She's On The Money - How I've Made It Work as a Single Mum by Choice

Episode Date: October 27, 2024

Being a single mother by choice is a bold decision, and today’s money diarist shows us what it really takes to make it work. She’s diving into the realities of funding IVF, managing childcare costs, and building financial security—all on her own terms... and one income. This episode is raw, real, and full of insights for anyone wondering if they can do the same. For a cheeky discount on our Money Masterclass head over here and pop in the code PODCAST. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom welcome back to another one of our money diaries where we get to talk with one of our incredible She's On The Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Dear She's On The Money, growing up I thought I was terrible with maths and money, but my financial journey has been one of growth and learning. Now, as a proud single mum by choice, having my 18 month old son through IVF with a donor, as well as a beautiful fur baby cat, I'm navigating the challenges of solo parenting and the rising cost of living. And despite feeling financially

vulnerable at times, I've built strong systems to keep us on track. It's not easy, but I'm proof that you can have kids on your own and make it work. Money, Darius, this is the coolest story ever. Thank you. This is so exciting. I just love the idea that you're like, no, no, no, I want to be a mom and it's going to happen. I have so many questions, but before we get there, If I asked you to give your money habits a grade from A through to F, what would you grade them? You know, it's interesting. I've really thought about this because I often find myself disagreeing with the other money diarists on the podcast. And I think as a human, we're so hard on ourselves. I know.

We have such high expectations. And so I thought, you know what, there's actually a real clear difference to where I feel I sit and to where I think I sit if I take emotion out of it. so I feel like a C I feel like I feel financially vulnerable right now but when I look at the bigger picture and I look at things down on a piece of paper I think I'm probably more like a B yeah that's so nice that you're able to reflect on that yeah it's one of those things I think we feel so different but if you can take that emotion out and actually look at what you're doing there's actually you know so much there so we're going to give you the credit you're a B I love that. Money diarist. My favorite question to ask people is about their money story. So let's

dive in. Can you tell me a bit more about your money story? Sure. So growing up, I always felt like we didn't have much money. My parents immigrated to Australia and, you know, I had these memories of growing gross through shopping with my mom and her checking the price tags and buying things when they're on special. And I feel like I came from a household where if you lost your jumper or your hat you didn't get a new one you just went without it and so I think that's really impacted how I view my money now I'm always someone who's trying to save money even if it's just a little bit and I'm quite conscious of looking out for a good bargain and trying hard not to buy anything on full price although don't always succeed I totally get that in fact that's

triggered a memory for me actually when you said you lost your jumper or your hat like you don't get a new one like that I'm assuming for you it's maybe the same story like we're talking about school uniforms here yeah yes yeah like I remember my mom being like right well you won't be able to go outside and play because I'm not buying a new hat for you or did your mom do the thing where she'd be like right well you're gonna have to find it like go to school check the lost property ask the teacher you're gonna have to find your jumper because I'm not buying you a new one like we can't afford that that's not an option and why are school uniforms so expensive I know and you don't realize it at the time right of course not but now I look at it I'm like wait what and I

remember going to the second-hand uniform shop as well to buy all of our uniforms oh so did we and like genius from mum to be honest because like it's the same thing but that feeling of being like oh it's not you like oh I get it but it's good because it makes me feel I think I because of that quite conscious of money and you know always looking for second-hand items like you know, mum was a great role model in that respect, you know, learning from her. So it's been good. Obviously, once I started working and earning money, it's always great. You get your first time paycheck. It's exciting. But I've always worked in the not-for-profit sector. And so I'm not earning massive amounts of money. And so I've always been conscious of money and trying to

save where I can. And after university, I saved, I worked so hard and saved about 30k and went traveling for a year. Iconic. Which I think everybody should do in their lifetime. It's absolutely amazing thing to do. A whole year would have been so special. It was unreal. I mean, it was backpacking. It was. Okay. But like that doesn't change it. It's still so special. A hundred percent. And it's interesting because sometimes I go, oh God, 30K, wouldn't that be a great start for a house deposit? But I wouldn't take that traveling year away at all. Like it was just so special. I love that. So now where are you at? What does that look like? So after traveling and working, I kind of got into my mid thirties and on and off dating and not really

having much success in that department. And I kind of thought to myself, okay, when I get to 37, it's time to start thinking about freezing your rates. And so I started doing, I'm a person, I like to do a lot of research before I actually make my decision. I think you and I are on the same page and picking up similar vibes. I like this. I love this. So I, I kind of got to 37. and I was like oh I'm not sure yeah let's just do research and so I kind of went oh I don't know actually that freezing my eggs isn't the best option for me from my understanding you know it can be a great option to have especially in your younger years but the longer your eggs are frozen they're less viable they can become over time the de-thawing process can be hard on them

and unfertilized eggs are not necessarily as hardy as fertilized embryos so I kind of thought maybe that's not the best option for me right now let's just keep dating and seeing what happens and then I got to 38 and did you feel a lot of dating pressure were you just like oh I'm trying to find the right person and like this just isn't fitting like and I see so many people making decisions that I think I don't feel comfortable with where I don't you know if I marry someone I want to be absolutely 100% in love and I don't want to have that pressure of wanting to have kids so quickly putting that pressure on it yeah yeah so I got to 38 and I started looking at IVF with an anonymous donor and again I was like oh god this is such a big step a massive step so exciting

but also so terrifying like oh my gosh this could really happen I'd never dreamt of doing it on my own my dream was to do it with somebody else of course you know as a little kid that's what you want. That's the dream. So it was quite a bit of a shift in my mindset to start thinking along this pathway. But I just thought, you know what, let's just make an appointment with a fertility specialist and go down that pathway. You can always say no. You can always say no later. A hundred. I'm just gathering information. That's all I'm doing at this point, right? It's one step at a time. And I actually made appointments to fertility specialists based on recommendations, which I actually would recommend because the first person I saw I did not like and it was

someone that everyone had raved about. Isn't that frustrating when you're like why does everybody like this? I know but it's good because then it's like you know what it's such a personal thing you want to be able to ask those silly and dumb questions and feel like the specialist has the time for you to do that. 100%. And so after that then I just kind of started you know meeting with the specialist and she'd send me to do some tests like a blood test nothing too crazy and it kind of just the more I was in it and thinking about it the more it just felt more comfortable and more the right thing for me to do and you were like I'm on this path I was just looking at the path but I just woke up and I think I'm actually on the path yeah like I'm halfway down it and

I actually don't want to turn around it's good I went yeah I'm doing it oh that's so exciting I had been saving, right? So like it wasn't, and I knew IVF was expensive. So the whole time I'm meeting with the specialist, it's not like really quick, you know, there might be a month or two apart. So I'm like going, okay, I need to hit, go into my hardcore savings goal and, and start really saving because it is expensive. So I was doing all of that knowing that, you know, there's sure anyone who's gone through IVF knows, but there's a little bit of hidden costs. Sometimes you might get a cost. It might tell you how much it is, but then there's all these other things and if there's anything unexpected that pops up well then that's an additional cost

and medicine costs more and you know so there's all these extra little things you have to pay for but yeah so then I I started they they sent me paperwork I did all the work and then they sent me profiles for anonymous donors oh I was about to ask okay so how do you pick an anonymous donor because like I am so pervy like girl I need to know like do you get to go like shopping for your baby daddy like what does that look like yeah absolutely so you can go down in Australia to well I guess it's different maybe each state is as well different I'm in New South Wales but in Australia you've got two options you can go an international route so there's American donors and there are lots of them so Americans get paid to donate so there's often lots of options yeah

Yeah. And are you allowed to use that in Australia? You can. Yeah. So Australian clinics have access to the database in America. And so you can get all this information about the donors. Obviously no identifying information. It's all anonymous. Yeah, of course. I had no idea. Like I genuinely just thought, okay, like we're an island in the middle of nowhere. Surely we would only have access to Australian donors. And like you hear so much about like, I don't know, I hear so much about like surrogacy journeys because you obviously can't pay a surrogate in australia but can in america anyway it's a very complex space so i just assumed that maybe you couldn't access american donors how interesting yeah and there's

a lot of choice if you go down that pathway it's a little bit more expensive because obviously you have to pay for the transportation to australia what type of cost is that do you know i can't remember because i didn't go down this pathway it would be a couple hundred i think maybe or even in the thousand i can't quite remember but it's not like tens of thousands of dollars to go down that route no yeah so I went down the Australian donor route which is far less options because in Australia to donate your eggs or sperm it is all altruistic so you don't get anything in return there's something that I like about that though and you mentioned before we haven't gotten super into it but like you mentioned before I work for non-profits I'm happy to earn less money because

I just feel like that fits your vibe more right yeah I don't know it just felt more comfortable for me I like the idea that they wanted that for you not for financial gain for them that's so kind yeah I get it I get it yeah absolutely so yeah but I had like there was five options so in America there'd be I think on the database there can be like a hundred or so which also I think can be overwhelming analysis paralysis is like investing like how do you pick an ETF how do you pick a sperm donor like same right so I wanted my baby to look like me so I went with the same ethnicity as a way of breaking it down totally and then from there it was really the health information that you get that was important to me. You actually get the health of the person donating

their immediate family as well. Oh, that's so perfect. So any type of illnesses or conditions that they have is kind of listed, which is really interesting. Also so controlled. So many people don't even get that with the person that they literally have picked to have a child with. They're like, oh, let's just have a baby. And then later they're like, oh, I didn't know you had health conditions. well I've got nothing else to go on and so I was like for me that's the important thing and then all the other information like me you can get basic information like hair color eye color there's some self-reporting stuff like how would people describe you but I was very conscious that

with self-reporting you know how you describe yourself might be very different to how other people describe you so I was like no medical let's go on the medical and let's then just see the vibe of the rest of them and that just helped me narrow it down and I picked my my donor oh that is so cool I love this what's the next step in the process so you pick your donor you have to go through an IVF process like yeah it actually all up took me a year to go through this whole process but that was a lot just with me and me taking my time to go through everything and keep saving money you can actually go through it much quicker if the donor is available now since COVID it might be tricky because there's less donor recruitment since COVID I think yeah okay and

when you say the year is that from you starting the journey to falling pregnant or is that you starting the journey to having a baby falling pregnant my first appointment was in January and then I decided to officially start the whole IVF process the following January yeah cool oh my gosh. So I had a whole year of like doing tests and seeing where everything is and picking the donor and saving my money. And then also an important consideration, which I'm sure anyone who has gone through IVF would know, but when you are looking at your funds, it's so expensive. And I had to really sit with myself and go, okay, how many rounds can I do? Because, you know, I'm going through IVF, not because I think I have fertility issues, but because that's how I'm going

to get pregnant. Yeah. 100%. And I can see how if you go through this process and it's not successful, you go, okay, well, I'm going to try again, but it's good to have kind of a cap in mind of how much money you have available for this, because you could get yourself into debt so easily just keeping on going and going and going. It's one of those things that is quite interesting as well, because as women, we've spent a majority of our lives trying not to get pregnant. And then all of a sudden you're going down this route of IVF and it's not because you were struggling to fall pregnant. It was because that's the route that you've decided to take. And you're like, well, I don't know if it's going to be a one and done situation or if I'm going to go through this

process and my body doesn't want to do this with me in the way that I want to do it with it. So it's just, that would be really stressful when it comes to finances. So how much did it cost you? So I ended up having to do two egg collections and I was very lucky. My first transfer worked. Oh, I got a sticky baby from the start. That's so special. It's very good. So all up, it cost me about $35,000.

I did get some back from Medicare and I think I was out of pocket about $23,000. Hey, that's pretty good. and that's a lot and I won't say cheaper because it's still a lot of money but it's not as bad as I thought it would be I don't know why but I just thought it would be way more expensive because like the egg collection rounds like in Australia can be anywhere from six thousand to ten thousand dollars a round like that's quite expensive and then you do get some of that Medicare rebate back yeah and that's important so then once you've done your egg collections then is it the fertility clinic that you did the egg collections that managed the donor sperm and kind of

made a little embryo? Absolutely. Yes. It's all in-house, which makes it easier. Oh, and then they made you a little M baby and then you had a transfer day and got your little M baby and then they were sticky. And then you have an anxious two-week wait while you're like, oh my gosh, analyzing everything in your body. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm sure that you were stressed out of your brain. One, because that's stressful process irrespective of the financials right like that's so scary because the second you have it transferred you're like well I'm pregnant until proven otherwise aren't I and then you're trying not to stress because you know what stress does to the body but it's so hard not to oh I'm

so glad that it worked the first round for you I know I was very lucky that first transfer because you can hear it can take a while and the other thing I was going to say obviously being doing this on my own I have to go through a private clinic but now if you are in a couple or you have a known donor you can actually do it through the public system and it will only cost you one thousand dollars what it's a massive massive difference oh my god I mean I'm glad that you got the care and that you were able to kind of like shop around and get the fertility expert that you felt super comfortable like and I mean that's the cost of private health care right like that's the benefit but at the same time like knowing that that's so much more financially viable

Oh, I love that. I know it's a little bit of a sting, but at the end of the day, I have a beautiful little baby, so I can't complain. Oh, I'm so excited. I adore that for you. So I need to know more because this episode, I think, is such a good lesson for a lot of people in our community that you can actually have kids on your own and make it work. So I need to know more about this situation.

Like a lot of people might go, I need to earn millions to be able to do that on my own. But what do you do for work? How much money do you earn? So I work in the not-for-profit sector and I work with young people who live in residential care. Essentially, that just means that they don't live at home with their parents. And I work part-time at the moment. Is that because you have a baby? Yeah, that's what I do.

I was working full-time. So full-time I was earning about, I think it was $98,000 and part-time now I'm earning $65,000. Oh, okay. That's very nice. So you've gone from 98K to 65K. I have to ask all the pervy stuff. I'm so sorry. So 65K, how many days a week are you doing? Three days. So three days. And then you're single, so it's not like there's somebody at home looking after baby. What does care look like? So he goes into daycare three days a week.

Yeah. Very cool. And what type of cost does that mean for you? It is expensive. The daycare itself is about $180 a day. Oh my gosh, it's insane, isn't it? Crazy, but obviously, thank God I get a subsidy. And so I actually pay about, I think it's 45 a day. Oh, okay. So like 45 bucks a day, it comes out in the wash. We did an episode recently on daycare and like what it costs, because I think one thing

that people don't realize is that you pay out of pocket and then you get a rebate as opposed to, you know, it just being 45 bucks a day, which a lot of people are like, oh, that's reasonable. But you actually have to have that $180 in your bank account to pay in advance, which is really ick to me I know I know has that changed how you've managed your cash flow you know what I think it probably hasn't I think it's so I use credit cards to help me with my cash flow and I'm a big points gal so I like to maximize as many points as I can the last couple of international trips I've done have all been on points so it really works for me I don't think I would be

able to travel otherwise, if I'm being honest, because it is tough now with the little one and he's about to turn two in a couple of months. So now I'm going to have to start paying for him. Well, you're about to run out of free travel for him. I know. So that's a big thing. Sorry to remind you. Under two, they travel for free. I just booked a flight. We're going away next year. And I booked us all on points. So I was like, thank God for points because that really does help me. I put all of my big stuff on credit cards but I at the start of the year it's the first time I heard credit cards for like you know

10-15 years and because I have gone from full-time to part-time work at the start of the year it was just after I have a whole bunch of bills at the end of the year like all my car rego and insurance in Christmas and so normally I'm fine when I'm working full-time but this is the first year I'm working part-time and I got the first four months of the year were really scary for me because I could not pay off my credit card balance in full which is normally something that I can do and so I was starting to go oh my god okay I'm not managing my cash flow very well something is happening I'm spending more than I'm earning which I don't normally do what's happening and I kind of had to really re-look at it because I think when I was saving up for IVF I was so good

I had that money goal so I knew what I was saving for as I was working through that year and I already had some money saved away. But after IVF, I utilized a lot of my funds and I also bought a brand new car because A, baby, my old car was very, very old and I didn't want to break down on the side of the road and it was in COVID and all the secondhand cars were so stupidly expensive. Oh, they were. Yeah. So I bought a brand new car, which is not my intention, but I did it. But also at that time that made the most sense financially, genuinely. Absolutely. And I paid it out in full because I had saved that much money.

Iconic. Sorry, that's iconic. I was thinking about taking out a loan but then I just looked at the interest I would eventually pay back on it and I thought oh no I've got the money I think I should do this but then it's just left me feeling a bit more vulnerable because I decimated my savings and I don't have that fallback anymore and I had an emergency fund but when I the start of the year when I couldn't pay back my credit cards I used all my emergency fund and it wasn't enough because I was still building it up and so I just put myself in a really funny place where I felt very very scared and just a little bit anxious about my financial situation I guess. I'm really proud

of the reflection you're doing on this though like you were so aware throughout all of that that's really cool like a lot of people would have buried their head in the sand but you're like nope I'm gonna make it work this is what I'm gonna do this is how I'm gonna do it like so many people get to that point and it's kind of like a fork in the road and they can either do what you did and like take charge of it and go this is actually a really scary position to be in and I don't really want to be here and I'm going to do something about it or people go down the other fork and they bury their heads in the sand and be like all right well I'm just going to ignore the credit card for a couple of months and I'm just going to keep building my emergency fund and keep on track

and that actually puts you further behind and so I love the way you're talking about it as well because it's just, it feels so open. Yeah. Like I do for me, you know, there's obviously a lot of issues with credit cards, but I normally felt that, you know, I was able to keep on top of it as long as I could pay it off each month. And it just, that first instance where I couldn't do it for a couple of months really freaked me out. I can see how you can easily end up in debt that way. Spiraling, right? A hundred percent. Yeah. And it's so easy to do. And I mean, no one gets a credit card with the intention of getting into debt and staying in debt. Like you get a credit card to help with cash flow or to help you build something and I think that it's

just so important to just stay stay woke I suppose stay aware of what's going on it's because I go for the cards that have points they're often the cards that also have a higher interest rate which doesn't normally impact me because I pay my credit off but when you don't yeah you're like oh no so money does tell me a bit more you obviously had the big money goal of saving up and paying for IVF, and then you got a car. What are your big money goals now? What are we currently working towards? You know what? I think this is probably one of my big issues now is I had such a big savings goal. And then when my little boy came along, that just felt like such a big achievement for me. And I was working part-time. Well,

I wasn't working for a while and then went back to working part-time. And I don't think I really replaced it with another goal and I do think that has really impacted my savings like how on top of it I am yeah I just and then COVID you know all of these different things all the cost of living stuff I just feel like it's kind of just put me in a place where I felt like I was on such a high I'm on the roller coaster you know and I'm kind of you know a hundred percent but you're also not giving yourself credit you've gone from earning 98 grand to 65,000 and yes there's like a beautiful trade-off here where you're getting to work part-time but like there's less cash coming in the door like there's less that you can actually do it is and everything's gone expensive I think

yeah you know when I think about maybe what I was spending on groceries before it is 100% doubled if not more a two-year-old eats a lot of berries I think I need to really think about what goal I want to have because that does make it a difference for when you have that in your mindset and you can work towards it. The motivation, a hundred percent. And you can easily compromise. Like if it comes to spending, you know, $50 on something, you're like, no, I really, I'm going to have a baby. Like I don't even need it. And now you're kind of like, what am I working towards? I don't know. May as well spend the 50. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I totally get it. And if you've got a plan to get it back on track, like are you going to

sit down and maybe visualize what's going on? Or is that something that you're like, oh, it'll come up when it comes up, V. When I was saving before, I used to use Pocketbook. Do you know the app Pocketbook? Yeah, 100%. And that was so helpful because I could categorize everything and I was tracking my spend because I had that goal in mind. So I was like, yeah, I'm on this. And then after I had my baby and Pocketbook ended, it stopped. And so you can't use that. Yeah, I was really disappointed. It was such a good app. I loved it. And I think since then I haven't been as good at tracking my spend. I'm conscious about my money. I'm not spending it willy nilly, but I couldn't tell you exactly now how much money I'm spending

on my groceries or my petrol each month. And I think that's something I now need to go and revisit. Yeah, no, that makes absolute sense. And it's kind of good that you're in that limbo because I feel like that's really relatable. I want you to get out of it. But like lots of people will be like, oh my God, I know me too. Like I just don't know what I want. Do I want to buy property? Do I want to go on a big holiday? I just don't know. Property is of course a goal, but it just seems so out of reach for me. Life is currently a season, right? Like and having a small child. It's a funny period of your life, right? Because it's such a privilege to have a small kid, but they're so bloody expensive and you're in that limbo of paying daycare and

paying for everything and life is going to get cheaper once they're at school. Yeah. And then it's probably going to get more expensive when he decides to get some expensive teenage hobbies and then maybe he wants to do after school care like activities and like life ebbs and flows right but I think that sometimes we need to just remember that these things are seasonal like right now daycare is actually not forever it's probably for another couple of years and then kinder is going to happen and things are going to get significantly cheaper I think I'm going to go back to work full-time next year anyway so that will help too so that's so exciting exactly so it ebbs and it flows and like our money goals have to flex with that because you can't go from earning

basically a hundred thousand dollars down to 65 and expect that you're able to allocate the same amounts to your savings goals but if you then let that feel disenchanting or you let that make you go, oh, I used to be so good at this. Like, can we look at the bigger picture for a hot second? Because you had like another 40 grand to play with during those years, my friend, like you had so much to play with. And also you didn't have the responsibility that you have now. Like there wasn't a tiny human demanding your attention. There wasn't a tiny human that needed you to spend double on your grocery bills. Like it was easier then. And there's a lot of reason for it. I mean, to be fair, he's in his fussy phase, so it's not like he's eating much anyway.

Oh, well, money win. Money win. I love that. I'm currently in that golden season where I have a seven month old who's only discovering food. So we'll eat anything that I've put in front of him. Yeah. That's a nice phase. Enjoy that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I'm acutely aware that this is going to change, but I am live, love laughing right now, my friend. I love it. I'm like, oh, mushrooms, you eat mushrooms, slay. Goodness. All right. Let's go to a really quick break on the flip side, I have a lot of questions, so guys don't go anywhere. Marnie Darius, we are back and I'm learning so much about how you have proven that you can have kids on your own and make it work, which I think is just so special. But I want to know,

have you thought about investing? What does that look like? Do you invest? If so, how? If not, do you have a plan? I do. Thank you to this podcast because... Oh, really? Absolutely. That's so special. I mean, of course, I've got superannuation, so that is always there. But definitely, you know, from listening to this podcast, it just made the world of investing seem possible and doable and something that wasn't to be feared.

I love that. Yeah. I started out small and I got myself a raise and a spaceship portfolio and I started playing around with those. and then I think they started to introduce fees. I remember when it was free. Yeah. You've been around a while, my friend.

You are proving yourself. I love this. And so when they did that, I thought, okay, I don't need both because they're doing the same purpose in my mind. And so I just kind of looked at them, thought which one's performing better and Spaceship was performing better for me. So then I just went all in on one. Went full in, yeah.

So I just transferred the money from Raise into, well, actually, so i kept spaceship and then i had the raise money and i thought well let's play around with a different platform just to see and so i got self-wealth because i figured that was a bit different but i have to be honest i don't love self-wealth so that's okay it is a bit more of a complex platform like it definitely doesn't have like if you're looking at and this is just like pragmatically not not advice not anything i always have to say that but like if you look at the user interfaces of raise and then spaceship they're just really easy to understand they're on your phone. They are apps. They make things very simple. Whereas self-wealth, one, it has like

investing minimum. So you have to have a minimum of $500 to join that platform, which is fine because that's actually quite normal for people who want that. But it is, I would say, a bit more of a techie platform. Like it has all of the research, it has all the information, but you can so see yourself making that big on the screen on your desktop and like a finance bro sitting in the front of it trading on it like it's definitely like a more serious investing platform it is you know I had the raise money and I just I think I had about maybe a thousand dollars or something and so I'd put it in there and then from playing around with that I was like I really don't like this platform I find it tricky to understand it's not user-friendly I don't think for me anyway

so I thought oh let's I'm hearing a lot about sharesies let's try shares oh no you didn't did you actually I do oh she's a convert yeah I have to say I love it so much better so now I actually need to transfer my, what I've got in self-wealth over to Sharesies because I much prefer it. It's easier to keep track of everything, just see what my money's doing. But it's true, right? And like, there's nothing wrong with self-wealth. There are going to be a lot of people listening to this and they're like, oh, I love that platform. And that's great. That's fantastic for you. But one of the things that is so important to remember when investing is that it has to be an experience that doesn't cause friction with the way that you work. Like it has to be an experience where you

find it really easy and really easy to understand and if that means having a platform that has a bit of a different interface or has a custom app that's why it's so important to not just go with the platform that's the cheapest but also the platform that makes the most sense for you because I can almost guarantee that your change to shares is not because they're a better platform I mean I'm obsessed with them but not because they're a better platform but because you're having a better experience you're going to invest more and you're going to create a more secure financial future whereas I'm assuming with a kid with things getting tricky you know your income dropping to 65 grand for the short paying you would have been like oh I can't be bothered with this whole

investing thing it's too complex it's too overwhelming I'm going to just put stop on that for now bury my head in the sand whereas doing something that works for you is so important so I think that's a good reminder if you're listening to this and going oh yeah I'm finding my like investing journey really frictiony we need to find something that works for you as opposed to just picking what other people are using. Yeah, 100%. I think that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to transfer the funds from Self Wealth into Sharesies because it's just makes no sense to me. Oh, I love that. So you're an investing queen inside and outside of SUPA. Have you thought about investing for your baby? I have. And actually, I really need to go back

to the Investing for Kids podcast because I keep thinking about it since I was pregnant with him. I was thinking about this and I haven't done anything, so I really don't need to. I was planning my investment plan for my kid way before he was even born, way before he even existed, way before I met his dad. Like now knowing what it can do, like investing this early on for him and I'm just conscious that if I'm a single person, if I don't ever meet someone and it's just me,

I want him to be able to get to 18 or 20 and have those funds available for university or whatever it might be. Oh, he's going to be so well set up. I love this so much for you. But yes, I just, I need to look in because obviously there's the tax implications there and I just need to look again and decide which pathway I want to go down. Yeah, of course. Have you thought about, I mean, he's two now, so he's not going to comprehend it just yet, but you, have you thought about how you're going to teach him about money? Yeah, that's a great question. I don't know that I have fully considered it or kind of thought

about how I'm going to do it but I definitely do want to make sure that he is educated and knows how to budget for things and is conscious of what money costs and I'm not quite sure you know there's so many different things out there people let the kids do chores and earn money or you know people set up little systems at home where the kid has to pay a little bit of rent with their pocket money there's so many ways to do it and I haven't found the one that works for you yeah I mean here's two you've got so much time your money story starts to form at seven you've got time you've got time but I always find it interesting right because I obviously think about it all the time and you know complete side note I obviously write books and I love writing books my fifth one is about to come

out which is insane to me but I've always said I want to write a book to teach people how to teach their kids about money but I don't want to do that until I'm a mum and I can go through that myself because nobody wants parenting advice from a non-parent. Like, let's be honest. Can you imagine some young pre, I'm now in my 30s, but pre-30-year-old going, this is how you should teach your kids about money. I don't have any kids.

I would have cancelled it. So I will at some point pull that together. But it's interesting because, you know, I obviously listen to your podcast and I know, you know, your father was in finance and gave you advice and you didn't listen. Why would I listen? What would he know?

what do parents know how you do it so that it sticks in there you know yeah and I think that that's where you know it's those unconscious narratives that we learn about money that you know even you were sharing with us at the start you were like you know there was no particular story that you gave us about learning about money from your parents but you were like but if I lost my hat it wasn't replaceable but if I lost my jumper I had to make do and I think that those are the things where we have such an opportunity to look at the broader way that we refer to purchasing items, the bigger story around it and how we want to craft that. Even the small things about the way we speak about money. Are we going to use conversational pieces like, oh honey,

I'm sorry, we can't afford that. Or are we going to say, well, actually that's just not in our budget right now, honey. And like, how do we frame things and what does that do to their internal monologue about money that helps us go, oh yeah, you know, someone might come on my podcast and go, we grew up really poor. Or they might come on my podcast and go, oh, my mom was so savvy growing up. Like there's just like this narrative that we can actually craft ourselves. So irrespective of whether we can invest with our kids or not, like we can actually form their money story and we can help them have a healthy relationship with it. And I think that there's such a misconception around, well, if I'm having kids, I need to give them pocket money and I just

don't have the budget for that. You don't need to give them money to teach them about it, which I think is so cool. But that's a side note because I'm just, as you know, wildly passionate about it. I'll be waiting for this book, Victoria. Oh, I'm writing it for people like you. So you wait. My friend, talk to me about debt. Do you have any debt? If so, what is it? No. So no major debt. The credit card got paid out. Yes, it did. It was a bit scary, but it did go. I do have money on it right now because I'm constantly using it, but I'd say I've probably got maybe a thousand dollars on it so I can pay that off next time I get paid

and I paid off my Hex debt about three years ago which is a beautiful thing to do okay must be nice that's a bit of a flex okay so I've got kids and no Hex debt nice yeah so that's good no major I love that tell me what do you think your best money habit is I think overall I'm just very conscious of my money so I don't tend to spend things necessarily and it's not to say that I won't buy a luxury item here or there or something that I really want but I definitely think most of the times before buying things I try not to buy things on full price if I can avoid I feel like there's always a sale or there's always a discount code or there's always marketplace. 100% and that's a very good mentality to have irrespective like that means you're always going to look for one.

Yeah. A hundred percent. Always. Even if it's food, like there's always like, you know, some type of code out there for something. A hundred percent. If it's not on sale at Coles, it's probably on sale at Woolies. Like we need to be smart about this. And if it's not on sale at either, we are going to Aldi. I mean, I do shop at Aldi mostly anyway. There you go. See? So yeah, I think that's probably my best money habit. Just being conscious. I am always on marketplace. I'm scouring. I'm a big believer in secondhand. before you mentioned, you know, things for babies are expensive. I've been so fortunate. So many of my friends, you know, had children before me and had given me so, so much. I have not had to buy

pretty much anything full price or at all. I adore that. Now I'm in that sphere. It's actually wild. One, how much baby stuff costs, but two, just how little you use it. And I think you've got a nearly two-year-old Harvey my son he's seven months old now and he is a tiny pudding so my friend Harvey is like 11 kilos at seven months he is massive um he's like on the 99th percentile I was gonna say my two-year-old isn't it well he's not quite two he's 12 and a half kilos there you go he is massive I actually look because I'm five two I look comical carrying my child now like he is just a tiny pudding but the amount of stuff that was only used for two or three months at the very beginning like and seeing I've got one of my girlfriends who's just let me

know that she's pregnant and I'm like oh my god so I've got a capsule for you I've got this I've got this otherwise it's just going to sit in storage I was like do you want the snoo I've got the snoo I'm like I'm just so excited that these things are going to get another use and I was like only thing I need you to do with it is make sure it comes back to me when I have another baby. Thank you. All good. I feel like you want your friends to have the things that you've got because you just know it's so expensive and you would have spent heaps of cash anyway, like even just to get there, but then food and then nabbies and then, you know, whether you breastfed or formula fed, I think there's this massive misconception that breastfeeding is somehow free,

like absolutely not like pumping, organizing the time, the energy, the effort. Like there's just so many hidden costs and I think it's just it's so nice when women rally around women and they're like oh babe no worries I've got a cop for you like oh the pressure that gets taken off yeah so that's that's probably yeah best money habit I think second hand is best oh is it bad that I wake up in the morning and one of the first things I check is marketplace just to see what's going on I know people give away so much stuff it's amazing I love it I did it last weekend actually I've been clearing out and you know when you just sometimes you're like I know I could sell this for money but at the moment I just need to get rid of it like we're about to renovate I just need to get

rid of it so I gave away a chair on Facebook and it was a she's on the money girl and she messaged me and she's like yeah I'd love it and then she's like hold on hold on hold on you are actually like Victoria right and I was like yes and I was like and I'm glad we're meeting here because this is very authentic to both of us I was like this is money when thread worthy like this absolutely that you getting a free chair should go on the money win thread but I adore it tell me we're talking good things what's your worst money habit look I think because I am so good every now and then I do go a little crazy we have to you have to let it out I will find myself on Sheen or Timu Timu is amazing but terrible slippery slow because everything individually seems so cheap and then

you just keep adding and adding and I'm I hate paying for postage so I will run that person I will always keep adding until I get free postage so but also you need to weigh it up is free postage worth the amount that you're now spending in crap you don't need 100% no I just need to delete the apps off my phone but every now and then I just get suckered in because I've been so good and then I end up with a whole bunch of stuff that I don't need I don't need it maybe I want it but I don't need it oh that's fair I feel like that's relatable though and especially now you can I can convince myself well it's for the baby and you know yeah a hundred percent and I mean it must be semi-liberating not having somebody else that you need to check with

like no no no I'm the captain here like I make all the decisions I don't even have to consult with somebody else yeah but no I do I need to be I think better at that and going back to tracking my money and getting a clearer of the year going okay now I'm part-time this is my income how much am I spending a month on groceries and petrol and all of those bits and pieces will give me that clarity to go, okay, you actually do have this much money to play with within your month. I can fix that for you. Actually, I'm going to gift you the She's on the Money Masterclass because I think you're going to love it because it is going to not only help you track that and split it up, it splits it up into what banking system you should use. So it says, this is the

bank account it goes into and this is how much each month or each fortnight goes in here. And this is what you're spending on food, fuel, and fun. And this is what you're spending on your child and this is your savings goal, I think it'll kick you into gear because it's also going to make you really think about those money goals. Because I know you said at the start, you're like, oh V, I've really got to sit down. I think this is going to be get your money goal together, get your cash flow together. And I think that you'll love it. So I'm going to gift that to you. Oh my God. Thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, don't be silly. Like it's a little thank you, I suppose, for doing a money story because I'm super grateful for it. But obviously you're listening to the show and

you're like I want that I'll put a cheeky little discount in the show notes for you but oh I think that that will really help you I think like you've touched all the points and I'm like hold on hold on this actually would solve this I can do that today I love that but this has been so good like I love that you've just been so smart like not just with finance but you're like actually this is a thing that I want in my life and I'm just going to go for it I don't need somebody else to validate that i don't need somebody else to wait for having a kid like it must have been a hard decision to make but now that you're a mom you're probably like best decision ever it is absolutely and i i will say like he my boy is so beautiful and he's such a good kid but the hard

days are hard you know because you are on 24 7 there is no break so it is really tricky but the good days are amazing and most of the days are good and the bad ones are fleeting like i know that it would be really tough but again it's a season of life and when you zoom out you're like that is worth it like it is it is I don't look back at all like you know I'm just so grateful for him and I think for anyone considering going down this pathway you know my biggest advice would just book an appointment and just get some information and see how you sit with that because as women we don't have sadly an endless time to be able to do it so we do have to think about it while we're in a certain age range, I guess. Isn't that, that's so sucky, but like,

it's so true. And I think that as much as we can like dance around it and be kind, like, unfortunately, if you get to an age, there's going to be a no turn back. Like you can't go back and make that decision later. So I love this. And I feel like it's probably in the grand scheme of things, taking a lot of pressure off you as well to find a partner so that now if you meet someone, you're like, it's not this pressure to have kids. I don't have that. Like, I just want to find the right person for me. And like, now they get a bonus friend. Exactly. Anything's possible. I love that. A hundred percent. Money nurse, I have adored this. I've learned so much and I feel like the community is going to love this episode. Honestly, probably more than I have, which is a

lot. So it has been a pleasure, but sadly that is all we have time for today. So, oh, thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey and being so open because i feel like i've adored it the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs victoria divine and she's on the money are authorized representatives of money sherpa pty ltd abn 321-649-27708 afsl 451-289

Thank you.