She's On The Money - Are You A Smoother Or A Scruncher?

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

It's a very good Friday indeed so join the gals to celebrate your Money Wins (and losses), and answer a Money Dilemma about the best way to keep track of your records for tax time. Plus in Easter news - we ask the BIG question, are you a smoother OR a scruncher? And, this week you slid into our DMs about group gifts. How do you and your friends manage gifting? Is it even split, single gifts or no gifts at all? Are some people seeking kudos if they splash more cash? Listen in as the girls breakdown the group dynamics of gift giving. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my loves, it is Friday, which means it is time to get our team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, we're going to be sharing our favorite money wins. Well, that's actually Jessica Rycki's job. Hello. We're going to be helping answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about how to record information on your tax return. And we're going to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMs about, which this week is all about how to have a conversation about splitting group gifts with friends, which I think is going to get a little bit spicy, but we like spicy in this team.

Yes, we do. Certainly do. My loves, how have your weeks been? Jess, let's start with you because I always feel like we throwed a beck. Oh, I was not ready. Yeah, no, I knew. I knew your little face was like, I'm not prepared. I looked it back. It's been good. It's been a, I would say like a normal good week, just like doing things. It's a short week this week. Happy Good Friday.

Happy Good Friday. I hope you have the day off if you're listening. I have the day off and we're going to do an Easter egg hunt again. Oh, my God, stop. I'm so excited. There's so many little humans in our, like, friend group and family at the moment. And I just feel like times like this, I just made so much more special when there's, like, little people who are excited about fantasy. Like, they live for it.

Isn't it like Easter bunnies coming and they're like, holy moly. Like, is that not the most fun thing ever? Yeah, how excited they get about it is the best. my personal favorite part of the long weekend is the day after the long weekend when all of these chocolate is 50% off. Oh yeah. I will be buying every available pack of Kinder Bueno eggs that exists. And Humpty Dumpty. Hold up. Kinder Bueno eggs. I think all, I don't know if they're officially Bueno, but they taste like the Bueno. The Kinder mini eggs. Yeah. Okay. Supreme. If I see any, I will pick them up for you because I'm a nice person. So kind. And I also know how to

bribe jessica i'll bring some in she's not gonna share you know what she's gonna do i'm on to jess she is incredibly generous but she's gonna bring all of her cadbury solid eggs that she doesn't want anymore and share those with the team ah and gatekeep the kinder i'm actually okay with that yeah it's still getting a little something yep yeah i mean she's still incredibly generous but like the ones she's sold us on they're not gonna leave her house i see i see i see saving the best for the best. For the last. It's like when you share a meal with somebody. I was talking to Steve about this the other day and I save my favourite part of the meal to the very end. Same. If there's like a good bit or something crispy or like, I don't know, really like mashed

potato, I will like leave that till last and eat all my not favourite things first. Steve just eats it first. Is that rogue to you? That is rogue. My best friend does the exact same thing. She says in case she gets full, she wants to eat the best thing first. No, no, no. You have to get it over and done with. But what about do you eat, like if you have a plate with four, like you've got some corn, some peas, some mashed potatoes, and some tofu because obviously you don't eat meat.

Do you go section by section or do you have a little bit of peas, a little bit of corn, some taties, and jump around? If there's a boiled broccoli, this is so specific, I'm going to go a boiled broccoli, boiled carrot by itself thirst so I can get it out of the way. No, you don't use those as vehicles for the mash, Katie. Like a wetness, like to quench your thirst while you eat. Sometimes I do, but I prefer to just get it out of the way. Where is this going, quench your thirst while you eat with a carrot, Jess? You get it. It's juicy. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's moist.

No, I like hop around the plate and I kind of, it's like the other day I got sushi rolls, right? And like, I love, like, I think they're called the Californian rolls, but I don't get the California one I get like the tempura veggie and cucumber and then I get like this like a teriyaki tofu and anyway so I get three of those rolls I will psycho or what I will bite all three to taste all three of them and decide which is the best one I will then put the best one to the side eat the other ones and then go back to my favorite so that I end on my favorite because I don't want to start one of those rolls and then realize that that was the best roll that I had They're all the same.

They have the same stuff in them. No, they don't. They're all different, Jessica. Like I don't want to eat that and then like get to the teriyaki tofu one and it's not as good as it usually is. So I've got to taste test all of them. And yesterday the tempura vegetable and cucumber was elite. So I just saved that for last.

And if I'm getting a bit full, to counteract your best friend's behaviour, if I'm getting a bit full, all right, well, I'm going to give up the middle food and go directly to the end and have all my favourite food and then we're done. And now you know more about us than you ever desired to know. Anyway, Bec, how are you? How's your week going? My week was so sick.

The Comedy Festival has started. Oh, my God, yes. So I went to two shows already. I want to fit in more, though. I want every second of my day to be crammed, jam-packed with comedy shows. I love comedy. Such a Melbourne thing, isn't it, the Comedy Fest? Yes.

I don't know if they tour it, but, like, it's so iconic in Melbourne. It's better in Melbourne. It's so good. It's so good. So, and obviously short week, Easter, whole week has just been great. Who is your fave person you saw? I really like Alex Ward, which I know is, she's not very, I don't know, maybe she's famous.

Do you guys know Alex Ward? No, but like you're going to make her famous putting her on this podcast. Basically, she's like a friend of a friend and also, and I didn't know that at the time. So I'm still like a weak plug. So you're not a famous person? Well, you know, technically I do. Basically.

I mean, I know you. That is not famous. There's a difference between famous and infamous. yeah just quiet notorious okay it's not a good thing i say i say i'm gonna have to yeah i'm gonna have to try and figure out what those two meanings are but she was really really good have you guys seen any no no because at the moment i think we've spoken about it i'm not living close to the city at the moment while we finish our renovation i'm like an hour and a half away and this year when i was trying to work out what i could go to i just i couldn't be bothered with

the commute. And after the last month, March for us was massive and we were, you know, traveling so much. I'm just like becoming really evasive of any type of travel that is not necessary. Like if you want to put me in a car, there's going to have to be a good reason for it this month. Fair enough. So yeah, I couldn't justify it. Is that perhaps the money when you're saving on fuel? Oh, let's go with that. And is that perhaps an excellent segue for me? Actually, sorry, Jessica Ricci, before we continue, our producer is desperate for us to talk about it. Because actually all morning we've been...

Did we not give up enough about how weird we are when we explained our process of elimination of vegetables on our plates? I think we've opened the door and we need to... This is the only opportunity we're going to get. I mean, it's Easter, so, like, this doesn't come up often. No, so we just want to know, because all morning we have been eating Easter eggs, unwrapping them carefully.

The hollow Easter eggs, the big boys. Yes. But I do it with the tiny ones too. You can do it with the tiny ones. And then smoothing the hell out of it until it is within an inch of its life. It's like you iron the foil with your fingertips. Or some people scrunch, which, I don't know, that's psycho behaviour. We have agreed that in this team we all are smoothers except for our producer,

Annalisa, who apparently just rips up foil like a psychopath. I wish I had known that before I became her friend. I don't know if she's going to continue being our producer. I do not. Who doesn't meticulously unwrap a foil egg and then smooth out the foil and then if it doesn't get any rips? This particular one looks like glass. I did that one, Jess.

We actually did the back of a water bottle lid. Yeah, I did that one and then I gifted it to Bec because it was so good. Like a magpie. Very good. Give it a little shake in the microphone. I'm going to give it a little shake in the mic for everyone listening at home. you can hear how smooth it is. That's stunning ASMR. It's a money win that I gifted that to you but Jessica let's segue into the community money wins because honestly we're gonna lose a lot of

people who listen to this podcast if we continue on the current trajectory. All right well let me start with a goodie this week from Catherine who said I went back into working in child care after taking many years off. I found out that my children get a 60% discount because I work in the industry. So helpful considering I've got two kids in daycare at the moment. That's actually a really good money win. Very good money win. I feel like we might have a few childcare workers out there if you didn't know that. Now you know. I actually love that. You guys deserve it as well because you're already underpaid from my perspective. So getting a little bit of a money win, 60%. Not bad. That's good. Not bad. My next win comes from Vanessa who said,

I sold some shares that had increased by just over $500. They didn't align with my values and I'll be putting the money into an ETF instead. Oh, see, that is a solid strategy. So I think when we start our investing journeys, sometimes we pick things that in a couple of years when you know more about investing, you're like, oh, I wouldn't have had that. But that doesn't mean you need to dispose of them immediately, like waiting for a circumstance where they're up, they're putting you in a good position, you can then dispose of them and put them into something else. Like that's just smart investing behavior, guys. Vanessa said she'll have some capital gains, but her brother is an accountant and he'll sort it out for her at tax time.

Double win. Sick. Double win. My next one comes from Tanya who said, I had to go to the dentist for what I thought was going to be major work. Turns out, just a normal scale and polish, and it was $12 after my health insurance rebate. $12?

Who's ever gone to the dentist and walked out being like, What is this, 1962? The dream. Inflation just doesn't exist. That is so good. Yeah. How good? Turns out, the economy's fine.

We were all wrong. We were all wrong. That's actually incredible. My next money win comes from Danielle, who said, I managed to consolidate my debt. And now instead of having an almost 20% interest rate, it's going to be sitting at around the 8% mark. Huge. Oh, how good is that? And I know that obviously being in personal debt is not something we all want. But at the moment, I feel like a lot of us are going to be leaning on this and we just need

to have open, honest, transparent conversations about what it takes to get by. And if that's the case, just find the best solution for you. Don't just go with the first one that comes across. And if you've got a number of personal debts, have a chat to a finance broker who could maybe sit you down and go, okay, cool. You've got, you know, three debts across a credit card and maybe two personal loans. How about we whack them all together and get a lower interest rate for you? 8% versus 20%. I feel like Danielle is onto something there. And then very on theme for my last money win today from Tina, she said, free local Easter egg hunts are going around at this time of year, our local real estate agent put an Easter egg hunt on for kids under 12.

Free ice cream and coffee, prize and colouring competitions, and then our daycare centre will also be putting on an Easter egg hunt. Oh, love. This made me think a lot. My local council does one every year. So I feel like if you've got the kiddies and you're a bit strapped for cash, it could be a fun way to do something special this weekend. That is really cute. That was one of my radio tips. So for those of you who still listen to the radio, I have a radio segment on Kiss FM and Gold 104, I believe, and also Mix, which is wild. And every day I give like money tips and tricks. That was just one of my tips and tricks for this week was like, check your council websites and check your Facebook groups and stuff and see what's going on. Because as

the cost of living continues to increase, like free activities, way more sexy than they used to be. Free used to be good. Now free is epic. We love free, especially when it's free chocolate. Yeah. Oh, 100%. 100%. I'm very excited for Easter. Like given there are so many kids around, so many chocolates around, but I'm making people do Easter activities. Like we are doing an egg and spoon race. We are doing a three-level race. We are channeling school fate, but in Victoria's backyard this weekend. Can't wait to update you guys. All right. Let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, we're going to come back with a money dilemma. We want to talk about how to record information on your tax return, but then we're also going to be talking about how to

split group gifts for friends because I think that that can get a little bit topical, a little bit spicy, and just not so diplomatic. So don't go anywhere, guys. We will see you on the flip side. All right. You know what time it is. Money Dilemma time. Yay. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi ladies, I love your work, love your podcast and I'm wondering if you can

help me with some information about software or an app or an interface of some kind to help me with my tax time each year, just collecting my expenses and my income in an easier way than I do it right now, which is by hand. So thanks so much. I can't wait to hear what you've got to say and lots of hugs from Mandy. Thanks. Bye. Oh, I love you, Mandy. Lots of hugs right back. Hi, Mandy. A billion hugs right back. I am, oh, so wholesome, but also such a good question. Very good question. So many of us are probably still doing it manually. And I'm even a little bit guilty of this while I, I'm still the girl with the shoe box. Like I still have a shoe box full of receipts and stuff. It's like beside my desk. It's a designer shoe box. Does that help?

Or maybe worse. Maybe worse. Okay. No worries. I'm not claiming the shoes though. So that's maybe better. Moving on. It's a really good question. And there are a million different apps and stuff if you type tax into the app store and it's not helpful, right? But the best app that I have come across is the most boring recommendation. Are you ready for this? The Australian Taxation Office have an app. Brilliant. I do in fact have it on my phone. No, it's called the ATO app. They're probably real proud of this one. I love them. I think they're doing a really good job, but the ATO app is essentially a really simple and easy way for you to access and manage your tax and super on the go, which is, it sounds like I'm trying to sell it to you. Which I am. And you

have. And I have, cool. But it's free. We love that. If you're an individual or you're a sole trader, or you even have a business, you can access your personal tax and super information on that app. But there are also a whole heap of really helpful features like tracking receipts and keeping track of things. And you know what it does? Files it away. So when you do your tax return, it's right there. I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, but they also have, if you're someone who claims travel in your car, because you use the logbook method more often than not, I'm pretty sure there's a feature in that same app where you can track your travel. So it's all plugged directly in as well. All right. We'll just take the words right out of my mouth, Miss Jessica.

They also have another app. They don't just have one app. They've got two apps. Look at them go. Their second app is called My Deductions. Brilliant. And it is a record keeping tool. So you can actually keep record of all your work related expenses like vehicle trips, Jessica, that you make in general expenses. So maybe like the cost of managing your tax affairs or like gifts or donations that you make. And then you can upload these records at tax time to make lodging your tax return a whole heap easier. I promise it is actually really easy. The ATO have made that so that absolutely everybody can just access it and use it. Like it's a really simple interface, which, to be honest, I love

and I think is really important. But that's what I would recommend, the ATO app and then the My Deductions app. Both of them are government-run, so you know that it's not like trying to clip the ticket in the background or like sell you something else and you know that you're not going to have to ever pay for them. It's just a simple way to keep, I guess, your record straight. If you don't want an app, though, because there are going

I mean, some people are out there that are like, I don't want to nap in Victoria. If you don't have a smartphone. Yeah, and if you're as lazy as me. So, like, I have a smartphone, Jess. Jess can probably attest to this, Bec. Do I use it efficiently? Probably not. Could be better.

How many times do I answer the phone when you call? It's like it's not. That's not even what it's for. I am convinced that I have a phone so that I can use TikTok. Yep. That's it. Don't try calling me. Why is the TikTok machine ringing?

Why is it ringing? getting. Why are you Jessica trying to interrupt me talking? Anyway, I am pretty basic, but I'm also a little bit complicated because I have business expenses and personal expenses and all of that. And when you have as many different like entities as I do, I just, I put it all in one place and I actually have a folder on my phone called tax time 2023. And I take photos of all my receipts and pop them in there so that come tax time, I just go to the one album, like taking a photo of it, good, but actually filing it into an album so you don't have to like scroll back through the 600 million photos you've taken of your cat, really extra helpful. Yeah. Yeah. So

that's what I do. The ATO app, the My Deductions app. And then if you don't want to do that, just taking photos of everything and keeping it in one clean and clear space. So when you're doing your tax return, it can just be a much cleaner and simpler process because it turns out having a designer shoebox beside your desk is not that sexy. And to be honest, my accountant last year threatened violence. Well, you know what, talking about receipts and doing things the manual difficult way, this week someone slid into our DMs to ask about splitting expenses, did they not? They did. And I feel like this can be a really, do we want to call it like spicy topic? The DMs popped off. The DMs popped off. Our social media manager says the DMs popped off.

it means this legit guy is terrified. So this week we got a question and we posted it on our stories. And the question was, hey girls, I'm facing an annoying dilemma at the moment with my friends and I. I have a big group of around 15 girls, unrelatable content, and it is getting really hard buying everyone a birthday present. I feel like I can never quite afford it and it just feels like an expense that's unnecessary. Is there a way I can go about this with my friends or an alternative I can offer? Someone offered the idea of everyone puts in what they can afford, but one of my friends didn't like how people who put in $10 get the same credit as people who might put in $100, which I think is silly. But anyway, I need help. Firstly, gift giving is not about

getting credit. I understand that especially as you get older, maybe, you know, your income increases and you want to give a better present. But I feel like the best gifts and some of my favorite gifts that I've gotten have been gifts that perhaps weren't expensive, but they were very thoughtful. It's the act of giving. If you're giving just for the sake of credit, I feel like you're not really giving for the right reason. Yes. I mean, I gave Bec that piece of tinfoil before because I was really proud of it and I knew she'd appreciate it.

Happiest day of her life. Yes. This is free, we would say. Maybe you've paid like 40 cents for the egg. I didn't even. Annalisa bought them for me. She says it was the Easter bunny, but I know she did it. I'm pretty sure I saw a bunny though.

Oh, okay. Well, you know what? I just don't believe Annalisa because it's not time for Easter bunny to come, is it? So what's he doing in my office? That's a fair question. It's a fair question and I don't like being lied to. No, well, that's okay. Look, this is such a relatable topic, I think.

I definitely have this exact same anxiety like year round for anything, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, weddings. Weddings are hard. Weddings are hard, hen's parties, babies, like so many gifts you've got to buy all the time. It's unreal. There are some friends that I have and we've genuinely come to a mutual decision to not buy each other gifts and that's something we're both going to stick to

you know when you come it comes to your birthday and they're like oh I know that we said we're not going to buy gifts but I just bought you this little thing none of that none of that so I guess like in this instance maybe having that conversation with the group of friends it seems like they're buying for each other anyway having a conversation being like 15 girlfriends that you buy for to me is wild don't know what that feels like but I have like two friends yeah one of them's Jess The other one's back. Believable. Let's all agree not to buy each other gifts.

Done. And that's what she can maybe. No, no, I'm, no. I was going to say, I'm saying done, but I'm going to be that friend who's like, oh, but I did just. But I wouldn't, but I wouldn't expect anything. Like, you know, if you're one of those, because that's probably a good flip side is if you're, we've had this conversation, if your love language is gift giving, it might be something that really fulfills you, but you don't necessarily need to get one back. So there's going to be people on the other side of that as well. I think that's such a relevant point.

And we've talked about gift-giving and just love languages in general on the podcast before, right? And it's interesting because I feel like I know Jess really well now. One of her love languages is gift-giving, but also I know one of her love languages is gift-receiving. Oh, gosh. That's a tricky one. She loves it, right?

And that's okay. Like, it's just good to know. But if you look at me, gift-giving is one of my love languages. I don't like getting gifts back. I'm the same as that. I feel really awkward when people gift me something. I know it's my birthday and, like, I love birthdays. I love celebrations.

I love the love that surrounds that. I love the attention of people saying happy birthday. I feel really uncomfortable when you gift me something and I don't have something to reciprocate with. I just go, oh, like, and I'm so grateful, right? Like, I love it and I feel like I'm surrounded by people who always give really thoughtful gifts, so I always really appreciate it,

but also I just feel uncomfortable with that. Yeah, like it's okay. But it's my love language to give gifts and I adore doing it. I've probably done it to both of you at some point where I've been like, oh, you said you wanted this or you said that you liked this or I thought you might have needed. Like I am that person that is giving gifts even when it's not your birthday, even when it's not Christmas.

Like I just love that if I think that I can help or do something. Like I just, it gives me this deep sense of joy, right? I love it. You did buy me Olaplex when my hair was bleached to oblivion. Yeah, and you said, oh, my gosh, I would love Olaplex but it's so expensive and then I had some Olaplex at home so I gifted it to you and I knew that you'd appreciate it because you'd said that you wanted it. It was really, really beautiful.

But not everybody is like that and that's okay. But I think this is why money is so complicated because right now the question at hand is about 15 different people all coming to a general consensus and even sitting at this table with just three, we can't come to a general consensus on what we should and shouldn't do. I think we're all relatively... Open-minded?

Yeah, I think we're all, but also just logical. Yeah. Like it does not make sense financially, Jess, in this economy to be buying everybody gifts. So I think at this particular table, I think we'd all be like, well, that's dumb, let's just not buy each other gifts and I think we would respect that. Yeah, or just be like, hey, let's set a limit, $5 each.

Maximum. Yeah. Just have a nice conversation with everyone because if you work out the math behind it all, that's 15 different birthdays, that's 15 times you've got to put in. That's wild. Even if it's more than once a month on average. And then you've also, like, it's not like they're your only friends. You've probably got family maybe.

Maybe you've got a partner. There's so many more people. You could buy. 15 friends. I just can't comprehend that. As the person who loves to receive gifts, as you said, like, no shame about it. There's nothing wrong with that. But if someone said to me, hey, like, financially, it's really hard.

can we pull back on it? I'd be like, that's fine. Like I would much rather you be in a comfortable, happy position. That's what I mean. You're logical, right? Like it's not like Jess is like, well, my needs need to be met. She loves it. But I think that there's also a line of like, Jess, would you love it if you knew it financially crippled me? Or if I knew it was stressing you out, I'd feel so terrible. Exactly. So I think that gift giving is important if it's important to you but we also need to I guess balance those opinions at the same time as balance budgets and as you're saying 15 people that's not even everybody yeah so if we then included let's pretend you've got a wholesome nuclear family and you're buying for mum and dad and siblings and

aunts and uncles and grandparents like you're buying at least two presents a month at this rate yeah what who has the budget for that like it's unreasonable and then you know I don't know how everybody else works. But in my head, is this a thing? I don't know if it's a thing. There's a gift-giving hierarchy. I have that too. Some people get better presents than others? Yeah. Yeah. There's a gift-giving hierarchy. So like at the top of the pyramid, my parents, they get the best presents. They get the most money allocated to them. Then there's my sister. I like to remind her that I don't spend as much on her as I do on my parents, but she's my sister. So she's going to get more than my best friend, but then my best friend, she probably gets

more than Jess, who's not my best friend, but he's a really close friend. And then under that is everybody else. And it kind of falls down in terms of how close you are to me. But then the hierarchy gets mixed up again, Bec. Like, yeah, depends what the occasion is, because that's for birthdays. True. What if you're getting married? Then you might fly to the top of the hierarchy, because I think from my perspective, I spend

more on wedding gifts than I would on birthdays. Or if you just had a baby and we love buying baby stuff. 100%. Also, that's a really good point. Is this gift self-serving to me? I love buying baby stuff. The probability of me buying you more baby stuff just purely because I enjoy buying that stuff, very high. You bought a horse, probably not that interested in buying you horsey things. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So there's like this hierarchy and I'm not saying that that's everyone's experience but like that just means we can't average out the gifts and be like okay Beck you should budget $20 a month for gifts because that's not reflective of your experience I also know some people don't give gifts at all full stop end of story because they think that's

that's silly and that's cool yeah totally because we're all different also not everybody who wants to give gifts can afford to give gifts exactly like I'm in a very privileged position where I can afford this right like and I have an income that can support that you might have my personality and not have the income and then that might break your heart because like that's what you want to do like you might want to get your friend a gift but it's just not not it's not in the budget and it's not doable so I think we need to address all of that because in that group of 15 girls that we're talking about I'm sure that there are very varying incomes and that hierarchy concept is probably applicable to in a group so large you would imagine that you probably would be like

you would have a couple of girls who are really close they're the first people that you go to and there will be other girls that you're really great friends with but maybe you're not so connected they're connected with other people because when there's 15 of you you're probably not going to have the same relationship with every person so then are you spending more on the ones you're closer with and then like the social complications come into play yeah it's a real tough situation because it's not cut and narrow right no I might be closer to Jess so come Jess's birthday I'm like oh I'll stick 50 bucks in that because I love Jess and then you know Beck you might come up to Jess's birthday and you're like well I've only just joined the show I don't really

know Jess as well as Victoria does I'm gonna put like 20 bucks in or whatever that's so fine but then the question around who gets credit like I just what I was just gonna say coming back to that credit thing no shaming people for their contributions and their gifts please that's so route. Yeah, because to, I guess, put a bit more context into it using that exact example, $20 to Beck might be a whole heap more than what $50 means to me. You don't know. It might be 10% of your income entirely for every single person. Yeah, like what if Beck used the last $20 she had in her bank account this month to put towards your present? Exactly. That's crazy. But like, Do you know what I mean? Like that context of credit, why is it financial? Why isn't it

the actual situation? Like, cause in that circumstance, if we're just using that as a base example, Beck actually put in more than me. Beck actually valued you more than I did in that circumstance. And I think it's wild. I think, you know, to, I guess wrap this, cause I want to read out some of the community contributions. From my perspective, I don't think group gift giving is a good idea at a base level. I think that if it's birthdays, a birthday comes around every single year. To me, birthdays are really special that celebrate the person. If you want to get them a gift individually, you do, you boo. But I don't think that there should be this like group circus around it. But I do think that group gifts can. And I love it because I'm in that

stage in my life where my friends are getting married, right? I love giving someone a more valuable gift. So like our friend group goes in and instead of, you know, getting you a cutlery set back, we actually get you a really nice weekend away for you and your new husband or wife or partner. Yeah. Like, and our friends put in for that and that's what we would, we just want you to have an experience or we want you to have something that's more high value. When one of our friends had their first baby, we all put in and we bought a pram and it was like, prams are really expensive. I could not have bought that for them. I probably could have afforded a few smaller baby things. But when we all went in together, they got their dream pram that they had already said

it's probably not in the budget. And so I think that for things like that, absolutely. But from my perspective, group birthday giving, unless it's like a 30th or like a really big celebration where we are actually going to a party and contributing, I just think annual birthday presents for friends, especially not best friends tough you know what not in this economy not in this economy I feel like the people had some really good suggestions on alternative like methods or ideas that we could use did you have any that stood out to you BD you are correct Jess we have literally hundreds of responses so I'm going to read but a few so one person said I tend not to buy because most of the time it costs you money to attend the dinner if there is one great point yep yep someone

said, presents for big birthdays, i.e. 30th, same page baby. Otherwise, recce slash lunch slash dinner, but no gift. Someone said, if everyone's contributing, you should be setting a limit on how much everyone can give. So you can give up to a certain amount. That's a smart way. I hadn't thought of that. Someone said, I buy my friends gifts from myself and I don't ask for help. They I know exactly what I can afford and what I can't, and I'm okay with that. Someone said, presents over presents. I love that. Presents with a C-E over presents with a T-S.

Yes, just in case. Because you have them exactly the same. Sorry, I tried. I tried. It really threw me, actually. I could see the panic in your face. I'm like, I'm sure people are going to fix this. I'm going to fix this.

Thank you. Someone said, a group of 15 girls would be really expensive. I only buy for a few of my close friends. Someone else said, my friends and I don't do presents at all. We just get together for some quality birthday time, which I really like. There's been a few suggestions, and I'm not going to read all of them out, but a lot of people have said to do DIY gifts. Other people have said they avoid group gifts, and that was a fair few of you.

And I feel like that makes sense. Because that's when it gets complicated. A hundred percent. But also the thing we haven't considered in this circumstance is peer pressure. and like, Bec, what if you and I really wanted to get Jess a present, but then we have this other friend that's like, I wasn't going to get Jess a present. It can be awkward to say no. Yeah, exactly.

It can be awkward to say no. And then are they contributing to something else? And also, what if, right? So Jess is usually the ringleader in this circumstance. She's a big, big gift giver and I love it. But what if the rest of our team, and thankfully they are, what if the rest of our team weren't the same? What if Jess is like, oh, I love giving gifts, let's organise Becca a gift,

but when it comes around to Jess's birthday, no one organises it for her? Oh, that'd be sad. Single tear. Yeah, single tear. But like is there an expectation that this happens for every single one of these 15 girls that's putting into this? Or are there going to be, you know, 14 times where people are putting in and then that one time someone else misses out?

Like is this consistent? Is it not? What if someone's financial position changes? Like if you, in January, you're like, yeah, absolutely, I can put in 50 bucks and then by the end of the year you're like no money left like I can't give you nothing like and then are you being too pressured because you're not putting in the same amounts one's not getting as good of a get it's so hard it's really tough and then how do you say no I don't want to contribute to the group present without feeling awkward and I've said this

before you should no is a full sentence like no is absolutely a full sentence and you can use that You don't have to justify anything, but my personality is to, you know, be like, oh, hey, Bec, unfortunately I can't because of this, this and this because it makes me more comfortable. I'm not saying you need to do that. Because you could just say, no, thank you, full stop, end of story. Which is fine. But how do you make that not awkward if I don't want to contribute

to the group present? I know. Are you then mad because you like did the maths in your head and you did like 15 times 20 is this amount and we now have this total amount to play with and then by me pulling out, is it making it more expensive for other people? I don't know. It gets a bit awkward too when you're like a group of friends

and one person doesn't want to pay and then you're like, should we be petty and not put them on the card? Oh. Yes. But like. Because they didn't technically contribute. That's the credit that they're talking about. That's the credit that they're talking about.

Exactly. I feel like the key takeaway here is. I always put my dog on the card. She doesn't contribute anything. Everyone, just relax with the presents. Let's give everyone credit. If you're in the friendship group, it's probably because you're a good person. because you've contributed somehow at some point.

So just put them on the card, no matter what they're contributing. Yeah, and sit down, all 15 of you, have a little powwow, talk it through, and don't feel bad. Like, you're all friends here, talk about what works for you, and if that means that maybe the group gifts stop, that's okay. Send them this episode. Maybe it'll help. The rising cost of living, I just think we should yeet presents out.

In this economy, absolutely. In this economy. In this economy. Let's just call it, like, cost of living core. Like on TikTok, there's like, you know, it's cost of living core budgeting. Now, really cool. Part of my aesthetic. Eating just beans on toast.

It's not a bad dinner, Jess. It's cost of living core. Oh, my gosh. I think I can make this happen. Oh, well, on that note, I'm going to go make this work over the weekend and work out what is going to be made up of my cost of living core. Like what's that aesthetic actually look like? Tag us in your stories.

Tag us in your cost of living core stories. Have the best weekend. We love you. And we will see you for a Money Diary on Monday. Bye, guys. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

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