Sherlock & Co. - The Musgrave Ritual - Part Two

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

FROZEN IN TIME - We found ourselves at Hurlstone Castle with our host; Reginald Musgrave. The temperature had plummeted and the esteemed structural renovator Richard Brunton had gone missing. What we learned however, about his final steps, simply did not add up. Part 2 of 4 This episode contains swearing, drug references, deathListener discretion is advised.A new clothing store has opened: www.sherlockwear.com For merchandise and transcripts go to: www.sherlockandco.co.uk For ad-free, early access to adventures in full go to www.patreon.com/sherlockandco To get in touch via email: [e-mail] Follow me @DocJWatsonMD on twitter and BlueSky, or sherlockandcopod on TikTok, instagram and YouTube.  This podcast is property of Goalhanger Podcasts. Copyright 2026.SHERLOCK AND CO. Based on the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Paul Waggott as Dr. John WatsonHarry Attwell as Sherlock Holmes Marta da Silva as Mariana Ametxazurra Joel Emery as Reginald MusgraveAdditional Voices:Stefan BennettAdam Jarrell Written by Joel Emery Directed by Adam Jarrell Editing and Sound Design by Holy Smokes Audio Produced by Neil Fearn and Jon Gill Executive Producer Tony Pastor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Audio books, every early access adventures, mailbag episodes, case file episodes, AMAs, behind the scenes, microadventures, authored by Watson himself, a Discord channel with nearly 2,000 chatter little members, merchandise discounts, exclusive events, and, yes, done. Yeah, it's the most important bit, mate. Oh, patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Thanks. Previously on Sherlock and Co.

Look, I don't want to hurt his feelings, especially on his birthday, but sometimes we have to take a little bit of pain to ease the big. pain of our friends, right? John, he could be... Me, he could be going through something right now? His brain works differently, do you and me? Going through something, please. Victor!

Sherlock's late for the funeral. What? What? If that's why you've been acting off, you know, doing erratic things, then I understand. I haven't been off or doing erratic things. Ah, 39 seconds, that lasted. You okay, Sherlock?

Hmm. Can't help. in my detachment. Perhaps her deliberate emotional mechanism maybe. Sherlock mentioned he was a teacher at your... at the college, Dulwich College? Mr Musgrave, yeah. The good teacher.

Good man. It has all been a rather challenging predicament. The decision to come to the funeral or simply let it pass me by. Why would you not come? That's Reginald Musgrave. His son. Mr. Musgrave was so...

lovely, but Reginald was a tyrant, the devil adorned in human flesh, a bastard, a wanker, a platinum plated prick! Oh, all right, let's just... Mr. Musgrave had such a soft spot for Sherlock. His sung Reginald, however.

There is, I'm afraid to say, an observation that lingers unfiled. Is there indeed? Yes, and it's rather an important one. You said you needed it. Needed it. You said the...

trick of deduction. You needed it. Why? Reginald Musgrave. Hmm? Do you require my services? Services. Sherlock runs a detective agency. What are your plans for this weekend? The Musgraves have been at Hurlestone Castle for nearly 700 years. When my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, his very first act, before treatment plans, before wills was to arrange for my succession there. Most would have called it a gift. He, I hope, understood. It was rather more of a burden just three weeks ago. Richard Brunton, my esteemed project manager, leading expert in the high medieval period. Vanishing. Vanishing. Vanis off the face of the earth.

Part two or four of the Musgrave ritual. A little bit of turbulent ahead, swearing of plenty, as usual. Drugs, they show up as they are prone to do, and yeah, see you at the end. Hi there, my name is Richard Brunton. I'm one of the leading heritage development directors here in the UK. As the founder here at Stonecraft, we have redeveloped and restored hundreds of Britain's most treasured and fabled heritage sites. From Underloom House in Shropshire, to Minam's Tower in Northumberland, and Astley's Keep

in Aberdeenshire, all of which now spearhead the UK's premium hospitality industry, all of which were saved from decay and demolition. If you have a listed property that faces these same threats, then please don't hesitate to get in touch with us. You can find me personally in the chat box below, or at Richard at Stonecroft. I just can't believe how cold. Oh, this is. Okay, shall I see if I've got another, yet another jumper in the car?

Yeah, maybe one that doesn't say, Stamos stag, 2025 on it. Firstly, I didn't seek it out. That was the official dress code. And secondly, do you want the extra jumper or not? You should probably take up his offer. There's an old Guinness stain down your back. What? Oh, ew, no.

Ew, ew, ew. Please let's just get this fire started. It's started. But the hearth is so vast. We're losing heat. What? Nice. Light it on the fire?

Excuse me, Sherlock. Let me just, um... Here we go. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Sherlock. Happy birthday to you.

Wow, that's a cupcake you've sat on. Yeah, but I only sat on this bit of it, though. The rest of it is bum-free and delicious. Is this our client coming in? I hope it will help with the heating, right? Thank you for the Cupcake team. Very, very kind. What a birthday, eh? Big creepy castle, freezing cold, missing bloke. Doesn't get better for you, does it?

Hi, I'm Mariana. Hello there, I'm Reginald. It doesn't get any worse. You all got in all right, I see? Splendid. Terrific. Sherlock, goodness, so sorry for the delay, old boy. One has to get everything in place at the city apartment before I... Well, yes, well, head out to this place. Give us a shake, old boy. There we go.

Forgive me for not engaging more fully at the funeral. I was quite hopelessly in my own head. The old man and I had complexities. Hardly surprising, of course, given he was already well into his later years when I arrived on the scene, as it were. Yes, well, everyone else had a marvellous relationship with him. So perhaps the problem wasn't him. Yes, perhaps you're right.

One can harbour ill feelings that are largely frustrated. frustrations against oneself, can't they? Oh, let me see if I can flick the kettle on and get some hot water bottles going. Two dicks. Utter, asshole. Who? That despicable fellow. The original guy.

Are you hating on posh people now like he does? I don't hate on posh people. Yes, you do. Last week, you kicked that boy's ball away in the park because his name was Balthasar. Oh, well, I mean, come on, Balthazar. That's fair. Plus I could hear him talking about a skiing trip. Oh, so now he can't go skiing?

To answer your point, Sherlock hates him because he was brutally bullied by Reginald Musgrave at school. Oh my God. Sherlock, I'm so sorry. That's awful. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? Your lips are blue. I... What?

They are a bit blue. It's okay. Don't worry. We'll get warm soon. I was in Ukraine, you know, and developed a very tough skin when it comes to extreme temperatures. I was talking to you. Yeah. And your nose is basically purple.

Oh my God, is it? God's sake, Sherlock, what's happening with this fire? It is a castle. How exactly would you plan on heating this 700-year-old building the size of the Royal Albert Hall? I thought he said construction was all sorted downstairs. Well, we know he's a deceitful man, don't we? Hence this elaborate, affable persona he has developed.

Can we be serious for a moment? After all his renovations, it would seem the plumber was next on the list. Oh, where are you going? I'm going to walk around a bit, try and warm myself up. Hello, everyone, and welcome to Hurlstone Castle in Sussex. This is the voice of the late podcaster John Watson, who froze to death at the age of 36. Yeah, the thing is, when you live with a detective

that blatantly has aristocratic heritage, even though he never talks about it, you end up with a lot of gigs like this. This particular gig, being the disappearance of, Richard Brunton from an actual castle. Yeah, I've been looking him up, actually. He's sort of an elite project manager for property development. Well, redevelopment.

Once the hotel renovation got the green light, he got the job, Hank got cracking on giving this place new purpose. Another chapter in the annals of Hurlestone Castle. And what annals, I have to say, built in... Nope, not going to do that spiral. staircase, that's mental. I'll walk this way instead. Built in the 13th century, the 1200s,

that's right. But why was a castle built in Sussex all that time ago, John? Well, you of course know that the second barons war between 1264 and 1267 was a civil war in England between the forces of barons led by

Simon De Montfort against the royalist forces of King Henry III, led initially by the king himself and later by his son, the future King Edward I. Yeah, that was Wikipedia, sorry. But yeah, some old Musgraves, royalist fanboy Musgraves, I should add, built this place for defence, and it became as unbelievable as it is to say

when you're staring at cobwebs dangling 20 feet above your head. A home. They stayed as staunch royalists and... Oh shit. Literally just walked into a knight in shining armour. Oh, sorry, mate, let's put you back together there. Fuck sake, 1645, that's ancient. If I broke it over there.

Don't think so. Right. There we go. This way. Yeah, well, that shiny knight over there fought out the next Civil War, the big one, 1640s. His lot, I'm afraid to say, lost. And the king, Charles I lost his head. And this fortress to hearten the royal.

and strike fear into the parliamentarians. Well, it became a home, and as we know, every good home needs weaponry on the wall. A nice sword collection here, and yeah. Actually, I think I should probably... Sherlock! Sherlock! I'm just going to run something by the boss man. Yes, Watson.

Oh, yikes. What is that? Is that? That is a battle axe. Indeed. I'm not overreacting, am I? There's a battle axe on the floor. Yes. And wielded somewhat recently.

See the grip of hands silhouetted against the dust. Do you want me to grab Reginald? By the throat, be my guest. Will you just... It's the only weapon you can really reach without a ladder, I guess. Well noted. But why would someone in this castle require a battle axe? Well, there's no renovations done to this wall, or this hallway, actually.

So couldn't have been cleared for that. No. Plans state that this hallway isn't part of the hotel refurbishment. It ends by their dining room and spans all the way to the pantry lodges. So what's down this way? Well, fortunately, that deceitful Reginald gave you a floor plan. And it looks like... The...

The library? Did Reginald mentioned the builders using the library at all for, I don't know, storage or breakout space? They have a site office outside and a barn for storage. These areas are off limits. Yeah, but... It would be a fierce stipulation from any heritage trust, John. The hotel renovation is taking part in a much younger part of the building, post-Civil War. This is all pre-1640.

It must be preserved. Let it do. Managed to track a couple down to keep them going. Shh. Sherlock, I realise he is your more. mortal enemy. Hello? We have no enemies, and we have no friends.

Hello! We have only a case and it's suspects. Do you understand? Mm-hmm. Are you still there, old boy? Right, so we have a battle axe. And a bunch of questions. Indeed.

What do we do? Are you hiding out? Confront him. Let's see him wriggle his way out of this. Oh, yes, the battle axe. Medieval Marshal Axe, I should say, of the Andrévim period, to be exact. Yes, that was me. What?

Fratfully heavy things. things. Excuse me. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, did you want this pizza slice? Um, there's more. We ordered loads, right? Could you wipe that? The cheese from the pizza edge is dangling ever so slightly above the table. It's Burl Elm. Burl Elm. The table is Burl Elm from the Musgrave Elm that grew on this land for nearly 600 years, even fighting off an outbreak of Dutch Elm disease. I do not wish its polished memory to be stained by pizza cheese. Oh, okay. Uh, sorry. Thank you.

Can we... Maybe... get back to the battle axe? Of course. It was on the floor, the battle axe. Did you wield it, Reginald? Excuse me? You heard what I said. Why was it on the floor?

You said that you... that you used it? I said I used it. I do not leave things on the floor. Certainly not delicate iron heirlooms from the Norman period. You look a bit... you do not touch as long as you are under this roof. Did you return it to its proper position? Reginald, reginald, calm down, all right? There's no mess.

Yeah, everything looks great. We just... Excuse me. We want to know why you use the axe. It wasn't used in anger, was it? Hmm? Hey, old boy? You didn't go swinging it, it's some intruder.

That's exactly what I used it for. Wait, what? What? And so, the mask slips. What was that, Holmes? Nothing. Lovely pizza. Delicious. Cheers to our courageous delivery boy in the snow. So can we please get back to the axe-wielding attack?

Goodness gracious. When was it? Um, my mind lately. Such a blur, such a fuzz. Ah, no, of course. It was, uh, it was three weeks ago. Before Richard Brunton disappeared or after? Before, excuse me. Most certainly before. And I can tell you precisely why. The construction sign-off must be conducted in concert with the local authority planners.

and two separate heritage trusts, each of whom issue a grading to confirm that any alterations remain within the bounds of proper conservation and so on and all of this. They attended roughly half-past five that evening three weeks ago, yeah. And on that particular day, I also got to convene with the plumber, Richard Howells, who was to be commencing the next day. We discussed a somewhat complicated pipe run. Anyway, I ended up staying the night. And look, this is not a matter I'm especially eager to entangle myself in, but... What is it? I found a little, you know, at the site, that is, the building site.

I clean, you see, I clean incessantly. Things must be so. A little, you know. Yes, a substance that one would perhaps use to blow out the cobwebs. and I don't mean the ones on the stone limestone vaulting. No. Cocaine. Are we talking about cocaine?

We are indeed. Anyway, I went to Richard Brunton about it. These are his chaps, after all doing all this work. And I said, listen, old boy, look here, you've got all sorts nosing around in this project. We can't have this sort of thing. And I just, the moment I was speaking to him, I had to stop myself, because I just knew I could see it. That it was him? Yes.

And look, I'm hardly naive. I spent years in a hedge fund, for heaven's sake. I'm not some sort of moral constable. But one simply cannot have that sort of thing at Hurlstone. Quite apart from the mystique, it is, it is, you've seen it, it's a seminal sight in English history, and certain standards must be upheld. So the whole business was excruciating, deeply uncomfortable. He was rambling, flushed, pupils like dinner plates. I've seen it often enough. I said quite plainly, do not even consider bringing that here. It's the dishonesty. I cannot abide. That stuff is, is, I mean, pardon me, it's bullshit fuel. It is bullshit fuel. And I refuse to be misled. In any event, that was that. He had trotted off once the sign-off was complete. All exuberant, high-fives and hearty handshakes, the phase one accomplished bravado, and I remained. The trains were shambles the moment the cold snap began so I took one of the first floor guest bedrooms for the night.

Not the master suite? Master's, goodness, no. Like sleeping in a cathedral, a pars old lodgings. No, no, no good memories there, I'm afraid. Yes, the guest bedroom would do, and I, anyway, in the night, I wake up, and I can hear this, this boom and bang, bang, there's this creaking and rattling around. totally still night of course, totally still.

Deep, deep frost, ice on the windows, everything. There's no wind, no storm. But I can hear some action downstairs, I think. Oh, bloody hell, here we go. I head down there, nothing to defend oneself. But as I follow the noise, it takes me past that hallway, and I reach for it. The battle axe. That's right. Grasp it. Already feel a damn sight, Lord Braver, let me tell you that.

And I, um, I head down that stone corridor. It just gets tighter and tighter that thing, made for people a long time ago. And I get to the library door and I can see the light from inside spilling out. Someone's bloody in there. That's crazy. I took a deep breath. I braced myself. And I threw open the door with my best authoritative baritone

and say, What the devil are you doing? And there he is. Simply staring at me. Who? Richard Brunton. Oh man. He's got his blood.

feet up, feet up on the old bureau. He's perusing papers, he's swinging keys on his finger like he owns the place. So you caught him at what time? Oh, goodness. I mean, one a.m., perhaps? 1 a.m. in your library, off limits for the project team, right? It was an absolute deluge from him. This torrent of explanations and apologies and flattery, sorry this, sorry this, sorry that. You're a You're a decent chap. We can strike a deal. I'm terribly interested in history and ancestry. On and on. His eyes were practically bulging out of his head. He's speaking at a hundred miles an hour. Meanwhile, I'm just, my father was gravely ill. I was frozen to the bone, exhausted, and I simply... I snapped. Yes. I snapped. I... I... I snapped. I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

lost my temper entirely. I was two inches from his face, quite quite literally. Never mind the axe, this was the real assault from me. I was effing this, effing that,

considerably stronger than that, I assure you, but I will spare you the vocabulary, you know. Yes, I do know. Yeah, sorry, carry on, Reginald. And yes, as I've said, he was still on Cloud Bloody Nine. utterly impervious to reality, continuing with this ghastly refrain of,

We can sort this out, Reg, and so on. Firstly, I do not answer to Reg, for heaven's sake. Secondly, out. Get out, man. Immediately. Quite beyond all bounds of propriety. Your position here is Finnish, Dickie, Brunton. I shall secure a replacement.

He begins, galley. gathering his belongings and then quite astonishingly, this retinous fellow proceeds to take photographs of the documents he'd been rifling through. I said, out now! What precisely is the matter with you? And off he went, mercifully. The following morning, nothing, nothing whatsoever from him. Not a peep.

Meanwhile, several of the chaps had arrived on sight. All awaiting instruction. So I was obliged to disentangle the situation myself. They were naturally waiting on the plumbing, I believe. Aren't we all? Hence, the blankets. Quite so. But no plumber. No Richard Brunton.

Though, to be fair, I had dismissed him, so one might assume the penny had finally dropped. A few days past, the entire project grinds to a halt. I attempt to call him myself. Nothing. Total silence. His PA hadn't seen him either. And that was that. He had simply vanished. Completely and utterly gone.

Nobody saw him after that evening in the library. Not a soul. Not a soul, Holmes. No, no, sorry, forgive me. That's not true. Higgs. Higgs saw him. Higgs. Yes, yes, plasterer. Not sure of his Christian name. They all called him Higgs. Where did he see him? Well, yes, he claimed he saw the lone figure of Richard Brunton the very next morning,

just stood out by the forest off the south lawn. He was slowly walking towards the castle. And then what? Poof. Gone. Impossible. Morning. Morning. What are you doing out here? Whoa, it is. A winter wonderland.

A thick snowfall overnight. Yeah, I see that. The skies have cleared now. That temperature has dropped considerably. Yeah, well, we've basically had freezing weather for a month. So snow like this was always going to happen. What are you thinking? Hmm?

About last night, Reginald's story on Richard Brunton. I fear, unlike this beautiful crisp sky, my mind may well be clouded. Right. I understand that. You don't trust your observations. I fear not. The Musgrave name is a complex one.

The father was such a comfort, the son, such a torment. Do you think he's responsible? I think he may well be. It's strange. He seems like... Please don't inform me yet again how very nice he seems. Are you kidding? After the Elm Tree Pizza lecture?

No. No, like, um, like he's from another time. Another world. Exactly. How so? He's just so... The way he talks, the way he stands, his manners, the whole show. Yep.

If I had met him briefly, I would think he's such a fake. Ugh, a phony. But he really is that way. Oh, wow, snow. Hey, John. We literally mentioned. the snow like four times. Oh. Morning. Morning. Morning. Morning. Morning. Uh, Reginald. Right. Who. Gloves, teamy. And hats. Oh, you beauty. Uh, you go, Sherlock. Sincere

apologies for this one, old boy. Last of the hats I have in the dressing room, I'm afraid. Oh, a deer stalker. Right. Yeah, well, keeps your ears warm, at least. Mm-hmm. Ful. Blimey, it's quite the coat there, Reginald. Bless you, John. Isn't she just? I picked her up in Tibet, well, on the border of Tibet, I should say. In 2015, I believe it was. She's made of lynx. Tibetan lynx, gorgeous creature. You'll see this. Look at that there. There's, yeah, that's good, good colouring. That exquisite, beige to gold. In the faint spotting there, you see. Tibetan lynx, eh? Marvelous beast. Elegant, yes, but utterly rigorous. Predators in snow just like this, Reginald.

Should you wish to stalk any prey this afternoon, you're certainly dressed for it. Right, well, this snow is ever so thick, isn't it? Come this way, and we can have a chat with Mr Higgs. I don't think I'm thawing out the higher car any time, sir. As long as our pizza delivery fellow can make it through, we shall endure, John Watson. Yeah, yeah.

The Mercedes there. That is Richards. Oh, wait, he left his car here. Yes. As I say, he came to work the following morning after our exchanging of words. And I'd rather hope to apologize to him, but... Yes. Okay.

This is Hellstone Castle Fixer Upper H.Q. Sighthoffitt. Why is that there? This should all be cleaned on. It's not acceptable. Reginald, how you doing, all right? This, Higgs, is a site office of what will be a masterful restoration. We do not leave cups, we do not leave flasks, and we do not leave old shoes lying around, do we?

We don't, Reginald, no, apologies for that. Higgs, what is this? What is this? Your hand. How high is it? Very. And what does it represent, Higgs? Our standards. Exactly. That is where we need to be.

Not here, not here, here. Of course. Hi there, you're right. This is, um, this... Kevin, Kevin Higgs, right, yes, this is our... Somewhat of a deputy now, aren't you, with all that's gone on? Could say that, yeah, yeah. The last man to see Richard Brunton.

I mean, yeah. What's funny? No, sorry, it's just... The lads are just... Teasing, yes, most unfortunate. Joshing of poor Higgs here. headed the other day. Why? Because I reckon I

saw a ghost. What exactly did you see? Well, as I imparted earlier homes, Mr. Branton, walking from the trees... I will hear it from Mr Higgs. Um, no, uh, yes. Oh, yeah, of course. Watson, perhaps you could take a look at Reginald's left eye.

I have detected a twitch or two when distressed. It, um, it's fine. Thank you. I'm quite all right. Kevin. If you could. Well, it was, like Reginald says, it was a day Richard went missing, the morning of,

I was getting bits out of my van, and I look out to the lawn, and, you know, it's a beautiful sun coming up. What time? It was bang on ten, I know that, 100%, because I wasn't needed until ten, because my plaster needed to drive from the day before, you see. Right, continue.

Right, yeah, so I look at it. there towards the trees across the lawn and I can see this man doing these like slow steps across the grass and you believe that man to be Richard absolutely why had his big puffy gee lay on he always wore that didn't he I could see that and he was tall as well he's a tall fellow he was definitely him understood he's doing this He's slow walk, he's got his head down the whole time. He's almost like he's walking like a... Like a zombie.

Just out in the open? Middle of the lawn? Yep. And this is why that's mental, right? I turn away from him because the van's coming up the drive. It's Roy. Roy. Roy Howell's a plumber.

But the plumber's Richard's guy, right? He's not like... We're all local, you know? Richard and Roy come from... I can't remember. It's like Norfolk or something. That's rather peculiar. As I met Roy the night before.

And then... What? He never arrived to work. I could never contact him. But you'll say he arrived that morning. Yeah, at first, he definitely showed up. Yeah. I'll give him a wave,

then I turn back towards where Richard was on the lawn, and he's gone. Richard Brunton is just gone. Hand on my heart, gone. Could he have ran back to the trees? What, in like two seconds? Nah, I couldn't do that in two minutes. Fascinating.

And sorry, hold on, where's the plumber? Where's Roy? Exactly. Where's... I bet he's scarpered, the moment he heard of Richard and I coming to blows. That is pathetic. Well, we had a chat, a real quick chat, mind. I said about the pipe run he needs to do so I can then plaster over it. And he goes, oh, they didn't specify a new run, so he has to go get the parts and this. Then he was off. He is a liar. That is a blatant untruth.

I discussed the pipe run with him the night before. Just telling you what he said. That he's... Yeah, right. Let's just hear the rest of this. I don't know what to say about that. That's not my area, but... Yeah, he...

He became... He just... You couldn't get hold of him. Royed just went quiet. I don't know. Maybe he wanted to charge that back to Richard Brunton. Maybe he didn't like the outlay for him. Probably didn't get a reply like the rest of us that day,

and that was that. Yes, so it would appear. You okay, Sherlock? Yes. Just thinking. Ah, he got through the snow. Tremendous! My peer, Dr. Knee, carved stone planters are here. No, no, no, excuse me.

No, this is not a driveway. This is a decorative, this is decorative stonework. All of this here. Turn your van back southwards. Kevin, this site office seems somewhat of a communal space for the tradesman. That's right, yeah. Where might Richard have done his work? Turn around. That door right there. Not that one, that's the toilet.

Thank you kindly. Well now, it would appear everything is right where it should be. Except for Mr. Richard Brunton. Literally, everything is here. Everything. Car keys. Yes, that's his. Clothes, suitcase, air pods.

There's a backpack here. And, ew. Oh, a lunch. I think. A very old. Moldy? Oh, yeah. Frozen lunch. It would seem Mr. Richard Brunton was in the midst of making himself a cup of tea. Rather well-brewed, this one. Wouldn't you agree, Watson? Yeah. Yeah, and another problem. Also frozen solid. Indeed. Hmm.

What? Hicks could be right. Notes here saying money's owed to Roy Howells. Hous. Thousands. Not unusual for the industry, though. Work overruns, materials accumulate. That is not unusual. But this room certainly is. This was a man that had no intention of leaving this project.

Look at this place. Mr. Higgs, the plasterer, gets mocked for what he saw. But he didn't see a ghost. Richard came back here in the morning, ready for work. He took a few steps across the lawn and then... Gone. Gone. It's an incredible place. Yeah.

Especially in this weather. You know, it's... Looks like a Christmas card or something. Yeah. Beautiful. You know what, though? Artie would not approve. No, yeah, rubbish. All the dog pits is frozen.

Mud's rock hard. Plus, he's such a diva about the snow. Oh, I know. Oh, you should get him a dog coat. Never in a million years. Thank you. Why not? I don't want him to forget his Swindon Root.

Actually, why not see if Reginald has any more lynx, sir? Can you believe that? Links? Who wears Links? Well, I did, of course, done plenty of lynx Africa in my younger years. We've paid off very well at the Year 9 Halloween disco, by the way. Did it now. Oh yeah, just ask Hanna Vicks, mate. What a snogathon, let me tell you. Oh, no. John.

Oh, no. Yep. Oh, you're disgusting. It's not disgusting. I don't want to picture you. Snoggling, some poor girls. Snoggling. What?

Wait, what is it? Snogging. Oh, words. Stupid words. Why do you guys have so many stupid words? Best kind of words, mate. Hey, watch this. What are you doing?

Snow Angel, come on. No, no, no, no. Are you serious? Yes. Oh, so I'm just making a snow angel by myself? Yeah, looks that way, my friend. Oh, is there Mike okay? Of course. Why wouldn't it be?

Because you landed on it? Excuse me, I'm on a diet. Is it a magic diet that makes you weightless? And look at this. Cardio, so... Making a snow angel. Of course, of course. Textbook, cardio.

Right, that ought to do it. Look at that beautiful angel. Oh, little guy. Hmm, thank you. You got you as bad as Archie in this weather. They've got no snow in the Basque country, no? In the mountains, yeah. But I am a San Sebastian girly.

I think I saw snow there once. But I'm more about water. Whoa. Whoa. That is a... It's totally frozen. A lake? Well, is that a lake?

Lake or giant pond? I'd say lake. Shall I step on it? Yeah, let's see how that diet is going. Ah. Yeah, I mean, it's like, it's totally frozen solid. Stepping on it, I'm stepping on it, folks. Ah.

Hey, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that is frozen solid. This ice must be like two inches deep, minimum. Let me try. Hey, come on over. We didn't do an ice rink this Christmas, so maybe we just do it now. Woo! Ah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's slippery. Oh, bad. Oh, my hand, where are you going? I can't help it, I'm sliding away. Get the, God's sake, just turn around. I can't. I can't. Oh, my God.

You look ridiculous. This is, oh, no, oh boy. Oh, I feel so helpless. Oh, help me. Just move your feet. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll slip. Oh, well, then, just drift away forever then.

Okay. Okay, I'm going to try and. And turn. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And come back your way. Thank you, Sherlock is doing serious investigative work, and you're just sliding around on a lake.

So are you. Oh, oh, dear. Oh, no, you're okay. I told you. I'd sleepover. And you were all like, no, no, you need to turn. And... Hey, Marianne, you're all right.

There's a face. There's a face There's a face under the ice John What? What? What are you talking about? Look, look, look, right there, right there, right there. What? Oh my God.

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