She's On The Money - Get in the bin, 2020

Episode Date: December 29, 2020

The garbage fire is almost gone and what better way to say seeya later 2020 than with a look back at what we’ve learned from the tumultuous year that was. Today V+G get reflective and talk through the takeaways of 2020 from both a financial and human perspective - there’s a lot that’s happened and there’s a lot we’ve learned as it turns out. Plus, V reads a moving poem and George sings some vintage Miley Cyrus to ruin the episode for everyone.Finally, a big thanks to YOU for being a part of the show this year and for letting us do the job we love – without your welcoming ears our show would be nothing, and for that we thank you endlessly. Love the podcast sick and want more SOTM? We had a feeling that was the case. Join our Facebook page to share your money wins and money confessions, follow us on Insta for daily inspo to keep you on track and absolutely subscribe to our newsletter, the written recap of the pod’s key takeaways, including some bonus bits you won’t want to miss.Finally, if you’re in a money mess and need help untangling the muddle - we’ve got you sorted – simply record your question and send it through to us at [e-mail] and you may just end up on the podcast!Your hosts are Georgia King and Victoria Devine.The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN 34 132 463 257 - AFSL 339151.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Georgia King. I'm a copywriter and journalism student. And each week I sit down to chat all things finance with Melbourne based money wizard and new doggo mum, Victoria Devine.

Victoria, hello. Doggo mum. I love that introduction. Pretty good, isn't it? Also, you're not going to be able to say journalism student for all that much longer, are you, Doggy King? Well, one more semester. All right.

So, I mean, it'll be next year still. All right, let's milk it for all it's worth. Carry on. Now, 2020 has been a year. It's been garbage fiery in more ways than one and most of us are very ready to say see you later to the year that was. but what have we learned and what financial lessons do we want to take with us into 2021

and beyond plus we'll be hearing a listener question about the association between guilt and spending and we hear from a money diarist whose partner had a secret gambling habit so a lot to get to today victoria as always but before we get there money wins or confessions from the week what have you got for me you are not going to expect this georgia are you ready talk to me I've bought more dog stuff what you know never um it's getting a bit excessive but I'm here for it and I have no regrets no ragrets I think is what the cool kids say do they say they probably don't but that's okay um I've been buying really obnoxious dog stuff obviously I have just gotten a puppy for those of you who don't know you probably should because

it's all i talk about nowadays i've been buying dog bows like things that she can dress up in at christmas time because i'm obviously gonna have a puppy at christmas and that's really novel and i'm really ridiculous i'd also like to just take this time to let you know georgia that it is aligned to my values so yeah i'll continue to spend this way on ridiculous dog things in saying that these ridiculous dog things are like three or four dollars each we're not talking i'm spending thousands of dollars on like a gucci dog tracksuit do people do that yeah they do and that does actually exist so like i'm not there yet yet but it's a slippery slope yeah i can imagine the world of dogs um georgia have you got a money win or confession for us this week uh i do okay

i'm gonna go with a money win this week i've got a couple written down that i'm gonna divvy up across the journey so this one as you guys know because i talk about it all the time i've recently moved out with my partner oh my gosh you've moved out with the partner anyway we so we were doing our big shot, went to Ikea, did all of that. You know, I got that ribber frame I was talking about last time. Yeah, you have to go to Ikea. It's like a rite of passage when you move out with a partner for the first time. Like you have to go to Ikea. If you didn't, I'm pretty sure your relationship's doomed. Yeah. Well, it was pretty intense. Like, as I said last time, Ikea on a Sunday. Oof, it is busy. I don't know why you did that to yourself, but that's okay. I know. And it

was the weekend we moved as well. Anyway, story for another time. I digress. So the other thing that is essential uh as well as going to ikea is decking your house full of plants yes also very essential but you know they can set you back they can set you back a lot they are very expensive especially when you're trying to be fancy plant lady yeah so this wasn't that fancy harps and i were walking back inside from our big day at ikea and there was this giant plant next to the rubbish bit like on our way back into the apartment building oh okay i was like um is that for free and like it was it's a little bit dingy so it was in this pot you can tell you can bring it back to life you are so full of love to give this plant it's gonna thrive and i know it that's what

i've done so we we took it kind of a little bit like are you sure someone wasn't in the middle of moving house and they just put their plant there for storage and you've stolen someone to be honest i'm not entirely sure that that is not that's a very nice welcome to the community georgia is the resident i'll take that tree um but look i've never been happier free plant for george i probably no it was honest like it's not there was an unattended plan unattended it was dingy but and it was beside the dead leaves yeah so money win look out for things near the bin i love that i love plants i feel like those of you who actually follow me on instagram know i'm a bit obsessed with my plants i've started propagating again what does that mean yeah so propagating is where

you take a leaf or like a stem of a plant create a new plant whoa oh yeah yeah i do know what that is it's kind of like the debt-free community on instagram like if you don't know about it you're like what is that but then once you learn about the debt-free community on instagram it's a massive rabbit warren yeah sure same with the plant instagram i love how you tied it all back to finance that's what she does welcome that's what we're here to do let's move on before our rabbit Warren gets any deeper let's move right across to the Facebook community Vicky D your favorite post this week last one of 2020 what have you got for me all right so this week I have a post that I have found from Emma and I actually thought it was a little bit inspirational which I wanted to share

because I want you guys to kind of do this as well so Emma posted and she said recently I discovered the term one man's trash is another man's treasure and this has never been more relatable. Leading up to the festive season, she thought that she would have a go at selling some of her unwanted stuff on Facebook marketplace. She thought what was going to be like a few dollars here and there actually ended up being more than $750 and she's actually still got more items pending to be sold. So I thought that was kind of epic, especially going into the silly season where most of us are a little bit cash strapped. She said, these were legit, just small things lying around my room and my house which had absolutely no value to me and she's also met some really

lovely people who actually told me these were Christmas items for friends and family so I really like that I feel like it's such a she's on the money thing to do which is why I wanted to share it so thank you Emma for posting that I actually love it well done have you got one that could rival Emma's post I do so mine is from Jess and it's a boozy money win so she was I like that we use words like boozy and bougie interchangeably we do yeah absolutely um take a shot now she was catching up with some friends at a winery recently and noticed a barrel of wine bottles for ten dollars each oh winery wines are never ten dollars no no no they are expensive anyway she got them for ten dollars it was something to do with the labels being like they were mislabeled but they

were completely fine um so usually they would retail between 20 and 36 dollars at the cellar door so she you know got them for a hot bargain i love that and she's also supporting the winery so cheers to you jess enjoy those bevos cheers jess i love that and i think that we would all agree that wine tastes the same regardless of what the label says if it was wrong i don't mind for sure if you have enough glasses you probably can't read the label anyway hey love that drink responsibly friends of course now v let's move across to the main chat uh for today's show so just a little uh disclaimer, this show will work a little bit differently from usual. It's not going to be as stat heavy as usual. It's going to be more reflective. I really like when you go full

stats. There's a couple of stats in there, but it's not like as intense. It's basically going to be a reflection on the year that has been 2020. Obviously it's been extremely hard for most of us, I would say. So what we want to do is look back and pick apart the things that we've learned and kind of just reflect on the year that was to kind of go into next year all guns blazing. 100% but before we get there Georgia and I were having a chat before and I'm obviously one of those big inspirational quote people love a good poem love a good inspo post and I found a really beautiful one online it is a poem that was written by a lovely lady called Laura Ding Edwards and I wanted to share that with you before we started

because as much as it's all about celebration, I feel like this really encapsulated everything that is She's On The Money, that is me, that is you, Georgia, and I read it to you and you were like, yes, that is literally. Had a little teary. Yeah, I think it was really special. So I'll read that out for you, friends,

because it's story time with V and I think that this is actually just too beautiful to summarise, you know, maybe the feelings we should have going into 2021. So the poem by Laura Ding Edwards is called The Mountain. if the mountain seems too big today then climb a hill instead if the morning brings you sadness it's okay to stay in bed if the day ahead weighs heavy and your plans feel like a curse there's no shame in rearranging don't make yourself feel worse if a shower stings like needles and a bath

feels like you'll drown if you haven't washed your hair for days don't throw away your crown a day is not a lifetime a rest is not defeat don't think of it as a failure just a quiet kind retreat it's okay to take a moment from an anxious fractured mind the world will not stop turning when you get realigned the mountain will still be there when you want to try again you can climb it in your own time just love yourself till then beautiful i know put that on a pillow i mean it would be too many words for a pillow but it'd be a big pillow a huge pillow i think it could be a really great Instagram post so we'll do that and chuck it in the newsletter this week because genuinely I just feel like that's the type of energy that we should be

encompassing and encapsulating all the way through till 2021 and essentially to summarize all of that just be kind to yourselves and let's get on to a bit more of an exciting topic. Let's do it okay so Vy start us off by talking me through what you've learned this year it's obviously been a massive year for you in a professional sense a personal sense a lot has happened so give our listeners a little bit of insight into how it's all been for you. Oh my gosh 2020 was an absolute garbage flyer but also at the same time it would be really naive of me to say that it wasn't one of the best years for me ever the She's On The Money community has grown and grown and we have this epic community of literally more than a hundred thousand people now

I am so proud it makes me cry it is so epic I'm also in this really fortunate position where we have hired a number of people to join the she's on the money team like we've got a new producer Beck she's a legend we've obviously got Ryan John who's been here for a while I've hired Jess and she is going to be a community manager she is my EA she is a content creator she's honestly so beautiful and I'm so grateful for her to have started we've got Steffi who's going to be the person that you guys will hear from when you fill in our inquiries to get matched with your perfect broker or accountant or financial advisor and to be honest I never saw this coming I didn't think she's on the money would grow that way obviously Georgia King I've got you and I've got Tania and

I feel very grateful for everybody but at the end of the day like as much as the community has grown and has been so special I'm not gonna lie took a massive impact mentally for me I think the whole team knows this hasn't been the easiest year on me it has been incredibly hard I've gone through a number of health issues I stressed so much Georgia that I gave myself shingles I don't think I knew that no I don't really talk about it because it's just not that interesting my friends but at the end of the day I think it would be really silly of me to not talk about the not so shiny side of this like I've put myself in a position where I have ended up really really sick and had to spend a number of days in bed. But I also think that that's, you know, I'm not

going to normalize that. That's actually not okay. I shouldn't have burnt myself out like that. I should have taken a break, but I'm just really passionate about what I do. On a personal front, Georgia. A little bit's been going on. Got a dog. She's sitting beneath the table right now. Yeah, but she's officially an office dog. So she'll be in all of the She's On The Money recordings moving forward. I got Henry the cat because obviously we all decided ISO pets were a thing. love henry obviously have bailey so now i'm the pet mom of three pets which i didn't see coming and on a more exciting front that i haven't announced but if you're listening to the pod you get to know georgia i bought my first home this year i know so exciting yeah we haven't

spoken about it yet but you best believe i've already filmed a home tour you guys will be the first to know i'll show you all around because it's essentially the house that she's on the money built and to be honest that's so special so Steve and I we bought a home we bought a dog and I feel like that's just really adult like a tap out there Georgia how's yours been I know it's been a bit weird a bit big a bit everywhere what's been going on with you yeah so similarly I guess I'd like to start out by acknowledging my privilege my god um it's been such a hard time for everyone um but yeah it it has been a really just a really bizarre year as most of you guys would know I was living at home with my parents for most of this year back out now with Harper

as I was just saying and you know wasn't working was working a little bit then was doing a degree like it was just kind of not what I expected in any way I think that's exactly what everybody feels. It's just not what we expected. I mean, obviously good and bad things have happened this year, but like this is not what we expected. No, unprecedented is, you know, the buzzword that we won't miss when this is all over. I think it's really made me appreciate those luxuries that we're afforded living in Australia now that Melbourne is opened up. Yeah, I just feel really lucky, I think, and I'll never take really anything for granted again. So big year, big year. And it's Also, it's obviously been amazing being a bigger part of She's On The Money

and working with UV and, you know, getting to know everyone a little bit more in the community and, yeah, just really grateful. Feeling warm and fuzzy. I know, right? Yeah. I feel like it's time that we had a She's On The Money bit of a party at some point.

Can we? Socially distanced event? Yeah, it'll be a socially distanced event, maybe one for the team and then maybe in 2021 when we're allowed all back together, we should have a legit She's On The Money party. Stunning. Pencil that in the diary. By allowed She's On The Money friends. Yeah.

Someone messaged me the other day, actually, this is such an off topic episode, but I really like it. Someone messaged me the other day and they're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry to be messaging you, but I really wanted to just share my money win with you. You probably think it's really weird that listeners are writing in. No, no, we're just friends that haven't met yet. Like we just, we haven't met yet. And at the end of the day, I'm so excited to hear from you. I want to hear your money wins. I want to hear your confessions. I want to answer your questions and be a part of that. And that's what She's On The Money's growing plans are so that I can be more available to you guys and I can be a part of that journey. We'll move along to the next point here,

Vy. So in terms of the biggest things that have come out of the year in a financial sense, obviously, many of us have lost our jobs. Many of us have taken pay cuts. We were in a recession, now we're out of a recession, I think. Apparently, yeah. Apparently. But the first thing I wanted to talk to you about is the stat that Aussie's savings are up at the highest they have been since the 1970s. Obviously, that's because we haven't been able to travel or go out. So that's where those savings have come from. I knew you'd bring a good stats gal.

Yeah, I couldn't help myself. But I wanted to ask you a couple of things. So the first, what do you think people should be doing if they do now have a little bit of extra money in their accounts and maybe a few extra grand or something like that? And then my second question is how you've seen people's attitudes towards money change this year? I think it's absolutely not the case for everybody though.

I know that those stats are up and that is so epic and I think that there's you know a lot to do with the fact that lots of us weren't able to go out and some of us were a little bit less frugal with our money and we were able to just spend spend spend because we were leaving the house every day I do think that you know it might not be super reflective of the she's on the money community because I have been speaking to lots of you about going through extreme disadvantage and you know not experiencing that I just don't think it's the case for every single She's On The Money community member or even every single Australian and for the people who lost their jobs this year you guys are obviously not going to be able to relate to this at all but the stats do show us

that on the whole our savings are up and I think that that's a really great thing it means that Australia in general is a little bit more financially secure I think there's also a higher priority that's come out of this year of having emergency savings and having an emergency fund and being in a position where you know have a little cash up our sleeves because I think in some way shape or form no matter what we've gone through every single one of us has experienced a little bit of a pang when it came to talking about money this year and I guess that's you know not a great thing but if you are one of those people who has managed to up your savings then fantastic my friend my advice would actually be just be as smart as possible with that extra cash view it as

what was the word last week, Georgia? Fungible. And as we discussed last week, let's just not think of it as free money. Like if you've got savings, let's make hay while the sun is shining, my friends. We need to be putting that to work because at the end of the day, we don't want to have to go through what we went through again to have those savings recuperated. So there are a few options that we can look at here. The first is just hang tight, pop that money into a high interest savings account and just leave it as you would build up your savings even further. I say high interest savings account but our savings rates are very low at the moment and that is also okay because that is just reflective of the current interest rates in the current market it is not

because the bank's doing the wrong thing it's actually they can't afford to give us the savings rates that we had before but you'll also notice that interest rates on home loans are going down which I know lots of people in our community are really excited about because it means that they can save more money or they can put more money towards their mortgages and get out of debt quicker which I think is really special and I think that if this year has pushed you forward in a position where you now want to start thinking about bigger ways to make your money work for you we could actually look at investing on a micro or macro level or we could even look at property depending on your circumstances the key thing I don't want though is our community to be doing

all of the spending of that newly saved money but sure treat yourself here and there like not gonna say no to that we've had a shocking year and sometimes we all need to seek a little joy in the fun things in life perhaps a little massage at the end of the day I'm a bit guilty of those but wouldn't it be amazing if we could take something positive out of this really hard year and use it for the benefit of future us like I'm always talking about future you future us I think that they're really important and at the end of the day like we should be putting them first right now like you went through this so that future you could potentially be in a better position the second part of your question because your question had a number of different components

thank you Georgia King was how I've seen other people's attitudes change towards money this year and to be honest I think there have been a number of ways that I've seen a shift so some people have actually just become really conservative with their money and they're securing their finances for the unknown that's laying ahead which is kind of interesting and others are spending big now that those everyday luxuries of eating out and shopping are all available to us again I'm saying this actually in my own friends groups because we are based in Melbourne and we have arguably had the longest lockdown in the history of ever you know that could change I feel like COVID isn't over and we don't know what's lying ahead of us yeah and some people just haven't changed at all

and they're just continuing on with the way that they always have which I think is kind of cool as well so I think everybody is different all of those things are fine the priority here should just be about making future us better off yeah i was actually reading a study the other day called brand new australia which was really interesting and we'll chuck that in the group at some point and that actually identified that there are fewer new consumer personality types emerging as a result of covid19 so the five groups that this study identified are safety seekers so this was 26 percent of australians simplifiers which was 20 percent of australians opportunists which is 20%. Strugglers, 18. And returners, which was 16%. So I'll quickly recap all of them

because it was actually really interesting. And you know, you don't have to read it because my friends, I did that for you. So safety seekers group, this group was primarily comprised of people over the age of 65, as they are extremely worried about the future, the virus. And as such, they're very alert and very careful about what they do, where they're going and who they see. So financially, they are purchasing as much as they can from the local and independent traders like these guys. They're our toilet paper hoarders, my friends. The strugglers who made up 18% of this study are also stressed for the future and mainly in a financial sense. So these are the people from lower income households who have been hit hardest in an economic sense by the coronavirus. This group

anticipate that the next few years is going to be a huge struggle for them and saving and budgeting has recently become a huge priority for them. The third group, they were called the opportunists and these are pretty stress-free kind of peeps. They view the pandemic as the jolt that they needed to reassess how they were living and what they actually want from life. So finance was less of a distressor for this group. Then we have simplifiers and these guys are worried about their financial situation but on the whole are quite optimistic. So like the opportunists, the pandemic for simplifiers has been a chance to re-evaluate what they actually want from their lives with the conclusion that they prefer to have a less complicated existence interesting

which i kind of get this report actually found that this group were more likely to trade down and shift their priorities from buying material goods to purchasing experiences which i think is really cool and then finally we have the returners and these guys they're super chill about everything they are ready to go back to the way things were and the virus really hasn't changed their behavior at all. So they're kind of like, eh, they don't mind. So I think it's interesting to look at stuff like this and have a think about it. And I'd really encourage everyone to take a little moment and have a think about what they've learned this year and about the way they want to live and what has changed for them in terms of their goals and their values. So we can jump into next year with

a super clear outlook for the road ahead, which I think is, you know, where we should all be at. For sure. It is what it is. Stuff happens. We can't control it. Let's try and control the things that we can control and understand the things that are within our breadth of understanding and i think that that's all we can really do i think that was something you spoke about with psychologist brie in your self-care seminar remembering about anxiety or something yes and i loved those sessions they were great they were actually so fun and she was so generous with her time like brie love you love your work those videos are still up on youtube though if you guys miss them we had a number of self-care sessions where i got a psychologist brianna sada who is

honestly one of the most delightful humans you will ever meet and she just talked through how to manage anxiety and how to manage the time that we were going through and that was really powerful even for me because in the background I'm obviously very open and happy to share this like I was struggling mentally and just really struggling with lockdown and really struggling being away from my friends and my family and feeling like I was you know not in control because I'm very type a I don't know if you guys noticed super type a personality and I just felt like I have the grace of seeing a psychologist like I am so lucky and so fortunate to be in that position and wanted to extend it to other people so you know that video series was essentially like

little therapy sessions that we had every Thursday night together we should repost that in the Facebook group I reckon to bring it back to the top of the feed yeah let's do that we'll move on now again there be so we talk about money a lot on the podcast she's on the money go figure I I didn't even know. What? Are you a financial advisor? No, I don't even know what that is. So the other thing we often talk about because it kind of goes hand in hand with money is career. Oh, we do. Yes.

So is there any advice you would have for people who have found this year that working and striving for the ultimate career success may not actually be what they wanted after all? I guess that would be maybe the simplifiers. So people that are kind of shifting their priorities and are thinking, oh, maybe CEO position is not what I'm after. Maybe I just want a more, a simpler life. I like that. And yeah, I have actually heard from a lot of people

who before the pandemic had identified themselves as super ambitious career-wise and they were super career-focused people. But now having spent most of the year either not working or working from home or working in those very intense situations on the front line they've decided that maybe work isn't as important to them as they thought it would have been at the start of this year other things like family and friends and domestic travel

and having more time on our hands have really become a bit more of a priority and I think that's such a good thing like we talk about this in our team all the time that I don't want my team to just have to like work to live like I want them to live to work and like enjoy their jobs and you know really seek passion out of that and that you know falls back into like work-life balance and actually having a good one and you know everyone thought I think at the start of COVID lockdowns that working from home would be a dream and it'd be so easy and I think most of us have actually found that we're working longer hours and we're unable to separate work from life and it's all becoming all-consuming and overwhelming and not a nice thing to have happen to us and you know

there are some people who are going to be like Victoria I've got rocks in your head I love working from home and I do know a couple of people like that you crazy crazy friends we're all very different and I think that you know a lot of us have been forced into a position where we've had to think do I actually want this being surrounded by people in an office every day sometimes gives you that extra energy that you need to get through the working day but when it's just you and your job in you know maybe the spare room or even like the dining table of your share house you realize doing this 24 7 this doesn't appeal to me for the rest of my life and I think you know what how lucky are we to have been given that reflection point to really work out what we want and where

we want to go and what that looks like yeah for sure just a little shout out in here as well just wanted to send love and thanks to all of the frontline workers this year as well because you might be thinking oh god girls stop talking about office and home stuff I've been on the frontline fighting this pandemic um so just wanted to say you guys are next level you guys are so cool it is not funny we are so lucky to have you i think you've been wildly underappreciated for way too long and now you are literally the reason we are getting through this and we are okay and we are safe so shout out to you friends bloody you are epic and i love it yes thank you queens now the kind of on this same uh pattern of thought what would you say to people who are coming to the

close of 2020 and are thinking, God damn, I have not achieved anything close to what I thought I would achieve. Don't worry, my friend, that is fine. I think go back to that poem I read out at the start of this episode. At the end of the day, I think most of us can actually relate to this feeling. Personally, I had so much planned for my business and my personal life and it just hasn't happened. Again, I am really lucky in that a lot has clearly happened in both of those spaces, but it is so hard as someone who thrives on feeling like they're achieving to take a step back and say you know what Victoria just surviving is enough right now and obviously I've got a puppy and I've bought a home and I've done all these really cool shiny things but admittedly they've

happened in December they have not been the entire year and as much as I'm so so grateful and so privileged to have been able to do that I'm also in a position where during the year it was survival mode and it did feel like it was hard to get out of bed and some days I just spent the entire day in bed and you know what friends that is okay and you need to give yourself permission to do that and I think that by me talking about it hopefully it gives you permission to maybe feel a little bit more okay yeah that that's it because I know I've got a number of friends who are like oh yeah sorry I didn't answer the phone I was busy and I'm here going well I know you weren't I know you were just feeling really flat and that's okay too but we should be having these conversations with each

other and I know Georgia I've said to you and I've said to the team do you know what I couldn't get out of bed today I was just feeling really flat and I think that knowing that there are people on my team going oh that's okay that's totally fine do you need anything no I'll be right I'll be right tomorrow just need it today how grateful to have a team that literally embrace that for me yeah but also hearing that from the boss or for people listening to this now from a podcaster that you love who you look up to or whatever I don't know if you do I'm sure you do yeah or don't do that no but I think that is really meaningful and the more we speak about things like this the more normalized it becomes and it makes it easier for everyone so absolutely and like mental

health is so important and mental health is real health last question before we move on to our listener question today B obviously the garbage fire is about to be behind us we're about to step into a fresh year great what tips or hot tip would you have for our listeners to take home with them as we move into this new year. Yeah, no tips except listen to the next pod because that's literally what the new year tips pod is going to be about. New year, new me.

Not that because that's what I did last year, but literally like how we can start 2021 on the best foot. But for now, I would just like to say, let's congratulate ourselves on getting through an impossibly tough year. There's something really symbolic about starting afresh in 2021. And of course the pandemic

and all of the collateral damage it has caused won't just cease when the year ticks over, but it is a really good chance to reframe our perspective and start being a little bit more positive and a little bit more optimistic and a little bit more all-inclusive and you know making sure that we are all on the same team together so again make sure you just tune into next week's episode for more insight on that subtle plug also just before we go plug you did a poem at the start of this chat so i'm going to sing a song for the last 2020 victoria's not sure what's what's happening this is very off topic but i'm here for it what are we singing georgia okay guys

there's always gonna be another mountain i'm always gonna make it want to make it move always gonna be an uphill battle sometimes i'm gonna have to lose ain't about how fast i get there it ain't about what's waiting on the other side because it's the climb all right i love that yeah obviously question do you know what miley back it up watch out george is coming for your job in 2021 sorry for anyone who listened to that sorry guys uh listener question let's go hi there you've reached the she's on the money mailbox do you have the money problem you want help solving? Do you have a money dilemma you just want to chat about? Victoria is here

to help. Every week, we'll be playing your questions to help make sense of a money mess you may have found yourself in. Make a quick recording on your phone and send it through to podcast at shesonthemoney.com.au and you might even find yourself on the show. But for now, here's today's listener question. Hi, She's On The Money girls. I live in Melbourne and I very much enjoyed things going back to what feels like a new normal. When we were in lockdown, I found that I unexpectedly managed to save a lot of money i moved back home with my parents and kept my job but with a pay cut what's troubling me now though is i'm finding spending money is making me feel quite guilty

i know it's silly but i feel like things could go the other way and i could lose my job and then be in trouble i'm hoping you two can help me find a way to not expect the worst so that i can enjoy my money and our relatively new freedom okay v this is an interesting one today and one i feel like is probably quite relatable to a few of our listeners who are finding it quite hard to spend after the year that we've had? I think there's a lot of anxiety just floating around about money in general and spending in general and you know doing things that we haven't done for a while like you might have been really good at just kind of dropping 40 bucks every couple of weeks and getting your nails done but now you feel a little bit anxious about it because you're more aware of

it and I think it's just about you know understanding your budget. To be honest I'm always going to come back to budget and cash flow. It is who I am as a person. I'm so sorry about that. But literally, you are going to feel less guilty once you know it's in your budget. You shouldn't ever feel guilty about spending. If you go through it, create a budget, understand your cash flow system, understand what is going on. I feel like that alleviates a lot of the stress and the guilt because you know you're contributing to your future. Because if you've got a good budget and you've got a good cash flow system you know that you are putting money into savings and you know maybe you're investing or maybe you're working towards a goal so when you do spend money there's

no guilt associated because you already know the big stuff and your big goals are being looked after and I think that's a really big part of what we do here at She's on the Money it's about not stopping you feeling guilty about spending but just teaching you that there are different ways to understand your cash flow and understand your budget and how empowering that can be I'm not going to say what's $40, but essentially what's $40 when you know that that was already in your budget and allocated for you to spend. So there's no guilt around it. And often we feel really guilty because there's animosity. We feel like, Oh, I shouldn't spend that. But you don't know what you were meant to do with it. Otherwise you feel guilty, you know, tapping your card.

You're like, Oh, I shouldn't be doing this. But you feel guilty because you don't know what you should be doing because there's no real plan in place yeah there's no plan in place there's not something going on in the background that makes you feel really empowered and secure so for me it's about you know get your budget down on paper i don't care if you do it on a napkin or you're doing my budget and cash flow masterclass like arguably you would expect that the budget cash flow masterclass probably a lot more powerful but you know what budgeting is budgeting you start wherever you need to you're going to feel a whole heap better once you understand what's coming into your bank account each and every single week what has to go out and what you can spend without

feeling bad bloody good advice from you vicky d thank you georgia king um i just wanted to make a little comment on how crazy it is how much you save when you still live at home like that is such an immense privilege one that i enjoyed this year um but when you live out of home life becomes so much more expensive like she said that she took a pay cut and has saved which is you know no rent no bills no petrol won't really that can be a little bit of a kick up i'm going to twist that sorry that can be a little bit of a kick up the butt to anybody who is living at home and potentially still living paycheck to paycheck and they're not having to pay you know home bills or rent start putting future you first start putting money away because my friends you will not have

that privilege again and i know there are a lot of you listening me included who wish that when they did live at home they'd kind of made more of the opportunity because I feel like lots of my friends are like oh my gosh when I used to live at home I used to spend so much going out I should have been saving this is your kick up the bottom yeah for you to go and start saving and start putting together a plan just because you don't have that expense doesn't mean you shouldn't be putting money to the side yeah well it's like a disposable income essentially that you have but that word is flawed like disposable no it's not fungible fungible that's never gonna take off but we sure will stick to it um but no i think that is really good advice so hopefully that

helped you uh listener question asker hi i'm the 24 year old supportive partner and this is my money diary last year my partner left their job at the time it was just due to like workplace bullying and stuff so he left at the time i was also very busy with work because i was financially supporting the both of us so I didn't necessarily notice what was going on. He developed a gambling problem and spent nearly $30,000 of our savings before I noticed. It was really tough but we ended up getting through it. It's not something that like people really teach you how to deal with or what to do when that kind of happens so it was very much winging it on my end. We went to like

counselling to be like why are you doing this? Why do you feel like you need to do this? And then it got to a point where they suggested that he doesn't have any control over his money until he feels like he can make good decisions without doing any gambling really so balancing being angry and supportive at the same time is extremely hard to do and I would definitely not recommend it if you ever get the choice at first it was just a lot of hurt just processing that kind of information because his money problems are my money problems at the end of the day we're going to be building a life together so it would it would come up at some point the way I dealt with it at first just got rid of my anger kind of let it go and then it

turned into a support of okay what are we going to do here it was very similar to like making an action plan at work type thing so I'm going to see a counsellor each week we'll talk it through we'll put money aside and then slowly let him back have access to his money and feel comfortable spending without the need to go gamble what does our 24 year old supportive partner do for work I'm a marketing supervisor and I also study a bachelor of arts bachelor of commerce as well How much does she earn and how much is in her bank account right now? I currently earn $67,000 a year, but I work on like a commission bonus structure. So some months I could get like an extra $2,000 or an extra $5,000.

So it really does vary. And currently I've got $10,000 in my personal account and $65,000 in a joint savings and $2,000 in an emergency fund. And what happens to that money once it hits her account? So first thing that happens, I've got a direct debit into Spaceship every week. So around $10 to $20 goes into that, $750 goes towards our joint account for our house, $200 towards my personal bills, $100 towards our joint bills, and then $100 into a joint spending for like birthday, Christmas, weddings, like just a general fund of everything that

happens throughout the year. And then $200 for me to spend throughout the week and the rest goes into personal savings. What are her thoughts on investing and does she invest in herself? So I think investing is great. I think it's something that everybody should be doing where obviously feasible. I do invest, but not very much. I've currently got $400 sitting in my spaceship account. I want to get that a lot higher and I want to do the bigger shares like into big companies

and be on the stock market. I just want to have a bit more saved up so I can go into it with a larger amount rather than just a few hundred dollars. What debts does she have? So the only debt I have is my HECS debt. It's sitting at around $25,000. I've only got two semesters of university to go so it shouldn't go up too much but I'm also not fussed it's a good debt so it'll just get taken out of my pay each week for probably the rest of

my life. What are her best money habits? So my best money habits something I'm really proud of is I'm really good at getting a bargain whenever I buy absolutely anything I make sure I look on every possible website for a discount code I sign up to all these loyalty programs which I know Victoria will say unsubscribe from all of them but what I do is I have a mailbox where I just have all of my spam emails go to I never look at it except for when I want to buy something and then look up the store and then I see if there's any discount codes and what are her worst money habits I probably have two worst money habits so the first one would be food I really really tried a meal plan that I just absolutely fails with my job I'm very busy and I don't

normally have times to take a proper lunch Frank's I don't have time to go downstairs and heat up my lunch. So if like a food van comes or Uber Eats, I'm very easily convinced. The second thing is I'm very lazy when it comes to comparing insurances. And especially after listening to the podcast a while ago about brand loyalty, I felt very attacked, but it's something that I need to do. I just think when I'm with a company, I'm with a company. So it's something I need to look into a bit more. What is her big money goal? So our big money goal is to obviously save up for a house, get as much income into that as we really can, but also to recover from some of the financial debt that we had for the last few years in gambling.

Potentially save all of that money back that he did lose and just try to move on from there. When I was younger, I did all of my travels. I've done like US, Europe, Philippines. So I've kind of passed that phase of traveling and I just want to focus on buying a house and starting to settle down a little bit. What grade would she give her money habits? I would give myself a B+. previously it would have been a B but I've started investing so I'm quite happy with that. I would

increase it to an A if I changed my insurances and got a bit more on top of that. What advice would she give to her past self or to others in a similar situation? The advice that I'd give to others or myself two years ago is just have a look at these kind of habits earlier. In my situation it started with oh just a few bets online for grand final day, a few bets for Melbourne Cup day and it was something I wasn't phased about because it's so general in our culture and really it shouldn't be because you're just wasting money at very bad odds you're much better putting it into investing or literally anything else so it started off something really small and then because I was so preoccupied in my own work and trying to hit bonuses to cover both of our incomes it was

something that I didn't really notice again the most important thing that I wish I knew back then is to look out for the small signs so those gamblings they're going to casinos and stuff like that even though it's small it can very easily develop into something a lot bigger if paired with something like depression or anxiety all right victoria i have finished highlighting my many notes uh so you're ready i love this i am ready kick us off with your thoughts on this uh quite emotional quite interesting very unique money this this hurt me at the same time has made me incredibly proud. So many people's relationships would have fallen apart had they found out that their partner was hiding something like that and going through a situation like that

that clearly financially impacted them so severely. I don't know what I'd do if I was in a situation like that and I really hope that I would have the grace that this money diarist had to deal with that before we even you know jump into the semantics of the conversation how special is she as a human to know all right i'm gonna get some help i'm gonna go counseling we're gonna get through this together she fully understood that there was underlying issues there whereas often people don't give that situation any further thought and you know what that's epic because that wouldn't have been easy to do and i think she kind of glossed over the fact that she went through all of that and it sounded a lot easier than I know it would have been so you're epic I love that and I

love that your relationship was strong enough to go through that and that you as a human were smart enough to know that you do need help and you do need to reach out to other people something like that is obviously going to set you back I thought it was really great that she did have such clarity on her budget and cash flow and obviously was going through such a challenging period of time but that didn't financially cripple them I mean it set them back for sure like losing thirty thousand dollars is a lot of money to have lost but they clearly aren't in mass amount of consumer debt because of it it's not like he was putting all of that spending on a credit card and I think that that's you know a lucky outcome of a gambling addiction because it is secret it is something

that people feel really ashamed of and it is something that is really hard to deal with so So two questions for you here, V. I might ask you first what your thoughts on gambling are in general. I think I know what you're going to say, but let's make it clear for anyone who loves a bit. So I don't like gambling at all. It's addictive. Studies have shown that the release of dopamine that happens during gambling

occurs in the brain area similar to those activated by taking drugs of abuse. Like that's crazy. at the end of the day it's literally an addiction and these rewards pathways are similar to those seen in individuals suffering from drug addiction who are becoming hypersensitive it just gets worse and that's why you need help this isn't something where people are just spending money and they can just stop it's a genuine addiction and it needs to be treated as such and it's something that it's really challenging it ruins families it ruins relationships it breaks people up it ruins friendships you might see it as really non-consequential when you just go to the casino

with a couple of friends on a Friday night play a couple of games of blackjack go home lost some money all right well it's only 20 bucks like that's fine you're paying for that fun but I think we really need to understand that for some other people that dopamine hit means so much more and that's where addiction comes into play and it's where we need to start understanding that these things work differently for other people to me I don't like it I don't like it at all I'm obviously very opinionated when it comes to this but I'm in a very special position where I speak to lots of people going through these things and help them seek help and you know it's very secretive I've got girlfriends whose partners have gone through this and they are secretive and it's

these situations that I wouldn't wish anybody to be on because it puts unnecessary pressure on every aspect of their relationship and you know to me it's a really bad thing yeah for sure and it's also it's so hard to avoid the gambling ads like you watch a game of footy it is just riddled with the latest odds and they package it in the most glamorous blokey way and it is honestly repulsive i'm not a fan either um it's such a big problem um actually this is a side note i for uni was doing um an assignment on teenage drinking and i spoke to paul dylan who a lot of you probably would recognize his name he's a drug and alcohol uh specialist he came and spoke in my high school legend um and he said the biggest problem facing these kids today beyond uh consent issues around

consent is gambling so it is terrifying it's something that there needs to be much tighter regulation around i don't know how they're getting away with what they're doing right now um but yeah oh it's such a crazy space and i think that there's a lot of people in our community that will have been impacted by this whether it is yourself because it's not just a male dominated thing women gamble women do this it's obviously more of a male centric space in that you know related to sports like we don't want to you know gender stereotype I'm the biggest sports fan and it is very male dominated because you know I'm not going to get around the football in the same way because I just genuinely don't have the interest um and betting on that betting on the horses I

feel like it's such a male thing women aren't immune to it happens all the time we just often do it in different ways yeah so yeah like your brain can get addicted to gambling but it impacts our listeners it might impact their partners you know you could have grown up in a family that experienced financial distress because your family member or parent was a gambler like it is it's a form of abuse if you are in that situation and I just think that you know that is a part of a lot of our listeners money stories and it's something that they need to go through and I think that we should be talking about these topics more and more because it is addictive and it is detrimental and gambling is such an interesting psychological phenomenon I think in that there's been so much

research on it and research on how the psychological processes affect gambling behavior and it's just yeah it's it's really interesting and I think that you know maybe we'll do an entire episode on it we should it's really interesting we will uh post some helplines and websites and phone numbers in the show bio today as well guys if this is something you struggle with um just to celebrate a few of the great things about this money yeah apologies it's kind of it was an off but i think that it's really important to kind of like really emphasize that this is a massive issue and we'll talk about it on an episode at some point yeah was there anything else you wanted to say about the lovely 24 year old supportive partner she's obviously great at finances she's got she's

greated finances she's got a whole heap of savings she's really great um and yeah i think that if she just gets more on top of her budgeting and cash flow they could absolutely be back where they begun i think it's genuinely about them as a couple addressing the underlying issues about why gambling became an issue in the first place so that they don't find themselves in that sticky situation again yeah 100 and with the counseling they'll be absolutely fine so thank you so much for sharing your story today our 24 year old supportive partner what a special story to have i know shared with us last one for the year i feel like that's a very uh important one to round out the year thank you friends time to wrap the show vicky d before we wrap the show we'd like to

acknowledge and pay respects to australia's aboriginal and torres strait islander peoples the traditional custodians of the lands the waterways and the skies all across australia we thank you for sharing and for caring for the land on which we are able to learn we pay our respects to elders past and present and we share our friendship and also our kindness the advice shared on she is on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she is on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or a financial decision and we promise victoria divine is an authorized representative of australia pacific funds management proprietary limited abn 34132463257 afsl 339151 that was my

worst for the year that was the worst but that is okay all right and a big thank you to ryan and beck our producer uh angels i'll say angels that's what's written down um for putting it all together making it you know endurable oh my gosh yes and like so excited to come back in 2021 do you know why talk to me because ryan john has been named as a morning radio host officially for 2021 on Kiss FM, which obviously we're really proud of. He got the gig of Summer Breakfast Radio host. And he got promoted. He got promoted and got to stay on.

He must have done a good job. What a likeable fella, hey? What a likeable human being. But furthering that, guess what? He's coming back in 2021 married. Oh, yeah! Yay, Ryan! When's their wedding? There's not many days left. I mean, it would have happened by the time

that this podcast goes live. I'm not going to share any more, but I'm so excited are we meant to share that who cares we're sharing that no we're not going to cut that out ryan's getting married and we are so excited but you know what we're also excited about what are we excited about our facebook group where our community shares money tips and tricks literally every single day free of judgment got new mods in there so nothing is going to go missing my friends anymore so she's on the money on facebook and join us if facebook's not you think we're literally on every single social media platform.

And so is Lucy, the moccas dog. You can find her at Lucy the Golden Sheepadoodle on Instagram. You won't regret that. You won't regret that. That's all, guys. Happy New Year, my loves. Until next year. Merry Christmas.

Happy New Year. Bye. Thanks for watching!