She's On The Money - He Convinced Her To Buy Property With Her Inheritance… Then Tried to Take It in the Breakup

Episode Date: December 21, 2025

This is one of those Money Diaries that starts with a decision that feels sensible at the time… and slowly reveals just how much weight it carries. When her partner suggested using her inheritance to buy property together, it felt like the right next step. The grown up one. The kind you make when you’re building a future with someone. Then the relationship ended, and that decision didn’t disappear with it. In this episode, she walks us through what happens next. The parts of property ownership no one explains when you’re in love. The confidence knock that comes from being told you’re “bad with money.” And the reality of having to step up financially before you feel ready. She also shares the systems she built to make money feel manageable again, especially with a brain that doesn’t love numbers, and the lessons she wishes she’d known before saying yes. This one is full of the stuff you don’t realise you need to know until you really, really do. Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+. And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan. Mumu bangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools

knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that lets you be pervy on other people's money habits for educational purposes of course welcome back to another one of our money diaries where we get the chance to talk to one of our incredible she's on the money community members all about their journey. Now let's jump in because this week I got an email and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, she's on the money. My fiance convinced me to use my inheritance to buy an apartment and put him on the title as a joint tenant. Two months before the wedding, he said, it's you, not me, and tried to force me to sell the apartment so he could get money he

didn't put in. In the two years since, I've submitted a PhD thesis, of course she has, got a new job, then got a $30,000 pay rise, and I am finally the sole owner of the apartment he convinced me to buy. She's on the money, helped me build my confidence and audacity through this journey, and I am forever grateful. Queen, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. It's really exciting to be here. Sorry, this guy sounds like a douche. I'm so glad that the wedding didn't happen what do you mean it's you not me it was never you it was him tosser well that's what my therapist has helped me come to the realization of like that is textbook manipulation like just could he have been a little bit more subtle at least he was subtle at the beginning that's why

I stayed with him so long but then it just got worse it kept going on and then yeah just at the very end he's like no don't want this anymore oh my god but I do want your apartment so like let's go with that. Money Queen, I want to start at the very start. Before I get the pleasure of asking you about your money story, I'm going to ask you, what grade would you give your money habits if I asked you to give them a grade from A through to F? Naturally, I just want to go straight F. But actually thinking about it and thinking about where I've come from and where I am now, I think I'm comfortable saying a C plus. A C plus. Sorry. You submitted a PhD thesis, got a job and then got a $30,000 pay rise and you're the sole owner of the apartment somebody else convinced you to

buy. So like, we're probably going to have a little bit of beef in this interview and that's fine. We'll work through it. You've got a therapist, so you could probably talk to her about that after. C plus, Queen, you already don't sound like a C plus, but let's get into it. I'm so pervy. I need to know. Tell me more about your money story. Yeah. So I think, as I said, like a lot of what I've gone through has come from my ex, but kind of going back to how I got into that situation I was late diagnosed with ADHD and dyscalculia so basically my entire childhood and the beginning of being an adult I kind of really just had knew that there was something wrong with me but didn't know what it was I just thought I was really bad at math really bad at

money and like having a casual job I just spent all of my money and had nothing at the end of it and then with the ADHD I also had this massive need to people please so I would also spend my money pleasing people buying things because I knew that made me happy so I always just yeah have absolutely no money into my name and then when I did get with my ex he kind of I didn't know this was the beginning but he kind of saw that about me and then basically always said like negative comments about like my ability with money kind of destroying my confidence in that sense and then when we were living together it was kind of a he would say oh you're really bad with money So why don't you buy everything we need and I will save for our future.

So as far as I was aware, he was saving for our future and for our wedding and everything like that. And then I was buying everything. I was paying all the bills. I was buying clothes, his underwear that he wore and everything like that. And then at that time, I thought our relationship was really healthy and loving. And I was obsessed with this man. So I would do anything for him.

Just like that bread crumbing that my therapist was talking about. Totally. And when you have ADHD, you lean real hard into that too. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then, yeah, I started doing my PhD halfway through that. I was on $40,000 a year while I was doing my PhD. And every cent that I had was going into that relationship. And then finally, I came into my inheritance, which obviously was really, really upsetting. But I finally just had access to all of this money. And I've never had access to money. everyone's always told me that was really bad of money and I trusted my ex and I was like I don't know what to do with this if it stays with me I will spend it and he said well that's enough to

buy a house so we started looking at a house but then that fell all completely to me to find a house find an apartment and so I did all that paperwork I did everything I used my money for the deposit we used his income because he was full-time working and I was only on forty thousand dollars but um yeah so then we ended up finding the apartment used my entire inheritance to fund the deposit buy all the white goods buy all the furniture everything for it and by the end of it i had nothing with his income he was military so we were able to go through defense bank we'll be able to get dohas and he said that the money that dohas was giving us was his contribution to the mortgage so he didn't put anything extra into it this man oh I know yeah and then so two months

later two months he didn't even give it more than two months yeah this was during COVID so like house prices were just astronomically increasing so we got a really good deal on this apartment two months later he turned around and told me he had been having an affair he was leaving me because during my PhD, I wasn't giving him enough attention. This other woman was giving him the attention that he needed. I hate this man. I like, I'll fight him. Yeah, no, my friends are exactly the same. Whenever I tell them this story, they're like, if we had known what he was like. So this man was like, great, I'm going to take advantage of money dice, get her to get a house. I'm going to gaslight her about, you know, what the military

contributes. And that can be my quote contribution. Also, by the way, I've been cheating on her the whole time because I'm just a stellar human being. Yeah. Yeah. But like people please us. I was like, oh, it's obviously something wrong with me. I'm doing the wrong thing. No, no. I want to shake everybody who does that. It was never you. And do you know what? You could have been the worst partner in the entire world. You still don't cheat. Yeah. Like you could have been. You could have been. And like, I already know you weren't. Like I can tell from your vibe and your personality and what you've achieved since. That's not you at all. But the idea that they're like, well, I had permission to cheat because she did this. Sir, leave the relationship if you want to be

with somebody else. You are disgraceful. Yeah. And the worst part is, is the person that he was cheating on me with knew that he was soon to be married because this was also two months before we were going to actually get married. Because the goal was I would submit my PhD thesis and we would get married at like that whole event. So it was just a nice big day, just celebrating all the good things, you know, the end of a lot of stress that I'd been going through. Yeah. In theory, gorgeous. Except he was a douchebag. You know what? The cream always rises to the top. That's you. And we can just pick you up and take you out of that situation. Even if it's painful, you're in a better situation now. Are you okay? Cause that feels like a lot of

trauma to go through? It was, especially writing a PhD thesis at the same time as going through all of that. So it was a lot all at once, but I feel like something in my head just clicked. Like it just everything kind of clicked and I was just able to just separate it as like, all right, I'm going to focus on my thesis, going to submit this, have a PhD, and then I will deal with all of that mess later. So we did get to it. Okay. So we got through that and you mentioned before you have got some therapy which is a 10 out of 10 idea because I feel like you were saying before I thought it was my fault no queen no no tell me now you did your PhD thesis in what cancer immunotherapy so using surgery to treat cancer stop it that is so cool tell me more about your

job what do you do for work now how much do you earn yeah so I have three sources of income three Yeah, to be able to get the mortgage on my own, my full time job wasn't enough. So for my job, I am a research officer. I'm currently earning $95,000 with 12% super on top of that. The company I work for is a charity. So I'm able to access 15,000 of that tax free and that goes directly into my mortgage. then i'm also a tutor for high school human biology that brings in about 10 000 a year but i do that as a sole trader so i automatically put half of that aside to make sure i pay tax and i pay my hex and super as well for that and then at the same time of me going through all of this i was kind of lonely so one of my besties she was like i'm gonna come and help you i'm gonna come and live with you so she moved into my spare bedroom and she stayed here ever since. And she pays me $200 a week in rent. So I get about $10,000 a year from that.

Sorry, you have dyscalculia and you are managing all of this and also doing your own bloody tax returns and putting money aside for tax. Sorry. This is iconic. It's very hard, but a lot of what I've learned. I didn't say it was easy, but how many people just don't even try when they're like, oh, I've got this. I could never, I could never. Like you tell yourself this narrative that you have to fall into a particular box. You are outside of that. You're like, no, no, no, that's not going to stop me. Can't be that hard. Men do finance and we know what they're like. Honestly, knowing all of this stuff actually comes down to listening to you and the podcast.

Because when I separated from my ex, one thing I knew I needed to get my money sorted. So every day I would go for an hour walk just to center myself and I would listen to She's On The Money. So we've been hanging out for ages. Yeah, every day for two years. We're basically best friends that haven't met yet. I love this. This is so good. Tell me a little bit more about the process because you know what? He put you in a tricky situation. He wanted you to sell the apartment. How did you stop that from happening? How did he get hands on any money? Like what does that look like? Yeah. So at the time when we separated, I wasn't earning enough money to get a mortgage on my own, but I had a little bit of money put to the side, which I was able to use

to hire a lawyer. So my lawyer was able to really do a good job of what he deserved, what I deserved and basically push the process out to a point where I would be able to get a mortgage on my own because I fell in love with this place. So I didn't want to leave it. I didn't want to sell it. And it's kind of your inheritance still. Yes, you were pushed down a certain route, but like that's still what your inheritance purchased. Yeah, exactly. I'm attached to this place. I didn't want to get rid of it. So she really helped me going through that process. We had to go through the family court basically to divide all our assets because we were de facto. So he was entitled to half of everything. I was entitled to half of everything, but the only asset we had

between us was this apartment. At the time of valuation, the apartment was worth, basically, if we were to split it in half, it was $100,000. So $50,000 for him, $50,000 for me. So I was able to increase my mortgage by $50,000 to buy him out. And that's how I ended up doing it. Good job, Queen. Also 50 grand to get him to jump in the bin. Perfect. Yeah. Obviously you have lawyer fees on top of that. So in total, I think it was about $65,000 I spent, but worth it. And what will that look like in the future? If you meet somebody else and go, all right, I'm going to set up shop. Are you now a little bit more protective of these things or like, have you got a plan in place? Cause I feel like once

you've been traumatized once you were like, this isn't, you cannot come near me. Yep. So listening to your podcast, I learned about finding financial agreements and also talking to my lawyer about like how to set up everything like that. So if I do get into a relationship and I think it's going serious, I'm going straight back to my lawyer. I'm like, Hey, can you set this up for me? And yeah. Yes. Yes. Iconic move. I love that. So you've got your apartment, I feel like you are absolutely on such a good track. What's your next big money goal? What are you currently working towards? Well, I spent all of my money to be able to get this apartment. So I don't have an emergency fund. So my next big money goal is to finally

get that emergency fund for me. And then I also have three cats. Oh, you are my people. Yes. Yeah. I want to be able to pay for them. So I need like a good emergency fund. And then eventually I want to go back to uni and I want to study to be a veterinarian so I also kind of want to be able to find myself through that. You're such a wholesome human being I love this of course you want to be a vet though you've got three cats I would have three cats if my husband would let me have three cats but we had to settle on two cats and a dog and right now my next thing that I keep asking for is a duck so we'll get there. I also want ducks. Yeah I want a duck I need two ducks and I've decided I want runner ducks because they look like the coolest type of duck. The really long

neck ones? Yeah, with the long necks and they look a little bit comical. I just think that would be so fun. I would love for ducks to live in my garden. My husband does not feel the same way. All right, let's get back on money track. We're going to take a really quick break. And on the flip side, I'm going to ask you more about this mortgage, how it worked, what it looks like, what debt is on it. And I want to know about investing and then best and worst money habits. So guys, don't go anywhere. All right, Money Diarist, we are back. And this story is juicy. Like, don't get me wrong. Love a good money story, but I do like hearing a little bit of the drama as well. Like, and my favorite type of drama is the type where you're like, I'm actually fine

now, but this is my story where you're not going through it at the moment. So it's like all clean, you know? So jumping into this, you're in the She's On The Money community. You and I have been hanging out for like an hour every day, which is so crazy. Do you invest? If not, what's the plan? if so, in what? Yes. So obviously I have my super. I was working casually most of my life, so it's not a lot, but I was really lucky that my best friend married a financial advisor who specialized in super. So he set that up and I've got about $60,000 in there. What do you mean you don't have much? You're literally 31 with 60 grand in super. Sit down. Yeah. And then also from She's In The Money, I've started actually investing. So I've only

been doing this for about a year, but luckily my income allows it. So I've managed to get that to $6,500 in ETFs. Oh my God. Sorry, that is iconic. Yeah. So it's not much. And then you slam me with 60 grand in super and six grand in shares. Sit down. How did you make the first move when it came to shares? Because I feel like so much of the time, women, especially when we maybe have been through a lot financially, we're so scared to pull the trigger. How did you decide to purchase your first ETF? Well, I'd learned about investing through the podcast. So I knew it was something that I wanted to do and it aligned with my values more than like buying a house would have if I'd known about that beforehand. But ADHD, very impulsive, looked on Reddit. Reddit said this

was a good idea. So I pulled the trigger straight away without even doing any more research. Not the smartest thing, but it's like that well. No, sorry. That was just like the gateway. You can change it after that. But like literally for a lot of people, it's taking the first step. how has your investment journey gone having dyscalculia because that is quite challenging and the thing that I think is one of the biggest misconceptions is that money is numbers and money is not numbers if you start to learn more about it the numbers we can do that you don't have to add anything together we have calculators literally on our phone shout out to my grey nine maths teacher who was like you're not gonna have a calculator walking around every day

Yeah. I do. I do. And it's fine. And I actually don't need you. You don't have to be good at maths to be good at money. So tell me about how that has impacted your investing journey. So the biggest issue that I have with the dyscalculia is that I struggle getting numbers in the right order. So I always have to double check whenever I do any sort of maths, anything to do with numbers because I can read them the wrong way. So that really impacts my ability to budget because I'll do a budget and then I'll realize I've got something wrong in that budget. And then I've spent more money than I thought that I had. So it hasn't impacted investing in any major way. It's more that I might've accidentally put in more money than

I thought I had, or I've put in less money than I thought I had. So then I can add in a bit more. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. And does that make, like, as you said, like you read your budget and for those of you playing along at home, Dyscalcular is where you literally look at numbers and they scramble and they make no sense. And it's not because you're not smart. It's literally, they flip around in front of you and it's your eyes basically playing tricks on you. So a million dollars could look like a thousand dollars. How do you then identify in your budget what's wrong? Like, do you go, oh my God, like, how do I, how do I work this out? Because that could be really confusing. Yeah. It's taken me a long time to kind of get my budget to somewhere

where it's automated and I don't have to worry about it, but it took a long time setting it up, double checking that like I've put in my bills correctly, double checking that like I've got enough amount of money for food. And so once I double checked everything and I got it to a point where it was fine, it's just automated. Like everything just tracks and I don't need to worry about the numbers. I love automation for ADHD, but also for this, like it's probably like doubling down on being beneficial for you. How do you manage it? And I'm just so pervy on this because like, I have ADHD as well and I can be impulsive, but I also feel like I'm now good at managing my budget. But when your budget is challenging and you have ADHD, how does that play out?

So I've learned that I am very impulsive and I get a lot of dopamine from spending money. So trying to not do that is the worst thing possible. So now I have a line item in my budget called dopamine fund, and that is money that I can spend freely on anything that my brain is like, I kind of want that one. Oh, I kind of want that. I say that I feel spendy. I'm like, oh, I feel spendy today. And I like talking about it because I'm like, if I talk about it, maybe we can talk me out of this. But that's genius having a line item that is like, okay, so on the days that I'm feeling spendy, I'm not actually going to ruin my financial plan. How good. Queen, I love that. Talk to me about debt. It took you a while to

get into a position where you could take on a mortgage solo. What does that mortgage look like? How much did you purchase that house for? What is it worth now? Give me all the nitty gritty. Yeah. So originally the house was purchased for $475,000. Then with the deposit, it brought it down to $420,000. And then I had to add $50,000 to that. So then I could own it on my own. So it's now at $472,000. But over the past two years, since this all happened, apartments have just increased in price and it's now worth $650,000. Stop it. You're sitting on such nice equity. Yeah. And I mean, it's not nice to have to pay your ex out. No one wants to give your ex money. I don't even want him to have that money. Do you know what? I hope he blew it all. I hope he

doesn't benefit from it. But the fact that you got to keep the asset that increased in value and he got none of that pie, iconic. Ah, I literally love that for you so much. so tell me about mortgage stress like what does that look like obviously you've now been approved for a mortgage but you said look v i've got three sources of income to make sure that i can service this mortgage is that something that eats away at like 50 of your budget or like what does that look like so it's about 40 of my full-time income so it is a bit stressful but having the tutoring which I can take on more if I need a bit more money or do a bit less if I don't and then also having the income my bestie pays me for the spare room also helps so I know that like it's always

going to be paid and it's always the first thing I pay so then I don't accidentally spend that money with my ADHD so it's stressful but I know that it will get better yeah 100% and as your income increases over time you'll be absolutely fine it's just really stressful like especially when you first get your mortgage, I feel like the first 12 months of being completely responsible for a mortgage, they're the worst 12 months. Cause like you've got to work out what that actually looks like. And I think that it's so easy to do a budget at the start and they might go, babe, it's three and a half thousand dollars a month or whatever it is. And then you go, great, that math maths. But then there's all the additional costs around owning a house that maybe

didn't come with renting. And then you're like, wait, what do you mean? And you won't have land tax but like if you owned a standalone home you might be slammed with land tax and you're like wait I didn't I didn't plan for this and you're just budget it's in a pickle for 12 months while you go through the teething process of working out what's going on do you have to pay body corporate and stuff with your property yeah and that was again like I didn't know anything about home ownership when I bought this place it was just he said he wanted an apartment so I was like fine we have the money like this is for our future so all good jumped head in first and then yeah I found out you know we have to pay water rates because where I live owners have to pay the water supply

and usage then obviously the electricity supply as well you I have to pay my council rates I have to pay my strata fees and then yeah the mortgage itself so it's all these extra costs I didn't even know was the thing until I owned a house and then maintenance as well like I have to get some of my taps change because they're leaking. And I was like, this is so expensive. I know. And you can't just call your landlord and be like, hey, the tap doesn't work. And then it magically gets fixed. What do you mean? I have to pick the tap, buy the tap, get a plumber to install the tap and then follow the plumber up if the tap still leaks. What do you mean? That's too much responsibility and money. And let alone anything else. You're like, if that air conditioner

breaks, I will riot. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I totally get it. But I do feel like the first 12 months and I always like warn my clients. I'm like, it's not just the mortgage repayment queen. It is all of the other stuff that comes along with owning it. And then, yeah, it's just a lot, but it sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on it. Talk to me about your best money habit. What do you think that is? I think really my best money habit has come from understanding my ADHD. So understanding that like my money will slip away because I just want to spend it to make me happy. so I think yeah having that dopamine fund is really my best habit is because I can spend but I'm not sacrificing any of my other goals for it and I mean you're still investing and you still

have your mortgage and you've got a good super and you said before that your bestie is in a relationship with a financial advisor so that benefits you because you know that that's just ticking along well I feel like you're in a pretty good position flip the narrative for a hot second know. What's your worst money habit? My cats. I will buy them the best things of everything without even thinking about it. Like I bought them a $2,000 scratching tower because I was like, oh, they'll really like it. You what? I can't even justify that. Can you please send me the link? I need to know what it looks like. It's not attractive, but it's so, it's like twice as tall as I am. Is it like functional? Like, do they like it? Did you spend two grand and then

your cat was like, I actually prefer a cardboard box like mine would, or do they like their scratching post? They've done it before where I've spent a lot of money on them and then they've hated it. But I found the trick is all of my cats react to catnip. So if I spray catnip on it, they will follow the catnip up and now they associate it with them and they use it. I love that. I recently bought my cat a new bed and this morning I found him sleeping on it on a wet bath mat in the bathroom. Usual story. Yeah. Yeah. But that's Burmese for you. They're just a bit how you're going and that's why you can't let them out. I know you're not meant to let cats out in general, but mine absolutely couldn't go out because they would lay on the

road when it was warm. So just one out of 10 for cat ownership, but I fully understand spending too much on them because I'm like, no, they're my babies. They deserve it. Exactly. And you know what I actually think is so funny about pet ownership is that before I had kids and when I announced that I was pregnant with Harvey, people were like, oh my gosh, your cats are going to take a sideline. Like, you know, they're not going to be as important to you. They're just as important. What are you talking about? Like they are still my children. I now just have two cats, a dog and a child, and those are my children. Exactly. So nothing changes. So you think it might get a little less spendy if you decide to have kids. It doesn't. I'm so sorry

to ruin that for you. It's for the best. Money Dose, at the start of this episode, I asked you what your money grade was. And you said, I'm going to give myself a C plus. And okay, no worries. I already told you that I was probably going to try and fight you because you're an icon. You've got a PhD thesis. You've got a $30,000 pay rise. You now run your own mortgage. You've paid out this douchebag of a partner that you had. You do tutoring on the side. You're renting out one of your rooms. I feel like you are doing the most. You're also investing. Like, sorry, for someone with ADHD and dyscalculia to then be like okay I'm going to get into investing and get into ETFs that could have been a world that was way too overwhelming and something you're like you know

what that's just not for me I'm going to focus really hard on just this mortgage stuff and like you know budget sorry you're running rings around so many people and doing a really good job of it what would an A look like in your mind if you think you're in a C plus yeah I think it's because I'm still quite at the beginning of that mortgage journey. I don't feel 100% set on it. And then I also don't have an emergency fund. So if something were to happen to the apartment or something happened to my cats, then I would have to go into debt for it at this point. So I don't feel confident to be able to just bounce back from anything easily right now. So I think in order to increase my grade, I'd need to be comfortable and feel safe. Okay. I'm not going to argue that.

I feel like that's a really good justification. And you know what? Once you start on your financial literacy journey and you start to get a really good handle of what's going on and how it's working, you do start to feel very naked without an emergency fund. You go, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm in a bit of like, I'm in a risky position here. I don't really like that. So I can resonate with that. I would argue that your money habits though, closer to an A. Maybe you don't feel that way because we feel a little bit naked but I think you're doing pretty bloody well and I'm very very proud of you and I'm just so excited that I got to hang out with you got to meet you got to have a chat and got to share your journey with the community so thank you so much

for joining us and I wish we had more time thank you so much for having me it's been an honor oh don't be silly right back at you my love the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs victoria divine and she's on the money are authorized representatives of money sherpa pty ltd abn 321-649-27708 afsl 451-289