Sherlock Holmes Short Stories - The Final Problem: Part One

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

Doctor Watson shares his dear friend’s ‘final’ story… in which Sherlock attempts to trap his nemesis Moriarty.    A Noiser podcast production.    Narrated by Hugh Bonneville   Wr...itten by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle  Produced by Duncan Barrett  Sound Design and Audio Editing by Mirianna Pitman Latham  Sound Supervisor: Tom Pink  Compositions: Dorry Macaulay and Oliver Baines  Mix & Mastering: Josh Latham  Series Consultant: Dan Smith  Executive Producer: Katrina Hughes    For ad-free listening and early access to new episodes, join Noiser+. Just click the subscription banner at the top of the feed to get started. Or go to noiser.com/subscriptions  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Don't miss the Devil Wears Prada 2 in theaters. Merrill Street, Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt, and Stanley Tucci are back. In light of the recent scandal, I'm here to restore your credibility. I did not hire you, and all I need to do is bide my time until you fail. On May 1st, icons. I'm going to make something of this job. Rain. Be the bridges.
Starting point is 00:00:18 I burn. Night my way. Forever. I just love my job. Get tickets now. The Devil Wears Prada 2 in theaters May 1st. Directed by David Frankel. I'm Hugh Bonneville and welcome to Sherlock Holmes short stories, the series where we delve into the files of fiction's most brilliant detective, following his keen mind and unerring instincts from the first subtle clue to the final dramatic revelation.
Starting point is 00:00:49 This time, Holmes faces the one man in the world whom he considers his intellectual equal. Professor James Moriarty, the so-called Napoleon of Crime. For many years now, Holmes has been working to bring down Moriarty's crime syndicate. Now, at last, he stands on the verge of completing his life's work. But Moriati doesn't intend to go down quietly. And when Holmes' nemesis finally catches up with him, the great detective will find himself between a rock and a hard place, with no solution in sight.
Starting point is 00:01:29 From the Noisor Podcast Network, this is the final problem. Part One It is with a heavy heart that I'd take up my pen to write these the last words in which I shall ever record the singular gifts by which my friend Mr Sherlock Holmes was distinguished. In an incoherent and, as I deeply feel, an entirely inadequate fashion, I have endeavored to give some account of my strange experiences in his company from the chance which first brought us together at the period of the study in Scarlet,
Starting point is 00:02:19 up to the time of his interference in the matter of the Naval Treaty, an interference which had the unquestionable effect of preventing a serious international complication. It was my intention to have stopped there, and to have said nothing of that event which has created a void in my life, which the lapse of two years has done little to fill. My hand has been forced, however, by the recent letters in which Colonel James Moriarty defends the memory of his brother, and I have no choice but to lay the facts before the public exactly as they occurred. I alone know the absolute truth of the matter, and I am
Starting point is 00:03:04 satisfied that the time has come when no good purpose is to be served by its suppression. As far as I know, there have been only three accounts. in the public press, that in the Journal de Geneva on May 6, 1891, the Reuters' dispatch in the English papers on May the 7th, and finally the recent letter to which I have alluded. Of these, the first and second, were extremely condensed, while the last is, as I shall now show, an absolute perversion of the facts. It lies with me to tell for the first time what really took place between Professor Moriarty and Mr Sherlock Holmes. It may be remembered that after my marriage and my subsequent start in private practice,
Starting point is 00:03:57 the very intimate relations which had existed between Holmes and myself became to some extent modified. He still came to me from time to time when he desired a companion in his investigation, but these occasions grew more and more seldom, until I found that in the year 1890 there were only three cases of which I retain any record. During the winter of that year and the early spring of 1891, I saw in the papers that he had been engaged by the French government upon a matter of supreme importance, and I received two notes from homes, dated from Naban and from Neme, from which I gathered that his stay in France was likely to be
Starting point is 00:04:37 a long one. It was with some surprise, therefore, that I saw him walk into my consulting room upon the evening of April the 24th. It struck me that he was looking even paler and thinner than usual. Yes, I have been using myself up rather too freely, he remarked in answer to my look rather than to my words. I have been a little pressed of late. Have you any objection to my closing your shutters? The only light in the room came from the lamp upon the table at which I had been reading.
Starting point is 00:05:17 Holmes edged his way round the wall, and flinging the shutters together, he bolted them securely. "'You are afraid of something?' I asked. "'Well, I am.' "'Of what?' "'Of air guns.' "'My dear Holmes, what do you mean?' "'I think that you know me well enough, Watson, to understand that I am by no means a nervous man. At the same time it is stupidity rather than courage to refuse to recognize danger,
Starting point is 00:05:47 when it is close upon you, might I trouble you for a match?' He drew in the smoke of his cigarette, as if the soothing influence was grateful to him. "'I must apologise for calling so late,' said he, "'and I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall.' "'But what does it all mean?' I asked. He held out his hand, and I saw in the light of the land, that two of his knuckles were burst and bleeding.
Starting point is 00:06:23 "'It is not an airy nothing, you see,' said he, smiling. "'On the contrary, it is solid enough for a man to break his hand over. "'Is Mrs. Watson in?' "'Oh, she is away upon a visit. "'Indeed, you are alone?' "'Quite. "'Then it makes it the easier for me to propose "'that you should come away with me for a week to the continent.'
Starting point is 00:06:46 "'Where?' "'Oh, anywhere. It's all the same to me. There was something very strange in all this. It was not Holmes's nature to take an aimless holiday, and something about his pale, worn face told me that his nerves were at their highest tension. He saw the question in my eyes,
Starting point is 00:07:08 and putting his fingertips together and his elbows upon his knees, he explained the situation. You have probably never heard of Professor Moriarty, said he. "'Never. Aye. There's the genius and the wonder of the thing,' he cried. "'The man pervades London, and no one has heard of him. That's what puts him on a pinnacle in the records of crime. I tell you Watson, in all seriousness, that if I could beat that man, if I could free society of him, I should feel that my own career had reached its summit, and I should be prepared to turn to some more placid line in life. between ourselves, the recent cases in which I have been of assistance to the royal family of Scandinavia and to the French Republic
Starting point is 00:08:01 have left me in such a position that I could continue to live in the quiet fashion which is most congenial to me and to concentrate my attention upon my chemical researches. But I could not rest, Watson, I could not sit quiet in my chair if I thought that such a man as Professor Moriarty were walking the streets of London unchallenged. What is he done then? His career has been an extraordinary one. He is a man of good birth and excellent education,
Starting point is 00:08:35 endowed by nature with a phenomenal mathematical faculty. At the age of 21, he wrote a treatise upon the binomial theorem, which has had a European vogue. On the strength of it, he won the mathematical chair at one of our smaller universities, and had, to all appearances, a most brilliant career before him. But the man had hereditary tendencies of the most diabolical kind. The criminal strain ran in his blood, which instead of being modified, was increased and rendered infinitely more dangerous by his
Starting point is 00:09:08 extraordinary mental powers. Dark rumours gathered round him in the university town, and eventually he was compelled to resign his chair, and to come down to London, where he set up. as an army coach. So much is known to the world, but what I am telling you now is what I have myself discovered. As you are aware, Watson, there is no one who knows the higher criminal world of London so well as I do. For years past, I have continually been conscious of some power behind the malefactor, some deep organising power which forever stands in the way of the law and throws its shield over the wrongdoer. Again and again in cases of the most varying sorts,
Starting point is 00:09:57 forgery cases, robberies, murders, I have felt the presence of this force, and I have deduced its action in many of those undiscovered crimes in which I have not been personally consulted. For years I have endeavoured to break through the veil which shrouded it, and at last the time came when I seized my thread and followed it, until it led me, after a thousand cunning windings, to ex-professor Moriarty of mathematical celebrity. He is the Napoleon of Crime, Watson.
Starting point is 00:10:31 He is the organiser of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order. He sits motionless, like a spy. in the center of its web. But that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them. He does little himself.
Starting point is 00:10:59 He only plans. But his agents are numerous and splendidly organized. Is there a crime to be done, a paper to be abstracted, we will say, a house to be rifled, a man to be removed? The word is passed to the professor, the matter is organized, and carried out. The agent may be caught.
Starting point is 00:11:22 In that case money is found for his bail or his defense, but the central power which uses the agent is never caught, never so much as suspected. This was the organization which I deduced Watson, and which I devoted my whole energy to exposing and breaking up. But the professor was fenced round with safeguard so cunningly devised that do what I would. seemed impossible to get evidence which would convict in a court of law. You know my powers, my dear Watson, and yet at the end of three months I was forced to confess that I had at last met an antagonist who was my intellectual equal.
Starting point is 00:12:08 My horror at his crimes was lost in my admiration at his skill. But at last he made a trip only a little, little trip, but it was more than he could afford when I was so close upon him. I had my chance, and, starting from that point, I have woven my net round him until now it is all ready to close. In three days, that is to say, on Monday next, matters will be ripe, and the professor, with all the principal members of his gang, will be in the hands of the police. Then will come the greatest criminal trial of the century, the clearing up of over-esquential. over forty mysteries, and the rope for all of them.
Starting point is 00:12:55 But if we move at all prematurely, you understand, they may slip out of our hands even at the last moment. Now, if I could have done this without the knowledge of Professor Moriarty, all would have been well. But he was too wily for that. He saw every step which I took to draw my coils round him. Again and again he strove to break away, but I as often headed him off. I tell you, my friend, that if a detailed account of that silent contest could be written,
Starting point is 00:13:22 it would take its place as the most brilliant bit of thrust and parry work in the history of detection. Never have I risen to such a height, and never have I been so hard-pressed by an opponent. He cut deep, and yet I just undercut him. This episode is brought to you by Tell Us Online Security. Oh, tag season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms, but I've got TELUS online security.
Starting point is 00:13:58 It helps protect against identity theft and financial fraud, so I can stress less during tax season, or any season. Plan started just $12 a month. Learn more at tellus.com slash online security. No one can prevent all cybercrime or identity theft. Conditions apply. This morning, the last steps were taken, and three days only were wanted to complete the business. I was sitting in my room thinking the matter over. when the door opened, and Professor Moriarty stood before me.
Starting point is 00:14:35 My nerves are fairly proof, Watson, but I must confess to a start when I saw the very man who had been so much in my thoughts standing there on my threshold. His appearance was quite familiar to me. He is extremely tall and thin, his forehead domes out in a white curve, and his two eyes are deeply sunken in his head. He is clean-shaven, pale and ascetic-looking, retaining something of the professor in his features. His shoulders are rounded from much study, and his face protrudes forward, and is forever slowly oscillating from side to side in a curiously reptilian fashion.
Starting point is 00:15:18 He peered at me with great curiosity in his puckered eyes. You have less frontal development than I should have expected. said he at last. It is a dangerous habit to finger-loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing-gown. The fact is that upon his entrance I had instantly recognized the extreme personal danger in which I lay. The only conceivable escape for him lay in silencing my tongue. In an instant I had slipped the revolver from the drawer into my pocket and was covering him through the cloth. At his remark I drew the weapon out and laid it cocked upon the table.
Starting point is 00:16:05 He still smiled and blinked, but there was something about his eyes which made me feel very glad that I had it there. You evidently don't know me, said he. On the contrary, I answered. I think it is fairly evident that I do. Pray take a chair. I can spare you five minutes, if you have anything to. say? All that I have to say has already crossed your mind, said he.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Then possibly my answer has crossed yours, I replied. You stand fast? Absolutely. He clapped his hand into his pocket, and I raised the pistol from the table. But he merely drew out a memorandum book in which he had scribbled some dates. You crossed my path on the 4th of January, said he. On the 23rd, you incommoded me. By the middle of February, I was seriously inconvenienced by you.
Starting point is 00:17:10 At the end of March, I was absolutely hampered in my plans, and now, at the close of April, I find myself placed in such a position through your continual persecution that I am in positive danger of losing my liberty. the situation is becoming an impossible one. Have you any suggestion to make? I asked. You must drop it, Mr. Holmes, said he, swaying his face about. You really must, you know.
Starting point is 00:17:52 After Monday, said I, tut-tut, said he, I am quite sure that a man of your intelligence will see that there can be but one outcome to this affair. It is necessary that you should withdraw. You have worked things in such a fashion that we have only one resource left. It has been an intellectual treat to me to see the way in which you have grappled with this affair, and I say, unaffectedly, that it would be a grief to me to be forced to take any extreme. measure. You smile, sir, but I assure you that it really would. Danger is part of my trade, I remarked.
Starting point is 00:18:39 That is not danger, said he. It is inevitable destruction. You stand in the way not merely of an individual, but of a mighty organization, the full extent of which you, with all your cleverness, have been unable to realize. You must stand clear, Mr. Holmes, or be trodden underfoot. I am afraid, said I, rising, that in the pleasure of this conversation, I am neglecting business of importance which awaits me elsewhere. He rose also, and looked at me in silence, shaking his head, sadly.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Well, well, said he at last. It seems a pity, but I have done what I could. I know every move of your game. You can do nothing before Monday. It has been a duel between you and me, Mr. Holmes. You hope to place me in the dock. I tell you that I will never stand in the dock. You hope to beat me.
Starting point is 00:19:51 I tell you that you will never beat me. If you are clever enough to bring destruction upon me, rest assured that I shall do as much to you. You have paid me several compliments, Mr. Moriarty, said I. Let me pay you one in return when I say that if I were assured of the former eventuality, I would, in the interests of the public, cheerfully accept the latter.
Starting point is 00:20:26 But not the other, he snarled, and so turned his rounded back upon me, and went peering and blinking out of the room. That was my singular interview with Professor Moriarty. I confess that it left an unpleasant effect upon my mind. His soft, precise fashion of speech leaves a conviction of sincerity which a mere bully could not produce. Of course you will say, why not take police precautions against him? The reason is that I am well convinced that it is, that it is, is from his agents, the blow will fall. I have the best proofs that it would be so. You have already been assaulted? My dear Watson, Professor Moriarty is not a man who lets the grass grow under
Starting point is 00:21:12 his feet. I went out about midday to transact some business in Oxford Street. As I passed the corner which leads from Bentink Street onto the Welbeck Street crossing, a two-horse van furiously driven whizzed round and was on me like a flash. I sprang for the footpath and saved myself by the fraction of a second. The van dashed round by Marliban Lane and was gone in an instant. I kept to the pavement after that, Watson, but as I walked down Veer Street, a brick came down from the roof of one of the houses and was shattered to fragments at my feet.
Starting point is 00:21:48 I called the police and had the place examined. There were slates and bricks piled up on the roof preparatory to some repairs, and they would have me believe that the wind had toppled over. over one of these. Of course, I knew better, which I could prove nothing. I took a cab after that and reached my brother's rooms in Palmao, where I spent the day. Now I have come round to you, and on my way I was attacked by a ruff with a bludger. I knocked him down and the police have him in custody. But I can tell you with the most absolute confidence that no possible connection will ever be traced between the gentleman upon whose front teeth I have barked my
Starting point is 00:22:29 knuckles and the retiring mathematical coach, who is, I dare say, working out problems upon a blackboard ten miles away. You will not wonder, Watson, that my first act on entering your rooms was to close your shutters, and that I have been compelled to ask your permission to leave the house by some less conspicuous exit than the front door. I had often admired my friend's courage, but never more than now, as he sat quietly checking off a series of incidents which must have combined to make up a day of horror. You will spend the night here, I said. No, my friend, you might find me a dangerous guest.
Starting point is 00:23:15 I have my plans laid, and all will be well. Matters have gone so far now that they can move without my help as far as the arrest goes, though my presence is necessary for a conviction. It is obvious, therefore, that I cannot do better than get away for the few days which remain before the police are at liberty to act. It would be a great pleasure to me, therefore, if you could come on to the continent with me. Well, the practice is quiet, said I, and I have an accommodating neighbour. I should be glad to come. And to start tomorrow morning? If necessary. Oh, yes, it is most necessary. Then these are your instructions,
Starting point is 00:23:56 and I beg, my dear Watson, that you will obey them to the letter, for you are now playing a double-handed game with me against the cleverest rogue and the most powerful syndicate of criminals in Europe. Now, listen, you will dispatch whatever luggage you intend to take by a trusty messenger unaddressed to Victoria tonight. In the morning, you will send for a handsome, desiring your man to take neither the first nor the second which may present itself. Into this handsome you will jump, and you will drive to the strand end of the Laotha Arcade, handing the address to the cabman upon a slip of paper, with a request that he will not throw it away. Have your fare ready, and the instant that your cab stops, dash through the arcade,
Starting point is 00:24:40 timing yourself to reach the other side at a quarter past nine. You will find a small brougham waiting close to the curb, driven by a fellow with a heavy black cloak tipped at the collar with red. Into this you will step, and you will reach Victoria in time for the Continental Express. Where shall I meet you? At the station, the second first-class carriage from the front would be reserved for us. The carriage is our rendezvous, then?
Starting point is 00:25:10 Yes. It was in vain that I asked Holmes to remain for the evening. It was evident to me that he thought he might bring trouble to the roof he was under, and that that was the motive which impelled him to go. With a few hurried words as to our plans for the morrow, he rose, and came out with me into the garden, clambering over the wall which leads into Mortimer Street, and immediately whistling for a hansom,
Starting point is 00:25:42 in which I heard him drive away. In the morning, I obeyed Holmes's injunctions to the letter. A hansom was procured with such precaution as would prevent its being one which was placed ready for us, and I drove immediately after breakfast to the Laothar arcade, through which I hurried at the top of my speed. A brougham was waiting with a very massive, driver wrapped in a dark cloth, who, the instant that I had stepped in, whipped up the horse
Starting point is 00:26:15 and rattled off to Victoria Station. On my alighting there, he turned the carriage and dashed away again without so much as a look in my direction. So far, all had gone admirably. My luggage was waiting for me, and I had no difficulty in finding the carriage which Holmes had indicated, the less so, as it was the only one in the train, which was marked, engaged. My only source of angrily. My only source of angrily, society now was the non-appearance of homes. The station clock marked only seven minutes from the time when we were due to start. In vain, I searched among the groups of travellers and leave-takers for the lithe figure of my friend. There was no sign of him. I spent a few minutes in assisting
Starting point is 00:26:57 a venerable Italian priest, who was endeavouring to make a porter understand in his broken English, that his luggage was to be booked through to Paris. Then, having taken another look round, I returned turned to my carriage, where I found that the porter, in spite of the ticket, had given me my decrepit Italian friend as a travelling companion. It was useless for me to explain to him that his presence was an intrusion, for my Italian was even more limited than his English, so I shrugged my shoulders resignedly, and continued to look out anxiously for my friend. A chill of fear had come over me, as I thought that his absence might mean that some blow had fallen during the night.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Already the doors had all been shut and a whistle blown when, my dear Watson, said a voice, you have not even condescended to say good morning. I turned in uncontrollable astonishment. The aged ecclesiastic had turned his face towards me. For an instant, the wrinkles were smoothed away, the nose drew away from the chin, the lower lip ceased to protrude and the mouth to mumble,
Starting point is 00:28:10 The dull eyes regained their fire, the drooping figure expanded. The next, the whole frame collapsed again, and Holmes had gone as quickly as he had come. Good heavens, I cried. How you startled me! Every precaution is still necessary, he whispered. I have reason to think that they are hot upon our trail. Ah, there is Moriarty himself. The train has been.
Starting point is 00:28:40 already begun to move as Holmes spoke. Glancing back, I saw a tall man pushing his way furiously through the crowd and waving his hand as if he desired to have the train stopped. It was too late, however, for we were rapidly gathering momentum, and an instant later had shot clear of the station. With all our precautions, you see that we have cut it rather fine, said Holmes, laughing. He rose, and throwing off the black cassock and hat which had formed his disguise, he packed them away in a handbag. Have you seen the morning paper, Watson? No. You haven't seen about Baker Street then?
Starting point is 00:29:22 Baker Street? They set fire to our rooms last night. No great harm was done. Good heavens, homes! This is intolerable. They must have lost my track completely after their bludgeon man was arrested. otherwise they could not have imagined that I had returned to my rooms. They have evidently taken the precaution of watching you, however, and that is what has brought Moriati to Victoria.
Starting point is 00:29:47 You could not have made any slip in coming? I did exactly what you advised. Did you find your broom? Yes, it was waiting. Did you recognise your coachman? No. It was my brother, Mike Croft. It is an advantage to get about in such a case without taking a mercenary into your
Starting point is 00:30:06 confidence, but we must plan what we are to do about Moriati now. As this is an express, and as the boat runs in connection with it, I should think we have shaken him off very effectively. My dear Watson, you evidently did not realize my meaning when I said that this man may be taken as being quite on the same intellectual plane as myself. You do not imagine that if I were the pursuer I should allow myself to be baffled by so slight an obstacle? Why then should you think so meanly of him? What will he do? What I should do? What would you do, then? Engage a special. But it must be late. By no means this train stops at
Starting point is 00:30:54 Canterbury, and there is always at least a quarter of an hour's delay at the boat. He will catch us there. One would think that we were the criminals. Let us have him arrested on his arrival. It would be to ruin the work of three months. We should get the big fish, but the smaller would dart right and left out of the net. On Monday, we should have them all. No, an arrest is inadmissible. What then? We shall get out at Canterbury.
Starting point is 00:31:25 And then? Well, then we must make a cross-country journey to New Haven, and so over to Diep. Moriarty will again do what I should do. he will get on to Paris, mark down our luggage, and wait for two days at the depot. In the meantime, we shall treat ourselves to a couple of carpet bags, encourage the manufacturers of the countries through which we travel, and make our way at our leisure, into Switzerland via Luxembourg and Basel. At Canterbury, therefore, we alighted,
Starting point is 00:31:59 only to find that we should have to wait an hour before we could get a train to New Haven. I was still looking rather ruefully after the rapidly disappearing lugubes, baggage van, which contained my wardrobe, when Holmes pulled my sleeve and pointed up the line. "'Already, you see,' said he, far away from among the Kentish woods there rose a thin spray of smoke. A minute later, a carriage and engine could be seen flying along the open curve which leads to the station. We had hardly time to take our place behind a pile of luggage when it passed with a rattle and a roar, beating a blast of hot air into our faces. There he goes, said Holmes,
Starting point is 00:32:42 as we watched the carriage swing and rock over the points. There are limits, you see, to our friend's intelligence. It would have been a coup deemetre, had he deduced what I would deduce and acted accordingly. And what would he have done had he overtaken us? There cannot be the least doubt that he would have made a murderous attack upon me. It is, however, a game at which two may play. The question now is whether we should take a premature lunch here or run our chance of starving before we reach the buffet at New Haven.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Next time, on Sherlock Holmes short stories, the adventure continues as Holmes and Watson arrive in Europe. Moriarty slips the net Holmes has set for him, and, at the summit of a raging Swiss waterfall, Holmes tackles the greatest mystery of all, that eternal, insoluble problem that all of us must face in the end. That's next time.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Can't wait a week until the next episode? Well, listen to it right away by subscribing to Noyser Plus. Head to www.org.org.com slash subscriptions for more information, or click the link in the episode description.

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