She's On The Money - Does Your HECS debt Really Matter? How to Set Money Boundaries at Work

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

You know that moment where you  see your HECS balance, and immediately reconsider every life choice you made at 18? This week we’re unpacking that HECS regret spiral. We chat through what banks actually care about (and what they don’t), whether HECS is really the villain in your home ownership story, and when paying extra off it is a smart move versus just an anxiety-driven one. Then we slide into a workplace dilemma that starts off generous and slowly gets… uncomfortable. It opens up a much bigger conversation about money boundaries, being the “nice” one, and how easily financial habits between people can get blurry if you don’t reset them early. Plus we've got all your money wins, your broke tips, and the usual Friday chaos.NEW HERE?: Take our Money Personality Quiz and we will send you free resources based on how YOU actually manage money here.  Ready for more laughs, lessons, and unhinged money chats? Check out our oh-so-bingeable Friday Drinks playlist. Listen here. Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Ti, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan, mumubangada bomi ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunadana. Hello beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people, We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,

bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun especially on Fridays. It is our favorite day of the week because we get our team together to celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Miss Jessica Ricci is here and she is going to be sharing some of her favorite money wins from the community. Miss Bex Syed has three killer broke tips lined up and we're going to be

helping to answer a very relatable money dilemma that's all about hex stress. And then something that you slid into our dms about this week what do you do when a colleague is always asking you to shout them lunch but never pays you back rude also how do you manage that because that's like maybe a good money win for them well this is true maybe we could like re-engineer this and be like how to always get your co-workers to pay for your lunch could go either way really anyway before we get there my friends would you like to have your ego stroked for a hot minute Yes, please. Absolutely.

Well, it also strokes my ego. I've picked a five-star review and I feature in it. Oh, wow. So this one is from RookieT21 and they say five stars. Gonna say it. Victoria Devine is truly divine. This podcast has been such a helpful tool in reaching a member of your community who has very limited access to financial knowledge, given my field of work.

Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge, tips and insights. the skill of turning a dull and dry topic that is financial literacy into a learning opportunity is much to be applauded have been enjoying the banter from all the co-hosts as well keep up the great work guys oh that's so cute i saw my name at the top and i was like oh they're not complaining about how my voice sounds let's put that on the show divine is divine absolutely agree more all right so diving into i would say my favorite part of this episode we love the juicy finance gossip but i also love this part of the episode where our community gets to ask one question that they are dying to know of us it can literally be about anything and this week's one from alicia

wants to know guys what is your death row meal oh i love this question okay you go first oh my goodness chocolate scotch fingers with tea but as a girl what the whole package i can give you a death row meal every day then thank you so much but the savory element god I never really think about the savory element you don't have to have savory element you're on death row like no one is gonna make you have meat and three veg but I honestly I think like I just want maccas and I know that's really like boring but the savory element I want to get it over and done with I'm just having maccas and then chocolate scotch fingers with a perfectly made tea what constitutes a perfectly made tea just to be clear strong yeah yeah good girl I do want it depends if I'm having

if I'm having a Vegemite toast and I want sugar in my tea, if I'm having scotch fingers, I don't want any sugar in my tea. I want strong and milky with just oat milk, no cow's milk. No offense to anyone who drinks cow's milk. That's fair. That's fair. Do you want to hear something heinous? Please. So my mum's idea of a good cup of tea is when I make my strong cup of tea and then take the tea bag that I used. I back that. And just dunk it once or twice into her water and that's it. That's the whole tea. Plain water? No, no, no. Like the boiling water, but like dunk a used teabag in. So it is so weak. It is dish water and no milk, no sugar, nothing. That's her favorite tea. Oh my, that's water. That's Judy design. That is not okay. Miss Jessica Ricci. I have a

really hard time with this. I don't have like an ultimate favorite meal. I think if I'm going out, i want one at everything i want the kingfish sashimi from chin chin and i want hey that's my death get off and i want the little cheeto things from super like i want oh yeah the cheetos from super normal yeah like i want my favorite dish from everywhere fast food and fancy and like a really really big glass of pepsi max yeah yes you want like i'm like we're mixing cuisines we're doing sweet and savory like one of everything please you know yeah i get that i forgot about the Cheetos at Supernormal. They're not called Cheetos. Yeah, that's the proper name, but like they kind of look like Cheetos. Yeah. So that's what we've always called them. They're a little

spice. My death row meal would be the kingfish sashimi from Chin Chin, but I'm not sharing with anyone and I'm getting the share size plate of it. I would also have the Cheetos from Supernormal and then I'm finishing with a whole tray of the Magnolia Bakery banana pudding. Oh, you do love a banana pudding. Like I go feral for that. Like I get asked all the time, oh, can you make your banana pudding? It's not mine. It's the Magnolia Bakery one, but like I make it and I literally can't make it unless I know I'm going to an event because if it is in the fridge, I just have to walk past with a spoon every two seconds and I have no self-control. So I just know that would be a great death row meal. Yeah. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. I think that's really fun. Scotch

fingers, chalky scotch fingers. Yeah, gotta be chocolate scotch fingers. I love that. All right, if you guys have a question that you are dying for us to answer, leave it in the comments and we will get to it. But what we're jumping to now is Miss Jessica Rich's money wins and confessions from the community. All righty, this week I'm starting off with one from Rachel who said, my puppy seemed intrigued by something in a pile of leaves. I was about to give him a firm leave it before I realized it was a $20 note. Okay, little king. Literally like truffle snaffler. she said I'll take him to pet barn later to pick out a treat which I think is very cute that is good and it's very fair he's like don't you take my 20 bucks I found that that's for doggo treats

next I've got a money win from Prue who said she did a superannuation health check and found $11,000 in a fund that she'd forgotten about she's had it transferred over to her current super fund and it's a nice little boost towards her retirement then I've got one from Shannon who said she recently discovered that she can redeem her flybys dollars for gift cards that she can then use at a wide variety of beauty places in her town. She's currently on maternity leave. So she cashed in $200 worth of points and is going to book herself a massage. Nice. Don't sleep on the vouchers with points. I feel like vouchers is such a clever little workaround option. Next, I've got a money win from Grace who said, I just used cashback from a holiday

earlier in the year to buy the Philips Air Fryer. It was reduced from $299 down to $119 on Amazon. and then she only had to pay $14 out of pocket because she had some gift cards and some cash back and some other things that she all stacked together. That is so good. You're going to love that air fryer. I have a Philips air fryer and it's the best thing I've ever spent money on. One of the girls on our team, you're going to love this,

just interjecting another money win, used all of her points and all of the gift cards that she'd saved up, bought an air wrap just under $200. So clever. We love a little points moment. Next, I've got a money win from Tori who said, I've been putting away... That's a great name.

Putting away extra money we don't spend on takeouts and splurges into a shares account and I've just hit my first $500 invested. How exciting. Very clever way to do that. You don't notice a little bit going away every week. Absolutely. And then lastly this week,

I've got a money win from Savvy who said, I had a meeting with a Zella mortgage broker and discovered we are in the perfect position to use equity in our owner-occupier home, which has doubled in value since we purchased it. with a smaller mortgage to start out our property investing journey. I have heard that they're actually the best mortgage brokers in the country. I've heard that too.

So funny you say that. Yeah, that's so crazy. Like I heard that they were literally the best ever, ever, ever. Yeah. And they're also all really pretty. Oh, so hot. So smart. And really nice.

And did you know the owner? Whoa. Also very hot, very pretty, very nice. Very, very, very funny. She's hilarious. Anyway, moving on, Miss Beck, have you got some broke tips for us? Yes, I do. So this first one comes from Bonnie, who says,

we pay for one family music streaming and one TV streaming. Our teenager thinks she can't survive without at least one more TV streaming service. And so Nana and Poppy, I love these names, you know. Isn't it cute? Like, I feel like it's just cute. Everyone has their own name for their grandma, grandpa. I think it's so cute. What do you call your grandparents?

I just call them grandma, grandpa. Oh, Jess, what did you call your grandparents? Oh, on my Italian side, it was like, no, no, no, no, but like grandma, grandpa. Yeah, okay, cute. So Nana and Poppy buy her a 12-month Disney Plus subscription for her birthday each year. It keeps costs down, lasts for a whole year, and we all get the benefit, which I think is a great idea. So if you have, like, friends who have teenage kids and want to buy them a present, you're kind of helping everyone. Also, you know that thing where if you have more money and you can buy a yearly subscription, you get benefited because you get a discount.

And I'm like, well, give the discount to people that can't afford a year. Anyway, who knows? But I think that's a great idea. It's a great gift idea as well. This next one comes from Chloe, who says, I do a Survivor Pantry Challenge every fortnight where I must cook up slash use up any food in the pantry or fridge. This started just as a fun challenge to be more sustainable with food waste,

but now I look forward to it and save on groceries as an added bonus. Did you say Survivor? That's so fun. Yeah, that's so funny. I think it's such a great idea. You know when you pretend, I know we've been talking about whimsical things before, but I think even if you drink water and you pretend you're in Space Jam

and you've got that, I don't know. But I think like making something a game, it can make it fun. Do you have ADHD? Maybe. Your diagnosis would tell me yes. True, true. Yeah, yeah. We love to gamify things though.

We do and it makes it like fun and yeah, you can really save money doing that. My bro tip this week, I live in a really old share house as you guys know. It's like it's gorgeous, it's cosy, but it's old and so. But it's better than your last one which had a wall literally falling down out the front. So like we've upgraded.

Exactly. such a good memory PD. You can't forget that. You're like, you could see the outside from the inside through not a window. I was like, great, perfect. Very dangerous. The whole front of the house was not attached. Anyway. And I know this doesn't sound like a broke tip yet, but what I did was I went to Bunnings and I just bought like a really cheap, but pretty shower head with like a hose. And you know, when you see those in houses, you're like, this house is worth a lot. And so I went and I changed it. It was like a hundred dollars. I changed myself. It was really quick really easy and also you can get ones that have like a lower shower pressure so that which

I know is not ideal but it is better for your water yeah so you can go ahead and change that you can feel like you're living in a brand new bathroom just by changing the shower head you can do it yourself it's so easy that's a life win as well totally when you move out if you keep the old shower head just under the sink yeah you can like swap it back and take it to your next share house oh my god true yeah and there's heaps of really like I did this when I was in share housing because wherever we lived, we always had that teeny tiny shower head that had terrible water pressure. It was like dribbling onto my hair. Absolutely not. We can't have that. We know how much I care about my hair. And I would swap it to one of the like low water use, high pressure ones.

Yes. Incredible. Saving money on water, but also I get a better shower experience. Exactly. Crazy. You're a genius. Thank you so much. That's me for this week. I love that. All right. Well, let's go to a really quick break. And on the flip side, we're going to be answering, I would say, a very relatable money dilemma that's all about hex stress. And then something spicy that you slid into our DMs about, what do you do when a

colleague is always asking you, hey babe, can you get me lunch? But then they never pay you back. Rude. Don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the money team is here to help every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money career and life questions to get involved simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show now let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma hi she's on the money I feel like my money dilemma is one that is shared with a lot of people in the she's on the money community and that is the really heavy regret that I have about

my hex slash help debt that I've accrued I thought I was investing in my future and further education by obtaining a bachelor's degree in an industry that I was really passionate about but unfortunately I haven't been able to obtain work in that industry since graduating. Further to that, I pursued a degree through a private university. So I have come out with a really large HECS debt, which at the time I didn't understand the difference. I didn't have any financial advice from anyone saying that university wasn't the be all end all and that there are other avenues to pursue when furthering your education. So I left my degree with about a 80K HECS debt, which makes me sick to even think about or talk about. I look on my MyGov account and see the

indexation every year and it just feels like I go back to square one, even with this 20% reduction recently we've obtained from the government. So I guess my question is, should I be chipping away at that debt? It makes me sick and anxious every time I look at it. If I could hand back my degree tomorrow to get a refund I wouldn't a heartbeat any advice is really appreciated because I feel like I'll be paying this off forever can I just jump in first things first and I know that like from a financial standpoint you're like this was not worth it at all and you might not be like working in your field at all like I'm not so like I have too many degrees because I'm basically a nerd and I totally get the heck stress thing but I started my career in psychology I have two

psychology degrees that I could probably say were useless to do because like I'm now in finance and I've found my way into finance but I genuinely believe that you learn so much just through you know the structuring of courses like being able to complete essays in a particular way being able to interact manage your time manage your projects like throughout university that I would argue it hasn't been a waste I don't know what your degrees were you might have trained as a nurse and now working in an admin role or something and these things aren't obviously compatible but I think it's maybe worth checking your mindset a little bit about like what you did learn and how you could apply those things or how you are applying those things in every day not because I'm trying

to justify the expense but also because I'm trying to justify the expense because it's like I reckon you grew during that time as well and learned and like learned how to deal with pressure in a different way. Cause like uni can be really stressful. Jess, you didn't go to uni. No. You said, no, I don't need that. Like that's not my journey. Talk to me about your thoughts on this question. I understand. And I want to say for any of our younger listeners, I guess this is a really good example. I think most, not most people, but a lot of people. Jess is a really good example. She's right. You should follow in Jessica's footsteps always. Not me specifically, but I think like a lot of people. Oh, I meant her specifically. Oh, thank you. A lot of people

go to university because it's like the conventional path. Almost all of my friends started degrees and then changed degrees or completed a degree and then did a secondary degree. Because I think to make the choice at 18, it's a very large choice to make. Your frontal lobe is not developed. Your frontal lobe is not fully developed. You haven't had any real world experience. Like it's a big decision, which does land you in a lot of debt. And I guess I want to say, give yourself a little bit of grace because you made this choice. There was probably a lot of pressure. I felt a lot of pressure to go to university like from external people and so as much as you know I totally understand where you're coming from and I'm like grateful that I followed the path that

I did I would also say in the same way that we said about finance like you did the best you could with what you had like you made what you thought was the right choice at the time totally and hindsight's 2020 like we can't regretting it doesn't benefit you at all now with that being said I totally empathize and the fact that it's causing you anxiety is really frustrating I'm sorry that that is the case. We've spoken before about the fact that hex debt dies with you. It's not sexy. Yeah, we love that. Good thing to bring up Jess. Not that I'm manifesting debt upon anybody. No. But I think it's really nice to know that that debt won't pass along to anybody. It's obviously your required contributions are capped based on your income. So as much as the number is climbing.

It's the best big debt you could have. It's not the worst case scenario to be in. I personally probably would chip away at it a little bit. And that is just because I think maybe similar to our listener, I don't love having debt there. I guess, especially if you're looking at taking on loans for different things, whether it be a car loan or a mortgage or whatever, your hex may potentially impact it. There's lots of factors. So don't necessarily let that get you down either. I think it's a common thought that, oh, if I have this big hex debt, I won't be able to get a house or I won't be able to do whatever. There are lots of things that you or mortgage brokers can help you do to like figure that out. But if it's causing you anxiety, I think there

can be value in paying that back. Even if on paper, that's not the financially best choice, because I think. Because if I did the paper, it's not the financially best choice. Correct. If we're being honest and that's not because I'm like, oh, that's so silly. Don't stress about it. I get the stress and like money is more than, you know, the most logical on paper a decision. It's why some people invest in property because they feel so safe and secure with that. When, if we looked at a risk return chart, the best performing asset would be the share market. And so that is not me saying, oh, well, the only option you should be considering is this. It's the one that makes you most comfortable, but you need to understand the

risks and the benefits. And I find that education is going to be the thing that helps you feel a little bit more comfortable with it because unfortunately we can't just make your HECS debt disappear overnight. Like I can't wave a magic wand and be like, you're right. You should give your degree back and we will have no debt money win. You've got this debt. What are you going to do about it? Beck, before I dive in and go a little bit deeper, how do you feel about the hex debt situation? I do also have hex debt, even though I do not have any qualifications because I started a bunch of things. So I can understand, but I think that I've probably money and debt sits with me a little bit differently than it does other people.

Certainly it sounds like for this listener, I can understand the anxiety, especially like feels like such an exorbitant amount. And I know this is not helpful advice, but I really do feel like we live in a world where we may one day see that. I hope the HECS debt be wiped. I think we'll see it in our lifetime. I don't think we will. Manifesting that for everyone. In the nicest possible way, the government is relying on that income to continue to fund the education system. Well, just in case, just in case I wouldn't pay any more because if it got to it and then it was wiped. I'd be really happy, but I'd be like, oh my God, I just spent so much money on this thing. So, and we are doing that in every paycheck. It can be really, really small. But I think the

other thing, honestly, as you guys are saying, like learning is never a waste and you might have met a bunch of people during your time. You might be in a place where you're just one step away from your dream life, whatever that looks like. I don't want to say dream job because job is not life. That's a good delineation. Thank you. So I would say maybe, yeah, maybe you're one step away from your dream life and whatever that looks like it does still feel like sickening all this money but it's not in vain I would say I know that's not helpful being like hey be grateful but that's not what I'm saying at all I just think it's not in vain just try and ignore the little bits coming out of your paycheck and then if it doesn't change if the

Hex debt doesn't get wiped then is as Jess said it's going to die with you yeah fair so I am a little bit more liberal with HexDebt. So from my ex-financial advisor's point of view, it is the most okay debt to sit on that doesn't necessarily create an asset for you. Now, I do truly believe that you having a university degree, it doesn't mean that you're immediately going to walk into a job and earn more. Like if we look at Jess, didn't go to uni, I think that's epic inspiration because I just go, you're earning more than most people would who did go to university and her career trajectory is looking incredible to go on and on in that space, right? So you don't need to go to university to make a lot of money. But on the flip side, I don't want you to be stressed

about the money in your hex. Now, I can't give you specific advice on what to do and what not, because I'm actually licensed to give general financial advice and that would be in breach of that. And our old mate at Money Sherpa would be very mad at me and that's okay. So what I am going to do though is share how I feel about it because I have never prioritized my HECS. Now, I own a mortgage broking business, as you guys know, Zella Money, and we see clients every single day with HECS debt buying their first homes, buying their next homes. And sometimes, yes, you might have saved a really nice deposit and you're ready to purchase a home. And one of the things that the bank says is, hey, Beck, could you take like $5,000 or $10,000 off your HECS because it actually

increases your serviceability. We've got that cash at that point to make that decision or we might be paying LMI, but at no point does the government or any banking institution look at a client and go, well, they have HECS debt. That's a bad thing. They're not worth lending money to. Like it just sits there. And in fact, when you have a HECS debt and when you have a university degree and you do all of your applications to a mortgage broker, they go, that's quote, according to the government and banking institutions, not the real world. That's a more reasonable person to lend money to, right? They must be smarter. They must have more earning potential. Like they sit on a higher scale of like being a quote safe person to lend to.

So you're actually in a good position, even though if you go, oh my goodness, like I'm paying this stuff back. Personally, I've never paid more off my hex and I still won't prioritize that at any point. I'm just letting it tick away and I pay exactly what the government tells me to pay each and every single year, which worked out for me because I got that text message late last year from the government being like, your 20% discount has been applied. And I was like, yeah, see if I'd paid this off, I wouldn't have got that little discount. But from my perspective, I think we need to reframe it as well. Because if you're stressed right now, you're thinking, my goodness, I'm never going to get into a home. You know, this hex debt is lording over me. Go

talk to a mortgage broker. Go talk to a mortgage broker about your options. You might have literally no deposit, but that will take the weight off your shoulders because they'll go, okay, well, in your specific situation, this is how you should be saving for your first home or your first deposit. And they might go, yeah, actually let's over the next, you know, 12 months smash another five grand off this because it puts you in this other position but most of the time a mortgage broker is actually going to say don't pay any extra off your hex debt yet let's get to the point where you have a deposit and then we can look at the bigger picture as to how we allocate that deposit to put you in the best possible position so that's my two cents I could go on

and on about it all day because I just hate that it stresses people because I'm like oh guys like yes I know it gets indexed I'm not an idiot but it's the only interest-free loan that exists that if you lose your job you don't have to pay that's very true like and honestly if you still had your hex debt at the age of 65 at the age of 80 they're not going to make you paid off unless you earn enough and if you get to that point and let's say you get to like the ripe old age of 110 pen. Amazing. And you pass away and you still have $30,000 worth of hex just gets wiped. Like, as you said before, it's not a debt that rolls into your estate. It's not a debt that would impact your savings or your investments just gets wiped. And I kind of am like, well, if that

happened, I don't really want to use the money that I could have invested, but up to you guys. It's a good point. Should we get into the juicy dilemma? Oh my gosh. Yes. I've got it on my phone and I have been chomping at the bit to share it. So this week I got a DM and it sounded like this, girls help work leeching? What would you do? I've got a younger coworker who really struggles with money. We sit together for 10 hours a day and she often comes to work hungry. At first, I didn't mind shouting her the occasional lunch or drink, especially because she was going through a lot, but now it's becoming constant. She gets sick because she hasn't eaten all day. Every time I go out for food, she asks me to buy hers too

and then never pays me back. The thing is we're paid exactly the same, but I pay more in rent, debt and utilities. And I have two dependents at home. I can't afford to be her safety net. I'm a big softie and always help when someone's struggling. But at what point is she just taking advantage of my good nature? What would you do? Bec, what would you do? It's a really tricky one. I don't think this is what our listener was saying, but I think even if I get paid the same as someone and I feel like I've got more expenses and it's probably true that you do on paper, I still wouldn't be like, oh, they should have more money or anything like that. And I don't ever judge what anyone is doing. I never kind of question that. So I don't think

that's what they were doing, but I just want to say that we don't know anyone's story. So I would wipe that from my brain. The fact that I don't understand why or how they've gotten themselves in this position because everyone's got their own journey but I think I would because it feels like 10 hours a day also is a long goddamn day where do you work why are you working 10 hours a day and if you are working 10 hours a day low-key you should be able to buy lunch I'm not not gonna lie like if you're putting in that much energy and time like you should be paid enough to be able to basically buy your lunch at work every day from my humble opinion that's so true we should be and that's the question for like the economy and the cost of living and we're like why is it still so

hard but again I say like we don't know anyone's journey so I would probably assume that you've kind of built this bond with each other maybe for you this is just a friend maybe for her she's kind of built this like carer parent bond and she's like oh can you go get me food can you get me food and like I think I would just honestly just sit down have a chat with them be like hey bubby I can't afford this anymore I can't afford to buy both of us food every day it is tricky though if they if they still come in hungry and you're like well I'm gonna go buy my food now I guess I would communication is key I would try and just help them in some way I would talk to people in their life but unfortunately I know this is boring communication is probably key

whoa that's crazy I've never heard that as a solution Jess what do you reckon yeah I agree I think it's, it is hard. It sounds like a broader issue. If you're saying they're coming to work hungry, they're not eating all day and then they're getting sick like that. For me, there's a lot of alarm bells going off with that kind of situation. I think that it does just honestly warrant a proper conversation. And exactly as you said, sharing that, Hey, like from my perspective, like it just is not like, I can't do it. You know, like my money's not going as far as it used to, like, I can't afford to shout you like when I've got the funds, like obviously really happy to but I just it's not something that's doable for me right now

and then I think also using that as an opportunity to check in with them and be like are you okay like what's going on like do you need some help maybe coming up with cheap meal ideas like to bring lunch to the office totally here's Chelsea's ten dollar meal plan exactly right like we've got that linked on the website that's really great like I think for me the bigger issue is like I'm just worried honestly for this person and what's going on in their life and obviously I'm missing a significant amount of context but that extreme of a situation to me suggests that maybe there's like some bigger stuff going on and I would be wanting to check in regarding that obviously you're totally valid in how you're feeling and you know it's not your job to cover

somebody's lunch at the end of the day like that's not a responsibility that you have to take on but I do also understand like when you care for somebody or care for just people who are having a hard time, it can be hard to step away from that. And so I think like being really honest with your coworker will hopefully make that feel a little bit less uncomfy, but also provide you the opportunity to maybe find other ways to help or support them. Yeah. I'm going to go down two streams, right? So the first stream is exactly aligned to what you guys were saying. Can we please check in with this person? Like there's so many reasons as to why they might not have cash. And like, I am always so like, are they in a relationship and it's a financially abusive

relationship? Have they got an addiction that they are struggling with? Is there something bigger at play? Are they, you know, giving all their money to their, and I don't know like what their family situation is, but are they giving all their money to their family and then having nothing left for themselves because they don't know how to say no. I want to make sure that they're fine, but then on the flip side, so let's pretend we know they're absolutely fine and they're just not very good at money management or they're just taking advantage of the fact that you are willing to buy lunch and because you guys were I guess a little bit kinder in your responses I'm going to go down the route that they've worked out that you'll buy lunch yeah and there's actually

no reason why like let's pretend they are just shopping and enjoying life and they just wake up like five minutes before they have to leave so that's why they're coming to work hungry because they haven't like managed their own time properly and do you know why I'm thinking that because I used to do that not rely on other people but my lord I would like roll out of bed and go straight to work, no coffee, no breakfast, no nothing. And then by 10 a.m. I'd be like, oh my God, I need a coffee because I have done myself a dirty here. So a lot of this is not your responsibility. Actually, none of it is your responsibility, but the check-in thing, fantastic. But on the flip side, if they're taking advantage of you, there are a number of ways to push back.

Great idea, Bec, having a chat, you know, going, hey, I actually can't afford this. Same with you, Jess, if you're a little bit less confrontational, like you don't want to have that chat, so strange, you're trying to budget better and you're bringing lunch every day. So you're going to talk about your budgeting journey and oh my God, you know, it's what, January? So you've just started a new budget for the new year and you're so excited and you've decided to cut back on buying lunch out. You cannot believe how much it's adding up and you've started bringing lunch to work. And then you ask your friend or your colleague, big what are they going to do like do you want to start bringing your lunch because it'll save you

so much money too just glossing over the fact that you know that you're purchasing their lunch but like the concept of bringing your lunch to work would save someone money when they're meant to be paying for it themselves so I think for me I would probably go down that route because it just it stops the interaction of oh can you grab me something because I'm not actually going anywhere I can grab you something and I'm not saying that's a forever solution but it might break the habit. Like it might break the, them asking you because they're going to fall into this idea that every day Beck brings her lunch. I can't keep asking her. Great. They're going to have to find another solution. And then on the other times that maybe we've felt like, let's be honest,

I can't commit to bring my lunch every single day to work. That's not a me thing, but maybe I would do it to break this cycle. And then when I start going back out for lunch, I go, oh, why don't you come down and pick? And then you do separate transactions or you let them go first, or you kind of don't jump in with the debit card to kind of save you'd be like oh yeah you go I'm just thinking about what I want yeah and kind of doing it that way because I'm not saying that's the right solution because personally I would probably have a conversation if I felt comfortable to do so but I'm also aware that not every community member is as confrontational as we are able to be because we are pretty open with money conversations for sure like in our team we're always like oh

how's your savings goal going like we know what's in each other's investment accounts like I'll be like oh how much were those boots Jess and it's not a weird question but in like a corporate environment can you imagine if someone turned around and said well Jess nice cowboy boots how much were they you'd be like what yeah I forget that it's not very normal to always talk about money super openly and we do it all the time I think people I don't think people would be surprised because it's us but then I think if you were in a more conservative environment you'd be like, what? Understandably. Like the second I get a good deal on Depop, I'm rolling into the office. You should see the cardigan I just got. It was listed for 180 new. I just got it for 40

bucks. Look at this. So sick. We're just proud of ourselves in our money conversations. And I hope that everybody gets to that point. But I did ask the community for their two cents. The first question I asked was, what would you do if you were our community member? And just like you guys, 59% said that they would have an honest conversation. Love. 24% said that they would distance themselves. Understandable. Yes. But also that could put a spanner in the works from a workplace point of view. You've got to manage the dynamics. Yeah. Like it's a hard, like I get it, but I find that's a hard one. 17% said, maybe you just say it's their shout today. Yeah. And see how that goes. Great idea. Actually, I've got some work to finish. Your shout today.

do you want to get me a like salad sandwich thanks I doubt they'd ever ask again yeah yeah and then less than one percent of you said I'm just going to keep paying to avoid the drama next question I asked was do you struggle to say no when people ask you to shout them food 50 percent of you said depends on who not a work colleague 25 percent said no I'm a boundaries queen and then 25 said nah i'm a softy yeah i would do and relatable then i obviously was like all right the two cents get in my dms what have you got to say first person said she won't starve if you start saying no she survived for years before she met you this is true but i feel like she's starving and i can't have that i know i was born to be a mom like i literally was asked

Jess, the second you get in my house, I'm like, you hungry? You thirsty? What do you need? Jess will say, oh no, I'm fine. I'll be like, well, I've got cookies. I'm the co-worker that never pays for my lunch because Victoria buys it for me. That's so cute. Yeah, just come and work it. She's on the money. Cause like, if I can pay for your lunch, I do try. Next one is have an emergency tin of tuna to offer. Support requests may, your support requests may drop when the food offered isn't fun anymore. That's actually a great one. Like a little, oh, I've got a tuna and rice in the door if you want it like that's actually a nice like middle ground solution that's cute too because it's like oh I've got like a little option yeah I can't be mad at that yeah next person said

if the OP is hesitant to have the conversation suggest that they reframe it as a welfare check another person said think of a one-liner to say and practice it sorry that's not in my budget at the moment and to be able to shout you basically yeah next person says you're actually enabling that person's behavior humans take advantage of people who give things away for free not always not not always but it's definitely human nature to take more than you give unfortunately like from a psychological point of view like if someone is giving us stuff we will take advantage of that and the reason for that is like you're hoarding stuff for the winter like you know it's not us being mean or not grateful, like gratefulness is actually a practice you have to embrace.

It's not something that it's one of, it is literally the only emotion that you have to physically learn. And I think that that's quite an interesting concept because everything, and I have obviously done a fair bit of study, but every single emotion comes back to fear. And one of the things that really like knocks it on the head is like fear of not having something in the future. So if someone offers you something, you're more likely to say yes than no. And it doesn't mean it's reciprocal. Nice people, obviously reciprocal. I cannot imagine lending anything or buying back anything without her being like, babe, I'll pay you back. You're just a good person who practices gratitude, but not everyone is like that. Anyway, two more. Second

last one. Maybe you have a conversation around wellbeing. Most businesses have an EAP that can help with budgeting oh that's good and then the last one which is self-absorbed says why don't you just email her a link to the she's on the money podcast or newsletter oh great advice do you know what do that to even all your friends who aren't struggling like this afternoon just this afternoon just forward your newsletters to all of your friends and be like this newsletter is lit totally we put a lot of time and energy into making that stuff juicy we do anyway that's hot and funny of course it is the funniest of people oh my goodness all right let's go before I go on another rant about lunch chairs your shout today I fear it might be I fear it might

be no I can't and I'm also like no you came all this way to work like oh that's way to work I'm like no you came here you work for me like I should be looking after you like all right let's go we will see you bright and early on monday morning for a money diary until then have a really beautiful weekend and we'll see you then bye guys bye bye guys the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.