She's On The Money - I Made Nearly $200K in Cash as a Stripper… and Spent Almost All of It

Episode Date: September 6, 2026

At 18, this week’s Money Diarist was approached at work by a man who told her she could make serious money at a club. Plot twist: it was a strip club.She went from earning almost nothing to making hundreds of dollars an hour, and at one point tracked nearly $200,000 in cash earnings over a relatively short period. The problem? She was spending almost as quickly as she could earn it. Then life changed completely. She left the industry, became a mum in her early twenties and went from being fiercely financially independent to relying almost entirely on her partner. When that relationship eventually ended, she realised she had no savings, barely any super, very little career history and, at one point, just $11 to her name.Now 32, remarried with three children, she’s rebuilt things very differently. She earns $120,000 across two jobs, has helped turn her husband’s sole trader business into a company, started her own business, bought land for their future home and completely overhauled the way they manage money. It’s chaotic, incredibly candid and a pretty fascinating look at what happens when you’ve experienced both extremes of money, from earning thousands in a night to having almost nothing of your own. And perhaps the biggest lesson? Making a lot of money and actually building financial security are two very different things.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblit. I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. T. Glyniananya. Nianakaka y'a-ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oooooo. Hello, beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge, and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today.

take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's On the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. Oh, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries brought to you by our friends from SkyWalth, where I get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of one of the educational of our incredible She's on the Money community members and talking all about their journey.

Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, She's on the Money. I went from being raised wealthy but strict to being a stripper earning thousands a night to a mum who depended on her partner she met at the club to leaving him and living on $11. I wish this was an exaggeration to meeting my now husband working boring retail. But depending on a man again, to find you. she's on the money, leaving retail, starting with my husband's company, and then creating my own business outsourcing my services to other trades, using Coursera, just like she's on the money mentioned, and learnt everything on my mat leave. I overhauled our finances since January and our super

and we just settled on land. I would love to share my story. Money, Darius, this is a wild ride. I'm excited. Yeah, it's a bit of a roller coaster when you hear it like that. But like a super fun one, Like, I already know just from that. I'm like, I want to be your friend. What do you mean? You were really rich, like, raised rich, now a stripper. Like, now you're a mum. Then you weren't a mom.

And then off air, you were like, oh, I have two kids who are like approaching their teenage years. And also, I just had another baby. Like, you are just so fun and I know it. Some would say chaotic. But I like fun. Absolutely. Before we jump in, money, Dressed, I need to know if I asked you to give your money, habits a grade from A through to F, what would you grade them?

I think like a B. minus or maybe a C. A B minus, but then like an A plus for fun. Yes, A plus for fun and chaos, B minus for money. Love, love. All right. Can we learn a bit more about your money story, please? So I started off by being adopted and I got adopted by my now parents when I was three months old. I am not from this country. And so my parents are from here and I didn't have a concept of that they were wealthy. I just grew up in a three and a half story home with, you know, hot rods and beautiful things. And I just kind of thought, stop. I thought everyone had that. But also like, why wouldn't you? You were adopted when you were three months old. You literally know no different. Yeah, it didn't

click to me that that was like wealth or that they were rich. And I just kind of thought that everyone lived like this. And I think if you were to ask my parents, they would tell you they weren't rich, but they actively were. Sorry, you've got a three story house, immediate rich in my head. Did you grow up with a double-door fridge by chance? No, because my parents were the type of rich where their wealth was kind of all very paired back except for the cars and it was never flaunted. Like, the house was huge and the holidays were huge and the cars were very impressive. But there was never, like, our TV still has a back to it. Like, there was no, there was no plasmas. And again, hence why I didn't think anything of it. I was just like, cool, this is just normal. This is how all

people get adopted into families, right? I'm pretty sure, yeah. Like, I've never, experienced adoption, but if I was and if I was going to volunteer for it, like it would have to be into a rich family. Yeah, and I think I felt pretty lucky. Like I got to go on holidays. I got to do Disneyland. I got to do all of those things and got to go to a nice school. I did all of the dance programs. Like I never had to miss out on anything in life. I don't feel. But money was also never talked about. So my dad was really strict on never speaking about how much you earn. You're not meant to talk about how much money you have. And because of that, I didn't really learn anything. I would was just told, get money, save it. That was all. And like, my work ethic was also hugely important

to my parents. I think I had a job at, like, for dad when I was like 12, he would pay me to go do cast stuff with him. And I'd get $5 a day. And so I always knew I had to work. And then I started at McDonald's and had to give some of my paycheck to my parents and always got charged, like rent, like higher than everyone else. Like if I wanted a box of barbecue shapes, I had to pay them $2.50. so I actually got charged more. What? Yeah, just because I think they wanted me to understand that I don't need the barbecue shape, so if I want them, there's a surcharge.

Oh, they're like basically the Uber but parents. Yeah. This is convenience. You could go get it yourself, but you're not going to. So we are going to do a delivery fee. A hundred percent. So I was always just like, oh, they're so strict. Like, if I wanted $10 to go to the movies when it used to cost that much,

I had to do a lot of things for it where I had friends who would just be like, hey, I want to go to the movies and they, I would watch their parents just give them cash. And that would never happen in my household. I always had to earn everything I got. So again, I think they were trying to teach me the value of money, but it almost did the opposite where I just went, no, I need to have my own money so that they can't have any control over what I can and can't do kind of thing. It's interesting how money conversations in households can create, I don't want to use the word resentment because the way you're talking about your parents, I don't think that's the case at all.

But it kind of, as a teenager who doesn't necessarily understand everything, they didn't go, hey, cool. So this is what we're going to be doing with money with you. Other kids are going to have it really differently. But the reason we're doing this money, Dyerist, is because, you know, we really want to teach you the value of the dollar. And you go, oh, okay, well, I still don't like it. But at least I understand where this is coming from, whereas you might have just at that point in time

been like, wow, they're really restrictive and they don't want me to live a good life. Yeah, I honestly sometimes thought it was a bit of a punishment and like, oh, I don't get to have these things or I'm not deserving of these, like, access to money. And so it did make me really like desperate to make my own money. And I think they just saw that as like, great, she has a great work ethic. Like I always did overtime. I would always do the double shifts at McDonald's. Like any way I could make more money, I wanted to do so. And I think they were like, great, she'll save all this money. They actually always had that policy that whatever you save for your car will put in. and we'll match it. And then I never saved anything. Right. And so this was during school, you worked at Mackers. Then what happens? You're 18 and you finish school or like what's the story there? I actually got expelled because I was very rebellious and my parents really struggled with that because they were very like proper, strict, highly religious. I am on the other hand, the opposite. And so I really fought against everything that they wanted for me. I was like, no, absolutely not. And I ended up actually doing one of those jobs or you have to stand in the middle of a shopping

center and ask people if they want to sign up to a charity and they only pay you if you get sign-ups but they sell you the dream of like you can make $20,000 a month and you'll get all of this money but then you still have to drive everywhere and go into the office every day. You get to do like the dancers in the morning and it was such a like I was like I'm going to work in the corporate world. It was a it felt like multi-level marketing. It is literally like a more corporate version of that. Like, sell a dream. Tell you that your commissions are really uncapped.

But then also, I'm going to make it really hard for you to make money because the product you're selling is not something people want to buy. So good luck. Yeah. And like obviously you get rejected by so many people. Like now I know that those people are just working for money not because I care about the charities. And so now when I'm in the middle of the shops, I'm like, no, thank you.

I know how much you're getting paid if I say yes. I can rather just give it to the charity directly. Yes. that's crazy work. And then that lost me money. I actually lost money doing that job because I was having to drive into the city every day. And if you didn't sell anything that day, there was no base wage. It was just commissions. Wow. I didn't know that that's how it worked. Yeah, I think it was like $80 per sign up. So if you do like six or seven of those in one day, hey, amazing. But the average was like maybe one. And in my head, I wasn't computing that $80 for one day of work was horrible. And so instead I

I was like, oh, okay, I just have to find a new job eventually. And this man approached me and was like, hey, you know, have you ever thought about working in a club? And I remember being like, oh, yeah, for sure, what kind of club? I love going clubbing. Like, I was 18. I was a baby. I probably was three weeks into being 18. Oh, my God. Wait. So a man, I have to backtrack, a man approached you on the street while you were working or like when, where, how. Yes. While I was doing one of those stands and he was like, oh, has anyone ever told you, you're like beautiful? And I was very much raised by traditional parents who my mom had always, like, that was her main compliment was like, you're really beautiful. Don't worry. Like someone will marry you. You're really beautiful.

And that was always really emphasized in my whole life. So looks became such an important thing to me that they then eventually became my entire career. And so when he did, I was kind of just like, yeah, of course. What do you mean? Like I'm 18. I'm like, yeah, thank you. And he was like, you could make this much money. And again, I was working a job that I was losing money in. Yeah, it sounds like a great opportunity. And as you said, I love clubs. Yeah, I was like, how bad could this be? And then I get there and it's a strip club. Like, it's a full-blown, old school movie-like strip club. And I'm like, okay, cool, I can dance. My parents paid for me to all of these amazing dance classes. Oh, my God. I can still do the splits. And I'm a pretty confident bubbly person. And so I was like,

Like, how, yeah, why not? On paper, you are going to thrive there. Absolutely. And they get you to choose your name and all of those ridiculous things and you kind of go, okay. Oh, how do you choose your name? That's fun. Is it like first street and first pet name?

Because that's how I've always picked my names based on social media posts. It's not merely as cool as that. They literally said, what name do you pick? And I went, oh, okay. And I chose, because I could see behind the bar, a bottle of alcohol. and I just chose the name of that bottle of alcohol and that's what worked for me. And so I was like, great, let's go with that. It kind of suits the way I look and we'll just hope for the best and, you know, how bad can

this be? And then I went there and then that first night I made like a lot of money. Like I made, I think my first customer gave me $500 just for being like a baby stripper is what they would call it, which now that I'm an adult goes ill. Yeah, totally. but at the time you had no idea. And yeah, so I remember being like, oh my God, I didn't make this much in this whole time I was at this other job.

And I've just made that in half an hour with a three minute love dance. And you're like, I'm fine to do this. And I mean, everybody is going to have different like tolerance levels and be like, oh, I never or I would or whatever. But like, who kind of cares what your personal preferences are? I'm finding this so interesting. So you went in. And I feel like if somebody blinds,

me and said, oh, you're coming to work at a club. Then it was a strip club. I'd kind of be taken it back and be like, oh, I don't know. But were you like, yeah, whatever, I'll take my clothes off. Like, I've got no qualms about this. Or were you a bit like, oh, I've got reservations, but I should try it. Like, how did that work? I think my personality at that point in my life was just like, excuse my French, but fuck it. Like, that was just how I thought about doing things. And I think I was very confident in who I was. And, you know, everyone likes to think with your 18 you know everything and I'm like, how bad could this industry be? Like, I've watched, I mean, I watched coyote ugly and I was like, I want to do that.

And that's essentially what I thought I was doing was just coyote ugly, but like less clothes. And I was like, I can do this. Like, you know, it's a different kind of performing, I guess. And I just really like fell in love with the money. But I actually fell in love with the job for a portion of time. But I love that. Like, I think we should all enjoy what we do. And I'm actually glad that you did.

Were you still living at home at this point? I did live at home for like maybe two weeks of it. And then because I'd made so much money, I moved immediately into a sharehouse and was just like, I don't need them for anything. Look at me now. I have that freedom I wanted. I can do whatever. And I really became like, I don't know, like, the wolf of Wall Street. I was just like, I'll buy this and I can do this. And I was just going to buy everything I've ever wanted. And all of a sudden I could live by myself. I didn't need anybody. and I moved into a sharehouse with the best funnest people ever who were the opposite of my lifestyle. They all worked in IT and I obviously was a stripper. So I got to leave, it was a very big bang theory of me.

I was the penny and they were all so beautiful and loving. But I was paying $600 a month for bills, rent and everything. And I was making $600 in an hour. Yeah, that's so crazy. So did your parents know? No, they definitely were told that I worked at a, bar and I just never discussed it again. Then being so strict and conservative, I think that we really just had a don't ask, don't tell policy. But in saying that probably three years in my mom did

make some outfits for me and I think she just must have thought that that's what I was wearing at the bar. I also knew how much money I was bringing in because I had like Louis Vuitton suitcases and all of a sudden I was, you know, living this quite over the top life. And they didn't question it. Like I'm telling you right now, if my daughter comes home with a Louis Vuitton suitcase that I didn't purchase for her. I'm going to be like, girlfriend, what were you doing? I think they really were like, what's that saying? Like, just it's best not to know. Turning a blind eye. Yeah, they were turning a blind eye and just hoping for the best. I think they'd had such a rollercoaster of teenage me. And they're really those kind of parents that

just love you no matter what. Oh, that's sweet though. But like, do you think they kind of knew, but they were like, whatever, like, she seems fine. We're not going to ask about it. I think they kind of knew and it would be easier to go to church every week if they just didn't know. I think that's how it went down. And for them, they were just like, okay, no worries. And it was all great until obviously it wasn't great. It wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally understood. So you live in that life. You said it was great until it wasn't. What does that look like? Because did you meet? Like, I guess there's a very stereotypical experience when someone becomes a stripper, right? And we've seen it online. It's a slippery slope.

and often it filters into, you know, a few more untowards things, which, you know, if it's consensual, like, and it's happening between consenting adults, like, it's none of my business. But, like, is that your experience? Because I feel like you said, I met my husband at work. I think I actually had, like, a really great experience considering until the end. But, like, I do believe that I watch all those movies thinking, okay, every girl's going to be on drugs or they're going to, you know, where that wasn't the truth. met a lot of women who were studying to be nurses. There was one who was going to work in the Navy, but she just needed to be able to pay off her house first. The most successful girl I ever

worked with, who was now like a really big lawyer, was just paying for law school and didn't drink at all, you know, drove to work every night and drove home. And I think I lived kind of like both of those lives. At that time, I didn't use any drugs, but I did drink a lot. And I think that that was probably what I used as a coping mechanism to deal with the negative side of that industry, but God, does the positive side feed your ego? Like I think, you know, like all things, people have their preferences and it's a sexual job so people have their sexual preferences. And if guys wanted, you know, a certain look that wasn't me, I wasn't going to be for them. And sometimes they would be really clear and let you know that. And that was, you know, that takes a toll. But then you would have

another client who would come in, who would see you every single week, who would pay your rent, pay my bills, you know, have my phone direct debit to him, even though he didn't even know my real name because they, you know, care about you or they really like your personality or your looks just alone. And so that side kind of feeds that ego of like, I'm incredible and I'm making so much money. But, you know, there is obviously that dark side of it can take a really big toll. It's really exhausting. It's not nearly as easy money as I thought it was. It does require a lot of like, one, physicality and two, like, you have to have thick skin because people will come and put a dollar on your stage and you just have to keep going like that hasn't crushed your soul or,

you know, people will tell you to lose weight. And as an 18 year old, you're so impressionable. And I think now, like, the world is so different. I don't think, I could be wrong, but I don't think you make as much money in clubs anymore because only fans exist. But I think that's also so dangerous in so many ways, but so great in other ways because I think if you want to do that, amazing power to you, like I believe in doing whatever you. want with your body at the end of the day. I wasn't ashamed of what I did for a job, but I wish that someone had told me like, hey, this is what you'll be known for. People are going to come. People are going to know. And now it's even worse because they don't have to see me in person.

They could, you know, just view you online. Yeah, I feel like that's such a good point. And I have a really good girlfriend who was a stripper and an escort and did that all through uni. Like, I knew that's what she was up to. And she now is so wealthy. It's not funny. but she's also a lawyer. And one of the things she says is she's like, I would never recommend in like 25, 26, like somebody to do that anymore because she's like, you cannot find any evidence of what I did. She's like, I am not, not proud of it. I talk about it. It's not a secret. Like everyone around me knew, but like future employers, they can't find it. Like there's no photos of her. There's no like ongoing trail. She's like if they find out great, but there's no like photos to circulate in a group

text. And so I think that that's a really important consideration these days because so many people they go, oh, I'll just do OnlyFans. Like people have been, you know, making money off sex work for so long. And I get it. If that's aligned to your values, like more power to you. I've done so many episodes with people who have made millions from OnlyFans and pop off queens. But also, if that's not what your long-term goal is, you do have to sit down and think about like, well, how would this actually impact the life I do want to lead and what would that look like. And if you're happy taking that risk and if you're happy taking on that load, like, great. But for some people, it's not going to work out in that way.

And I still look at it like I'm the same where I was from that era. I'm a little bit old now, but I was from that era where there is no evidence of what I did. Everything is deleted off the internet. I still have the photos of what I look like just to remember that that's what I want to look like. But apart from that, the only thing that exists from that is my ex and the children that I have. And pop off. You loved that. Yeah. Like for me, that was the good thing that came out of all of it as toxic as that industry is and as how, you know, much it can change your life. I did also get to meet someone in the club, which was, like, I just gave this person a lap dance and they were really young and I was also really young.

And they kept coming back and I ended up making a lot of money. I accidentally took a lot of their savings before we dated, which my ex-mother-in-law did not love. But yeah, so then we met and it all happened quite quickly. And he actually let me work in the industry for like at least a year and a half post-us meeting. He used to drive me to any of my private functions and was really quite accepting of everything. When I left the industry, then it was a conversation of us having children eventually. And then I got taught I've endometriosis. So they were like, if you want to have children, and we don't even know if it's possible, but you should probably try sooner. And he was like, okay, we're 21.

Sure, how hard can it be? Oh my goodness. You were a baby. And I should have done the math. You said before, I'm getting old. Baby, you're 32. Like, and you don't look 32. And I'm sitting here and I'm 35.

And I'm like, what do you mean you're getting old? Sit down. I think for the, you know, adult industry, 32 is old. Oh, she's getting on. Like people are like, oh, would you ever go back to doing it? that I'm like, no, no, like even if I look 10 out of 10 in my head, I don't need, no one needs to see that. It's too old now. No, no. And I feel like there's like, you know, you don't want to regress to like a previous life that you had that clearly was not aligned to the values that you currently have.

So you're 21, you decide to have your first kid. How does that go? Like, what does life look like going from? And can we just ask, how much on average do you think you were making? when you were working as a stripper? Minimum per week would have been three and a half thousand. I think I tracked for a good six-month portion from 19 till almost 20, and I had made around $195,000 worth of cash. Of cash. And I had spent almost that same amount.

Yeah, because like, let's be honest, and this is going to stay anonymous, but like I'm assuming the ATO didn't know about a lot of that cash. Yeah, a huge amount. I did actually claim some because I wanted to claim my makeup and my big giant stilettos and some of those things. So I claim to portion. But yeah, obviously when you're dealing in that industry, this was before you could, you know, add a tap and pay to your phone. So it was an old school ATM that they'd have to go to to get more cash out

for you. And there was no transferring to my personal names or anything. It was if you want it, you've got to pay me cash. And yeah, I made a lot of it. Yeah. Wow. And like that's just good context. but how do you go from earning that amount to going, okay, I'm 21 and like my partner and I have decided to have a child because you, I don't know, can you work as a pregnant stripper? You probably can. There would probably be a niche for it now and OnlyFans, but unfortunately that wasn't my niche. No. I think why the industry had played me out so poorly that I was just done with it.

So there was like, in my brain, I'd switch that off. So I just wasn't able to do that anymore. and I was no longer wanting to make that money anyway. So it was quite easy for me to turn it off from that aspect. But going from being the breadwinner, I made the most amount of money I paid for all my life to then having to go to a man and outsource my financial health to him was tricky.

But back then we were quite fortunate. He actually got paid like a, I think it was like two grand with overtime every single week. And I think we paid maybe $400 of rent. So we like weren't struggling. I never felt like we were struggling. We actually have conversations now about like, oh my gosh, I feel like his wages went so much further than he feels like they do now.

But we were lucky that he was fully qualified and that, you know, we had this life. And I also never felt like we were going to be left abandoned. We both had families that were willing to help us and bought most of our stuff. So we really didn't have to buy much, even house furniture when we moved into our own place. It was just like, I think his mom bought our whole entire house furnished from. focus on. So we were like, okay, great. And you touched on something before that I thought was really interesting. You said a lot of his savings went to me before we were in a relationship, which his mother didn't like. So did his mother know that he'd like taken a stripper home from the club?

Yeah, he'd literally done the cliche song. He'd fallen in love with his stripper. I believe T-Pain said that. Yeah, quote T-pain. I was his first ever girlfriend, the poor man. So he really threw himself into the deep end. Well, I think I may have pushed him into the deep end and just held him there. But yeah, she wasn't too happy. They were actually pretty accepting of what I did for a job. I think it was the fact that I'd left their son without as much money that they didn't love and that I was very like credit card positive. I was like, heck yeah, let's get personal loans. Let's get credit cards. And I didn't have a job that we could do that in. So he had the job that had the, you know, pay slips. So I had no qualms, you know, kind of being like, let's do this.

I can be a very persuasive person. I mean, look what I did for a job. I'm very good. I was about to say, it's in your nature. Yeah, I think like a scary thing is how good I am at manipulating men and still to this day have to actively make sure I don't do that. I think that's always been a talent of mine and I've built an entire career out of it and, you know, have met my ex that way.

And so I really did have a knack for just being like, cool, you know, let's just get a credit card. I remember being like, oh, I really want this thing, but I just don't want to have, you know, I don't have the cash right now because I would spend my cash as quickly as it came in and it would be a Monday where I didn't work. And so we would just figure it out. Do you know me? Like latitude and us were best. We were tired. Right. So you get pregnant and you're relying heavily on credit cards and personal loans and, you know, cash is coming in the door. But tell me how does your life change? I think it changed very little because we didn't do anything. either. We went from having, like I worked predominantly weekends and night times and he was a home body.

So we just went into our home and had our baby and we were young and I was very lucky that I have still my best friend today who also had a child and kind of gave me the confidence to be like, ah, you've got this. How about we can all, we'll burn together. It'll be fine. And so she would come over and my other best friend would help me out every other day, but he would work long hours and I would be at home with the kids and I fell in love with it. I have a very addictive personality. So I, actively threw it all, like everything I had into being a mom to the point where I did my early education just so that I could understand his developmental and all of that. I can never do anything by halves, hence what's brought me to shoes and the money because I can't listen to a podcast

by halves. And so I think it's definitely that thing where it seemed actually really easy. Having our first two children was a breeze. I think staying together was less easy because we were babies. Yeah. But having the kids portion was actually kind of the fun part. Like I, I found it really easy. I love that that's the experience you got of motherhood because sometimes when you have kids really young, you're not like emotionally equipped to deal with that. Even though you think you might be, you're like,

oh, I feel like I'm missing out. You're like, no, that was the fun bit. I love this. So what happened next? Like, your relationship doesn't work out? Well, COVID happened and we were meant to get married. And we had actually got a loan out for our wedding. And I remember being like, okay, well, we know that COVID's happening.

should postpone it. And I think that neither of us were sad that we had to postpone it. And like the best thing about us was that we had become best friends, that we were really, you know, like content, I think, but we maybe weren't happy. And there were a lot of little fights and a lot of little changes in our life that happened. And yeah, we had to cancel our wedding. And then I think we realized we should probably cancel our relationship. And again, I was quite, like I was so young. I can own that I was pretty toxic in that environment as well because I just was like, we have kids and we were both such great parents. He's such a great father. We just weren't each other's people by that point anymore. I was no longer the same person that he met and he was still to me the similar person to what I'd met.

And I think motherhood obviously changes you in such a deep way. And I feel like I had changed in a different way that needed something different. And I think he absolutely needed something different. That's honestly so refreshing. I feel like there's always like a, oh, he cheated, she cheated. You know, we fell out of love. We're arguing all the time. Like, it seems like you still have a very positive view and relationship of the person you now co-parent with. Is that an accurate representation of what I'm picking up?

A hundred percent. Like, we obviously have our times where it's usually me who has an attitude and like we have our little fights. But for the majority, like, old habits die hard. Yeah, I still have to pull myself up or my now husband has to pull me up and be like, hey, let's be a little bit nicer in the most loving way. And I'm like, oh, fine. Right. I'm like, am I the problem? That's often what I'm asking myself. Well, I mean, that's really good self-reflection that you're able to be like, I seem to be the common denominator here. And my parents also really love to point that out as well. They're like, hey, just maybe that's

a you thing. That could be you. And I'm like, how dare you not just take my side and blindly like, You are my parents. But yeah, no, I think, like, we are really lucky. I think we co-parent really well. Our kids and I still do Christmas altogether. We do all matching pajamas. We're both now remarried and both have new children. And I think we put in a really big effort to get along and try and make sure that for our kids,

you know, who are still figuring it all out and still trying to understand why mom and dad aren't together, I think we do a pretty good job of staying, you know, friendly. And also, like, I think it's really important to. state that like I've never seen him so in love and him so happy. I love that. And like I think I'm the same. I think we both, you know, I think he got the wife that he really needed and he gets treated the way he deserves to be treated. And I think I also get treated the way I deserve to be treated. And I just think we weren't each other's people. And now our kids are so lucky because they get to see both their parents in actual love, not just in a relationship for the sake of being with the children. I am obsessed

with that. And who would have thought the stripper story was going to become so wholesome? Yeah, you wouldn't believe the amount of people like, I forget that that's where you both started. And I was like, yeah, I was in a strip club. So at what point did your parents find out or did they not find out? You're talking so openly about this at the moment that I feel like it had to have come up in every other aspect of your life at some point. When I left the industry, unfortunately something bad did happen to me that made me leave the industry. And because of the police's involvement with that, my parents did find out. that way, which was obviously horrible, but at the same time, they couldn't be mad at me because,

you know, I was dealing with so much already, but it kind of took that like, hey, sorry, no, totally, for sure, for sure, but we have to just scan over that and help me. And so, yeah, because of that, it kind of took away that conversation. And I mean, it's 11 years post me leaving and we've never had that conversation. Oh, you still haven't spoken about it. Like, it came up in a super traumatic and triggering way. you couldn't talk it. You were like, hey, but we have to actually focus on this other thing that's going on. So don't ask me about that because like right now I'm a little bit too obviously fragile.

And then they just never brought it up again. Well, yeah, then I gave them grandchildren and they were just like obsessed and they just now are so thankful that I gave them these grandchildren that I think that it's best if we just never. And that is how we do with conflict in that family is 100%. I'm a talker. I love talking stuff out. They are not that way. So I'm like, hey, that's cool. We just never have to do that. And they don't drink or anything. So it doesn't really come up in like drunken conversations or anything. It's just like, we never need to talk about it. That's so interesting. But also just like so much part of that journey. Do you think your kids will ever know what type of work you were involved in at some point? I have no issue, especially I have one daughter. I have no issue talking about it because I think it's really important to talk about easy money. And I say that with air quotes because I don't think easy money exists. That job took a huge toll on my life for the rest of my life. And it also gave me a huge amount of money at that point of my life. But when I look back and think, was it worth it? I would probably say no. So I think it's important to have those conversations with my children

to say, like, there are so many jobs that are going to come and are going to be like you could make X, Y and Z so quickly, but really think about, like, as you would say, it doesn't align with your values or is it going to be worth it in the end? Yeah. And I think that that's a really important conversation to have obviously at an age appropriate level. Like, I don't know if your kids eight, I'm probably not going, Mommy was a stripper. Like that's, that's not it. But like, I think once they get to an age where it's like, oh, well, actually, did you know your mom was up to this? Like, I think it can actually be really constructive for your relationship as well. And like, could even build it in a really positive way because you're kind of like, well, actually mom did this. So like,

this ain't my first rodeo. Like, oh, you think you're good? Well, I think I I'm so open too and I have no shame in what I did. So I'm like, I also want to teach them that, hey, you can do whatever. And if you want to work in this industry or if you want to work for this, I'm going to be supportive no matter what we choose to do because there is no shame here. Yeah, no, love. And now fast forward, you're married to the love of your life and you have another baby 10 plus years later. Yeah. So I went through that period of being a single parent as well that I had, you know, next to no money and had to learn how to struggle and had to do all of that. And I really said, okay, I never want to put all my money based off a man's income again. When I separated from

my ex, I didn't get anything. I realized I hadn't had super for 10 years. I hadn't had any of my own savings. I have nothing to show for even on a resume, let alone a bank account or credit history because everything was in his name. And so I was like, okay, but I also I'm living off $11. So what am I going to do? And I actively only went out and dated wealthy men. Again, this was that mentality of like, hey, well, what am I good at doing? And I'll go and I'll find someone that's maybe okay with not being in love.

And, you know, I'll just, we'll figure out a way that I can survive because I feel like I'm very good at just surviving. And then I realized that I absolutely can't do this. And I was so bored sitting in no boo, not wanting to eat my raw fish. And I was just like, actually, I can't, I don't want it this life for me or for my children. And I just won't date. And then I met my partner and he was actively just meant to be for fun. He was not the most financially smart person. In fact, he was, you know, quite wild for a 30 year old man. Like he had his own business, but I don't think he was, you know, thinking about saving.

He'd already traveled a lot of the world. So for him, that was kind of his priority. And I remember thinking, this is not a stable, like, person that you could as a person with three children or two children could be with. And you were kind of like of the mentality and like rightly or wrongly. You were like, I'm only going to date wealthy men and I'm only going to be doing X, Y and Z. And then how did you meet? Like, how do you meet someone that's out of that wheelhouse and then end up dating them? Because obviously you clearly had a strategy in your head. You're like, girl, I'm going to marry rich.

Yeah, I think I was like, okay. Well, I can't work because I have two. kids are home. So I need to marry, like, money. I can't afford a mortgage. So I've got to have to marry. So I said I would only date someone with a home. They had to have owned a home. And bless my partner, he had like a man cave that he rented. And we met on Tinder. So good old fashion Tinder. I met my husband on Tinder. Yeah, I feel like it's like common these days. And again, it was just meant to be fun. I was never meant to see him again. And we actually ended up really getting along. And then the new wave of COVID, because it's obviously, yeah, post-separating.

new wave of COVID came and we got put in lockdowns and my ex and I shared custody and I would have one of the weekends. He would have, you know, the other. And so I was like, well, there's nothing better to do. You make them come and hang out. And then we just ended up getting along like a house on fire and I had to kind of pretend that I was like, it's fine. Everything's fine, that you've fallen in love with this person. It's so fine. I'll figure it out. How bad can it be? But I then learned that he had like an amazing work ethic. He'd built a really cool company and that he had drive. and I think with a little education or, you know, maybe some manipulation, I could help him get there. You're killing me. You're killing me. But also this is great. And become like financially stable.

And I also learned that he is a lot more financially stable than I thought he was. It was just that because we weren't intending to date, there didn't need to be those kind of deep conversations about like, hey, what's your goals in life? but was kind of just like, hi, come over at 3 a.m. And so it didn't really matter of how much he earned. And yeah, so he was just a sole trader. And then him and I started dating and I was like, are you sure? Because like, I come with two tiny humans. And at this point of my life, I had full custody. So I was like, like, he sees them every other time or when he can, but like, it's me and them. So what are you going to do? We're a package deal. What's up? Mm-hmm. And he looked at our chaos and said, yeah, okay, let's do it. Oh, I love him.

But we did enter into that relationship saying we will, I'm never having another child again. I've done this and he was so supportive of that. Unfortunately, he decided to be a phenomenal step-parent and I had to be like, I love this. We were talking about this off air. I was like, you said you would never have children again. So was it an accident? You were like, no, no, this was not an accident. I just saw how great he was at being a dad and wanted to do it again.

We very much intended to do that. And now we have a one-year-old son. So we're very, very happy. I'm obsessed. And that's just so lovely. Like I was saying to you that one thing when I met my husband, I was like, oh, damn. Like, this is something that historically in all of my relationships, I was like, I don't know if I want children.

And then I met my husband. And I was like, I really want your babies. Like, I cannot wait to see you be a dad. And like, that's such a nice thing, right? Does that mean you're only going to have one? Is there like another one in the future? Yes, we're done. He's been to the doctors, never again.

Okay, but like you said that the first time. Well, thankfully this time, uh, vasectomies exist and they can be reversed. Like, science is, is amazing. Not a money win though, not a money win to reverse them. They do cost a lot of money. And no, I just don't think I could do that again. It's, I'm so tight. Do you know what? I love that. So now you have a one-year-old, you are married to the love of your life. What do you do for work? How much money do you earn?

I make $120,000 a year. Pop off queen. I work two jobs. So my first job is that I work for my husband's company, which is our company, we're no longer sold traders. And I am the operations manager and all of the back end. And then my other job is a like a company, well, that I've kind of started. And I am a virtual assistance in creating AI. startup processes for other trade companies to help them get that ball rolling. That's incredible. So she's smart and pretty. Well, she wasn't smart up until she went on that leave and then decided I should start listening to a podcast and that podcast suggested I should take some free courses online. And I was like, hey, I could do that. And then I learned about AI. Oh, my God. How good. I need to get on that Coursera stuff because there's just so much stuff online that you can learn for free. tell me how did you pick what you were going to learn? Because for those of you playing along at home, who maybe you're like, what is Coursera? It is a website that you can go to and lots of universities and

educational institutions around the world upload courses that you can do for free. And yes, you can pay at the end to get the proper certificate, but like you can upskill yourself without having to pay for the certificate at the end that the course is free. So how did you pick? Well, what am I going to learn? Literally TikTok. I was on TikTok and people would talk about things like Claude and I was like, well, what is Claude? Like, I don't know what that is. And they were like free course on Anthropic. And then there would be extended courses on Kausia. And then it was like, oh, I could do an Excel. So I did a little Excel one because I never really learned how to use it. And then I would do more and I was learning about different things. And I was like, hey, like I could learn about Salesforce and, you know,

further my CRM experience because I did have some working in retail. And I, I was like, I know what a CRM is. I've actually got a lot of experience doing that because I'd always just been in, I guess, sales. It was either sales of my body and then I switched to sales in retail. So I was like, okay, well, I don't want to go back to that after my mat leads done. I had listened to She's on the Money and I'd listen to so many inspiring women where I was like, I actually want my own career.

And I want to have something that I can do and not just, again, outsource my financial health to a man. I was like, as much as I love my husband, I'm married, you just never know. I think I've lived proof that you think you're with your person. and you never know and you have children that doesn't cement anything. And I really wanted to know that if something, God forbid, happen, that I'm now able to leave and be okay and work and have a career. And yeah, I just kind of went on there and picked random courses. And I was like, I could do that.

How hard could that be? And then by the end of course, I'm like, I can do that. I even went to the point of trying to do like financial courses because I was like, maybe I could be a financial plan on. And then I was like, no, this is hard. This requires like an actual degree. And I'm going to have to sit down and like go back to. school. But also, how good? Like, I just, I love it. Like, how hard could it be boys do this stuff all the time?

And I'm very much that person. I'm like, I know if someone else could do it. Like, if I know a man who can do that, you better damn believe I can do that. We can do it better. Like, it's proven. So tell me, what is your big money goal? What are you currently working towards? We are trying to finalise our building loan as we have just settled on our land. So finalizing our building mortgage and being out to pay that down a lot quicker. I want to have as much money in our offset as we can. I also want to have like an excess of savings in our emergency account. Like we're pretty lucky we have a good amount. My husband earns quite a lot of money. So we are like earning it, but I want to really be able to see where all of our money is and really understand it all. I'm obsessed. I love this.

Let's go to a really quick break. And on the flip side, I'm going to ask you about your debts, personal insurance, your best and worst money habits, guys, do not go anywhere. Money Dyerist, we are back. Tell me about your investing journey. So I have downloaded sharesies and I have used the code and I'm ready to go but I'm just trying to decide I also have three children and I really want to be able to set them up with their own like shares essentially. So I'm trying to choose like three different investments and then put money into them. I have money set aside to start investing but we're just not there yet. Yeah, fair. Love that. Tell me. about debt. You just settled on your land. So what does that situation look like? The only personal debt that we have is our mortgage. So we have $660,000 worth of debt for our land. Unfortunately, where we live, land is not cheap. That's a lot. I'm excited to learn off there where you live. And then finalise our building. So once our building contract is done, our total loan will

probably be around the $1.2 million mark. And that will be our only debt. We do have. have cars in our company, but they only have $20,000 left to pay, and it's actually more beneficial right now for us to keep them. To leave the loan on that, especially because of like depreciation and being able to claim it. I totally understand that. Are you taking on more debt to do a big build? Yes, because I like expensive things still. And like we absolutely could have saved and, you know, move further out and done all of the things, but I kind of wasn't willing to give up where we wanted to live and the kind of home that we wanted to have. But other than that, no, we're lucky that we won't need to take out any more money after our build is done, though, to finish it. Yeah,

perfect. Now, tell me about personal insurances. How are you protecting this lifestyle that you have created? So my husband's actually still in the process with Skywellf now, getting his sorted. Oh, you are? Yeah, so we joined full cult. We're full cult members. I love this. And so he is, yeah, in the process of getting his sorted and then we'll get mine. sorted once all of our building and everything loans are sorted so that we know how much we have to have covered. So tell me what do you think your best money habit is? I feel like you've probably got a few and they're probably a little bit crafty these days. I think probably my ability to sort through numbers when you have a company and you also have another sole trading business.

It's quite confusing. I think my ability to save when I'm quite stubborn and like I said, I have an addictive personality. So since listening to finance podcasts, all of a sudden, my whole life has become about saving money and not spending it. So tracking everything, I'm using the budget sheet. I bought the budget thing. I bought all the things. Oh, I love you. To be able to do all of that. So probably saving is my biggest thing, only when I decide to. Adore. And what is your worst money habit? At the moment, it's probably our takeaway an impulse, like food, alcohol decisions. Both of us are quite stressed. and we're both incredibly busy.

So we do tend to kind of go, let's just get takeaway. And then all of a sudden, we're three children and us, it's like $150 later when we absolutely had food at home. There was absolutely food in the fridge. We just needed to cook it. But neither of us have the mental capacity. So that's our absolute worst money habit. I hate how much we spend on takeaway.

It's actually becoming astronomical. We had some friends over the other night and we were like, let's get Indian. And like, for us that, I don't know. and maybe my brain is just not keeping up, but 10 years ago, Indian is like 40 bucks and we get some really nice curry, some rice, everything. It was nearly $200 on Uber Eats. And yes, it was probably more expensive on Uber Eats, but what are you talking about? Like, that's to me dining out amounts. And like, I'm not mad. Thankfully, I'm in the very fortunate position where we could afford that. But I remember being like, wasn't like takeout meant to be the easy, quick, like, you know,

it's not that expensive way. Like, we used to get fish and chips. as kids on Friday nights. And like, I remember that being like real cheap. Minimum chips, right? Minimum chips isn't a thing anymore. Yeah, our fish and chips is now like $65 minimum and I want to cry about it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. That's just not for me. Not for fish and chips. If I've got $60, you sure as hell, I am buying Atlantic salmon from the supermarket and cooking it myself. Where I say that, that I'm like, nope, won't happen. I actively know that tonight's dinner is takeaway. And that's fine. I feel like we just, need to be aware of it, right? Now, money dors, at the start of this episode, you gave yourself

a pretty good rating. But now that we've spoken today, what grade would you give your money habits? Like, would you change it? Are you keeping it? I feel like vocalizing things sometimes makes things different. I think I would keep it at a B minus just because we're not investing yet. I feel like once we're investing, and once our personal insurances are done, I'd be happy with like a B or an A minus. I love that. I've loved this episode. I've loved everything about it. Thank you for being so candid and open and fun to talk about, but also just sharing that like, life is life. And that is genuinely so wholesome.

So I wish we had so much more time to chat. I wish we could hang out in person, which I don't know, we can work that out. But I just know that the community has gotten a lot out of this episode, and I am very grateful for it. Thank you so much for having me. The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherper Pty-LTD, ABN-649-27708.