She's On The Money - Falling Back on the Bank of Mum & Dad?

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

It's Friday so that means it's time to kick back with Victoria, Jess and Bec and share your money wins and losses! They also answer a money dilemma about buying property, AND this week you slid into our DMs about the bank of mum and dad! Is it ok to be jealous of your friend who can fall back on their parents pocket? Or is comparison the theif of joy? How do we feel about this? Listen in to find out! Get your tickets to our upcoming IWD tour here. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kurni, Wolperi and Awadjuri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjuri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today is Friday, which means it is time to get the team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, we'll be sharing some of our favorite money wins with Ms. Jessica Ricci, and we're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about buying property, which is very well-timed because you guys have an episode dropping next week with our very own Kate Bransgrove from Zella Money, who is going to talk you through the ins and outs of mortgages. And we're going to be unpacking something that you guys slid into our DMs about this week, which is the bank of mum and dad.

With us, as always, we also have Miss Bex Saeed. How has your week been? Hi, Vicky G. Week's been good. Week's been good. Week's been good. Very uneventful. But I'm so tired. Why are you so tired? I think it's because I didn't do anything. Yeah, okay. You know when you have a packed week. When you feel a little bit like a slug. Yeah, I think that's what it is. And it's just snowballing. Now I'm peak slug. Peak slug.

Jess, are you peak slug or have you had a good week? No, this week has been a good week. It was Valentine's Day. As we all know, I love a theme. So I've been wearing. She's a holiday girlie. Yeah, I've been wearing pink all week, really living the best life. But apart from that, nothing exciting has been happening really.

Have you ever thought, wow, I really should have lived in America where they really. All the time. I just feel like Jess lives in America. like she's meant to live in America with the amount she loves her holidays and how much Americans celebrate holidays. Jess and I went to Orlando last year. We were there for FinCon, which is like a finance conference. It was actually really fun. I'm not going to be exploring that with you right now because you're quite judgmental and I just don't want the feedback. But Jess and I had a very good time. But while we were there, we actually had to

prioritize going to all the Walmarts and Targets in the area because Jess wanted to bring home pumpkins. Ceramic ones. Ceramic pumpkins. Ceramic pumpkins. For decoration for when she got home in time for Halloween. Because we don't do that here. It's not fair. No, it's very hard to find a pumpkin around here. I'm on the side of TikTok that is American TikTok because it's people going to like American Target or places like that where they do all the decorations. I'm on Utah mom TikTok. Oh my God, me too. I live on Utah mom TikTok. And all I want now, even though I think it's vile, is those really big jugs of Dr Pepper. And then I want to put, they like put things in their dr pepper obviously look at beck's face she's not on utah mom tiktok it's like a soda

milkshake without them like they'll put things like coffee creamer oh my god it's a lot it's crazy in a dr pepper yeah because in utah a lot of the people that live there are mormons and in mormon culture they don't drink hot drinks they don't drink tea or coffee or alcohol so the one thing that they can have is usually like soda and they they just have soda bars all around utah and that's what they do yeah they do beignets and soda like that's a thing and i learned all of this from tiktok because i am called charred called a spider yeah they basically make spiders yeah but they like they got me onto and we've talked about this on the podcast before and jess you have reaped the benefits of this i have i ordered it's called true lime it's like

crystallized lime juice so you can put it in your wallet and then put it in your diet coke anywhere you go. You put it in your wallet. So I like have this little. It's like a little salt packet that you get at a restaurant. It's glad bagged. Yeah, so I have this little baggie in my wallet and I pull it out and I do my drink.

You've got a baggie of crystals in your wallet? Yeah, I do. It's crystallised lime and I put it in my McDonald's Diet Coke. Ask Jess. It's delicious. We both do it. Is it good? It is okay.

It's so good. And Utah mum TikTok got me onto it and I have no shame. My eyes are watering at the thought of how sour that would be. No, it's not. It's proper lime. I also learnt one thing that I'm going to be asking for for Christmas is a benchtop ice maker. Nugget ice machine.

Yeah, a nugget ice machine. I tried to buy you one for Christmas. Did you actually? No, I tried to buy you one for your wedding present. No, you didn't. And do you know nowhere in Australia makes them? And I thought about importing one. And then I was worried the conversion wouldn't work

and it would like leak and stuff because like the voltage and all that kind of stuff. So I benched it for now. If anyone knows where to get a nugget ice maker in Australia, you have one customer standing right here. I am waiting. Make it two. Let's move on though because people aren't here to learn about Diet Coke or lime juice or beignets or Utah mums or even that Victoria wants a nugget ice machine.

They're actually here to talk about money, specifically community money wins. Miss Jessica Ricci, what have you round up this week for us? We're going to start off with a festive one. Teagan said my husband and I did an early Valentine's dinner to avoid having to pay for inflated dinner packages smart so smart because so many places you only do set menu which sucks if you're like me and you're fussy because nine times out of ten at least one of the courses I'm like I don't want that I also find when it's set menu like you don't need that much food like I don't know about you guys but my partner and I often like do an entree each

and then we'll like share a main and like a side and a salad and then be like oh we've got enough room for dessert and like that is not what happens when you go and do the set menu because Valentine's Day, that's what we did. Yeah. Sucked in. Tegan was smart. I did get sucked in. Tegan is much smarter than me. File that one away for next year. Great. I'm feeling great about myself. These money wins just keep on giving. My next money win comes from Labanya who said, my husband wanted to buy a smartwatch for a while. Last year, both of us upgraded our phones outright, so I didn't buy him the watch. It was originally $800, then it went on sale for $600. Then I did some digging online and found one on Bingley for $4.90. So then I went to Officeworks to get the price match

plus the additional 5% off that they do. So all up, I paid $472 for a $799 Samsung Watch 5 Pro. Hubby was super surprised. What a genius. The runaround. Yes, but I didn't even know that there was an additional 5% at Officeworks. And I feel like Officeworks has all of these random things that I didn't even know they sold. Yeah. Watches. Did Do you know Officeworks did watches? I thought they just did printers. No, I thought that they only sold humongous bags of Mentos. Oh, my God, I get it.

That's so good. That's it. The giant tins of Milo. Yeah. Why are they so big? I don't know. It's commercial. It's meant to be for your catering kitchen.

Yeah, okay. Or for the office only jar. For the office. Yeah. Just clocked right now. Yeah, you're on? You're on. All right, Jess, what is next?

I thought it was one serving size. You were like, this is my type of Milo jar. Finally, someone sees me. Someone gets me. My next money win comes from Debbie who said, After having knee reconstructive surgery, my income protection insurance claim was just approved. The recovery time for this surgery is 12 months,

so the money is very much welcome. What? 12 months? Isn't that crazy? Oh, my gosh. How awful. Super awful and a really good example of why income protection, all of those insurances that I had never heard of until I listened

to this podcast are really important. And now you have them because your boss is a bully? Pretty much. Pretty much. And he sent me all up. Quick note on that, actually, because I feel like I've gotten a lot of DMs recently because everyone seems to be getting their finances in order and people are asking me a lot, oh, what do I do about my insurances? Like you mentioned someone on a podcast at some point,

that person would have been Phil Thompson from Sky Wealth. And you can either go directly to him and be like, hey, the girls at She's On The Money say that you have to look after me, or you can actually head to our website, she'sonthemoney.com.au, and we can match you with somebody who can help you out with your situation. So you can go to that website and say, I just want my insurances sorted and we'll send you to the right person. Or you might even want some financial advice and you'll be like, okay, cool. Well, I don't just want insurances. I want financial advice and I really want to look at everything holistically. And we have a whole panel of people that we recommend because as you guys know, I'm no longer a financial advisor.

So I've had to bring in all of my big dog friends to look after you guys. Really, really good. We'll pop a link in the show notes where you can fill that out this week as well. My next money win comes from Dani who said she got 15 free credit points from ClassPass by threatening to cancel her membership that is i love a little bully three whole pilates classes for free oh pilates classes are spino too very very expensive you could get a lot just by blackmailing honestly and yeah class pass is that what you're bringing to the podcast in 2023 that's not our that's not our angle is it no no blackmailing sorry just i've i've noticed that with like i've tried to join like fitness first and stuff like this and i kind of if i'm sitting

on the fence about it they'll send me firstly like 30 a week and then it goes down to 20 all week and then I'm just going to wait and wait and wait until it's really cheap and then jump on it because I'm going to join either way. But I'm waiting until it's real, real cheap. She's a smart girl. So that's a money win, class pass, gym, same, same. It reminds me of that movie that came out last year called Queen Pins. Do you remember that? Jess, I feel like you'd be all over it and if you haven't seen it yet, I think it's on Prime and given you're the queen of Amazon, I know that you have Prime. Sure do. But it was all about these people who were like super couponers over in the US and then they learnt that you could complain

and a company would then send you a free product. So they'd get the coupons of the free product and then they started like reproducing them and printing them and it was like this whole scam and then they were selling the coupons. Anyway, it was a very sorry. That sounds so up my alley. Yeah, I know.

That's why I was like surely. Yeah, extreme couponing gone scammers. Like I just feel like Jess would love that. I'll have to check it out. That's brilliant. Speaking of docketing actually, Andrea said she used her Flybuys dollars this week to pay for fuel so she only had to pay $8.

Oh, my gosh. And fuel's so expensive at the moment. It just went up to $2. Oh, gross. And my very last win that I have this week is from Abby. She said, money win. I recycled my laptop through Apple's trade-in process and received a voucher to spend with them,

so I pretty much got free AirPods that are going to arrive tomorrow. Money win. Speaking of recycling, Jess, was it you on TikTok the other day that said that you can take your furniture back to IKEA? Oh, my gosh, yes. How good is that? Yeah, you can jump online and just they have like an estimator. So you put in what furniture you have.

My Calix shelves, they are going home. Laid to rest from whence they came. RIP. So what, there's an estimator online? Yeah, you pick the condition. It's like kind of excellent average poor. And it will give you an estimation. I mean, you've had it forever, so that seems pretty fair.

That's thrifty. We love that. And they'll give you an estimation what they think you're going to get back. And then you just take it straight in. They'll have someone check it over. and they're actually really good because one of my things, I had marked it as I think average and they're like, no, it's in like great condition. We'll give you the higher price point. So they actually check it properly and are like quite generous with it. And then you just get a voucher.

I got 200 bucks back and that paid for my new TV unit. And it meant that I didn't have to get rid of the stuff. And it was a little bit easier than selling a marketplace, which you know, I love, but coordinating with people, huge pain in the ass. So just taking it straight back to Ikea could be good. I have a business idea. Okay. You might like it, Bec. So what you're going to do is you're going to go on Facebook Marketplace. I had this thought and I was like, it might be a little bit unethical. I didn't, maybe I'll blame Jess. I still don't know where we're going. I feel like Jess and I live in the same brain. I was just going to say, I know. Because you like blinked a certain way and just was like, yep, I get it.

Yeah, it was my body twitch and she was like, yep, okay. And then I know exactly where she's Yes, say less. Three words. And I was like, I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you're talking about. I feel like this happens every day, Bec. But what you do is you go on Facebook Marketplace and find all of the free pieces of furniture that are IKEA furniture that people are trying to get rid of. You take them to IKEA.

Okay. Or you get bank. That is so clever. Or hard rubbish as well. Yeah. It's probably not a good business idea since you only get store credits. Yeah. But you could go along the Queen Pins route and sell your store credits.

Yep. Yep. Yep. I just feel like this. buy furniture, build it, sell it like, oh, I already, you know, I already have one of these for some reason. Yeah. And then sell those brand new, great condition. And then you get money eventually. Yeah. I feel like that is very backwards. I'm not going to go buy something brand new from Ikea to make it, to sell it back to them at a loss. You are not in charge of the

financial planning in this situation. Let's go to a really quick break. And on the other side, we're going to talk about a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about buying property. and we're going to unpack something that a couple of you guys have slid into our DMs about recently, and that's the bank of mum and dad. So don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. You know, I'm so about the property journey right now. I'm so in the thick of it, and so I'm pumped to hear this week's Money Dilemma, because apparently it's all about property. It is. Let's have a listen. hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the money team is here

to help every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money career and life questions to get involved simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show now let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma? My partner and I got married last year so we are starting to build our savings again as well as pay off one of our credit cards. It's got about $7,000 on it. We are looking to buy a house next year or the year after. We're just trying to get a deposit together and I was wondering how much should we be looking at saving for this deposit and when is a good time to reach out in regards to broker information or lending information. Thank you. Look forward to hearing

from you. She sounds lovely. This is a very good question and actually perfectly timed because we have Kate, our resident mortgage broker from Zella Money coming on the show next week to talk about buying property and what's going on in the property market in 2023. But do you know what? I feel like the best person to directly talk about this because you're on that journey right now is you, Jess, what are your recommendations? I feel like there is no such thing as reaching out to a broker too soon because I reached out when I thought I was maybe kind of a year and a half-ish out from my journey. And it turns out the journey has been a lot longer than I'd hoped for, but it was really helpful because it allowed me to firstly find a broker that I liked, which wasn't something that

I anticipated having to do. And as you know, we've spoken about it before, I found I had to jump through a couple before I obviously ended up with Kate, who is the best. That's what you get. That's what you get for trying to keep it out of the business and out of work and not mix work and pleasure. Turns out you should just mix work and pleasure. Who would have thought? So that was a whole time thing that I didn't anticipate. And then obviously just being able to prepare. So in this situation, you can talk to a broker. They might say, hey, well, you've got this credit card debt. It might be more valuable for you to pay off that before you apply for the loan, because maybe it's more detrimental than the amount of money that you could get. Or maybe they might say, oh,

well, you think you need a 10% deposit, but actually there's this scheme that's just come in and you only need five that you wouldn't have known about. So I feel like it's better to talk to your broker sooner than later because they just know so much more than anybody else does. And they'll be able to tell you what things you need to do to get ready. They might be able to give you a rough timeline and help you out. And then you can kind of just touch base with them as you're going, as Kate will attest to, because at least once a fortnight, she gets a text from being like, hey, crazy annoying question. But it's just helpful to be able to go, oh, if I have a question, they're there to answer it for you.

A hundred percent. And I feel like a lot of people think that they're a burden when they reach out and they're like, but I'm not ready to buy. Like they're going to think I'm wasting their time. And it's like, no, I promise a mortgage broker can actually sort out the people who are legitimately on that property buying journey, even if they're like two or three years out. And those people that are time wasters promise you that it's not their first rodeo. But also, a mortgage broker is actually going to love the fact that you're there early. There's no time pressure. There's no you turning up and being like, oh my gosh, Kate, I found this house this weekend and I want to settle on it. I want to put an offer in.

I feel like that's worse. Yeah, that's worse. That's scrambling to make things happen. And a good broker will do that and bend over backwards for you. But Jess, we got you in early so we could set up your cash flow and set things up and make sure that you've dotted all your I's and crossed all your T's because sometimes you just don't realize. Sometimes you'd go, oh, I didn't even know that was a thing. And just like you said, sometimes a broker is going to go, oh, Jess, did you actually know you could buy now instead of later? Like you don't need that 20% deposit that you're working towards. So the question here was like, how much should I be saving? Well, I can't tell you that because

I don't know the semantics of your situation. I don't know how much you're buying for, how much your combined income is, what your expenses are or what your life looks like, or even where you're going to be purchasing because it will really depend on location too because sometimes you need a higher deposit for different locations around Australia, which is wild to think about. But I do think you should get in touch with a mortgage broker. And one thing that we find really helpful, and Jess, you've been through this, is the hour of power with our Zella Money team where they'll actually sit you down and instead of just having a normal broking conversation, they'll sit down and go,

all right, Bec, where are we at? What are your goals? And actually, instead of sitting down and just doing your borrowing capacity that actually help you set up a budget and a cash flow that gets you to the goal that you're working towards and give you a lot more accountability and a cash flow system that works and something that's actually going to help you on that journey. It's a lot more hands on. But if you're in that position where you're like, I'm not really sure what I'm doing or where I'm going and I want to talk to a broker, but I don't even know what I want to buy.

Maybe an hour of power session is going to turbocharge that journey and actually give you the clarity you're looking for. Yeah, 100%. All right, let's move on from that. As much as I love talking about property, there's going to be a lot of it next week. Let's move on to our community concern because this week we're unpacking something that you guys slid into our DMs about, which is the bank of mom and dad. So I want to talk about it. The message that we got was, hello ladies, hoping for a little bit of wisdom here. I'm struggling to come to terms with a friend of mine who just gets handouts from her parents left, right, and center. I have to work really hard to be able to afford a new dress

or even a bottomless brunch and she can just message her dad and say, I'm out of money, can you pay for my brunch? And he'll just transfer her money. I know that's not her fault. I'm battling with my own feelings of jealousy as I wish it came that easy for me too sometimes. But I was just wondering if you guys had any pointers for navigating the feelings I'm having around money. Bec, you seem infuriated. No, I just, I relate to this so much. It's such a hard thing to balance because I, on the one hand, want to be so happy for my friends who either like, you know, get inheritance. It doesn't have to be from their mom and dad, just anyone in their family who has the ability to one day give the money to one day buy a house. I know that I'll

never, no matter what way you look at my life, I'm never ever going to have that. And so I'm constantly weighing up, like feeling so not good about it, feeling like, oh my God, I wish I had that, but then genuinely being happy. And then also, if you look past my friend who just received all this money, you're looking at an adult who purposely wanted this for their future children or grandchildren. So good on them for being able to make that happen. Yeah, 100%. It's just a very, I totally know that feeling of being like- It's a juxtaposition, right? Like you want to feel good for them, but then you're also low-key envious, but then you're also like, why shouldn't you work as hard as I do for this? But then you

can also see that if their parents have set them up in that way, like they're getting a lot of gratification out of it. It must be really hard. Jess, is this something that you see in, you know, friendship groups around you? It's not super common. I think the friends that I have, none of them are ones that sound like this person where they're, I guess, taking advantage of it. But I do have friends who have found themselves in situations where they've, you know, things have been really tight and they have asked their parents for help and their parents have been able to. And I agree, like I've never received money from my parents and I never will receive money from my parents and it's one of those things where you kind of go it's like an equity thing I guess

you go oh like I love my family and you know it's really hard to think about some families generationally have created that wealth and have you know potentially really thought about setting their kids up and doing those things and if you're from a family where maybe that wasn't a position they were able to be in it's not because they didn't love you but it is also hard because you go oh well this person gets opportunities that I don't know if I had that money I could do this And, you know, it is really tough to, I guess, balance the emotional side of it and feeling like you're lesser than or that your family is lesser than when really it's just the card of hands that a lot of people were dealt.

And there's nothing that you can do about that. But I feel like she's being very self-aware, like she's saying, oh, my gosh, like I know. How do I deal with this? Exactly. Which I think is a really great thing, because if you let those feelings sit, it just makes you feel icky and gross. A hundred percent. And it seems really common because we took it to you guys and asked you and did a few

polls online and we said, do you have a friend that benefits from the bank of mum and dad? And 67% of you said yes, which it's not a bad thing. And I think that what we need to really outline here is this is not a conversation of judgment because as you said before, Bec, like, you know, parents have planned for that, or there might be intergenerational wealth at play. Someone at some point has worked really hard so that situation can occur. But I think it can be really hard when you're comparing yourself and this plays into the conversation of comparison culture, right? And like me seeing Jess's situation being like, oh, I'm so envious of everything she does. But then Jess, you know, maybe looking back at me and going, well,

I'm envious of stuff you're doing. When in reality, we should just be sticking to our own lanes and seeing our own finances and seeing our own situations for what they are instead of what could have been or what might have been if our situations were different, because that doesn't change anything like you and I could sit here all day and talk about like oh well what if we got massive inheritances and no one at this table is going to be in that position like it's just not who we are it's not the families that we come from and that's totally okay but we could talk about it all day like what would you do with a million dollars or what would you do or what would you do back if your parents helped you buy a hat like it's nice to sometimes have conversations that are

aspirational but I don't believe that's aspirational because it can't happen so why are we hindering ourselves with these ideas and thoughts. Instead, why don't we go, oh, they've bought a house and like they got a leg up. But you know what? I live in Australia. I have a good job. How can I do that for myself? Like, is that not something that we should be rewarding more or celebrating more? Like, I know that every single house purchase or every single financial goal in our community that's achieved is for the greater good. And it's kind of like that quote that we talk about all the time, a rising tide lifts all ships. But I think we really need to go back to where we come from and go, is that constructive for us to talk about this? Is that actually, you know, going to put me

in a better place having had this conversation? Or should I be channeling my efforts into something that I can actually change or that I have power over? And the easiest way to be disheartened about a circumstance or any type of situation is to put yourself in a situation where you know that that's not achievable. It feels like trash. Like it feels awful. The second I start being like, oh, Bec, so you won't get an inheritance. What are you going to do about that? That's a trash conversation to have. Let's not have it. Bec, what are you going to do? Oh my gosh, you've talked about on the podcast being bankrupt before. And now, you know, before this episode, Bec and I were having a good conversation about credit scores and how to build yours up.

And I think you didn't realize how good of a position you were in. And I think it's how do we build you up to put you in the best possible position because we don't all have the same start point. That's so true. And it is something that I'm learning. It is possible no matter where you start, no matter how far back you've gone, it's possible to better your money situation. And that is huge. I wrote abundance mindset. I love it. Yeah. What do you reckon? I actually wrote something down this morning as I was drying my hair. And I was thinking about this idea because someone on TikTok responded to one of my videos and were like, oh, what's the point? It's 50 bucks a month. It's not actually going to put you in a position where you have millions to retire. Like, what's

the point? And I was just like, what, what, what isn't the point? Like every step in the right direction is a step that is going to put you ahead. And by not taking any action at all and being like, what's the point? You're actually securing your worst possible fate. Like instead of saying, oh yeah, well actually I do do $10 a month and it's working towards my financial future. At the end of that, is that not better than having nothing at all because you didn't take action and I feel like it's such a Gen Z and millennial tone of voice I suppose to go well what's the point we'll never buy a house or what's the point you know everybody else has it given to them or what's the point my friend's mum gives her everything like that's not the point isn't

every step in the right direction a step in the right direction and shouldn't we be seeing it for what it is like even if you invest over your entire lifetime and you're like okay cool V I only have 20 bucks a month, but I've been doing that since I was 18. It's going to put me in a position where I have, you know, $300,000 more than I was going to have had I not. Some people might say it and be like, but you need millions to retire. Isn't $300,000 a lot more than what you didn't have already? It's more than zero. But do you know what I mean? It blows my mind that there's this idea of, well, why bother? And I feel like the bank of mom and dad can play into that because you see your friends and you see this comparison culture and you immediately go, well, what's the

point. Yeah. They've got everything given to them. Why should I even bother? I don't have that. Like I'm never going to be successful. And it blows my mind. What did the people say? What did everyone else kind of think? Were they on the same wavelength? They absolutely were. It's actually a little bit colorful. And this week we got a few more emotional responses than we usually get. So someone said, this was something I realized when I started work and it made me feel better about not comparing myself to others when I learned how much intergenerational wealth has helped some people. And that's from somebody who is an estate planning lawyer. Someone said, my parents helped me with money to get a property at 24 that I live in now. I actually feel really

guilty as I've avoided the rental crisis. And that's not something I can say is true for my friends. Yeah. I guess there's the flip side of that. Hey, like, I mean, some people probably aren't self-aware enough to realize the impact that they're having on their friends by being privileged. But for some people, maybe they feel awkward about it too. Yeah. I live in this world where I just don't think privilege shouldn't exist. I think that if we are going to have privilege existing, we actually just need to be acknowledging it. Like I am privileged because I am a white woman who grew up in Australia and had every opportunity thrown at her. Yes, I didn't come from intergenerational wealth, but like I had super supportive parents and I

went to a good school. And those things at a base level are, I guess, gratuities or things that weren't extended to other people in our community. And I think that we need to, regardless of what our level of privilege, we need to acknowledge that. And if it happens to be you've got intergenerational wealth, great. Like be self-aware of it. I think if we like shifted this conversation a bit and your friend in this circumstance was a bit more self-aware, maybe that wouldn't make you feel as bad if your friend was like, oh my gosh, yes. Or maybe was a little bit more sneaky about it and less like, oh, just get mom and dad to pay for it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like it's the conversation around it because having grown up in an area where we

weren't wealthy but there were a lot of wealthy people like I remember talking to my parents and then being like yep we're not going to be able to afford to purchase you your first car and I was like yep of course I'll work for that and then you know going to school and one of the girls I went to school with having been given a brand new BMW for her 16th birthday but I remember that juxtaposition of being like wow like she has this and you know my parents have said that I need to save and mum and dad were like and you know we can match you to this and help you and like my parents were so good but you know even then you just feel a bit like oh like how does this happen yeah but that person never acknowledged their privilege and I think that makes it worse like

that makes it feel weird as though they deserve it yeah like that's not the case at all um someone else said good communication always goes a long way, which I think was really good. Someone said this happened with my partner. She doesn't understand my upbringing with money and it can cause drama because I feel especially guilty because she got her uni fees paid for and has family savings and doesn't have to worry at all. Yeah. Like that's so true, right? Like I don't know about you guys, Beck, you would be exactly the same as me. You just had to go to work. The second you got to an age where you could earn income go to work exactly like that's how it's going to work for you another person said when my friend's parents are guarantors on their property

loans and my parents won't offer to it makes me feel like trash like that's really hard someone else said well it's not really teaching her the reality of the world yeah but I would argue that's the reality of her world exactly like and that's not the reality like just because another reality exists doesn't mean you have to experience it for it to be true. Exactly. Someone said I'm very transparent with my close friends about how my parents really support me and lend me slash give me money which I think is really good and I think if you're in that circumstance can we just be transparent about it? Yeah. Like if your parents are being guarantors on your property I know that sometimes people feel a little bit guilty like a little bit like oh I don't want to tell anybody

because like I want people to know that I worked really hard for this because sometimes I feel like if you admit that you had a guarantor, it's diminishing the efforts that you put towards getting that property. And I'm not saying that it does it all, but it also diminishes the feelings of your friends if you don't admit to them how you somehow came up with a $250,000 deposit when they're scrambling to get their first $100,000 together as a couple. Does that make sense? It can feel like, oh, wow, I didn't even know they were saving for a house and all of a sudden they've got a $1.2 million property with their partner. What? How did this happen? Like, oh yeah, like we'd just been saving what? Yeah, it makes it go both ways. My favorite

response that I saw said transparency helps. When my friends started buying $1.5 million properties, I was shocked. But then when I asked if they had family help, most of them did. It made me feel better knowing what had happened. And after talking to one of my friends, she was self-aware of the privilege and it made us feel so much closer having that conversation. I think this person, aka the person who DM'd us, needs to talk to her friend about how she feels and maybe even set some boundaries around what activities they can do together if she's feeling like there's a bit of financial stress on her because she has less money than her friend or less room in her budget. Otherwise, just being open about it might help the friendship. It's hard to tell if the rich

friend here is being ignorant or if she's just pressuring her to keep up. Yeah, 100%. And I think the crux of this conversation is comparison is the thief of joy. And we absolutely should not be comparing ourselves to anybody else's circumstances, but then also acknowledging that maybe there is some family help there sometimes that you don't even see. And it's also that crash landing pad, right? Like you see friends who do rely on their parents. They might be more likely to take on risks because they know like if everything fails and if I blow the budget and like I go to Europe and I come home with absolutely nothing, mom and dad will look after me. Whereas that's not the reality for a lot of people. Like that's not an option. Like you don't

have anybody to rely on. And I think that the bank of mum and dad is not just about home guarantors and big amounts of money being gifted. I think sometimes it can also be that financial security of knowing that somebody else has your back. It might be 50 bucks, like you might not come from a super high income family, but you know, if everything hit the fan tomorrow, you've got parents that you can call me like, hey, mum, I really need help. I'm in a bit of a pickle. and that is not something that is extended to everybody in our community either and I feel like that for me also falls into the bank of mum and dad which is that feeling of financial security when you have good relationships with family members. Super interesting and if you do want

to have those conversations with us make sure you're following us on Instagram we're at she's on the money AUS we share our community concern every single week and we want you to weigh in because it's really interesting to get all of those different perspectives. 100% but speaking of talking to us in person, Jessica. What's happening soon? Oh my gosh, it's only a few short weeks until International Women's Day. We are so freaking pumped about it, you guys. 17 sleeps. Oh my gosh, not that she's counting or anything. But if you haven't already, I believe two of our four cities are, there's like 15 to 20 tickets left. They're slim pickings. Very slim pickings. So if you haven't grabbed your ticket, please head to the website. We'll link it in the

show notes. It's so exciting. This week we announced the goodie bags. They vary a little bit city by city, but they're all worth over $300. It's actually so exciting. I cannot believe that our team has pulled this together. It's wild. The brands that we have are unreal. And if you want to see that, head to the Instagram because we did a post summarizing it all so you can have a little squiz. Do you want me to give you a little bit of a hint? I'll go ahead. If you're just a listener. Please. Okay. So we have our friends on board from GoToSkincare. We've got Adore Beauty, Cadbury Chocolates, Naked Harvest, The Quick Flick. We've got our friends from LSKD, which Jess and I are obsessed with.

They're a whole heap. We've also got Skinstitute and Frank Body, which I am obsessed with just to do some name dropping, you know. Oh, my God, yeah, where there's these beautiful face masks. Bank of mum and dad people they name drop. Oh, yeah. So definitely if you want to grab a ticket, please head to the website. We're so excited to be putting on.

We couldn't do it without our friends from Cherzies, who have just been absolutely incredible and so supportive of us. They really embody, I think, the whole idea that we really love behind International Women's Day. They've got Brooke Roberts, who will actually be making an appearance at some of the events, which is so exciting. She's the coolest person and she's a part of their CEO team. We love a business led by a female. We just truly do. And I feel like they have always been super supportive of the content we create, which obviously is one thing to say, but they really walk the walk. Like they really embrace the content that we create so that other people can be in better financial

circumstances because of them and people can start their investing journeys. Like I'm obsessed with them, which you guys already know. But I think that's enough. If you want International Women's Day tickets, our link will be in the show notes along with all of the links for everything else we've mentioned this episode. Guys, it's been a good week. I hope you have a good weekend and we'll see you again on Monday. See you guys then. Bye. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy

a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.