She's On The Money - Finding Out Your Colleague Makes More—and How to Fix It

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Ever found out a coworker’s doing the same job for more pay? Infuriating right? Today, we’re taking a deep dive into this dilemma. Join us as we dissect jaw-dropping negotiation stories, discuss how to get paid what you’re worth, and tackle the awkward money moments in relationships, like whether your partner should really be running to the Bank of Mum and Dad. Plus, of course, all the regular Friday fun! Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun even on Fridays. It is our favorite day of the week because we get the team together and celebrate you. How incredible she's on the money community. Today, Ms. Jasgrigi is going to be sharing her favorite money wins from our community with you. Ms. Bex Syed is going to be sharing her broke tips and we're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about what to do when you find out your colleague is doing the same job as you, but is getting paid more to do it and something that you slid into our dms about this week we're talking about whether you should ask your partner to stop going to the bank of mom and dad oh that's gonna be hard

happy hallow weekend happy hallow weekend that's a thing absolutely it is oh my god i've never heard that before that's that's clever i feel like that's a it's a big uni thing i didn't know it was the thing it's my wedding anniversary yeah weekend well so you could it could go either way because some people celebrated last weekend because this obviously Halloween this week is in the middle of the week so it's take your guess has just been like both yeah absolutely I love that I love that um in not so spooky news it what is my wedding anniversary this weekend and I'm so excited about that two years but get this you you guys are gonna be like sorry what the hotel that we got married at we were like so excited because we thought this is going to be lame but we could

like go for a staycay on our anniversary and as our family grows like take take the kids and stuff so we had booked this staycay for a couple of nights at the hotel that we got married at and we were so excited to take Harvey and then they called us and said they don't accept children at the hotel anymore what did they say oh no I don't know what if anything happened but they were like yeah you can't bring your kid and I'm like my kid is nearly eight months old um I will not just be like leaving him at home so what are you gonna do oh we're not going we're not going we're just gonna hang out oh it's fine but you know when you're just like that's a strange rule also I want to know what happened that made you ban kids in general you just know that someone's kid was

like running up the hallway smearing shit on the walls or like something extreme yeah because if If it wasn't, like fair enough if it was a kid-free hotel to begin with, like an adults-only hotel, but it wasn't. Remember, I have my wedding there. There were kids everywhere. So I'm really curious to know what's in. I just need to know the goss. Anyway, anyway, moving on.

We have some new five-star reviews, guys. Miss Jessica Ricci, do you want to start us off this week? Absolutely. My one is from Kate. Cute name. Cute. Yeah. And she said, I love this podcast so much.

It has taught me so much about money that I wish I knew years ago. We love you so much. Better late than never. Highly recommend. And we do. We love you, Kate. Love you, Kate. It is so sweet.

I was in Spotlight yesterday and I met one of our She's On The Money community members and I looked like a bogan. I was wearing my socks and my Birkenstocks together. I call them Birkensocks. And I was buying embroidery thread and did not look my best. And she was like, hi. What are you embroidering? I saw it on your stories.

Oh my gosh, I'm making Santa sacks. also I really like you know how online I don't know if anybody else is as chronically online as me but I've seen a lot of girls buy like jeans that have like little flower embroidery patches on their like jean backs and pockets and stuff and I think it's so cute and they're so expensive and I'm like can't be that hard you could just do it yourself I could do it myself and thread like colored thread is like a dollar fifty each so I was like this could be me and also I have ADHD. So it's my current hyperfixation. It's my hobby. I'll probably have a new one in two weeks. Thank you. Great. Well, before you get there, can you embroider me some jeans? I would. Yeah. Let

me learn first. I mean, I have done embroidery before, but like, let me just brush up on my skills and then you let me know what you want and I'll do it for you. Perfect. Thank you so much. Exactly. But I want to know what's your five star review that you're going to share this week, Bec? Okay. So this one comes from Brooke. Brooke says, I'm absolutely loving this podcast. It's all I want to listen to 24-7. I appreciate the way Victoria Devine explains complicated and confusing in brackets for someone with no financial background subjects in a way that is simple and easy to understand. Thank you so much. How nice is that? I know. Thank you so much for this amazing resource. Fabulous. She's on the money team. I love that. That is so nice. Also there's

like 700 plus episodes so we can be in your ears all the time. Also I wouldn't wish that upon anybody like that's a lot it's fair if you want it but maybe you don't want it also like i mean thank you for the five star review i really appreciate it but there are a lot of other good podcasts my favorite one is morbid you should like mix it up a little bit because only wanting to listen to this girl she's only human i don't blame her it's true it's true it's true i have one though this one's from marie kim she says love the empowering energy i'm a long away from being a millennial. My 30-something daughter put me on to She's On The Money. Oh, love it.

But I figure it's never too late to learn about money and finances. So true. She's so right. Financial literacy is so important for women and no matter what age you are or what your current knowledge level is, this is a fantastic podcast. Lifelong learning is the key. That is so cool. I love that. Isn't it cute? Hi, everyone's welcome. I feel like you guys might have noticed we have been moving away from the hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials. because I'm like our community is so diverse yeah like and over the last what six months or so we've

been like the podcast that makes personal finance fun and I think that that's really like it's important to point that out as well because we're not just for millennials like we have so many younger people and also so many older people like we have women in their 70s and I think we had a message what was it like a couple of months ago and they said my grandma who's 81 listened to your podcast and thought it was really fun. That's cool. Iconic. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. There's probably an untapped retiree market we could get into. I reckon. What do you know about retirement? Not much yet, but hopefully soon. Hopefully. We're working on it. Let's go on to the money wins from our community this week. Jess,

what are you bringing to the table wearing a witch's hat? All Friday. Firstly, this week, I have one from Holly who said, because of She's In The Money's recommendation to build an emergency fund. For the first time ever, I was able to pay an unexpected $300 bill that popped up with cash instead of putting it on my credit card. Isn't that so cool? And you're not just staying out of debt. How good does it feel? Holy moly. I've got the cash for that. And that's me changing my money story. Yeah. And lots of sweet people were getting around Holly on the thread, which was super cute. We love to see it. Next, I've got a money win from Lauren who said, I told my boss that I was working on saving some money to buy some new furniture

and she offered me an extra 12-hour shift to pick up. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I love that. Oh, that's a photo of a truck that was tailgating me. He had no brake light. Anyway, next I've got a money win from Katie who said she recommended our fabulous celebrant to two couples who we know who both ended

up booking her for their wedding. The celebrant ended up sending us a $100 restaurant voucher as a thank you. That's so nice. It's so sweet to go out for dinner on us. You're a new couple and probably spent all your money on your wedding anyway. I know, but that was just like so thoughtful and sweet. Next, I've got a money win from Sarah who said she saved $10,000 off of their new shed

build just by getting an extra quote. She said she usually gets three, but this time around she just ended up getting four and the last one that came in was $10,000 cheaper than all the others. Whoa. What? Get your quotes. Get more than you think. See, I need to go get some driveway quotes.

There you go. Yeah, because like ours came in and I was like absolutely not and so right now I have like a derelict front yard because we've started demolishing and then we realised that the quotes that came back, I was like, I am not willing to pay that. Expensive. Absolutely not.

Yeah, but just exorbitant. Like I know that putting in a new driveway, it's not going to be cheap, Jess. Yeah. But like don't take the mickey, you know. I'm not going to play with you if you're not going to play nice. Shop around. Well, I suggest at least four.

At least four. Sarah's recommendation. So there you go. All right. What else have you got? And lastly this week, I've got a money win from Maddie who said a brow salon that she's visited in the past posted on their Instagram story because they had a couple of free slots for a brow and lash appointment if you are happy to be a content model because they needed

it for the Instagram. You can take pics. Take pics anytime. Absolutely. So Maddie swooped in, snagged a booking and saved herself $120. $120? Because I guess it was a free treatment. It's getting so expensive.

Do you guys remember, Bec, you're probably going to be like, nah, never, when like a full set of nails was like $30. Crazy. Do you remember when you used to get them like at like end of high school, like $30 and you get these chunky-ass acrylics and they're like terrible. You know the ones with the really thick white tits? The wide, yeah. Oh, they sound so good though.

But like they were $30. Yeah, they'd be like. How much are they now? Plastic-y. Oh, you're paying like $70 at least to get your nails done nowadays. It's immaterial. And, I mean, we live in, like, what, central Melbourne. So, like, it might be less out of Melbourne.

But, like, I'm not saying it's not worth it. Like, absolutely not. Like, still pay your nail techs. They deserve it. But at the end of the day, like, just remember when things didn't feel as expensive. So expensive. Yeah. That's why I do my nails at home.

I do my nails at home as well and I love it. But I do pay for my brows and lashes. That's not something I'm willing to mess around with. We all know I'd mess it around real bad. Yeah. I'd come in with no eyebrows and you'd be like, I thought they were tattooed on Victoria. How bad did you ruin it?

And that's it for me this week. I love that. All right, Bec, have you got some little broke tips? If so, what are they? I do. Actually, just really quickly, I almost had a money loss this week. So what was it? And I just, I feel it's important to tell in case anyone else gets one of these.

So I got an email the other day and it was like Rebecca Syed and it had my date of birth. That's you, yeah. And it was like, how do I know this? It was very like, it was scammy, but it was also very like, they're talking to me. And they're like, we've tapped your computer and we're going to share all of your.

Oh, I've got that one before. Yeah, and I was like. Excuse me? And they're like, all this time you've been rebuilding your reputation. I was like, I don't know what they're talking about. But I was also like, I'm scared about what they. But also, I have been trying to keep a clean little reputation. Yeah, I was like, I guess everyone knows everything about me.

But I was like, is there? I don't know. And so you start questioning yourself. And then I was like, we're nice people. Just send us $2,000 and move. And I was like, what is? Anyway, I didn't end up doing anything, obviously, because I was like, I guess I don't, you know, I'm not too worried.

And nothing happened. But I guess if there's someone out there. You're like, what are you going to do? Say something bad about me? Have a fun time. Yeah. You're going to send photos of me to everyone? Everyone has the ugliest photos of me that I've ever seen.

So I'm not worried. You think you can say something to me that I haven't said to myself? Sit down. It's just a copy-paste email. I think they assume that everyone has something they want to hide and they're just hoping that someone goes, oh, like I've got photos or I've got screenshots or I've got something that I don't want to get out.

Share them. Share them. Are they photos of me pre-baby? Yeah. Show people what it was. Is it me looking down at my phone with a double chin? Sure. Send it.

Completely. You are welcome. Anyway, in case anyone gets one of those, don't do anything about it because it's not real. No, they're not. They're fully just hoping that you'll panic and you'll send them away. I do really enjoy the scam the scammer videos that are going around at the moment.

I love those. I love it. And when the guy pretends to be the little old lady and he's like, oh, yes, I got the Apple gift card. And he's like, yes, read me the numbers. And then he's like, yes, I've just put it in and I bought something with it that's so exciting. And the scammer's like, you're not meant to do that. It's just sweet revenge. Oh, yeah.

If you're a scammer, you deserve it. You deserve every awful thing that's coming to you. Back to Broke Tips, Bec. Yes. Okay. So this first one comes from a friend of mine who says, if you save, this is all Halloween theme just by the way. Yay. Yay.

Hey, if you save your- Oh, we didn't Halloween theme our money wins. There weren't any, really. I did look. Beck had a money loss. Oh, and Neil money loss. Spooky. I'm going to be doing that all day.

Okay, so my friend says that if you, you know, at the end of Easter, like everything's super cheap, like all the eggs and stuff like that. She said if you save all those- Jess knows. You save all those and you put those really cheap. You can also, like, Boxing Day, things like that, any kind of day where chocolate is crazy cheap the next day or day of or whatever just bulk buy and kids don't mind if their chocolate's got a little bit of that fat bloom on it they're gonna

eat it they don't mind i did i wouldn't eat it as a kid so be careful because i think that jess would be the same what's good i don't know you know where they get the little white the white cast on chocolate is that what that is yeah yeah it's the fats in the chocolate coming out it's usually like just like cocoa butter like it's not actually sounding but it's cocoa butter like that's in chocolate like it's good for you it's not bad it just like starts to separate over time because I just thought the chocolate was going bad I've never really given it that much no so you were like over and out you can cook with it still though because it will remelt into your ingredients I buy the like mini eggs but then I regret the mini eggs when I decide to

use that chocolate for a recipe and I have to hand unwrap all these tiny little eggs and put them in a bowl until like you get 200 grams or something and I'm like why did I do this oh my gosh why is there not a tiktok hack yet for quickly undoing all of them because sometimes like you're I am ravenous sometimes I'm insatiable especially with these little eggs I like that it slows me down yeah that's fair yeah like I need to be I need to be held back from the chocolates and so No, individually wrapped things help because you best believe if I buy a whole block of chocolate, she's gone. Gone.

She's gone. Like I opened it, it's one serving. One packet equals one serving. Yeah, no, I agree with that. I agree with that. This next one comes from Alex. This one is silly and really funny and just like maybe no one will use it. If you put an empty bowl of just an empty bottle out and you put

like a little sign saying just take one, then it will look like you've been pillaged already and you don't have to do anything. Oh, it's like trick-or-treating. so you can't afford to get like a release to give away but you don't want your house to be yeah exactly yeah maybe people still egg houses i'm sure they would surely someone cut us off on the and they honked at us really loud at like driving home the other day and my boyfriend was like on halloween we're gonna find him we're gonna egg him we're not we're not but he was like it's a perfect excuse yeah i mean i don't want to waste eggs but can we keep eggs in our

cars and just egg people who cut us off is an option yeah I reckon that's fine Halloween yeah that's so fine I think trick or treat haha it's a treat haha it's not even a treat it is such an annoying prank though isn't it yeah I remember our house way back when I was probably like eight or nine got egged I don't know if it was on um Halloween Halloween or not maybe it was but like our house full got egged and my mum was off it because it was summer oh yeah yeah she was not I feel like it would have been gross. And I was like, ew. That is nasty.

Did they cook? Like they just, they didn't cook. They just went hard. Like they like had kind of dried onto the walls and stuff. And we had like a brick house. And it would be annoying to clean. So it was kind of like in the brick. Yeah, you can't clean.

Yeah, I just remember mum being like. Fair enough. Yeah, I agree with her. I would be pretty, pretty mad about that. Less messy you in. Preferably. But also I don't understand the, like i understand the concept of trick-or-treating right really cute but like now i'm a mom i'm like

am i gonna tell harvey about strange danger yeah 24 7 like 364 days of the year i'm like strangers got to be careful of them one day of the year i'm like so what you're gonna do is go and knock on strangers doors while you're dressed up and take whatever candy they give you and be grateful for Yeah, true. Do parents normally go with little kids, I feel like? Mate, I don't know how this works, but my son will not be doing trick-or-treating by himself. That's bad.

I mean, I have to do. Jess. I have a job. Oh, a chance to dress up. I have a job for you. You live in a really nice estate. I'm going to drop my kid over to you on Halloween and be like, looks like a you problem.

I'll take him around. It's really good. Our estate's quite good because they do a map every year. What? If you're going to have candy, so people who don't want to participate don't get knocked on their door all night. So if you're going to have stuff for kids, you put your name and your address goes on a map and so then they have a map

of the estate of where to go and usually they'll say, oh, like if you want people to come. That's kind of cute. And that feels a lot safer. And like genuinely you living in an estate makes me feel a lot safer. It's very community-based where I am. I live on a main road. Like not feeling great about that.

It's not an option. You live in a perfect utopia. Yeah, she does. It's pretty good. She does. It's basically gated. What's your broke tip, Bec? Okay, my one is I went through and I compared all the prices

of like lollies and stuff like that. So just like a generic one, I'm going to use the Freddo, the 12-pack of Freddos, for example. So in Coles and Woolworths, $6. Reject Shop and Aldi, $5. NQR, roughly like $2. What? But NQR is iconic.

But also, who cares if it's running out soon? Cheap chocolates for – Again, you're going to eat it that night. Exactly. Exactly. NQR is so good. I'm assuming there'll be something at Cheaper by Miles, some sort of – There's heaps of them.

There would be some equivalents for other states, but just have a little look-see. I'm not sure if there's an NQR everywhere, but I'm sure you'll find something equivalent. But, yeah, so I recommend all your Halloween shopping, go to NQR. And even if they're, like, lollies that no one's ever heard of before, some weird stuff. Kids love drool.

Life stuff. Just, they're mine. Just chuck it in there. I feel like lollipops are really good too because they often come in packs of like 50 and they're quite cheap. And they're individually wrapped as well. So I feel like stuff like that is good. So true.

I haven't done anything. I feel bad. Your house is going to get egged. See, now I'm scared. But I feel like even going to Kmart and getting the party packs, you know how they come in like individually wrapped like, you know, candy bracelets and stuff. If I was a kid, that's what I want. Yeah, totally.

I want a candy watch. yes something fun yeah 100 and then all the halloween themed candy goes on sale the day after halloween like easter jess is on yes yes and you say that stock up what do you what do you got your eye on to purchase this season jess uh you know the trolley like they do the oh yeah they have like a halloween like mix pack and i like them because they're individually wrapped and they're good to just like keep in your purse for an afternoon gummy that's very jessica that's Very Jessica. I love it.

I feel like in the most non-offensive way ever, Jess belongs in Utah. Like in the nicest way possible, like super wholesome, always has good hair, like wants to drink a lot of Diet Coke, also wants to celebrate all of the like holidays with a theme and has like a mega mansion that she like dresses up. Yeah. Barbie dream house vibes. Oh, I wish I had a porch to decorate. It would be so fun.

A porch. See, she even talks about porches. She doesn't ask for much. no I'm just so happy you guys supported me this year and finally dressed up for the show I'm just wearing a tiara but we forgot if you were better organized Beck what would you have dressed up as I was meant to be Ellen DeGeneres I really like that I really like that I'm so sad we missed out on that I know I'm I'll try and do it sometime this week okay yeah I like it all right and Jess what were you gonna dress up as had we actually said yeah of course we're in we definitely were

prepared? I would have done the classic Britney Spears baby one more time because I feel like it's simple enough of an outfit that I wouldn't feel crazy walking into the building in it. Oh, I'm okay. The fluffy little, you know, tails. Yeah. Oh no. So I would have recycled my Barbie fairy topia costume. Oh, it does need another excuse to get out. Yeah. I would have recycled that. I think it's got a tutu, a little like sparkly top. I've got fairy wings. There's the tiara, like it's just a lot. Unfortunately, I got rid of the blonde wig. So would have had to buy another one. But you know, you get what you get. But I bought all of the jewelry for that too. Like the Barbie Fairy-topia necklace, the Barbie Fairy-topia like bracelet. I also had the

fairy-okey karaoke wings. That is so iconic. Yes, of course. If you'd like to borrow them, no worries. They actually, it's like a backpack that you put on and it's plastic fairy wings. Did you see them? You were at my birthday. Yeah, I'm picturing. Yeah, so like everyone had had a few beverages, except for me because I had found out the day before my 30th birthday that we had that I was pregnant.

So I was drinking fake champagne all night, duping you guys. And, yeah, it has like an attached wand, which is actually the microphone, and pre, like the backpack, the middle of the fairy wings, speaker. Oh, my God. Why did I know that? That's cool. What do you mean?

You did know that. I was dancing and singing all night. This is before morning sickness took hold. Right, of course. It was fantastic. Let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, we're going to talk about what to do when you find out that your colleague is doing the same job as you but getting paid way more.

And something that you slid into our DMs about, we're chatting about whether you should ask your partner to stop going to the bank as mum and dad. Don't go anywhere, guys. Spooky. It's all spooky. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's On The Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning

money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hi, she's on the money. Love, love, love your work. I have a question here and would really like your advice. Our company hired a temporary support staff from our head office from Europe. After a few months, she decided to want to stay in Australia. So the company sponsor her for a work visa to work in Australia. So she worked in a very similar role as what I do, like a project coordinator, project administrator sort of role. Do not really need special skills at all. Lately, I found out that she's actually getting pay more than double of

what I'm getting paid at the moment, and her workload is probably only 60% of what I'm doing. I feel really frustrated about this. I want to know, is this even legal in so many different levels? Should I confront my boss about the big pay gap difference, or should I be looking for another job thank you in advance oh my god when she said oh she's being paid more i was like oh i don't know you know i don't yeah we've all been there but also like i don't know the context like you know has she come from overseas with a lot more experience like and i'm not trying to justify it because that sucks but i'm assuming like like then she gave us the context and i was like sorry what double is insane double and she's doing less work i that is so criminal i think it is criminal

i don't know maybe it's not it is but it isn't like it depends on like their award rates it depends on like the legalities of the industry uh is it acceptable no and that's what we're going to talk about right yes so i want to know what would you guys do beck if you came to work and found out new person at work was being paid double what you're doing, less work. Okay, what would you do? This actually happened recently, but not with me, with someone. Someone that you know.

I'm going to name them Sharon. I'm going to name them Sharon. Yep. And then the other person was named Kim, for example. Okay, great. First of all, I just want to say I'm so glad that Pacey Griffiths is no longer a thing. Anyway, but to also just caveat that, you need to be really careful

because while it was abolished, if it is still in your employment contract, while not legal, your workplace might have some type of ramifications for talking about it if you signed a contract that has that in it. That predates the thing. Yeah, that predates when pay secrecy was not allowed to be included in your contracts. So now I want to talk about pay and I really want to be completely transparent about it. Like, you guys know me well enough by now but I also don't want you to get in trouble yeah so I want to make sure that you're protected so know that but also maybe next you know salary review or like job review be like you need to remove that yeah anyway sorry back to you because I didn't want

anyone to be like oh yeah we can just talk about it sure that's great sorry no no no but basically Kim and Sharon Sharon told Kim that Kim well actually Kim asked Sharon how much everyone was getting paid because they're doing the literally exact same role. Yeah. It's the exact same role, the exact same title. And Sharon told Kim, this is how much we get paid. Kim realized she's getting paid $12,000 less. Wow.

For absolutely no reason. Anyway, when the bosses found out that Kim knew, blah, blah, blah, they went to Sharon. They were like, you shouldn't be. They were trying to intimidate. You shouldn't be sharing that information. Disgusting, despicable. I hate it.

If your company does that, DM me. Yes, yes, yes. I'll ask them about it. I'll give your boss a call and be like, hey, so Bec, I just was wondering, were you doing this or not? Yeah. Luckily, Sharon stuck up for herself and she was like, basically, I just think that if you don't have it in your contract,

you are allowed to be talking about it, then you can shout it from the rooftops because there are people out there who have maybe been loyal to a company for so long. Absolutely not. In so many different situations and things like that, and they're getting paid less than everyone else they don't know about. Everyone needs to know pay secrecy, I don't like it. Pay secrecy only benefits the employer.

Exactly. It doesn't benefit anybody else. I completely agree. But to answer our listener's question, should you confront or look for a new job, I say both. You should definitely, you should definitely be confronting and definitely be looking for a new job. Next one, start a riot.

I like this. I don't like this. We're not having it. I completely agree. How would you go about that, though? I'd be like, oh, well, actually, maybe I'd find a job first, a secure job, and then when they're like, hey, oh, you're leaving, why are you leaving?

Like, because you guys are so sneaky and I'm going to make sure everyone knows. And I'm going to put this on Glassdoor. Yeah, I was going to say. I was just going to say put it on Glassdoor, put it somewhere. Jess, what would you do? The one thing I will say is that with the workload thing, I think sometimes you can look at a co-worker and it's easy to,

oh they seem like they do nothing but unless you're like everyone looks at me that way they're not wrong but everybody does look at me that way yes but unless you're like sitting like cyber do you know what I mean like I think that it's easy to go oh it seems like they're doing half my workload but you don't necessarily know so I don't know that's hard to quantify completely so I don't know that I would build that into my argument because I think that sometimes jobs that seem like they're not taxing actually have like an overwhelming amount of just like tedious things or whatever that you might not know that they're dealing with. So I wouldn't build that into an argument just because it might be easy

for them to refute that and say, oh, actually, they're doing X, Y, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, and you go, oh, crap, like there goes my whole argument. Now I don't have an argument to stand on. Completely. But if you're doing similar roles, the pay should absolutely be similar. Like there's really no good reason, as you said, outside of maybe historical experience or seniority,

but even then you kind of go, if we're doing the same thing, like how much does that really factor in? I think that I would it depends how much you like your job really like if you like your job if you like what you're doing you like your colleagues then it is worth I think having the conversation before looking elsewhere and saying hey like I've been made aware of this disparity can you please explain to me why that exists I think giving them an opportunity to say you know this person maybe is managing some of the team back in Europe remotely or this person has 10 years more experience than you or whatever the case may be. And if there's nothing, if there's no good reason,

which it feels like maybe there's a good chance that's the case, you're going to catch them out and they're going to be like, I, um, they, uh, and you're going to be like, gotcha. And then you can kind of, I think, launch into the negotiation and be like, this is really unreasonable. If you can't give me a reason as to why they're being paid more, I don't see any reason that you should not be matching my salary to this. See what they say. Hopefully they go, oh yes we're so sorry you're totally right we'll sort that out if they don't that's when I would personally start looking for another job especially if it's like for like like I get so frustrated I also feel like I don't like being super confrontational in these situations because

it doesn't help you like marching into your boss's office and being like what are you doing is not a great idea I would actually step back for a hot second and I'd be like okay how long have I been with this organization let's go back to basics let's look at my employment contract? Am I fulfilling everything in that contract? Fantastic. What am I doing above and beyond that? Because we all know if we've been with a company for a couple of years, we might be adding a few things here and there, or like we might've lost a few like responsibilities and had them replaced with something else. We want to understand whether the job title you have today is still reflective of the role that you perform, because it is a lot more persuasive to have an

argument that's not only should I get paid more, but also I have been thinking I need a role title upgrade and a salary upgrade. What are we talking about? I would then, from my perspective, schedule a meeting with your manager and say, hey, I'd really like to schedule a meeting to discuss my salary, give them enough notice and say, I would love to sit down with you at lunchtime on Friday or at 2 p.m. on Friday. Actually, definitely at 2 p.m. on Friday because we don't need to do salary negotiations in our lunch break. That is a work conversation. So we're going to have our Friday conversation. And then the day before or the morning of, you're going to send a really nice email to your manager. And that email is going to outline everything that you

want to talk to them about in a really clear, concise way. And you're going to deliver it in the nicest possible way. So you're going to say, hi, Bec, I just wanted to send you an email ahead of our meeting, because as you know, I would like to discuss my pay, but I want to make sure before this meeting to make sure it's as productive as possible, we're on the same page. I would like to let you know that I have done some research. So we're going to do external research as well. I've looked at the Hayes salary guide. I've looked at Glassdoor. I've looked at what seeks remuneration for similar roles are. And the role that I'm currently doing is sits at X. Obviously don't use that statistic if it's not going to work for you, but like I've done some reviews and

in a perfect world, that review will say that you're being underpaid. So you put that on the table and say, so I would really like to discuss my salary in light of this. I also would like to discuss the discrepancy between my role and another employee's role. And I want to have a discussion around pay parity in the organization. What does that look like? How can that be remediated? Because right now I don't feel very engaged. I don't feel like I'm being valued. And obviously we all want a really nice outcome. Look forward to the conversation because that gets all your information out before having to go. And like, we're just girls. At the end of the day, like sitting down and being like, I need to advocate for myself. Like, don't get me wrong.

If you can do that, that is absolutely fantastic. But you're also giving your boss some time because often in these situations where there's levels of management, it's not your manager who makes that decision. So like in my organization, great, Jess might come to me about salary. I do call the shots. That's the right decision. But like Jess sending an email because, you know, Beck might be her manager because Beck then has to go to me to advocate for that. I'm giving you all of the tools and resources you need to advocate for me on my behalf. Does that make sense? So like if your manager maybe goes, oh yeah, Jess wants a pay increase. What are we going to do? Like at least I have put all of the information on a page and Bec could forward that to my manager and be like

she's got a really good point like this isn't actually acceptable and outlining all of that and at the same time I would be looking for another role. I think these conversations are really constructive and help us grow but I also think that it sounds like they don't value you in the way that you deserve to be valued and just because you've quote uncovered this and it might be remediated doesn't mean that they are going to continue to value you I would find an organization that backs the hell out of you yes like but have this conversation make them pay you more and then the week after they've done that leave completely agree sweet sweet revenge we call that maybe they'll back pay it as well if you're lucky yes Kim was back paid in my story yeah absolutely

absolutely back pay is another thing to negotiate so I just think it's it's wildly unfair and I hate that these things happen and I'm really sorry. Like, I'm really sorry that you have to advocate for yourself when your management team should be looking at the overall remuneration structures. I know that over time things get a little bit off, but it's their job to ensure pay parity for like-for-like roles. Yeah. Yeah. Totally agree. Insane. And if you want to leave us a money dilemma, by the way, we've had a few people DMing us recently being like, hey, how do I do this? Go to our website, shesinthemoney.com.au and then there's a podcast page. Go to that and you can literally drop your voice note straight there. Yeah, you can record

on your phone. You can record on your desktop. It's a 10 out of 10 idea. You can also leave love notes there. So you can just leave us little voice memos, which some people do and we find really fun. Absolutely. Would you guys like to get to the DM that we got this week? Yes. Absolutely. I've been waiting for this one because I feel like we've got thoughts, you know. So this week, we received a DM. They said, hey, she's on the money. I have a money dilemma. I grew up very poor coming from government housing where money was scarce and I never asked for money as a kid or even now because I know money is a struggle. My partner grew up wealthy and got what he asked for whenever he wanted. Is it fair for me to ask him to stop asking his parents for financial help?

I feel he doesn't value money and doesn't understand how to work and save for the things he wants. He continuously goes straight for the bank of his parents when he wants something. It is never for needs. I can't tell if it is a red flag or if my jealousy is just showing up through him. I like that you're thinking about, you know, am I just envious about this situation? Yeah, self-aware queen. We love that. Yeah. It's not. It's not you being envious, I think, in this situation. Wanting people to value money, especially if you're in a relationship together and you're building a life together, I think is a very big shared value set yeah so like validating you there no it's not envy

yeah like I'm a little bit jealous if someone was just going to give me free money I get it but this is a bit deeper than that yeah I agree it really does sound like me and my best friend Liv we it's so weird because we did grow up completely differently she came from very wealthy family and they did work very hard for their wealth um and I grew up not so well off but we're both like exactly the same and so I think living with her we lived together for a years and there were definitely moments where I was like oh it's it kind of like hurts a little bit in my belly to see that she might be given opportunities that I might not have been challenging with such a close friend it is but it's also like I also tend to remind myself that like we

we are exactly the same but I am I'm very very grateful for my upbringing I'm very very grateful for everything that led me here and and if if even one tiny thing changed and I wouldn't be exactly who i am today and i quite like exactly i love that you know so much beck and so um and but it is still it's nice to have like a little bit i know that if something went wrong hopefully it's the same for our listener if something really really went wrong you do kind of have access to that hopefully i can imagine that if you're in that situation it's nice to know it's there but i do understand the feeling of being like wow like i've got to work for this and you can kind of just ask for it and you kind of get it that does suck but honestly if you're trying to

teach you know financial resilience and things like that i can i can understand why you maybe want to get your partner to not do that as much but i think it's okay is that like really bad like i think it's fine but it is a valuable thing to learn like the resilience and um independence financially and stuff like that so yeah i don't think that either of them is wrong yeah like i understand that it's very frustrating if you and your partner have different perspectives on money and handling that. And if you're in like, you're obviously both byproducts of the environments that you grew up in. And I can see how for someone who's had to work really hard for everything, seeing someone just be handed something would be frustrating.

And you, I can understand being like, well, you're not going to learn because you're just being bailed out every time. But that being said, like, I don't think, I think I've said this before. I don't necessarily think it's reasonable to expect your partner to change fundamental things about themselves and fundamental things about their upbringing. I think that it's absolutely worthy of a conversation and saying, hey, I feel like you're not respecting the goals as much as I am because you're not prioritizing them. You're spending on other things and then hoping that your family will bail them out. I think that that's a very valid conversation to have. But you also need to recognize that the case might just be that you have different value

sets and different experiences with money and that they may be too different for you to be able to operate together because ultimately like you're hopefully assuming you want to follow a traditional you know trajectory going to be with your partner for the rest of your life and it may be that that's not something that they can or want to change about themselves and on the flip side I feel like if their parents are in a wealthy enough position that they can help them out financially don't we all really want to build generational wealth so that we can look after our future generations that's where I was going to go with it like if I worked really hard and i i'm a multi-millionaire from my mouth to god's lips you know or god's ears

this is why her prayers haven't been answered she'd just been trying to kiss up on god you went to make out with him you went to he hasn't been listening to me you know what i mean you know what i mean but do it like if i found myself in the position where i was wealthy of course i would want to support my children and give them every opportunity and whatever. So I can't really fault your partner or their family for being in that position. I think what we really have to do is reflect on, is this going to be something that's going to bother you long term? Because you may not be able to reconcile the difference. Do you know what I mean? I think that you're both in the right. And honestly,

I grew up in a less prosperous household and I would be the same. I would be pissed off that if someone was not putting in the hard yards and I felt like I was like I fully get that but I also think that you can't necessarily expect that to change like I don't know that I think that that that's a reasonable level of expectation does that make sense I feel like I'm contradicting no I totally get it I think looking at it from the flip side we all want the best for our kids right like and if his parents I don't know I look at myself right like gift giving is a love language of mine like I love it I bring gifts for the team I bring gifts for my friends like you best believe like my baby if he needs something and I have the ability to get it for him

not only do I want to but it gives me a deep sense of validation to go I did that like I got that Like, I don't know. I just, I feel as though maybe his parents have like, look at it, right? Like, let's take your situation, Jess. You said, I didn't grow up in a prosperous environment. If you then had kids and you were super prosperous, you often find that the parents who grew up with not much, they want to give their kids absolutely everything. And they're probably getting a lot of validation from it. So he might've just grown up with this situation of being like, oh, I really want this? And mum and dad being like, girl or boy, whatever, you can have it. Like all he has to do is message his parents and he's got it. Like that's fantastic. But we also, I get the

envy side of it. Like if that exists, but I think it's also fair to go, we're not on the same page financially. And that's where we need to zoom out. If that's part of his money story, fine. Let's sweep that to the side for a minute. What are we working towards together? Are you saying that your partner right now just spends his money really frivolously and then just asks his parents for heaps of stuff and doesn't have a heap of savings, but you have a heap of savings and you're trying to save for a house and he says he's in, but he's not really in because he's spending all his money and seems to have the bank of mom and dad backing up his spending behavior. Is that what you're saying? Or are you saying he's saving, he's investing and, you know, we're working towards

this really secure financial future together. I'm compromising a lot. I'm not getting all these things that I want. He's saving all his money and just text his mom when he wants a new PlayStation. Right. Like, so he's not having to dip into savings and have that level of compromise that you've got. Yeah. Does that make sense? So like that would annoy me too. I'd be like, oh, this is so unfair. Like I'm compromising. And you know, at the end of the day, I'm not buying the makeup and the shoes and the clothes that I want because I'm trying to save for this house. And he's doing the same thing and saving, but then he's just asking his mom for the stuff. yeah like okay you need to have a conversation about this and this is about not only understanding

each other's money stories but your shared values and what you're working towards together and what that's going to look like so is it bad that he's using the bank of mum and dad I don't think so and the reason I don't think so is you never deeply know somebody else's money story and also who are you to judge like if you could do that too I'm sure you would I live in a world where I didn't grow up super rich my parents couldn't give me all of those things either I love everything that they did but we weren't super wealthy on the flip side I'm now starting to make more money than I ever have before and I'm trying to balance this like I don't want my kid to be spoiled, but I also want to make sure that he has all of the things that I think he needs and

deserves. And so I am thinking, what do I do? Do I invest for his future? When he gets to 18, would I want him having access to money? The answer actually between Steve and I is no, we want him to be older than that. But I know that the world is a really tough place to live right now. And I would like to be contributing towards a first home deposit for him in the future. And I want to do that for my other kids. And like, how do I establish that? So by the time, you know, my son gets to the age where he's buying property, I love that we could help. But I know that that's not what his, you know, lots of his friends might be experiencing or his partner might be experiencing. That doesn't mean that it's the wrong thing for us to do.

And as his parent, if my son then had a partner that said, you need to stop that, I'd be like, oh I worked really hard to be able to give him this I worked really hard and that was like my mission and my driving force and now you're telling me that I can't give my son the things that I want to give him does that make sense and like it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like just because I'm saying that it can still happen doesn't mean it's not frustrating like from the outside like you can be annoyed and Beck you can look at your friend and be like that's so annoying. But then I think, you know, if you sat down with your friend's parents and said like, oh, why do you just give her stuff? They'd probably be like, we're so proud to be able to do

that. Like, it's so cool. We worked so hard. Like they might tell you stories about how they grew up and, you know, maybe they lost some businesses along the way and then they did a new business and something finally worked. And like, everyone has this narrative and this story that you don't know about. So I don't think it's fair to judge it, but I also think it's fair to have a conversation and say to your partner I'm feeling really uncomfortable about this yeah and that's fair telling him to stop is a different conversation than going hey I'm noticing that you're doing this a lot can we talk about it like I feel real weird about it yeah like have you always done this yeah like what does this mean like how do you value money what are you going to do if your

parents maybe aren't around one day yeah because I can understand the fear that poor money habits now might mean in the future when there's not someone there to support you you could go oh god what's going to happen if what's your plan for the future like your parents are doing this for you how are you planning on setting up the same structure so that you can do that for your kids yeah like is that the plan like i don't know i think there's a lot of money stories conversation but shared values and beliefs conversations that need to happen before you go hey i don't like that you go to the bank of mom and dad sure sometimes all you need is just validation to someone to be like hey I know I do this and I know that you could never and you don't have access to that

but and I see that nothing's going to change but I see that and that's like that's enough sometimes to be like thanks I'm going to keep on keeping on yeah but like also a rising tide lifts all ships so like if I'm doing well hopefully the people around me are then learning and benefiting from the fact that I'm doing well and we can all rise together like I don't want to rise if nobody else is. Ew. And what did everybody else say? We obviously asked a few questions and we said, is it a red flag for you if your partner relies on their family for their wants? And 74% of you said, yep, feels like a dependency. And 26% of you said, nope, family help is fine if it's available. Fair. Fair. We also asked, would you ask your partner to stop relying on their

parents. 60% of you said definitely because it builds character. And 40% of you said, nope, their finances, their choices. Okay. I think once you start working towards shared goals, it's definitely more valid. Do you mean because their finances are impacting your finances? Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, 100%. And like, that's the conversation at hand. Like, how does this play into an us situation? Like, you're not asking his parents to buy you stuff, but you're just going, well, what does this mean long term? Sure. Like, how is this impacting our financial goals? We also said, come on, give us your two cents. We want to know, what are your thoughts on this? One person said, parents love language, maybe gift giving, which is quite funny.

That's what I said. It may be the one thing of the few things they feel they can do now their kids are adults. Someone else said, focus on your own mindset rather than your partner's. another person said my concern would be that he has not matured and is irresponsible with money not a grown man trait that I want I think that's good but also have we asked him yeah right like I get that you feel that might be irresponsible and I'm not even trying to defend him I'm just trying to see it from the flip side but you might see that as irresponsible and he might go oh we've only been together for like a year I haven't really told you but I invest and I save everything and mum and dad know that I work really hard in the background

and they're, like, real proud of that. So, like, if I want something, they don't want me spending my investment so they just buy it. Yeah. And you'd be like, oh, that's a different story. And I'm not saying it makes it right or wrong. That would also annoy me. I'd be like, I'm so frustrated.

Like, I wish I had that. But it's just there's lots of different things floating around. Yeah. Someone said, girl, that's called intergenerational wealth. Yeah. Someone else said, in this economy, take all the help you can get. Honestly fair. like if your partner was getting gifted stuff you'd be like yep slate no worries

yeah like if someone had the ability to do that for me like i'd be like that's amazing please someone else said i feel like you could just have an open conversation about it with them then it's true more conversations about money more often please yeah someone else said i'd feel the same as you but it also doesn't affect you so maybe your values just don't align it's a hard conversation, but it's one that you have to have. Then somebody else said, I would suggest having a chat with a therapist because you might have developed a scarcity relationship with money. Wow. It's very cerebral, but true. Yeah, it's true. It's true. I feel like that's probably a good place to leave it. I feel like always talking about it. I mean, you could even talk to like a

girlfriend about it or just having chats about money in general is really good. Like we all come out of it feeling fresher like you were saying before even just someone being like oh I'm doing this but like I acknowledge that like Beck you're not in that position right now yeah you go oh thanks like at least I feel like sometimes when we talk about money there's an underlying tone of like I think everyone should xyz like oh I'm buying my first home you're like oh I'm not in a position to buy my first home does the person I'm talking to think that I should be doing that because like I haven't saved for that like what do I do and I think that yeah sometimes just acknowledging that not everyone is in the same position can be really constructive yeah yeah i

completely agree you wouldn't believe it sometimes the answer is communication i didn't see that coming that's crazy that is a perfect place to leave it thank you for joining us for our not that spooky episode of friday's she's on the money we will endeavor to try harder next year um but yeah spooky season greetings i suppose that's it happy halloween bye guys bye guys the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy

financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289. Thank you.