She's On The Money - Main Squeeze Budget T's & C's

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

Join us for another fabulous way to end the week as we celebrate your money wins, dish up some broke tips and answer a Money Dilemma about how to get out of a rut without compromising future you. Plus, you slid into our DMS this week about spending on yourself from shared bank account with your partner. How much is ok to spend? How do you communicate? There were lots of thoughts so don't miss it! LinksTo contact the national domestic family and sexual violence counselling service dial 1800RESPECT or online here Listen to our past episode "The Signs Of Financial Abuse Are Often Not That Clear" here. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast of millennials who want financial freedom. My friends, today it is Friday, which guess what that means? In no surprise to anybody, it's time to get my little team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, Miss Jessica Ricci, she's back. She's sharing her money wins and confessions from the community. Miss Bex Syed has a number of very exciting broke tips for us. We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about getting out of a rut and still prioritising future you. And we're going to unpack something that you slid into our DMs about, which this week we're chatting spending money on yourself from a joint account that you

have with your partner. Before we get there, though, my friends, how are you? Good. It's sunny today. Nice difference for those of us in Melbourne who've been dealing with the rain and the, I was going to say the hail and the snow, but we haven't had hail or snow. So just the rain. Where were you? No, clearly not, yeah. Yeah, I love that the sun is out, feeling good, feeling happy, new year, new me, still basking in the glow of that.

Currently trying to sew my Taylor Swift heiress outfit for anyone who follows me on social media and is keeping up. I don't know how to sew. I didn't pick you as a haberdasherist. A haberdasherist. I'm not one. I've literally never even heard that term. Your haberdasherist radar is bang on.

That's good to know. That's good to know. I'll walk out on the streets with confidence. but I can still pick a haberdasher. Still spot one of mine. That's good to know. That sounds lovely. And Jess, has your bad luck streak come to an end?

No. I don't want to trigger you. I mean, it has. You did get Taylor Swift, like, diamante cowboy boots in the mail. Oh, true. You did. Very exciting. Very cute.

No, there's currently a hole in my roof. Still leaks when it rains. Arguably more so than ever before. We are going to get very close to naming and shaming this real estate agency because it is wild what they're putting you through. They better be shaking in there. It's more the company that built the house. It's a brand new house.

I'm sorry. You called their emergency line and they were like, sorry, they're busy. Can't drink today, Rip. Has yours been better than mine? I don't want to rub it in, but it certainly has been. And I also don't want to jinx it at the same time. My voice is back, as you guys can tell.

Yay. I feel like we're all back after the holidays and we're like, listen to us. We sound young again. Yes. It's going to wear off really quickly. I feel like the start of the year, everyone's really happy, really light, really bouncy.

Maybe by July we'll be bitter and angry again. July's a good run. If I make it to July before getting grumpy, I'll be thrilled. Before Jess has a meltdown, honestly, that's a great run. Totally. I mean, for you, it could even be several hours. If it hasn't happened already. But, no, my week's been really good, just being, like,

seeing friends and being on the peninsula a lot. Must be nice. Yeah, it's really nice. It's a lovely day, as Jess said. Just good vibes all around. Feeling great. I love this. I love this so much.

I'm getting increasingly uncomfortable. I do now look like I am smuggling a beach ball. But that is okay. Very grateful, very healthy, very happy. Yeah, I'm excited for Taylor Swift as well. Like Jess and I going together with two other girls from our team, which is obviously going to be the best ever. You're wearing a friendship bracelet.

Is that related or unrelated? It is related because one of our colleagues. Are you wearing a Swifty bracelet? I'm not going to the, when is this concert ever? It's on the 17th of February. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm going to be 39 weeks pregnant. I will regret nothing.

That is going to be very hard. But no, someone is going and she made me a bracelet for the event. What does your one say? Well, there's a bit of a backstory. It's Tweedledum because she's Tweedledee. Wow, there wasn't really that much of a backstory. That's very cute. That's that.

That's actually just the story. And I think yours says fearless, doesn't it? Yeah. I need to make myself one so that it can, like, sit on my wrist. I'll make one for you. Thank you. I actually, I'll commission that. My beads arrived today.

I got an email just before. My package has arrived with all my beads. Is this something that I'm going to be expected to do? I'll do it for you. Like, do I need to get a whole heap of bracelets to trade because everybody else is going to have bracelets to trade? You've got enough on your plate. Can I just buy bracelets?

Is that an option? Don't worry about it. We'll talk later. I've got you covered. Okay, okay, okay. I haven't even thought about my outfit because I can't stop thinking about the idea that, you know, Jess has these beautiful outfits in mind, right? She's got all of these beautiful options. And then she's like posting videos of like beautiful tulle and stuff.

And I'm like, this is going to look slay. If you put me in sparkles and diamonds, I'm going to look like a disco ball. I think we go all in and you just wear a crop top and we paint a disco ball on your belly. Absolutely not. A great idea. Commit to the bit. I already feel somewhat uncomfortable whenever my belly is out. Over summer, I like wore a bikini and it took 0.2 seconds for me to go find a linen shirt and be like, I want you to wear a pencil skirt and the belly will be the top of a microphone. Oh my God, that's so good. Is that like, can you do that just for me? Just for you. Just for you. All right, moving on because I don't want any more haberdashery recommendations. Let's get into what has been happening in the community. Miss Jess Gritchie,

what community money wins or confessions have you got to share this week? Firstly, I've got a win from Ashley who said, I finally found a way to make iced coffee at home that tastes better than my morning Macca's iced coffee. Saving myself a cheeky $70 a week by not buying them when out and about. Could she send the recipe? Yeah, that's actually a good question. Ashley, please share the recipe with us. Actually, I think she did because I can see Elise asked the same thing. So go to the thread. Great. Recipe's there. Next, I've got a money win from Lucy who said money win. Good name. It is a good name. Spelled with an I, not with a Y. Oh, way cuter.

Way, very cute. I pictured L-I-C-Y. It's like, see where the I comes in now. It's like how when I met my husband and his name's Stephen and he said, yeah, it's a Stephen with a P-H. And I immediately thought of that small Mexican dog. And now he's saved in my phone as P-H-T-E-V-E-N. And the small Mexican dog is his profile picture.

Very cute. Hilariously, that's how he's saved in my phone too because you airdropped the contact to me. I feel like everybody in the team has Piven in their phone. That's so funny. But Lucy said, money win. I bought a raffle ticket with money I earned from the Collect the Container deposit scheme. I won said raffle, which included a $50 pharmacy voucher.

I went to the pharmacy to buy a discounted breast pump. It was the last one they had in stock, so they discounted it a further $50. Okay, but they're really expensive and I didn't know that. So she only paid $50, which was covered by her container refund. So she saved $290 altogether. Oh my gosh. There you go. Recycle your bottles, friends.

That's incredible. Never know when you could win a voucher. Yeah. Next, I've got one from Nicole who said, double money win. Someone posted in my local Facebook group looking for anyone with an overgrown yard who wouldn't mind having some sheep over for a week to eat it down. Me! She said, me, totally me.

I get my lawn mowed and fertilized and they didn't have to pay to feed the sheep for 10 days. meet Paris, Chocolate and Honey, my new lawn maintenance crew. And, of course, we have a picture. Show me, show me. Is this not the most? That's the cutest thing I've seen in my life. That's really clever. If they happen to want to do a front nature strip,

I know someone with one that's very overgrown. I actually follow. I don't know who it is. I will post it on my stories. I follow a group of goats on TikTok who do, like, garden demolition. Oh, my God, that's so funny. And they, like, fence the goats into places that have, like, really, like, dense, like, shrubbery and stuff that people are meant

to pull out, but goats eat everything. So they do these time lapses of these goats going in and doing their work and, like, eating everything. Oh, that's very cute. And then going away being like, we're the goats. We did our work. I actually love everything about that. I am going to send it to you because it's so funny.

I love that. That is amazing. Next, Christine said she picked up a gorgeous stainless steel pan from the op shop for $10 when it's worth $100. What a steal. Love a good op shop. Good time to be op shopping at the moment. It's a steal, isn't it?

How well played. Didn't even catch that. Everyone's getting rid of their stuff for the new year, so hit your local opie. Oh, op shop time right now is great. Good call. 100%. Rhiannon said, money win.

I found a broken bit of plant on the footpath, put it in water to grow roots, and after a few weeks, I got a new plant baby for free. Wow. Money win. Beautiful photo. Oh, lovely. Of the plant baby.

Very cute. I want to know, did you find it on the footpath or did you find it on the footpath? It's like the time I stole a string of pearls from my sister's string of pearls plants and planted that myself. And now mine looks better than hers. Oh, that would kill. Make you so angry. Yeah, well, maybe she should have looked after it in the first place.

Lastly, I have a money win from Catherine, which comes with a little bit of a PSA. She said, free money. I signed up to Sharesies with the $10 SOTM code, which I've then reinvested the dividends that I earned. I feel so rich when I look at it, despite having no spare dollars to invest right now. Thanks, SOTM. You're welcome. So you're saying that your free money is making more free money and that free money will make you more money? Huge. Money win. Life hack. And it was, I said PSA because a few people DM'd us to say the code wasn't working. We've been cancelled by Sharesies. Well, I reached out.

Thankfully, they've given us the code back for another year. So SOTM will give you a free $10 when you sign up. We don't get anything for that. No, we don't. Just to be very clear, that is not a referral code. That's just free money for you. And dividends as well. So now Catherine's on the up and up.

I love it. What else have you got, Jess? That's it. That's it? I mean, that's ending on a free money, giving free money. That was a good place to end. People who love free money also love broke tips. True.

Ah, so Bec Syed, what have you got for us? Okay, so this week I have, as always, two from the community, one from myself. So the first one comes from Priyanka. She suggested, and it's something I have done, dye your old clothes instead of buying new ones, like refurb, which is a great idea because often, like, for example, I'll buy white shirts that look amazing for like one and a half hours. And then I always stain them.

That's good longevity in white. Yes, and I actually recently dyed one of them pink. And so the stains are kind of gone. I'm like, maybe they're still kind of there. But you can't really see them anymore. But you can't see them with a pink over. And everyone's like, oh, my gosh, great new shirt. I'm like, yeah, thank you so much.

And it didn't barely cost me anything. But you can also tell people that you're a haberdasherist and you made it. Exactly, exactly. So, yeah, killing, like, multiple birds with one stone. Love that. So it's out in 2024. We're not killing animals. Anyway, so the next one comes from Millie.

Has she gone on a vegan trip? Because I have seen her eat steak. That's true. Very early. Controversial waters. Please steer away. Let's steer away. It's on.

I'm very scared right now. She's on the spicy. So this next one comes from Millie, who shared a page on Instagram that posts cheap hacks. And one in particular that I liked is about this article that gave you suggestions on really cheap recipes. Some of them were like $8. Some of them were cheaper. Some of them are a tiny bit more expensive.

So this Instagram page is at 401OKAY. So 401OKAY. I don't really know what that stands for. We're not going to question it because they have cheap recipes, Bec. Exactly. Let's not question it. But they also have other little cheap hacks. But just have a little peruse.

Go in there. Instagram page. I like that. Have a look. But yes, that cheap recipe article I will be following to the T because that is, you know, I think it's one of the things we need. I like cheap food. We absolutely need food to survive. And so, you know, if that's all you can afford before payday, at least do it cheaply as possible. But also, even if you can afford it, what a good way to save some money. So true. Find some cheap eats, like slash your grocery bill. Yeah. That is absolutely what you should be doing in 2024. But importantly, you're not going to get away with pretending that you're a haberdasherist. Yes. Just because you dyed your

shirt pink does not get you out of giving us a broke tip from you. What is the tip that you're bringing to the table this week? I do sometimes like to merge the two, but I won't. I know I've noticed she's lazy. I won't this week though. Being stingy even on her tips. So my broke tip for this week, I'm not sure if anyone remembers, but last year I did share a tip about the Brunswick Tool Library, which is where you like kind of borrow tools and stuff. You don't have to pay for them. They're very expensive, turns out. So this is in the same vein. So some libraries have these things called makerspaces, which is where, you know, if you want to get into embroidery or sewing or things like that, and you can, you know, borrow other things like puzzles and games and

stuff. But these places are dedicated to people who want to learn that kind of skill, may not have the resources or the money to afford to buy all those things themselves. Like, you know, the sewing, I don't know how much a sewing machine is. It's so expensive. I looked into it for making my outfit and I decided I was going to hand sew because I made hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Wow. So that's why things like this are really good. And that, you know, if you are wanting to monetize that skill eventually, that could even make you money. But let's not get too ahead of ourselves. But I think it is a really good way to kind of like expand your skill set and maybe learn a new skill along the way. But also like do something you want for free,

like money win. And also you can use that to tailor your own clothes one day. Love it. That's such a good idea. That's genius. I love it. Thank you so much. That's me. All right. Let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, we are talking about getting out of a rut and still prioritizing future you. And you slid into our DMs about a topic this week that I am genuinely so excited to break down. Spending money from a shared account that you share with your partner. I think it's going to be divisive. I think it'll be divisive too, because it's not just on electricity, you know. So guys, don't go anywhere.

Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to the Money Dilemma for this week. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's On The Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you

might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi lovelies, I'm really hoping you can help me make a decision. I am in a rut and I'm struggling to change that. I'm in a dead-end job, I'm goalless and I'm savings-less. The only thing I'm sure of is that I want to either move and make a fresh start or travel the country for a year before settling down somewhere. My options for funding this would be to either sell my house or borrow against some equity. After paying out my loan, I would have approximately $300,000 in profit. Alternatively, if I keep the house as an investment and rent it out, I could use some of the $190,000 of equity that has built up. It would be very, very easy for me to sell up and

run away, but I'm not sure that that would be the best for future me. What do you think would be the best move? I think this is a really interesting one. There's a quote. Here we go. Loves a quote. Love a quote. Quotes, gal. I've gone from being 2023 stats gal to 2024 quotes gal. Wait, you want a motivational quote? I've got one for you. But there is a quote that basically says, you can run, but your problems are going to follow you. And I'm not saying that you've got massive problems, but like this idea of like, oh, I don't really know what I'm doing, but like I should sell up and move completely, I would argue is not the solution that you're looking for. It could provide some level of clarity. It could provide a different environment for you to,

you know, get used to. But I genuinely think that before you do any of that, you should be really sitting down and thinking about, or I say I don't have any goals, but like, what in my life do I value? What in my life am I grateful for? What in my life do I, you know, feel like I want to change or like is a little bit stagnant and actually doing some planning to understand why you feel this way because if you can't articulate like I want to run away but I don't know why or when or where or how just like doing that and making such a big decision if you're saying look I could have you know 300 grand in profit well that's great but like are you planning on just blowing that to have your best life ever because you feel like running away like that $300,000

today is worth $300,000, but when you come to retirement, it could be worth millions. Like, you know, if we look at your property and you're saying, well, there's $190,000 worth of equity, like that's fantastic. Are we putting future us first by actually making the decisions that you're making? Should we be looking at, you know, renting it out, maybe using some of that rental income to like, you know, go on a big Europe trip because you do want to get away and want to experience some new things and then coming back. I'm not saying you can't move or change, but like those are big decisions that are going to have really big ramifications on your future financial well-being and i just go i wouldn't be so quick to jump into that have you ever felt

like running away yeah all the time i literally ran away from sydney to melbourne and it was the best decision ever but yeah because you see now we get it don't leave this is the thing and this is not really it's obviously not financial advice but this is more life advice none of it is i think this is a life advice segment now probably a life advice situation but for me uh take for example You know, I've always been in entry-level jobs. Literally this time two years ago I was working in a warehouse as a pickpacker and I decided. Oh, my God, same.

No, no, wait, no. Yours was like four years ago, babe. Four years. Sit down. I mean. Statement retracted. Statement retracted. Then she came to work at She's On The Money.

I see a theme. I think that. I like packages. You guys said that you worked with packages. What kind, babe? She liked ours. Anyway. I did, in fact, like your package.

But no, so one thing that I told myself, because I was obviously like, you know, it's 29, 30, that's not old by any means, but I was like, I should probably do something. I decided to really look at life and instead of being halfway up or a little bit up a ladder I don't want to climb, I decided to start at the bottom of a ladder I wanted to climb, which is media, which is, you know, I started on reception here and that's like just starting at the very bottom of a ladder you want to climb. And even that kind of brings you the happiness or the satisfaction you kind of want, knowing that you're not in a dead end job.

This is a job that will eventually lead to something that you want to do, but also move if you want to, but just keep that in mind. Start, like, just climb a ladder you want to climb, even if it's at the very, very, very bottom of it and try and make that work. That's very poetic. You're trying to run away from home, Jessica Rucci. No, I think... She's got a really nice house, that makes sense.

Well, there's a few holes in the roof at the moment. That's true. Yeah, right now she wants to run. I think I would say that you don't have to make that big of a decision all at once. It's a lot of a decision to make. That's why I'm like, ah, we thought about this. Yeah, I think I know that I'm very risk adverse and there are certainly people out there who really push the make the change, do the big thing, don't wait for the day.

This is like instead of tea in the morning, try coffee. No, but if you're craving, if you want to go somewhere, like you said, take a short trip rather than moving. If you think that you want to change careers, maybe dabble by doing something on the side or I just I don't think you have to be all in or all out, especially if it's a decision like this one that has potentially astronomical implications on your financial future, like selling a house, selling an investment property. And there's no guarantee you're going to be happy at the other end because you don't deeply know who you are. Because you don't have the clarity. So I think maybe before you make a decision, as you were saying, sit down, assess what you want, do a bit of internal work.

You can try things before you go. I was going to say balls deep, but not very on brand. That's okay. It goes with me saying that I hired you because I like your packages. That's true. So, you know, I think try things or find ways to experiment. If you want to change, make a change. Like I'm not saying keep doing the same thing, but maybe just in small ways first so that

maybe you try something, you go, oh, actually, hate that. Don't want that. Imagine if I'd gone all in on that. Terrible. So you can, you know, maybe you'll find something that you didn't think that you would want that you do. Does that make sense? No, I totally agree with that. And I think that's where I was like, oh, like running away from your problems doesn't actually solve your problems. And while your problems might not be like, you know, these big dramatic things, they don't have to be. If you deeply haven't sat down and thought about like, well, who am I? What do I value about myself? What do I value about my lifestyle? Like if you've sat down and been like, look, I really value my freedom, my flexibility. I hate cold weather. I don't like this. I don't

like that. I do love this. I do love that. And you go, I'm not running away, but I would live my best life if I moved to Bali. And you've got clarity on the fact that you know that's a good decision for you because you've written down why that makes sense. Go for it. I'm not going to stop you. But I do think we need to be going, actually, let's put the brakes on this because you're like, I don't have any goals. I don't have any aspirations. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, okay, well, let's just press pause and understand who we are. You don't have to have this big laundry list of goals. And as much as I'm a goal setting girly, like adore it, even released an entire online course on proper goal setting, right? You don't have to have goals

in mind to start that process and go, well, actually, what is it going to take for me to live my best life. Like, what do I like? You know, and Beck and I might write these lists and they're going to be so wildly different and that's a good thing, but it gives us clarity on, well, what's Beck's next step? Like, she knows she wants to be in media. She knows she likes this type of lifestyle and, you know, being in this area and, you know, I'm having a baby. Like, these things are so different that you just really need to step back and go, actually, as much as I feel a little bit aimless let's just have a look because I can almost guarantee if I did the same thing to Jess and you were saying this I'd be like well do you like this or that and you'd be like oh I don't

like that and you can start learning oh maybe that's not the route this is the route but just by jumping into one thing it's not going to solve it I promise it's not going to solve it in fact you might end up regretting it come back and update us in a year on what you decide and where you set your goals go sit down and actually write down what you enjoy about life what you want more of, what you want less of, what you want to keep on doing. I think it's important. Totally. Can you tell us about the DM? Yeah, please. All right. I'm ready to share with you the DM that I posted publicly on our stories earlier

this week. That we have not read yet. That you definitely have not read already because stay away from our socials. All right. So here's the DM. Hey, ladies, I need some advice. My partner checked our joint bank account and saw my orders from The Iconic. I probably had about five different orders totaling around $750. He's cracked it at me and hasn't spoken to me in over a day. That's real mature, isn't it? He's so angry, yelling at me and saying it's a waste of money and I shouldn't have put it on our card. I feel like I should be able to spend my money without getting in trouble and made to feel bad. And now I'm thinking I shouldn't have a joint account with him if this is how he reacts.

I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong or not for putting this on our card it didn't feel like it at the time but he's now made me feel like it was a terrible thing to do and I've betrayed his trust what do you think I feel like I'm gonna have a different opinion to both of you so I almost want to go last okay no i want you to go first okay okay i need a smidge more context because i want to know if that joint account is strictly for bills or rent oh yeah because if you're doing that that to me is a no-no then that's then what are you doing that's objectively bad that is not what it is for if it's just like there for like you guys put all your your pay both your pays in then yes spend whatever you want on whatever you want whatever you want well

i just this is why i was like are you saving for something like is there a joint goal in mind and you've decided to only spend x amount on your own things i don't know like i know you know you know but you don't know but when you don't know what you don't know exactly so but basically what I'm going to say is this. If it is her own money and they haven't decided to try and save together X amount per week, she's spending her own money that she made herself. Go for it. That's absolutely your prerogative. And I don't see anything wrong here, but if it's a joint account for bills and et cetera, and the like, you can't buy stuff from that account is my thinking. Yeah. So that's me.

Jess you have to go you have to go now see this I think this is why I will never fully ever share my finances because I'm imagining that she and her partner just have one shared bank account perhaps that everyone's money goes into that bank account everything is debited out of that bank account I personally think if that is the case $750 is a lot of money I think that's a conversation that should have been had because if my partner and I were in the same situation he spent $750 Jules on, I don't know, a video game, I would be like, excuse me, bro, what the hell? I would be taken aback because in my mind, a significant purchase with shared funds is something that should be discussed. And you know, what is significant is up for debate and personal to

everybody. I actually think she should have said something. The way that I imagine that I would work around this or the way that we currently manage our finances, and I don't think I ever would change is that independent money is independent. So if you are both earning $50,000 and you put X amount into an account every week, and that's your shared funds that you use for joint purchases, for date nights, for a wedding or a holiday or your bills or whatever, those are shared funds. But I think that it's really important that people are able to spend their money however they want. But I also think that maybe to make it equal or equitable, you should have that money allocated to you I don't know it's like each month we both get a thousand dollars to

blow on whatever we want or five hundred dollars or whatever it is but I just think that if it's joint money and you're making a big purchase it's something that should have been discussed because obviously he was taken aback I do not at all condone the way that he has approached that with you that feels yeah I feel like that's a different story no I feel very displeased with the way that he has treated you I feel very displeased yeah I'm sorry are we living in 1994 like is the silent treatment still something that you give where are your words sir you are an adult to blow up and be angry i think is not the appropriate way to handle it but i think it signifies that that is not something that he thought you guys were doing and so you're not on the same page there so you need

to get on the same page i want to know how long they've had that joint account and what the discussion was around what it is because my partner and i have a shared account but it is purely like grocery funds and like bill funds how would you deal if james you were going through the banking you saw like james had spent 500 bucks out of your joint account i literally would be like what is this for yeah like but you would question it first absolutely being like what the hell that was a waste of money no yeah okay it would be like if you want to buy something you buy it with your money like you know is that like i spend you know we've said before i earn my partner i definitely spend big dog bit i definitely spend more discretionally than he does because i have

the funds to do so but that it's never you know the detriment of our shared goals or of our you know shared yeah of course because you've already put that money into savings or the investments or whatever yeah so i think it really depends on what the conversation was around how those as you were saying how those funds will be managed yes but yeah controversial i think because i think most people are going to be like it's your money girl spend it how you want i don't think it is sorry i can definitely agree that if that is the i guess those are the guidelines of the account when it was set up like if your partner Jess went and spent money from that account and you told me I'd be like well that's actually unacceptable what like what where to get that audacity from

like what's going on and he might turn around and be like oh my god Jess when I went to pay I pulled out the wrong card sorry and then like it all fixes itself up and it's all good to go but I'm assuming you both when you got that joint account had a chat right you said we're gonna get a joint account we're gonna put x amount in it together and it's for a b c and d right yeah So that's the breadth and I guess the boundaries of that account. Now, if we look at how I manage money in my relationship, I don't have my own money and Steve does not have his own money. Both of our incomes go into one pool and that's our money. And it doesn't matter if one of us earns double than the other. It's just, it's our money across the board. And from that money,

we pay our mortgage, we pay our bills, you know, we pay for Lucy. Like we actually have debit cards to the same accounts. So if we looked at this situation and it was reversed and it said, hey, Victoria spent $750 from our joint account. Well, yeah, actually, because that's my only location of where I do spending from. We don't have our own money accounts where we make, I guess, individual purchases. We do have our own emergency funds, but neither of us touch that amount of money. But we have like a debit card that I use that connects to the same account and vice versa with Steve. However, I would never purchase something that is, I would say like above $100 that was a personal purchase without talking to my husband. And I'm not asking him

for permission. Like I want to be really clear that like, I'll go buy a dress and I might not mention it, but both of us do that within reason. So if I've gone and spent like a hundred bucks on a new dress, I did, I'm wearing it right now. I bought it at Country Road. It was $119 on sale and I was really excited about it. I didn't call my husband for permission. I was like, well, I'm going to buy myself a new dress. That's great. I know we've got the money. I know it's in our budget for me to buy clothes and stuff. $750 to me is a very different situation. Like I would be, and we're not talking about permission here, but I would be very uncomfortable going and spending that amount of money without giving my husband a heads up or being like, hey, there's a whole

heap of stuff on sale on the iconic do you reckon I can just put through a big bulk order and it not matter yeah I'm like I'm not saying not matter but like not matter to him like we have everything allocated though so like budget I do my budget and cash flow system and you know as I have explained before everything goes into the one account but it's all automated it goes to our mortgage it goes to our savings and our investments and we have you know different amounts for different things. We used to have our own spending accounts and it just got a little bit too messy because I was doing most of, you know, one thing and he was doing something else and then it swaps and it just became honestly messy. So this is now what's currently working for us,

but I am acutely aware that that does not work for a lot of other people. And I'm also speaking from, I would say, a place of very, very high privilege because let's be very blunt, I'm not an average income earner. We do have a bit more disposable income so that if I buy a $120 dress, my husband's not mad at me because that was eating into the grocery bills. The idea of budget that you brought up just before that is overlaid over generally a shared account, right? Like for us, it's allocated to bills and groceries. For someone else, they might have their discretionary spending included in that. But it sounds like our listener, they either have a budget allocated and her spending has gone over that. And maybe

that's why he's upset or they haven't spoken about the breakdown. Yeah, like what boundaries were in place. And I would take a step back and be like, all right, let's put this $750 expense to the side and let's have an adult conversation where we don't ignore each other and go, actually, what did you think the boundaries on this account was? Oh, they're different to what I thought they were. I thought that it was just our money and we could spend it however we want.

Maybe you're in a situation where you don't actually have a very good budget at the moment. So you're not actually allocating money for rent and allocating, you just have a big pool of cash and you just thought it didn't matter. When in reality, your partner's freaking out because they know rego's due next month. And they're like, um, what are you doing taking that out of there? Like we've got a big expense coming up. So I think for me, my budget and cash flow system works really well because we are so structured in the background. I know I have this written, Jess, I know you're exactly the same because we budget very similarly. We literally use the same product. It's my product. But we know what's coming up. We know what's there and

what we can and can't spend. And inherently, I have in the back of my head, if I'm going to go spend that 120 on a dress, I know it's not impactful because I've actually already allocated everything. And my husband is across the same budget. We're on exactly the same page. So if he's spending money from our account he knows it's okay because he's very aware of what else is being paid but it just sounds like you are not aware of the boundaries that have been put in place for this account you need to talk about that and often having more structure is actually going to be better and yeah put you in a situation where you've got more success yeah because there's no right or wrong like we do it completely different ways yeah and that works fine for both and

So pragmatically, we could wipe this whole conversation off the table and be like, oh, Jess, how do you budget? And you go, oh, I use the She's on the Money Masterclass. And I'll be like, yeah, same. Do you have a joint account with your partner? Yes. Oh, me too. And you might assume that our banking systems are very similar because you just ticked two really big boxes about how we budget and then also how we view joint accounts. And the reality is it couldn't be more different. We did ask the community a couple of questions. Are you ready? So we said, do you have a joint account with your partner? 65% of you said yes, which I was impressed with because I thought it would be less. Yeah, that is a lot. We said, if yes, if your partner put

personal expenses on the joint account without telling you, would you be angry? 21% of you said, yep, definitely. 67% said, well, it depends how much money it was. And 12% of you said, wouldn't care. I think it's fine to do so. The overlay of that would be the boundaries of the account again. He's pretty sure the people saying, I wouldn't care. I think that's fine. Their boundary would be that that is also for personal spending. Whereas if I say to my partner or, you know, back when Steve was my boyfriend and we had a joint account together that was literally for rent and groceries and electricity bills, if he'd spent from that, I think I would have flipped it. I would have been like, what are you doing, sir? Yes. So context is everything.

We then asked, is your joint account only used for shared costs such as rent, bills, groceries, holidays, together, et cetera? 71% said, yep, it's only for shared costs. And then 29% said, no, we put personal costs in there as well. That is the context we need about your account. Yes, definitely. We then said, do you have some guidelines with your partner on how and what those shared accounts are used for?

73% said, yep, we set these when we got the account, which is I'm assuming not what our DM message I did. And 27% said, no, we're really relaxed and just go with whatever goes on. Just tell me right now. That would never work. I was like, that would never work for Jessica. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

Like this woman uses UpBank, right? And the reason she's so in love with UpBank, apart from the fact that it's just a good banking system, right, she can have savers for everything how many savers have you currently got jessica i think i have like 16 or something yeah 16 different savings accounts that she just like breaks down literally everything and i look at her and i'm like i am a legit ex-financial advisor and i could never it works perfectly i have a you mean perfectly sounds psychotic i have a fund for everything so i know exactly what i can spend on clothes or exactly what i can spend on beauty i like that it just

But again, it's so personal, right? Like some people would hate it. See, I love the in together. Like I've got like a little budget for like clothes and beauty and discretionary items and if I spent it all on beauty, well, I don't get any clothes. Whereas Jess is like, um, no, I need balance. I separate them.

Yeah, I separate it out even further. That's incredible. So we then went to the community and said, what is your two cents? And similar reactions to us. So what is wrong with him and his reaction? Why is it so intense? I think you need to have a deep conversation. Someone else said, I think what he's more upset about here is a lack of communication.

Communication is key. Someone said, you both should still get discretionary spending in your own accounts, which is fair, but we're talking about a joint account. A heap of you actually DM'd and said, we're going to need more context here. And I'm like, sorry, sis, we weren't provided with that context. And that's half the fun of these DMs we get to assume. Someone else said, I'd rather him put it on the joint account than keep his spending a secret. Interesting way to look at it.

okay. And I mean, that makes sense. But like in your situation, Jess, it's very clear that your money is your money and your partner's money is your partner's money and you split it however you've decided to split it. Yeah. Like, I don't know if in your situation you'd be that happy with your partner critiquing what you're spending and him being like, oh, well, you do spend more than me. That's not the point. Which is why I like personally for me and my situation, I like the idea of having your own separate spending account because it does take out that need to answer to somebody. You go, okay, whatever, you know, I've worked out from my budget and you've worked out from your budget that we have to spend independently. We spend independently and you don't

answer to anybody. It's kind of like we're both adults. Spend it how you want. Like if you want to buy 500 chocolate eggs because they're already out, you go like, girl, buy yourself some Cadbury dairy milk eggs. Can you tell what I'm thinking about doing on my own? I'm laughing so hard Because complete side note, I was in the supermarket the other day with my husband and he looked at the Easter installation and he was like, didn't we have Christmas yesterday? And I said, yeah, we did. And he looked at me dead in the eyes and said, Jess will love this. Oh, cute.

And I was like. He knows me so well. I was like, yes, she will. But that's also really funny. That's very cute. Back to our DM two senses. Someone said anything over $100 being purchased has to be discussed in our house, which i think is very very fair someone did a whole heap of red flag emojis and said the delivery

it's a conversation sorry he approached it that way yeah man child i was like the delivery was not good yes um his reaction is immature but this actually should have been a conversation before spending irrespective of how he responded so like i know he responded incorrectly i think we can all agree on that yes but like at the end of the day $750 is a lot of money that is a lot it is like it is a lot of money in general to have in your account it is a lot of money to then say I spent that on the iconic yeah yeah so like I don't know if my husband did that or I did that I kind of expect my husband to be like um what is this yeah and ask me because that's a bit rogue especially without a discussion.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was just trying to calculate the short back. If it was upsized, it'd be 20%, but sometimes it's calculated. It's not upsized right now, so I wouldn't have ordered anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If she spent that when it was upsized or whatever that's called, I haven't experienced that yet, but then I wouldn't be so mad. So I think the TLDR of all of this is it's time to discuss the terms

and conditions of your joint account together, set some boundaries, keep some boundaries and understand what that actually looks like and have an honest adult conversation about it because even when we do stuff like this, like if it was the right thing to do ultimately or even if it was the wrong thing to do ultimately, these conversations around money should always be respectful and I think that that's the only way we can move forward.

So it just sounds like there's a few things going on. Agreed. Couldn't have said it better myself. We're all done here, my loves. Have the best weekend. And I'm excited because Money Diaries are back on Monday. So we will see you then. Until then, enjoy your weekend, my loves.

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