She's On The Money - How to Keep Up with Friends Without Falling Behind Financially

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

FOMO got you feeling broke? You’re not alone! This week, we’re diving into a DM about the aftermath of FOMO spending and how it can seriously mess with your budget. Jess is bringing your best money wins, Bec’s sharing her signature broke tips, and we’re unpacking a super juicy money dilemma on getting a mortgage when you work in the sex industry. You don’t want to miss this one! Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite day of the week today because we get the the team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, Mr. Scorici is going to be sharing our favorite money wins. Our co-host Beck is going to be sharing her favorite broke tips. And we're going to be helping to answer our cheeky money dilemma, which is all about navigating a mortgage when you're a sex worker. And something that you slid into our DMs about this week is the fallout of falling victim to FOMO spending, which I think everyone at this table can relate to, let's be honest. Been there. Been there, done that. My

friends, before we get there though, we have started reading out our favorite five-star reviews on the podcast. Bec, what was your favorite five-star review that you saw in our reviews this week? Cool. Okay. So this one comes from Nat. She says, honestly, love this potty. Has taught me so much about finance. Helped me build confidence when making financial decisions. and then the She's On The Money team. Honestly, I feel like girlfriends in your own circle of mates. We are your friends. Isn't that so sweet?

We are just friends who haven't met yet. Of course. That's really cute. Super cute. My one this week is from Fi who said, I've listened to almost every episode and I'm still loving it and learning new things every time. It has absolutely inspired me to make so many positive changes.

Over the years, the podcast has evolved and kept fresh. The current format is the perfect balance. I love the controversial opinions on topics and the differing viewpoints of the team. Especially Beck. More Beck airtime, please. Oh, my God. The host of the year, Beck. Oh, my God.

That has literally made my heart race. It has so sweet. It made it race. You are so cute today. Oh, my God. That's so cute. Nice little boost for your morning. Thank you so much.

You deserve a good day today, too. Thank you. I love it. All right. So I don't have a name for this one because the person who wrote in actually has a username that is binary code, which I really like. And I think what I'm going to do is translate that later, but I think they're trying to be sneaky. So here's the review. Are you ready? It's so cute. I started listening about a year ago and

within just one year, the main difference it made was the confidence in my ability to change my financial habits. I had a mental block and was avoiding the topic of finances because I'm used to being a smarty pants at everything else. Lol. I felt embarrassed that I had this gap in my knowledge and I thought it was just that I didn't have the brain for financial stuff. Boy, was I wrong. Because of the way V and the team have made this content so approachable and relatable, I've been able to self-reflect on my money story and improve my habits and now I'm in a financially secure and resilient place. I've even passed on the info to my teen nieces and nephews and they've been able to set themselves up so well right from the age of 15 when they

got their first jobs. You've done wonders for my whole family. The impact is just going to multiply. Now I mainly just listen because I like surrounding myself with positive energy and I love how you all interact and relate to each other. It's just so wholesome. Thank you for everything. That's really sweet. Beck, did you write that? Yes. I love it. I feel like it has been such a good week reading through all the positive reviews. Like making finance fun is literally my favorite thing ever. But you know what else is my favorite? The community, obviously. Like this community is literally only cool because of them. So Miss Jessica Ricci, when it comes to money wins and confessions, what are you bringing to the table?

Alrighty. First win this week I have comes from Sammy who said she canceled her subscription to the Flow app after the free trial had concluded and responded saying that it was out of her budget because it's about $120 a year. Yeah, it does get spino. Bit expensive. However, Flo came back and offered her an annual subscription for $20. No, they didn't. How good is that? Yeah. So that I feel like is incredible. And Flo's going to be like, why are you reading this on the podcast? We have this influx of people emailing us. Well, I mean, Flo. Money's money, isn't it? Flo, you're probably going to get some new clients out of this. Absolutely. I use Flo too. So I get it. I like it. There you go. Next, I've got a money win from Emily. It's a money

win and a good little FYI. Emily said she's been stocking up when period and general hygiene products are on half price sale from chemists and the supermarkets, how we've spoken about how they run on that annual cycle because the Share the Dignity drive is coming up, which is something that I know that we've all donated to before. If you don't know Share the Dignity, do you mind if I shout them out quickly? Of course I don't mind. If you don't know Share the Dignity are a great organization. They provide period and healthcare products to women who need it. Obviously, cost of living is hitting people really, really hard. The drive starts in November. So what Emily's done is she's getting in early, stockpiling half price and putting it aside so she can then

donate it once the drive starts. I know that we're all strapped for cash, but if you do want to contribute and you've got a little bit of extra room in your budget, maybe you want to spend your flybys points or your everyday rewards points on something. Your everyday rewards points would be perfect for that and when I was going through the Woolies checkout the other day I scanned my card and it was like do you want to use your 10% off on this purchase and I was like no I'm gonna save it for a bigger purchase but maybe that's when you save an extra 10% off yeah double down on the discount your self-control is really something it's like I'd be hitting immediately I don't want 10% off now when my like total is like $40 I want 10% off when I'm at the supermarket spending 180

bucks back yeah that's you've got to be you've got to be smart about this totally so a great little reminder and a very smart idea from our friend Emily. Next, I've got a money loss and a money win from Melissa. Money loss, her fridge carked it over the weekend, RIP. Oh, they're so expensive. I would have been so annoyed. And she lost all the food in the fridge and freezer. Had to spend 1.3k on a new one. She said money win though. Always asked for a deal. The worst they can say is no. They gave her an extra hundred bucks off because she asked them if they could. And they said yes. And then they got 10% back on the total price through a promotion. Oh my god, Money win and also like that hundred bucks that can go towards restocking your fridge.

Yeah, all the food that you lost. I hate to think about how much that food would have been worth as well because I don't know about you guys, but like if something's a little bit more expensive, like say we've bought steak and I'm like, oh, we haven't actually cooked that into the freezer. She goes immediately into the freezer. I'm going to freeze it. Like I don't want that stuff to go to waste because it's like a little bit more expensive. The broccoli that looks a little bit limp in my vegetable crisper, though,

that never makes it to the freezer. So I feel like my freezer, it's like the expensive part of my kitchen. I don't want that to go to waste. Honestly, there is also no worse smell than when. Oh, yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Don't worry, Bec. I'll make a mess.

Moving on, moving on. You're out. Next, I've got a money win from Penny, who said she went to her favourite bar with a friend. They got a glass of wine each. When they went to pay, the bartender said that somebody had anonymously donated 500 bucks towards a venue wide tab so they each got their glass of wine for free do you ever think isn't that kind of cute do you ever fantasize

about having enough money to be able to do that like pay you go to a coffee shop and say hey like for every service worker that comes in like pay for their coffee for the day we should do that we should that's my dream we should we should find a cafe that's local and do that for a day we're like coffee's are on she's on the money yeah i feel like that's so cool wouldn't that be so fun Yeah, I would love to just, like, look across the bar one day and be like, I'm going to pay for those girls' drinks for no reason. Literally, creepy men do that often. I'll pay for the car behind you.

Creepy men at the bar are like, I see you, Jessica. Totally. Tell her these drinks are me. Jessica's like, please send it back. Yeah, literally, I will not be accepting that, but thank you so much. Next, I've got a money win from Christy who said she saw VD's reel about the Accor special and she signed up four days before they went on a trip and they save 50% off their meals at the restaurant and they got two free drinks.

They also told the accommodation when they booked how excited that she was to be staying there because it was their anniversary and they got a bottle of bubbles on arrival. Oh my gosh, I love that. That's a mouthful. I love that. I'm about to go stay in Queensland. This is not sponsored by the way. This is just us talking about a good money win. I'm about to go stay in Queensland and I literally made sure like three times that I'd put my core membership in because I know that the place that we're staying in Queensland, there's like, it's a kind of a resort i'm gonna get 50 off my meals like i'm not missing out on that i'm gonna make sure that i have that i've not only entered it where they asked me do you have an accord membership what's the

number i was like yeah i have it but i also made sure i put it in the notes of my like booking because i was like don't miss this just like rock up with a shirt with the number yeah i'll like print my accord membership number and be like did you see this just in case just in case and i know people are gonna have questions if they've missed the reel so we did a blog post on it this week if you want more info on that. So go there. That bit maybe is sponsored, but my commentary is not, had no clue. Sorry, Accor. Absolutely. And then lastly this week, I have one more money loss turned money win again from Amy. She's lost her purse, which had her Opal card in it, which is I think the Sydney equivalent to a Mikey. And she said, spoiler alert,

I will claim it today from the depot because a kind hearted person gave it in, which is very lucky. Thank you to that person. That is so nice. She went to get a new Opal card and she was able to transfer the balance off of her old one. Oh, that's so good. Which was lucky because she had $130 on there. So that's why you should always register your money. Correct. So like always register your public transport cards

because if that's the case, you can cancel your old one and have the balance shifted over so you won't lose your cash. Also, funny side note, I was in Sydney this week speaking at South by Southwest with Jess. So exciting. How was that? Isn't that so cool? It was amazing.

It was really cool. Actually, Elite, and I got a notification on the plane as we were landing from my bank and it said, hey, did you know you can use your bank card for public transport now? So, like, in Sydney you don't need your Opal card, you can just type your bank card. So good. Yeah, but look at my bank, shoving it in my face.

You can only do this in New South Wales. Victoria hasn't caught up yet. Literally. I was like, that's so annoying because the other day I wanted to catch the tram but I couldn't find a Mikey because I don't usually catch the tram or the train. You've got an iPhone, don't you? Yeah.

Yeah. But you know what I mean? Like it was actually I walked, so it wasn't the end of the world and that's like the biggest first world problem ever. But I was like how much simpler would it be if I could just tap my Apple Pay? Yeah. Anyway. This one's got to catch up.

Come on, Mikey. Come on, Mikey. You can with Android. I just want to say, I just want to put that out there. You can with Android anyway. It must be nice. It must be nice. I'm shocked.

But I live in the cult that is the Apple Unisphere. Yeah. So anyway, tell me what broke tips have you got for us this week, Beth? Yes. Okay, so this first one comes from Kiza. I love that. Kiza? I know that's probably good.

Sounds like a mate of yours. Yeah, it does very much sound like. Kiza's at the pub. Yeah, Kiza's is right now waiting for me, so I'd better make this quick. So Kiza says, join bunch. This is through Woolworths. So I did Google it because this one came in very, very recently, right before we started.

She's fresh. She's fresh. And so I Googled it. It looks like it's like taste testing, free food, free treats through Woolworths. You have to join, though. And when I Googled it, it did say the right capacity. So just keep an eye on it. Keep checking.

Do try and join. I feel like there are other ways. You can maybe just like email them and maybe go on a wait list. Surely there's something like that. Kohl's have an equivalent, too. I think it's called Kohl's Circle. Okay. That's great to know.

Kohl's Circle. Hello. We would like some free stuff. Thank you. Yeah, please. So I think that's a great one if you just want some, you know. I will taste test a lot of things. Absolutely.

Do you want to try it? Yes, I do. Absolutely. The little bits of scroll at the bakery, I'm taste testing. Absolutely. Tim Tams, they might be handing out at South by Southwest. I'll take 20. I have some Tim Tams for you, by the way.

Oh, my God. Thank you. I love a Tim Tam. So Tim Tam was a major sponsor of South by Southwest. Thank you, Tim Tam. Arnott, we love you, but we did make it our personal mission because, you know, when you go to a conference and then give you a canvas tote to collect all of your loot.

My favourite. Well, we made it our personal mission to see how many individually wrapped Tim Tams we could fit in Jessica's bag. Oh, and how many did you get in there? But it wasn't like we went up once and shoveled them in. Every time we saw someone because there were lots of people like all over the conference that had the stands. Yeah, we didn't just go tip it.

That's no fun. Like you can't just go and tip a whole heap of Tim Tams in your bag and be like, ha, ha, ha, we could fit this many. It's awkward if someone catches you. Yeah, and we also had to wait until we were offered a Tim Tam. Yeah. So, like, they'd be like, do you want a Tim Tam? And we'd be like, oh, what a coincidence.

We'd love a Tim Tam. And then they'd hand us a Tim Tam and I'd, like, sneak it into Jess's bag and then we'd, like, ha, ha, ha, run away and then go find another person. And then they'd be like, Tim Tam? And you'd be like, wow, I have not been asked yet. Thank you so much. I would love a Tim Tam. And then there was this one girl who I think cottoned on to us

that was kind of near the entrance that we kept going in and out and she would look at us and be like, Tim Tam? And we'd be like, yep. She knew. She knew. She was a girl's girl. She respected the hustle, I think. I love that.

She also saw us filming, putting the Tim Tams into Jess's bag. I thought she thought it was funny. But she didn't see, nor hear, nor say. She's blind. She's blind. Heard, saw nothing. She was an icon. We can't remember what she looked like.

We can't remember what gate she was on. Arnott's, don't ask. We will not tell you. But then when we got to the airport, our flight was delayed. So Jess sat on the ground and we tipped all the Tim Tams over her. Oh, and how many did you collect? We got like 20-something Tim Tams, which is crazy considering we're collecting those one by one.

Individually. Now that's dedication. Thank you. That was a good broke tip. Thank you from Kizza. I mean, thank you to Kizza. Thank you, Kizza, but also take free stuff from conferences. Yes, absolutely.

That is actually a really good one. Okay, this next one comes from Ben who says, go to, this is like a Melbourne thing, but I'm sure there are equivalents in other states and cities. Go to Richmond Common Home, which is close to here. What's that? I had never heard of it. It looks like a cafe.

I did Google it. It looks like just like your standard cafe bakery. Take the bread home. So I haven't been there personally. This is also a freshie, so I haven't had time to go and check to see if that's. But also like. What do they mean take the bread home? Like from the table?

This is what I'm yet to fact check. So like I do often go to a cafe and purchase bread and then I take it home, but I have to purchase it and there's no broke tip there. No. So that's just an exchange of money for goods and services. Yes, it is a very regular. That is actually a transaction. But from what I can tell, this is like free bread.

And the fact that it's common home, I'm thinking like maybe they're giving out free bread. Is that like after it's like done trading, like all the bread that they have after lunch while they're like shutting up shop or something? He didn't specify. But I will say that if you do go to like a bakery or a cafe, I was sitting in a bakery with my girlfriend the other day. Maybe she's going to look really cute. Have you got a girlfriend? I do have a girlfriend. and they were like...

Oh, we wouldn't know. No. I'm so humble now. I've never heard of it. I've never thought about it. But they were just like, do you guys want some free bread? Take as many loaves as you like. We're about to close the door.

Oh, that's so lovely. So whether or not Richmond... Hold on, how many loaves of breads did you take? We actually only took two because we were... That's respectful. But we really wanted to take all of them. Yeah. That would have been me.

I would have been like, thanks. No, I'm good. I just want one. And in the back of my head, I'm like, I wanted 50. Yeah, seriously. Getting my canvas tote bag. So whether or not Richmond Common Home do free bread daily, like every single day, all day, every day,

honestly go to your local bakery when they're closing up and be like, hey, what are you throwing out today and can I take some? Love it. How good's that? I love that. And what's your broke tip? Okay, my one is we have mentioned before kind of like in the similar vein where try and YouTube your car problems, see if you can fix them yourself.

Have you been watching my videos on Instagram and now you're using that as your broke tip? Okay, this is, I'm really, I'm digging myself a hole because I'm saying I haven't watched your Instagram and I'm really sorry about that. It's very funny. And I think that everyone in our She's On The Money community will probably understand this, but you guys hear my voice 24 seven. At this point, I probably would have blocked me on TikTok, on Instagram. Like Jess doesn't need more of me. She hears me on the pod. So like she hears me on the pod, then she hears me in the office, then she hears me on Teams, then she sees me on Slack. She does

not need more. And then I slide into her DMs on Instagram and I'm like, did you see this? I think I'm going to strictly voice memos so that she can still hear your voice. Oh, mate, we are on TikTok at 11pm DMing each other. So if anybody else is on that side of TikTok, we're with you. Yeah, big time. I'll get there. Especially now that you mentioned it, my phone's listening. Yeah, good. Yes. So I haven't seen it, but I wonder if it's close to or similar to what it looks like.

You're YouTubing what? So right now I obviously, as you guys know, I don't have a back window because someone broke into my car months ago. What is your back window made of? Currently duct tape. It's duct tape at the moment. Yeah, that's nice. What can't it do? Honestly, what can't it do?

Seriously, what can't it do? That was another broke tip my cousin duct taped her vacuum and she has to vacuum on an angle now, but it really works. But anyway, that's another thing. Duct tape does fix a lot of things. But anyway, my window is broken. My clutch is slipping. and you don't even know. Like if you Google the most niche and specific thing,

YouTube will have the answer. So I've been quoted between $1,500 and $2,000 to replace my clutch. Ew. But I bought a clutch kit for $150. Oh, amazing. And it is quite laborious. Pop-off mechanic queen. Yeah, thank you so much.

And I Googled 2004 five-speed manual and this exact thing. It came up. It came up, exactly how to fix it. it's quite laborious. So if I had the money, I would absolutely get someone to pay because it's not like I'm being ripped off or anything. I totally understand why it costs so much. No, but it's just a very expensive thing to do. Yes. You're going to give it a hot crack.

I'm going to give it a crack. And basically my broke tip is that I implore anyone out there, if you have a car problem and you have the physical ability to maybe just have a look, then YouTube it. I promise it will come up no matter what your problem is. It will come up no matter how niche. And just try that first. See if you can find the little bits and pieces. And honestly it's a lot of a lot of fun and extremely satisfying just getting in there and getting hands dirty boys can do it how hard can it be if you get good at it you should start like offering it to friends be like hey like if you need it replaced like i'll do it with like 500 bucks which covers materials and labor which is like 75 off for them like they'd be okay but then like you're in like

you can do it you said it's fun it's a little bit easy money like yeah that's actually great Become like the fringed mechanic and do cheap services. That's great. I love this, and it actually plays into the video of mine that I posted on the internet that nobody's watched. So this week I replaced my wipers. Funny story, actually. Someone stole my wipers off my car.

My car's relatively nondescript. It's not like I have custom plates or something, so people wouldn't know that it's mine. But anyway, I got one of my wipers stolen, which is arguably worse than both. super annoying rude anyway so I got online because my dad has always said you can just do it yourself totally like why not I ordered my wiper blades just from I think like wiper tech why wiper tech because my dad told me to order them from wiper tech and you same thing back you just key in your

car you key in the model the year and it tells you what wipers you need to buy and then you order them they have like 10 off or something on their website so it ended up being super cheap and you just clip them in yourself. It is so easy. I also topped up my water, did my oil. You can do all of that stuff yourself. You don't need to pay somebody. I just, I find it so funny because I think the second that you go, oh, it's something on your car that needs fixing. We think that we can't do it ourselves. And I was talking to our producer Emma the other day and she's like, oh, car door handle broke. My husband just ordered a brand new one, you know, 10 bucks or whatever it was. AliExpress does the job. Yeah, absolutely. We can do hard things. Really, we can. We absolutely can.

And even things around the house. The boys do it. I just can't get that real out of my head. Yeah, neither can I. That's all I have for today. That's all you've got. I love that. Let's go to a break. On the flip side, we're going to be talking about our money dilemma, which this week is about navigating getting a mortgage when you're a sex worker. And something you slid into our DMs about is about the fallout of falling victim to FOMO spending, which I think everyone on the table can relate to. So don't go anywhere, guys. Welcome back, everyone. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's On The Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big

and small to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hello, I work casually as a disability support worker and a sex worker full service and I'm trying to get ready to buy a home. But I have some questions around privacy with my home loan broker as well as my parents want to be involved. And I'm just questioning how can I keep this private? I'm doing the best that I can, trying to pay as much tax as possible and putting all of my cash into the bank. But yeah, I have to be open with these things with mortgage brokers and I

don't necessarily want to tell them and my parents that I'm a sex worker. Thanks so much. Bye. What do you reckon, Bec? I feel like you want to be the first cab off the rank to answer this. Yes, only because I have a friend who is, well, was in a very similar position. She now has a home. Oh, congrats, Koi. But it's not like Olga news because she, so she said, and this is like really, this is secondhand information that I, it was a while ago, so I'm probably going to butcher this. But she said she is a sole trader, so she does pay tax. She has an ABN.

But I don't know that you, I mean, I could be wrong, but you might not need to say what you do. You might just have to be a sole trader. I'm not sure. But anyway, for the six months leading up to, it could have been three or six, leading up to actually getting a home loan, she had to get a full-time job to show that she had consistent income that was through a different. Nah. I don't know if that's the right, that's like.

I'm only saying nah because like I've got heaps of clients who are sex workers. Yeah, I don't know if you need to do that. It's never been an issue. Totally. If you're a sex worker, that's a legitimate job. like it's just a job and we'll address the other side of it but if you have a job and you are paying tax on that job and you are generating an income and you can prove to me as your broker that you have a consistent income over 12 months I can I can get you a loan it's a non-issue I think

the issue I can see where she's coming from like if this is your job and you haven't told your parents or the broker to be honest I see that as a bit of a red flag not because you have to tell your parents, you don't, but more as a red flag, get a better broker. Like I love the people that I work with and have the utmost respect for them. And if you don't feel like your broker is extending that to you where you don't feel comfortable to share the job that you do, like how weird if I went to see a finance professional and said, Oh, I don't really want to tell them that I'm a podcaster. Like that's, I would never want you to be in a situation where we're talking about money, talking about creating wealth, talking about getting you in your first home. And there's

something about your financial situation that you're scared to tell me about. Yeah. Like I'm your broker. It's my job to protect you. If your parents want to get involved as a guarantor, I would get on the right page with your broker so that they understand where it's coming from. Because the banks may be going to ask questions, not because you're a sex worker, but because they might want clarity on, oh, it seems like you get paid sometimes weekly, sometimes fortnightly. like, what's the deal? How does that work? Like they might have just clarifying questions because it's a genuine source of income, right? But if you didn't want to tell your parents, I would be sitting down with your broker and saying, hey, my parents want to guarantor my loan. I've told them

that I do this particular job or, you know, I work in retail or I do something else. Yeah. Can you just not share that information? And they won't because more often than not, when you're working with a guarantor, I don't actually need to share information about the person they're guarantoring. I actually need to get a whole heap of information from your parents about the asset that they're using to underwrite your loan and what they do and what their income is. Like it's not so much about sharing your information with your parents. It's actually the opposite. It's about getting information from your parents. So that's good to know. I would just find somebody like one of the Zella Money Mortgage Brokers who just want to support you. Like I love a queen who's just

paving your own path and getting shit done like iconic yeah completely agree Jess what would you do I've got nothing to add you're like honestly you're like it's just a job yeah like I completely agree like I think you have to tell your broker I don't really see any world in which you don't tell your broker but you don't have to tell you like if you came to me and you're saying V I really want to get a home loan I'd be like cool what do you do and then you're like oh well I generate income I'd be like how like I need to make sure that that income is clean and clear and going to get you alone. And like, I actually just don't care where it comes from as long as you're paying tax on it. And I think that that's a really good point because

in the industry, obviously there's like a lot of shame that shouldn't be there. There's a lot of judgment that shouldn't be there, but you need to find the right finance team that can be on your page because hopefully if you're killing it, usually with sex work, it's the type of work that you need to make hay while the sun's shining. You're not potentially going to be able to do this until you're 65 and retiring. More often than not, I see this industry be quite short. If you're having the sunshine and you are making a heap of money and buying your first home, I want to make sure that we are structuring it properly, making sure that your cash flow is looking good, making sure that maybe I can get you into a second investment property that you can really solidify

your wealth now because like why are you working so hard to not put that money to work for you absolutely anyway I just think that you should be getting the right people on your team that are backing you instead of making you feel like oh I don't really want to share that I get the parent thing you don't have to tell anybody anything that you don't want to share but when it comes to a broker I need to know your stuff and I need you to trust me with it so if you're not trusting that broker that you're talking about get a new one babe get a new one Out with the old, in with the new. Absolutely.

Are you guys ready for the DM? We're going to talk about FOMO today. All right, so here's the DM we got. Hey, She's On The Money. I've been hating on myself a lot lately and need your help. I'm finding it really hard to balance my budget with my social life. My friends have been organizing lots of group catch-ups for dinners and birthdays, for example, and I get serious FOMO and I feel like I have to say yes to everything.

But every time I spend way more than I'd planned and then I'm left scrambling to cover my bills. Last weekend I ended up spending half my bill budget on a night out and now I'm really regretting it. The problem is also I feel uncomfortable saying no to plans because I can't afford it. How can I break this cycle and still have a social life? I wonder if this is me that wrote it. Did you, like, have a few too many drinks right into your own show

and then forget that you did it? Yes. Why, yes, that was me. Anytime anyone asks me to do anything ever. A few too many soda waters. I just cannot not do it you know and then I end up spending all the money that I maybe had plans to do something else with you know what I mean yeah but it's relatable like this is not something that you know only you're experiencing lots of people are like oh my

friend's birthday is happening I'm gonna have to go I just think and I feel like we say this a lot if your friends aren't kind of like understanding or kind of making you feel comfortable in a situation where like you can't actually spend money maybe on a birthday present maybe on dinner maybe on all these things if they're not making you feel like it's okay to still be present because your money is not who they're hanging out with it's you and so if you go like I'll always go to dinner if I can't afford it then either someone will pay for me because they're like hey you're not just gonna sit there and do nothing that's literally me like i'll be like beck get in the car totally totally i'll let people know in advance like i'm really broke you guys so i'm

gonna come but i'm gonna eat first or i'm gonna come and i'm gonna order i'm just gonna have a drink or i'm gonna have an entree or yeah or i'm gonna pick up pick up everyone else's dinner which is very annoying are you a seagull like you go and you just steal the chip you're like i am i don't want to be a scab sometimes i am but people don't always like i never finish my meals at restaurants because they're always so big and i'm always saying to everyone hey like do you want to eat what's left you want to go halfsies on something i mean i don't think the strategy is go and expect other people to pay for you or go and scab chips but it will always work but i like the audacity you're like i'm going and jess i will be eating your chips

and i can't wait that that's so sweet but your presence is the exactly it's just about like bonding with your friends and just chatting shit and that you know We're just like hanging out. It's having a good time. Having a good time. And like as for gifts and stuff, just honestly, I think gifts. Oh, my gosh. Actually, that's so funny.

Side note, we will answer this, but have you guys seen the absolute junk that Abby Chatfield is getting online at the moment because she posted that, you know, this whole idea of paying to go to someone's wedding. Like, you know, if you go to someone's wedding, there seems to be this unspoken rule of, you know, covering what it would have cost the bride and groom, which I think is unhinged and absolutely not like I could go on a massive rant about this because I think it is wildly inappropriate to have an event where you expect someone to pay for a gift or pay you for attending your event.

That is my wedding that I have chosen to have. Anyway, complete side note, I'll probably go on a rant on TikTok or something about it at some point soon, but she's getting so much crap. is the presence of you being there, not the present. I agree. I agree. And I don't. I don't know. There's lots of cultural things, right? Like there's lots of layers to this. And if in your culture, giving gifts makes sense to you. Fantastic. But at a base level, no human being should be expected to part with their finances to appease somebody else. If your two options are deep and completely like uncomfortable anxiety about money or just not see someone that you really love yeah no get married on the biggest day of their life like arguably one of the biggest

days of their life if that's you know very important to them you know what do you choose like you're like it's like lose lose yeah and I just don't think you should put that pressure on someone you know who's just mind their own business totally anyway back to FOMO yes FOMO spending Bec apart from scabbing chips how are you tackling it or should we ask Jess yeah honestly that's it for me I just think that talk to your friends that's it for me you should probably scab Scab some chips. Scab chips. Talk to your friends.

Just try and show up and you don't have to spend money. But be you. That's why you've been invited. Or actually, no, I was going to say send your money to someone else, one of your friends that you really trust. And this is what I've been doing is sending it to my best friend. No, that's a terrible idea. I know that it does that, but we are not sending money to friends.

Sure. Like I cannot guarantee. Or lock it somewhere. Or let's just get good at budgeting cash flow. You can also do that. I'm going to teach you. You have me. I'm going to put you in the best possible position.

You can do that too, yes. Yeah, we're going to do that. There's a better idea. Better idea. Better idea. Do not give your money to a random person. Jessica, FOMO spending, how are you dealing with it? I'm going to give you a bit of tough love and just say deciding to spend money on dinner

or drinks as much as I completely understand the desire to fit in and the desire, like I fully empathize with that. As you said, we've all experienced it. It is simply a bad choice. if you're compromising if you go I can either pay my rent or pay for steak dinner with the girls it's a bad choice to elect and that like to me that's very black and white I know that's very harsh and very mean sometimes we need a little bit of tough love though to kick us in the right direction I don't I don't mean to be mean but genuinely I think I understand and like

as I you know you all know I have had debt myself and I've been there and I totally get it and I think you genuinely have to do some internal work to get past that. I think it's generally speaking, deeply rooted in your psychology, the culture of your friendship group as well, I think contributes a lot to that. And I understand that it is sometimes embarrassing to say to somebody, oh, I'm really sorry. Like I can't afford to do this or I'm going to come, but I can't, you know, get a round of drinks for everyone. If you're all taking turns or whatever that looks like. I understand that you can feel a little bit like, oh, like everyone else is doing it and I don't want to look like an idiot.

Yeah. And then you make it worse in your head and then you don't sleep the night before and like the anxiety builds up and builds up and builds up. But I think the two things that you need to do the groundwork are one, being open with your friends and the people around you, because if they love you and they are your friends, exactly as Bec said, they're going to find out. They just want you there. They don't care. I didn't invite you for dinner because I want to send you into personal debt. I invited you for dinner because I think you're cool and I want to hang out more. Yeah. And you absolutely can find ways to participate in that. As you said, whether it's electing for just a small starter or splitting with a friend or even just having a drink. Like

I know that it's not as fun and it can make you feel a little bit ostracized, but if you really can't cope with the feeling of missing out, then your options are find a way to do it affordably or let's do a little bit of work and be okay with missing out on things sometimes. I know that I'm a real introvert and so it probably comes a lot easier to me. You're like, oh no, I can't go. That must be so terrible.

Slams front door and runs back to the couch. Jumps in, blanket on, fuzzy socks, cat on lap. You're like, oh yeah, no, V, I'm crying. Yeah, I'm really sorry. But I think like there is also something to be said for being comfortable enough in yourself and in your friends to go, okay, like I get that they're going to have fun and I'm happy that they're going to have fun.

But also like if it's not on the cards for me this week financially, I can have a good time by myself or I can have a good time and have a friend come to my place and we buy a $3 bag of popcorn and we watch a movie at home and we do something that way. I think like finding ways to still be social, but not spend a lot of money is probably striking the right balance. And as I said, like it's hard to hear but it requires a bit of work on you and why you're responding to the way that things you know that you are and why you are feeling these ways and like sometimes that means go into therapy or sometimes that means just like reflecting a little bit on what's triggering those feelings and thoughts but yeah ultimately I want to say as someone who has been there it is not

worth putting yourself in a financial pit because you don't want to miss out on a good time it's just not it's genuinely not and i say that with love i don't i'm sorry i feel really mean jess is literally the last person that's going to be nasty me on the other hand when it comes to love no i i also think it's about shifting your mindset so saying oh i can't afford that is very different to that's currently not in my budget like and i think that we need to be empowered by these conversations of making good money decisions because future you is going to thank you being able to say oh that's just not in my budget this week like it's so like and we've spoken about this on the show before Beck you mentioned it maybe like two or three episodes ago on a Friday and

you said I hate when someone says oh I'm broke I'll have to dip into savings and you're like well that's not relatable at all because when I say I'm broke I mean I have four cents in my bank account and I literally can't do it I'm not dipping into savings and I think that it's about articulating things clearly. Whereas Beck, if you said, oh, that's not in my budget, that's kind of alluding to maybe it's not in the budget that I've allocated for those activities this week, or it's not in the budget because I'm saving for a holiday. Like it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to open the can of worms of sharing your entire financial life. And I think that when we talk about personal finance, it can actually be as personal or not personal as you

want it to be. Like I could have, and I do, I have these conversations all the time with you guys. I talk about spending. I talk about my values. Nobody at this table, nobody in our community knows how much I earn, how much I spend, exactly what I own and exactly what I owe. None of you know that because that's a boundary that I've drawn and gone, well, actually, that's just not stuff that I'm willing to share on the show. And there's a number of reasons for that. One of them being because I know that a lot of what I do is not that relatable. Now I'm at a different stage. And I have been there. I've been in $40,000 worth of personal debt when my income was $60,000. I could not sleep because of debt, because I had FOMO, because I wanted to study

overseas, because I wanted to buy a car that I couldn't afford, because I wanted to go out for dinner with my friends. So I know you because I was you. So when I'm giving advice, it's not because I'm now in a good financial position. It's because I had to pull my socks up and get myself out of that debt and start saying no to things. And by being able to say no to things, I was saying yes to opportunity and yes to being in a little bit more and, you know, even being able to be given the space to think about my career, to think about what I wanted to do. I just ended up in a better position because I finally started sharing my journey and saying to my friends, oh, actually, I can't do that, Jess. I need to save or I need to, you know, put some money into

my debt or I need to do whatever it is. It was scary at the start, but do you know what happened? it was like a snowball. I started getting out of debt, but at the same time I was collecting stories from friends where I'd be like, oh, for example, Jess, like actually I can't go out for dinner. Like I haven't been sleeping well because I've got this debt and it's just really stressing me. Someone like Jess would have turned around if we'd been friends while I was in debt. She'd be like, oh my God, me too, far out. Do you know how empowering those conversations are when someone goes, oh, me too. Like I can almost guarantee that because humans usually keep the same company, right? Like Beck, I'm assuming that you're very close friend group, similar values, similar

morals, Jess, same, me, same. The second you start sharing small things, it gives permission to other people to share their small things. And instead of me going, oh, Jess, like we've got, you know, Steph's birthday dinner soon. And I just, I don't know how I'm going to afford it. Oh my God, I was thinking the same thing. Those conversations can become empowering. And I know that they feel like trash at the beginning because you're like, I don't know how Jess is going to take this. I don't know what she's going to say to me. Maybe she'll judge me. I promise no good friend is going to judge you. And I live and die by this quote, no one doing more than you will ever speak less of you. And if they do, they're out. So that's where I will leave that one. Powerful.

But literally, nobody doing more than you will ever speak less of you. So true. What did everybody else say? All right. So the community, we obviously said, what's your two cents? We said, do you ever fall victim to FOMO spending? 14% of you, unrelatable content. Nope, I'm a budget queen.

Okay. Did you click that? No, even I am a FOMO spender sometimes. 56% of you said, sometimes it gets me, but I'm trying hard to resist. Just clicked that one. And 29% of you said, all the time, the struggle is really real. I clicked that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then we asked what's harder, saying no to FOMO spending or the financial stress afterwards? 31% of you said the hardest thing is saying no to FOMO, but 69% of you said it's harder dealing with the financial stress after spending. The fallout is hard. The fallout sucks. And it's just you who deals with it as well.

Exactly. So then we said, all right, give us your two cents. Someone said, do a sober month challenge with a friend. You're going to save some cash, increase your health, and it makes you get creative with your catch-up ideas. Love it. Kind of cute. Someone else said, at the end of the day, your friends aren't paying your bills.

That's true. True. Savage. Someone said, the only thing we'll remember when we are old are the memories we make. Money comes and goes. So true. Did you write that back? Yes, that was me.

Did you write that? Someone else said, I give in not from FOMO but more from fear of being perceived as cheap or stingy. Let's keep it, you know what, I hate that that is a thing. Get rid of it. Like, being the cheap friend, maybe I'm the cheap friend, but, like, I don't think that it's a bad thing. No, not at all.

Absolutely not. I think it's being the smart friend, smart with money. Yes. Like, I think if we sat down and, you know, you know how you sometimes tell your friends good things? like we've done this before, like just remember, this is so unrelatable, but remember when we had our dinner party in New York? So unrelatable, but we had a Friendsgiving dinner and anyone could do this, right? We had Friendsgiving and the plan was to have a really nice meal, home-cooked meal

together. And we went around the table and we shared things that we thought were inspirational about each other, things that we're grateful for each other for. And it was literally the most wholesome evening of my entire life, entire night. But I can always guarantee not one person, if you had all your friends in a room, if we said, oh, what do we think is really great about Beck? Not one person is ever going to immediately go, she's a bit cheap. Like they're literally going to say really kind things. They're going to be like, oh, Jess is really resourceful. I do not think of you as stingy or cheap. But then when you are like, oh V, I could give you a list of examples. I'd be like, oh, I thought that was just you being smart. Like I just thought

that you were good with money. I just thought that you were actually intelligent and you were an investor and you're probably going to be richer than me like is that not what's going on here yeah I've never ever with you or any of my friends who are really really good with their money I've never thought stingy cheap type but like I think there's definitely a difference between if you are the kind of person that is um taking the benefits of what everyone buying rounds but you're not buying them because like if you steal someone's chips it's not like yeah yeah yeah would you like me and steal everyone's chips don't buy anyone anything but yeah that those two are completely different what you know this person could do and what you're doing jess is in obviously uv

extremely smart extremely admirable yeah don't take things and not reciprocate but you don't you can find other ways to participate we are putting yourself in a stress hole calling someone stingy is more of a reflection of you and your values than of them and what they're doing like if i said oh victoria's stingy i think that just is a narrative that i've built in my head that maybe I feel stingy when I do something like that, but you never know someone's goals or motivations for doing something. Like if Jess is like, oh, for example, you know, you might call your friend stingy if they're like, oh no, I don't want to split it equally. I actually want to just pay for my items. You might think, or someone might think,

oh, that's real cheap. But Jess might be thinking, oh, but Beck's not going to want to do that. So I'm going to be the one that speaks up. So she's not even the stingy friend. She just knows that Beck only wants to pay for her soda water and doesn't want to pay for my champagne, you know? Which is fair. A hundred percent. But like you never know why someone's bringing that up. And if your default is thinking that Jess is being stingy by making that comment, babe, that says more about you than it does about Jess's motivations.

Yeah. Again, you need to do some work on yourself. Do some internal work, friend. Someone else said, and I thought this was really smart. They said, I've actually started a FOMO savings account. My goal is to get to two grand before I'm allowed to start using it. Oh, I really like that. She's like, oh, I'm really bad at FOMO.

someone else said for me it's not the FOMO it's the feeling guilty for not being there I feel like I've let my friend down I get that that's why turning up and having a little soda water instead turn up just be there absolutely like I was talking to a friend this is so left of field but I was talking to a friend about going to a first birthday and you all know I'm a new mom. I am very dad, new mom. And I was like, oh, I really don't want to have to drive because it's like a two hour drive. It's a regional birthday party. And I'm like, oh, I really don't want to have to drive. And she's like, oh, like she would so understand if you didn't go, like it doesn't matter. And I was like, no, because people remember not the gift you brought.

They don't remember the thing you said or your excuse. They remember that you were the one that turned up and I want to be remembered as that friend. So just being there is the thing that's going to be remembered not how much you spent or what dinner you had or the entree you ordered no one's going to remember yeah like sometimes genuinely I ordered an entree because I'm a little garbage guts and I already ate heaps of food before I came out for dinner with you Bec like that might just be a choice because I'm not that hungry totally someone else said I always choose to be the designated driver I've fun with my friends regardless of whether I'm drinking or not love that make sure your friends are paying you for petrol though because like designated

And a driver is no longer the cheap option. Oh, yeah. True, true, true. Someone else said, challenge your friends to a month of no spend or only doing activities at home. That way they get involved too and save some cash. True. Someone else said, remember your values and your why.

Stay aligned, girlfriend. Yeah. And I think that's a perfect place to leave it because so true. Like we are such a values driven community and like, let's remember our values. Let's remember what drives us and have some hard conversations so that everyone's life can get easier. Perfectly, perfectly said. All right.

Well, I hope you guys have a beautiful weekend. I hope that you enjoy Money Diaries on Monday. Until then, we will see you later. Bye, guys. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes

and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of MoneySherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289. Thank you for watching.