Sherlock & Co. - The Stockbroker's Clerk - Part One

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

THE TROJAN HORSE - Ever get that feeling you're being watched? OK- take that feeling and times it by ten. That's what it's like living with Sherlock Holmes. I get myself a real date with a real girl and SOMEHOW it ends up being about him. And kind of about her. And kind of about an enormous financial conspiracy.  Part 1 of 3 This episode contains swearing. Listener discretion is advised. A new clothing store has opened: www.sherlockwear.com For merchandise and transcripts go to: www.sherlockandco.co.uk For ad-free, early access to adventures in full go to www.patreon.com/sherlockandco To get in touch via email: [e-mail] Follow me @DocJWatsonMD on twitter and BlueSky, or sherlockandcopod on TikTok, instagram and YouTube.  This podcast is property of Goalhanger Podcasts. Copyright 2026. SHERLOCK AND CO. Based on the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Paul Waggott as Dr. John Watson Harry Attwell as Sherlock Holmes Marta da Silva as Mariana Ametxazurra Helena Doughty as Hayley Pycroft Kimberley Nixon as Ruby St Clair Additional VoicesAlex Hack-RobertsJoel EmeryAdam Jarrell Written by Joel Emery Directed by Adam Jarrell Editing and Sound Design by Holy Smokes Audio Produced by Neil Fearn and Jon Gill Executive Producer Tony Pastor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For just six pounds a month, binge ad-free adventures in full and have access to so much more over at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and co. Ah, welcome, welcome. No, no, don't worry, you're not late, you're just on time. Here's your ticket. You're in B12 for this screening of the adventure of the stockbrokers clerk. No phones. Do you know what? There's no popcorn in this cinema. Just, just bugs me. No, no feet. on the seats that winds me up as well but you absolutely can have some pick and mix or even just some sweets that you've picked up at the supermarket nearby for a much more reasonable price this feature contains swearing bickering flirting kissing shouting what else no farting because Archie is on a different food check the description don't ask me I don't know part one of three enjoy yes

yes just wait I'm doing it spare microphone And its recordings will please, Watson. It will fold nicely into a recorded adventure for him, and you and I will soon be off the hook. Sorry, off the hook for what exactly? For using him, misleading him, lying to him. There was something else. Wait, why are we doing that?

Because we are going to present him as a big, beautiful, gleaming Trojan horse. A Trojan horse? Yes. John, the horse, will woo a girl by the name of... of Haley Pyecroft. Sorry, John is gonna woo a girl? Have you met, John? This Haley individual is working for an insidious corporation in the city of London

that may have been responsible for the brutal ostracization and beating of Neville S. Clair. Ruby's husband? From the man with a twisted lip? That's right. So what? You want John to go out with a girl that works with financial gangsters? Are you insane? I found Haley Puycroft on Instagram.

She pretends to live in Birmingham, but look at this. Very poor indeed. Got you, you harlot. Hmm. She's going to Camden Food Market. Quite the trip from the Midlands, is it not? She will be there in exactly 42 minutes. You, being a woman, will approach her, vaguely recall her from an internship in the city. Sherlock. Whoa, whoa, wait.

She will be too embarrassed to reject your assumption, and you will go on to converse, eventually reaching the subject of your handsome and luscious. single doctor friend who is free that very night. Sherlock. Welcome, listeners, to the adventure of the Trojan horse. Giddy up. My name is Dr. John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fuselier Regiment. Now, a true crime podcast that are based in Central London.

I don't have much experience in criminology. So this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person. I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Haley. Oh my God, how embarrassing. I literally just walked straight past you. Oh, I had to catch you.

God, what a start. Anyway. Yeah, no, how are you? How was your trip down to London? Down, east. Well, yeah. Down and east. Yeah, no, it was fine. It was fine. It's nice to be back.

Yeah, Mariana said you used to live in London. I did, yeah, but work. They moved to Birmingham? No, I got a new job there. Yeah. Oh, cool. Cool, you like it? Not really, but yeah, I'm trying to give it a bit of a reset, really. Your table is ready. Ah, Fab. Fab, lead the way.

Oh, thank you. No, no, no, she just said you were free to. tonight and she said like you were looking to like give life a try uh yeah like I don't know I just I just like the energy of of what you seem to be about that's good it's serendipity I think they call that exactly that and you of course I mean you you said about the reset sorry cheers oh cheers good luck with the wine choice there is a lot riding on this I know I shouldn't have said anything Should I? I've come across like some wine expert.

Here we go. Let's do it. Okay. Yeah, I'm getting... What am I getting? You're getting black currants. You're getting smokiness. Cherries.

Wow, yeah, I am. God, you really are an expert. It said those things on the wine list. Yeah, sorry. Oh, right, bloody hell. What was... No, yeah. I'm trying to give Birmingham just a bit of reset, really,

because basically I got a job there, and it's just quite a lonely job, for starters. It's a... what is it? Oh, CFO. CFO, yeah, just me and the boss. Oh, yeah, that is lonely. Exactly. So I was kind of having this chat with myself the other day,

whilst I was like feeling lonely or down about it, I don't know. And I just said to myself, Haley, you haven't given Birmingham a chance at all. You haven't joined a club, a gym. You haven't gone on a date. Like this? Yeah, like this. Yet you have chosen a date in London. I know.

I literally said it to my mum on the way here. I was like, I've got a date, mum. And she went, oh, great, you're coming out of your shell. And I said, it's in London. and she was like Haley Pyecroft, for God's sake. No, no, yeah. But you get what I mean. No, no, I totally get it.

I'm not sort of, I don't know, really. Living to your full potential. Exactly that. Exactly. Well, to living to your full potential. Yeah. Cheers. Cheers.

Yeah, and it was probably after, yeah, it was after that case. actually that we basically became kind of, you know, we agreed to start the detective agency. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. You've got any Ming pottery facts for me now? Oh, good Lord, not a single thing has stayed in my head. Wow, no, not one thing. In my defence, we've had a lot of cases since then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, well, you are in there. Hotel tonight, yeah. Just in London for the weekend. Cool, cool. brunch tomorrow with some friends from the uni days. Oh, nice. Then, yeah, back to Birmingham.

Back to Birmingham. And hey, you know, if you want to go and see a film or explore all that Birmingham has to offer, but I'm happy to, you know, jump on the train and come see you. That'd be great. Great. Great. Great.

Hey. Hmm. Oh. Maybe see you on Birmingham? Yeah, see you in Birmingham. I'll show you around. Looking forward to it. I know nothing about the place.

I'll just be making stuff up. That is fine by me. Night. No night. Good night. Haley. How did it go? Jesus.

Fucking Christ. Where the hell did you come from? Lombard Street. No, I mean the flat. No, just then. Where were you? Behind you. What do you mean behind me?

I followed you. Followed me? To the restaurant. You were in the restaurant? Yes. I was the rather camped gentleman in the parker that held the door upon your exit. That's absolutely no problem at all. That... where did you get the Parker?

From the cloakroom? Eh, whose... was it? Sorry, what has this got to do with your date? A lot now? Apparently, God's sake! I am simply curious as to how it went. Why? Exactly, why does it matter?

Well, it's been a long time since you've had the courage to go on a date and... I went on one before Christmas. And you followed me then as well. Yes, but I solved a problem for that one. And you even typed it up as a little... story for your Patreon. Which people can join for just six pounds a month? You're welcome. Thanks, but firstly, it's our Patreon, not mine. And secondly, she wasn't there for a problem. She was there to go on a date with me. And she did. And I solved her problem. Two birds, one Sherlock.

Now, Haley Puyckroft, what do we think of her? I'd rather like a smile. There is a slightly crooked incisor at the right seven. I'm not a dentist, but thank you. I think that tiny imperfection could bloom into something rather endearing. She's rather self-conscious about it, mind? Is she? Yes. How do you know? She underbites and pulls it inwards against its root of protrusion. Probably a habit she's formed over the years to realign it. Right. But I surveyed the date and I think you did a rather good job, from when I turned up at least.

Okay, yeah, well, you didn't miss much in the beginning. I was a bit shaky. Yeah, I don't have that. knack comes with practice. Understandable. Good for you, though, John. Thanks. So, how did it go? Um, look, I think the date was okay, but, you know, I haven't really had time to process it. Why not? Because I was accosted by a man in the shadows of a side street, you shouted, how did it go?

Apologies? No, no, it's fine. You don't have to apologise. I just... I just want to sit. you know, decompress, think maybe send her a message without you know, somebody shouting. How did it go?

Ah, God's sake! Neville has been weird. No, not weird, that's harsh. Guarded about the whole thing, which is fair, you know, there's some nasty people involved. I can tell, right? Because he's scared.

Uh-huh. He said the other day he met an old friend that had become a recruiter. in the city. He'd listen to your episodes. John's episodes, but fine. Well, Neville was hoping to, you know, get back on the horse. And Neville says, well, what are the chances of me getting my old job at

Mawson and Williams back? Start as a stockbroker, maybe even a stockbroker's clerk. They're old-fashioned at that place. Yes, I am aware of the establishment. Investment bank. Mm-hmm. Well, anyway, recruiter cut him off, Neville says the guy was nearly shaking. He leans in and says, Mawson and Williams are compromised. Compromised. He apparently then goes the greatest bank robbery of all time. And he says the key is Haley Pyecroft. Then Neville said the guy got quite upset and shifting. Conversation

kind of fizzled out to usual city talk. Hasn't been able to get a hold of him. Haley Pycroft. Hailey Pycroft. Sherlock & Co., Marianna speaking? Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh no, no, no. I mean, I'm sorry to hear that,

but that does sound like something we can help with. Mm-hmm. Yes. It would be best to email just because of our current schedule. Yeah. And get documentation. and pictures and stuff like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem at all.

Yes. Doc J. Watson, MD at Gmail.com. You can use that, Mr. Moran. Sebastian Moran. Okay. Thank you, Sebastian. We look forward to reviewing your case. Mm-hmm.

Okay, thank you. Bye-bye. What? Wait, where's the music gone? Hmm, that's weird. Right, Archie Boy? Morning. Morning. Everything all right?

Oh, yes. My music stopped and did this weird buffer thing. Oh, a new case coming through. How about the case of the missing doctor? There's a case about a missing doctor? Yes, one that ate a bowl of cornflakes, wiped up his dog's vomit, had a shower, used a shampoo that wasn't his. paced around the room reading football news, then departed suddenly. Ah, okay, okay, I see.

Quite the curious little case, and I see he has left important things behind. Oh, has he now? Yes, indeed. His band of merry listeners. They're my listeners, too. Oh, and mine, of course. Yep. Hello, all.

How are you doing in that little microphone of ours? Good? Wonderful, glad to hear it. Our missing doctor has a patient with a little record. current case of Watson Nitis. Has he indeed? And he left this microphone behind? For privacy?

Then it is serious. I mean, he only went on one date with her last night. He's meeting her at a cafe by the train station before she goes home. My suspicions are confirmed. They were messaging in the night. I didn't get the usual banging and complaints regarding my violin. Texting? Mm-hmm.

You think more? Textual intercourse. Sherlock. What? Ew. I merely speculate. It's not even call that. And no, no.

No? No. That's for long-term, long-distance couples, not for somebody you've just met. Ah, I see. Don't even think about it. About what? Tracking him down and stalking him again? My business requires a great deal of stalking related activity.

I am merely working. You are on thin ice with him. and this whole situation. And I do not want to be there when he realizes you orchestrated this whole thing with that Haley-Mycroft girl. Pie. Pie?

Pie-Croft, not Mycroft, Mariana. You are required to keep the pretense that you know her. You made me go and speak to her. I didn't even want to do that. And now you're pretending that I know her. She is a catch we must hold on tight to. There is no fine abate than a single doctor with a good sense of humor and flaws

that are purely trivial, like his itch. or his playfulness. Or his cynicism? Yes, that. And his frugality. And he is kind of clumsy. Oh, deeply self-conscious at times too.

Hiya, this goes on for a while, so we will up the playback speed a bit. Bye. Yeah, self-conscious. Whenever actually wants to talk about it or work on it. That's the influence of his mother. Yeah, he's on his boy, so he also cares too much about what people think. And he can have a curious scent after dog walks. Sweat, that's sweat.

He's kind of neurotic, I think that's from Carol too. And he probably drinks too much. Refused to dry January. He's terrible at shaving his way. Always misses what. He gets his hair cut at that place he hates. Just so he can complain. He's a masochist. He is absolutely a masochist. And he is so British. Hmm, yes. Irreversibly so.

You're all right? Oh, hey, hi there. Oh, hello, John. I didn't see you there. How is your day going thus far? Um, it was going quite well, actually. Was it indeed? I'm thrilled. Anyway, let's be about my work. I have a severed talon of a red kite that will require some

study. No, no, you asked me how my day was going thus far, so let me tell you thusly. That's not the correct usage of the word. I got a second date. I got a second date, far sooner than I expected, in fact. Oh, how marvellous. I must celebrate right sprinting down the street. It's a neurodivergent thing. You wouldn't understand. No, no, no, no. Let's hear the rest of the story, shall we? Fine, yes. Haley and I went to a cafe, and then we spotted a nice restaurant opposite. Her train was delayed. We popped in there. We had a great time. Some parsley got stuck in my teeth and we even had a good laugh about it. You know, what a girl I thought to myself.

What a girl. And my heart was so full, you know, because I thought my good dear friend from Spain, lovely Mariana, decided to set us up and I thought to myself, well, isn't that so wonderful? That Mariana can tell that this vibrant, fun, beautiful woman would be such a great fit for her best friend John Watson. I was flattered, and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of fortune and excitement for the future. Lovely story. So I asked her, how long have you known, Mariana?

John. And she said five minutes. I never said. Five minutes. Oh dear, Marianna. Oh, dear indeed. And I said, oh, I was told you two had worked together before, and she said no. That's not what happened.

What actually happened was that Mariana, and a tall skinny man with ear defenders... He sounds rather charming. Asked her if she was single. Why? John, look, before you start, Mariana, only about 15% of my anger is directed at you. Oh, okay.

80% is that him? Is the other 5% Swindon Town Football Club? Yes. Thought as much. It's a job, isn't it? This is for a case. Life is one big case, really. Isn't it, John, when you think about it?

Mariana. It's for a case, yes. Sherlock would like to gain her trust for questioning on something. Right, goodbye. Come on, listeners. John, me. Hello, listeners. Just, uh... It's watching some pigeons in Paddington Station currently.

and there's this one pigeon with a limp. He's, you know, he's minding his own business. Seems like a decent enough pigeon. And then this girl pigeon, like lady pigeon, a pigeonette, comes up to him and, you know, it looks like it's going pretty well. He even shares a bit of a croissant crumb with her. And then this big stupid idiot, wanker pigeon comes and just jumps between them

and then they both fly off their separate ways. Remind you of anyone. Listeners Looks like the first pigeon had an award-winning podcast as well, just my observation. I was going to take this opportunity to go back to Swindon for a night.

It was meant to catch up with Mother Watson, with Carol. But I've now remembered that the Patreon members need a reward, and I forgot to edit the mailbag, and I've left my laptop at the flat. So, now I think I'll just have a sulk instead,

then just I don't know probably getting it to sue and go home going to cheer myself up with some randomly selected shoutouts I'll be honest with you the shoutout bin is full I'm dipping my hand in

rummaging around and just seeing what I come out with at this point so shout out to donut Tom alright Tom give us a donut will you mate appreciate it shout out to Nushin shout out to Izzy in West Australia

Happy 18th birthday to Ishita in Poon, India. R wants to give a shout out to Irene in New York. Hannah Fox in Wales asks for her sister Zara Fox to have a shout out. That's very kind, Hannah. There you go. Big hello to 16-year-old Emili in Tallinn, Estonia, to Bernardo from Brazil, to Catherine in China. Good luck with your graduation thesis.

Happy birthday. Lisa Griffiths. Pretty sure this is a belated. Happy birthday, but there you go. I'm going to put the big shout-out bin down now, everyone. Very global selection yet again. Let us once again reflect on the inward nature of the English people, who still, despite being the largest listening demographic,

very rarely ask for shout-outs. Weird, but... Uh, yeah, that's me. Got a few miscalls from Mariana, so maybe I should, um, maybe I should head back. Anyway, Raven Doctor says, hey John and Sherlock, I'm curious. If you two were in a zombie apocalypse, would you think you'll stick together to survive? Or do you two think you wouldn't last long? This can be any apocalypse situation such as the Walking Dead resident Eve. For those, un-initiated, that is a mailbag for Patreon that I will upload in a second. No!

I said... You will require this. Memory card, got loads of them, mate. It is for your edit. For my edit? For a mailbag, edit? No, it is a piece of audio required for the adventure, so it is clear and understandable. Narratively speaking. What adventure?

The adventure of the stockbrokers clerk. Right, literally never done an adventure called that, or anything similar. We are in the midst of it. Oh, right, are we indeed? Oh, that's fascinating, that is it. Could you possibly be in the midst of leaving? Could you be in the midst of improving your attitude? What I am in the midst of is giving you time to apologise.

The midst that you find yourself in. Stop saying midst. You stop saying midst. Midst. Midst. Midst. Midst. Midst.

Midst. Midst. Midst. Midst. Midst, midst. Mids, midst! Stop saying midst! Nice one!

Nice one, you've pissed off your accomplice now, haven't you? Did she tell you where she worked? What? Did Haley Pyecroft mention her place of work? It's important, John. Um... Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Somewhere in Birmingham. Why, is she in danger? Hmm, possibly. But she is also perhaps. Perhaps. Dangerous. I'm still forming my judgment. Shit. You look frustrated. Well, yes, I am. Why?

Because I wanted to stay away from whatever this was, but now you've said she's in danger. I said it was possible. Why? How? Come with me and find out. To where? Euston Station. This way. This way.

Yes, I can read the platform numbers. Thank you. In here. What's going on? Oh, table seat. No, don't want that one. I know which seat I want that one. I know which seat I want.

It's a little father. Uh, decent seats being turned down here, mate. That one's got a plug point. I have been tracking Haley Pyecroft for some time, Watson. Have you now? In connection to a conversation had with Neville St. Clair. So, uh, Ruby's husband. That's right.

He was. As you know, beaten almost a death for his financial mistakes and connections. His former employer, Mawson and Williams, discarded him as promptly as they could. And it would seem to me that that institution has been compromised. The greatest bank robbery of all time. I am still trying to understand exactly how or what is going on at Mawson and Williams on Lombard Street. They're a bank in the city?

Of sorts, yes. Investment bank, but no reports of missing funds or assets. Yeah, now I'm going to stop you there, She works in Birmingham, Sherlock. And this is why it would never have worked out between you. Oh, why, exactly? Because I was just used as bait? No, because you seek the truth.

And she has fed you nothing but lies. Isn't that right, Haley Pyecroft? What the... John? Hi. Hi. You have a table. And some spare seats.

Perfect. Perfect. For... What? for us to hear your confession. To binge this adventure in full and without ads, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock & Co.