She's On The Money - It's a V, B & A Friday!

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

With Jess away, Victoria and Bec are joined by SOTM producer Annaliese for this free-wheeling Friday! As usual we celebrate your money wins, Bec brings the Broke Tips, and this week's  Money Dilemma is all about managing your accounts. Plus this week you slid into our D.Ms about whether or not it's a red flag if a new partner has less savings than you. Does this mean you're not on the same page financially? There were lots of feels on this one, so don't miss it! Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, is Friday, which means it is time to celebrate you, the incredible She's On The Money community. Today, I am going to be sharing our community's favorite money wins because Miss Jessica Ricci, she's living her life in Tokyo. Kind of rude, but that's okay. Bec, you've got a number of really good broke tips for us this week, which I am excited about. Yes. We are going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about managing various accounts. We're going to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMs

about, which this week we're chatting about a partner who doesn't prioritise savings at all. And we're going to introduce our Miss Annalisa to the show. She's our podcast producer and all round like queen of the She's On The Money Unisphere, whatever we call it. The queen. The queen. She's the queen. Hello. It's me. It's me. I am here. I'm here to keep you in line, on air and in check. True. She was very confused when we were like, let's have her on the show.

You were like, ah, are you sure? I have nothing else to offer but my verbal support of both of you on air. Lovely to join you today, ladies. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. I'm so excited that you're here. I would also like to clarify that Miss J-Rick is over in Japan, in Tokyo, trying to win Miss Sake 2023.

No, she's not. I think that she should. No, she's not. Yeah, she should wash her hair. She may as well try and look it up. She's going to look. She should. She should.

That would be really good. I don't think she's going to come back. I really hope she does. We need her. I hope she does. We really need her, guys. If she doesn't, then you will stay here forever. And you seem stoked about that, so let's go with that.

As always, we start the show by asking you guys how your weeks were. Miss Bex Sahed, what have you been up to this week? What have I been up to? Honestly, like, I've been kind of bedridden because I've been sore. It's about that time of the month not to get, you know, too, you know, TMI. No, it's helpful. So I haven't done anything. We'll talk about it because, yeah, it's kind of crippling sometimes.

It's kind of crippling. So I've let myself have a really relaxed week. Good. You deserve it. Thank you so much. And you? And you. No, Miss Annalisa, how was your week?

What did you do? Anything interesting? Well, I'm still shook, Bea, from the constant steady delight of beautiful sunshine that we had in Melbourne last week. What is that about? I don't know. It's weird, but it's fabulous. But also thanks for getting me on because I'm going overseas this Sunday for two months

and I won't see you for this one. I was going to bring that up. So I'm frantically packing, frantically working, frantically doing everything and wondering why on earth I got myself into this. No, I think it's going to be brilliant. Annalisa, can you tell our community exactly why you're leaving She's On The Money for two months? Because that kind of seems a bit rude, doesn't it, Bec?

Of course you're letting me be. No, that's not it at all. What are you doing over in the United States of America? I'm playing some music over there. So I'm very excited. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't good enough, was it, Bec? Could you please just tell us what you're actually doing over there?

My band is going on tour. Your band is going on tour. Your band was invited to go on tour in America. So I'm playing about. Hold on. So you have a band, a big dog band. Oh, not a big dog band. A little dog band.

My band is Lothario. It's a punk band. I'm sure many, she's on the money list as we enjoy the kind of anarchic feminist punk that I sing. Hey, we're a diverse community. We are. We are indeed. I don't think our team could be any different, honestly.

I know Jessica Ricci and I share one brain cell between the two of us, but like the rest of the team. Exactly. Real rogue collection of friends. Exactly. Bit of a punk Tay-Tay Swift is what I try to channel. Tay-Tay Swizzle, is that what they call it? I am 100% there for anything that you relate to Taylor Swift, so I'm in.

I keep saying to the team, we have to go to one of Annalisa's live events and the rest of the team are like, Victoria, you'll get kicked out. You do not look like you'd go there, but I'm going to go anyway. Oh, my God, no. We also have a diverse audience and all sorts of people come and please do come along. I will make sure that they crowd surf you to the front when it is safe to do so.

Cannot wait. That's perfect for a pregnant person. Yes, thank you for letting me go. I cannot wait. I am simply delighted and I won't even get to high-five you while you're at FinCon. I know, we're actually really disappointed. Because I'll be rocking on the road.

Because, Bec, we're actually in the U.S. at the same time. So we take off mid-October to go to New York for a week with the team. We have a whole heap of really exciting interviews coming up with some New York talent. We're also going to iHeart Studios there. We're going to go visit the Penguin Studios. And I'm doing a couple of like financial literacy presentations. Sadly not.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Just the books. Just the book publisher. Oh, I see. Staffed by Penguins? My book publisher. No. Yeah, they staffed the Penguin reception.

How about I check and report back? Pingu. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Underrated. Anyway. Wow, that's so exciting. New York, and then we're going to New Orleans for a finance conference at which both Jess

and I are speaking separately. Big dog energy. So one of us is on literal tour with our band, the others are going to a finance conference. Guess which who? We'll have a round table when we get back to report back our findings. I love it. I'm excited. What a week.

Yeah, what a week. What an absolute week. All right. Well, let's dive straight in. I am going to hopefully do the community money wins justice and I have a little rap to share with you guys. Are you ready? Are you going to rap?

Oh, like an actual rap? Oh. A little rap of like the list of... Oh, no. Someone drop a beat, Victoria. That's a rap. I knew Jess needed to be here for this episode. I knew bringing the two of you on together was a bad idea.

Okay. No, no, no. I have a rap of my favourite money wins from our community money wins thread. got you from the start of the week so let me start we had a money win from Jackie which I thought was really wholesome Jackie said my eight-year-old son had a stall on our front lawn selling all of his unwanted things he made over three hundred dollars he then spent a hundred dollars on himself and put two hundred dollars into savings good on him eight years old what a little legend you know why because people can't say no to cute little kids when they're selling

stuff out the front of their house they shake you down for money and you're like take it all that's very true like have you ever walked past a lemonade stand run by a five-year-old no because that's illegal it's illegal it's illegal all right the next comes from madeline and this is just one of my favorite money wins ever she says i paid off my credit card and i closed the account this week oh how good is that and you just know it's good because so many people from our community have replied to that with like love this such a great feeling what a huge relief and like there's more than a hundred likes on that post as well. I love how when we have our money wins, you guys all jump in and celebrate each other. It's my favorite thing ever. Someone else. So we've got

Imogen. Imogen said, last year I won the She's on the Money Christmas giveaway. Guys, we will have another one. Don't worry. She said, and I won a thousand dollar Jetstar voucher. I recently used part of it to take my plane obsessed toddler to the Gold Coast for her birthday and on her very first plane ride she had the best time and is constantly asking to go again and is pointing out whether she can see quote our plane or a different plane in the sky every day i often tell people that she's on the money has changed my life but this is really something that would have been well out of budget for us and never would have happened that's really sweet that's right now someone under that said what's sotm and someone was like she's on the money you're in the

group. And I just thought that was really funny to keep us a little bit humble at the same time. Ellen says, I had my eyes on a desk from Ikea, which was $430, including delivery. I just found the same desk on Marketplace with a small scratch for 50 bucks and I picked it up on Saturday. We love it. Yeah, sick. Isn't that so good? That's great. All right. I've got two more. I've got two more, my friends. Catherine, she says,

I just invested my first $10,000 outside of superannuation and may be doubling it soon due to a trauma insurance payout. It's not the most ideal situation to be in at the age of 21. I'm in the process of an MS diagnosis after a whole bunch of upheaval with my life, but I'm determined to not let it impact my goal and I want to live the life I've always dreamed of. Oh, good on you. Isn't that so wholesome?

I'm just like, get it, queen. Absolutely. And then my last one is, this is from Lisette, and I just thought this never happens in real life. Lissette says, after a really long time of religiously doing That's Life puzzles in the magazine every week. No. I had a good win.

I won 10 grand. What? She won 10 grand. That's amazing. Did a crossword. We need a bell to ring. I know. That's crazy.

I know. When it's like the best money. I'm just like, you're doing your crossword, you're having a good weekend or, you know, a little afternoon with your cuppa. Bet you didn't think that would turn into 10 grand. A little bit of a Tim Tam, a cup of tea. I know, right?

Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry, Lissette, if that's not what you're doing. And you're like, Victoria, I'm, like, on my way to my corporate high-flying job. Yeah, wearing Malolo blanks or something. Yeah. You will be now. Yeah, well, you will be now because you can afford them.

But those are my community money wins of the week. Wow. Oh, my gosh. And I'm winning $10,000 for doing a crossword. I know. Me and my mom used to do those. So I'm going to get back on them. Get back on them because it turns out people in our community win them.

You can win. Also, really quickly back to the lemonade stand thing. When we said it's illegal, I wanted to just clarify, not selling lemonade is illegal, walking past lemonade stand is illegal. Just in case, because my brain went to that and I was like, maybe someone else's did too. As a producer, I should have picked you up on that, shouldn't I? Oh, no.

I'm enthralled in the conversation. You can't be a producer right now. All right, speaking of wins, I feel like a lot of people in our community have recently been having wins because they're actually implementing your Bex Broke tips. Oh, do you think so? Yeah, I'm even getting messages now because people are like, V, I need this DM to get to Beck, but I don't have Instagram. Here it is. And I'm like, I've got you. I'll screenshot it. I'll text

it to her. Let's get it done. Oh my gosh. Thank you guys. What broke tips have you got to share with us this week? Okay. So the first one comes from Abs who says, hey Beck, I have a broke tip for you. Every now and then I get my lashes done for free. How? What she does is she does this by modelling for a lash tech who teaches classes. So she goes to get her lashes done for free by someone who is supervised by a professional. Same thing as hairdressing. She gets her hair cut by a hairdressing apprentice, also supervised by a professional.

Does a cut and colour. Free or very cheap at least. I know we have an episode on girl math, well, girl math and investing coming up in the not too distant future. Girl math is sexist. Spoiler. I'm getting absolutely sexist. I am getting money loss for me, getting my lashes redone before I go away.

Oh, no, no, no. Because I can't afford to not because then I'm wasting money on makeup, right? You're right. This way I just don't have to. So I've been getting my lashes done since I found out I was pregnant because I feel like a sack of potatoes. And I feel like if you put a pair of lashes on a sack of potatoes, the potatoes become pretty.

Mrs. Potato Head is a hot icon. Right, have you seen her lashes? She's hot. Yeah, she was my childhood crush. Yep. Who wouldn't? There's obviously something about Mrs. Potato Head too. I love it.

So I have been justifying it because I'm like, well, these lashes are going to help me feel like a human being. Oh, V. But you deserve your lashes. Oh, I've got to get lashes. Otherwise I feel like a little bald bandicoot. That's not an option. Okay, but do try.

Like a little naked mole rat. But I get them done by The Apprentice too. Yes. And I think I paid $50 for my last ones. Yes. And they're like the expensive ones. I got a full body wax once for free. Full body.

That's terrifying. It was an experience. You'll, like, take absolutely everything from the eyebrows down. You're like, wait, I don't even have that. Oh, ouch. Not anymore. Bet you didn't see that coming. How very was your back?

I didn't see the face or what was coming. Pray tell. All right, all right, all right. Definitely off mic, I'm going to. All right, we can talk about this later over actual Friday drinks. But until then, I need your other Bexbroke tip, and then I want to hear yours. Okay.

This next one is from Marina. who says that they buy a bag or two of frozen dumplings and cook them up at home. A bag lasts a few weeks and it is a delicious treat that still lets them feel like they're having a fancy dinner. Ten out of ten, recommend. Frozen dumplings. I love them.

Actually, it sounds really good. Tiny food makes you feel fancy, don't you think? Tiny food, that's true. Like things that are like, oh, canapes. Yeah. Yeah, hors d'oeuvres. Yeah. Hors d'oeuvres.

Yeah, hors d'oeuvres. Hors d'oeuvres. We do know how to say hors d'oeuvres, but that's not the point. Mini Oreos. Okay, that's a different train. But it's true, and I feel like every second week or so, dumplings at Coles or Woolies are on sale, and I don't think anyone should be buying their frozen items full price.

No. Because of, like, the cycle. You just know they're going to be on sale. And if a bag of frozen dumplings is $14, absolutely not. Like, I'm going to wait until it's $7. Thank you. Absolutely. And also, you know, like, frozen spring rolls,

you can get a big box of, like, $250 for, like, $6. Where are you getting 250 spring rolls? Maybe I made that up. Okay. All right. Well, let's move on. What's your actual broke tip? Because that was a trash one.

Okay. My actual broke tip for this week is probably also a little bit trash, but useful for people like myself in times of need. So there have been times where I've gone to the fridge and gotten out a little thing of butter. There's no butter left, you know, when you have to like really dig into the corners. I just put it in the microwave and then I pour it all over my bread.

I mean, it's a great idea. Or, like, you know, I've used vegetable oil and stuff, like things that aren't, you know, it's kind of dodgy. Oh, I would prefer no butter. Sometimes when you need, you use literally anything, mayonnaise. Anyway, enough of that. But I saw this, I think it was a TikTok of this person who was doubling or even tripling the amount of butter they had by literally just whipping it,

maybe adding a little bit of milk and whipping it. And so if you like, if you feel like you need a little bit of butter to last you a long time or you just literally can't afford butter for the week or whatever your circumstance might be. Whipped butter feels bougie too. You whip the butter. If you literally can't afford like a handheld electric one, you just, whatever you need, like get some, get a fork, get a whisk, whatever. And that will help elongate or prolong. Is that the right word? It stretches it, right?

It stretches it. It stretches it. Some people cannot afford these things. No, but like butter's expensive. Butter is really expensive. and bougie whipped butter kids would love that totally 100 i love that that is a very good tip beck thank you all right very much let's go to a really quick break but after the break we're going to be talking about our money dilemma we've got someone who wants to talk about how to manage

various different accounts and then we are going to be unpacking something that you slid into our dms about which this week is all about a partner who doesn't prioritize savings don't go anywhere guys All right, we are back, my friends. Let's have a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's On The Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this

week's Money Dilemma. Hi, She's On The Money team. I recently read your chapter on cash flow and I'm intending on opening another savings account. Now, I currently have a short-term savings account and I also have a savings account which I don't make contributions to, which my parents have been contributing to since I was born, which I'm very grateful for. should I open my new savings account with the intention of it being my emergency fund or long term savings I don't know whether the account which I don't make contributions to should be considered my emergency fund or long-term savings account or am I just overthinking this thank you I think everyone is good at overthinking it but Annalisa I'm just going to jump right in here

yeah you're fresh to the table what are your thoughts I'm highly qualified to answer this question yeah well she has her own band as uh as uh reading from the book of victoria divine i can say straight up if you have any consumer debt you pay that off first but what's the most important thing your emergency fund fund get that emergency fund going honey so we don't even need me because like our producer just knows me like the back of her hand so she's like i am ai victoria oh that would be terrifying i mean kind of great does that mean i do less work because 10 out of 10 And it's to get your emergency fund going if you can. And that's not the first thing you should do, of course, pay off any consumer debt, but it sounds like fortunately this lovely-

If you're not in any consumer debt, you are correct. The next step would be really focusing on an emergency fund as the next hygiene box to tick. But it's interesting because I don't think you gave us enough context for me to be able to appropriately go, oh, well, this, that, the other. So let's pretend you've got your short-term savings account. For me, I wouldn't be looking a short-term savings account as something to rely on because obviously it might be for your next holiday, Annalisa, or it might be for you to get your car serviced or something. Is that what she means by short-term? Usually, it's all those things that you have to save for. It's those things that you have to save for that you will spend the money on in less than 12 months usually.

So, short-term savings is anywhere between, I would say, 12 to 24 months. Anything above and on that I would look at as more longer term savings. You mentioned that you have a savings account that your parents were contributing to. That's fantastic. But how much is in that? So is that amount enough for an emergency fund? So pretend you have nothing. Pretend you don't have any of those accounts because at the moment I can tell they're overwhelming you. You're like, where should I be? What should I do? How much do you want in an emergency fund if you've got one? So what does that look like? For most people in our community, they want at least three months worth of their expenses. So we're not talking three months worth of expenses and savings and

all your investments. We're just like, all right, Bec, if SH1T hit the fan tomorrow, how much would it cost you for three months to just put food on the table, pay your rent and pay your bills and be okay? What would that look like? And you might go, oh, V, that's like $5,000. And I go, okay, no worries. That might then become your goal for an emergency fund. There's no right all wrong when it comes to emergency funds because you might go, V, I see your logic, but I'm an anxious girlie and I need $10,000. There might be no rhyme or reason to that. That's just a number that's in your head that makes you feel comfortable. You do you. I don't care. You might also go, I don't care about an emergency fund. I see your logic. And I raise you my logic,

which is only $500 in that account. At which point I go, that's fine. As long as it's a confident, educated decision where you know that you know our community usually have three months but you've got some reason as to why you're comfortable with that again there's no right or wrong there's just guidance where I think everybody always wants a number right like every time I talk to someone about how much should I be saving they're always saying what percentage of my income should I be saving and I go I can't tell you that because if I said 10% back that's wildly inaccurate for a single mum who's on an income of $40,000, but definitely not enough if you're a radio podcast producer on $400,000, you know? Sorry, which ones are on that much? Hey, I'd like to meet that

person. No, but do you know what I mean? These things don't make sense for everybody. So we need to make sure that they make sense for our circumstances. So pretend your short-term savings aren't there because you've obviously got that pre-allocated. You then need your emergency fund. Whether your emergency fund is that account that your parents have set aside for you or not, It's going to depend on whether you would be willing to get rid of those funds if an emergency arose. So if your parents have been saving for a really long time, but the intention of that was maybe to be a house deposit or something like that, that's not your emergency fund,

my friend. But if you got into, you know, a little bit of a bingle, no one was hurt, but you ran into the back of somebody, a little bit of a prank, would you be happy spending that money on fixing your car? If the answer is no, we need to not look at that as your emergency savings or your emergency fund. So a long-term savings account, fantastic. But what are our long-term goals? So before you said you had just finished my chapter on cash flow, thank you. You would know that I recommend having at least three savings accounts or short-term, a long-term and an emergency. Do that however you

wish. I don't think that there is a right or a wrong, but what I'm hearing is that amount, especially in the tone that you said, oh, my parents have been saving it for a really long time, I'm going to make the grand assumption that's probably not your emergency fund because the intention of those funds was probably not to get you out of that little bingle that you had with your car. It's probably for longer term goal setting. It might be for a future wedding or a holiday or something life changing, whereas you might need to work up your emergency fund and have that segregated out. So have a think about what the money wants to go towards because sometimes money does have emotional attachment, right? Like your parents saved for a really long

time. You might not want to blow that because you ran a red light and have to do the really expensive speeding fine, you know? Wise words, V. Very wise words. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk, guys. All right, let's move on because we have this week a community DM. Speaking of savings. Speaking of savings. Savings and spendings, isn't it? Posted this on the stories the other day, and you guys were spicy, to say the least. What you got, what you got? All right. So here's the DM. Hey, ladies, would love to hear your advice. My boyfriend and I have

been together for a few months now and things are going so well. Congrats, Queen. Nice. I feel so happy being with him and I haven't had a connection like this in a long time. But? The only thing is. Okay, here it is. We got onto the very fun topic of finances the other day and I found out he only has $3,000 in savings. I'm not sure, but is this a red flag to you? We are both in our mid-30s and I have solid savings and an investment portfolio. Now, obviously the relationship is new, but at the same time, at the age of 36, I'm thinking about the future and I want to settle down and have a family one day. It's not something I'm judging him on and it's not like I need my partner to have heaps of money, but it does feel slightly concerning that he doesn't have any financial

goals at this age. Do you think I'm overthinking it and I should stop worrying about it? Or do you think it's a serious word flag and I should really reconsider this relationship. Please help. She's on the money. Good heavens, girl, you need to cool your jets. Whoa. I'm just going to jump straight in there. We're in a cost of living crisis, Karen. Only $3,000. That's so much money. Oh my good Lord. Also, someone who saves at all probably has some financial goals of saving. To jump straight to has no financial goals, that is brutal. That is. Me with zero savings listening to that was like, okay,

I don't think she would ever date me. When I started dating my husband, I was in significant personal debt. So what's that saying now? Am I a walking red flag? And mid-term, like, I don't know. I think that's something. Okay, it sounds like we're all on the same side of the table. Yes.

We're on his side. We're like, get it, king. Yeah, I bet he's a sweet prince. Well, yeah, you think he's a sweet prince, and now we're looking at his bank accounts. Also, a few months in, like, okay, my mum gave me a very good piece of advice. Okay. And that was.

Is this going to rock my relationship, Annalisa? Because I'm pregnant. No, no. There's not a lot of going back. I think you did well. No, new partner, new job, new house, new friends. Four months. Don't make any opinions up until at least four months in.

So how many months are we talking? Firstly, yes, it's going well. If it's not going well. She said three. In that time. Oh, she said three. So we're not at the four-month mark. We're not quite at the four-month mark.

Yeah. Would she say three? Wait, even though she said a few, I think. A couple? A few? Yeah, she said a few. Okay. Very general.

In my head, a few months is definitely three. Okay. Yeah, because a couple, you would say a couple would be two. A few is three. Yeah. Wait, another few. Right? You reckon?

I think. I think we need to know more about money stories and backgrounds. We always need to know what's going on. Bec, what would your thoughts on this be? Are you saying wait a few months before you? I just think she's, like, peaking really, really quickly. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And worrying.

Firstly, I think $3,000 is perfectly fine, but it also, it depends. Like, what does this person do? Do they earn hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and aren't capable of saving anything? Are they unemployed and they have $3,000? Like, what's, anyway, what's going on? We need a lot of context. We need so much more information here.

So I guess, like, it obviously depends on if you have joint financial goals that might make it tricky if someone's like, I actually probably not going to save or I actually don't have the same financial goal as you. But like, yeah, it's been three months, wait a little longer. Let's say hypothetically it had been years and they're both trying to save for a house or something. I don't know. I mean, like, I guess it makes it tricky, but I wouldn't call it a red flag. I would be like, you know, just maybe if you in a few years time decide to have the same financial goal and only one party is putting in the effort, then just like, I don't know, put in this amount. The other person puts in their amount when you go to buy a house or buy a car

or whatever. And then if you ever sell it, you get yours back, they get theirs back. You don't split everything in the middle. You don't have to split everything in the middle. You know what I mean? It doesn't always have to be. Relationship equity. Yes. So I don't know. I think, don't worry. Beg things. Just don't worry, guys. Don't worry. I think to summarize me, put a bookmark in that page, in that part of the chapter, and you revisit that a little bit further down the line, because I think it's a bit soon to be. Yes. Highlight it.

I like that you know he has $3,000 in savings, because that to me is a reflection that you've had some conversations about money, which is very positive, especially at that point in a relationship. Like early on, you kind of bury your heads in the sand. As I said before, when I got with my now husband, I was in significant personal debt and I hid it for a really long time. I didn't, like, lie about it but I just didn't tell him. And then when I did tell him, he was kind of like, ooh, red flag but we're in love so this is a bit deep.

And you're like, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, sucker. Don't do what I did. Like, do what I say, not what I do. Like, anyway, I just think it's such a hard situation to be in because you don't know enough about the money story and where that's come from. Like, you know, has he just been a party boy?

Like, has he just been living his best life? Did he just spend $30,000 the year before going and having this Euro trip of dreams and had saved up for that and, you know, had gone, I'm single, I'm going to live my best life. And then he's met you, the love of his life, and his priorities are going to shift. I'm not trying to romanticize it. Nobody needs to have the same life goals. But I remember I was in personal debt and I had my head in the sand until I met my husband and I was like, oh, I really need to get my stuff together. Like, I really want to build a life with this person. I really want to share these financial goals and buy a house and all of that. But up until that point, I was kind of like, I just do what I want.

I'm a single lady. I don't even care. And like, I just think that that's valid. Also, we're in the middle of a cost of living crisis. Like three grand is a lot of money to have in the bank. And if you look at what the average Australian can do, the average Australian cannot access $500 in an emergency. He's above and beyond that. Get it, King. Get it. Like that's so good. That's financial security. Maybe that's his emergency fund. Totally. Maybe he's working his way up in a career where he, you know, actually has been really, really poorly paid. I don't know. You haven't told me. Maybe he's been a med student for the last seven years and has lived off $20,000 a year. And all of a sudden he's going to, you know, go do his training as an anaesthetist and

be on half a million dollars a year in the next 10 years. Like you don't know that you haven't given me that context. So I think it's important to sit down, not necessarily judge how much he has, but more those money habits. Like, is this because, you know, he's been on a drug rampage and he has a coke addiction? You don't know. But do you know what I mean? Like there's so many different things that come into this and I don't think it's our place to judge, nor do I think it is your place to judge. But if you see a future with this person talking about, well, what does saving together look like in the future? Probably not three months in, let's be honest. Like, To me, if you were getting a shared account at three months, I'd be like, babe, red flag.

But just having these conversations, do you want to plan holidays together? If so, what does contributing to those holidays together look like? If you want to, you know, let's pretend it's a year down the track and you're like, oh, we really want to get married and have a baby and all of this other stuff. What does that type of contribution look like? Because they're all different, right? Like, you know, he might not have had financial goals until he found meaning in his life and you might be that meaning. I don't want to be too dramatic, but like, you just don't know what you

don't know. Because this dude literally had no financial literacy like I was when I was younger, got himself into a mountain of debt, just gotten out of it. And that's the first three grand he saved. And he's so ridiculously proud of that because he has gone from being in mass amounts of consumer debt to having three grand in the bank. Are you now downplaying it because you're like, oh, it's not much. Is that a red flag? No, look at what he's done. Sure. Does that make sense i don't know i just think it's way too early before our community judges like we've got to not spend too long on this but but i just thought of something that could throw a little bit of it and i'm interested in your perspective on this a little bit of a devil's advocate here okay um if

this is so triggering for her and she's peaking this much this quick maybe he's not the right one for her right and it's not actually about him it's about her maybe she's really insecure like it sounds to me like she's very frantic and very anxious about this stuff so actually also maybe babe if you're red flagging at this point then you shouldn't try to change him yeah like do you know what it's easy it's easier to change the man than his financial priorities i'm telling you that right now i just switch out the man yeah you'll be right that's probably terrible advice But it's literally easier to change the man than change a man. Like I just think of it as.

I see what you're saying. Like you can't change somebody so just get a new somebody. Maybe this person needs like someone on Shark Tank. Yeah. 100%. Whoever those people are. All right, let's ask the community. Yes.

I was surprised by this. 48% of you thought that was a red flag. What? I know. Oh, no. All right, we then asked, do you think money matters more in a relationship the older you are? 82% of you said yes.

Well, do you think you need to have similar money values and goals for a relationship to work? Yes. You're correct, 88% of you said yes. Okay, one last thing. We said if this were you, what would you do? So 2% of you said we'd consider ending the relationship. 2%.

2%. 2%. I'm happy with that. 88% of you said I'd talk to them about my concerns. Yes. Communication is key, my friends. And 10% of you said, just stop overthinking it and go and enjoy your relationship.

I think we're part of the 10%. You're part of the 10%? Yeah. I would talk to them about it. I wouldn't bring up, hey, I'm concerned that you only have X. I would literally just be like, hey, how did you grow up around money? Like let's have these money conversations. Let's have a psychological deep dive right now.

But fair. My poor husband. I'm always like, so how do you feel about that? And he's like, yeah, good. And I'm like, that's not a good enough excuse. What are you going to say now? Yeah. Could you just deep dive into how you're feeling right now?

why do you think he was so defensive when you said, yeah, fine? Yeah, sure. Fair enough. Lucky. All right. So then we said, what are your two cents? We'd love to hear. Let me read out some of the responses. I've obviously summarized a few. One of you said, the amount isn't a red flag. The lack of goals is. I get that. But also, how do you know he doesn't have any goals? How do we know? How do you know? Because you're wondering whether $3,000 is a red flag, but you haven't asked what that three grand is for. Yes. Or where it came from. How you got here. Someone said, do you know that he doesn't have any other money or investments somewhere else or is there a genuinely good reason for this amount? Has he potentially gambled in his life is something

that someone else has asked. Definitely speak to him because financial security is important in a relationship and it's clearly important to you. Someone said there could be a lot more going on behind the scenes you need to ask. Someone else said pull your head in three grand's a lot of money. I'm like, yeah, that's absolutely correct. Someone else said my marriage has ended recently for this reason. Oh, but it's true. Like communication is key. If you're not on the same page as your partner, like finances are so deeply intertwined. Like if you're not on the same page financially as your partner, you're just going to feel as though you're going in completely different directions. If one of you wants to do this big life goal thing and the

other doesn't, like at some point that's going to feel like a very big spanner in the works. And it doesn't matter what it is. It might be a holiday. It might be buying a house. It might be buying a dog. But these things get in the way of having a successful relationship. Someone else has said, look, three grand still shows some ability to save. I think it's way better than finding out he has debt that he hasn't told you about. Sure. Couldn't agree more. Someone said, how much money would you have expected him to have? What would have made you happy? That's a good question. It's a bit of a pervy question that I didn't even ask her. I was like, well, what were you expecting? Right. Like, what if you saw five grand? Would that be okay?

Were you expecting 50,000? Were you expecting half a million dollars? Yeah. I love that one about debt too. It's like, what if he has 10 grand, but he's got like, you know, thousands of dollars worth of debt? Yeah. Many thousands of dollars. Like, is that better? And some people do that. Because it's like, he's got more money. 100%. 100%. Obviously there were hundreds of other responses here, but this one I will leave you with. It was, I think it's really important that you sit down and talk about your money stories. He has a life that he lived before you and it might be beautiful to share that. Lovely.

Isn't that cute? That's such a she's on a money note to end. I love our community so much because I'm always like, yes, that's exactly what I would have said. Totally. We're all on our own journey. And we're all on the same page it seems. Communication is key.

Communication is key. 100%. And kindness and anyway. All of that fluffy stuff. All of that fluffy stuff. All right. unfortunately, guys, I do think that is all we have time for today. So we

hope you have the best Friday. Annalisa, thank you for joining us on the show and have the best time when touring the United States with your actual real life band. Right back at you, Victoria Devine. Imagine being invited to the US to tour. Like it wasn't even that you decided to do that.

You were invited to tour the United States. Okay, stop banging on about it. But isn't that big dog? And you're invited to speak. So I cannot wait to hear about the best from FinCon. Hopefully we're going to get some of it on the show, yeah? Oh, you'll get some of it on the show. You'll definitely get some of it on the show.

I'm obviously excited about that because cannot wait to talk about financial literacy. But it's Friday, we have to go. We hope you have the best weekend and we'll see you bright and early for a Money Diary on Monday. Bye, guys. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money

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