She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: A Humble & Huge Heart

Episode Date: May 21, 2023

Wait till you meet this incredibly strong and humble member of our community! She and her brothers were raised by their single mum who experienced bankruptcy after leaving a violent relationship with their dad who was also a gambling addict. Having dealt with her own mental health and health struggles, she is now a rock for others and working in child protection after 9 years at uni, finally earning a full-time salary! This week's episode discusses eating disorders, domestic violence and mental health issues, if these are difficult topics for you please check in with one of our many other episodes. If you or anyone you know needs help reach out to... 1800 RespectLifelineThe Butterfly Foundation Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where I get to talk to one of our incredible She's On The Money community members all about their financial and life journey. Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message that went like this. Hi, Victoria. My brothers and I were raised by our single mom and watched her experience bankruptcy after leaving a domestic violence relationship with my dad, who is also a gambling addict. After my own mental health and health struggles, I'm now working in child protection after nine years at university, and I'm earning a full-time salary for the first time ever at age

27. Before we jump even further into this episode and welcome our beautiful money diarist to the show, I do want to just give a bit of a content warning here. This week's episode, we're going to discuss things like eating disorders, domestic violence, abuse, and depression. So if that is not an episode you want to listen to or you're not in the right mindset for it, that is so fine. We literally have hundreds of other episodes you could go and listen to right now. So go and do that. But if you're sticking with us to listen to this money diary, welcome. And money diarist, let's jump straight in, my friend. Sounds good. All right. Let's start with the very first question, which as always is, my friend, what grade would you give your money habits if I asked

you to give them a grade from A through F? I think probably a C plus. A C plus. All right. Well, I think that frames the conversation. Now, my favorite question. Let's dive in. Marnie Dyrus, I want to know, can you tell us a little bit more about your money story? Yeah, of course. So I grew up with two brothers and my dad was unfortunately an alcoholic. He also had a gambling addiction. So we didn't grow up with a lot of money because he unfortunately would spend most of it after he got his paychecks. But my mum did her best to keep the family running. And then when I was about eight, my mum left because of the domestic violence. And yeah, things got a little bit worse from there for a little bit. Obviously having my mum care for us most of the

time on a single parent's wage was really difficult. And there was also a long court process the divorce and splitting up the assets of the house which was a bit messy oh my gosh it would have been so stressful and at eight you kind of only know a little bit about what's going on that's it not the whole story so it feels a little bit ambiguous and absolutely was it stressful as an eight-year-old to go through that it was very stressful I think also seeing your parents so stressed is hard but at the time my dad also was very keen on having my brothers and I know everything that was going on. So there was a bit of emotional abuse, you know, reading the court affidavits to us saying how bad our mum was, all that kind of stuff. So obviously now from a bit

more of a trauma lens, I can see that's not appropriate. But when you're young, you just want, you just don't know what you don't know when you're young. That's it. At eight, you just think, oh, dad's trying to share with us what's going on. Like to me, that would, you know, as an eight year old makes sense. Exactly. But there are some things that you're not emotionally ready for. And that happens to be one of them. Exactly. And then when I was 11 years old, my dad moved into state and left us in my mum's care full time. And that was a bit of a surprise because we didn't know it was coming. He sort of just dropped us off one day and then we were living with mum. And then from there, when I was a teenager, I developed some disordered eating and mental health struggles.

My mum has been so supportive the whole time, but yeah, definitely a bit of a roller coaster and got my first job at McDonald's when I was 15, working for $8 an hour. $8 that you were probably like, this is the best money I've ever earned in my whole life. Absolutely. And I think that was the first time because we did struggle with money so much. When I was younger, I really felt like I have some control here. I'm making my own money and it was a great feeling. And then when I was in high school at 17, my mom did go bankrupt because she had taken on a lot of debt to look after my brothers and I by herself. and that had been really hard on her. And she also had another partner at that time who was

unfortunately abusive as well and very dependent on her. So she left him, but was left with a lot of debt. And so went bankrupt after that. And then things were rough for a while, but yeah, they're looking up now. Wow. I feel like that is a roller coaster. I really want to go and just like grab your mum and hug her. She's super supportive, but from the sounds of it, she backs you to the end of the earth, but maybe doesn't look after herself in the same way that you get looked after. And you just want to go, mom, like, look after yourself too. Come on. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, can I jump back to the disordered eating?

Yes, of course. I want to talk about that. That's something that I have experienced before. And I guess that's why, you know, opening the conversation up around this is really, really important to me. I want to know a bit more about, I guess, where that came from, because often it's not about being thin it's not about you know becoming a model like a lot of people think where do you think that stemmed from was that maybe a control issue I say that only because you said earlier I got my first job at McDonald's and I felt more in control yeah talk to me about that situation sure so I think I was conscious of my weight from very early on and it was actually something that

my dad criticized a lot he was very cancelled one out of ten that is not appropriate dad behavior yeah I know but yeah he was very fixated on my appearance you know my mom's appearance my brother's appearance and it was always a reflection of him in his eyes so I think probably from early on I was quite self-conscious of myself and wanted to change a lot about my body I think probably the earliest age I remember feeling unhappy about with something about my body was probably about four. My heart. You shouldn't care about your body at four. You should be caring about sandcastles and chasing people and whether you can have ice cream after dinner or not. Absolutely. And I can see all that now. But yes, I think that's probably where it first came from is that wanting to be

what he thought was enough. And that started with, you know, lots of calorie restriction over exercising. And I think probably the fact that my parents were going through, you know a divorce and then dad moved interstate there was that more sense of trying to please everybody and that was the thing I could control especially before I got the job I didn't really have any other control or other than I did really well at school because I think that was how I could prove that I was trying really hard and I'm a bit of a perfectionist same girlfriend cut paste I mean I didn't go through the same traumatic circumstances as you but it it's funny because having gone through disordered eating I feel like when I speak to other people who have had similar experiences

I'm like, oh my gosh, what about this? What about that? And you kind of go, yeah, the job probably really helped because it gave that sense of control that you didn't feel like you had earlier. Do you feel like that helped you on your recovery journey? Yes and no. I think for a while there, I did feel like I had more control. And like as a teenager in high school, when I felt like I had more of an identity as someone who did well at school, had a good group of friends, had a nice boyfriend at the time and things were going well. And then in year 12, I think my disordered eating really hit its peak. I'd broken up with my boyfriend and I also put a lot of pressure on myself to get like the most perfect score so I could get into

the best courses at uni. I wanted to study law originally. So the ATAR was quite high. So much unnecessary pressure, like the idea that at 16, 17, you're meant to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life when your brain is not even fully developed. You aren't even making good decisions at that point, why do you think I'd make a good decision about my career? Like, why are you putting this pressure on me? I can't even be trusted to go out on my own at this point. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And looking back now, I'm like, oh, obviously, as I said, well, you said at the beginning, it took nine years for me to get through uni anyway. So now I could just laugh and be like, oh, I had no idea. But yeah, I was putting a lot of pressure

on myself to be perfect in every way that I thought I needed to be. And I think, yeah, eating and trying to control my image was definitely one part of that. Do you think that that's part of your narrative today? Like, is that something that you still struggle with or is it something that you have moved beyond? Like, what does that look like today? Yeah, I think I've had a lot of therapy from about age 22 until now, so five good years. And I think my relationship with food has improved a lot and also with my body. I think when I was like in the thick of it, it was something that I worried about all the time, constantly. Whereas I've gotten to a place now where it might be like a little thought that pops up every once in a

while, but it's not something that I feel like controls me, which now looking back, I can see I didn't have control. It was actually controlling me. The thoughts were controlling me. And now when they come up, I can be like, nope, we're not doing that and push it aside. I love that you're able to say, no, it's not controlling me. I think when you go through circumstances like this, especially disordered eating, it's something that you learn. And I'm so glad you've had therapy because it's not something you can teach yourself. Like you actually just need someone to come in and be like, okay, here are the strategies that you need to implement. This is what we need to do to put you in the best possible position. But it never leaves

fully. I don't believe as somebody who goes through that, but you actually get all these strategies. So when it pops up, you can go, no, no, no, we're going to quash that. Like that's not how we think, Victoria. That's not what we're doing today. And I think that that can be really helpful. But I also think talking about that side of it is really important because I would hate for people to think that like, quote, therapy cures you and you'll be completely over it. No, it's something that mentally is always going to be there, but we can kind of use to our advantage with the right tools and the right resources. And I think that that's, yeah, I'm so glad you're in that position and you look happy and healthy right now. You look glowy and smiley. And it just,

I think that you are absolutely thriving. So that is my favorite thing ever. Before I move on to the next question, I just wanted to plug the Butterfly Foundation here. If this is something that you are struggling with, the Butterfly Foundation is one of my favorite resources for disordered eating. You can check them out online. They're on Instagram. They're basically everywhere. They've also got a really beautiful hotline if you want to call them. I'll put all of the links in the show notes if you need them, but please reach out to them. I did when I was younger, and they are the kindest, honestly, the nicest people in the entire world. And I feel like when reaching out for help and money, I said, I'm not sure if you

felt the same way. You just like, put it off, put it off, put it off. And then when you do, you're like, why didn't I do this sooner? It's not nearly as scary as you think it's going to be. Yeah. I think definitely waiting till that crisis point. Don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. That's a terrible idea. Get help as soon as you think you might need it. Definitely reach out and it's worth it. You're worth it.

so. Absolutely. All right, Marnie Dyrist, I want to know more about you today. Tell me, you said in your letter into me that you're finally earning a full-time salary. What do you do for work? How much money do you earn? Yeah, so I'm a social worker in a child protection, state-based child protection agency, and I earn $72,091 a year. You earn 72, that's good for like first year out of uni. It is, and much more than I've ever dreamed of making or ever dreamed of making when I was younger. So yeah, I feel a bit strange about it to be honest. Oh my gosh. So tell me about these nine years at uni. So what degrees did you do? Like, did you do them part-time, full-time and kind of what led you to child protection?

So I started off at uni when I was 17. A little baby. As a little baby, my mum had to sign the permission slip so I could use computers at the university, which is quite funny because I was taking on a lot of debt. I was old enough to sign those forms. You were like, so you'll let me go into debt, but you won't let me Google it. Yeah, exactly. And I started off doing a double degree in international relations and arts. And I had kind of dreams of being, you know, some kind of diplomat or maybe going to law later, but I wasn't too sure. But at the time I was also struggling with my mental health and had quite a lot of anxiety and would later be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression. But at that time I didn't know, I just thought, where am I coping?

so I ended up dropping the international degree and going just for arts but unfortunately I did fail quite a lot of topics because I felt too anxious to go to class I used to try and go to the tube and then I would just walk straight past the door and go sit in the toilet and hide in the toilet stall for quite a while just because I was so anxious and I think this probably went on for quite a while before I reached out for help with my GP so after that there was a bit of a learning curve trying new SSRIs or antidepressant medications and new approaches with you know trying to work with my anxiety so that I could attend uni but it was kind of an uphill at all and it was about three years where I was doing okay and then not doing

okay at uni so I didn't end up finishing my arts degree until 2020 actually. congrats though how exciting you did it thank you yeah I wish I'd been a bit kinder to myself at the time and just done part-time uni and maybe gotten the help I needed a bit earlier so that's okay you know reflection is is much easier we live and we learn exactly hopefully somebody else is listening to this and gets to learn from your story so that we don't repeat it exactly um so that was seven years for that undergrad which is usually three that's okay it is okay and I did take off a couple of two six-month breaks in there as well and I was really struggling and then in 2021 after the whole COVID thing. Yeah that thing happened. Yeah that little thing. That was get

this the first lockdown happened three years ago. I know it's crazy to think about. That triggers me it triggers me so bad it reminds me of how I carried my computer screen home and thought it was just going to be two weeks yeah and then like a month later it's like 2 p.m in the afternoon and I'd ask my partner do you want a wine and that was normal yeah yeah yeah it feels like a long time ago but also yesterday and so I was thinking about what I wanted to do next I didn't know if I wanted to do honors because I was quite interested in looking at like women's portrayals or portrayals of women's madness in literature and how that plays into society's views of women that would have been so cool did you do that I didn't I studied social work instead that's okay that's

okay it's an interesting topic nonetheless yeah and I think um given my experiences growing up and witnessing my dad be very cruel to my mother and he used to say you're mad you know there wasn't really a lot of awareness of mental health from his part it was just you're crazy if you're struggling um so I think that's definitely fueled my interest in that and also maybe my reluctance to get help until I was a little bit older. Yeah, so instead I had that time after I finished my degree to consider what I wanted to do and I thought I kind of want to do something that can help. There was a lot of articles flying around at the time about, you know, increased domestic violence and, you know, homelessness and I think COVID really just highlighted all the problems or

the systems that were failing already and so I thought what can I do and social work was the solution I came up with so I did a two-year master's and then yeah I went into child protection because I thought that was an area that I could maybe make a difference in. Oh my gosh my whole heart knowing your background and where you've come from and that arguably you were a child at some point that needed protecting ah my like do you feel like this is your way of kind of like protecting kids that might have been in similar circumstances to you like this is heavy I think so I think I don't know if I would have even considered this work as an option if I hadn't maybe done some reflecting on my own experiences as a child and noticed or recognized with help

that there was abuse there and yeah wanting to help other kids obviously it's quite different in child protection but knowing that maybe I could help protect them and ensure that they're safe and also work with families to make sure they have the right resources to keep their children safe as well sometimes I feel like would be really rewarding or is really rewarding. So tell me more about this role because I feel like we often gloss over roles when we say children's protective like services that could be a lot of things right there are lots of different categories of how people in these roles work. But can you tell me a little bit about what your day-to-day job looks like? Yeah, so I've only been in it for about four months now and I've actually had two different

roles in that time. So the one I'm in at the moment is an assessment-based role. So that involves when notifications are screened in and there are concerns raised about maybe the safety of a child, we will go out and speak with the parents or whoever may be involved, speak with the children and then may or may not open an investigation from there and yeah then the whole investigation process will start and supports and support partners NGOs may become involved or if at the end of the investigation it's deemed that the child is not safe where they are and and whoever their caregivers are cannot provide that safety for them there may be a removal. Oh my whole heart that is so heavy to do on a day-to-day basis how are you looking after you

through these things? Yeah, I think it's something that's evolved my self-care routine. At first, I had this whole list of, you know, like I will come home and do meditation or I will make sure that I'm doing yoga three times a week. And those things are all really good. But I think the best thing I've done for myself is form really great relationships with my colleagues, making sure I'm still attending therapy for myself. Yeah, 100%. And when I get home, sometimes I just need to go into the back lawn and just lie on it and just look at the sky for a little bit grounded yeah that's why my big thing is kick off my shoes and just go lie on the grass and be like it's okay I'm still a person I'm here like the world's bad but not everything's bad you know yeah oh my gosh

I don't know if I could do a role like that I feel like it would break me I feel like it takes such a special person to be able to do it and we need you like we need people like you who are looking after kids. And I wish I was as special as that. Like, I just feel like the emotional energy that you give to your job. I often feel so grateful that I can go home. Like I'm not a brain surgeon. I'm not, you know, doing things that are, you know, ultimately impacting people in ways that are kind of life or death, but your circumstances are right. Like if you make an assessment and I don't mean to be too dramatic or make it sound awful for you, but like, if you make it the wrong assessment, that could be catastrophic for a kid. Right. Or if you leave a circumstance

that you have been evaluating and you're just like, I want to scoop them up and take them home because I don't feel like they're safe and we are going to open an investigation. But you know, in that moment you have to leave them there, right? I just feel like that's heavy. And I feel like I'm just so grateful that people like you exist. You are so special. And I'm so just, I'm so happy to know you. Thanks. Yeah. I think it's not something I entered into lightly and it's that I'm actually quite new at the investigation and assessments role for a couple of months previously and where I actually did my social work placement was working with children who were already in long-term care so with children in foster care and that's quite different on the

day-to-day and I wasn't sure about child protection at first anyway because obviously in Australia we have the stolen generations and I didn't want to be part of a system that you know Aboriginal Torres Strait Islander children are still removed at a much higher rate than non-Indigenous children and, you know, with the Stolen Generations, I just wasn't sure that that was a system I wanted to be a part of. But I did get my final year placement at the department and it was through working there and seeing all the good work they do and working with Aboriginal colleagues and non-Aboriginal colleagues

that I thought, okay, this is something I think I can do and feel okay about. I feel like we need people like you in those roles because things like that happened. We need people like you who are so aware of those things. I think it's so close-minded and shallow when people don't do things. Or I heard someone the other day, they're like, yeah, I just don't see colour. And I'm just like, I can't conceptualise how you think that's helping anybody.

Like, I cannot understand because, to be honest, by seeing it, by going, you're Indigenous, you actually need and deserve more support in this system than somebody who is white going through it, right? Because there are more barriers to entry. there are more barriers to going through these things. There is unfortunately not as much education. I feel like being able to say, yes, I understand it and I can acknowledge that. And I know that this was wrong, but I can go above and beyond in those circumstances to make sure that the people who need the most protection get it. That's what we need to be doing. Not going, oh

my gosh, let's just treat absolutely everybody equally. It's identical. The process is exactly the same. I genuinely believe that the process needs to be stepped up because you're right. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander kids are being taken at higher rates because they aren't as safe how do we fix that we can't just sweep it under the rug and be like everybody needs to be treated the same right it blows my mind yeah and I think there is you know colonization I think we're taught in school if we're taught at all as something that happened in the past and but it's really the effects are still ongoing the stolen generations are not that long ago at all so can't be blind to it as as non-indigenous people and you know I think that's really irresponsible

and harmful so I couldn't agree more all right let's move back onto money topics because I could actually rant about this all day and I'm sure you could as well but I want to know let's go back to you personally what are your big money goals what are we working towards my friend um so at the moment my biggest goal is just building up my emergency fund so it got depleted while I was on placement. So you have two four-month placements where you're basically at the placement site full-time, but not earning any money. So just wanting to build that up again, that's my biggest money goal. And also I'm planning a trip to Japan and South Korea next year. Oh, so fun. Can you tell me more about this emergency fund?

Yes. How have you calculated how much you want in it? Like, is it a month's worth of expenses, three months worth of expenses? Like what's going to make you feel most comfortable? It is three months worth of expenses. And then I put $2,000 on top because that just made me feel better. Hey, I like that. I really like that. All right. I'm going to go to a really quick break because this has become very quickly a very long episode. We need a hot break. And after the break, we're going to talk about debt, investment, best and worst money habits. Guys, don't go anywhere. Money Diarist, we are back. And I feel like you are such a special human,

and I am feeling so beyond grateful to be able to share you with our community. I want to know though, let's dive straight in. Do you invest? If so, what do you invest in? If not, is there a plan? I do invest just a little. So I have about $1,000 in Spaceship. What do you mean a little? $1,000 is a lot of money, my friend. And a lot of that was from when I was a student, I was actually only putting in about $5 a month and it was more like an investment in my financial education, but it's grown over time. I love that. That's such a she's on the money phrase. You're obviously an OG. Yeah, OG. Yeah, definitely. And then I have super as well. How good. I feel like that's actually the perfect example of why investing small amounts just makes

sense. Like you're now able to say, yeah, I've got a grand invested. Most of us who are working our very first job out of university don't have a thousand dollars in an investment portfolio, Leo, but you do. And it's from all of those tiny amounts that you were saving during university. Yeah. Is that not, that's elite. Like that is such a stepping stone that you probably didn't even realize you needed. Like to already be an investor that is outside of superannuation, I'm obsessed with that. We did an entire episode recently actually on investing small amounts and whether it's worth it. Ruining the episode here. Yes, of course it is worth it. I will always

recommend investing even if it is small amounts because now you've got a grand that you didn't have before. That's worth it, right? Yeah. And I think also, you know, the market has been quite brutal the last couple of years. It gave me that confidence of seeing the market go up and down and it's okay, I can ride this like and have more confidence not to panic and withdraw any money in the future, I think. Yes, love. All right. Talk to me about debt. Do you have any? If so, what is it? I have a lot of Hex debt. Yes, nine years at university will do that. I'm so sorry to spoil that.

It will. So I have $74,315 in Hex and $10,171.55 in startup loans, which if you're getting any kind of Centrelink payment while you're at university, you can also opt in for a startup loan of $1,000 at the start of a semester. And that can go towards costs for, you know, university items or education items.

Textbooks, everything. I feel like that's a really helpful loan scheme as well, because obviously there's no interest on it. So that makes it very attractive. But also, university is so expensive beyond hex. Like the textbooks, like I did psychology and a lot of the coursework in psychology overlaps with social work. I could not believe that my social work subject coursebooks were like $150 to $250 to help other people. Like what? What? That's crazy. And you always need the most up-to-date addition. You can't just go and buy, you know, oh, there's a secondhand one. Oh, well, it's not the right addition, is it? That's it. Yeah. I did use some of that money to kind of boost up my income. So when I was really struggling with anxiety and not able to

work, that did go towards having, making sure I could pay like my phone bill and for petrol for my car. A hundred percent. I love that you had access to that. That makes me so happy to know you were supported. Question though, what are you doing about that debt? So are you just letting it tick along? Are you planning on making additional repayments? Like, have you even thought about this? Yeah. So at the moment I'm just letting it tick along. I did just want to quickly say, if anyone is struggling at uni and is, you know, failing topics because of mental health or adverse circumstances at home, you can actually apply for remission of some of your topics if you meet the criteria. Yes, you can. That's such a, oh, thank you for bringing that up. That's so

smart. So I wish I knew about that a bit sooner, but that basically means that if you meet the criteria and you apply and it's approved, the debt will actually be removed for you. Yeah. So they just delete it. They say, all right, money diarist, no worries. We totally get it. And the government go, we're going to remove that unit or that course. Like, I don't think I've ever seen it happen for an entire degree. No. But if you're on it, I do know of someone who had literally four subjects in one semester credited because they were like, look, I went past the census state. And if anyone's at university, you know, the census state's like that cutoff date where you can back out without it costing you anything. If you go past that though, and you know, let's

just say the proverbial hits the fan. It's so nice to know that that's an option. Definitely. Oh, I'm glad we're talking about that. That's so helpful. I feel like that's a really good money tip though? I want to know what is your best money habit? I think I'm quite resourceful when I don't have a lot of money. Obviously, I'm in a really good position now, but I haven't always been. So I'm quite happy to sell things online. When I was little, my brothers and I used to ride around on our bikes and collect cans because the state I live in, you can recycle them for money. Yeah. And sometimes that would help us get dinner for the night, especially at dad's house when there was a lot of money, but very resourceful. So I think that's my best habit.

Talk to me quickly about your money habits in general. I'm going to dive into your worst one in a hot second. But given you were so good at being resourceful and arguably very frugal, I love this. How have you gone from that style of lifestyle to having a $72,000 income? Because obviously that's good money. Are you a wizard at budgeting now? Like what's that look like? I think I'm quite a bit better at budgeting than I used to be. More money does help, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. Like a little bit, like we can all be good at money no matter what income, but it feels easier

when you have a little bit more to play with. Less stress, right? Yeah, a lot less stress. I think that's probably the main thing. I think probably though I was very aware of lifestyle creep, but at the same time I knew that I, you know, lived quite a restricted, like a privileged, but restricted life previously because there wasn't a lot of money coming in. So I wanted to make sure I gave myself enough money to do some nice things, but at the same time not spend all of my money. So yeah, I do have quite an elaborate budget coming in. I've actually done the Cheese on the Money Masterclass. Have you actually? I have, yeah. Oh my gosh, really? Did it help? It did a lot. Yeah. So I have a very fancy spreadsheet, which I'm very pleased with.

It's really sexy, isn't it? It is. Yeah, definitely worth it. It's very sexy. I don't mean to be biased. I am completely biased, but the spreadsheet is my favorite thing in the entire world. Yeah. Like it does it for you, right? Yeah, it's amazing. And that's good because I'm not great at maths in general. So yeah, I think probably my best thing with budgeting is just making sure that I'm on top of it. Oh my gosh. I love it. Ah, so good. I hate to bring down the mood. What's your worst money habit, my friend? Stress spending. Definitely guilty of that. I think there's actually in one of your early episodes, not to be a creeper. No, I love this. You talk about how sometimes when you haven't had a lot of money growing up,

there can be that tendency to spend it when you have it. And I've definitely felt myself kind of default that if I'm not on top of my budget or if I'm not kind of looking after my mental health and being aware of my self-care needs, I can just stress spend. They're so tired, aren't they? Yeah. It's crazy. I cannot believe that. I mean, obviously we've been talking about it at She's On The Money for the past four or five years, but I just really don't understand why historically we haven't spoken more about the relationship between mental health and spending and just self-care and spending and what that looks like and how your mentality and how your feeling actually impacts the way that you allocate money and spend it. Stress spending is real.

Like it's crazy. I go through it maybe once a month. I feel like it's always a check-in for me. It's never a, oh my gosh, I used to stress spend and now I'm over it. No, no, I default straight back to that. I'm really good at it. That's why I had to create that budget and cashflow masterclass because it was for me, like to make sure that I'm on top of my spending so that I can see everything in a really simple, easy way. So that when I do do that, I'm back on the bandwagon really quickly instead of falling off completely. Absolutely. And I'm the same way. That is my default when I'm really stressed. I've used that as an opportunity to, as I said, check in with myself and have a bit of self-compassion, which is a hard thing to learn, I think, if you're

naturally quite hard on yourself. Yeah. It's crazy. But yeah, being like, okay, what's going on for me here? And then, you know, taking that as an opportunity to self-reflect and go a bit deeper instead of beating up on yourself because, you know, you're spending a bit of extra money when you're really stressed. Yeah. No, couldn't agree more. All right. Last question. Now that we've had a chat, I don't know, I'm not going to tell you how I feel about this. You're going to tell me how you feel about this. You told us at the start of the episode that you think your money habits are C plus, but you're working on your emergency fund goal. You've got an investment. You're really on top of your hex. You just told me all about how you're already using my budgeting

cashflow masterclass. You talked about what you've been through and how you've come out the other side to be a killer human being. My friend, is C plus representative of your situation, do you think? And if it isn't, what are you? But if it is, what would it take to get a higher grade? I think I'm a C plus this week. This week? This week, because I did some stress spending. So I think it varies. Oh no, we don't change our grade based on that.

No, no, no, no. Okay. No, that's too high school. No. Okay, okay. Probably in general, maybe a B then. All right. What would it take to get to an A, my friend?

I think maybe more consistent investing. I would like to do that once I've gotten my emergency fund to a level I'm happy with. And then I think I'd be pretty happy. I don't even think you have to change anything to get to an A. Honestly, obviously your goals are really important. And when you achieve that, you're going to feel more like an A, but you have everything in place to be in that position. It's just going to take time. Like how cool is that to think the fact that you are already in that position to be an A, the only difference is, okay, it's just going to take some time because to build up your emergency

fund, that's going to take a few months. That'll be fine. Once that's there, what are you going to do? You're going to start investing. Like I'm so excited for you because I feel like there's nothing to change. There's nothing to update. You just have to keep on keeping on. How good. And I do have to say thank you to you. My financial literacy is all thanks to She's On The Money. Honestly, it started my journey. My friend sent me an episode back during the first season. It was the one about Hex. And yeah, from there, I feel like I've just, the world has opened up and I just, yeah. So it's really all thanks to you. That makes me so happy. We need to stop talking about it though, because I end up crying.

Okay, sorry. And that's not that sexy on a podcast, but I'm so grateful. It makes my heart so full to know that not only have we created content that impacts people, but they like love it too. Like it's just, it's so nice. Anyway, thank you so much. It has been a beautiful experience having a chat with you. I feel like I've learned so much about what you do and how you do it. And I feel like we are richer having met you. So thank you so much. I'm so grateful. Thank you for having me. the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and

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