She's On The Money - From Babyccinos to Bill Splitting!

Episode Date: September 14, 2023

It's pretty hard to top V's special news in today's episode, we are SO thrilled to hear that there will be a teeny new member of the SOTM family soon - CONGRATULATIONS Victoria and Steve!! And in Friday business as usual, we share your money wins and losses, dive into some Broke Tips and answer a tricky  Money Dilemma about buying property with your partner (and their parents)! Plus, the good old bill split awks...how do you deal with it? This week's D.M is an oldy but a goody. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kurni, Wolperi and Awadjuri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjuri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, is Friday, which means it is time to get our little team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, Ms. Jess Greachy is going to be sharing her favorite money wins from the community. Bec Syed is going to be sharing her best broke tips, which have been going very well, I might add. We get lots of good feedback, Bec. We're going to be answering a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about buying a house with your partner. That clicking

is Jess pulling out her Invisalign because she forgot to take it out before recording. And we're going to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMs about, which this week we're talking about splitting the bill at dinner. Let's ask Jessica how her Invisalign is this

week. Really good. It's really good. It's painful, but great. Oh, good. You know, I've had them for so long and I'm on like, I've only got a couple days left on this tray. So it didn't hurt. didn't hurt too much at all just switch right out just a little click click you're welcome for everyone with your phones in I have done Invisalign as well and it's funny because at the very beginning of your Invisalign journey I feel like everybody just like walks

out of the room goes to the bathroom takes oh yeah rinses them puts them back in the case pops them in their handbag yeah and then obviously Jess is a heap of mumps in because She's just whipping them out. They're sitting on the table. Sitting on the table. Like, then she's sitting here. She's not going to rinse them. She's going to chuck them straight in.

She doesn't care. I remember at the start, though, you were, like, so particular about putting. Do you even know where your case is? No. Actually, no. It's in my car, I think. Yeah, okay. On the floor in your car.

Yeah, rolling around. Right. When you get through the drive-thru. Because when I eat my Maccas, I put my Invisalign in so I don't throw them out by accident. That makes sense. Very responsible. How's the rest of your week been, Jess? Good.

I'm getting on a plane today. You are? I'm going to Japan. Very exciting. Oh my gosh. But I feel like nothing this week really can trump the exciting news. Like, forget my news. Oh, but we haven't even lost back on her weekies.

Oh, sorry. Fully cut you off there. How was your week? You go first. That's okay. Well, you're about to be eclipsed. No matter what I say, it's going to be quite as good. This can't even be that good.

Okay. But, okay, well, my week was actually really good. It was full of just so many – I had so many plans. Like it started from Friday last week, literally up until today, and it was just full of people that – friends that I've known for a long time that I feel comfortable with and myself with and new friends that I felt connected to. Oh, my gosh.

It was so lovely. It's been a really full week. All my buckets are full. I feel great. Oh, my gosh. But – And you got a haircut. Is it because you got English muffins?

No, thank you so much. That's so nice. It's very oily. That's probably why. Oh, yes. It's sleek. It's sleek. I think this is the big news.

Actually, Victoria bought us some really lovely English muffins. Oh, my God. The best English muffins. And that's all we have. I always give the most rogue presents. Like if I'm into something, I'm like, hey, Jess, I bought you this jam. And I love it. You're never going to get like a, oh, here's a really thoughtful present that costs lots and lots of money.

I bought you English muffins. But they're fancy. They are fancy. They do cost a lot of money, these ones. They are very, very good for those of you in Melbourne. They are the Drury Lane English Muffins, and I am obsessed with them. Like, they are honestly the best English muffins in the entire world. I also think it's a really good name for an English muffin company.

Drury Lane. Do you know the muffin man? Where does he live, Jess? Drury Lane. Is that not the best English muffin company name ever? It is. It is. I really like it.

I mean, I'm just dying to get to the elephant in the room. I don't know about you guys. It's not really an elephant, is it? I was trying to think of a fun segue, and I was going to, like, make it a size-related comment, but I feel like, I don't know. I know. Well, this is maybe about the same size as our news. My news is the size of an English muffin.

This is so strange announcing it on the podcast, but my husband Steve and I are having a baby. Yeah, it's really, really fun. We're very obviously grateful for it. It has been a journey getting here, but I feel like it is, yeah, very exciting to announce. also I guess in the same breath I want to say that news could have hit you in the chest like a ton of bricks if you're hearing it and going through I guess fertility challenges I know that when I was

in that position where I'd had a few losses and it was really hard getting pregnant and life was just at that point it felt really dark like I didn't I didn't like hearing other people's pregnancy news and I get it if you're not excited I totally get it your feelings are so valid and I think that that is you know part of the journey but I think it's totally we're gonna add another girly to the squat well we don't know we don't know but everybody's just assuming it's a girl we're nearly halfway at this point so i did leave it a little bit late i think it was like the worst kept secret in the history of ever uh because i have been so sick so everybody in our office absolutely well and truly knows there were a few questions yeah and like whenever i did speaking

events like i do have a bit of a bump so like there was a lot of like bombastic side eye people Being like, is she just bloated or is she pregnant? No, you can't ask that question. No, no, no. Did you do that ring on a string? No, I haven't done any of those things yet. Can we do it off it? Yeah, we can do it.

We can do it, absolutely. I'm all about it because we're not finding out the gender. It's going to be a surprise. But, yeah, I'm all about those wives' tales because I feel like I just play into it so much. Does it mean anything? No. My OB was like, no, Victoria, like that means nothing. I was like, yeah, but I'm carrying really high.

It's probably a girl. And she's like, that is not factually accurate. And I was like, cool, let me have it. So that's the fun news of the week, of the month, I suppose, of the last four and a half months, I suppose you could say it is. That's very exciting. Yes, I'm sure that Brooke, our video producer, is probably going to put together a really awful video of me

and all of the cuts in between episodes of me just gagging. So can't wait for that content. And me sympathy gagging. Yes. I'd gag and then you'd be like, ooh. And then I'd produce a gag and everyone's being a very sexy trip. But this episode is not about me. It is actually about our community. So Miss Jessica Ricci, what are your favorite money wins from our community this week? My first money win this week comes from Hannah who said, money win. I had an abundance of clothes I've tried selling on Marketplace and everywhere else imaginable until I came across a market in

my state that specializes in plus size clothing. So I thought, why not give it a go? My goal was not to bring one single item of clothing home my goal was almost achieved i came home with seven items when i left with about 200 i'm very proud of myself and i made a huge profit going towards my house deposit oh my god very fun and i know what we always get a lot of people asking about reselling specifically for the plus size market it's called double it's in adelaide and i love the idea that that exists and i so cool if anyone knows of ones in other states definitely let us in the Facebook group. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's weird. I love it. Next, I've got another shopping money win from Simone who said, I went to the op shop and I bought a $7 biochemistry book, which was more than what I wanted to pay, but then I saw it on Amazon for $500. What? Safe to say, happy with $7 now.

I've never been to an op shop in search of a biochemistry book. Bec, can you pick up some light reading? Just some light reading. Why not? A $500 book? Oh, for $7. Who should do $500 for a book? I don't know.

universities maybe jessica god i didn't go i wouldn't know honestly i swear my book list every semester would cost about a thousand dollars one out of ten and then they make you buy the new volume every year yeah oh that one's outdated my maths it's not gonna change no no i don't like it i don't like it i don't care if i have to flip a few more pages i'm using the old edition so i've always been like that yeah absolutely Good for you. Sneaky money win. Like that a lot.

Next, I've got one from Lily who said money win. I finally reviewed and updated my extras only health insurance and I've saved myself 40% a month. Oh my gosh, that's a big money win. Nice. Huge. Love. Next, I've got one from Stephanie who said she scored free leggings at the LSKD opening. Oh my gosh, yes.

How exciting. Very fun. And then she got some thermals on super clearance at Target for her Europe trip as well. Money win. Next, I've got a money win from Maren who said, I've wanted Nike high tops for work shoes for about 12 months. I tried them on and loved them, thought about it, and then remembered I had more than enough in shop back rewards.

Oh, yes. How good is that feeling? I'm purchasing them once the money is transferred instead of buying them tonight. Oh, that is so good. What a genius. Very clever. That's literally a money win. Yeah.

That's money that you wouldn't have had otherwise. It's free. It's free. It's literally free money. It's literally free. It's free. Incredible. Free Nike high tops.

I was about to say air tops. I don't know what I'm talking about. You can tell. Yeah, she gets it. I'm a cool kid. She's so cool. And lastly, I've got a money win from Tara, who just said a little FYI. If you order a water from Macca's, you still get the Monopoly ticket.

Oh, that's clever. What a queen. Very clever. McDonald's, if you're listening, know you're not. Can I have 200 free waters, please? I'm very thirsty. How good is that? Is Monopoly back on at Macca's?

It is. You know I love Monopoly. I love it. Miss Jessica Ritchie is the queen of Macca's Monopoly. So fun. I tried to win the barbecue last year. It didn't go well. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

We're back on it. We're back on it. What are we manifesting this year? Have you looked at the prize list? You know what? I haven't. I've just been collecting tickets. Next week on the show, we're going to be updating you on something very exciting, and it will

be Jessica's McDonald's Monopoly wish list. Yes, yes, yes. We're manifesting for everyone. Yeah, I love this. Your win is everyone's win. I think so, too. It was like the time she got the free KitchenAid mixer from all of her flybys points. Everybody went nuts over that.

So can you imagine if she won stuff from Monopoly? I know. You've got to be in it to win it. You've got to be in it to win it. Speaking of being in it to win it, Miss Beck, what have you got when it comes to broke tips this week? Okay, so I've got a couple of good ones. Very Woolworths related, I'm noticing. But sponsored, like have they slid into your DMs?

Not yet, actually. I don't know. I find kind of weird. Let them know they can. Yeah, they absolutely can. Free fruit for kids and for Beck. Exactly. I'm still a kid at heart.

Okay, so the first one is from Caitlin, who said, I'm currently listening to an episode of your podcast, and you guys had a lady that had written in about Woolworths half-price specials, but let's go one better. I, too, work at Woolies and know that a lot of the Woolworths brands are actually still cheaper than the half-price specials. You have to go by unit price to realize this, which is very clever. An inky, stinky lady.

Yes, I can't believe I forgot to mention this. She's out her name, so Woolies don't go for her. I know, actually, yeah. There's probably a lot of Caitlyn's, so good luck. Yeah, exactly. Is it with a K or with a C? Yeah, what if we made up that and that was a fake name? Exactly, you don't know.

What if we were ahead of the game, which we were not? No, but also, you know, even when you're going to, like, buy toilet paper or something, like something looks cheaper or it's on special, it looks, like, fancy, but if you go down and see how many cents per roll, you end up... That's important. It's very important.

You don't realise it at the time because you're like, oh this one's on special but it's still more expensive so always look at the unit price you will get more bang for your buck that way and it's always on the tag you don't have to do the math like they literally have to show it on the little price tag exactly exactly so do that because sometimes can be very deceptive i like it special not gonna lie when i'm looking at toilet paper i'm looking at how many ply it is not how much it is per roll because have you ever picked up one ply toilet paper by accident sandpaper regret I guess it's controversial I prefer one ply but you would use more of it that's true but something about three ply I feel like

you can't justify it I can't no it's just it's too soft it just like no that's what we need it's too slippery um you know your broke tip from a couple of weeks ago that someone sent in saying squeeze the roll so I don't squeeze the roll because I don't like the of it. But it made me think about the fact that I've never consciously considered how I pull it. And it's true. Like you just pull it and when it stops howling, you stop. And I've started paying attention and I could use like 25% of what I normally use. Good for you. Look at Jessica and her bathroom savings. And in the long run, you do end up saving more money. Yeah. So good for you. Don't pull and just let it go. Like pay attention. Pay attention. Be mindful. Put down

your phone. I know it's impossible. Are you a scruncher or a folder though? Like what's the most economical use of paper? I fold. Yeah, of course you fold. But it's got a slight scrunch to it. Yeah, you've got a slight scrunch to the fold. I like it. All right, Bec, let's move on before this goes somewhere else. What have you got for us? Okay, so the next broke tip is from Eleanor who says, I have been using Woolworths Rewards for a while now and I have noticed they now do boosted points when you purchase particular items so if you go on their website you can see that maybe for one week they're doing like a thousand points per banana but this is relevant because either you'll get like yeah that's definitely that's definitely a bad example

i love it i wish but also maybe they are going you know what will you sound like they're doing a good good thing here they're doing a good thing i was gonna be like after we should reach out to Willis, because like I can see us working together. Not now that you're like going, oh, they'll give you a thousand points per banana. They're going to give you a thousand points. They're going to go, no, you guys are unreleasing expectations. Yeah, I'm so sorry to everyone listening. They're probably not going to do that.

But you never know. That was a really bad example. But basically, the more points you get, you eventually get $10 off per shop. And if you just, if you go to Woolworths and you actually need these items, just check if they're boosted that week. They do it in flybys as well. In flybys. She did mention flybys actually.

What did she say here? Once you get 2,000 points, you can get $10 free off your next shop or you can transfer to Qantas Points. Sorry, I thought I said Flybuys. I didn't. Qantas Points. So that's kind of irrelevant for me. I'm not much of a flyer.

But if you are, that's kind of cool. Save some cash on your holiday. Exactly. Exactly. I love that. Yeah, we're definitely a Flybuys household in this office. Oh, it's getting tense. It's not.

No, it's not. We fly virgin and we like flybys, I feel like. It all plugs in. It all plugs in. I feel like you have to have an ecosystem. Oh, it's definitely a points ecosystem. Yeah. You pick a side and you stay in your lane.

A hundred percent. Speaking of virgin though, speaking of virgin, Jess and I earlier this week flew to Sydney for the Sharesies' second birthday party and we got upgraded to business. It was so fancy. That's a money win. That is a money win. That is very cool. That is a huge money win.

I want all the goss when we're, I mean, we can do it now if you want to. So we're going to get lunch on the plane and everything. That is so good because I hadn't eaten lunch that day. That is very, very cool. In full transparency, this is a pre-recorded episode. And I'm finding out right now. Jess is finding out right now. I'm flying business.

Jess is flying business in approximately 1.5 hours and she just found out. Oh, is that? That's why she was like, Anna was so fancy. I was like, you don't have to pretend. You don't have to. Really, you really got me. We've got a really busy week this week, so we are recording Friday drinks on a Tuesday.

Sorry, everyone, we've deceived you. But we are still drunk. Jess, because we're not the rest of the table, maybe you, but thank you for coming prepared. But that's why Jess was so excited, and to be honest, I'm really impressed because usually she can't lie to save her life, which is why I wanted to bring it up. And I think that's why, if you scroll back.

If anyone saw that clip, I feel like on my face you can probably tell. Yeah, that's why I'm so confused because you're like, the voice says one thing and the face is telling me something else. The voice said, heck yeah, I'm so excited. And the voice said. I hadn't eaten lunch that day. Such a bad liar. All right, all right, let's move on.

Jess's broke tip is fly with Victoria and she will bid for an upgrade for you. That is a good broke tip. Actually, my personal broke tip for this week. Yeah, I want to know that. Is relevant to this. It's not so much broke broke, and I do apologise for those listening that might not be able to relate to this, but let's say you are travelling

and you only have a set amount of budget. Yeah. My best friend's sister was telling me about how she had X amount to spend, but every resort or accommodation, they were a little bit more pricey. Yeah. She wanted to stay somewhere nice. So she called up a couple of places and emailed a couple of places and said, this is my budget. What are you going to do for me?

And I think at least two places came back and said, we can do that. That's cool. Isn't that so cool? That I would never have thought to do that. Oh, no. I'd be like, no worries if not. I'd be too scared to like ever even ask. And what do you lose?

Like if you have a, if you can't play it. That's a queen move. I know. Like what are they going to do? Say no? What's, who cares? Exactly. Who cares?

Yeah. But they might say yes. Because they would have so many, if they have heaps of empty rooms. they're probably like, well, some money is better than no money. Yes, 100%. I think this was like a little bit, it wasn't super last minute, but it was a little bit more last minute. So that's the best time to like reach out and be like.

That's quite cool. May as well have someone in there for a little bit of money. Great tip. I feel like that is a brilliant tip. It actually leans into my favorite quote of the week, which has been really helping me actually. And the quote is, it's not that deep. Oh, yeah, I like that.

Email them. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. We make things such a big deal. Yeah, exactly. That's not a big deal. Like email them. Go get it, queen.

I love that. Here I am being like, oh, my money-saving tip is don't pay for buffet breakfast, BYO breakfast. So poor Jessica, whenever we stay anywhere, I'm like, I'm not paying for that. We are going to be buying cereal and eating it in our room. Fair enough. But if buffet breakfast is included, you best believe there's a Tupperware container in my bag so I can steal pastries for morning tea and lunch. That's clever.

It's just who I am as a person. Follow us for more travel-saving tips. All right, let's go to a really quick break. And on the flip side, we're going to be talking about buying a house with your partner and how to have a conversation about splitting the bill at dinner. Don't go anywhere, guys. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to The Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.

To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hey team, so my partner and I are looking to buy our first home together. My partner's already on a mortgage with his family and he doesn't make any repayments, but it does mean the banks still see him as liable,

so it's impacted our borrowing power and first home buyer benefits. His parents have generously offered us $100,000 to contribute towards our deposit. And at first I felt guilty about taking money from them, but as their decisions have impacted our borrowing power, I kind of feel like it balances out. But there's also been talk of a financial agreement about who owns how much of our house. And I feel quite uncomfortable about the whole thing because it's very generous of them, but I also feel like it's now my partner and his family buying a house and I'm just tacked onto the ride. It's making me feel like I don't want to buy anymore.

I'll be talking about it with my partner, of course, but I wondered if the community had any thoughts? Thanks. This did not go the way I thought it would. No, it kind of took a turn at the end there, didn't it? Yeah, but I can see where she's coming from. Of course. I totally understand that feeling. Let's start this side of the table, Bec. Good idea. Better to start with the expert, actually. Yeah, just go hard or go home. If that's okay with you guys. So when it comes to buying power, this is what I suggest. Just take care of yourself and everyone around you and that's it for me i think i think beck's tip might be if this is not too rude understand what buying power is uh that's a very very good piece we can talk about it after sure we can talk

about it after but i think it's interesting because that is a very generous gift and it obviously gets you ahead but at the same time i feel like i don't know if saying this is mean but I feel like you're taking it the wrong way. Like it totally gets you ahead. I totally understand there being a financial agreement. In fact, if you forget the fact that your partner already has a mortgage with his family and the fact that it's being gifted, like for a hot second, pretend that your partner has the $100,000 deposit. If I was going in and buying a house with Jess and she had a hundred grand and I didn't, I would actually expect there to be a financial agreement that says, hey, if we go and sell this house or Jess and I break up for some reason,

Jess gets her hundred grand back because that doesn't instantly become my money. So maybe a little bit of a mindset shift around that and going, well, actually that makes sense because if Jess brings a hundred grand to the table and I get to invest and, you know, acquire an asset that can appreciate in value, I'm still in a good position here. You know, you're not tacked along for the ride. Like Jess wouldn't be giving me the hundred grand to, you know, do that if she didn't expect this relationship to last. So I would assume that the same thing is happening with his family like there's no way let's be honest there's no way I would give my kid a hundred grand by house with a doofus that I don't like yeah honestly I would have been like

I'd just be like absolutely not like that's going nowhere like they probably see a lot in the relationship what do you reckon Jess I mean if the shoe was on the other foot and I think I've spoken about this before like if I buy a house and my partner lives with me like I would be putting in an agreement I've already sat Jess down there and been like all right what are we doing about this binding financial agreement yeah like i i just think if if the roles were reversed in the partner message and say hey my parents want to give us this money but i'm not sure like should i put an agreement in place like my advice would be absolutely like i i completely understand why they want to do that and i can see how from our listeners perspective she goes oh well i feel

like maybe i'm just you know tacked on or i feel valid yeah i understand those feelings but you have to think about i guess from their end is that they're trying to make sure that everyone's best interests are protected and that everyone's contributions are recognized equitably. So I think that you could, like, you're absolutely still a part of this journey. You're going to be on the title. You're going to, I assume, be contributing to the mortgage repayments and creating the home and doing all of those fun things. But from my perspective, I guess that agreement is about making sure that everyone is looked after. Should something go wrong, touch wood that of course it wouldn't, but should anything go wrong, you've got a really clear

delineation between what everybody's contributed and I guess if you are feeling like you're not as involved maybe talking to your partner about the fact that you're feeling a little bit left out and making sure that you're super involved in the process of touring the houses or you know you and your partner are sitting down and putting your wish list together and that's something that's for you and your partner to do together the parents are really just trying to kind of help you along the way I don't think they're trying to jump into bed between you you know I mean might be nice if that's what you're into beck that's what you're into no judgment if there's consent but i think the conversation for me actually like if she's not feeling a part of it i think it might

be a bit of a bigger problem right you said are you touring the houses are his parents now just getting involved and sending him the properties and being like we think you should buy this one and it's like not your narrative anymore like do you feel cut out because of that like is it just the financial side of things because if it is just the financial side of things and they've gone hey son here's a hundred grand we want to do x y and z for you and he goes great Jessica let's buy our first home together like I think that needs some working through and I do think it's so valid regardless of where it's coming from someone asking for a financial agreement when you know there's big sums of money being thrown around like that is very fair but I can see if that on top of

Rudy feeling out of the loop on top of you know maybe not being in the family group chat of the properties that are being sent back and forth you know I can imagine that being quite hard you know imagine if I was buying a house with Steve and his parents were texting him links to go and see on the weekend. And then he comes home and says, oh, I'm going to go to this inspection with my dad. I'd be like, of what? Like, yeah, I don't feel involved in this. And this is my purchase too, because even though they're coughing up the cash, the responsibility is sitting on your shoulders to pay that mortgage. This is your acquisition, not just his. So I would, yeah, obviously you said have a chat with your partner, but I think have her sit down and think about

where you're at first and like why do you feel this way what is triggering you to feel like this because importantly we need to work through this before you actually get into bed you could say in a financial way because that could just harm the relationship yeah we don't want that especially if you're in a happy place where you're talking about buying property together exactly we're talking about couples this week aren't we we are talking a lot about couples this week jess in fact one of our DMs this week that we took to the community was about splitting the bill at dinner. Do you want to hear what it had to say? All right. So this week, the DM we received sounded a lot like this because I'm reading it verbatim. Hey, she's on the money squad. Would love some advice.

Every time I go out for dinner or drinks with my friends, the group always tends to split the bill evenly at the end of the night, which I am not a big fan of. I'm trying super hard to save at the moment, so I'll often order a cheaper meal on the menu. I'm also not a big drinker, so I always order less drinks than my friends. I'm finding that I'm always spending more when we split the bill evenly versus if I just paid for what I had. I don't want my friends to think that I'm being stingy and I am a super anti-confrontational kind of person, so I always just go along with it. Do you have any advice on how I could prevent this from happening? Again, thank you so much. I feel like it's a super common problem. I feel like we were having this conversation

in the other day. When were we having this conversation? Yeah, it wasn't too long ago. Why does it feel so familiar? All the time. Our producer says all the time. We just talk about snacks and drinks and splitting bills all the time. Favorite things. Must do. Yeah. Bec, I know you're not a big drinker. How do you approach this? If you're going out for dinner and drinks with friends and you're like, well, I don't drink wine. Cool. Luckily with my close friend group, it's always, it's just, I don't have to even mention it. Like we all know I don't drink, so I'm not going to be, we all just kind of like pay what we order.

Someone pays everything, they get the receipt, and we just pay what we order, blah, blah, blah. But for people I'm not super, super comfortable with, I always try and make it as, like, less conflict-y as possible. I know that doesn't really make sense, but at least. No, it does. No, no, no, that's what we want to hear. Like, she just said she's a non-confrontational person.

Yes, exactly. So this is the advice we need. Exactly. So what I do is I try and make it as jokey as possible. So as soon as we sit down, I'll be like, I don't want to be that guy. Yes. I'll always like self-deprecation goes a long way when you're trying to be jokey so I'll be like I don't want to be that guy but I'm really broke so what I'm going to do is not order that much

and then I'll just pay whatever if that's okay with everyone and literally all the time people like yeah of course yeah if you imagine exactly it's way more best possible outcome oh my gosh are you I'll pay that's what we want to hear I mean, wouldn't hate it. Wouldn't hate it. Wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't hate it. Wouldn't turn that down.

No, but it's always way more awkward at the end of your meal or your whatever you're having, cocktails or whatever you're doing. Yeah. Especially if they've expected that it will be split and they've gone, you know, ordered another thing because I think people do that. I feel like they're like, oh, it's fine, we're splitting it, I will have another cocktail.

Yeah. Rude. Exactly. Not on my watch. No, no, no, no. So I would say get that conversation out of the way as early as possible. Even while you're making plans, if you want to, be like, hey, yeah, let's go here. Just so you guys know, I'm kind of broke, so I'm not going to order that much.

Let's just sort out the bill later, blah, blah, blah. But get that conversation out of the way as early as possible. I feel like you're good at having those conversations, though. Thank you. Thank you so much. As jokey, as self-deprecating as possible, so that it's not, like, you know, conflict-y or awkward. Not that you should have to do that.

Not that you should have to. Like, you should have to minimise yourself. Absolutely not. But just if you're feeling, like, awkward. We don't work in our social circle whenever Bec self-deprecates. I'm like, can you not? That's true. You guys always mess me up.

I'm always like, are you done? Because that's not okay. And then you go, oh, damn. Like, it's not going to work at this table. But, like, I think, and I've said this before on the podcast, like, we could be really clear and go, yep, cool. Well, Jessica, you should walk in and just tell your friends that they need to respect you.

No one's going to do that. Like, I'm not a confrontational person. like I don't want to walk in and be aggressive about something even though you're right like I do deserve that and there are some people that that works really well for but I think it's these softer ways of approaching things even if it means you know being a little bit self-deprecating if you're like that's the thing that makes me feel confident enough to ask for what I need like I think that we should give that a little bit of credit too sometimes even though I'm like you shouldn't do that for sure totally if it makes you like if it makes you comfy like sometimes we just

do things that make ourselves a little bit more comfy. Jess, what would you do? How do you do it at dinner? I mean, I think we don't even have to do it because I hang out with effectively two groups of friends. It's you guys and my other group of friends. We've just kind of like got our team and been like, we're our friends now. Now kiss. But I think the interesting thing is, is once you establish a precedent, once you have that conversation once, I don't think you ever have to have it again because when I reflect on how we do it in our friend group if we go out to dinner a lot of the time we will kind of split it evenly unless there is someone like we have one friend who's currently doing the FODMAP thing and so he's having real specific food he's not

drinking alcohol like it's very very particular and so when we all went out to dinner not like that long ago we said okay cool so like the six of us we're all going to share plates everyone's going to you know bitsy piecey we all good to split it yeah cool you Sean you can play your and we just took it off the top. And once we've done that once, that's just how it always is. Like set the precedent. Yeah, or if someone's pregnant and they're not drinking because a few of my friends have had babies.

Who would do that? Exactly right. Then you kind of, I think you just automatically consider that because you've done it before. So I think once you've had that conversation that Bec was saying once or twice and you've made that point, it kind of theoretically just becomes a second nature. Like you just have to establish the parameters like,

hey, do we all pay for ourselves always? or hey do one or two people consume less and therefore should we just make sure that we're always knocking theirs off the top first and then splitting so it's I think once you get over that hump it probably also gets a lot easier yeah I think for this particular question they're saying every time I go out we just split it evenly like how do we change that you've got to say something to change something yeah exactly you've just got to put your head out and you know what I reckon that you're not the only person thinking that I was gonna say you can't be the only one at the table if that's the case in which case I'd just get on the front foot not like front foot like

you Beck where you're saying it up front I would be like oh let's get the bill and I can work out what everybody owes and like kind of take control of the conversation and be like oh my gosh it would be so unfair because Jess only had one cocktail and kind of just try and put it in a position where you're the one asking for the bill like oh hey let's grab the bill so we can all work out what we owe and then if somebody says oh we'll just split it evenly go oh that's not the fairest way though because like what are they going to do argue with you when you say that's not the fairest way whereas it's from my perspective a lot harder once they're like oh we'll just split it evenly and everyone's like nodding and you're like I don't want to be like yeah don't want to

be that guy I want to be that guy yeah don't want to be that guy but I think if you put yourself in the like control seat of like oh let's work out what we all are I'll get my calculator app out like you can be the instigator in a way of that and then you know what other people are going to go oh great I don't have to do the maths of it because there are going to be people sitting at that table who are in the financially comfortable position where they're like doesn't worry me if we split it evenly doesn't worry me if we do it you know individually I can't be bothered working it out someone just tell me what I owe yeah and like I have been guilty of that like I have definitely been guilty where you know I'll be like that's fine like I'll pay whatever you want

like after two wines like I'm not that interested in wepping out my calculator app and working it out. So I'll just be like, yep, you guys tell me what we're doing and that's fine. And that's not the best way to be, but you know, let's all own up to our failures, but that's okay. Did anyone else have suggestions on how you can handle it? So many suggestions. Before we get to suggestions, though, we did ask a few questions. We said, how does your friend group split the bill on a night out? 29% of you said you split it evenly. And 71% of you said you just pay for what you ordered individually. So that's good. But we're all savvy finance queens. So I don't reckon that's the norm. I reckon that's just the She's On The Money community because I've got tickets on them

being good. Agreed. We said, if you split it evenly, are you happy to do this? 39% of you said, yep, it's actually just the easiest way. 61% of you said, not really, but I just go along with it. Yeah, I feel that. Relatable. Relatable.

We said, do you think you would spend less money if you paid for only what you ordered? 67% of you said, yep. Oh, no. Isn't that bad? That is bad. So there's always someone just chugging drinks is what I'm thinking. There's always one. There's always one.

It would be so boring going out for dinner nowadays with us. You don't drink. I can't drink. Jess is a one and done kind of girly. Yeah, that'd be fun, I reckon. It'd be cheap because we get silly. Yeah. Like we get, you've heard us on the podcast, none of us really drink

and that's how silly we are. Yes, exactly. Like that's how, do you know what, actually, complete side note, I was pregnant at my Barbie themed birthday and the amount of people that are, you know, after my birthday, I was announcing that I was pregnant, you know, told my friends, they're like, but you were drinking at your birthday. I was like, no, babe, I was high on life. Like I did not have one drink.

I, in fact, had mocktails all night. I was just vibing. And they're like, oh, okay. I'm like, ADHD. The bar staff were in on it? The bar staff were in on it. It was the whole cast. Oh, wow.

It was. had some fake champagne going so i could hold it in photos so nobody knew true i just wasn't ready to share it okay yeah that's okay all right so back to the question this is what the community had to say lots of responses on this one so someone said try and choose places where you pay when you order or are still using a qr code system qr code is a savior because how good is it it gets rid of the awkward thing like everyone just whip out your phone right we're all going to Fonda. Literally. Done. I reckon I could cut a deal with Jess where if I said every time we go out for dinner or lunch in the future, it'll always be at Fonda. Should agree to it. Absolutely. Not

because of QR code. She just really likes a chicken burrito. Someone else said it's really related to age and life stage. As we've gotten older and have higher disposable income, the less issue we have with splitting. Yeah. Like you were saying before. I'm actually finding that to be very true. It's interesting now that I'm in my 30s, guys. And, you know, it's no longer us just going out for like uni lunches or, you know, dinner with friends at reasonable places. Like I have expensive taste and sometimes I really want to go out for like, you know, my husband's birthday and to spend a really nice amount on dinner. We do definitely budget in. Like he does not get any Uber Eats that week. But I find the more expensive the restaurant, the more likely I

am to with another couple just split it down the middle because you end up like ordering a bottle of wine together and the meals are all kind of comparable and it just becomes a bit of a issue I would say to kind of go all right well did you have this and I had that and like yeah I think the more expensive the restaurant the less likely you are to split it item by item sure because if you're concerned about saving you're probably not going to Matilda on to main road yeah yeah yeah no it's True, but it's interesting because that's when you probably should be a little bit more cautious because of lifestyle creep and things getting away from you and, yeah, just reflecting that's interesting.

Someone said, I have in the past just handed over cash towards the bill and said, hey, this amount covers my meal. I feel like that's a smart way to do it. It's pretty good. I feel like it's a good way, but it might make you seem a bit like, I don't know. Well, what if you don't have the right cash? you might have to like go and research the meals beforehand. Like if everybody else was expecting

to split it and then it doesn't, I don't know. I feel like that's a good one because it's definitely putting it in control. But I think, yeah, that might be a little bit harder because I'd hate for them to turn around and be like, oh, Bec, like we're splitting it evenly. It's an extra 10 bucks. And you go, well, I don't have it. Yeah. Yeah. True. I just don't want an awkward situation to arise. Next, someone said, just check with the waiter if you can pay separately before they order, it often helps to manage expectations. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. That's very good. That's very good. Someone else said, sometimes I say at the start of the meal, I'm going to splurge and order X, Y, Z tonight. So let's check with the waiter and

see if they can split the bill. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. I like that. It's like your idea. That's positive reframing. Yeah. Positive. Learn Beck. Okay. Beck is going to be more positive this year. I can feel it in me bones. Yeah, I can feel it too. Someone said, it's especially unfair for those who don't drink. It reminds me of that Friends episode. If you know, you know. I never watched Friends. I definitely know what she's talking about. That's a Seinfeld girly. Okay. No one said that. Someone said, you know what? You should be able to talk to your friends in an open conversation about money. Yeah. True. Ideally. Ideally. If they're your friends, they're your friends.

That's true. Exactly. Someone said, it really depends if you shared meals or not. Ah, yes. If you're at one of those tapas-y kind of restaurants where you, like, do what Jess was saying before, where you have little bits of everything. Yeah, you just share. I hate those.

Do you? Yeah, I do. They're my favorite. I know. Everyone loves them. But I just, like, if I like the taste of something, I want a whole plate of it. Are you fussy?

Are you fussy, Ida? You're not really. You're not a chicken nugget kid, are you? I just don't like the idea that, like, if there's a shrimp or a, I don't know why I call it a shrimp, a prawn that I, like, in, like, a plate of maybe you get five prawns, for example, you're eating with five people. If you like the taste of it so much, that's it. Yeah. You're done after the one. I don't like it.

I don't like it. Okay, so this is where Jess and I really like dining at Chin Chin. What do we do with the entrees that we like the most, Jess? We just order, like, double of them. Okay, that's not a bad idea, actually. It was so nice. We bought it twice. Like there's one entree at Chin Chin where I'm like,

we can share everything, Jessica, but you will be getting your own one of these. Do not touch mine. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's exactly right. Don't touch it. It's not happening. No. Not good at sharing though, so.

Yes, exactly. Not good at sharing. That's why it's not good to. A lot of the other, I won't go too far into them because honestly, there were hundreds of responses, but lots of the conversation was really about, please communicate with your friends about setting expectations. In fact, something might come up where they suggest you don't even go out at all and you all save money by having a few more dinner parties at home, which I think is brilliant and quite smart. And to be

honest, very she's on the money. I feel like at this point in this economy, Jessica Ricci, in this economy, we can't actually afford to be always dining out and just having open, honest conversations. They're going to make everybody at the table feel so much more confident, so much more comfortable. Like, oh, I went to one of my girlfriends the other day. She's recently had a baby and I made sandwiches before I went. Like, here's dinner. I've been sandwiches. Yep. Why not? 10 out of 10. Love that. Had some lemonade on her balcony. So fun. But like, I think we need to remember why you're catching up with these people in the first place. And I promise it's not because you are worried about splitting a prawn,

Yeah, Beck. I'm worried. You know what? Next time we're out for dinner, let Beck have the extra prawn. You can have all the prawns. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. All of them.

They are all yours. All right. Well, I think that is unfortunately all we have time for this week. As always, we wish you the best weekend and we cannot wait to see you on Monday for a Money Diary bright and early. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye.

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