She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: A Life Transformed In 2 Short Years

Episode Date: June 2, 2024

Today's episode discusses suicide, if that's a tricky topic for you please listen to one of our other episodes.If you or anyone you know needs help, contact lifeline online or call 13 11 14 Today's Money Diarist has been through so much in just 2 short years. After she and her ex split up he ended his life. Her whole life was turned upside down, she had to stop work and was broke. But incredibly, she is now a home owner, engaged and has a baby on the way. How did she get here? Tune in to find out! Friends! If you loved this episode, then we know you are going to love Victoria's new book! This book has been written so you can feel empowered and see that YOU have the power to rewrite your own money story! Get your copy now, click here!  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money.

She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast of millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries where I get the absolute pleasure to talk with one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Before I read out my email, I just want to give you guys a little bit of a content warning. Today's Money Diary discusses suicide in this episode. And if this is something that you would like to give a bit of a skip to, feel free. We have a plethora of other money diaries you can go and listen to. But for those of you who are going to stick along,

be aware that that is the topic that we are discussing today. So the email, it went like this. Hi, she's on the money. Two years ago, my ex and I split up and then he ended his life. As you can imagine, this turned everything upside down for me. I had to stop working and I had no money. But now in two short years, I'm a homeowner, I'm engaged and I have a baby on the way. I'd love to share my story with the community. Money Diarist, that sounds like an absolute roller coaster. How are you? Yeah, definitely a lot better now, but it was definitely a crazy time in my life and it's taken a lot to get where I am now, but wouldn't be here without the help of She's On The Money podcast, to be honest. It's helped me so much. Oh, that's so sweet. But also

you've got to do a whole heap of work to have gotten through that like on your own. That's actually crazy to have gone through that and then be kind of on the flip side and kind of be at the side of things where the light is actually at the end of the tunnel and just offline. I was talking to you about being pregnant and you seem so glowy and happy about that. And that just makes my soul like so, so happy for you. Let's dive straight in. Money Darius, what grade would you give your money habits if I asked you to give your money habits a grade from A through to F? I think I'd be sitting on about a B at the moment. A B. That's not bad. My favourite question of all time,

Money Darius, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story? Yeah. So I basically left school in year 10. I went to TAFE for a few years and did a couple odd jobs for a few years, pretty much living just paycheck to paycheck as you kind of do when you first go out into the world and start working. I realised quite quickly that that wasn't really the lifestyle I wanted. So I did a quick Google search of what was a really high paying job that you could do from home because I knew I wanted to have a family eventually. I love that. This is what led me to the accounts industry. So I started my TAFE to do my cert foreign accounts then and then quickly got into the industry in just an entry level job. That job was all right, but I

was quite undervalued and underpaid there, unfortunately. So I quickly job hopped to a few other accounts jobs. This was mainly working for civil construction companies. So that was just doing all the book work internally and all budgets and things like that, which led me to be on Better Pays, which was great, which could help me start to save. This time is when I got with my ex-partner. We were together for about four years and we tried really hard to save for a house and tried to do what we could. How did you guys meet? We actually met through work. We were actually working together and then just kind of fell in and then COVID hit. And funny enough, it just got to the point where it's like, well, if we can't see each other, we may as well live together. So it

was kind of like either move in or don't see each other because of lockdowns and everything. So it was very fast. I feel like everyone did that, right? Everyone was either like, all right, so we either end it here or we move in. There's no in between. I feel like so many of my girlfriends did that and it worked out for some and it didn't work out for others, but I feel like we had our hands forced really. Yeah, a hundred percent, but it definitely worked out. We were very happy for those four years. The thing was, unfortunately we had a little bit of trouble with money because our kind of long-term personal goals and goals together just stopped aligning, which unfortunately affected our money goals together. So instead of wanting to kind of save long-term, like me,

my partner was a bit more, okay, we've got money, let's kind of spend it, which caused some issues. Yeah. There's always one spender and one saver in a relationship, I find. Someone's always got to be a little bit spendy. Yeah. It was getting to the point where I was really struggling because I really wanted to buy a house. I was set on it for so long and it was just becoming a little bit impossible and then we ended up having that conversation of does our future kind of align are we still going in the same direction together and that's basically when we kind of realized that okay where we're planning to go in the future is not really lining up anymore so as much as we still got along and whatnot we just decided to go our own separate ways to try and focus on

our own goals yeah fair and that's such a stressful period of time as well especially because you lived together so you've got to kind of like wind all of that up and move out how did that process go yeah so that was actually quite tricky so like basically the money that we did manage to save together we've had to split that down the middle we had to split up our pets which was hard as well oh no yeah so it was like basically everything got split and then the money that we did save both ended up going into deposits for rental properties getting more furniture because everything got split so basically the savings that we did have pretty much dwindled to nothing after the split anyway which was really hard. I feel like that happens

all the time that's crazy and then what happened next? Did you end up being able to settle down and start saving again after you set yourself up? It was kind of really only a small window basically I moved out and I moved into a new house and then we were still hanging out like he was coming over probably two three times a week and bringing the other animal over so the animals could like have playdates and stuff. Oh cute yeah. And then yeah basically probably about four weeks after I moved into my house he unfortunately decided to take his life which was really difficult. I'm so sorry that is literally one of the worst things that you can go through ever. Is that something that you saw coming? He did have depression and anxiety for a lot of years

and was on meds and stuff and it was something that he dealt with day in day out and he tried his best to stay on top of it. But yeah, it was definitely a shock and definitely rocked me and his family and everyone close to him. Can't say it was expected, but yeah, so that kind of sent my life into a spiral. So the money that I did have pretty much all got spent because I pretty much wasn't able to go to work anymore. Of course not. That would have sent you for six. It would have been so all consuming and overwhelming. And I can't say that I can empathize with that situation because thankfully I haven't been in it but my god like I can't even begin to imagine how much that would essentially throw you completely out of whack with what's normal and what's going on

like that would be horrific for a couple months it was just learning to function day to day again like it just felt like all I did was sleep watch tv and like shower that was like literally my existence for a long time trying to find my feet again just trying to function day to day it was really difficult but slowly I knew I needed to go back to work got to the point where I couldn't afford my rent and I was asking my mum to help me out just so I wouldn't lose my house. Yeah wow. And then I also built up a bit of a debt with zip pay just to try and pay for groceries and just the essentials to get by just because I wasn't working and I was trying to get by without a wage coming in. Yeah of course and that's like added stress like you're already stressed you're

already overwhelmed and then money troubles get put on top of that. Of course, you ended up with a zip pay debt. Of course, you ended up overwhelmed and having to ask people for money. That's so unfair. It feels like one thing after another. Yeah, which definitely sent things into a bit of a downward spiral. So I was struggling quite a lot trying to find my feet again. So I started going back to work a couple of hours a day just to try and get a bit of money coming in again, just so I could try and figure it out and try and get on top of things. And I remember I was having probably the worst week I'd had unfortunately with losing someone after you have your funeral and everything else the check-ins kind of stop a lot and people don't talk about that a whole heap

so I found a kind of after that kind of period was when I really struggled and I wasn't really getting much check-in from many people besides like my immediate family. Yeah that's something that is so important I feel like so many people they make you lasagnas and they bring dinner over in the first week and they're checking in and asking if you're okay and you know it's all tumultuous and then there's the funeral and maybe awake and then you know the week after people are asking how you are and then all of a sudden it dries up and then you're on your own and that is I would say one of the hardest parts and that happens a lot like you don't need I don't know if you're the same but one of my girlfriends went through this and she's like I just don't need

another lasagna I just need someone to call me and ask me to come out for a walk or go for a coffee the month after. I don't, you know, need the dinners. She's like, I can't even eat at the moment, but I do want the walk. And it's so important to just be that friend that's there. You know, pester your friends in those situations. Ask them consistently. I feel like so many times we assume, oh my gosh, maybe they want some space. And they'll let you know if they want space, right? Yeah, I can 100% agree with all of that. That is all 100% true. Yeah. So I was kind of at that point where I was probably having the worst week I'd had I got to the point where I literally hadn't showered in three days and I was just sat on the couch I was ready to give up my dog because

I just felt like I wasn't taking care of her properly which was really difficult like I love my dog so much and that's when I knew something was kind of not really okay and then it just so happened that I had some tradies have to come to the house to install an air con in the unit that I was in. And the person I had been dating back in year seven walked through my front door to install an air con when I was sitting on my couch in my pajamas, hadn't showered for three days and just not in a good state at all. No. And you're like, I don't even want tradies here, but get it done I need the air con. A hundred percent and then for it to be someone I knew that walked through that door it was quite hard to deal with and it was very confronting but he had been someone

who had actually checked in on me a couple times and sent a couple messages to see how I was tracking and if I was okay. So he came in and kind of just sat on the floor and had a good talk to me and said like if I need anything that he actually just lived up the road so. Oh that's so sweet. If I just wanted some company or to get out of the house that I could go down and see him which was great. From there, we ended up hanging out a little bit and I got back into a bit more of a routine with work, which was fantastic. And kind of from there, me and the guy I'd actually dated in primary school, we ended up forming a close connection and ended up being in a relationship from there. Oh my gosh, how cute is that? I don't know about you, but I'm a little

bit hippy dippy. Like I do believe that things happen for a reason and I feel like he was meant to walk through the door and that there was a reason he came into your life at the time that you clearly needed him yeah and my mum says the exact same thing because I remember I struggled for a little bit thinking about being in another relationship again and I remember crying to my mum saying I was stressed about it and she said that you know things and people come into your life when they do to try and help you and to heal you and I couldn't agree with that more that was exactly what I needed. Yeah it gives me goosebumps I'm like ah like it was meant to be like it's really really beautiful I always feel like there's someone on the other side going like this is meant

to happen for you and it's meant to be you know the right situation at the right time and clearly you needed it so I adore that so much so tell me more what's life like now? Yeah so once we kind of got together things started to go forward for me really well and I got back into my studies so I ended up finishing my diploma of accounts. Oh congrats queen how good is that? Thanks yeah really good so that was very exciting and it kind of gave me that motivation to keep going with my career and kind of get back on track again and then I went to a new job within the first six months I was able to get three pay rises. Of course you were oh my gosh how good is that? Yeah it was pretty insane they were just very happy with the work I was able to produce and

within the timeframe that I'd been there and learning the business and stuff. So yeah, that made a huge difference to my financial situation. Yeah, of course. And it would feel good as well to go like, I actually do have this. I am on the right track. I'm doing really well. Yeah. So then that's when I kind of started picking back up on listening to She's On The Money again and taking in the content. And then that's when I paid down all my zip pay debt and got rid of that one. And yeah, just started trying to budget better and get on track just so I wouldn't end up in the situation that I was in before where I just had no money and couldn't function. So I started building up an emergency fund, all of the things. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I feel

like I'm just so proud of you, even though we've never met that you're back on track and you're back listening to the pod. So welcome back friend. We always love having you here, but where are you now? I feel like there's so much that has changed. And in your story, you said, I'm now engaged. when did you get engaged? That's so exciting. About a month ago, roughly. Oh my gosh. So like super, super fresh. Super fresh, very fresh. Oh my gosh. That is literally the best. And you have a baby on the way. I can't think of a better combo. Are you living on a high right now? Because I feel like I would be. Yes, very much on a high. And then we've just moved into our first family home together as well. And I also passed my business diploma. So it's all happened in the

past couple of months. Who are you? She's a queen. I love this so much. Oh my gosh. So life is definitely looking up and it's not looking a lot like it used to. Yes, a hundred percent. And that's what I can't reiterate enough. Like there's definitely tough times and you can fall into a pit and things can be horrible, but you've got things to look forward to as well. Life can change so fast and you just got to stick it out sometimes and get through that tough bit. And then there's always things to look forward to yeah I feel like you've got to go through the hard times to really really appreciate the good times too but if we step back a little bit because I feel like some of these things unfortunately could happen to other people in our community when you were sitting

on the couch and you hadn't showered for three days and you were just essentially a mess would you have believed someone if they'd sat you down and said look money dice this is what life is going to look like in just two short years. No, no way. I would have said they were lying through every inch of their body. Like there's no way I would have believed any of it. And I feel like that's the best part, right? Like I feel like so many of us, we go through dark times and you just think this is never going to get better. This is never going to change. And don't get me wrong. I don't think someone in a really dark situation can just jump up off the couch and be like, it's going to get better. This is the best part. But I think sometimes we have

to embrace the terrible parts, to go through that, to come out the other side and go, actually, you can't have the sunshine without a little bit of rain. Yeah. And it gives you a massive appreciation for those good things as well. Like the good things just feel a thousand times better now. I love that so much. All right. I've got so many questions for you. Can we dive into more questions? Yes, of course. I love it. All right. So you mentioned you'd graduated and you passed your diploma. So I want to know, what do you currently do for work and how much money do you earn?

So I do accounts for a re-learning business and I earn about 90k a year currently. Oh, very nice. 90k a year plus or including super? Without super. So you've got super on top of that. That is very, very sexy. And can we just remind people that you're on 90 plus super and you didn't finish year 11 and 12? You dropped out in year 10? Correct. That is so slay. I love this for you so much.

Next question I've got for you is what's your big money goal? What are you currently working towards? You just moved into your first family home, which is super exciting, but what's on the horizon? So we're basically trying to save for a wedding and the rest of our baby stuff at the moment. Oh, baby stuff is so expensive. It all adds up.

Yep. So we've got our major ticket items, but now it's just slowly saving up for kind of the rest of the stuff to make sure we have everything before bub gets here. and then yeah, for the wedding is the next thing. How did you approach baby stuff? Because when I was pregnant, I was like, am I too early to be buying cots? At what point should I be buying a cot? When should I be setting up the nursery? And if we're really honest, my nursery is still not finished and my baby's 11 weeks old. So how did you go about that? Did you just start getting

things the second you found out you were pregnant or was it something that you've only just sorted out? It was a little bit of both because me and my partner, when we got together, we pretty much decided to combine our finances straight away. And we just had it set up that there's not a his or mine wage, it's a us wage. So everything is just all combined. And then so we had our savings goals together. So we knew exactly what we wanted. So we'd been saving to have this baby for quite a long time. So we were quite prepared. So we had lots of money kind of sitting there ready to get all the baby stuff. Oh, I love that. So you're just ready to hit go. Yeah. So we basically waited until we moved into the house and then went to purchase all that stuff. But we had

the money ready to go, which was so helpful. What's been the biggest surprise when it comes to finances and babies? What's, I guess, surprised you about being pregnant and having to fund this tiny human being? Doctor's appointments. There's so many of them. Yes. And they're expensive. Are you paying out of pocket for ultrasounds too? Yeah. So out of pocket. And then if you throw in as well, I had a history of leukemia when I was little. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So it's like, there's a normal doctor's appointments and then there's all that on top of it as well to make sure my heart's functioning correct. It's just so much. Oh my gosh. So that's not only the expense, that's also a lot of time. All right. Let's go to a really quick break on the flip side. I want

to talk about debt, investments, and good and bad money habits. So guys, don't go anywhere. All right, Money Dice, we are back. I feel like I have learned so much about you and you are just like this epic, stoic, but also very shiny, happy person. I can't wait to share more of you with our community. So I want to know, do you have any investments? If so, what are they? If not, what of the plans? Basically, I've got my super, which is sitting at about 45, nearly 50k now, which is great. Oh, that's fantastic. And then we've only just started investing in shares in the past two weeks, actually. Oh, my God. She's doing everything in the last couple of weeks, shares, investments. You are engaged. You're having a baby. What haven't you done in the

last few weeks? It doesn't feel like a whole heap, to be honest. How did you pull the trigger to invest in shares. How did you end up doing that? Well, so I had done it a couple of years ago, but I didn't like how volatile it felt and like spending money on fees, which I didn't like. So I kind of withdrew it all and then put it back into like kind of a longer term savings account. But the more I've listened to the podcast lately, it's kind of been talking about shares and investing and how it can be beneficial. So we've decided to just bite the bullet and put that money back into shares account and just see how it goes for the next couple of months and just wait and see. I love this so much. And maybe we can ride out a bit more of that volatility,

but it can feel really scary at the time, right? Especially when you're saying that you invested a couple of years ago, that would have been in a relatively tumultuous time in the market. So I can imagine feeling a bit icky, especially if that was the first time. Yeah. One out of 10, do not recommend. When in doubt, guys, definitely zoom out. Let's talk a little bit about debt. You mentioned before you got into some zip pay debt and then you got out of it. Do you have any debts currently? If so, what are they? If not, how are we staying out of debt? So I managed to pay off the zip pay and the other debts I had from the time when I lost my ex, which was fantastic. So we got out of all of that. The only debt we have currently is we've just purchased a new family

car. Yep. So that cost us about 13 grand, but we've already brought that down to 10 grand now, are we? Oh my gosh. Who are you? You're smashing that down. And then my partner also had a motorbike loan he got a couple of years ago, which was unfortunately in a loan account, which we weren't able to pay extra to. Oh, isn't that annoying? Because you're so ready to smash it down and then you feel trapped by it. Yeah. So basically what we did, we got another loan from somewhere else, paid that in full, and now we can make extra repayments on the loan that we've got now. That's smart. Then you're going to get out of debt quicker. I love that for you guys. Yeah. So basically by the time baby's here, we should have both of those debts

squared and then all we have to pay is our mortgage. Oh, very, very cool. All right. You sound like you've got your head screwed on. So I want to know what is your best money habit? I would have to say budgeting. I mean, you work in accounts, so that makes sense. I feel like you should be good at that, right? Yeah. So I've just got like a little basic spreadsheet that just has our income, what we spend on a regular basis, and then what we want to put away in savings. So basically each week, it's just, we put money for our internet, water, everything else. We know that set amount that we have to move each week for all those direct debits to come out. And then same kind of thing with the

savings. It's a set amount each week that moves out. And then by the end of the week, we're down to about, you know, $10 or $0, but all the money's been dispersed how it should. So. So did you learn this through going to school and doing TAFE and stuff like that and doing your accounts? Or is this something that you've always just been really good at? I think it's a little bit of a mix of both. Like I was always not too bad at it, but going to TAFE definitely kind of cemented in exactly how to do it and the importance of it rather than just spending just because you've got it. Love. And if someone is listening and they're like, I don't have a budget, budgets feel overwhelming. Like I just don't want to do it. What would your

advice be? It is genuinely a lifesaver. Just give it a go. Even if you start out with like a non-strict budget at the start, give yourself a fair whack of spending money and then just see if you can stick to that amount. My probably worst habit used to be going out and that kind of like FOMO. So yeah, just give yourself a bit of leeway at the start and then slowly try and creep it in. And then if you can't afford to do it that week, do it the following week when you get paid again. Like, yeah. That's it. Cause there's a cashflow. It keeps coming in over time. I feel like so many times we think we're really restricting ourselves when the reality is like, if you really want something, it might just be a not right now and we can have it in the future.

We just need to be better at long-term gratification, I feel. Definitely having set exactly where you want to be going in life with your personal goals helps to achieve a good budget. Like we knew we wanted kids, so putting money away for kids was something that was important to us. So if that meant we couldn't get takeaway two nights a week to afford that, that was a sacrifice we were willing to make. I love that. And I love that it sounds like you and your partner have just gotten on the same page really quickly. You've gone, you know what, this is what we want. This is the life we're creating. And not only do we want this, we're actively going to work towards it and just get it done. That literally is the best. Yeah. And it was

instant and it stayed like that this whole time. And that's why it's been such a cruisy and amazing relationship. We've just been on the same page and it's just not changed and it's just fantastic. How good. I love this. All right. You mentioned before that your worst money habit used to be going out and FOMO, but what is it now? It's still probably a little bit of the same. I've tried to get better with it by actually getting rid of Snapchat and Instagram. That was kind of the worst catalyst for me because it would be like, I'd see my friends going out to the pub or getting a cocktail or going out for dinner. And then I was like, oh, well, I kind of want to go do that too. Now, because I don't see that happening all the time, like I used to, I don't

really get that feeling so much anymore. And I'm quite content just kind of being at home and eating food at home. Yeah, I love that. I feel like sometimes we have to like turn our stuff off so that we can focus on ourselves or focus on our own goals. I've done that a lot recently. I haven't unfollowed heaps of people, but I have definitely muted a few that I'm feeling like influence me too much to spend. So I'm like, no, like I'll go check your stories if I'm thinking about it. But sometimes it would pop up and then I would just go straight into purchase mode and I just needed to separate myself from that and that has been brilliant like I feel like I'm spending less my mental health is better because I'm not always feeling like I'm missing

out I think it's a genius thing to do and it's free yeah literally it doesn't cost a cent in fact it's going to save you money yeah money diarist I feel like I have learned so much about you and this story is incredible like it breaks my heart to know what you've been through but it also sets my soul on fire to know where you're at today like knowing that you're going to welcome a baby into the world really soon and now you're a homeowner and you've found the love of your life like I'm just so overwhelmingly excited for you but at the start of this episode you said V I think I'm a B but then you've gone through and told me that you're a homeowner you've just gotten engaged like you've already planned for a baby like budgeting's your best habit you've got a heap

in super, like you've got this epic job, despite not having finished year 11 and 12. One, do you think you're still a B? And then two, what would it take to get to that A plus for you? I do kind of feel like I'm still a B at the moment. I would like to get better with my investing to feel like I can kind of creep up into that next level. And then, yeah, because we're looking at dropping our hours for a better work-life balance. That's going to take a lot of rebudgeting and figuring things out. So I think once we've got that on track, then I may be able to jump up to that next class. I feel like you're on the way though. So that's not anything you have to change. It's just timeframes and working towards it. I love that. That means that you're going to be an A

plus in absolutely no time. I'm hoping so. I know so. Madi Darius, thank you so much. Unfortunately, that is all we have time for today but I really appreciate it I cannot tell you how excited I am to share your story with the community and how many people it's going to positively impact so thank you so much thank you so much for your time of course the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.