She's On The Money - Kate Langbroek Gives You the Pep Talk You Needed!

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Get ready for takeoff as radio star, #1 podcast host, author (and just about everything else) Kate Langbroek, joins Jess as co-pilot on today's show! Discussing everything from cultural exchanges and castor oil, to capitalism and KFC, tune in as Jess stresses Kate out with all the ways she can save her money which she just won't adhere to! Plus they give valuable insights into your questions this week on concern around losing you identity when having a baby, and also whether you choose career or wonderlust? Check out Kate's brand new podcast The Buck Up here Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today is Friday, which means it's time to get the team together and celebrate you, the incredible She's on the Money community. Today, I'm flying solo. I've been left to my own devices. Victoria's in Europe, Paul Beck is sick, but fear not, because I do have someone ready to chime in over here. No, if you're at the pilot's seat and you've just announced to the people on the plane that you're flying solo, if I am the person that you want to stand up and go, I'll help you.

Oh, absolutely. Anyway, I will. If anyone we want you, for those who don't recognise the iconic voice, we've got the wonderful Kate Langbrook joining us today. Well, hello. I did jump the gun on introducing myself and chipping in. Oh, any time, please do. Is this the rudder?

Do we turn left? Do we turn right? Well, we do whatever we want. Make sure you put your own mask on first before you help those around you. We might be like, was it Scully, Tom Hanks, you know, who landed the plane in the middle of the Hudson River? Sully. Sully.

Sully. Close. Oh, Scully is, yeah, the truth is out there. Look, Annalise has already proven herself to be invaluable. Absolutely, as she always does. For those of you who don't know Kate Langbrook, she's absolutely everywhere. You're a new podcaster, comedian, radio legend.

You've truly done it all. So we're so excited to have you joining us today. Well, I'm very happy because we have cohabited for many years. When I was doing the show with Husey, you guys, I think that was maybe before you came on board, but Victoria was always in with the dog and the bow in its hair. Oh, Lucy. She's an icon. Oh, she's stunning.

Anyway, so, and I've always been quite intrigued by The Pot. Oh, thank you. It's a very good service, even though sometimes I find it shames me unwittingly. No, no, no. Well, we're here for everyone. Everyone's on their own money journey. And so I'm so excited to pick your brain. Fear not, everybody.

We're going to stick to the usual format. So I've got some money wins to share. Bec sent along some broke tips, despite being away, that I can share on her behalf as well. And then we're going to be answering a juicy money dilemma. This week, it's all about the fear of losing your identity when you become a new mum. I feel like that one's going to get very, very, very deep. So interesting. And then we're going to also unpack something that you slid into our DMs about, which this

week is talking about job security versus wanderlust, which I think is something a lot of people are thinking about. And I'm so excited to hear your thoughts because you did a huge move overseas to Italy, didn't you? Yes, for two years. Wow. With my husband and our four children. The whole fam.

That would have been a huge change. Yes, huge. I'm so excited to hear all about it. But we'll go in order. We'll stick to format because I feel like I can't mess things up too much. You just tell me. You're the pilot. All right, everybody.

I'm the co-pilot and Annalise is going to come along with some peanuts and tomato juice. Serve them to our lovely guests. They're very good at altitude, apparently, tomato juice drinks. Yeah, something about the salt. Oh, there you go. I never would have thought. I don't love tomato, if I'm honest.

No one loves it on the ground. Yeah, let alone in the air. Bloody Mary's restorative. But in the air, it comes into its own. There you go. The more you know. There's a tip. Write that down, listeners.

Somebody's scribbling in a notebook somewhere. How has your week been, Kate? What have you been up to? I feel like you're one of those people who's out and about and doing a million things. This week was unusual or last week was unusual for me because I was in Vietnam with a girlfriend of mine. Amazing. And we went for five days without husbands or boyfriends or children.

That sounds like a dream. So we had five. Oh, it was heavenly. It was heavenly. It was hot as Hades. It was really humid. It was great. Got up to all kinds of mischief.

What's your definition of mischief? We enjoyed ourselves enormously, put it that way. Oh, wonderful. Oh, that's beautiful. Well, I'm very jealous. It's been so rainy here in Melbourne. It's been. Hey, it rained every day in Ho Chi Minh.

Did it? Yeah, it did. It was that real tropical. Warm but rainy? Yeah, but the air was just heavy all the time. Not good for the hair. Terrible for the hair, but you had to abandon. You know when you're travelling in countries like that,

in Asia particularly, and you have to abandon all notions of what traditionally like what you'd look like when you go out or what you just have to embrace some sort of weird hippie chic look which is frizzled and frazzled and crumpled and a bit damp anyway you feel great it's a return to your natural self though i feel like because you don't wear makeup it's gonna slide off your face you don't do your hair it's very like i feel like good-for-yourself image almost. Oh, it's fantastic.

And you don't look in a mirror because there's only desolation. There was a mirror at our hotel that was a magnifying mirror and I'm like, oh, this is great. I can pluck my eyebrows. But then my girlfriend Alice said, I am not looking in that thing. And then I noticed as the week went past, I was just like, oh, it's really bringing me down. I feel like they're like those carnival mirrors because they warp you

and they just – It's never good. No, no, no. It's never good. It's never, ever fun to look at. Well, I'm very jealous nonetheless. I would really like to go to Vietnam. It was great.

I've heard very good things. And you would like it. You know why? On this pod, it's such a cheap holiday. Really affordable. So great. You know, at one point we went to the SEV, to the 7-Eleven or Circle K, whatever, and we just got some snacks.

We bought some beers, some snacks, some chips, some lollies to take home to the kids, you know, strange, you know, Vietnamese lollies. And when we got the bill, we were like, because we're always converting from dong, obviously, we went, was that $12? It was $12 for four beers. Oh, my God. And this is like a sieve. Couldn't get one beer for. Yeah, correct. Which there's always inflation in a SEV because of the 24-hour nature of them

and capitalism. Of course. Anyway, we were like, it's incredible, incredible. Wow. It's like that in Japan too. 7-Eleven, we lived at the 7-Eleven. I know Bec has just got back from Japan and I'm sure she had the same experience where you walk in and it's just like a mecca of fun things.

And they've got great food at the 7-Elevens in Japan. If the 7-Eleven here was like the 7-Eleven over there, an interesting tidbit. I believe 7-Eleven Australia has just been bought by the same company that owns 7-Eleven Japan. Oh, really? Or recently, when I say just, but random. Hopefully ours become more like theirs.

I would buy my dinner at the 7-Eleven instead of going. Yeah, because the food's beautiful there. Yeah, they had, like, full meals, chicken katsu, but really healthy, good food. Yeah, delicious. So, like, if you had that option, you wouldn't go to, like, a Macca's or something, you know, late at night when you just can't be bothered. No, you only go to KFC as they do Christmas.

You know, that's the traditional Christmas thing in Japan. What? Yeah. Is it? It's a massive thing for Christmas. I did not know that. Which they might not even celebrate Christmas, but they certainly celebrate KFC. I can absolutely get on board with that because if there's one thing I like, it's fried chicken.

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Oh, look, we're off and flying. We are one and the same. You know who else is one and the same? The She's on the Money community. They're always picking up the vibes. They've always got some money wins to share. So let me give you a couple that I pulled out from the group this week.

There were some goodies. Firstly, Brianna said, money win. I purchased some special edition books from Amazon for $150. Very expensive books, but obviously she was excited. She said, instead, Amazon sent me two bottles of castor oil and no books. Classic. Wow. Castor oil is great though.

I'm big on castor oil. Yeah, castor oil is great. Oh, there you go. She said, marked it as a return and sent them back because obviously it wasn't what I ordered and they refunded the money. And then two days later, the books turned up. Money win. Yeah, fantastic.

And very hard to get one over Amazon. Capitalism, as we were saying. Jeff Bezos will be on a yacht to me. Oh, he'll be so angry. Shaken in his boots. Next, I've got a money win from Gemma who said, it's my birthday month. So I've been utilising lots and lots of freebies. Yesterday she went out with her son and got a free Gloria Jeans chiller.

She said she's gotten three drinks so far this month. And as someone whose birthday is coming up soon, I just want to remind everyone, go through your freebies. I saw a TikTok of a girl the other day who collected everything that she was in touch, like she'd signed up to every list she could think of. And she got like 12 meals over the course of two days. Yeah, because. So well organized though. Yeah, they tend to get lost in your 36,000 emails. I have, you know, I know, 46,000 actually.

And I deleted 3,000 of them over summer. Oh, gosh. I went, I'm going to delete 1,000 a day. And that lasted three days? Three days. And they're a renewable resource. I wonder, do you ever hit a point where they go, no more emails for you? No, they don't.

Until? No, they don't. Not yet anyway. And the other thing is vouchers. Don't even, you must talk about vouchers on this show. But vouchers are just such a punishment for me. Like a gift voucher? Yeah, gift vouchers.

I reckon I've had, look, I don't even know any money value, but I've had 100 expired vouchers that I've never used. Interesting fact for you, it's actually illegal for vouchers to expire. They can put an expiry date on them, but they can't enforce it. I know, but then, okay, so riddle me this. You're going to have a massage. You've just had an argument with the person who runs the massage. I was going to say massage parlour.

But about you're like, you cannot. I know it's illegal for you. The ACCC, blah, blah, blah. And then you're going to go into a darkened room and that person's going to rub you. How's that going to go? Well, I mean, usually you have the conversation afterwards, I would imagine, negating that issue.

Negating the deep relaxation you've enjoyed. Yeah, I want to be relaxed first and then I'll get angry afterwards. But hopefully, usually, I feel when you say, just so you know, you actually can't do that. Okay. So does that mean if you've got a voucher from 10 years ago? Theoretically, I think so. I mean, you would have to double check the website in case the law came in after that. Yeah, I know because I know they changed the law.

Yeah. So it would potentially be from the date that that was changed. Anyway, too late for me. They're all there. You've tossed them all. They're gone now. Even now when I get one, it's, thanks, straight in the bin because I know that it's just going to be clutter.

I'll never end up using it. Oh, you've got to re-gift. Terrible. Re-gift is the solution there. Yeah, good idea. I have given book vouchers to my husband's mother, who's very well organised. I'm sure she wouldn't say no to the massage vouchers either.

Next, I've got a money win. Good thinking. Saves you from being in the awkward position. Yeah, correct. She can have the argument. Exactly. Like, not my problem anymore. Next, I've got a money win from Steph,

who said she's in the process of making her home office a more functional and inviting space. She got on Marketplace to sort it out and instead of paying $400 for a desk with storage drawers, she paid $100. She got a printer for $40 and an Apple mouse for $30, which means the whole office is done for about $170. You know what? I don't want the free printer. I want the free ink. Oh, my God.

It's never there when you want it. That's the racket, isn't it? The racket is they'll sell you the printer for nothing and charge you an arm and leg on a subscription service for ink. You need like a laser printer or something. where it can just never run out. Doesn't a laser printer run out of ink? I don't know. I just assumed that it –

Did you just make that up? I don't quite possibly – Where do you think it's getting the ink from? Is it like a 3D printer that it just makes itself? I mean, you can tell that I don't print a lot of stuff. Hang on. Can we look at Annalise because she's laughing at this? Annalise, can you just shed some light here

because I think we've taken a dark turn. I assumed that the laser was, like, lasering the... I don't think so. I think it does it with laser focus, but it's still... I think it... I'm pretty sure it needs to... That's a million-dollar investment. That is insane. Also, for as smart as you are, that is incredible that you thought that.

Laser printers read the electronic data from your computer and beam this information to a drum inside the printer, which builds up a pattern of static electricity, which attracts a dry powder called toner onto the paper. So no ink? No, but you've got to fill up your toner. Toner ink. Wow.

There you go. It's like in the middle. I think in the middle. I don't think anyone was inked in. I'm going to say I wasn't wrong and that's all I care about. Do you know what? You're going to get the mail. You're going to get the mail on it.

It's a blue job, I think. I think so. Not a pink one. Next, I want a money win from Emma who said, I was recently in the US and I did some shopping while I was there. Duh. In some shops, you can choose to pay with local currency or the payment origin currency. She said it was really handy to keep track of the exchange rate, so she knew it was almost

always cheaper to buy in the local currency rather than having the retailer do the exchange. She said that, plus using a travel card, meant she didn't pay any of those sneaky fees. Yeah, my girlfriend just did this when we were in Vietnam. She had a card, not Revolut, but it was one like that. Yeah. And it was so great. I think if you're using a bank card that is charging you international transaction fees, you are giving your money away for free.

I think it is so silly. Guilty. Guilty. I know. You can download the WISE app if you want. No, I know. I know that there are systems, but predominantly the system, the system, is aimed at people like me who are like,

I don't have time. I'm just going to, do you take Visa? And then when you get home, you're like plus, plus their exchange rate. At the end of the month, you get like $600, like $1 trend. It kills me. There are a lot of apps. You can do it on your phone. You don't have to sort it.

I'll put that with the voucher jobs. Put it on the list. And then we've been asking our guests when they come on, you're part of the fam, you're here with us, do you happen to have your own money win or confession that you could share? Well, speaking of overseas shopping, I think that I had one. last week when I was in Ho Chi Minh, which is kind of a win but also a loss. But it's a win because I had a holiday.

It's a loss because it's expensive because you're going on a holiday. Yes. But because I've got four kids, three boys and a daughter, and they just burn through runners like nobody's business because that's all anyone wears now. And so many runners are made in Vietnam. So I got them all, I got them Birkenstocks, I got them runners for a fraction of what you would pay here. One of them was a dodgy copy, but the others were really good quality. Fantastic. So I think

that was a win. That's a money win for sure. Even though if you looked at my visa card. Plus 20 cents, plus $5. Correct, plus $3.17 conversion fee, etc. You would think, I can't see the win. My dad always said when mum would go shopping and mum was always big on sales, she'd go, look what I got, honey. It was reduced and reduced further and blah, blah, blah. Dad would always say Dutch, you know. He would say, show me the money you've saved.

Oh, where is it? Show me the, yeah, where is it? That's very clever. Yeah, very clever. We say when there's a sale, if you buy it on sale, you're still spending money on it, so. That's what he would say. Yeah.

Although he spoke more in Dutch riddles. Oh, yes. But, yes, so that was definitely a win. Well, I bet your kids would have been stoked. I feel like that's the best part of someone coming home from a holiday, especially parents, knowing that they're bringing a big old stack of goodies. They were so happy. They couldn't believe it.

Mum of the year after that one. I know. It was really good. And it was a lot of work because to shop for six people. Yeah. A lot of room in your suitcase shoes. I took an empty – I put a suitcase in a suitcase. Oh, that's so smart.

You came back with two full suitcases. I had to do the airport shuffle the last time I travelled because they would not let me. They were going to charge me like $100. Did you have to repack it? Oh, I hate the humiliation of that. All my friends had to open their suitcases so I could put stuff in theirs. Yeah, I know, and then you've got to remember who's got what.

Pretty much. I was like, just make sure my undies don't go in anyone else's case and apart from that, it's fine. And I love the way in that situation we all totally abandoned the rule of never let anyone put anything in your luggage. Oh, yeah. We're just like, yeah, put it in, put it in. Just get us out of this line and away from the embarrassment

of unpacking in front of everyone. Absolutely. Well, that sounds like, I'm going to call it a money win, not a money loss. Thank you. I think it was. I felt like it was a win. It definitely was.

And also saved me time here because, you know, where do you go here? You've got three shops. It's overwhelming too. If you go on a weekend, it's all so busy. Horrendous. The shops on the weekends are not for me. Now, wonderful Bec, who couldn't be here today, unfortunately, did still share some of her broke tips for us to share with the community.

Thank you so much, Bec. So let me give you what she sent over. If it's pick a bunch of rosemary and put it in a pot, I've already done that. You're once at the end of the game. I need another one. Well, I wouldn't have thought of it if it wasn't for her. It does enrage me when I go to the supermarket and I have to buy herbs. For like $8 a packet.

Crazy. Okay. some herbs, some I believe are worth the money. I never quibble about basil. Yes. I'm like, I've grown basil. It's hard. The snails love basil. It's only seasonal. But when you have to pay $4 a bunch for rosemary that grows like a weed. And you can find it anywhere. It's in hedges everywhere. Enrages me. I completely agree. Completely agree. Okay. Hit me. All right. First one from Becky. Very, very smart from her, but it's read the ingredients on your medication and check if there is a non-name brand alternative.

And now I know my pharmacist does this when I go. They say, do you want to just. Do a generic. Correct, because it's exactly the same thing. And I just had never considered that there was anybody out there who was saying no to the generic, if I'm honest. Like they're exact same ingredients. The pharmacist makes them.

Why do people say no to generics? I can't imagine. I mean, maybe they feel comfortable. like you know how sometimes it's like a yeah you know the name brand of something so you prefer it even if it is the same thing but yeah if you didn't know that buy the generic people surely next beck has a broke tip that was submitted to us by morgan and morgan said always activate the bonus offers in your flybys app before doing a grocery shop so if you didn't know there's an app that goes with flybys and they bring up like special challenges and offers so you might get

bonus points if you buy this specific I don't do flybys. You don't like flybys? No, I don't. I love them. I just don't do them. I don't do any loyalty cards. Life admin stuff. I just don't do any of that and we've got a friend me and my husband

who's in love with his Woolworths. He's always just sending us screenshots. He's got $10 off of it. It's become like a thing that and photos of macarons we send to each other because we have a universal hatred of macarons the most overrated you don't like macarons hideous horrible master chef challenge sure

but for eating no interesting very pretty for eating no okay agree to disagree on that no you can have all the macarons but you know what maybe we're a good match like i'll eat all the macarons and you can eat all of what is your preferred oh anything okay well you can have whatever the other option is i'll have everything else and you i'd like something savory actually Oh, see, I'm a sweet person, so we're a good balance. We're like Jack Spratt and his wife. You don't know that, do you? Millennial show.

Jack Spratt could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. So together then they lick the platter clean. Oh, there you go. Yeah. I'll be the platter and you can be Jack Spratt. Oh, no, I'm also butter. Oh, okay.

I'm butter. I'm everything that's not macarons. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay, perfect. Oh, my goodness. Fly-by's is great. I'm a fly-by's fiend, if you didn't know. I got a whole KitchenAid for free with my points.

Did you? They're like $800 to buy one of those. I love it because I love to bake. Yes. I love my KitchenAid. Me too. It's the best thing. What colour did you get?

I got white. It's so boring. Is it though? I think it's like classic. It is classic. What colour is yours? I've got orange. Oh, yours is much more fun.

I've got orange. But I think ours is really old because we got it for a wedding present and the motor burnt out on it last year and people were like, you need a new KitchenAid. I think I put up a video on socials of it because it was jumping all over the counter like it was walking. You couldn't just leave it beating and go out. You had to watch it.

And people said, oh, you need a new KitchenAid. And I went, I'm pretty sure I don't need a new KitchenAid. And then we found this company. Someone has told me on X there's a company that replaces all parts of kitchen appliances. Took it to them. Beautiful. New KitchenAid.

And it works perfect. When did we stop defaulting to repairing something instead of replacing? Because this is something that. When toasters became $10. Well, that's exactly right. Like it's so interesting to think about the habits that my parents had versus what I had and mending and yeah like I recently started like getting into sewing and you know repairing clothes instead of just replacing them and I think it's really interesting

because like financially like some of us you are buying the cheaper option sometimes because that's what's within our means and that's so fine but let's think about trying to repair those items when we can instead of just buying a new one because you can and because it's cheap I feel like When my mum comes over, and mum's a really good darner, mum does, we save all our buttons that need, all our hems that need doing. She does all of that when she comes over. And she darned one of Peter's socks, right? And the kids were watching her like she was a witch.

They were like, what is this spell? Yeah, but also they were a little bit contemptuous of it. Well, because people are so disposable with their thinking, even though they're the generation that are really reuse, recycle, repair and everything's eco at school, it wouldn't occur to them to fix a sock. As a country, we are the number one worst country for fast fashion in the world. Are we? Yeah. For how many we purchase. Really?

Yeah, like per capita or whatever. More than America? More than America. And we're a smaller country. What? Yeah, there was like a report recently, which I think is crazy. And that speaks totally to exactly what you're saying about how, yeah, we just go, oh, buy a new sock. How hard can it be?

But it's actually quite easy and more cost effective to learn to fix or to put a new motor in something that breaks or to do whatever you can. I was so thrilled with the new motor in the KitchenAid. And then we've got a dog, by the way, that started. He's adorable, Bart. He's a chewer. Oh, no. And so he's chewed, he chewed through the cord of my blow dryer that was in my daughter's room and he's chewed through, he's just chewed cords.

Yeah. So now we have to find someone, because I said to Peter, he's chewed too many things to replace them. Yeah. And the blow dryer was a really good blow dryer. They're quite expensive. I'm not just going to, yeah. Also, there's nothing wrong with it.

Yeah. Other than a dog. Got at the cord. Yeah, that's right. And you know there used to be all those little places that always have a dusty VCR in the window that they always had electrical repairs written on the window and some sort of curved writing. And it wasn't until I went to look for one of those, I went, I'm sure I've seen them. I went to look for one, I realised how rare they are. One of the things that maybe has disappeared over time because no one was using them.

That's so sad. Anyway, well, let's have a moment of silence. Where are those electrical repair? I'm going to say men. I never encountered a woman. what happened to them maybe they just retired that generation they all sold up and no one our age is doing it anymore now they're selling ten dollar toasters they're like what did i waste my life on oh my goodness well if anyone knows a good person in melbourne let us know but i think

that's a perfect spot for us to head to a really quick break and when we come back on the other side we're going to talk about owning your identity and balancing that with becoming a new parent, as well as whether or not you should put your job and your security above your desire to travel. Don't go anywhere, guys. Like chit chat. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money career and life questions to get involved simply head to our website and leave us a short voice

recording and you might just find yourself on the show now let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma hi guys i'm about to go on mat leave i'm pregnant with my first baby my partner and i went through a few rounds of IVF treatment so we're super stoked to be on this journey for a bit of context I'm pretty high up at a tech business and the further along my pregnancy is going I am freaking out it's kind of creeping up on me how much is expected of women how we have to be mom career and like we have to thrive in all of those different areas of life and how I guess do we balance it so I guess I just wanted to call to get a bit of insight or guidance or just like a bit of a pep talk so yeah thanks bye that's a big dilemma it's a million dollar

question really isn't it and also now is not the time that there's a few things in that one is the creeping worry that you have and also because she said she's just come off IVF so this she's had a lot of hormones there's a lot of surging hormones yeah so if you can just kind of mentally put that to one side which which you probably can't because they're surging hormones but it is a time often where you you have the the dual train track which is happiness and expectation and fear and expectation yeah traveling simultaneously your life is going to change if you don't want your life to change don't have a child too late now well that's really what it is yeah right but in my experience and i have four children what you learn about yourself happens in surrendering

to that yeah so the more you rail against these fears which at this point are unseen the fears you have here are the biggest fears that you'll ever face mostly that you there is an element of surrendering when you have a child and particularly if you're a woman who's been on a career trajectory that's quite formalized yeah very clear cut in your steps yeah yeah that when you have a child everything is the opposite of that yeah and you actually have to follow the baby the baby a girlfriend of mine said before I had my first child the baby will tell you what it needs and it was the best advice also because it meant that you could surrender to it and so I wasn't one of those people that was like well let's do it the baby's got to get up

wake him up he's got to feed him 40 minutes and just and in my experience the less that you can try and be regimented the happier you will be and the baby will be yeah you know the baby's only instinct when it's born and everything the baby knows it's learned from you and because they're all antenna they pick up on they're very vibrational i think and so ill health aside anything that problems the baby has eating sleeping lala is probably down to you so the more relaxed and the more animal you can be in your instincts towards the baby which is just loving and warm and soft and comforting and healing yourself as well because it's a massive physical labour to have a baby,

no matter what way you have it. I think part of the beauty of it is when you see someone who's quite linear in their life and their thinking become more rounded in that sense. Yeah. Often that's chaotic and you don't feel great. and that's okay like that's part of the experience part of it it's really part of it yeah i think it's very normal i a few i'm at the age where a few of my friends are having kids now and

on seconds or thirds and i think a lot of them have experienced what our listener is that nervousness yeah particularly i think at your first child because as you were saying you're really going into the unknown you have no idea what to expect everyone's probably giving you their two cents about how to have birth and how to raise the kid and what to do when you're taking in all of this information, plus the hormones that you were, you know, you mentioned and all of those things. Congratulations, by the way, that's really exciting. It's fantastic. That's really wonderful. I think firstly, just acknowledging that that's so normal for you to feel that way. And it's something that only I think the people who are going through that

experience can understand like parents who aren't giving birth can still I think empathize with you or sympathize with you but I think that from what I've seen with my friends obviously I haven't gone through it myself but I think that it is such a unique experience and that existential feeling that you are having is coming from the unknown and also maybe from that fear of letting go because as women we know statistically more often than not after childbirth we end up on the back foot in terms of our career growth, in terms of our finances, in terms of our super and so I can imagine that there's maybe a little bit of fear around that especially if you've done a lot of work on your financial situation in the lead up to the baby. And it's an act of trust that for

a certain period of time you're not going to be able to work. Yes. You have to turn to your partner possibly to to bridge that gap yeah it's a really vulnerable time for a woman and the baby and in fact the whole relationship yeah so a friend of mine once said having a baby is like throwing a bomb in your relationship well because it just blows all the bits up in the air and then you see where they land yeah parts of it are thrilling and beautiful and exciting and parts of it are really frightening and confronting and exhausting and whatever. But there's nothing in life that I've ever done that was good that wasn't hard. Like nothing. Literally nothing. Like when I get up to go to boot camp or yoga or whatever, it's hard. Every time I do it, it's hard. When I

go shopping for six people it's hard it's hard it's hard yeah but you find the value in the hardness of it which sometimes i think we're a little bit inclined to avoid yeah in our comfortable lives yeah but you've got to go through the hard to appreciate the good and to appreciate well and to make something good absolutely like really you're doing the work if someone who's having children is doing the work of the nation it's beautiful work but it's work being a parent is absolutely work yes it can be a full-time job yeah it is a full-time job whether or not you've already got another full-time job yeah it's a full-time job and also I say this now my eldest is 20 and my youngest is 14 and it seems to be a job that doesn't stop yeah you think at 18 maybe

oh yeah sort of thought and it does happen to a certain extent but I remember when the kids were really little and of course because we had four under six so everywhere we went it was kind of like a mini circus that no one wanted to buy tickets to yeah it was just so it elicited a lot of attention wherever we went and there was a thing that my girlfriend and I were talking about recently where older women god bless the older women would come up to you and they'd always talk about the kids and, you know, with that nostalgia of someone who's been through it and seen a lot and they would always say this and at the time it really annoyed me.

They would say, little children, little problems, big children, big problems, and it really enraged me and my girlfriends at the time. Everyone had experienced it. Yeah. And now that the kids are older, we're like, oh, yeah, we get it. Oh, we get it. We understand. Yeah, we understand.

We understand. We understand. Yeah, I think I would say to our listener, just on the career note, your career does not need to end when you have children. And it's totally up to you how you would approach that. You may choose to become a stay at home parent. And that's awesome. And that's totally fine. But I think there is this idea that women hit almost an expiration date. And I think that is tied very closely to the, you know, the older ideal that women would, their only purpose was to have the children stay home and keep the house and blah, blah. which obviously we've moved well and truly past that. But I think that there are so many people that have achieved incredible things in their 40s, in their 50s, in their 60s. And if they had stopped pursuing what they wanted in their earlier life, as you were saying, if they hadn't gone through the hard, they never would have got there. And so I think I would just say, I understand the fearfulness around your career and how having children will impact that but there are hundreds

of thousands of parents all around the world who are making it work and who are there's more than that probably yeah i was gonna say i was gonna say across australia and then i went the world and then i just the universe there's a lot of people out there the martians the aliens are probably doing it too yeah it can work and i understand that it's scary but i think like really communicating with your partner and being open about what you need and what you want it's true and making sure that you're on the same page because you are so entitled to pursue whatever feels right for you with and you know your family and I just want to say that you can totally do it even if it maybe feels like that might be hard sometimes it feels impossible yeah and other

times I remember the first time going back to work with a baby it feels like there should be a hallelujah chorus singing because it is yeah when you walk in the door it is such it feels like an act of victory but it's hard one victory you know by the time you get out the door and often it'll be the first time in a month or months since you've been able to do that like without another little person on you it's an amazing thing also when you go back to work I think you tend to have a newfound respect for the women that came before you and I say women because I just don't think the relationship is the same for men in a physical sense and for the women that came before you that have done that you kind of look around the office

and people look a bit different yeah who have you're like oh you've done this wow yeah yeah It's just incredible. So I think, I hope that that pep talk is what you needed. Yeah, because we're incredible what we do. Absolutely. And there's no world without us. Not at all. We just can't completely give up the sense of our world.

Yeah. Hold on to your own identity. Yes. It'll still be there. But your identity will evolve. And that's okay. Fantastic. Fantastic.

Incredible. Now I do have, if you've got time, we've still got our Instagram dilemma to get to. So let me read. Give it to me. Let me read you what our listener said. They said, hello, she's on the money. I want to talk to you about a topic that I'm really struggling with right now. Work security versus wanderlust. I've been in a great job now for three and a half years. It pays well and I have a clear career trajectory, but I'm aching to move overseas for a bit and I feel I would regret if I never took a

chance and did it. I want to experience adventure and be pushed outside my comfort zone by moving overseas. But at the same time, my comfort zone is what gives me work security and a good income so I can one day achieve my goals. Making this move will likely see me burn through my savings and leave a good but boring job behind. How do I decide what the right move is? Are there some things that I should keep into consideration when making this decision?

Any help or words of wisdom would be appreciated. And I feel like this is truly your time to shine because you've been there and done that. How did you make the choice to move overseas and pick up your whole family and leave what you knew behind? I think if you're writing that you already know what the answer is yeah she's answered all her own questions which is and some people have got I didn't really have a yearning like I and I've written a book about this Ciao Bella six take Italy sometimes Italy took us but I talk about

that in the book because it was I think it's easy for people to say if you dream it you can do it I didn't really dream it in the sense that it was a dream that I'd had for 15 years or whatever. It really came from a casual conversation with my husband on our first ever trip to Italy, which was only two years before we moved there or three years before we moved there, that both of us had a desire for a different experience of life. And we've got a beautiful life here, but there was something

about it that we wanted both of us to experience something different and once that seed was planted that just grew yeah and it grew like jack and the beanstalk and even when I thought it wasn't and we were just immersed in our daily life which was intense and an Australian family life is intense even if you don't have a family it's intense but I just had to do it yeah we had to do it and it was the greatest thing we've ever done that's amazing and also going back to our conversation previously also one of the hardest things I've ever done yeah because nothing worth having is easy exactly how did you go about figuring out the logistics of like career and stuff because you had a huge incredible career. Well that was interesting because I had said to

when we decided it was going to happen and initially my husband Peter said to me oh it would be great to do this he said but you'll never be able to give up work and I said I would and he was like I don't think you could and he wasn't saying it as a challenge he was just like because you love your job so I was doing drive radio at the time with Husey so my first conversation was with hughesie to tell him yeah he didn't take it well because hugh doesn't understand he didn't understand any of that yearning because hughesie is a workaholic he's an aholic of many types like he loves giving stuff up yeah but he could never give up work and so he couldn't even understand when i he was like what are you gonna do all day

And I'm like, yeah, what are you going to do all day in Italy, mate? But none of those things have the same value for him as work. Anyway, then he talked me into working from there for the first six months. And bear in mind, this was before COVID, da, da, da. The concept of working remotely was not a thing. Isn't it crazy to think about? Yeah. Yeah.

So our producer, Sasha, who now is also the producer of The Bucker, the podcast I'm doing with Valvo. She came over to Bologna and set up a studio for me. And so I did the show for six months from Italy. And then I said to Husey, and then the other six months will be mine. But he was even trying to just come back after the holidays. And then we extended for another year because we loved it so much. It's the most, to take yourself out of the context of where people know you, people have expectations of you, there's a community of people wherever you live that know you and know what they think of you, school friends or friends

or family or whatever, to take yourself out of the context of that and arrive somewhere where you are, I'm going to say unencumbered by it. Some of that's a blessing, family and friends, whatever, of course. But unencumbered by it and where you are your essential self is the most incredible experience. Yeah. Incredible.

In good ways and bad, you know. Like sometimes I was just pitiful. Pitiful. Did you miss home? I miss the familiarity and all those things that I could take for granted about our Australian life. Yes. But people say outside your comfort zone is growth.

Well, that's it. And we talk about that though. But people now have brought back the notion of comfort to they can't have a conversation. They're not comfortable with it. Yeah. I'm talking about true, proper discomfort, which is literally outside everything you know, where you don't even know what direction to walk in a street. Yeah. To get to a shop.

And when you get in there, you will not speak the language of the person who runs the shop. Yeah. And then you won't know the way home and you'll get lost. I'm talking about that sort of discomfort. Yeah. Phenomenal. I've probably not sold it, but it's extraordinary and it's extraordinary what happens. You know, people always tell tales about when they're travelling, people they've met and they've

ended up with strangers at a thing and never would happen when you're at home. You're comfortable. And where you have patterns that you follow. Yeah. I completely agree with you. I think that it does sound like our listener knows that they want to go, but perhaps just needs a push or needs... But also I think you've got to back yourself. yeah so if I had not done that and I sometimes like to say that to Husey because I'd worked with him for 18 years and I like to hold my book up and say to him this is what two years of not

working with you looks like right yeah a best-selling book that I have written for my family and for myself yeah right so you have to back yourself and many of the things that I have done since we returned I would not have happened if I was still and I love working with Hugh and I love our radio show and I love him I love all of it yeah I never didn't like it that wasn't my thinking yeah but I've hosted two series of a reality tv show for channel nine I've written a book I'm writing another book I'm doing this podcast with Valvo yeah I did another radio show here with Monty. So just the world opens up in a different way, but you have to back yourself because if you don't back yourself, how's anybody else going to?

Oh, completely. And I think if it's career that you're worried about, again, this is the conversation that we really just had, but your career will always be there. I think in a sense, like you can, you can put it on pause and you can come back. And now people have like six careers. Yeah. And as with you, there may be an opportunity to work remotely. I think if nothing else, it's worth raising it with your, depending on what you do, of course, probably can't be a remote surgeon, but depending on what it is that you do, I would definitely raise the conversation with your employer because we've spoken before about how costly it is to a company to replace a good

employee. And so if you are a really integral employee and you've worked hard and they feel the same way about you, there may be some flexibility for you to be able to work. My niece is doing that at the moment and she's gone to the UK and she asked several times. So don't just be deterred at the first. If it's not in this role, maybe it's in another role. But you're right. No one wants to lose a good person. Yeah. And post COVID, it really is a whole different world out there. We really have been opened up to how easily people can do things. I mean, you did a radio show from the other side of the world who would have thought so I think definitely raise the question but if this

is something that as our listener said is a burning desire I think what have you got to lose do the math just make sure you can afford it financially don't put yourself in a hole don't put it all on credit think ahead and prepare and we've done episodes that can help you with that in the past but I wonder where she wants to go I know I'm so curious please come back to us and let us know I would love to know if it's Italy Kate can give you some tips but we do when we pop these up we ask everybody a few questions on Instagram just to get their input the people know the vibes so we firstly said is anyone else in the community experiencing this concept of work security versus wanderlust 75% of people said yes I've got the travel bug but I fear for my career

which is crazy how many people that is and 25% of people said no I don't feel the desire to travel or move. Next, we said, have you made the move overseas before and left behind a stable job to do it? 29% of people said yes, and it was truly the best decision I have ever made. 2% of people said yes, and I regretted it later on. 39% of people said no, but I really want to. And 30% of people said no, and I don't plan on trying it. So if you look at those numbers. Only 2% regretted it and that is such a small sliver the chances are really i think in your favor when it comes to doing this but it's not for everybody you see which is much like the world yeah isn't it i mean most people like for very good reasons a more charted course

and there's nothing wrong with that like no the world couldn't function if everyone wanted to go off-piste. Exactly, and do whatever they wanted. That's P-I-S-T-E, by the way. It is just one of those things, I think, do the work, make sure it's viable. But life is for living. And that's something that I've really been working on this year is just recognising the fact that you've got to work to live. That's what they always say about the Italians, not live to work. Yeah. And I think that you don't want to be, you know, one day on your deathbed and not able to travel and go, oh, if only I'd done that thing. So I think make sure you can do it. Absolutely. Do your due diligence, like we always say, but go for it. Why not? You can always come

home if you don't love it. So true. And Peter and I would say this all the time when we were in the planning stages of going and whatever. And when there was, there's a lot of attendant pressure, by the way, that you need to be prepared for if you decide to take that sort of leap. a lot of people don't like you doing it for reasons that I think are they think you're holding a mirror up to them and saying something about their life that's so strange it's sort of but people are like that all the time you know anyone who gives up drinking knows they have a lot of friends who don't like it yeah they lose weight they have friends who don't like it they you know there's something about the herd mentality sometimes of what we draw comfort in that everyone's

doing what we're doing right but if you can push through that the rewards of that are enormous i'm excited move over there come back and tell us how you went because it'll be a great money diary you've already got her coming back she might not come back no you might she can write to us even if she's not come back you can dial in from wherever you are exactly right and i think that is the perfect spot for us to leave it today kate thank you so much for joining us if people want to Hear more of your wonderful self. Where do they find you? The Buck Up Podcast.

We're on socials at The Buck Up Podcast. And we're on iHeart or anywhere you get your pods. And it's a money-back guarantee. Oh, there you go. She's on the money. Very nice. Money-back guarantee that at the end of the pod, you will feel better than you did at the start.

It's an antidote to the times. It's a great show. I really, really recommend you guys give it a listen. It's awesome. It's just a dose of joy, which I think we can all use at the moment, can't we? I think so. Absolutely. Who doesn't like joy?

Thank you so much for joining us, guys. Have an amazing weekend. And Victoria, we'll see you bright and early on Monday for a Money Diary. Brilliant. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes

and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of MoneySherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289. Thank you.