She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Changing savings habits to create more opportunity

Episode Date: January 2, 2022

WELCOME TO THE FIRST EPISODE OF 2022!!!! This week on the show we speak to a money diarist who's always been able to save when she needed to but didn't have any long term savings, now life is changing and IVF is on the horizon her money story has had to change to move forward.This year our Money Diaries are being brought to you by the legends at Shopback! Check them out at https://app.shopback.com/aus/partner/SOTM and you'll get a cashback bonus when you sign up!The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN 34 132 463 257 - AFSL 339151.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Happy Monday. Welcome back to another Shopback Money Diary Monday episode, where we, Victoria, chat to one of our gorgeous community members. Literally the best day of the week. The most fun episodes are Money Diaries. Like, I'm not hearing it. I don't even care that on Friday drinks,

we literally sometimes drink. Still more fun on Money Diaries. I completely agree. And this week, we've got another banger. So... Oh, we always have a banger. I mean, in saying that, that's because we have a wonderful content producer who makes sure that every money diary is super engaging. In saying that, everyone's money story is always really exciting to hear. So, I just, do you ever get a bad money diary? I don't think we've ever had a bad money diary. I don't think we have either. And if you do want to submit your diary, there's a form on our website you can fill out. We read all of them. We get so many and we're so grateful. So, if you don't hear from us, we're really sorry, but we're just really

lucky that we get to read and engage with all of these stories and then share them with you guys. Unless we read them. If we haven't replied, at least know that every money diary that comes into our inbox does get read. We sometimes just don't have the capacity to get back to you. But in saying that, today's money diary, Jess, could you read out their email? Let's get into this. So, this week's diarist said, I have always been able to save for things I prioritize and where possible have been debt-free. However, I've never had savings until the last few years. now being the primary income earner with a mortgage paying for uni as i go and ivf on future horizons over the past 10 years i've had to learn and grow with my now husband to manage

my mindset when he will spend several hundred dollars a week on lost consumables and for the first several years of our relationship we would live week to week being a saver it blows my mind so i've had to establish a balance to move forward in our relationship without being his mom oh that is a big one. The mum card. Money Diarist, you are obviously on the line already. Welcome to the show. Oh, I have so many questions. I feel like this is such an exciting Money Diary and so relatable. Like how many people are going to be listening to this and they're like, you know what, I do feel like I'm mothering my partner sometimes. And where's the line? Like, how do you manage that? I'm going to learn a lot about this, but as always, we are going to start with our structured

questions. So, first things first, money diarist, what is your attitude towards money? I think it's pretty good. I've always kind of lived as I've gone, but I've always been able to say for what I've wanted to do. So, I've never sort of had the privilege of having a good income in the background. My parents were, mum was single parent. So, I've always sort of worked from 13 and had to do it myself. Epic. And how much money do you earn and what do you do for work, money diarist? Yeah. So I'm the team leader of a support coordination team that works through the NDIS and I'm on 95,000 a year. Oh my gosh. Do you know how many people Jess have been on the show

recently? A lot of them. Oh my gosh. You guys are special humans. And to know you're all in our community, how lucky are we? It's a big industry. Look, it's a massive industry, but it's full of special people. And to know that you guys are all here, like that is obviously an job, great income, but that would be a very taxing job. Do you find that to be the case? Yeah, it can be very, I guess I'm organizing other people's lives. So I'm great at doing theirs. I come home and mine's a disaster. Isn't that the case? The plumber always has a leaky tap, hey? Money diarist, what is your big money goal? I've kind of achieved all my goals, but I think what we're aiming for is to buy a little

second property as a bit of a holiday home. So, that's sort of a long-term goal with all the market at the moment. So, no rush, but that's something we want to work towards. Oh, that is so exciting. What is the most recent money goal that you achieved? As you've heard from me, I'm kind of paying my uni fees as I go. So, that's really where I'm aiming for every trimester in just getting those paid. Before you mentioned that you had a mortgage and obviously you are getting on top of saving, How have you managed, Money Diarist, to pay uni upfront? Is that a choice or is that because maybe you don't have access to HECS? Like, why did you make that decision?

So, I do have access to HECS. Obviously, I am originally from the UK, but I am a citizen. So, I was going to put it onto my help, but then I was talking to the finance officer at uni at work and she'd actually mentioned if I pay it off as I go, if I'm in a position to do that, I could claim it on my tax. Oh, money win. That's actually a really good tip, actually. If you're working at the same time as doing uni and it's a related degree to your current employment, you can actually claim it. That's a bit of a money win, hey? Yeah. So, I would have like really the money would just be going into my savings at this point anyway. So, I just thought, why not? I'm going to pay it anyway.

I wanted to sort of pay it as I went or close to, so. And hey, if you're able to claim it on tax, that is one of the bigger money wins, especially when you have a $95,000 income. Any claim is absolutely worth it. Next question, Money Diarist is, do you currently have any investments? I do. I started with Spaceship after I started listening with you guys. And a few weeks ago, I invested into ComSec, saying that I have no clue what I was doing. So, we'll see how that goes. Sometimes the best way to get started is to just get started. can you tell me a little bit about why you chose that platform and how you made the decision to just go boots and all in and download the app and start investing on it? Yes I wanted to my big goal

I guess that was probably my big money goal was to invest but I just haven't had time to learn about it so I sort of then realized through your podcast that going to a financial advisor I'd need to be investing a lot more um so I don't think I'm in the position to do that yet but I wanted to at least achieve something towards that goal this year. Oh, I love that. And that's actually one of the most frustrating things about our industry. I find all about my industry is that financial advice can be so inaccessible and it's just so frustrating when you're in a position where you're like, you know what? I want to create wealth for myself. I really want to create a secure financial future. I've saved maybe my first $5,000 and I want to go see a financial

advisor, the idea that a statement of advice for investment can be so prohibitive. I don't want to save my first five grand and then have most of that taken up in fees with a financial advisor. It just feels like you're going backwards. So, I totally get that. And that is why I'm such a big fan of people making those steps themselves or going onto our Sixpack platform and learning more about it in their own way. Because sometimes you just don't need a financial advisor to start the journey. I'm like, I probably should be telling you all that you need a financial advisor as a financial advisor, but I think we've learned enough on this podcast to give it a hot crack ourselves. Hey. Yeah. So, yeah, no, it's just to get onto it. And then, yeah, I think over the

next few years I'll go a bit bigger, but yeah, definitely need to do my education on that one. Small steps are still steps in the right direction, Money Diarist. Next question is, do you currently have any debts? If so, what are they? Yep. So, we've got our mortgage and then we've got a car loan which has $20,000 remaining on it. And tell me a little bit about your mortgage. How do you manage that one month to month? Yeah. So, I actually pay $1,000 extra each month off that. Who are you? You're just like a little money whiz. You came on Money Diaries to show off how good you are at money. So, I actually, when the interest

rates went really low, I decided to split it between variable and fixed. So, with that, I was able to sort of have half of it fixed half variable so I could pay extra repayments but the way my salary packaging was set up was it was going to the wrong account where I had to pay most money so I just went Joe what I'm not losing it let's leave it where it is and then I've just paid the extra repayments to the other account I love that I feel like you're super on top of it my next question money diarist is do you use shop back so I've actually had shop back for years I used to use it on good old eBay back in the day. I don't do much online shopping, but I do have it. Oh, I love that. I feel like everyone's got their own journey with it. And it's not a

she's on the money, money win if you haven't really used Shopback in addition to buying something online. Next question, money diarist, what is your best money habit? I think if there's something I want to achieve, I'll do it. Regardless of what financial position i'm in previously to this job i would work just casual jobs retail sales um but regardless of the income if i want to achieve something i work towards that how do you have that mindset now i'm asking that because i just feel like so often we see other people achieving goals and you look at yourself and go oh i could never do that or that's not achievable for me how have you got the mindset of like no if i want to achieve something i'm gonna do it like how do we learn from you i think

where I grew up a lot of people had sort of more money than me around me so I always had to save and pay for stuff myself my mum was never in a position to just go and buy me what I wanted so I think because I've grown up having to do everything by myself and that's since I was 13 14 I've just gone do you know what life's too short if I want something I'm the only one that I can rely on to do that and then you've just put your mind to it and gotten it done and have you ever found that you've been disappointed with that journey like have you ever been like wow like I've set this goal and not been able to achieve it or are you just like no even if I come up against a hurdle I'm gonna make it work somehow um I think I'm really good at winging it so I

think even if I've tried to aim for something I've kind of got where not in a braggy way but I've kind of always been able to get there whether it's extending the timeline a little bit or just going nope that's a goal and if I'm having to live off super noodles for every week and every day for the next six months. That's how it's going to happen. I adore that. And I feel like it's such a good story because it's a piece that so many people go, oh, I could never do that because they're not willing to make that sacrifice. And achieving goals is often very much about sacrifice. And you just said, even if I have to live off super noodles, like that's just it, right? Like you've compromised something to achieve a goal that was

more important to you. I love that. I think that is a great money habit. I had a lot of friends in the UK for years go, how did you afford to go over there? How are you affording it? But each week they're buying the new clothes, they're getting their nails done, they're getting their hair done. Last time I got my nails done was maybe a year and a half ago for a wedding. So, it's prioritizing those needs. I do think, and this is going to be a bit rich coming from me because if you guys have seen me on social media, I do always have my nails done and I am a big fan of eyelash extensions but I think we really need to remember that those things are luxuries they aren't necessities and I think that in this year and this day and age we get

confused between luxuries and necessities and we confuse the two and you go oh no but I need to get my nails done and I have to have my eyelashes done it's like well actually you don't and if you've got a bigger goal that isn't eyelashes or nails that stuff adds up I know here in Melbourne in getting your nails done. If I go into the city because, you know, we're Melbourne based, it's about 50 bucks to get our nails done at a minimum. And then lashes are even more. And that adds up like each and every single month. That is a really big amount of money to be allocating in your budget. And I'm not meaning to sound shamey because don't don't get me wrong. I do these things. But something I've learned very recently, well, not not even recently, it feels recently

because it was at the start of COVID, is doing my own nails and how much money I've saved. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can have my cake and eat it too. So, it's interesting how you're saying, hey, yeah, like they were going and doing these things, but that's their value set. We're not shaming it. We're just saying you had a goal and you work towards it. I adore it. But flip side of that, my friend, what's your worst money habit? worse is I think in we'll talk probably more about it but because my husband will go and spend money freely I'll go and be like oh well if you're spending it I can go and justify buying this amount of money um and I get I don't get out of control but I do sometimes buy stuff because

I'm like nope I deserve it yep you've done it so I get to do it do you find that that compromises your bigger goals in any way um probably not because I'm not a big spender on an everyday basis. So, I don't just spend a lot on a weekly basis. I'm kind of one of those people where I'll live off my needs and put it aside, but then I don't track if I want to go and buy myself something. Yeah, that's fair. Marnie Dyrist, last question before I get to deep dive into asking the pervy questions I have been chomping at the bit to ask. If we forced you to give yourself a money grade, what would you grade yourself? I think an A, but I think I definitely want to work more in that investment area in the long term. So, I've still got a little bit there

to go. I love that. Let's go to a quick break and then I'm going to ask those deep, pervy questions about your relationship. We are back, Money Diarist. I want to just get straight into it and ask you about your relationship and your different money stories. So, let's start there. You said before that you grew up in a single parent household. Is that how your partner grew up? Or why do you think that your money stories are so different? So, I grew up with a single mom, two siblings. He grew up, his parents were separated, but they live around the corner to each other. They don't get on, but he used to sort of go from one house to the other and he was able to play his parents off each other to get what he wanted. Oh gosh. Yeah. Okay. We all know

someone who was able to do that. Yeah. Whereas I had to work for my own money. So, we met in, he's actually from overseas. So we actually met in Australia backpacking 10 years ago when we was 20 years old. Oh, so sweet. And you're from the UK. So you've decided to both settle here? Yes. Oh my gosh. What a dream. How lucky we are to have you. Thank you. So talk to me about managing that relationship. And obviously you're a little bit more headstrong when it comes to setting goals and you're willing to compromise, you know, food and other things so that you can achieve how do you manage that in a relationship and as you said in your email when you feel like sometimes you're being the mum in the relationship so it's been hard it's

definitely not been easy and for the first couple of years we were both just living week to week and having fun and going on ad travels etc but then I think it kind of got to a point where we were paying for visas which were excessive amounts of money and having to actually save for those sorts of things yeah okay so we've never had a joint bank account that's something we've never done. And it's just worked for us. I think if I could see what he was spending, we probably wouldn't be together today. So it's been able to balance out what he's spending and what he's doing, but not controlling that. I guess something I've had to sort of come to realization is that he also works. He's earning his own money. And it's as much as I need him to contribute to the bills

in mortgage and if he's not earning as much one week, we still need to pay those. I can't not tell him to not enjoy the money that he's working hard for. Yeah. And I guess that's a really important part of it as well, because everybody's money story is so different, but it's that feeling of, am I being your mom? Like, am I telling you what's going on? And it never feels nice, right? Like we've all been in a situation before where we're like, oh, I shouldn't have to do this. So how do you manage those bigger goals so you mentioned before you've got a mortgage I'm assuming that you worked towards having a mortgage together how did you manage those big money goals in a relationship when you're like oh my gosh I feel like I'm the one driving this this car so he's

actually really easily manipulated is that fair to say I mean that's probably not how I would want to put it publicly but it's on the podcast now so for example I might be like oh babe let's do this and look at buying a house and he'll be like no we can't afford it I'm like oh let's just go look at some display homes this week and then a few weeks later he's like let's do it so I plant the seed as if it's his idea well really it's all my idea oh genius we won't let him listen to this podcast then we'll be like what are you talking about that wasn't her no but I think we've tried a few different things over the years but I think the best thing that's worked for us is because he if the money sits in his bank it's gone it just

like he could get paid every week and it will just disappear so what we do is he will have he set spending money i'll let him sort of work out what he needs and then everything else goes over to my bank so i have control of the savings i have control of sort of paying all the i left him to pay bills and they'll be left unpaid um so i pay all the bills he i think he pays the electricity bill that's his one responsibility um so he does contribute towards all that sort of stuff but he doesn't see how it goes up if that makes sense yeah okay can i ask because i think this is a really interesting way of doing it and a lot of people will be listening going oh my gosh like my partner's the same maybe a little bit less fiscally responsible how did you broach that

conversation with your partner because obviously you probably didn't want to turn around and be like, I'm taking control and you get no say. So, how did you come to the decision to manage it this way? Does he check in at all or is it fully left up to you? Yeah, look, we're very open. Anytime he wants to look at it, it's there. It's nothing that's hidden between us. It's available to both of us. I think it's just one of those ones over the years. I think it probably still happens at least once a year. We have an argument over finance and I just sit there and go, okay, I'm going to write down every single bill we pay and you can just pay me 50% of that. once he realizes how much all the bills actually pay, because it does come up that he goes, well,

you're just taking all the money sometimes and I'm just giving you the money. So, it's actually, here's everything we pay. And from your income, we actually only contribute a little bit towards that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And so, when it comes to, I guess, his side of the story, he's obviously not here, but how do you think he feels about that? And having, you know, just heard what you said, sometimes he's just clearly not privy to the amount of time energy and effort that goes into managing household and managing bills and getting things done from his perspective how do you think he he feels about this dynamic i think he's actually grateful for it look we're very open with each other um i think he knows like he was paying a few of the bills when we first moved into

the property and we're getting the overdraft bills and he's just like oh yeah i forgot about that one I'm like, okay, let's just put it all over to me. Like, so we did try the whole, you pay some bills, I pay some bills, but he'd forget to pay them. So I think he likes it. It's not, he's not having to deal with that, but I think it's the balance that we've had to try and establish is me getting annoyed with him for spending so much on crap. Yeah. Okay. And that's like, then in his value set to want to continue to do that. So he's like, no, I'm going to continue to enjoy my life. what do you mean? I feel like that's such a common situation and it's always like yin and yang, right? Like one person's really good at money and the other's not so on it. And like, I feel like,

Jess, you said it before, like fiscally responsible is a nice way to say it, but I'm in a similar relationship where I am so money focused. Like I'm a financial advisor. I love a budget. I love sitting down with it. My partner couldn't care less about my budgets. like money diaries I have I've built tools I have like done epic budgets like and I am so excited about them and I do them I'm like this is how we're gonna set goals this is how we're gonna work towards them he's like cool I'm like no but look how exciting it is he's like no so I just I totally resonate with being on a different page with your partner but I think I would struggle if I felt like I was being his mom yeah but at the same time I can totally see that if you've

had a different upbringing and you've had a different money story, how that fits. I don't mean to be too pervy. I'm asking so many relationship questions, but at the start of your relationship, was that a big friction point? And how did you like come to go, do you know what, that's just how he is. He has a different money story to me. I'm going to manage it this way. No, because I think when we first met, we were traveling and we will continue to do some traveling together and go to different places etc so we were kind of just putting in and we were both working sort of casual jobs so it was never really a big deal i think it became sort of more of a obvious maybe about four years in when we were applying for visas and we were having to

save ten thousand dollars fifteen thousand dollars up front that we didn't have um so when i'm trying to save all the money and stressing because we've got a timeline to pay for a visa and he's spending all his money every week then that wasn't a great experience I think that's where it went okay we need to you need to step up on this yeah gosh and so how have you got obviously you said you have an argument maybe once a year about this has that become commonplace or did you used to argue a lot more about money and now it's just like once a year you have a big blow up and you tell him sit down I'm gonna tell you how it is and then he goes all right back in my box let's do it I'll let you I'll let you do it. So, was that more common historically?

It was definitely a lot more common. I think because we're a bit more financially stable now, we're not as stressed, which makes things a bit more relaxed. So, before I started listening to your podcast, we actually took out some of our super. And I don't regret it now because I've actually only let him spend maybe, we saw all our friends blowing the full $10,000. And I think I let him spend maybe, well, he spent about a thousand, but the rest of it is still sitting in our redraw for our mortgage so not the worst thing to happen yeah so at least it's offsetting our mortgage rather than just going down the drain but he was also in the situation of okay yeah no we need to put some aside we can't just go and spend it all so he's also changed his money

um though like he's definitely become a lot more frugal so the car loan that we've got is actually he's for his car but I said to him we're not getting it unless you get a good interest rate So, he actually, I made him go around comparing interest rates and then we found a good one and then he's taking it back to the card dealership, making them price be it. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. And I think that it's so important to delegate as well in a relationship because a relationship, I think a lot of people are like, it's always 50-50 and that's not the case.

Sometimes it is 60-40 or 70-30 in different ways, shapes or forms. like, and I'm sure that there are other places in your relationship that he's pulling the weight and you're just on the money side. But I think it's really important to understand that sometimes you need to take a step back and be like, no, I'm actually not your mom. If you want a new car, go and do the right thing. And then we can make that decision. But I think that sometimes you end up a bit disappointed when you do that, because if they don't really want it, they're not going to do the hard yards and they're not going to pull their finger out and get it done. and that can be even more frustrating because you're like I gave you one job yeah and I think

he I'm like I think five years ago it would look very different I think now that we've sort of got the house and stuff he can see all the sacrifices we make and the outcomes of those whereas I think five years ago he could never see oh why are we saving and he'd never understand why you needed savings whereas now he can see that we can go on holidays or we've got a house or we've got a dog he can see how those can add up. Yeah. And what's the plan for the future? Like, where are we going with this? What are your money goals together in the future looking like? Yes. As I mentioned, the goal for us at the moment is obviously children. So, we will need to have IVF. So, it's, and that's something we're saving towards putting aside, getting ready for that.

And then, yeah, that's probably, hopefully what 2022 will bring. and talk to me a little bit about the IVF process if you wouldn't mind how far down that track are you like you've said we know we'll need it yeah do you know how much it's going to cost like have you started budgeting for that yeah so we were seeing a fertility clinic we've been seeing a fertility doctor for probably about two two to three years and it's never been urgent for us we're not in any rush so it's never been crisis but we tried IUI which is sort of a lower cost version of IBF and a bit more less invasive. So we'd done two rounds of that that wasn't successful. How much did that cost? That was, worked out about $1,200 a round.

Oh my gosh, that's still so expensive. Yeah. And for it not to be successful. So then we were sort of, okay, finally psyched herself up there about mid last year to go, okay, let's, we're going to go for IBF, let's do it. Through the routine tests that we've done, because it's been a few years i've actually found a diagnosis of hydro sulfenix which means i've got blocked tubes so that actually stops uh it being a natural birth so i won't ever be able to have children naturally so a future will be ibf yep so that that stops your like sorry just yeah that's okay just to work it out does that mean that the egg can't come down and then you can't have a baby like you can't conceive naturally right but you could carry a pregnancy yeah so I'm actually on

the waiting list with the hospital for surgery um well I'm waiting for an appointment so then I'll have to have surgery to have my tubes removed wow so that means that we will only wait to have we be able to carry is through IVF so we're looking at between five to eight grand I believe it's going to cost per round so expensive it's such a big investment that women have to undertake or couples have to undertake to go through a process that you know when you're growing up you just assume it's going to be really easy and you know I've got a lot of friends who are going through IVF at the moment and it's not just the finance side of things it's mentally taxing it's physically taxing like I don't think people realize the

impact of IVF because you're on all these hormones and you feel gross and you feel bloated and you feel moody and it's just such an undertaking so I'm always in awe of women who are like no I'm going through this process like power to you like that is so cool and when you do have a baby this baby is going to be so loved and so wanted like how cool that we live in a world where you get that option instead of like sorry it's you just can't fall pregnant yeah so I'm grateful it exists but honestly it should be so much cheaper like oh how disappointing that yeah you know it's going to impact us so significantly financially agreed and it's yeah at least the one thing I'm grateful for is that I found this out before we did the first round because if we'd

gone ahead and done IVF before we found this out we would have been out all that money and there would it wouldn't have been successful and is that something that is pretty common like people or do IVF and not have had the testing and it being a waste of money? I think they've had the testing. In my case, it had progressed over the years. So it was something that wasn't picked up several years ago because it was probably in a, I guess, mild condition then. Yeah, okay.

But then when we've redone the testing, so I guess something I would say to people is get everything checked before you go straight down that route because if you don't do your tube testing, as an example, you could spend all that money and then that'd be the issue the whole time oh my gosh well that is a really really good tip money diarist i think that is actually all we have time for today but thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your story and your journey i'm honestly so grateful for it like oh we are so lucky thank you but before we head off we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to australia's aboriginal and torres strait islander peoples they're the

traditional custodians of the lands the waterways and the skies all across australia we thank you for sharing and for caring for the land on which we are able to learn we pay respects to elders past and present and we share our friendship and our kindness the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or a financial decision and we promise victoria divine is an authorized representative of australia pacific funds management proprietary limited abm 34132463257 asl 339151 and if you enjoyed this episode don't forget to rate review maybe chuck us a follow on instagram join the community

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