She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: An open heart and an open book!

Episode Date: April 3, 2022

This gorgeous community member went though several open-heart surgeries as a child and inherited a fair bit of anxiety around money due to her family situation at this time. Now that she's a hard working, hard saving nurse, she wants to know what financial stability looks like for someone at 27 years old.Warning: this episode contains discussion of sexual assault.If you or anyone you know needs support:Phone: 1800RESPECTOr head to: https://www.respect.gov.au/services/This year our Money Diaries are being brought to you by the legends at Shopback! Check them out at https://app.shopback.com/aus/partner/SOTM and you'll get a cashback bonus when you sign up!The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Infocus Securities Australia Proprietary Limited ABN 47 097 797 049 AFSL - AFSL 236523.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing and for caring for the land on which we are able to learn. We pay our respects to Elders past and present and we share our friendship and our kindness. She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another Shop Back Money Diary Monday, where we chat to one of our Gorge community members and learn about them, their story, their plans, their dreams,

their hopes, just all of the juicy, juicy details. Victoria, how are you going? I'm good. I'm not as excited about this one as you are purely because I just don't know what I'm looking for yet. You don't know what's going on, but it is a goodie. Let me give you a little overview. So our diarist wrote, I found my old therapy notes from age 12 and the big worry was my family's financials. I was hospitalized several times as a child to have open heart surgery and my dad accepted a retrenchment to stay by my side in hospital. My parents are now fine financially, but I feel like too much was shared with me as a kid and it caused a lot of anxiety about what is enough to get by. I want to know what financial stability looks like for someone at 27 years old.

Oh my God. Now I am excited to learn about that. That's heavy. For a young person, that's a lot to carry, especially because when you're not well, when you're young, you feel like a burden already. Like, oh, you feel like a burden regardless of your age. And just a little content warning as well, we will be touching on sexual assault a little bit later. So if that's something that is a little challenging for you right now. That is so totally fine. But this might be an episode that you want to give a miss. We have a heap of other episodes for you to listen to. So jump on over there now. Mani Daris, you're hanging out in the wings. Welcome to the show. Hi. Welcome. I'm

excited to have you. Thank you for taking the time to hang out with us. But without further ado, let's just throw you in the deep end. Mani Daris, tell us a little bit about your money story. Yeah. So what I wrote there, I've listened to the podcast for a while and kind of related to the whole money story thing, but didn't think it was that relevant for me. Like I couldn't think of a big pivotal moment. Little did you know. Exactly. My mom got me to go because I moved out of home last year. My mom got me to go back and deal with all my filing and stuff like that. And I found the notes from when I was a kid and it talked about kind of my big anxiety about my family and their financial situation

and I just kind of realized like whoa that still definitely translates to me now and I thought you know who would relate to this who could I tell and I instantly thought oh like the she's the money team know about money stories oh my gosh yes we do we do we want to hear it let me share that I relate now. So yeah, I sent that in. Oh my gosh, that is so special. And do you think that that kind of formed the way you've been acting around money even subconsciously as an adult today? Like how do you think that that's impacted you growing into an adult? 100%. Like I value money quite highly. I worry about not having enough. So I was very much, especially growing up like a saver rather than a spender. And even now I'm like very meticulous with where every dollar

goes in my paycheck and I think it's because I remember what it's like to not be able to afford like we still got all the big stuff we got all the food and the you know the roof over our head and but I remember the first big argument I had with my mom was whether she would buy the most recent Harry Potter book for me and she was like we just can't we can't afford it right now like you could go to the library and I was very cranky about that because I like owning my she did not want the library coffee the library's not cool yeah I've still got them here on my bookshelf at home the Harry Potter books so they were like a big thing in my childhood but yeah that idea of not being able to afford something that I considered to be so small as just a book really like threw

me but it was a lot like it was a lot in their budget at that time because clearly they were living dollar to dollar and it was all making sense until a bump in the road came up and money diarist was like excuse me but why not I don't get it so that hits kids pretty hard as well when it starts to become things that really impact them. So it's interesting to see how that translated to the way you behave as an adult, because whether it's conscious or unconscious, our money diary is so formative. I find it so interesting. So thank you for sharing that with us. But let's learn a little bit about you as an adult now. Tell us a little bit about what you do for work and how much money you earn. So I'm a registered nurse in emergency department. So I'm an RN for now.

Fancy lady. Yeah well basically just means I've been out of uni for four years but it meant that last financial year I earned $88,000. That's pretty good. Yeah last year I had what I affectionately called lockdown annual leave which is where my leave balance was too high but Sydney was still in like our big month-long couple months-long lockdown. Oh yeah yeah yeah. So I did some like uber eats driving during that time just to have a reason to get out of the house. Oh I love that. Yeah. And I made an extra $2,000 after tax. Oh my gosh. That was worth it. Yeah. Well, I mean, twofold. It stopped me from sitting in my house for four weeks in lockdown. And yeah, a little bit of extra coin to go towards the holiday fund is always nice. Yeah. That's actually

epic. I love hearing stories about people getting little side hustles that aren't necessarily always about the money. It's yeah. Great. You made two grand, but you were also like, no, I needed to get out of the house. This was basically a really good insurance policy for my mental health and to make sure that I'm still moving and doing stuff at a time when arguably a lot of people were just locked away and unable to. So I love that for you. And we still got to chat to people. Like it was still very much like, here's your food, but like, how was your day? Yeah. But you still feel like you're doing something. Yeah. Still talking to someone other than, you know, my partner who I live with. I feel like in lockdown, I was a bit like that. Whenever the postman came, I'm like,

how are you? Do you want to come in for a cup of tea? Not that I did that, but it was just a lot more interactive than it would have been otherwise. Oh, I was going to say now if I order Uber Eats, like the person guidance and drops off my food and because I get, we get to go out and see all our friends, it doesn't seem as much of a social interaction now, whereas it did last year. It was definitely exciting. Totally. Now you mentioned a holiday fund before. I'd love to know what is your big money goal? So I always set aside parts of my money like for holidays anyway. So I wouldn't really call that the big goal. The big goal for me is relatively typically millennially is to try and buy a house. So I set aside 20% of my income to a deposit account that I'm trying to get a home

deposit. So fingers crossed that'll get there sometime soon. I'm starting really into doing contributions towards my super to get that as well just to try and strike while the iron's hot hopefully so yeah buy a house smart woman now tell me a little bit about the amounts in those savings accounts because you can say look my big money goal is this but this is she's on the money I want to know how much is in that account and how much further you want to go so if you exclude my emergency fund because that's I've put that in a separate account that I don't really look at there's 10 grand in there which I guess I could tap into if I need like if it got urgent but otherwise I have $50,000 saved at the moment oh check you out you weren't wrong about being a good

little saver trying yeah oh my gosh how good and how much do you think you need for a house deposit for where you want to purchase I live in Sydney and the house surprising is yeah insane a bit and I have learned since the spicy cough lockdowns that I want like a backyard I want a house with land I realized how important it is for my mental health to be able to be outside and like not just on a little balcony yeah so it means I'm looking at like 1.2 minimum in terms of purchase price and ideally I'd like to avoid LMI so I'm going to go for 20% of that but currently I'm living with my partner. So he also has that as his goal. Like he wants a house as well. So let's go 10%. Yeah. Okay. So that'll make it a little bit easier, but obviously that's a really big goal.

Like we're not talking, let's just say 50 grand and buy something that 50 grand can buy you. How do you feel about timeframes around goals? So like, are you still committed or do you feel like sometimes you fall off the bandwagon? Because I think a lot of millennials are in this situation where they're like, oh my God, saving for a house takes forever, but it's worth it in the longterm. Yeah. I mean, I, I definitely have those moments where you're like trolling domain or realestate.com and you're seeing what you could get if you got a deposit on what you had now. And it's always disheartening, but I know that my parents now, like they've offered to let me move back in home with my partner and they set up a little space for us if we wanted

to save the money we were spending on rent. So that's something we're considering because that would save like we spend 15 grand on rent like my half of it is that much so oh my gosh wow Sydney renting is also expensive but if that would mean that that would be 15 grand that I could save without having to like do it yeah and that's a massive saving like that projects you so much further forward when it comes to saving for a home and if you're moving back in like arguably you and your partner if you're both doing that that potentially is another 30 grand a year like that's wild. Yeah. So that's what we're talking about at the moment, but he's a bit older than me and has lived out of home for a lot longer. So he's obviously very hesitant to give up that

independence to move back in, especially with my family. Yeah. It's definitely a balance of values and what you want to do and how it's working. I totally understand that. Moving on from goals, I want to know, do you have any investments? So I have my super, which I never really thought of as an investment until the podcast but it is but it is I promise it's got 30,000 in it at the moment hey that's pretty good for your age yeah I think it's like I this was a little I think you guys might have posted it like a little what's the average for your age bracket yeah probably yeah so that sounds like something Jess would have done to us and that's kind of average which is good it's nice to just know you're on track yeah I always thought I was behind because I didn't

really like a lot of people start working at 14 and nine months and they keep grinding whereas my first job I was 18 like it was I couldn't work during high school so it was I was always worried that I'd be behind but it's nice to know that I'm kind of on average and then last year I put my tax return into a raise account and oh my gosh who is she I know I just contribute like the price of one coffee a week, which I know isn't a lot. No, no, no, no. I used to quote on the podcast all the time from little things, big things grow and they really do. It's about the habit and it's about forming those habits and creating consistency. So when your income increases or your situation changes, you can make that change. And also I'm very risk averse. So I went, if I can give up

one cup of coffee. Slowly. Yeah. Like I could handle not having one coffee. You're like, if I lost a cup of coffee this week, it wouldn't be the worst thing. So let's start investing with that. I love that. Exactly. I dropped my coffee on the floor the other day and that was also $5 down the drain. Oh my gosh. It was so disappointing. I love that for you.

Next question is, do you currently have any debts? I feel like you're going to say no. I feel like I'm pretty good at predicting this, but what is it? No, I don't currently have any debts. Oh, I'm a genius. I have had debt. I got a car loan to buy a car, but then I also got, essentially I got a payment for being a victim of a crime.

and use that to pay off my car loan. So now, apart from my HECS, I'm debt-free. That is a really terrible money win. I mean, yeah. It's a money win because you got money and got to pay off a debt, but you probably experienced something really traumatic. Yeah, but... Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's like, I can joke about it now. And I think of it now as,

let's just focus on the fact that I got that money. I mean, no debt. I'm debt-free, except for my HECS. But you know, that dies with me anyway, so. All right. So we're going to come back to that after the break. But moving on from my question about debt I want to ask about good money habits but before I get there my friend you're in the she's on the money community you knew that you wanted to share money wins with us so it's a logical assumption to assume that maybe you use shop back can you tell us if you do or if you've had any experience with it before I do I do use shop back I hadn't

heard of it before the podcast I was I had the honey extension the one that like oh my gosh I remember. Yeah, they used to give you like discount codes. And it was really annoying though, because I got, I reckon six emails a day from that thing. Oh, 100%. And I was like, no, the emails are worth it if I save some money. Yeah. Shop back, no emails, like unless I want them, which is even better. I don't feel like they're spamming my inbox. And so far I've got like $30 sitting in there, which will be a nice little treat at some point. I love that. I have been trying to use shop back as much as possible. If you're a long-term listener of the pod, you'll know that Jess uses Shopback on all of our business purchases. So hers is looking probably incredibly

healthy right now, but I'm planning on drawing mine out at Christmas time and using it on Christmas groceries because I feel like that's the thing that gets away from me at Christmas. I budget for presents and organize all of that stuff, but I totally forget how much I spend on groceries. But moving on before someone mentions the fact that I did a webinar with Shopback one time and said, it's just like honey guys in front of the MD of shop back, which was just, they still work with us so far. So good. I want to know another one of your good money habits, my friend, what is your best money habit? I'd probably go with my best money habit at the moment is automation. Like all my pay. I'm very fortunate that I work for the government. I work

in a public hospital and they allow you to separate your pay into like six separate chunks. so oh how good is that so I've worked out how much my bills for the year work out to be for the month and then set that aside and then I get my 20 deposit and I set that aside and you know five percent goes to my little holiday account set that aside each month so it just means that I never feel short so I think that's probably my best I really like that so are you saying that what hits your actual bank account that you kind of have a debit card with that's just what you can spend and you know you can spend because everything else is already pre-allocated? Yeah, pretty much. So I do HelloFresh for meals, but for breakfast and little

snacks and things like that, I've still got to put the groceries on that card. But other than that, if I want to go out with my friends or if I want that cheeky second coffee for the day, I know that that money is there for the month. I really like that. I feel like that sounds very similar to the budget and cash flow system that I am a massive fan of because I created it incredibly biased. But it's really about automating all of the things except your food, your fuel and your fun, because you still have to like tap a debit card for those things. And it just makes sense. But as you said, if you want another cheeky coffee, it's easy to do because in the back of your mind, you're like, oh, I was pretty good with groceries this week. It doesn't

matter too much if I do that. Or if you went over and had a few more splurge items in your groceries, you'd be like ah no more coffee I'll just have our tea when I get home yeah and I mean reading your book did make me change my system a little bit oh really how tell us spill the beans it was probably more to do with the like making sure your fixed expenses are split up per pay cycle and automating that whereas I was trying to like guess before and being like oh I think it'll be like this much a month or that much a month that's how you stress yourself out yeah that's how you end up in a pickle. I had a spreadsheet and it was like, it was, I was close. That's more than guesswork. That is better than anything. That is better. That's for sure. I like that. And I think

that we've just turbocharged it. We're working together for your cashflow. I love it. Absolutely. All right. Let's flip this on its head. Money Diarist, what's your worst money habit? I thought about this one a lot, mainly because I didn't have like a gut answer or if I did, it wasn't one that I thought was like quote unquote valid. I think if anything, it's that I don't treat myself like I go to work like 40 hours a week. We all do. And I don't like spending my money. I think that comes from that anxiety of not knowing whether I'll have enough, which is silly because I didn't really struggle with that much as a kid. But I think it's because I don't want to be without the money that I do have. So I guess my worst money habit is that I don't

spend it on me that often. Other people, a hundred percent, if you're my friend and it's your birthday, have a gift. But for me, I kind of hold onto it very tight. I feel like that's really common, especially given the context you've provided us with around how you grew up around money and that you kind of have carried that as a burden. And the way you compensate for that in a way is to overcompensate when it comes to money and hoard it and not diffuse it when it comes to looking after yourself. But I do think that a healthy budget long-term does include self-care because self-care is going to mean that you are better at work and you're able to, you know, put more into your job and ultimately earn more money and be more sustainable. So definitely

treat yourself. But it sounds like you're learning a little bit because before we started recording, you did say for your birthday, you are getting yourself a nice massage. Yes. And I have made sure that there will be, you know, enough in my little spending account to make sure that happens because payday is after my birthday. Oh, I hate that when you're like, no, I wanted this nice thing, but I'm going to have to budget for it a month in advance. I get paid fortnightly. My birthday's on the Tuesday and payday's on the Wednesday. Oh no. It's like just that little bit too tight, but that's okay. We'll have enough. Or if not, I could steal a little from my travel fund and put it back when I get paid.

We can replenish that later. That is fine. You definitely deserve the massage. Yeah. Money Diarist, last question before we head to a quick break is if we forced you to give yourself a money grade, what would you grade yourself? I'm probably going to go with, like, I don't really understand the whole pluses and minuses of the grade system. Oh, you can just make it up, honestly. I think that's what everybody else does.

We don't fact check it. Yeah. So we'll go with like a B. I'm not great, but I've definitely improved a lot. And but I still think I have a way to go. But I'm like the higher end of the B scale. So like a B plus? Yeah. Maybe a B plus.

We'll give you a B plus, I reckon. If that's how it works. I'm going to be honest, I don't really know. But let's, yeah. I reckon there's a few people listening that are like money diarist. You've got a really healthy emergency fund, saving for a house. Sounds like you've got a budget and cash flow system that is incredibly efficient. They're going to be shaking their phones right now listening to you going like,

get it together, you're an A. I won't argue with you, but I do have a few questions for you right after this quick break. all right diving straight back in money diarist when you wrote into Jess you explained that you'd been going through some stuff at your parents house and found some notes that you'd left and like kind of like journal entries from when you were little about how you were stressed about money and I'd love to know a little bit more about that process and how that has affected you in the long term because Jess said you had was an open heart surgery when you were young yeah oh my gosh that is a lot of trauma to carry, but obviously created a fair bit of financial burden on your

family, given your dad went through a retrenchment to make sure he could hang out with you, which is so special. But could you tell us a little bit about that period of your life? Yeah. So the notes that I found were like, it was after I heard that I needed another surgery. So I had one when I was born and then the second one when I was 14. But when I was 12, I started getting sick with the symptoms of my heart condition. And I overheard the doctor telling my parents that I needed extra heart surgery, which my parents had never really spoken to me about because they wanted me to be a happy child. Exactly. Like I played rep sport, like I was very fit and healthy and they didn't really want that burden hanging over me. It's stressful. And a kid doesn't fully

comprehend that, especially if it's a maybe, right? Yeah. Right. It could have been in 10 years from that point, it could have been two years from that point. It could have been six months from then. Like I wasn't going to know. So my parents didn't tell me, but then when I did hear, I didn't talk to them either. So I kind of compartmentalized and bottled all that up and got a bit stressed. And yeah, I was a very much a diary kid. I wrote a lot and then my dad got retrenched from his job or accepted in a retrenchment, I guess. Can you, before you go any further for anyone who doesn't know what a retrenchment is. Can you just explain that for them? My understanding, I'll put it out there. Yeah. Is essentially. I'll confirm nor deny.

Yeah. Thank you. It's essentially the business went, we no longer have a role that suits your needs. So you can either take this chunk of money to leave the business or we can try and fit you in a hole, but it won't necessarily be at the same pay grade or in the same position. And that was kind of my understanding of it. She's not wrong. Yeah. So it's similar to a redundancy. Similar to a redundancy, but it's kind of like a negotiation.

Yeah. Okay. It's a bit more in your court about what the outcome is in comparison to a redundancy where they're like, hey, Jess, your services are no longer needed because you don't have a job here anymore. Yeah. Okay. This is the outcome.

It's a bit more in your hands. But in saying that, the world is wild and that doesn't mean that every business treats it in exactly the same way. I could see though, if that's the case and if it was a bit in his power to negotiate why he would have elected to take that, to spend more time with you knowing that you were going to have that surgery. Yeah. So he actually was one of the ones that sat with me. I have siblings and my mum spent a lot of time with them, but my dad and I are really close and he was probably a better presence to have at the bedside anyway. At 14, I can absolutely attest to that. I used to fight like

cat and dog with my mum but my dad would walk in and I'd be like hi dad love you right I was a pest I think my mum and I are very similar so we kind of butt heads a lot same which complicates things love you mum if you're listening sorry mum doesn't know me but like she doesn't know that I'm doing this but I still love you we won't tell her don't worry but mine listens we need to remind her that I love her still hello Judy with your surgery did you guys have and you may not know this because obviously you were quite young. Did you have private health? Were there additional expenses that were incurred as a part of that, that then added to the stress that you were experiencing? So I did have private health insurance, not me personally, but my family. And fortunately for

us, the business that retrenched my father, part of that was that we were able to keep the corporate private health insurance. Oh, incredible. Oh, money win. Yeah, absolutely. The fact that he was able to negotiate that into the process. There were a few kind of out-of-pocket expenses afterwards because I had some complications after my surgery that required a bit more time and kind of accommodations to be made in my house. So they all came out of pocket, which my parents not like reminded me of in a sense that they blamed me for it, but it was like money's tight at the moment because we have to afford you know this appointment that's coming up and this new bed for you and yeah and it's like really nice that they're being transparent

but I think in those moments sometimes they don't realize the impact of their words like they weren't trying to make you feel guilt or blame but that's the way you took it because you're young and you go well that's why we can't do other cool things it's me oh like it was things like oh well normally for our birthdays we get to choose either what we want or where we want to go for dinner if we get to go out and it was one of those times that mum was like look we can't go out for birthday dinners because obviously that's more expensive than cooking at home most of the time and she would say like I'll still cook you whatever you want but we just can't because we've just had to pay for this like yeah I ended up getting one of those like hospital beds you know they're like sit up

and fold down. So spino. So that was like, they still provided for me and, you know, like, I don't want to say that I'm talking down about my parents at all. Oh, you're absolutely not. I don't think anyone listening would think that at all. It's like their circumstances were that they were like, we've got this kid, we're looking after them, we're giving them all our resources. Kid, do you understand that that's why maybe in other areas we're not able to do it? It wasn't because of you or that they were doing the wrong thing was actually because they cared to share. Yeah. And I think that's really important too.

Yeah. And I mean, I think in hindsight, as much as it was a big stressor for me, I didn't want to take away from my parents. I then became super mindful of what I was spending and what I was asking for. But I'm also glad they told me because otherwise I think I would have been- Confused. Yeah. Confused, frustrated. And the alternative to that potentially could have been you feeling guilty as though they were taking it off you for another reason. If you hadn't comprehended why that was happening, like, oh, we had to buy a really expensive hospital bed. You'd be like, yeah, did I do

something wrong? Why aren't we going out for birthday dinners? Like, why have we taken that away? So I think it's important for you to understand context, but it's so interesting to see how children interpret the world in that way and how that impacts you now today in the way that you have your money habits and beliefs and values and that you haven't been spending a lot on yourself because you're like, I need to make sure that I'm hoarding the money that I have, which I totally understand. Yeah. And I mean, I've always been told that I will at some point need another surgery. So that's also just like it probably would have been when I was a kid, that little voice in the back of my head being like, make sure just in case something goes wrong

again. So, yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's so stressful. That's OK. That makes a lot of sense. And I know that there are a couple of other things we want to ask you about from your story. But one more thing for me, I relate to a lot of things you said because I grew up in a single income household, So I totally get that stress. Have you spoken to your mom or your dad since as an adult? Because I think the thing that's really interesting is like that Harry Potter book, for example, that you still remember so dearly that she wasn't able to get that for you. I would imagine that that incident is probably burned into her brain as well as a parent, the guilt of not being able to provide for your child, something that they want and something like a book in the scheme of

things is a relatively affordable item for most people. And it's a luxury. And that is a very privileged thing that just came out of my mouth to say, but a $20 book, for example, is more accessible than a $500 Xbox or something like that. Yeah, totally. Jokes that you think an Xbox is only $500 nowadays. But have you spoken to her or your dad since then and kind of reflected on how they felt as well? Or is this something you've kind of held a little close to your chest? A bit of both. I've spoken to my parents about how them talking about their finances affects my, I guess, level of security and about how, even though I really appreciate that they took care of me and my emotional and my physical needs, I don't think that hearing about their finances is the best for my mental health. Yeah. because it is, it's like, I remember two fights that I've had with my mother and one of them is

about the Harry Potter book. The other is that she didn't like the way I did my hair. Like they're the two moments that I think about when I think about fighting with my mom. Yeah. Okay. We're getting better at it now. Like they're in a much better financial situation. They're both stably full-time employed. They've recently been able to renovate their house, which is really exciting. So we're talking more about that and about, you know, how they had to reconsolidate their loans and take out a new mortgage for the renovation and we're able to have those conversations now yeah but we don't really talk about the before times or you know yeah the impact that it had on you when you were younger yeah and I think that's fair like it's just a place you

don't need to go sometimes and like they know that I struggled with it but they were they were struggling with it too and I think there's a lot that I don't know yeah of course of course there's a lot to that story that they wouldn't have told me. And I was the oldest of us kids. So yeah, I think we've just both agreed that we'll just be more mindful about how we talk about each other's financial situation in the future. I like that you could have that conversation with your parents. How many people can say I've had an open, honest conversation about the way I have money conversations in my family? Like no one can say that. That is so, I love that. Very, very healthy. Yeah, very healthy, knowing boundaries, understanding them, and also just respecting

them. Like, what is that about? I love that. So the other big thing, I guess, that you touched on before Money Diarist is that you paid off your car because you received a lump sum payment following being a victim of a crime, which really disappointingly is more common, I think, than people would maybe necessarily realize. So I just wanted to chat with you a little bit and, of course, only share as much or as little as you're comfortable with. But just about what happened, how that payment worked. And I'd love to know how you felt about that as well, because I think that's a really unique way to receive money that potentially could be tied to some icky feelings for you, which would have been hard to handle. Yeah. So while I was on placement as a

student nurse I went out with some friends one night and was a I am a survivor of sexual assault which happened when I was out that night and part of that process when you are sexually assaulted is you can get referred to a sexual assault support service which is based out of kind of the big metropolitan hospitals in the regions yeah so I went and spoken to a counsellor and had a lot to work through understandably of course but because I was on placement there was some talk about me not finishing my degree um because you have to make a certain number of hours and I was a bit stressed and didn't really think that I was of course in the best mental headspace to go and care for other people so the council that I was speaking to said hey there's this way that you

can apply for I don't really know exactly what they called it but it's like a hardship fund yeah where you write in and you say I have been a victim of a crime this is affecting my life I would like some funds to help support me it's meant to cover all sorts of things so like going to and from your counseling appointments if you have to go to court and park at the courthouse and that's expensive or just like to live your life still you know yeah of course because it can have a big impact on you fortunately the assailants in my crime pled guilty so I didn't have to go to court and testify which is wow great that's so rare like I am so happy that that was the situation for you but for a lot of people who are like oh I was in that situation

for them to plead guilty and actually get to the stage of court like that is so rare yeah and I mean I'm gonna say I was fortunate but that's probably not the you're not fortunate we won't be using that word my friends no but I was fortunate that the crime was on tape so it was caught by CCTV so there was no ifs ands or buts about it the only thing I had to do was identify the people involved who it was and then deal with the trauma that you experienced because you said before that that money is there for what you need it and I'm really glad that that fund didn't have any I guess caveats on what you could use it for because when you're a victim of something like that or when you're involved in any kind of personal tragedy I think people who haven't

experienced it might underestimate the impact that that could have on your ability to just do simple day-to-day things and it's a big ask for someone to experience something like that and then just go back to work or go back to uni like yeah at the time I worked at what we as what we call an assistant in nursing so it's like you're not registered but you go and you do like the bed baths and you keep patients company and you you know help out with mobilization and stuff like that yeah but I wasn't in the right headspace to go absolutely not so some of that money went towards kind of covering my bills and things like that the therapy that I was going to as well when I did feel better to go back and finish that placement it was a rural and remote placement so

I used the money to pay for like single accommodation. Oh, good. The time that I went, I was staying in a hostel and that kind of crowded culture wasn't something that I was quite ready for after the assault. No, absolutely not. So I paid for a hotel room with the money and then, yeah, what I had left over, I went, what will make me less stressed right now?

No debt. Yeah, exactly. So I could use all my mental energy on kind of working through that event and getting back to graduating and my life after that was all over back to where it should have been yeah exactly what incredible clarity from you in that moment to be able to step back and say this is what I need right now and that's okay you are incredibly impressive and so strong and thank you for sharing that with us like that's a big thing to share and I'm so grateful that you were really candid with us in our community, because we know the statistics say

like it's so much more common than it ever should be. And it's really, really appalling. So I have no doubt that there will be people listening to this, relating to it as much as I wish that they weren't. Yeah. I mean, they talk about the percentage and the people that go through this and you don't really want to be part of the percent, but at least you know that like our country has a lot of free and financial support for victims that have gone through these sort of things. And some of the therapy was free. So I guess to anyone that's listening and that has gone through that and is struggling to access mental health care, it could be something to look into. And we'll definitely pop some resources in the show notes for anybody who needs to access

that for themselves or for somebody that they love. Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that. Unfortunately, I do think that that is all we have time for today. So thank you for taking the time and yeah, hanging out with us and sharing some really intimate details about your life and your finances and your history and how you've gotten to be where you are today. I know our community absolutely appreciates it. Thank you for having me. The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or a financial decision. And we promise Victoria

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