She's On The Money - Calling You In: Financial Decisions That Are Killing Your Cashflow

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the financial decisions that are quietly killing your cashflow. Whether it’s a daily $8 iced oat latté or a late night snack that becomes a weekly tradition, it’s time we faced these innocuous transactions that are getting in the way of our money goals. Because while they may only seem like a few dollars here and there, they all add up. On this week’s Deep Dive, Victoria and Bec unpack the psychology behind our sometimes questionable spending behaviours and how we might overcome them to better build our wealth. Because friends don’t let friends make terrible money decisions.  BREAK THE BNPL CYCLE: Caught in a Buy Now, Pay Later loop? Break free with our blog on the subject over here. Or visit our shesonthemoney.com/blog and search ‘BNPL’. BACK TO BASICS: Need to rewrite your budget? Here, grab a copy of ours over here and at shesonthemoney.com/download-resources. SHOP AND SAVE? Tune into this playlist that’s all about saving while you shop https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4OAhk14TQ5Xv0uEFIwRrNE?si=hHecvxHQSFSn-sCMQzB5jA New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett (nartarshabamblett.com.au) The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 4451289 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. My name's Natasha Bamblett. I'm a proud First Nations woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today.

Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's on the money podcast, acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast that helps you feel more in control of your financial future. You've joined us for a deep dive where we're going to do just that, Bec. We're diving headfirst into a subject from the world of money and mindset so that our community can come out with a deeper understanding of it all. As I mentioned, today I am being joined by none other than Miss Bec Syed.

Hi. And Bec, I can't wait to hear your take on this topic. I feel like I've blindsided you, but you are ready, I promise. I'm ready, I'm ready. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to dive into things. So why do I have the feeling this week's subject is going to be a little bit polarising?

Because it is. Okay, cool. I have been jumping up and down for the last couple of weeks telling people because I think people sometimes want to hear what they want to hear, not what they need to hear. And sometimes when it comes from me, you go, Victoria, you were my friend. And I go, yes, I am, but I actually care deeply about you. And sometimes I need to tell you things that are going to put you in the best possible position. Like sometimes I'm not your best friend. Sometimes I'm your big sister. Like I still love

you. You think I'm annoying sometimes, but I really do deeply want the best for you. Scary. So let's just preface it with this episode might get a little bit uncomfortable for you. We're talking about something that thrives in group chats and open tabs everywhere, I would say. They're the financial decisions that are killing your cash flow. You know exactly what I'm talking about, Bec, and our community knows as well. It's that impulse buy. It's the little sweet treat that gets you through a hard week.

Or maybe it's the regular expense with the more long-term consequences. Whether, my friend, you are in denial or you've become quite skilled at defending questionable money decisions with excuses like, oh, Victoria, but you should see my cost per use. This week, unfortunately, I step up to call you out and kindly call you out, obviously, and hopefully call you into reconsidering your spending behavior. Because as I said, I just genuinely want what's best for you. to walk you through it we're going to be sharing some of the psychology behind these behaviors some of the more common yet questionable money decisions both we and our community have defended

before and finally habits that will actually help you build wealth but before we get there miss beck syed let's go to a really short break don't go anywhere my friends welcome back i know that you aren't going to be surprised by this but humans don't always make the most rational decisions when it comes to our financial behaviours, Bec. That's crazy. I can't understand why. I just, I want to know why we're like this. I mean, I can understand that people have different upbringings and stuff like that, but I know that there are plenty of people who seem to do well and can manage their money, but why do so many of us still make questionable choices when, like in most situations, we do know better?

Technically, we know better. Technically. Well, if we have a little bit of a step back, we can look at the neuroscience of it all. And there's actually a lot more at play. Now, for those of you playing along, I'm not just Googling some neuroscience. I'm not a neuroscientist, but I actually do have two psychology degrees. Go figure. That's crazy. Your girl is an overachiever at best. Seriously. I try very hard, but also that's what I thought I used to want to do before I discovered finance. And then I realized I could marry psychology and finance and impact your behavior yeah that's sick they kind of go hand

in hand they to me they do and like i love it but i think that you deserve that i guess background on me if we haven't met before so while you might think that as adults we're pretty good at cost based analysis in reality most of our consumer purchasing decisions literally research tells us that it's 90% of them are driven by our limbic system, which is the lizard part of our brain that controls our drive and our emotions. I love her. So Beck, you get to blame your lizard brain. And this isn't because we are purely emotional creatures. It's because the systems actually work completely subconsciously and they actually take less of a toll to use on our mental load than rational decision making okay okay so that's why we'd be a little impulsive totally i think

it's really good to know so it's like kind of like not my fault i enjoy impulse buyers it's my it's your limbic system it is your limbic system it is your brain okay your fault i can work with that that and there's a whole bunch of things like dopamine and all of the psychological levers that are pulled when we make financial decisions while there is beck as you probably know a lot of information out there about shopping and how it has the ability to release dopamine in us you know this idea of like retail therapy it's actually really about the anticipation not the actual ownership of that item that thrills us is that right yeah so like you just want to do the thing yeah we're impulsive we want the impulse but it doesn't mean that we need to

own the boots that's so true actually okay like once we've got it that's why we're chasing the next tie huh like we've got the boots okay what's next yes that is so true so what you're saying is anything rewards based has the potential to deliver that dopamine hit but there's a bigger payoff in the moment before you buy something that makes it feel so good exactly okay it's like drugs literally we just keep going back for that dopamine hit and it's really good like at the end of the day that's why it happens that's why addictions form and that's why a retail shopping addiction is actually a genuine addiction. And I think some people just flip it off and be like, oh, this isn't legitimate. Oh, she's just justifying her spending. It is legitimate.

It is a feeling inside of you that you can sometimes not control. So I think it's really important to point that out as well. And as we've seen, this has actually been proven throughout the rise of South Korea. So there are dopamine sites that they have developed, which are basically fake online stores that are created in order to simulate that feeling of shopping. You've got fake items, fake carts, fake delivery trackers that they give you, and it purely fuels this behavior because you're like, I'm going to do the fake thing. Send me a tracking. Oh, it's coming. Oh my God. That's genius. I mean, it never arrives, but that's okay. But what's most interesting is even these sites use a whole bunch of different psychological

strategies to make us want to buy things even more. Oh, okay. Dirty dogs. Yeah. They're like gamifying the fake shopping. Yeah, I see. Which I think is really interesting. Do you mean like sales offers or dark design tactics or like how they, do you go somewhere

else to purchase or it's like on the website? Why not both? Why not both? Why not both? And once I start reeling them off, you're going to know exactly what I'm talking about. So there's this whole thing called present bias where we often overvalue immediate rewards relative to the ones that we might receive in the future. So an example of this is the free shipping threshold.

Yes. So how often have you bought an extra thing that you actually didn't meet just to meet the free delivery threshold? Oh my God, all the time. Or have it upgraded to express? Like, I do that too. And I always have to catch myself. like the other day I bought a jacket online and I'd been looking at this jacket for a really long

time and I knew once it came in stock I wanted to purchase it so I've been a bit I don't know creeping on the website um and I was checking if they had it in stock yet they didn't and like I do this like every week I don't know if that's crazy behavior or if I just really knew I wanted it I get it anyway the second it came in stock I was super excited add it to my cart the second the cart said another $90 until free shipping. I was like, I better check the rest of the store. Yes, yes, yes. No. $90 is quite a jump, but how is it possible? Anyway, I checked myself and spent my $6 on shipping and it is what it is. So it wasn't

great, but I did what I did. That's okay. You're allowed. And like, because the reward is immediate, it seems like a better deal than it actually might be. Yeah. Because like, obviously they're getting an extra 90 bucks out of me for covering my six dollar shipping yeah like that's that's not a good deal that's me spending more money totally in my head it makes sense yeah and it's like oh I wonder what other item you could enjoy but I'm like well that's silly that's but I'm just we're just victim to the victim to the system to the system exactly our little lizard brains can't deal with it and I want to come back to this point of

the conversation a little bit later but this is also a strategy that many buy now pay later platforms actually completely exploit. Think about it. The immediate reward of getting that thing that you want now completely outweighs the ongoing pain of the purchase once you have it and having to pay it back. Even if it is better or more financially responsible for you to wait until you can afford it, you just want to buy it in the moment because you're like, but I want it now like even if technically beck do you need it you'll be like no but like i need it like i want it like and it's so crazy how we can individually confuse needs for needs yeah and wants for wants like wants for needs and needs for wants you know what i mean yeah and i'll go beck do you need it

and you go yeah and i'll go yes is it crucial and critical to your survival and you're gonna go yes i need another brown jumper like yes i do and like but we get confused with our own feelings because like internally you deeply want want that right totally so it feels like a need yes so i don't want you guys thinking i don't get it like i too i'm just a girl like i too suffer from this um and it's something that i have to consistently check myself on that's very comforting to know that even you have a lizard brain. You have a lizard brain. So okay sneaky sneaky sneaky what other tricks are used to take advantage of our limbic brain? Okay so lots of businesses like to use our lizard brain and heaps of businesses will appeal to our sense of loss

aversion and our perceptions of the status quo. So this might actually be a little bit more common than you think and it probably affects you in ways that you hadn't considered before. This isn't just that feeling that you get when you miss out on a really good sale a gift with purchase maybe you're and you might not resonate with this but lots of my friends are going to resonate with this your next mecca beauty loop box these might be the reason why you haven't switched banks or insurance providers like yes because the idea here is that somewhere deep down you are reluctant to lose the consistency or the comfort of what you're currently receiving yeah you really like it I get it we like we humans we like being comfortable and change is deeply uncomfortable

absolutely even if it's not financially benefiting you the idea of switching or you having to inconvenience yourself back it triggers this loss aversion and you put it off and it ultimately costs you more in the long term. Yes. How many times have you thought, I could probably get a better phone plan? Can't be bothered though. I don't want to do it. Like it's going to put me out. I'm going to be inconvenienced. That's actually triggering your loss aversion and you feel like that's a loss, even though it's actually going to be a gain. Yes. But your body is telling you, I'm losing something. Like you're not, your lizard brain's not articulating that, but you're getting that feeling of loss with the idea that you would have to do some work to achieve that

yeah yeah yeah true rude i know so it's not just because the process is painful you're saying that deep down somewhere i would rather maintain the status quo even if it costs me more just to avoid change or you're kind of like losing that yeah the familiarity the comfort of it all that like it does it kind of sucks to like humans inherently hate change yes we hate it we don't like it it's scary yeah and like this could be like small things like if you caught the train to work and there was like it went down a different train line you inherently wouldn't have liked that even if it got you to the same place same time you just don't like that it took a different route because that's not the route you would drive it's why when we're in the car

with our friends and they're the driver and you're driving to somewhere that you know and they go a different route. Is it a bad thing, Bec? Not necessarily. No, because you still got to the same location. That's stressful. But you didn't like it because they turned left when you would usually like turn right. Yeah. And you deeply don't like that because your lizard brain likes consistency. Yes, that makes so much sense. Your lizard brain is like, no, this is not the same. I want the same. Same, same. So I want you to think also of cognitive overload. So that decision fatigue that comes with shopping around. You know, I thought it was just me, but it's actually no coincidence that you instantly thought of how painful it might be to change providers or get a

better deal or go a different route while your mate's driving. Like that makes me annoyed. Yeah. You know, other people might go, that doesn't annoy me. Yeah, you're probably better than me. Lizard's probably smarter. That's fine. But this is something called prospect theory. And it shows us that we also feel the pain of losses roughly twice as intensely as the pleasure of receiving gains wow isn't that rude that's really annoying so like the little scale goes up a little bit if we're happy and then down twice as low if we don't oh cool exactly cool cool cool so it's not us again i want to remind you it's your lizard brain not you yeah and research shows us that

even if we know about these strategies even if I teach you even if I go back study this tell me what is that strategy you go yep got it on paper yep there's no guarantee that we're going to be less susceptible to them totally like you're still going to get it and so many of them are about operating on this subconscious level or falling back to our limbic lizard brain it's like evolutionarily we're before even the economy or any kind of like trade whether it's money or whatever it's like we're just we were built for this um we're built to be victims to capitalism exactly and it's so annoying because like how many times beck do i say well if you know better you can do better and like i always say that and it's like about me personally like i'm like cool

if I learn, I can do better. Yeah, well, maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe we can learn and know better and then not do better. Exactly. So like, do we stand a chance? And are there any hacks to making more financially responsible decisions? Yes, there are. I didn't do this episode to make us feel bad about ourselves. Exactly. I think what might be most helpful is if we work on a case-by-case basis using examples from our community, Bec, and we're going to sink our teeth in right after this break. All right, Ms. Bex Sayed, we are back with another deep dive episode devoted to the psychology of spending. We're just about to unpack some of your most unhinged financial decisions. Recently, we asked our community to share some of the money habits

that you just can't quit. Now, I say this lovingly. I say this like your big sister. I'm scared. Sometimes some of you are making hectic money choices. And I am here to kindly remind you that there are plenty of other, sometimes better choices you could be making so that you can actually afford the lifestyle you want and the lifestyle I believe you deserve. Gorgeous. Like you do deserve to be financially well off, Bec.

So does everybody in our community. we've got to find a way for you to not work against yourself yeah okay help me help you help me help you help me help you yeah oh yeah so I've got a few messages and comments from our community and I thought you could go through I've given you some screenshots thank you you could go through and read some of the questions from our community and I can tell you what interventions suggestions or things I would suggest as a response. Perfect. Okay. I love this. I love this. It feels like a game. So first one we have is from Emmy. If it's on sale in big signs and stickers and bright lights and whatever other marketing ploy they try, it gets me nearly every

time. So what would you do in this situation? Does this get you too? Because like same, it's almost like if they put sale on it, I'm paying attention even if I didn't want it. I'm like, oh, but what is on sale? I mean, and you know, the back rat knives always 90% off. I'm Like, well, I've got to buy one. 90%. Why are they always 90% off, though? I have questions. I know.

Is this right? Exactly. All right, Emi, this sounds a little bit like framing, where offers might not actually be as good as they seem. Like, let's have a think about why they might need the big red sign to sell something to you. Right, right, right. Like, if it was so good, wouldn't it sell without the big red sign

and the bright lights and the flashy things? So true. But they're getting my attention in another way. And you know what? this lizard loves? Clashy, shiny things. What I would be doing is investigating that offer. So is it actually a competitive deal or is it just marketing? I also want you to revisit your money goals. Let's remember what you're aiming for and stay focused because even if it is cheap and you know what gets me? Sometimes I will justify it to myself literally there in the shop.

probably like knowing full well, I don't need the new top. Wow. It's on sale. And then I look at the like fabric and I'm like, wow, that's like wool and cotton. Like that's really good construction Beck. Like that's not fake. Like that's good. Do you know what? 50 bucks for that? That's a good deal. I might have to pick one up. Why? But I get it. We need to remind ourselves, was this actually in my budget? Was I planning to purchase this? Could I potentially put 24 hours between me and my spending on this item? And maybe let's add a buffer. Present bias, like it causes us to overvalue immediate rewards. So maybe that 24 hours between you and your spending is going to mean that the sale tomorrow looks a little bit dimmer. Yeah. And that's what we're hoping for,

right? Totally. You know, you could do, if something's $50, you could be like, instead of buying it, you say, oh my God, I found 50 bucks on the ground. And you've just put it into your bank account yeah that's a better deal you know what i mean and you know what every day i would prefer to find 50 bucks on the ground yeah that's a good way to put it hey thank you now beck the next one okay was common what is it so this one comes from lizzie and you're reading this holding your paper coffee cup i i need to get a keep cup i do but i'm not attacking the coffee cup okay okay read these out now so lizzie says takeaway coffee okay what did t say perfectly good machine at home it just doesn't hit the spot i understand i really get it mine hits the spot

come to my house i'm gonna make you an at-home coffee and i think you'll be like victoria that is it i've got it down what do you do and then we've got it's a breville it's a breville like that's not a paid thing but like as you know i'm in love with my breville and i will tell everybody i well i personally have started adding things like i'll put milo in mine like something to make it delicious and so i look forward to it but we have a few of these so t said what t said coffee at work even though i bought a coffee machine that i have at home so i wouldn't need one at work i just drink more coffee i think it is the social aspect of it all totally jess said eight dollar ice latte oh my god isn't that astronomical it is i've seen ten dollar ones

though isn't it no so rude tanika said coffee every day um piano trees beautiful name my eight dollar iced oat latte that briefly gives me the will to live each morning 100 honestly fair and Susie says my daily coffee so these are very common yeah I guess like we all got done we get it and we are all on the same boat and do you know what Bec I did this literally yesterday yeah I got up I had a coffee with my husband at home I even have been like practicing my latte art gorge coffee and historically Bec I've only needed one coffee in the morning and then maybe I'll like crave one at like 3 p.m fine that's my that's my like i don't know little roster had my coffee got to the office alicia goes anyone want a coffee immediately me yep yep i do i want a coffee yeah why did i

need it no i just wanted to join in i know i know sometimes it's like having a tea sometimes the the i don't want a tea i want a coffee totally but you know it sounds like do you want a tea and you're like the energy of it all like popping the kettle on it's so cozy but the actual drinking of the tea or the coffee is like well I could have gone without I do need an oat latte but let's talk about interventions for this because my queens I get it I want you to track your spending so I'm not saying don't get the coffee because I've said time and time again if coffee is something that you really deeply value and you want to keep it in your budget you will but what you will do is understand what it actually costs you so you won't just go oh but I can't get rid of it you'll

go, Victoria, I know on average I spend X per year on coffee and I'm actually pretty comfortable with that because it gives me enough value. Whereas on the flip side, I might turn around and be like, Bec, hey, did you know you spend $2,000 a year on takeaway coffees? And you're going to go, oh, that makes me deeply uncomfortable. I don't want to do that. And that's when we can start to facilitate some change. So track your spending, understand exactly how much that is costing you. Also, let's unpack why we're buying it. For me, more often than not, a takeaway coffee out is social. It's not because I'm on my own and I'm like, I just feel like a coffee. I can easily walk past a coffee shop. But Bec, if you and I are together and you say, I'd love a coffee, I got me

too. Why? So you need to understand why you're buying. Is it social? Is it situational? Is it something else let's revisit our money goals remember what you're aiming for and stay focused my friend then remind yourself was this in your budget if not and you keep doing it do we need to factor it in like life unfortunately I'm really sorry for most people life is about compromise you cannot have everything or you cannot have everything all at once at least so if you're going to prioritize your coffee what else are we going to get rid of like what are we going to change in the background so you can still live your best life because like I am not subscribed to this idea of fire at all and I know some of our listeners are and I adore that for you I really

wish I could but like I want to enjoy the journey and I think that most people in our community are also journey girls absolutely the destination sexy but also day-to-day I want to feel like live love laughing absolutely so let's just talk about whether we need to factor that in okay also how do we make this more affordable do we join loyalty programs right do we reframe and go i'm just gonna buy my coffee at bp or at 7 11 in the morning when i'm going past because sorry it's 20 26 that coffee is actually good now it's really good it used to be bad right yeah i get it like i'm not saying oh it used to be that but if you haven't tried a 7-eleven coffee recently i think you would be pleasantly surprised for two dollars delicious right like good beans often most of them

have oat milk options heaps of them just they're good they're good like and this isn't promotional this is just me going stop being a snob yeah and like beck we're from melbourne we're inherently coffee snobs absolutely and that's okay and we love a 7-eleven coffee exactly so that leans into that? How do we make it more affordable? Or do we go, okay, we're going to take away one coffee a week. Sure. Or is it two? So you can have them still, don't worry. But instead of having five, do we do three? Yeah. So you do have tea on two of the other days, but have you calculated what that might mean for you and how that could benefit you? And you might go, that's worth it. Like that's good. Also, can we add some friction? How hard can I make this for myself? Right?

So do I take my Apple Pay off my phone so every time I need to get a coffee I have to dig through my bag, get my card out, tap it that way? Or do I make a rule where I can only buy coffee if I have cash? Right. Because that would change it a little bit. It makes it harder. And then all of a sudden when things aren't as easy,

you're kind of like, I can't be bothered. Yes, that's so true. And then you're, like, relieved that you don't have to do it because you can't be bothered. Yeah, you're like, oh, yeah, exactly. So that's kind of nice, actually. So this one's from Cass. Shopping when I'm sad.

Did that last week. I'm trying to break that habit. And Macca's breakfast, I'm trying to break that habit as well. Macca's breakfast, I do love. And I get it. That's hard. Bec, name something better than a crispy, perfectly cooked Macca's hash brown. Oh, my God.

I don't think there's anything. No. No, there's a reason they added that to the all-day menu. Yes. There's a reason. They know. They know. They get it.

And do you know what I really love? Yeah. The Macca's brekkie wraps. Oh, yeah. Have you had those? I don't want to promote them because, like, you shouldn't go and spend more money on Macca's breakfast. But, like, the egg, the bacon, they have a really nice sauce.

I really like the spicy one. They put a hash brown in there. It is so good and it is warm and then you can get a Macca's coffee at the same time and that sometimes if I'm working really early mornings, that's, like, my treat for, like, getting up and going to podcast recordings at 7am to get stuff done. Fair enough. I know, right?

but also not fair enough no no I've got a coffee machine at home and we're trying to talk ourselves out of this stuff right so we are going to track our spending I need you to understand exactly how much this emotional habit is costing you let's talk about why you're buying is there a more affordable way to support yourself through these moments like I get it I get sad like I think it's important that our community knows that I'm on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication because I'm not God. And you know what? I've tried to take myself off them before because I'm like, I don't need this. Life's good again. It's just my brain. Yeah. Like if I am not medicated, I am sad and that is okay. And I'm dealing with it. But my spending was really

reflective of my mental health early on and every time I've gone off my medication I'm not promoting medication but I think you guys deserve transparency in these spaces not me going Beckett's it's not good that you're sad yeah and move on like I get it you know what makes me feel good spending you know what makes me feel better knowing that I'm going to be really rich one day true and like we need to look at the bigger picture yeah and sometimes the bigger picture is as blunt as that yeah like we're not going beck reframe it you'll get a bigger one later like beck do you want to be rich as f yeah exactly yeah how do we work towards that so like let's unpack it but also let's work out why are you sad what's going on is there something that we could

help you with like could you call up a friend and just have a chat and sometimes something that really helped me i hated being told i'll just call a friend because like i thought it meant that i'd have to call back up and be like hey bec i feel sad you don't yeah call and check on your friend because like i'll call up and be like hey bec how are you just was thinking of you want to have a chat and all of a sudden we're having the conversation that i needed to have to boost my serotonin and my dopamine like i'm feeling good because i just checked in with a friend yeah we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to could you go for a walk or are you only getting Macca's breakfast and shopping when you're with a particular friend? Do we need to identify

that and potentially change the way that we interact with that friend? I also, again, need to remind you, ask yourself these questions. Is it in your budget? Do you actually need it? Have you factored it into your budget? If not, maybe we need it later. Maybe we need it next month. Revisit your money goals again. Remember what you are aiming for and stay focused. and how do we make it more affordable for you could we go to Macca's less could we find a more cost-effective way to self-soothe ourselves totally like what does that mean like go for a walk maybe we reframe it and the game is you go to Chadston and the goal is to not buy anything but we can look and we can take notes on everything that you want you could take pictures

of stuff so that you can file them away for when you achieve something that you go I really do want those jeans i'm gonna go back and get them because i deserve them yeah also this obviously doesn't apply to like clinical impressions just like if you feel if you're feeling low like these this this really could work um and i think going for a walk it's like so like when i feel sad and people tell me that i'm like i i want to punch you walk but i will lay down forever and then and then i'm like well i'll reluctantly i won't walk i'll i actually hate being told but it is crazy it kind It is crazy and, like, I hate to say it, but my mum was right. Yeah.

Sometimes you need to get out of bed. Yeah. And even if you're not enjoying this, because I get it, sometimes just get out of bed, have a shower, go for a walk, make sure you've had some water and eaten something. Then we can talk about how you're feeling. Yes. And I'd be like, fine. Yes, exactly, exactly. Fine.

Okay, this next one comes from Steph. So Steph says that they've been spending too much on gifts. I've spent $2,000 in the last three months alone. and help. Oh my goodness. That's so much money. Very generous. I wish I was Steph's friend. Okay. We're going to have to ask ourselves a few questions here. Is it just a bit of a busy like birthday gifting season? Like, you know, I know the time that I asked this, it wasn't Christmas, but is it like every single family member's birthday ever? Or is something else happening? I want you to unpack why you're spending this much. Comparison culture sucks.

there's like fixed ideas around gifting do you have fixed ideas around gifting or generosity are you feeling maybe like you're obliged to spend certain amounts and why revisit your budget i said this time and time again for me at christmas time i require a budget like i have a specific christmas budget beck you're on it because otherwise i could go ham Gifting is my love language. So I need to write down all of the people. There is a free gifting spreadsheet on the She's On The Money website for Christmas spending. I gave you mine, but I write down every single person and I'll go like, Beck, Jess, Brooke, you know what I mean? And then I go, how much do I want to spend on each person? And I might go $50. And in my head, $50 is not that

bad for a gift. So I go, oh, that's not too bad. No worries. But then I've got Beck, Jess, Brooke, and all of a sudden I can see the tally and I haven't spent anything yet, but I'm just allocating how much I want to spend on you. And I realized I'm at 150 bucks already. And then I go, is that reasonable? Is that feasible? No. Maybe I want to spend $30 per gift or maybe it's different. Maybe I want to spend $100 per gift. Whatever your number is, it doesn't actually matter. But sometimes when we can like write down what our gift spending is that will make us reassess and I think it's more thoughtful so don't get me wrong I might be stripping money off your gift but I'm now going to go oh actually I cut the budget now I've only got 40 bucks for Beck

now I'm deeply thinking about what I can buy for Beck instead of going I'm just going to go shopping and see what I can find and just pick a random thing that I think fits Beck yeah like and then you're going to go oh actually Beck really she's like quite a generous person but loves like experiences over things like what could I do for Beck like I'm thinking a little bit more deeply about that person yeah and I think that that's really nice but revisiting your budget you could do this for birthdays you could do this for the rest of the year as well so you know write down all the people that you buy birthday gifts for and set yourself an annual budget. So that you go, okay, every birthday I can only spend X, but I'm going to think about

this all year. Keep a list in your phone of ideas. Mine's creepy. I love it. I've got a list of ideas for you. I've got a list of ideas for Jess. I've got a list of ideas for my husband as things come up that I'm like, oh, I know that Beck never has X, Y, Z. Maybe I could put that into a gift for her at some point. Think about that person. Are they an acts of service person? Write a really nice letter to them, bake someone their favorite dessert or make them something. And then also create a buffer, like wait a day before purchasing to create friction and give yourself some consideration time. And if you say, Victoria, I can't create a buffer because I buy the gift on the day. That's a recipe for blowing your budget every single time. If it's helpful at all,

Because I know that I've, when I was with my girlfriend, we kind of had a lot of discussions about, like, I would spend a lot of money on gifts, but it was only because I would, like, see things and just, like, immediately want to buy her. I'd see her favorite chocolates. I'd want to buy it immediately. Like, I'm not even thinking. And same with my friends and stuff. And so what I did instead was I created albums in my phone and it would be labeled all the things that made me think of you or all the things that I wanted to buy of you throughout the day. And then you just put like, and it could be like for all these friends, like say something they really like. I have a friend that loves Minions randomly.

I'll see that. I would take a photo, put it in that album, that album's for her, and she would see all the things that made me think of her in that day or in that week or whatever. And so if it satisfies that need for you to let your friend or your partner or someone know that you've thought about them, seen something they like, you can send it to them via photo. And I feel like that's just as satisfying sometimes. So try that if that doesn't. That's really cute. You're going to make someone so happy. And I hope that they're in the She's On The Money community.

Sweet. Maybe. Just like a little like reminder if anyone wants to slide into Bex DMs. Freshly single. She's ready. Who's next? Who's next? Okay.

Rachel. Oh, maybe it's Rachel. Next is Rachel. Rachel says, I use PayPal Payton 4. Thankfully, I don't have any other buy now pay later, but I keep justifying bigger purchases with PayPal. Yeah, it's a slippery slope. I totally get it. What would you do?

I unfortunately do the same and I use it a lot. But the other thing – Rebecca signed. I know, I know, but I'm obsessed. We have talked about this. I know, I know, but I want you to know I'm so like – because I've gone to a point where I'm so scared of debt now that I pay it off and it feels so satisfying.

I'll pay off each thing one by one. I don't do a bulk pay. I'll see the satisfaction of being like $7.23 here and like, you know, and so I think that it's not good. No, no, I've been trying to reframe this. for you. When you sign up to these things, are you like, Victoria's in my head? You absolutely are. I'm so sorry. You are a grown woman with free will. You can make your own decisions. I just care about you and want what's best for you. Thank you. I think I'm just impressed that

because I was bankrupt, I couldn't get after pay or anything like that. And now you have it. You're like shiny. And now it's like kind of cool. But you are in my head. I want you to know at all times. You're welcome. Especially when you do Wordle. Oh, yeah, especially when you do Wordle. Anyway, both of us have the same word all start word, which is audio. Yeah, I reckon that we're not the only ones. Anyway, my friend Rachel, track your spending. I need you to understand how much you're actually spending and how much you actually owe because it's very likely that you have your head buried in the sand because if you're doing buy now

pay later on any platform because PayPal buy in for is a buy now pay later as well, you probably don't have a really good understanding of how much you can actually afford because like if you've got the cash in your bank and you can actually afford it you wouldn't have needed that service that's so we're probably shooting ourself in the foot a little bit there and letting it enable you now I would add a buffer I would literally put a day between my spending at least to make sure that we're curbing that present bias and really understanding that the anticipation of the purchase is usually better than the other thing. Also, let's reframe it. Instead of buy now, pay later, and you get the item right now, Bec, what if I said to you, hey, Bec, you can

have this item in a month. I need you every week to give me 20 bucks. And then at the end of the month, I'll give it to you. Yeah, like lay by. Do you still want it? Probably not. Cool. Because you're not going to wait for it so ask yourself would you be willing to wait for this item like hypothetically if this item was out of stock and it said delivery shipment is the first of next month would you go don't worry about it probably you don't need it yeah probably not you don't need it don't need it stop it like tap you on the wrist stop this it's a great the other thing i want you to do is set really clear financial goals and budget accordingly if it's not in the budget sorry, you can't afford it. I'm sorry. Like, I don't want to be that person. But I think

sometimes I have to be like, Beck, stop it. You can't afford this. And you go, yeah, you're right. Like, and that's okay. Make your own decisions. But like, I don't want to enable you. Also, just like a final little note on buy now pay laters. It is the second most common form of debt in Australia at the moment, right behind credit cards. In 2025, the Australian Financial Securities Authority found that 48.9% of all debtors had at least one by now pay later debt with the average balance creeping up from $820 per person in 2024 to $1,110 in March this year. Okay. So it's not the $7 that you were quoting before. Most of us actually have more than $1,000 of debt if we are using this. Why is that important to our community, you might ask me?

Because women are still outspending men when it comes to buy now, pay later. And Gen Y and Gen Z are leading adoption rates at 59% and 57% respectively. Whilst it might seem like a really good idea at the time, it is truly only a disguise of a deeper issue, my friends, that maybe you can't actually afford what you're buying or that it's time to adjust your budget and your financial goals to actually reflect your lifestyle. Just because you've got the cash right in your account in that moment does not mean you can afford it. Another rule that I saw one of my friends mention the other day, she was like, Victoria, I have started telling myself that if I couldn't buy the item three or four times, I can't afford it. And I'm like, oh, that's a good

one so three like times three or four the actual like let's say something something's a hundred dollars yeah if you can't buy four of them yeah if you don't have the cash in your account to buy four of them oh you shouldn't be buying it hell yeah okay i like that and like there's just different things and i share this not because i'm like oh that's the perfect strategy but like sometimes a little thing sticks in your brain and that's the thing that helps make a change totally so let's throw so many of them at your wall and see what sticks and see what works for you because you might go, you're right, that little strategy works for me. Cash flow systems might work for somebody else. Adding up how much every single coffee is costing you every month

or every year might work for another person. Someone else might add it up and be like, I don't notice it, so I don't mind. Everything is going to look different for different people. Yes. Okay. Something's got to stick, surely. Exactly. And my friend, I think we're going to wrap it there. Friends don't let friends make terrible money decisions, Bec. That's true. They just don't. And that's all, unfortunately, we have time for today. If you have felt a little bit confronted by this episode, just know that I would hug you if I saw you in person.

And maybe you also learned something new. I hope you learned something new. Tell us about it. You can hit us up in our DMs or you can leave us a comment or a review, or you can join our She's on the Money Facebook group to share your stories of reckless spending and recovery in our next money wins post otherwise my friends thank you for tuning in and being part of our community we will catch you later in the week for another episode of friday drinks take care of yourselves and of each other bye the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and

should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs victoria divine and she's on the money are authorized representatives of money sherpa pty ltd abn 321-649-27708 afsl 451-289 We'll be right back.