She's On The Money - DIY Investing vs Managed Portfolios: Which One Should You Choose? And How to Avoid a Black Friday Budget Blowout

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

If you’ve ever heard “managed portfolio” and thought… okay but what actually are they, this one’s for you. We break down what “managed” really means in practice, how they differ from your usual ETF mix, and the moments when outsourcing the mental load might make more sense than being your own fund manager. Then we get into a dilemma that had the whole office screaming: a partner who treats sales season like a competitive sport. The list is long, the logic is loose, and the budget is… trembling. We’re chatting values, boundaries, and how to keep your spending intentional when marketing is doing the absolute most. Plus your favourite money wins, broke tips, and a few chaotic detours along the way. Want to learn how to invest (or just get your money sorted)? Our Bundle Sale is live! Up to 30% off our most-loved courses and tools, to help you feel clear, confident, and in control. Check it out here. Need the team’s take on your money dilemma? Send us a voicemail here.Or if it's more of a spicy money drama and you want the communities verdict? Slide into our DMs here.  Ready for more laughs, lessons, and unhinged money chats? Check out our oh-so-bingeable Friday Drinks playlist. Listen here. Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gulinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yambina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan, mumubangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,

bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. She's on the money. She's on the money. hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that makes personal finance fun especially on fridays it is our favorite day of the week because we get to get together and celebrate you and my ailing voice yeah how beautiful she's on the money community the incredible Miss Jessica Ricci is going to be sharing our favourite money wins. Miss Bex Syed as always has a few cheeky broke tips lined up for us and we're going to be helping to answer

a money dilemma, wanting to know more about managed portfolios and whether they're a good option and something that you slid into our DMs about this week. What do you do when your partner is getting a little bit too obsessed with Black Friday? Miss Jessica Ricci, could you maybe resonate with that question? Do you think James? I might be the partner. Yes. Do you think James is written into the show? Help me. There's so many boxes arriving at our door. No, you know what? I feel like that's where me sometimes working from home has come in clutch because I hear them come in and I just like usher them into my office. I'm like, ha ha ha, no package here. I don't know what you're talking about. Definitely not besties with the postman.

Exactly. Before I get to our question for the team, would you guys like to hear a little bit of a five-star review? Of course. All right, this one is from MED Loves Photography. Cute. Five stars. Listening to She's On The Money

has honestly changed my life and my whole perspective on money. I've set up an emergency fund, started investing with sharesies. I've been contributing extra to super to get it up to where it should be and have a fun money account, which I stick to every week.

Having this system and knowledge of why this is all important makes me feel so much more in control. As a millennial who had little financial education growing up who worked a series of casual and part-time jobs well into my 30s. I can now say that although I still have a lot of catching up to do, I feel like I am very well on my way to financial freedom. I've told all my friends and anyone, honestly, who will listen about She's On The Money and recommended the podcast and all of

your associated books to my friends. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh my God. That's amazing. That is amazing. And it sounds like that's me like writing in, like, cause that's like all the casual jobs, part-time jobs. It's so cool to know that you can, you can turn it around at any moment. Like that's so cool. It's actually crazy. I didn't get in a fight, but I got in a slight disagreement with someone in some comments online this week because someone commented on one of our money diaries and said oh well this is so unrelatable and I was like but it's not though like if I had a billionaire or like I showed something like you know maybe I was talking about oh well to create wealth you need to have a business and you need to do this and you do that

I was like no no no like I haven't shown something you're not capable of and I think I was just really defensive because I was like girl I've shown a single mom who single-handedly has two jobs and like is running rings around it and still saving and investing and yes it's not at the levels she wants it to be at, but she's creating wealth herself. And I just go, no, it might not be relatable to your situation right now, but it's not unrealistic. And I think that's where I get a little bit frustrated because I'm like, there's a difference between unrelatable. You know, you watch influencers online and they're buying million dollar homes and just like living lives that genuinely are very unrealistic for the average person. But we're not talking usually

about that type of wealth. We're talking about, hey babe, have you got your emergency fund set up are you investing for the future have you structured your super right are you and 65 year old you going to be all good and usually in our community the answer if you're proactive is yes because you still do have to do the work but like five star review thank you for sharing it with us but girl you did the work yeah you've ticked off like all the things too like she's investing on chances she's done her super she's doing all these bits and pieces that's so exciting and like that is work that you did for future you and she's gonna thrive it sounds like she already is and that's like my favourite part about our community.

That's amazing. Well done. All right. Well, would you guys like the question of the week? Yes, please. I feel like these have been getting unhinged. So here's me introducing this segment. I'm thinking they're going to ask Bec on her opinion of super.

No, you guys really just took this. You can ask us anything and led with it. The more work, the better, I say. So, guys, it's time for our favourite part or my favourite part of Friday Drinks where literally you ask us questions that you are dying to know the answer to and it literally can be about anything. Even shopping tips like this one from Alicia

who says, where are you girls shopping for an affordable black tie dress? Bec, you have to go to the fan- No, no, no. You have to go to the fanciest wedding you've ever been to. Where are you going shopping? I'm going to Uniqlo.

Love. But what are you picking out? Tell me like the vibe. Oh. If I say, and I think that makes it easier. like we're not just shopping for a black tie event let's say you got invited to a black tie wedding you love the person you want to look your best what's the outfit vibe i'm going a satin oversized t long sleeve okay slay and i'm going to do it all the way to the top yeah it's going

to be like really baggy like a button up okay all the way to the top and then oversized long pant business pant yep yep with a belt and so you can i'm pretty sure you can get i don't know about the satin part of this outfit i feel like uniclo does do satin yes or you just get a giant shirt also i never know the difference between t-shirt and shirt i'm saying shirt with the buttons shirt has like the collar and the buttons okay shirt is like that rounded neck that you're wearing got you got you got you so shirt and then i'm just honestly for shoes whatever the hell you want because you're making that look nice but i i think just honestly going to kmart and getting like those school shoes the black ones yeah that's good you've got a pair of those i do have a pair

of those. Yeah, you look chic in them. Thank you so much. And I wouldn't be spending more than $40, unfortunately, because I can't. But if I was going to really, really go out, I don't have a place in mind other than you, Chloe. I'm so sorry. But I kind of love that. Thank you. Because that's like Beck showing up as Beck. Thank you. Yeah. Because it's like, I can't. And when the question came through, I'm like, I cannot for the life of me, imagine you. No. Getting into a black tie dress and being comfortable. Yeah, no. I don't think could do that. I'll try. Jess, where are you shopping? I think for the best price, secondhand is the go. Facebook Marketplace, Depop, because obviously black tie is quite formal.

Yeah. My favorite, I don't want to say it's super cheap, but you can pick things up on sale. Meshki does a really great range from more casual through to what I think is totally fine for black tie. Well, they have a whole segment on their website called black tie. I didn't even realize that money win um and I think that they do sales pretty frequently you can do cash back and things like that to help bring the cost down but relative to what you can find yourself spending for black tie I think they're quite a reasonable price point for a lot of their pieces okay I agree a lot of my formal dresses historically have actually come from chic oh she does gorgeous yeah and I find I don't know why you are so planned but like yes you're right depop facebook marketplace

if you've got the time well yeah if you've got the time or honestly hiring a dress that's something that I have been doing a lot of recently because I just know I want a dress that I've not worn it's black tie I'm sorry I know already I'm never going to wear it again I've got this one black tie dress that I bought during uni that honestly I wore for every single uni event because like sorry it was from chic which is you know I just always was there but like every event I just wore that dress when it was like uniball or whatever, because I was like, well, I don't have the funds to go buy a new dress. And like, I really liked this one. So I just kept wearing it and it looked really good. Not going to lie. But yeah, I would go chic if I didn't have the time to source

something, but you bought a formal dress not that long ago. Was it racket club? Oh yes. Racket club are great. Yeah. Like I remember you being like, yeah, this was like $30 and I have no event to wear it to, but like, I just know I'm going to get a wear out of this. Yeah. Yeah. They're a consignment store which is another really good option so they're in Melbourne they have I think three locations I've sold stuff there too it's great for that as well but yeah similar thing like a consignment so you might have like and I feel like formal dresses are something that a lot of people do sell on because you wear it once maybe twice and you go oh I don't know that I would wear it again so you can often pick them up places like that really cheap do you know what I

would also recommend if you've got a good friends group which I know some of us don't have that but if you've got a good friends group shop their wardrobes oh yes like in our office at work if Jess goes oh my god I've got a wedding coming up I'm always like if I have any dresses you want you let me know like you can borrow whatever if you've seen me on like on Instagram in it or like you know it's in my wardrobe it's fair game like I just love the idea that my cost per wear is being brought down by other people as well I've done a few Victoria Divine specials over the years yeah but like I don't know it's so funny because like I know some people who'd be like oh I'd never lend out my wardrobe. I get such joy out of the fact that I picked a dress. I loved it. But then like

Jess didn't just go, oh yeah, that was pretty nice V. She's like, can I borrow it? Yes, queen. It'll look so good on you too. Like I love that you loved it too. Yeah. That is a good feeling. Yeah. Borrowing is a great tip. Borrowing. We're borrowing dresses from our friends, honestly. Borrowing silk shirts from our friends. Absolutely. 10 out of 10. I feel like we've nailed that question. Would you like to get into the money wins and confessions of this week, Jessica. I would love to, if that's all right. I'm going to start off this week with one from Hannah. She said she paid off and closed her afterpay after having to rely on it for the last couple of years. It felt really bloody good. So I'd say snaps for your queen and everyone else

who's doing the same thing. Next, a money win from Claire, who said she went to Ikea to buy a chair cover. After picking one up, she passed through the as-is section on her way out and found the exact same one there for half of the price. The as-is section is my favorite section at Ikea. it's like right by the checkout and it's where they sell all the stuff that was in the display rooms I see assembled properly by like someone who works in Ikea knows how to do it and it's like hasn't been used it's just been sitting there so good my favorite part of Ikea is the cafeteria where you can get the meatballs absolutely after we spoke about it maybe a month or two ago I went and got meatballs for lunch did you actually stop it it's so close to

the studio I'm so jealous we can do it today she didn't invite us I know what the hell let's do it today guys it'll be fine no you're cancelled it would be funny if we all secretly because i was gonna go too but if we all ran into each other let's do it after this let's do it after this that sounds perfect next i got a money win from jessica excellent name who said a bit of an old one but her favorite spin studio ran a specialty class and then afterwards took all the women to lululemon to get a free pair of leggings sorry what she said pretty epic return on a 35 class she'd never normally spend that much money on a pair of leggings gorgeous what i'd like to sign up for this class, please. Sorry. How do we get in on that? That sounds delightful. I love a little

limit. You steal them? Yeah, they all just went in and just like hijacked them. Imagine. No, no, no. We don't do that here. No, we don't. We don't. Lastly this week, I've got a money win from Adriana who said her car insurance was due. She asked them to lower the annual price due to her having three separate policies with them. So they did it by $50, which put it back to the same price as last year. They said they were going to resend her the policy. They didn't resend her the policy. So she followed up and they took another 60 bucks off for the inconvenience. Money win. It pays to be inconvenient sometimes. Absolutely. I'm learning from this. Absolutely. That's everything for me this week. I love that. Miss Bex Syed, what have you got when it comes

to broke tips? So this week I got a couple of good ones. The first one comes from Katya. She says that if you hit escape really quickly, when you're going to like read an article and a paywall comes up. Escape. If you hit escape really quickly, then you can sometimes avoid the paywall. And so our gorgeous producer did some research on this. And it is true that quickly hitting the escape key upon a page loading can sometimes prevent a paywall from appearing by interrupting the page's loading process, which I know is like, it depends on the, it depends on the site. Like I do feel bad. Like I don't want to steal content, but I'm also like, why can't I just read the article? My personal pet peeve is news behind a paywall. I totally get if you are

a creator putting something out. Oh, yeah. But I think news specifically. I'm not hacking Substack. No, not at all. But like by the nature of what it is, news should be for public consumption. I agree. I agree.

I don't know. That's my hot take. I completely agree. Can I share another one that I may or may not use? Please. So the second it starts loading, I hit Control-A, Control-C. So like select everything, Control-C. I've copied it because then, as you guys probably know,

you can start reading the article and then the pop-up comes up. So if you can get that Control-A, Control-C before that happens, I then cut and paste it into a Word document and read it on my own computer. Oh, my God. No paywalls yet. Not today. That is genius.

I haven't tried the escape thing. I didn't even know what the escape key did, so I'm going to give that a crack as well. But that has been my hack for reading paywalled articles that maybe I didn't want to pay massive corporations for. Oh, my God. Don't feel like you're doing that what you will. We're not telling you how to live your life.

And if you think that's unethical, that's totally okay. Don't do it. Completely. Because we wouldn't either. We're not doing it. We're actually not going to do it. Yeah, I mean, when I say I do it, I was just making a suggestion that I might be able to do it.

Yes, it's a clever idea that you haven't tried yet. Yeah, as somebody who writes for a publication who often puts my articles behind paywalls, I'd hate for you to have that information. Absolutely. Because you're going to write that for just anyone. Yeah, well, there you go. And so there you go.

Okay. This next one comes from Lisa. So this was like a thread asking for holiday savings tips. And I thought this was really interesting. Lisa said that she does a supermarket clean collect or delivery order before she leaves like the house, the accommodation she's staying at. Oh, like a holiday. When she's going on holiday. Exactly. So she only has to eat out once a day. That means that she doesn't have the option of like deciding not to go shopping when she gets there and she doesn't have to waste her time doing the shopping as well. She can just like enjoy her holiday. So I'm like trick yourself into like doing like, yeah, like a click and collect or like a delivery order or

something. That's a really great idea. Every time we've ever gotten, you guys already probably know this, but every time I've gone on holidays with Jess, I'm like, so where's the newest supermarket? Not going to lie. If we're traveling internationally, I don't want to do click and collect. I want to explore. Yeah. That's true. That's an experience going through an international supermarket, getting to see their cereal aisles, like what brands they have. Like for me, that's part of the holiday. I love it. I love that stuff. I'm always like, Oh, do you want to go into that supermarket? Do you want to go into that deli? Like maybe I'm not the person you want to travel with. But yeah, I always go get like a cereal and a coffee option for the mornings. For sure. I don't

want to eat out every single meal. No, I know. It is quite an experience. I always look for the grocery store wherever I am. Even if I'm within Australia, something about being in Woolies is so comforting this next one is from jess ricky actually if you don't mind excuse me so we put a whole thread in our facebook group every single week so that our community can share and then you just go yeah just just give me give me a hot tip i think i know what this one is and it is a good one oh okay so she's got tickets on this too yeah it is all right all right you know what that's actually a pun and you'll soon figure out why so to celebrate the opening of the metro tunnel two months of free travel will apply every Saturday and Sunday from early December 2025

to the 1st of February 2026 for all public transport within Victoria. Isn't that amazing? That is actually very cool. And now my ticket comment does make sense. Makes a lot of sense. No ticket required, you guys. That is a money win. Could we make it a little bit better? Like, can you have your people call my people or something and talk about extending that for like even a week so that everyone can save on their my keys for work and then like we could stash some extra cash would be lovely i don't know about the weekend i'll take what i can get i don't want to be greedy but also i'm really greedy i think like either never end it just weekends forever free i would think or yeah

make it like the whole week for a few months yeah i also reckon that the victorian premier should call the queensland premier and they should talk yes because for those of you not following Queensland get 50 cent public transport yes oh do they rude right very nice I know I know well fair enough have have your people call their people and their people tell you how to do your job it really makes me upset and I'm not gonna like linger on this for too long but people that are already struggling to get by and then they're like oh cool I finally found a job oh it's gonna cost me $50 a week to get there and you don't have the cash and like you don't have it just give us public transport for free during a week yeah because I feel like that would take a lot of

pressure off a lot of people. Absolutely. Or just do it for 50 cents. Like, sorry, why can Queensland do it? Exactly. And actually, you know what? We'll pay on the weekends during the week. No, we're trying to make a buck. Take it out of my taxes. And that's my broke tip for this week. Do you know what? That's a really good one. I will allow the fact that you got Jess to do your job. Thank you, Jess. Anytime. Okay. Don't cut this out. That is naughty. I actually like your opinion, Bec. Stop trying to steal Jess's. Yes, ma'am. All right. Let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side, we're going to be talking about a money dilemma, wanting to know more about managed portfolios, not managed funds, and something that you slid

into our DMs about what do you do when your partner is getting a little bit too obsessed with Black Friday? And it's definitely not from Jess's partner. So we'll see you on the flip side, guys. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the money team is here to help every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money career and life questions to get involved simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show now let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma hi she's on the money i have a question regarding our favorite topic of investing

I currently have two different apps for investing I have a shares account and a beta shares account with the shares I just have a few ETFs and direct shares that I put money into when I can and the beta shares are recently opened up a high growth managed portfolio and I aim to put two to three hundred a month into that my question is are these managed portfolios actually worth it I pay three dollars a month I know that changes per platform per portfolio and how much you've got in it but I was doing a bit of over-reading, we would say, a bit of analysis paralysis into these managed portfolios. And people say that it is not worth it and you can just kind of buy their ETFs or shares yourself. Yeah. I just wanted to know what your thoughts are on these managed portfolios

and if they're worth it. Thanks. I love this. I think that's a really good question because like these managed portfolios online are incredibly transparent. So you can go to, and she mentioned beta shares and I've just gone to their website just to make sure that I've got, you know, a really good handle of what's going on. And it reminds me a lot of our friends at Life Sherpa. They do something really, really similar. I feel like they might hold your hand a little bit more than just a beta shares like managed portfolio. But anyway, we can get back to that. We can talk about that later. But the cool thing about this is, yes, you could go in today and replicate the beta shares platform. Like you could log in, go have a look at their

website, exactly like I am, have a look at their managed portfolios. They are super transparent. they're like, okay, cool. If you're an aggressive investor, these are the ETFs we would pick with you. The problem with you going in and going, well, I don't want the fees. I don't want to be associated with that. I want to, you know, do it myself. That's fantastic. You could absolutely do that. But the managed portfolio part means they ongoingly manage the rebalancing, the construction of that portfolio. They are going to choose when an ETF exits your portfolio. So if they're like, oh, this one's not performing as well, we're going to drop that out. They're going to pick up another option and just put it into your portfolio without you lifting a finger. So today,

yes, they are being very transparent on what they would pick, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't change and be ongoingly managed. And the fees are reflective of that. So that's why people might ask questions like, oh, you could just do it yourself. You totally could. I do it myself, but every single six months ish, I go back in and I analyze every single one of my ETFs and I make sure that they're performing the way I want. You know, I might sell down some to rebalance it over because I have, and we've spoken about this before, and this is probably a good plug to go back and listen to the episode that I did with Brooke on her investing portfolio. We talk about how we have, it's basically a pie chart. And I know that I want 50% of my portfolio in this particular asset.

And then I break up the rest of my portfolio across different assets. And then every six months I get that pie chart out and I sit it in front of me and look at my portfolio and go, is this still replicated? Am I still comfortable with this breakdown? Do I want any changes? And then because the market always ebbs and flows, like, yes, I have for this period of time invested 50% of the amount I invest into that ETF, but let's pretend it performed really well. Okay. Now my portfolio is actually more than 50% of that ETF because it's been performing so well. And I have a dividend reinvestment plan. So I often will make the decision to sell down some of that stock and redistribute it into the other parts of my portfolio so I can maintain the

percentages I have chosen. They do that for you. Yeah. So they're going to have the finger on the pulse and all you have to do is keep sending money their way. They are going to charge a fee for that service. But for most people, that is a fee that is worthy of paying. And I won't talk about beta shares specifically. That's just what this community member has written in about. But there are lots of different managed portfolio options on the market where they say, hey, Jess, we'll manage it for you. And like, to me, if you don't want to have as high a touch option as, you know, when I go into my Sharesies account and I have to look at my portfolio and go, oh, what's that looking like? Perfect. Some of us don't want that, but we want that middle ground between, well, I would love to

do it myself because I love the idea of those fees. I don't want to go see a financial advisor because I don't want to pay those fees, but I still want more support than DIY. Does that make sense? Yeah, totally. Yeah. My only thing with the, it's not an issue, but I would just flag is that I think the beta shares went from a cursory look. I'm not super familiar with it personally, but I think it's just ETFs that they manage. Yeah. So that's just what they've constructed their portfolio of. Yeah. For some other managed funds, you might find that they are a managed fund and they hold 12 different direct shares that they manage and they would chop and change out of that. And it would really depend on the company issuing them. I'm not

surprised. And like, I quite like beta shares as a business. They are fantastic, but if you've not heard of them before, they are one of the biggest issuers of ETFs in Australia. So they've clearly seen, well, we construct ETFs all the time. Let's put this product over the top and have a different team pick from basically all our ETFs to create a portfolio that ongoingly is managed for a client. Yeah. It's good business from them, from my perspective. But then the other thing I would say there is if you're going to go to a beta shares, it's like going and seeing a mortgage broker who works for a bank. So you're only going to get beta shares ETF options. They're not going to go pick a Vanguard option because that's not in their best interests. So that's where if you're

looking at this and going, oh, that actually sounds really good, V, like I love the managed portfolio idea, but you're going to go direct to an ETF issuer, I can guarantee all of their managed portfolios are just made up of different selections of their product. You're not getting the whole market. Whereas a product like Life Sherpa would be able to actually just, they might have a beta shares, they might have a Vanguard that might be looking at a BlackRock over here and they kind of take everything on the market and then construct your managed portfolio. Yeah. And they're a nice middle ground too, in terms of price point, because they don't do like a full written advice and it doesn't come with the expense that we know is really prohibitive

to a lot of people. Whereas, you know, the way that they do it, they do a little bit of robo, but they also have people there that you can pick up the phone and speak to. So it's a little bit of a step further than the managed fund with beta shares, where I think you just buy it or any managed fund, you just buy it and, you know, let it tick away in the background. Sometimes, you know, people want a person there. So that makes it a really good, I guess, next stepping option across the spectrum. Yeah. And the last thing I want you guys to take from that is like, oh, the beta shares is not a good option. It is, but that's why I want you to look at all of your options on the table, but then also have the pros and cons. Like beta shares do great

ETFs. They have really good performance. They have a really good track record. They make our top five every year. Yeah. They're always in our top five. I've met with so many people on their team before they are so delightful, but it would be a miss of me to not be really pragmatic about going, okay, cool but it is like going direct to the bank for a loan and not looking for the rest of the options that might be on the table that maybe suit you a little bit better but you could also go I really like V I'm the same as you I really trust them I'm this I'm that so you just go with the beta shares option it's not necessarily going to impact your performance because every ETF issuer is going to construct them in a way where they're trying to perform their best too yeah so is it the worst no

But I also want you to have like the black and the white and make the decision for yourself. I'm not going to be like, yep, fantastic option, off you go. Yeah. But, yeah, you'll never get that from me. I'm so sorry. No, so fair. That's great advice.

I unfortunately am in my wheelhouse, but I trust everything you say. Oh, thanks, babe. Always have and always will. The next one's for you, don't you worry. The next one's for me. All right, the next one's for you. Would you like to hear the next one? Absolutely.

All right, so we're going to slide on into our DMs and read out one of the spiciest ones we got this week, which surprisingly, my favourite part about this is it's anonymous for you guys and every single one of our listeners. I know who you are. I already looked at your Instagram profile. It's James.

Can you imagine? I know, see, that's where I go. And to ruin our own fun, Bec, wasn't James. Wasn't James, but that's okay. So, hey, she's on the money. I'm starting to get anxious about Black Friday. Normally, my partner and I are on exactly the same page with money.

we share finances, and we're not big spenders. We've got other goals that we're currently working towards. But it's like something flips in him every single year. Every time something he wants comes up, he says, I'm going to add it to the Black Friday list. And then his list gets out of control. I get that technically we save money if we shop during Black Friday. But to me, the list is not essential things that we actually need. I don't want to come across as controlling or like I'm telling him what he can and can't spend money on. But I also feel like he's falling right into what the sales are designed to make us do, which is overspend.

How do I get him to see that and what would you do if you were me? Well, how are the tables have turned? I know. And I love it. You're like, the guy's the bigger spender. Yeah. It's not just a silly little girl thing. Men do it too.

Absolutely. Men spend money and they go, oh, good on you, mate. You deserved that. Oh, good investment. I spend money and I'm frivolous. Yeah. okay so what would I do I think first of all the fact that this person has enough self-control your partner has enough self-control to be like I'm going to add this to the list of things that

I want to buy when it's really heavily reduced I think that is incredible that's an incredible place to start but I also think like I understand that probably feels like there are things that you guys don't need but like maybe because there are so many things that bring us joy and and the fact that he's putting these on a, like in a list of things to buy in the future means that it's very likely, I don't know if this happens because you seem, you do seem to be worried that it's all or everything in the list is staying in the list. But I think if you spend, you kind of wait a long time, like as you say, VD, like leave 24 hours between you and your purchase, then you kind of end up being like, oh, I don't really need that anyway. So I feel like having a list of

things that are just like luxury items is a good idea to have anyway, because it's probably, they're probably not all going to make it when it comes to black friday time but i think like allow each other those little treasures and honestly thank your lucky goddamn stars that they are not like me and just like oh my god i want that i'm gonna buy that right now i don't even care to take a line of credit out i don't have to get a credit card or after pay i do not care there's nothing that's stopping me from we're working on that though becca we're working on that right now we're working on that no judgment yeah I would just say but obviously like if these things are like if he's kind of gotten to the point where he's like I don't care

if it financially ruins us I'm buying these at Black Friday no matter what then that's a different story but if it's like they're not going to financially cripple us it's just like hey you don't need to be like buying these luxury items we don't need them then you know maybe whittle it down to two or three things that bring you joy and then just stick with those per year but I wouldn't worry too much personally. I would be interested to know. I want to see the list. I'm so desperate. I would love to see the list. I totally agree. At least it's on the money in the sense that when they say that, you know, the marketing sales periods are designed, you know, they're built with strategies that utilize psychology and things like that to make us

spend as much money as possible. Like let's be really upfront. That's the ultimate goal of all of these companies is to sell as much product as they can and make as much money as they can. And they're doing it really well. They're doing it really well. I think that as we have said on the show many times, you can utilize these sales to your advantage. If there is something that you are going to buy anyway, whether it's a necessity, whether it is a little treaty treat, we were talking about like the Ninja products on like the Amazon Prime Day sales. If that's something that you knew was on, you know, Christmas list for the kids or something like that, and you were going to make the purchase anyway, it does make sense to buy it on sale. What I would be interested to know

is, is your husband keeping this list throughout the year, not spending incidentally throughout the year. And there's fund monies banking up. And going hard during Black Friday. Because in that instance, I actually think that it may not be so bad. And the way that you can crash check this is, do you have a budget? If you have a budget, do you have fund money allocated? If you do, are you maybe spending your fund money every month? Like this is what I do. We have a certain amount that I say I can spend this every month. And I do. Every month I spend it. She's really good at it. I'm really good at it. We talk about it in the office. Like the other day, one of our team members because we've been on work trips and like in and out of the office a lot recently

she's like be my fun money from the last few weeks has banked up and now I have extra fun money dream and now I have analysis paralysis over how I can spend it but that's what I mean right so if he had fun money throughout the year and he wasn't spending it yeah you know if you guys don't have a firm budget system in place it might be a little bit harder to track but I would just keep that as a consideration because I think if one of you is maybe spending within your means throughout the year and one of you isn't it's not the worst thing if that's all then being spent during sale time if that's not the case and he's just going a little bit buck wild going it's all on sale which like I mean we've all been there I think it is just a matter of maybe sitting him

down running the numbers a little bit I feel like that's what I always come back to I just want to know what's on the list like I know you're not saying it's essential but like why is it on a list ongoingly it's not like an impulse purchase from the way that you've written it it's like a list that he's been tracking. Like it might be, you know, like Jess, the ninja, and you really, really want it. It's been your list for ages and you've been thinking about it and thinking about it. You're like, nah, I'm happy to spend that couple of hundred dollars and I want to get the best deal. Is that what it is? Or is it just like, he just sees it as free money and he's been making this laundry list of luxury products you guys genuinely do not need. And you don't even know

if he's going to use them. And he doesn't check the list twice. He's like, I'm just going to buy the list when it comes up like I want to know the mentality around that but same as Jess like what's your budget look like and what does your fund money allocated look like and maybe we're not even questioning the list like maybe we're sitting down and being like hey like we're planning on doing some spending in the future or around Black Friday like what do we actually have budgeted for this like what off the list can we afford to get or not as opposed to like breaking down his list that he's really carefully curated for a specific purchase. And, you know, you might come to the conclusion together, you know what, you don't need a new TV. You already have a TV and

that one works really well, but to him, it might be a more of a priority than you thought it was. So I don't think breaking down the list first is maybe the wisest decision. Then you're telling him kind of that his values aren't as valid as what you think they are. And I wouldn't want anyone to feel bad about their decisions around money, especially, sorry, you're starting a list. You're checking it twice. You need to find out who's naughty or nice. Exactly. Exactly. And the other additional layer is maybe you could open the conversation up about, hey, how do we make the most of these sales? Christmas is coming up. You know, it's my friend's birthday coming up and I know that it's like her 30th. So I know I'm going to be buying a present. Should we be talking about

all of those things now so that the sales are not just, you know, benefiting us and luxury items that we want to buy, but also putting us in a better financial position. Cause I don't think a lot of people, and I have this year, write their Christmas lists early enough to then go, oh, I've picked up Bex and Jess's and this and that during a sale, because the closer you get to Christmas, the less sales there are going to be. There's going to be a whole heap of promotion. They're going to say that things are discounted, but they're never as discounted as they are during Black Friday or post Black Friday, just because they know that you're more desperate for it and you're going to pay for it. Yeah. You're not going to find sales on Christmas Eve, baby cakes.

That's not going to happen. They know that you're now desperate buying. Yeah. And that wasn't maybe a planned purchase and they're going to make, hey, well, the sun is shining basically. So we obviously also ask the community because, sorry, my favorite thing is your opinion. Couldn't agree more. Oh, I love reading through this and being like, oh, that's spicy. So we first said, what would you do if you were our community member? And this was pretty split. 45% of you said separate spending budget limits. And the other 45% said compromised with a shared agreed list. 7% of you said, leave him to spend however he wants. And 2% said, I'd push to skip Black Friday altogether. Okay. Fine. Next question I asked was, what are your Black Friday vibes? 38% of you,

very she's on the money said I'm going to use it for Christmas gifts only gorgeous 35% of you said managers stick to my list and my budget 17% of you said I'm actually unsubscribing from everything Black Friday and then 10% of you said get carried away and I am overspending yeah we then said all right what's your two cents on this question first person said I put money away each month for Black Friday sales I do have a list of essentials for myself and I also have a plan for my Christmas shop. Ah, brilliant. Next person said, spending on something you don't need because it's on sale is not saving. It is still spending. I love that quote. That's one of my favorite quotes. Yeah. I feel like we say it in the office all the time and people are like, oh my God,

it was like 40% off. And we're like, was it? Or did you play 60%? Oh my God, that's so true. If you were in the office more often, Bec, I think you would be horrified at the conversations we have. Like the other day I was talking to one of our team members who really wants a new iPhone. and I was just like same yeah I was like you don't need it she's like yeah I do like it's got a better camera and I was like you've got a camera you do not need another one a bit of camera yeah no sorry I'm just not no no you've got a phone that works and these things come out every single 12 months so another 12 months from now you're going to be wanting the iPhone 18 so do you want that one like let's just put it off like well you've got something that works yeah oh yeah we're savages

in the office. That's a great point. We're much kinder to the community than we are to each other in the office. Smackdown, yeah. We're like, Jessica, put it down. Step away from the computer. Next person said, the overconsumption and American-ness actually just gives me the ick, so I skip. Next person said, do you have a shared goal that his spending is going to interfere with or are you being controlling? And I'll do two more. Next person said, it's not a sale if they hike the price for the month before, then bring it back down for Black Friday. That's always worth checking because some people do do that some places true and then someone said I will only ever order something if it's like 50% off not the silly 5 to 20% I completely agree

you can get that anytime yeah absolutely all right well that's where I'm gonna leave it there but I do feel like just need to have a values conversation what's it come back to Jess communication that's so wild all right we'll have a good rest of the day guys and we'll see you bright and early on Monday morning for a Money Diary. Bye. Bye, guys. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature

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