She's On The Money - Bridesmaid Duties Are Destroying My Budget (And Possibly Our Friendship)

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Your bestie just asked you to be their bridesmaid, which has you wondering: will you (or your friendship) ever financially recover from this? Happy Friday Drinks to all who celebrate. In this week’s episode, Victoria and Jess cover the costs of being a bridesmaid in a distressed (but very relatable) DM. With nuptials on the menu, they also respond to a Money Dilemma which asks which money chats should we be having before getting engaged?  Before linking your life (and your finances) with your lover, what money stories, habits and convos need to be tabled and how do you have these chats when love and money are often at odds with each other? As always, the gang will be bringing you Money Wins of the week, plus Broke Tips for making your budget that much happier come payday.  💬 Wanna be on the pod? Send us your Money Dilemma via voice note on our website. 📩 Got a question you’re dying to ask? Slide into our DMs. ⭐️ And, if you loved this episode, you know what to do. Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group (🔍 ShesontheMoneyAUS) and follow us on Instagram @shesonthemoneyau for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you. Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements (queenacknowledgements.com) The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imelan, mumubangaraboma ininyalan waka, kaanonyakarumja, wutunadanar. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing

you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that proves that personal finance can be fun especially on a friday when we get together and celebrate you our exceptional she's on the money community and it wouldn't be friday drinks without the marvelous miss jessie with us all to share her money wins and a weekly batch of broke tips which i will be sharing because beck is rude and got covid poor honey pie we love her we do but like it's been pretty fun cosplaying

thick today. And every single week we answer a money dilemma from our beautiful listeners. This one is for anyone coupled up or curious about the kinds of questions you should be asking each other before you get engaged. And we'll also be discussing the true cost of being a bridesmaid because it always adds up, doesn't it? I love bitching about being a bridesmaid. I don't know what it is. I love the comment sections of these videos online of people being like, well, actually It's a privilege that I asked my friends. Nah. And I'm like, so wild.

It's almost like it's coming from the horse's mouth. Like it's never the friend being like, oh, actually, I didn't mind spending nearly $1,000 I wasn't able to budget for to be a part of Jessica's wedding. It's never them. It's always the brides being like, well, it was a privilege, was it? Do not come to my town. I just think of that audio.

You have to pay for the privilege. Is it a privilege? What did she buy into the experience? Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Anyway, if you've always wanted to have your question answered on the show, please send us a delightful little DM or head to shesonthemoney.com and record a voice note over there. Don't be shy.

It might be your own voice we're hearing on next week's episode. Miss Just Gritchy, speaking of shy, it is time for our five-star listener review where we bask in your praise for the pod. We are so shy, you guys. Are you shy, Jess? We are so shy. don't get me on my best angle. We read every message, every comment, every glowing review,

and this one is no exception. This one comes from Jess. Great name. Who hit us up on Instagram to say, Hi V, I honestly didn't think I was bad with money. I just always felt a little bit behind. I'd get paid, everything would come out, and then I just wonder, where did it all go every single month, lol? I started using the She's On The Money budget properly after half doing it for ages, and it just made everything make sense. Over time, I stopped feeling stressed about money, built up some savings and I've been able to drop down to part-time at work, which is something I genuinely

never thought I'd be able to do but have been wanting forever. It's not even about having heaps of money now because I don't. It's just that I feel finally in control and I owe you all a really big thanks. I probably should be paying for your next oat latte. Oh, Jess, that's amazing. I'll pay for your coffee. The savings will do it for you.

Exactly. So, my friends, that was really kind. But if you've had an aha moment after listening to an episode of She's on the Money, please let us know. We're really shy. We need the ego boost. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or, you know, honestly, wherever you're getting your fix of finance chats. Are you ready for this week's question of the week? It's Jessica Ricci.

Yes. I'd say this one's a little bit broad, but maybe I guess that's a good thing. If you could experience something for the first time again, what would it be? Oh, God. I want to say something profound, but. It's not sex, is it? No. Maybe just like the first time I like truly, deeply loved something.

Like that, during like such an amazing feeling of. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yep, yep, yep. Mine just clicked. Yeah, like a falling in love or getting your first pet and loving it so desperately. Like just such a joyous emotion to marinate in that it's like to get to experience it again for the first time. Because I think like the thing with firsts is it's not just you're experiencing whatever you're experiencing.

It's also the excitement of being like, well, I've never felt this before. I've never done this before. I've never seen this before. That's a really good question that I think I'm going to roll around in my brain for a very long time. As I said, it's abroad, but maybe that's a good thing. I want to meet my husband again for the first time. Oh, that's very cute. Because it's like I adore him.

He's my husband. But the butterflies aren't there. Like I remember going home after our first date and I lived with my best friend, Steph, and I was like, oh, my God, this guy. Like I want that. I want that. Like I don't want to meet someone new. Like I don't want to go on another day.

I want to just experience my first date with my husband again. Yeah. That would be really cute. That would be really, really sweet. If you're listening and your name is Stephen, we should go on a date. I'm desperate to know what other people want to experience it because I'm really like this is like sending me, I'm having a crisis, guys. How about we post it on socials and we'll see what other people have got to say.

Or pop it in the comments on Spotify even because I know. Yeah, pop it in the comments on Spotify because then I can go through and reply to them and it's on this episode. It's not lost into the Facebook abyss. Yeah. I've seen lots of people say like they'd love to read their first book again. their favourite book again for the first time. But because I have a bad memory, I kind of get that every time I read a book. Yeah, why do you think I reread books so often? I'm like, wow, this was

amazing. Have you heard of it, Jess? And you're like, yeah, you recommended it to me two years ago. So good. Well, the beginner's mindset is something to behold, I think. If you've got a question that you would love for us to answer on the pod, please send it on through and we might just air it on our next episode. And as you've just heard, it doesn't actually need to be a money-related question, it can literally be about anything. Now, Jess, I know you've got some good ones lined up this week. What money wins did the community have? Alrighty, first one this week I've got is from Carly, who said, after listening to the podcast, I looked into my super income protection. I'm currently on workers' compensation with a shoulder injury and was stood down around

this time last year. After applying and getting approved, I was back paid $5,900, which really helped with the bills I couldn't fully pay while waiting for the insurance company to pay me whenever they felt like it. I've had bills coming out but no regular money coming in. I feel like I'm getting so much better with money now that I am listening to you girls. I hope you're doing okay, Carly, but glad to hear that the advice helped a little bit. I love it. Next, I've got one from Rachel who said, I just added my partner as a listed driver on my car insurance and my monthly premium went down $36 a month because he has a clean claims history. Oh, I didn't even know that was a thing. I was going to say, is it about age? No, so Rachel had claimed last year due to

her old car being written off, but even she wasn't at fault. But she said adding him on because his history is clean somehow brought her premium down. Money win. You're like the sum of your average. Next, I've got a money win from Felicity who said, I installed a timer for our hot water system to be off a controlled load circuit and onto a timer during the day to be powered for free by our solar. Genius. There were a lot of words that I didn't even know, but very clever. I also shopped around and changed our electricity to glowbird boost and our daily cost of electricity has halved, which should save us between $800 and $1,000 this year. I love that.

Very, very. That's actually really impressive. Then I've got one from Julie who said she bought this Sandro tweed dress at Savers for $25.49. Sandro. Looked up the price. It's on sale on The Iconic for $492. Stop it. So I don't know how much it was to begin with, but Julie has-

When I say I love Sandro, I love looking at Sandro. It's beautiful. And Julie has bagged herself an absolute bargain. Next, I've got one from Kiara who said, my husband buys a lot of iced coffees, way more than one person should drink. We have a jar of coffee that no one uses because when it comes to hot drinks, we're tea drinkers. So I decided to make our own and he loved it.

So instead of spending $6 to $7 a litre, it's only costing me $5.15 for three litres. Plus, I have heaps of glass jars and jugs already. So he just takes one to the work and puts it in the fridge. Takes a traveller with him. Really cute. You're making him little coffee travellers. I know. I was like that's a very sweet like mental image of her like sending him off in the morning with

like a little cup of coffee. Adorable. My husband does that on recording days. Oh bless. In my little fresco cup that has my name on it. It's really cute. That is actually adorable. Next I've got Morgan who says the debt she's been chipping away at will be at less than $20,000 next month. Oh my god. How exciting. That would just feel so good to have a one in front of your debt. Oh true. I was like a one. I was like oh Yeah, because it's less than 20. It's so silly and we talked about this on another episode recently

where it's like a mental game. It's like that two has probably been haunting you and now it's one. It's still five figures but, like, it feels so much more attainable. Yeah, keep on going, Morgan. Keep chipping away. And then lastly this week I've got a money man from Sarah who said, I sold a couple of things on Marketplace within 24 hours of posting them. Didn't make a crazy amount of money but they were taking up space

in my wardrobe and could be of use to other people. I love it. An oldie but a goodie. Well, this week, my friends, I'm bringing you broke tips because Becky's resting away, gathering more thrifty insights. I assume that's what she's doing, but I'm bringing you three. Can't wait. Siobhan, I round up every purchase, but I do it mentally.

I have been transferring the difference into savings. So if I spend $16.20, I then transfer $3.80 to my savings account. It's small, but it adds up way quicker than you think. And I can round it up to anything I want. I was going to say, I quite like that. I assumed it would just be to the nearest dollar, but to the nearest 20. Yeah, she's like, oh, well, that one feels like a 20. Yeah.

Or like maybe another one feels like, oh, that was $20 purchase. I'm going to round it up to 25. Like, how cute. I really like that. I really like that too because it's like kind of becomes like a fun game. And speaking of fun, Brooke says, I have a fun money only card. Okay. She says, once that account is empty for the week, that's it.

No top ups, no exceptions. It's the only thing that stopped me from dipping into my savings for dumb stuff. It's very disciplined. That's very disciplined. That's clever. I like it. And this one I have stolen from the community. I meant to bring one of my own, but I didn't say I was going to be good at being Beck and

her broke tips. I feel stealing a broke tip is very Big Beck energy, to be honest. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So I stole this broke tip from Monica and she says, this one's a little bit rogue, but I've made savings a game. every time I don't uber eats when I want to I pay myself by transferring $25 into a separate account called future me is hot and I love that and I feel like yeah it is future you is hot

because she just saved money instead of uber eats and like that's so active I love it that's hot girl energy for sure also just like naming your savings account future me is hot it is so fun Sometimes I forget we have free will. It is fun to name your savings accounts something stupid. Honestly, you can change them whenever you want. That's the free will you're not activating right now. But also, it is so funny as someone who works in mortgage broking, getting to audit people's bank accounts. And what's fairy money? I had to ask a client the other day. She has fairy money. I love that. Do you know what fairy money is? What is it? Her husband can't ask her because it was the fairies. I'm obsessed with everything about that. You cannot ask me about any purchase

made from that account because that was the fairies. I need to overhaul all of my savers and I need everyone to tell me what their fund savings accounts names are. Put that in the Spotify comment section. Yes. Fairy money. It feels whimsy. Yes, it does feel big whimsy. And like, I was like, what, what is this? Like, how does this work? And she was just like, oh, it just means that like my husband not only is not allowed to click on that because they have all shared accounts. Yeah, like any purchase in there, you're not allowed to query. It was the fairies. If he sees me with a new top, it was the fairies.

That's brilliant. I am obsessed with everything about that. Watch out, Steve. We're getting fairies in our house. Now, if you've always wanted to share your broke tips or maybe a money win that you're particularly proud of, please join our She's On The Money Facebook group, because we love it there. Jess is in there and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, we're going to take a quick break. But when we get back, we're answering this week's money dilemma. And this one is hashtag couple goals.

So stay tuned. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's On The Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to

our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hello, incredible people. I have a pervy, maybe like a little drama sort of question. A family member of mine has recently just got engaged, which is amazing. I mean, it's been a long time coming and I'm so happy for them. But it sparked some thoughts in my own head and I've talked about engagement and all that sort of stuff with my boyfriend and we are long-term and we believe that we'll probably get engaged in the next two or so years. I told him not this year, we've still got stuff to work through. But I am really curious to see everyone's opinions on money conversations

you should have before engagement because I mean we know what to talk about during dating and all that sort of stuff you've got videos on that but before engagement is really interesting to me I would love to hear your takes thank you beautiful people bye before getting engaged it makes me think of the ring the ring that you often get engaged to my mind went to the Jess doesn't actually want to get married. The 2002 classic film with the girl that comes out of the TV. Oh, not The Hobbits? No, no.

Oh, okay. I love that, but often it is actually a marketing thing. You do get engaged with a ring, yes. Yeah, often. I got one. Lucky. But what should you be talking about before getting engaged? Jess, if you were going to get engaged,

would your money conversations be different or change? I would like to think if I was getting engaged, we probably would be in a place where we'd had most of the like it's to me getting engaged is not like okay one life stage done level up next life stage like I kind of for me personally in the way that I approach relationships I would think that if we're getting engaged like we're already living effectively the same life that we would be living for me it's the marriage is a social construct yes but that's what I meant but yes it's it's just like it's a get out no no it's just it's it's a milestone doing it's not necessarily something that changes

but I also know that that's very different for some people it might be that you are not living together you can't live together till you're married and then that's a very different thing that you have to talk about I think like if you're going to be in a place where you're getting engaged to be married regardless of what your experience is up to that point you would want to make sure that you are on the same page about goals about family planning like is that in your future is that not in your future if it is in your future what does that look like who's gonna stay at home is anyone gonna stay at home how long are you gonna take parental leave like all those sorts of things also like what your ideal future looks like I think it's really important that you dream

with your partner so that you that you're giving fairy money it's giving very money but so that you know where your life together is going because to me in an ideal world you're with this person for the rest of your life that's why you're getting married right is because you think I can't see a future without you and if everything lines up and that's how it works out I think it's important to go well do we want to go the same places do we want to do the same things do we want to execute those things in the same way particularly when it comes to finances yeah you know I mean if one person is traditional well the man works and the woman stays home and raises the children and but the woman is like well I want to work and I want to have a job and a career and a life and

maybe I don't want kids and, you know, that's going to cause conflict. So I think it's important if you just haven't had those very big picture conversations that you need to. And you also need to be on the same page about how you're going to structure your finances. How you choose to do that is totally up to you. Is it a pool of money? Do you keep your individual money? Do you have very money? Do you have very money? There's a million different ways that you could do that, but you have to be in agreement that you're both happy to do it the same way yeah because I think the conflict comes later in life from not being on the same page or not wanting the same things or not being able to communicate openly yeah and so I think if you can get in front of that bus

it's going to save you a lot of trouble down the track you know yeah well I would like to cut and paste what Jess said yep and then I've said all of that as well you're so smart well it worked in the same way for us like my husband and I before we got engaged we'd already bought a house we'd gotten a dog like all of those conversations had happened so everything that Jess said I think is right but then I feel like there are a lot of engagement questions and stuff that you could be asking as well so as I said before the ring for me that was a really big thing to budget for yeah And like my husband had like ideas and thoughts on the ring that he wanted to incorporate and then things that I liked.

And there was a big conversation beforehand to be like, is it in the budget? What does that budget look like? And I think that that's really normal these days to have like, yes, it's so whimsy to think he went out and purchased a dream ring. But I'm telling you right now, my husband made a five figure purchase on a whim. I'm pissed. Yeah, totally fair. Like, sorry.

like let's just make sure that that is the right decision to be making for us if I could go back and do it again girl I'd get a lab diamond hands down I want a lab diamond every day of the week I do not want like a mind diamond to me waste of money like you can quote me on that and I have even said that to my husband I said I wish we had more education and like it was more common knowledge I knew that a lab diamond existed I didn't know where to get one yeah I didn't know how you would approach that like and now they're literally everywhere why are we wasting money on something that's chemically identical yeah and then questions about like oh if we get engaged and you don't need to lose the whimsy but like if we get engaged would we have an engagement party

is that engagement party part of the wedding budget if we're getting engaged are we just getting engaged or is it actually the intent to get married because I have a couple of friends who are like oh I don't actually want to get married but I want the ring yeah like they're just like I just want that commitment I want something on my finger like I love the idea of that but I can't be bothered with the whole schmuzzle of actually getting married yeah where are you guys standing in relation to this have you discussed whether life changes when you get married or not like are there expectations or not on that and don't be like oh no of course there's not you could be surprised but your partner would be like oh yeah well actually

I always thought Jess you'd stop working once we got married and you go sorry what yeah do you know what I mean like they could surprise you and I'm not saying in a bad way but they could surprise you with some of the things that they say about what their ideal marriage looks like yeah well I have one to add actually are you going to change your name or not no I'm gonna make my husband take my name by as you should no but do you really again I feel like that once upon a time And that was just like an assumption that was made. Whereas I feel like now, at least for me, like I don't think I would want to necessarily change my name.

But like for some people, it might be assumed that it's traditional. I know that's not money related, but exactly. I didn't. I didn't want to. It's important to talk about. My husband said that it was really important that we had the same name and that our children had the same name. So that's fantastic.

Change your name. That is absolutely fantastic. You can have that. Yeah. We can all have the same name. So Harvey and Campbell Divine. Yeah. And I've got a very progressive husband.

Like he was more like, oh, I just want it to be consistent. I think that that's really nice. And I was kind of like, well, I don't want to lose my name. And like there's so many different like nuances to that conversation. There's like the feminist route. To be honest, my driver wasn't because I'm a strong independent woman. It's literally because my dad has three sisters. All of them changed their names.

My dad is the last divine. he had two daughters yeah if I change my name and my sister changes my name no more divines yeah I was like I really like divine I would like that to carry on and that was a very cool choice to be able to make yeah and you know looking at my husband's family they have other Morrisons like he has a brother who passed it on to his children he has a sister who passed it on to their children I was like how cool to also continue my family name like for me it was a bigger conversation than I'm a strong independent woman. Which if that's the route you want to take is...

If that's your route, pop off queen. But there's, I don't know, there's lots of thought. So yes, I think there's a lot you should talk about pre-engagement. Yeah. Would you like to get into this week's juicy DM, Miss Jessica Ricci? Absolutely. So this week's message says, Hey girls, I think I've backed myself into a financial corner

and I don't know how to get out of it. I said yes to being a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. and at the time I didn't think too much about the cost but now it's all adding up the dress the hands travel accommodation I've done my research and it's looking like it's going to cost between four and five thousand dollars sorry I can technically afford it because I have savings but it will wipe out a huge chunk of my savings and now I've started to feel a little bit resentful which is making me feel like a terrible friend and I'm spiralling. Is this just part of being a wedding, should I have already known,

or is it okay to set a boundary even this late? How do I tell my friend it's stressing me out so much or does she know when this is normal? I know we've said it before, the extravaganza of weddings. I just, I don't understand. I don't understand signing somebody up for $5,000 for no good reason. Anyway, I know we've had this conversation before. I think that if someone is asking you to be in their wedding party like I wouldn't be asking

someone to be a bridesmaid because I was like well then I expect you to travel and I expect you to do all this stuff I would be asking someone to be a bridesmaid because they're really important to me and I want you to be there with me on this big day and like maybe on the morning I want you to help me get ready or like whatever but like I think the expectations stop there I think it's very reasonable for you to say hey I'm not pulling out of the wedding I'm so excited to be a part of this with you but the amount of cost is just too overwhelming for me I can't do it because those activities that you've listed off technically speaking are optional like you have to travel for the wedding I'm assuming but you don't have to do the hens or travel for

the hens you don't have to stay overnight you don't have to do this that and the other I think that if they're expecting you to buy a very expensive dress they should be chipping in I agree I know that that is a very difficult conversation to have though why is it a difficult conversation. Like I just, I would like to like, sorry, split the conversation. Yes. There are ethnic weddings and religious weddings where tradition kind of says that, this is just what it costs. And these are the expectations. I would like to be very clear that we're not talking about those weddings. We're not talking about, you know, I've had friends who have had big Chinese weddings. I've had friends who have had big Indian weddings and it is so different

what the expectations on friends and family are and these are the people I would say that aren't having this conversation. We are talking about very Australian weddings. We are talking about very white girl wedding. Is that right? Like is that fair to say? We're talking about maybe weddings that are being influenced by social media perhaps the Pinterest wedding. The Pinterest wedding that's right we're talking about the Pinterest wedding. People who've watched Acquired Style on a private jet and go how do I get that for my bachelorette. You know people who are being pushed into going bigger and better and crazier because of what they're seeing other people doing yeah i feel like it's important to point out because i don't want you being like oh well i'm

having like a really big religious wedding and my family have been saving up for years and they're going to pay for it and like girl pop off i love that for you but that's a very different conversation than what we are having but that aside i would feel resentful too that's so much money yeah That's heaps of money. So what are you doing, Jess? I've invited you to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. You've done the numbers. You've worked out.

It's going to cost you four and a half grand. I have a little panic attack. I'm going to sit you down. I'm going to say I love you and I want to be a part of this wedding and I'm not trying to pull out. But that cost is not justifiable for me. So are there optional things that I can opt out of? It depends on what the cost.

If there's a $1,000 dress, I'm saying can I find a cheaper dress or are you chipping in for the dress? but if it's you know the hens and you're going for a weekend away and you're paying for pasta making classes or whatever I'd be saying can I maybe just come to one activity yeah you know there are costs where you know if it's an overseas wedding she said there's travel so I'm going well you're traveling somewhere you're maybe flying you're paying for accommodation that you can't really avoid so I'm going what else in the scheme of this wedding is costing me all this money. What things can I pull out? And hopefully, I would hope that you're, I mean,

she's asked you to be a bridesmaid. You're obviously very, very close. She loves you. Correct. She would go, I totally understand. I don't want you to be stressed. The most important thing is you being there with me on the wedding day and everything else should be secondary to that, in my opinion. I agree. And unfortunately, it is not that simple. No, never is. We took this to our community and they had thoughts and feelings and I love this so first we asked is spending four to five thousand dollars on someone else's wedding just part of it surely not or is that crossing a line nine percent of you said it was just part of it which is nine percent more than I thought would respond and then obviously 91 percent said that

is crossing a line our people next we said should brides contribute more to bridesmaids costs yes well 89 of you said yes but 11 of you said no interesting i really wish we had asked the 11 these specific other like give me your two cents questions justify this because as someone who had a wedding i felt sick asking my bridesmaids to do anything but it's the it's always been done of it all do you know what I mean like I think it must come from the 27 dresses you know oh it's insane you buy a dress that you're gonna hem it and wear it again and then you never do I just like and I don't care if people come for me on this if I ask you to be my bridesmaid and I want you to turn up and as the bride I don't want to pay for your dress just you wear whatever you want

yeah if I want you in a specific dress I have to buy it I agree but I think it's just not what's been done which is why we're like maybe these people now we're in a hole of having conversations about going into debt over other people's weddings what if you never have a wedding yourself and you've spent all of this money on other people's weddings and then no one ever spends it on you yeah literally that's wild we could be here all day we then asked have you ever been a bridesmaid and felt financially stretched 46 of you said yes i'm sorry i know like that's a lot then we said what's your two cents first person said obviously you need to have a conversation with your friend your friend would understand because they're your friends that's the obvious

answer right yeah another person said and this just like i don't know it blows my mind it's an honor to be asked to even be a bridesmaid if you accepted you should have known that was going to be part of it nah I love you guys but I fear that take is not a good one five grand also generally speaking when I see the cute little videos online where people propose to their bridesmaids with the box or whatever it's not really like hey will you be a bridesmaid it's gonna cost you x amount like there's not really any way to know until the planning and everything starts I mean yes and no my best friend absolutely knew she was going to be my bridesmaid from before I even had a husband lined up and we talked about that for ages but at no point did we ever talk

about cost no I don't think you and I'm a money person yeah at no point was like oh my god like when you're my bridesmaid ha ha ha how cute's this dress like conversations like that were happening before but it was never like ha ha here's the dress I would get you to buy yeah like that's not the narrative I don't think like it was an exciting aspirational conversation someone said bride here I paid for everything but the dress but I only specified color so I said I wanted a particular color and they just needed a dress I think that's pretty reasonable I think that's reasonable too someone said I've been in five bridal parties and all the brides expected less than a $1,000 contribution from all of us.

Not even $1,000. That's still spending $5,000 on other people's weddings. Yeah, I've had this conversation with a friend and she was like, yeah, it's going to cost me like $600 or whatever it goes to. And I was like, that is so much money. Yeah. Someone said being in a wedding party shouldn't cost you a cent. Someone else said, I'm Irish, so we got married in Ireland.

We paid for all the bridesmaids' costs, of course. And I think like that's the way to go. Yeah. I understand that's a big expectation, but. And then I've got a two-parter from one person. Coming from a bride myself who isn't having a bridal party for this very reason, it's expensive, if you want bridesmaids to look a certain way, you're going to have to pay for it.

Yeah, I do agree. Like, that's a very real option. Yeah. You can get married without having a bridal party. Yeah, that's a great point. Like, you didn't need the bridal party. and if you can't afford to have the bridal party and pay for all their dresses and their shoes and their hair and their makeup well maybe that's not part of the wedding budget yeah because it's not

for them it's for your photos or for your aesthetic of your wedding yeah exactly to look like that oh i don't know i would argue that actually because for me having bridesmaids wasn't a part of my aesthetic it was i mean having them oh yeah yeah but it was because i wanted my best friends standing beside me but i mean if they could wear anything yeah if it's about the person being there it shouldn't matter if they all have matching hair or matching dresses or whatever like when you cross into specifics that's because you want it yeah another person said if you can't afford it just say so stop hiding behind it being uncomfortable like yeah but it's awkward yeah like saying oh hey Jess like I said yes to this and now I feel like I'm backtracking is a hard conversation

to have this is a safe space yeah someone else said I'm Chinese Australian absolutely no way would anyone in my wedding pay and again that's why I was like I want to outline this that different cultures have different cultures have different yeah someone else said I actually got uninvited to a wedding because I couldn't afford to attend the hen's party I'll dm you the tv that's horrific and I can't wait for you to show me all the details later dm me the tea I love it and then someone said and I'm going to leave it on this one bridal parties are supposed to be your closest friends. You should be looking after them. So a money conversation should be no different. I completely agree. The Pinterest of it all has skewed everything so crazily out of proportion.

Exactly as you were saying, the concept of a bridal party is the people you love are there sharing the moment with you and everything else around that is unnecessary if you don't want it. Couldn't agree more. All right. Well, there you have it, my friends. That is the wedding wrap. thank you for joining us from your car from your laptop in your ears have a really good weekend to look after each other and we'll see you on monday for a brand new episode of money diaries bye guys the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy

a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa, PTY, LTD, ABN, 321-649-27708, AFSL 451-289. you