She's On The Money - Am I Being Too Rigid With Money? Plus, Dollar-Cost Averaging Tactics

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

Which school do you fall into? Karaoke-forward or karaoke-averse?  This week on Friday Drinks, Victoria, Bec and Jess are bringing you all the best Broke Tips and Money Wins from our community, plus money dilemmas that tread the investment line.  They’ll discuss the pros and cons of lumped contributions versus dollar-cost averaging and whether you can make a relationship work if you’ve got opposing money values. What should we put on our She’s on the Karaoke playlist? CANCEL YOUR SUBS: Another rogue $9.99 charge on your card? Can-it, with our blog to walk you through it all. Search ‘subscriptions’ over at www.shesonthemoney.com/blog INVESTMENT CALCULATOR: Here’s a link to the calculate V mentions on the pod, https://investcalc.github.io/ FREE INVESTMENT CHEAT SHEET: Grab your copy of our investment cheat sheet over here: www.shesonthemoney.com/download-resources New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett (nartarshabamblett.com.au) The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 4451289See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan. Mumu bangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing

you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello, my friends, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that makes your personal finances fun, especially on a Friday. The gang is back together for another edition of Friday Drinks where we gather to celebrate you, our clever She's On The Money community. I'm Victoria Devine and joining me this week is the winsome Miss Jessica Ricci with our community's best money wins and of course the benevolent Miss Bec Syed is here bracing broke tips galore. Welcome

my friends. We are also going to be covering some juicy money dilemmas, which seem to be rather investment coded this week. One community member slid into our DMs with, I would say, a concern about couples' money values, while another left us a voicemail devoted to dollar cost averaging and the best ways that we can do it. Do you fancy having your dilemma discussed on our podcast? Come on through, my friends. All you need to do is head to our podcast page on the she's on the money website, record a little punchy dilemma of your own and who knows, your query might just make the cut. Better yet, it might even help other listeners just like you work through their money woes. Now, wouldn't you know it, my friends, it is time for our

five-star review. Are you strapped in? Are you ready? Yes. Absolutely. The five-star review time is where we get to hear from our lovely listeners about the ways that they are finding financial independence and confidence with a little help from us and the show. This one comes from a friend called Amy who says, Hey guys, I am sure you get a million messages like these. Arguably not a million. We would like more, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for the advice you have given. I was going through some money problems recently caused by my own reckless spending and seriously considered taking out a personal loan as I was too embarrassed to ask for help. But in the process of applying for it, there was a little voice in the back of my head that sounded

suspiciously like you guys telling me to check out other options first luckily i'm extremely fortunate and was able to get my parents to reduce my board for a couple of months while i sought my stuff out it was definitely the wake-up call that i needed and i cannot thank you guys enough for playing a part in it oh i love the idea that we're like the little sound on your shoulder like don't do this yes like the fairly odd parents like we're just like a bit how you going fairies be like, don't do that. Yeah. Oh, that's gorgeous because it really is a slippery slope. So I'm really glad that you didn't. Proud of you. And thank you so much. I love that. Amy, it sounds like our voices are maybe living a little bit rent free in your head or maybe we

should start paying you board. We are so proud of you exploring your options and honestly finding a way out because there's always another option. If we've taught you anything interesting about your finances or how to make your dollars go a little bit further, please let us know by leaving a five-star review for she's on the money on apple podcast spotify or honestly wherever you tune in we take them in our dms i take them in my dms i will take carrier pigeon literally anything all right jessica ricci are you buckled in and are you ready i am question of the week time and this one might call for a little bit of acapella okay sue wants to know what's your karaoke song and do you have matching dance moves?

Oh, my goodness. I fear I avoid karaoke. I don't think I've been in my adult life. Really? I just feel like you're a karaoke girl. No, no, no. This is my worst nightmare because I cannot even carry a tune and my social anxiety, all these people looking at me.

No, like I can't. I would literally need to be even hammered. I don't think you could convince me to get on that stage. But if we were to convince you to get on the stage, what song would you be most comfortable singing? Oh, I'm going to belt out some T-Swift. Like put on any of the discography, preferably something offbeat, you know, maybe like Paper Rings or something fun like that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit of Reputation perhaps. But, yeah. We can't convince you to do the dance moves, can we? Not a chance. Not a chance in hell. That's crazy. I feel like you're the exact opposite.

I love it. I saw that coming, Amelia. But I thought you would say, yeah, I love karaoke. It's really fun. I will support. I will cheer. I will woo girl people. Like, I'll go to karaoke.

Yeah, but you are such a woo girl. I'm not participating. Okay, all right. I feel like you'll move your shoulders. I'll do a little shoot. I'll be dancing on the sidelines. I feel like you're the friends that would be singing on the sidelines, but don't give you the microphone.

Yeah, that's a fair assessment. Because, like, at the Taylor Swift concert, we were screaming. That's true. Like every single lyric, we were screaming them. Like it's not like you were scared of being heard, Jess. It's just if everyone, no one's looking at me. They're looking at Taylor, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If everyone's looking at me, that's when it's a problem. It's about being perceived. But you want to sing. 100%. You want to sing, you want to move. She wants to be a karaoke girlie. I get that. I get that.

I get that. So maybe alone in your home. I get you. How do I whittle it down? So definitely. I love that there's options. There's so many. So special to Miss Higgins, obviously.

Of course. Dreams, Gabrielle. Dreams can come true. Oh, she's even got the sound. And then I know this is like, you know, maybe ethically ambiguous, but I really love. Ethically ambiguous. I like that.

I love human nature, Michael Jackson. No, sorry. Sorry, we don't need to. I know. And I'm trying to wean myself off. Oh, no, no, no. Like we can keep them. Sorry, they live in our past.

That's it. They live in our past. Or Michael Jackson, you know. Just a bit like questionable in terms of his decision making. But at the same time, I think he's not here anymore. So if you like his music, Pop Off Queen. Those are my three main ones. Okay.

And then there's so many more. I feel like Man in the Mirror would be something that you would be like all over. Actually, I wouldn't mind that. But I don't know if I can. You could. Maybe I could. I trust you. The register change.

Yeah, exactly. And what about you? Oh, my God. I don't know. I feel so stumped. Like Jess, love a microphone. Put it in front of me. Do not make me sing.

I can't sing. My toddler the other day, mommy, stop. Mortifying. Mortifying. I was just like singing and he goes, like, I'm holding my toddler, cradling him. And like for his entire life, I've sung to him while he's like going to sleep. You know, not every time, but sometimes. And he puts his fingers over my mouth and goes, mommy, stop.

honestly fair fair so yeah I'm not a karaoke girly but if I was going to it would be a song that I know really well like TLC Waterfalls oh yeah okay like I even know the rap part which I think is so funny because it doesn't suit my personality at all I wouldn't have picked it for you but I can see it it's really fun or like a Natasha Bedingfield unwritten or something like something Being really, honestly, the tackier the better. Yeah, hell yeah. So that's where I would be. We are not, just to be very clear, we are not going to be hosting a She's on the Money

karaoke event. It's not happening. I'm not comfortable with it. Jess isn't comfortable with it. But Beck might do a side quest. I could see that in your future for sure. Oh my God. She hosts trivia next up, karaoke.

She's on the money branded karaoke. I'll be there to support. I'll be there to support. I will be there. Do not make me sing. Like, I just can't get over the fact that I can't sing. You don't need to worry about that part. On the inside, I feel like I should be a good singer

and it really upsets me. I know. You're saying, like, I should be a good singer. I am not. Like, what comes out of my mouth in the car is not what you would hear. Like, I think it's way better than what it is in reality. And then you turn the radio down because you're like, am I hitting those notes?

And you're like, wait, no, that was the song. No, I'm just enjoying the song. Totally. And I would like to live in that state of delusion. I don't need people with cameras being able to capture those moments. Yeah, I understand. I agree. So if you ever think about Jess or I doing karaoke, just know we're amazing at it and

we wouldn't want you to feel bad about your karaoke ability. So we would never get up on that stage. Well, that's fair. We're just really thoughtful, aren't we, Jess? I couldn't agree more. All right, guys, if you've got an excellent question for the pod, send it on through to us. As you've heard, it does not have to be money-related,

but maybe our She's on the Karaoke playlist should be. Like we should make one of those. Oh, my God, we should. We should. Yeah, absolutely. Are you ready for more community money wins? Miss Jessica Ricci, please tell me, what has our community been up to on the money win front this week?

Firstly, Sharon has said money win. I've paid off my afterpay, I've closed the account, and I've deleted the app. Oh, amazing. Lots of people getting around her. You'll love to see it. Hell yeah. Then I've got a money win from Sammy who said,

I just hit 250 sessions at my gym and they gave me a $100 Alice Katie voucher. Great. Alice Katie also had free shipping and a 10% discount, so I got some new leggings for free. Oh my God, amazing. Love that your gym celebrates that. That's awesome. Next, I've got a money win from Chantel who said, it's actually a money loss, but a memory win. I took my daughter out for a bike ride on the weekend and we had breakfast at a local cafe

and I then doubled down because the weather was beautiful and we walked to our local bowling club and enjoyed a drink and some nibbles outside while we played Uno. I normally wouldn't spend $50 in one, you know, morning eating and drinking out, but making memories is absolutely worth it. That's very true. And that sounded just so wholesome to me, like the Uno in the sunshine, little breakfast together. The dream.

Sometimes it's money well spent. Then I've got one from Tara who said my vacuum mop broke and I needed to get a new one. I went into JB Hi-Fi to look for the Dyson Wash G1, which they had listed for $9.99. I then went online and Maya had them on sale for $395 and JB Hi-Fi price match. So I saved $600. I have that Dyson mop. I paid $1,000 for it. I will say it was worth every penny.

But if you can buy it for $395 instead of $1,000. That's phenomenal value. That's a steal. Great deal. And oh, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I love it so much. I haven't tried the Dyson one. I have the, what have I got?

I've got the Bissell. Yeah. And I love her. But she's like on a cord. Yeah. So I want like a cordless one because I'm not going to lie, it's incredibly like good. Yeah.

But the idea that I have to lug it out, plug it in, do the cord thing. No, the Dyson one's really good. The battery is like an hour, I'm pretty sure, on it, which is like enough for me to do my house. That's good. Yeah. And it's so satisfying for anyone who hasn't seen it. It mops and vacuums at the same time.

So if you've got pets, like there's always pet hair on my floor, no matter how much I run the robo vac. So it's good because it doesn't block them up. But then there's two little canisters, one for clean water that goes on the floor as you mop. And it sucks it back up, which is good if you've got floorboards. But also you can see the dirty water in a separate dirty water pool. Oh, it's so satisfying. My Bissell does that as well.

Really satisfying. Also, why do I mop the floor and then go, oh, I'll just do a quick once over of the kitchen again? Because I don't know why. I feel like the kitchen needs doing twice for some reason. I get that. Like it just does. And then the mop water is dirty again. And I'm like, how dirty is this house?

I've literally just cleaned it. I don't understand. I know, mopping till it's clear is... Oh, that would feel good. It feels so good. Not in this house. Next, I've got a money win from Grace who said, I didn't buy one single work lunch last week.

Okay, I can't. Very good, Grace. Jasmine said, I bought two new books and I got them from Marketplace. It was $5 for both, which is a bargain if ever I've heard one. And then lastly, I've got a money win from Erin who said, we were in the city for Vivid with our two kids And my five-year-old was insisting on getting a big pretzel, which is like those vendor hot pretzels.

Another five-year-old's page. They're so good. Couldn't find them, she said, unfortunately. But today she went to Aldi, picked up a box of six frozen ones, six bucks. Sorry, you can get giant frozen pretzels at Aldi. I've had them before. They're very good. I like the pretzel.

I've had the pretzel sticks. I don't know if they do the twisty ones. Pop them in the air fryer. Stop it. A little bit of mold and salt. Okay. Delicious. I didn't know this existed.

Like, I want to go to Aldi ASAP. I'm not pregnant, but that feels like a pregnancy craving. Like, in my head, I'm like, oh, yes. Also, Jess, I just saw on Instagram, and I tagged you on Instagram, in a picture of a pink air fryer. I need it. Ninja. Oh, you need it.

Ninja has a pink air fryer. I must have it. I literally did. Like, don't tell anybody. But while Jess was opening her phone, I saw her and tagged her while we were recording the episode, and I was like, she needs to see this. I mean, isn't it cute?

It's like a light pink. Oh, that's cute. Oh, now that's cute. Sorry, sorry. Jess is building a house. Yeah, you've got to have that. And Jess has a new kitchen and nobody else has seen the cabinetry in her kitchen yet because she hasn't posted it,

but I made her send me pictures of her cabinetry in her kitchen and I just know that it needs a pink air fryer. It'll look really cute. I'm so excited to see this. Oh, don't even. It is the most exciting thing ever. All right, let's move on. Yes.

Bec, I don't know if you can get better than $6 for six frozen pretzels, but I feel like you often do top it. Well, I'm going to get pretty close, I'd tell you that. What are you bringing to the table, my friend? So, well, actually, first of all, pretzel, I always get confused by them. So the small ones, crispy, always like a chip. Large pretzel, like a bread, would you say? Yes, yeah, like a soft, bready texture.

Understood. Like a crispy outside. And they are fantastic negotiating tools. for toddlers yes my kid will do so much for a pretzel yeah hell yeah okay same though i gotta get on these big pretzels i'm gonna get the big pretzels i'll report back thank you okay first broke tip i have from the community is from christy who says go to bunnings they do free kids crafts often on a sunday they have an indoor playground plus they have party pies and sausage rolls for the kids so you don't have to buy big ones it's a great option for a rainy day it is

actually so good. I didn't know there was free food. This next one comes from Stacey, who says, if there's something you desperately want to watch on Prime and you're a binge it all in one or two nights kind of person, sign up, watch the show, cancel the membership, and you can opt to have the remainder of your month's fee refunded versus paying for a whole month, which is a great idea. I didn't even know that. Movies and stuff like that as well. So I think that's so good. And I know this is really lazy of me, but it did remind me that this is something I want to tell freelancers or anyone who needs Adobe to like make money or just whatever you use it for. Adobe does this same thing. So if you sign up for a month to month, not an annual subscription, you can say

you have to cut up a video for a client or whatever you need to do. If you sign up, unfortunately, you do have to pay the full amount upfront, but then try and get your work done in one or two days and then you cancel and you can opt for a refund. Like pro-rated. Pro-rated. It's like two days off or whatever. It's like still like a hefty chunk. You're really not paying that much. So I think this is a great reminder. I think I said it recently on a podcast that I've just been threatening all my subscriptions recently. Like I just go in and threaten to cancel. Like I like go into the account, hit cancel and see if like a retention thing comes up. And if it does, I'm like, thank you. I'll be taking that discount. And if it doesn't pop up, I'm like, I didn't mean it.

And I like exit because like there are some subscriptions that I do want to keep. But like, I also want a discount. So. Totally. I just got through three months of free Adobe. I'm obsessed with Adobe this morning. Because it's the same thing. I'm obsessed with how creative I feel like you are consistently. It's really impressive. While you guys hear a little word from our sponsors, we're going to be plotting ways to be more creative with our money. So guys, don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money,

career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi, she's on the money team. I have a question about dollar cost averaging in investing. I have worked out that I can invest about $1,000 every six months. I could invest that in smaller portions over the course of the six months, but I have been investing it as $1,000 lump sum essentially every six months. I'm investing with Perla and the brokerage fee is $6.50. So the way that I thought about it was that that was a good percentage of the investment. But I keep hearing about dollar cost averaging, and I'm essentially wondering whether I should

be doing this differently, whether I should be investing more frequently every fortnight or every month, or whether this is a good way to go. I'd love your advice and thoughts about this. Thank you. What do you reckon, Bec? What would you do? Yes, I had never thought about that. So I guess like if you're investing once every like six months or whatever, then you would hope that on the day that you invest, the investment is low. But if you invested every day or like every few days or every few weeks, then your chances of getting like some lower price, some higher price, is that what that is? Dollar cost averaging? Yeah. So the idea of dollar cost averaging is that you make more frequent purchases. So statistically speaking, you're more likely to hit an average of

market. Whereas our listener, for example, if she's buying once every six months, she's purchasing twice in a year. So statistically speaking, the chances of the market being in a positive spot are less likely. Whereas if you were to purchase more regularly, the idea would be that sometimes you buy it, it's high. Sometimes you buy it, it's low and that it averages out. So you're kind of in the middle of the market, if that makes sense across the board. And I guess the downside is that I believe it's $6.50 every time. Per transaction. Per transaction.

That seems like a hefty fee. I don't know. It's going to vary. Yeah. I would like try and do it like consistently or like, you know, shorter times in between. Personally, but I've come with receipts. Okay. Tell us more.

Okay. So she gave me enough information that I could put this into an online investment frequency calculator, which helps you understand what frequency would be the best strategy for your money. Now, this is obviously not financial advice, as in I'm going to give a piece of financial advice, but it's not specific to you. And the way that I see it is you might choose to not invest this way just purely because it's your habits and you're trying to go, no, V, I really want to invest on a monthly basis or no, V, I really want it to go into the market every two months. That's very different because if you're saying, I will feel more committed because

I'm investing regularly and I get to play with it more often, therefore I'm contributing more, that's probably a really good thing for you. But there is a website and I'll make sure it's in the show notes. It's investcalc.github.io. And I have used this a few times. It's not owned by any of the banks or any of the investing platforms, which I kind of like, and it's just an investment frequency calculator. So you've just got to take it as you will. And what it will do is it will take your investment frequency, your savings per month, your interest rate that you might get on your savings, your expected investment returns, and then your brokerage per investment. And it tells you how often investing would be optimal for you, right? So for this

example, our friend, she's saying I have $1,000 every six months. So we could probably assume that she's saving about $166.66 per month, right? That makes two grand to you. I popped that in. So I said, every month she's got $166.66. Interest rate on savings today, a good savings account, you could get around 5%. So this is just a point in time thing. So I have put 5% in the interest rate on savings. The expected investment returns. Again, we know that since inception, the average rate of the Australian share market's return has been 13%, but I've put nine because I feel like that seems to be what a lot of ETFs and a lot of investments have been returning over the last 30 years. I've then gone and looked up Perla's brokerage fee and on average per investment,

it's $6.50 for Perla. So with all of that, this calculator has spat out and I'll again, make sure that this link is in the show notes so you can do your own calculations and make your own decisions. But the optimal investment strategy apparently is investing $837 once every five months. Interesting. Yep. And this amount includes the brokerage fee and $7 interest. So it says that if you were to invest every single month over, let me just get my laptop because I want specific numbers for you guys. It says here that if you were to invest, so this is over 10 years. So this calculator goes, all right, well, if you were investing consistently for 10 years and you invested the 166 every single month, your investment portfolio would be worth about

$30,200. If you were to invest every three months, it would be worth $31,000. If you were to invest every five months, it would be worth $31,100. And if you were to invest every 10 months, it drops back down to just under $31,000. So like, as you guys can see, like there's not heaps of difference. And obviously this is just like a, here's the maths. And just because the maths maths doesn't mean it's the best situation for you, but that's really interesting. And I find it a really good way of making decisions because obviously when you have brokerage, you're spending $6.50 just to get your money into the market. And that stuff adds up. Like if you're spending $6.50 every single month, that money could have gone into your investment

portfolio instead. So we do need to be really aware of how often we're investing. And I do think that there's this really big misconception that when we say, and when I say we, when the market says invest consistently over the long term, it means every week or every month. It doesn't actually mean that. It just means be consistent with your contributions to your investment portfolio. And every five months you might go, V, that doesn't make sense. Like that feels like a long period of time. Well, it's actually not because our plan is to be investing for 30, 40, 50, maybe 60 years. So if we're doing that every five months, it's actually very consistent. We just need to commit to that. And it's a bit harder to feel that commitment when

you're like, oh, it's just my savings sitting over there. I haven't invested them. But like, you know, we're making interest on our savings because obviously we'd have a high interest savings account while everything's banking up. And then we make an investment decision that makes sense for us. It's worth remembering that five months isn't a rule of thumb for everyone that's based on this specific. And that's where I'm like, I just want to be very clear. This is the calculator. I'm putting it in the link. Like that's not me saying, please do this. That's absolutely not advice. But it's, hey, look at what this specific example spat out, because it's not what you would have expected especially because the narrative is so often

invest every single month Jess it's a good idea like let's just do our check-in sounds like she was doing she was on the right track for sure I feel like she is on the right track right she said I'm investing a thousand dollars every six months that seems pretty close yeah bang on perfect you do you boo absolutely anyway that was really fun I could keep talking about dollar cost averaging forever, which I think you guys know. Let's move on to our DM of the week. This DM concerns the values behind our investments. I'm just so excited about this week's topics, specifically how our values might differ if we're in a relationship. So this community member messaged us and said, hi, Victoria, Jess and Beck. I have a dilemma that's been eating away at me. And you just

know it is because there were five exclamation marks after this. My partner and I have completely different approaches to money. I'm a planner and love having savings while he believes money is just there to be enjoyed. Recently, I've started feeling resentful because I'm saying no to dinners, weekends away and shopping so that I can hit my goals while he's spending freely and still expects us to split everything evenly. We don't combine finances, but his choices are starting to impact mine. Am I being too rigid with my money or is this something that we need to have a bigger conversation about? I think we've answered a question like this before. Totally. And like, that's just telling us, or I think it's just telling us, girl, you're not alone. This is

consistent. It's like the yin and yang. Yeah, for sure. I think, God, and I've had a lot of these discussions recently. For some reason, it's popping up at the moment in my world. But I think that like money and just everything, like the way you're brought up with money, like we all know like it's not just something we inherently have like it's not like you can you know you either have empathy or you don't have empathy it's like money is not a part of human biology whatever and so it's like makes sense that we have to like learn what our relationship is with this foreign object some people are really good at making sure that they're getting the best deal in every way and my brain personally doesn't work like that and some people's

does and some people don't. It just really depends on the way your brain works and also the way you were brought up, I suppose. But I think like even then, it's a situation that money is very important to you. Money is not very important to your partner or it is, but in this way where it's like it should be used for joy and pleasure and all these things, which I understand because I'm on the same wavelength. I think that we should be enjoying the fruits of our labor every day in every way. But I think that there is certainly a really nice middle ground it doesn't have to be super frugal or just like splurge all the time but I think as long as your partner knows why it's important to you and what that looks like and you as well

understanding their point of view as well I think you can come to a nice middle ground where you're maybe like hey let's save this amount of money or if you want to go out and splurge then we can do that but I won't be financially contributing because sometimes you just want like someone to go with you want to be able to go to the movies or go to a fancy restaurant but you don't want to go alone so if your partner's like i'll pay for it cool go enjoy the fruits of their labor but i think that there is a middle ground and you can reach that just having a big conversation about it all and it sounds a lot like it's about mindset like your mindset where you're like no you should always like just enjoy the fruits of your labor and like then i look at jess and my

money mindset in comparison to yours? And I go, well, Bec, my money mindset is that by doing that, you're stealing from future you. And like, I'm making my life harder for future me to enjoy things that are bigger and better. And I think it's about instant and delayed gratification. And that's why getting into it is really helpful. Jess, what would you do? I think like there's two ways it can go. I think either you sit down, you have the conversation, and you reach that middle ground and you find compromise. Or I think like it is pragmatic to talk about the fact that it may just be a point of difference that is too significant. I think your relationship with money, I would equate it to like a personal value. You know, sometimes you

meet people and you go, we click on so many levels, we have so much in common, but politically our opinions really differ or, you know, our core values when it comes to the way that we move in the world are very different. And that can sometimes be just a mountain that is too high to overcome. I think it's important to acknowledge that because if you are someone who is in a relationship and you're getting resentful, like that, I think that's quite a dangerous emotion to be feeling. So if you haven't already, addressing it is super important and saying, hey, this is how I'm feeling. This is how you're feeling. Is there a middle ground? What does that look like but also if you really want to live your life one way and your partner really wants

to live their life another way it is also worth looking at critically and thinking well what are the implications long term true because if you're going to be with someone for the rest of your lives and those things don't align it can be a really uncomfortable situation and like emotionally that can take a toll resent is a really negative feeling and resent then grows into all of these other types of emotions it can become anger it can become you know all those things that then drive a wedge between what I'm sure started out as a very wonderful and loving relationship and so it is I think like yes in an ideal world we are finding a middle ground and we're both talking and we're going oh like we can do what everybody wants but I also just wanted to say like sometimes

like you just don't align with the person you're with on key things yeah and I personally think money is one of those key things where if you can't find a way to make it work, that is also okay. And you maybe will need to look at other options, which is, I feel like that's a really aggressive thing to say to someone. I don't have single friends, Jess. Is that what you're suggesting? You just decided I'm going to be a matchmaker. I'll find you a new man. Yeah. I think that you're being harsh on yourself. I do not think that you are being too rigid for having goals. I think that having goals is really important. And we know just from a research perspective that having goals means that you're a happier person. Incredible. But I think that

you're now starting to feel like the fun police, like you're feeling that resentment. And as you said before, Jess, it's not a good emotion to feel. But for me, resentment is a little alarm bell that should be telling you, hey, this arrangement doesn't feel fair anymore. Like there is some type of discrepancy in that relationship and you're not going to be surprised Jess what is it what do you think I'm gonna say is the key here could it be communication but I really would sit down with him and you know not when you're annoyed like just when you are starting to go all right I want to sit down and have a big proper conversation and like frame it less as you're spending too much and you're not doing what I'm doing but more like I've realized

that we have very different approaches to money and I'm starting to feel a little bit resentful of that because you know I'm trying really hard to achieve these goals which I feel like you're benefiting from but then you're not actually contributing to those bigger goals and you're just yellowing life and you know I'm making all these sacrifices while also feeling like I'm being expected to keep up with spending that doesn't align to those sacrifices that I'm making and I just I don't want this to become a bigger issue like I want to be on the same page are we not working towards the same future and yeah I would then get really specific I love a smart goal but I also love that as a solution conversation does that make sense like I love using a smart goal

and what does smart stand for Bec? Solution mate. We mentioned smart goals on a Friday episode we did without you and me and Bec trying to fumble through what each letter stood for was so funny something like solo oh dear god in my book i wrote about sotm goals instead of smart goals because i feel like sotm goals like hit the mark a little bit better for our community so that's about being specific the o s o yeah sotm i was like how we do spell o is actually about being optimistic because i don't think that you can set a goal that you're not positive about like if you're setting a goal and you don't feel good get rid of it t is timely and then m is measurable so it's about putting a framework around something so just asking hey what are your savings goals to

your partner they might go I've got none be like oh well let's backtrack what do you want to achieve like five years from now what experiences do you want to have had what you know things do you want to own instead of going oh why no goal which honestly feels so hard like that's like saying how much water is in the ocean. You know, I don't know, like that's not going to work for me. But if I said to you, Bec, hey, like in five years, like what are some things that you want to say that you've done? Like we could probably start working towards creating some goals together. And then, you know, what lifestyle spending can you comfortably say no to? Like, are there some things that we could get rid of that, you know, could become savings? And they might go, no,

none you go well how do we have compromise because everything in life is about compromise if we want a bigger thing later we've got to give up a smaller thing now and that can be really hard because the smaller things they're good yeah have you ever had an almond croissant be so for real but like a real fresh one that's the small thing it is hard to give up I get it like walking past the bakery and I've just pulled them out like I'm not saying oh giving up small things is just so easy like we do have to acknowledge that it's going to be challenging because it's a lifestyle shift but like what can we give up now for a bigger better one later whether that is a house whether that is even just food like it could be hey I'm gonna budget my groceries a lot stricter

and I'm not gonna do all the nice dinners that I really love like if you love having salmon every night well I get it you're like well it's not that bad because I get it at the supermarket and cook at myself. Okay. But maybe instead of having the bougie weeknight dinners, we have some like pretty staple basics. Then we actually have in the budget some money to go out on the weekend with, and we don't feel guilty because we're not compromising our lifestyle. Anyway, I just think there's a lot of conversation to be had and you're not being too rigid. You're being intentional. And I think that a conversation and good communication is what you need to have right now because resentment honestly becomes a whole third person in your relationship like it just

becomes a whole thing absolutely like if you resent someone like oh it's just a whole other emotion that you just don't need yeah well that's my opinion anyway what did everybody else say oh they were spicy so the first question I asked the community was have you ever felt like a partner's financial habits were impacting your own goals my friends you are not alone 68% of you said yes The next question I asked was, should a higher spender contribute more towards shared lifestyle costs? So I found this interesting. 24% of you said yes. Only 24?

12% said no. And then 64% said, well, it actually depends what the expense is. That's fair. I thought that was fair too. The next question we asked was, do you think couples need to have similar money values for a relationship to work? 83% of you said yes. And then I said, all right, what is your two cents? A lot of people had the same conversation as us, communication, talk to them.

So I've just wiped all of those comments out because like we can only say it so many times. First person said, being together, my partner's actually matured. We split on income percentage and his fund money is just his. Someone else said, are you confusing our goals with your goals? Do you even want the same things in life? Which again, is like a bigger conversation around, you know, it's okay to have different goals. It's okay to be different people. I think you need to be, but if you're going two different places, sometimes that doesn't always work.

Yeah. Someone else said you need to sit him down and talk about a shared budget, even though you don't have shared savings, it's important to be on the same page, which I think is true. Like even before I shared money with Steve, we had sat down and talked about budgeting and talked about where we were allocating our income. Like I knew what his budget looked like, even though I didn't have access or didn't spend any of his money. And we didn't even have a shared account because we didn't need one at that point. And I think you were like this too, Jess, where we didn't need a shared account for rent or anything because we just told our rental company, oh, I do 50, he does 50. And then it would just get taken out

of our respective bank accounts each month. Yeah. When we moved in together, we have a shared account for like groceries and stuff but everything else we pretty much keep separate it's our own money yeah see everyone's different we didn't do that I would do groceries and stuff and then he would pay for fixed bills and like it would kind of all come out in the wash it's just again if one of you was like if me or my partner one of us was happy and one of us wasn't then you go oh god nightmare right yeah exactly becomes a problem and thankfully we've always like been on the same page but there's been people I've dated like prior to being married and obviously but like that I've been on very different pages with and even operated with them differently.

Like I was in a relationship before Steve for a very long time. Even that situation was completely different again. So it's not even just like, that's how Victoria operates. It's like every relationship is different. Someone else said, we have two children and a mortgage and just contribute an equal amount to shared expenses. My husband and I have been together for eight years and we still don't share money because I think he spends too much. It works really well for us and there's no guilt. And then I can actually buy what I want and set goals that are just for me. There you go. That's good. I kind of like that. Definitely. But you need to sit down and go, okay, cool. Because if you're not living together and they are kind of just

like spending money willy nilly, it's not really up to you. Different story again. Different story. But if you're living together and you're like, well, these are our goals. This is what we're achieving. Yeah. Anyway, another person said, I don't actually think this is an issue if they can afford their lifestyle and can meet their savings goals. Another person said, I really think that you need to be spending on a budget, anything falling outside of this, and they want to do with you. They have to front the upfront cost. And then this one's like maybe stroking my ego a little bit, and this is where I'm going to end it. They said, until I found your podcast, I was the highest spender and I was the one who had my head in the sand, had no idea that it was

even a problem. Financial education changed that for me. Gorgeous. All I'm saying is maybe say to your partner, I got a podcast you're going to love. And maybe it'll solve all your problems. And you know what? If they don't love it, you can still stay. Do not worry. All right. Well, my friends, when it comes to money chats, I don't think that there is any time like the present. And I'm afraid that's all we have time for today. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please rate us wherever you get your podcasts. It does the algorithm thing. I don't know what the algorithm thing is, but I've heard it is good for the algorithm thing. And the algorithm thing means that more people and more ears get to listen to us. Or you can rate us the

old fashioned way, which is by telling your friends. So thank you for joining us on your morning commutes, maybe your desk lunch or your hot girl walk. And we will see you bright and early on Monday morning for a money diary. We appreciate you. We love you. Have the best weekend guys bye bye guys bye the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.

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