She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Come Back Fighting

Episode Date: June 13, 2021

Happy Monday lovely friends! This weeks' money diary is a true tale of tenacity and a rollercoaster of life lived at only 27 years old. A tiny trigger warning for you so that all of our friends feel safe whilst listening: We do discuss financially abusive relationships and chronic illnesses in this ep, so if that might bring anything up for you, we would advise maybe thinking about that before hitting play on this one.If you or someone you know needs any kind of support you can always call our friends at 1800 RESPECT, or the National Debt Helpline at 1800 007 007, or as always, slide into our instagram DM's and we can point you in the right direction. We are always here for you.The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN 34 132 463 257 - AFSL 339151.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My name's Toni Lodge and joining me for another Money Diary episode is Miss Victoria Devine. Hello. Good morning, Miss Toni Lodge. so we've got a really good money diary today um but just before we get into it i just want to give

everybody a little trigger warning that listening to this one might actually bring up some things because we will be talking about chronic illness and also financially abusive relationships so if that's something that might not sit well with you this morning we totally understand and we'll be able to see you on wednesday for our deep dive we just want to make sure that everybody in our community feels safe and really comfortable listening to our episodes so i think that's really important, Toni. With that in mind, I haven't yet heard this story. So, Toni, can you read out this week's money diarist's email for me? Okay, here we go. I moved out slash got kicked out at 14 and never went back. I'm now 27. I had to work multiple jobs at once just to pay rent and

often stole food from work as I couldn't afford it. Forced to leave school to work, then returned as an adult got through on my own and off to university despite a severe learning disability earlands i was also recovering from a few injuries from major incidences including a car accident and being clipped by a freight train less than one year into uni and i land in hospital after a very minor surgery went wrong and had to learn how to walk again and was bedridden for months during that first year of uni and a while after i was in a financially abusive relationship and landed in $20,000 in debt. I never thought I'd be out of debt and now I'm so, so close.

I've worked my butt off, landed in a secure industry and I'm now close to having that debt paid off. I live with fibromyalgia, arthritis, nerve damage in my leg and an autoimmune disease. So, yes, my medical is not great but most days I get up and still work. I rely on no one else to pay my bills or rent or debt off and I'm so proud of how far I've come. thank you to the team for getting me out of my financial dark oh my gosh i know what a story

such a story and we've got our money diarist on the line as always oh you can already hear her hello money diarist hi girls how are you well thank you thank you so much for joining us and sharing your journey with us that is a journey isn't it a story for a 27 year old person that's a lot yeah oh my gosh it just kept getting getting more interesting and then a freight train and then you know everything else I was like what this poor woman has gone through a lot it's it's been a roller coaster oh yeah like it's been a freight train my friend all right let's let's jump straight into the questions because I have a number of other questions that I'd love to learn about um but let's start with the basics what is your attitude towards money um at the moment I'm quite

conservative um my attitudes changed over the years when I was younger it was um you know we lived day by day basically um and you just did what you had to do if you had to work you had to work um and then I got into a an attitude where it was like FOMO live my life it should be great and then I knuckled down and now um yeah I guess my mindset has changed I've broken um generational poverty which I'm really proud of so I'm into a new realm that I've never explored before financially so um it's a bit hard to say what my attitude is because it's really unknown at the moment but that's so cool are you proud of yourself for having gone through all of that and now you're in this epic position and changing your circumstances?

Look, it's hard to say. I say yes, but when people ask me, I actually backpedal and say, well, no, I just put myself down as being a bit stubborn and you do what you have to do. But I had to really think about it for a while and, yeah, I am proud. I just don't like to, I guess, fluff my own pillow. Oh, my gosh, you need to. I will.

I literally love it. I'm genuinely so proud of you and the story that we've just heard and I haven't even heard all of it yet. And I don't even get to ask questions yet. So next question is, what do you do for work and how much do you earn? So I'm a public servant with the government. I was very lucky to land that just before I finished university. And at the moment I'm earning $88,000 a year. Whoa, that is epic. That is so much money, especially having gone through what you've on through and you're not proud of yourself oh my gosh I'm gonna beat it into you all right

next question what is your big money goal so if you asked me this two weeks ago I would have said paying off all of my bad debt however I have just finished paying off my bad debt eight years earlier than i expected yes and 23 years earlier than my minimal repayments um so 23 years earlier yes yep that was my money goal so right now i'm in the process of moving and relocating for a new role um so i actually don't have a money goal at this point um yeah because i just achieved my last one time to plan and with all this free cash flow now you've smashed down that debt you can make the most of it and actually just take your time and be comfortable with it oh my gosh how cool yes it's big yeah that's huge oh my gosh and she says she's not proud of herself

you're gonna get in trouble with me very soon my friend you are my friends my partner all right next question next question do you currently invest uh no so my goal was to get rid of that debt first and foremost, which obviously I've just done. But I, after listening to your podcast, I changed my mindset in that I have super. So yeah, I guess in that realm that I do invest. But other than that, that's my next adventure, I guess. That is very exciting to hear and you're in the right place. Yeah, absolutely. You have found home. We are definitely here to talk about it, but also so many people, when we ask that question, they forget that they are already investors because they have superannuation and it's crazy how many people don't prioritize

that given it is forced savings. It is 9.5% of your income and in July, it's going up to 10% and so many of us could not say that we save 10% on a regular basis or even invest 10% on a regular basis when in reality, that is what we are doing within superannuation. So, it is special and we you need to care about it the next question we actually already know the answer to but i'm going to ask a little bit more pervy questions about it it is do you have any debts so yes technically i do so i still have my hex debt that i'm paying off but it's kind of taking care of itself um two years ago my car completely died but i was in a really good position where i was able to salary sacrifice and that actually worked out way more financially better for me um and so i guess those

two but yeah i smashed out the rest of the other debt what i classed as bad debt and just have those two things remaining that is so exciting can i ask about your bad debt and how much bad debt you found yourself in so it ended up capping at 33 876 dollars um it was a combination of unfortunately my ex-partner took out loans in my name and store credit cards and all sorts of bits of pieces um i was lucky enough to actually bring it down to that thirty three thousand dollars it was more than that um so i uh consolidated it into a personal loan so i wasn't copying 23 percent interest um and then just attacked it horrendously hard that's awful that you ended up in a situation where someone like did that to you took advantage of you in that way yeah that's really awful how

did you find out about all of the store credits and loans in your name um I when we were ending the relationship and I had to relocate for a new job. I was trying to change addresses and get rental properties and I got knocked back for a few rental properties for bad credit rating and I couldn't work out why. So, I kind of did some digging and some investigating and it came up with those things. Wow. So, he didn't even ask your permission. It wasn't something that he said, hey, I need these and you got tricked into it. He literally just forged your name on things. correct um some of which i was recovering from an injury and i was um heavily medicated at the time so i was um in technicality he was my carer um and yeah he did those things so i said i was

incoherent um whether or not i signed them because i was medicated or he forged my signature i honestly don't know um but yeah it was at a very dark period of my life and he took full advantage of that i'm so sorry to hear that i'm really sorry to hear that but that's exactly why we need to understand what's on our credit score and what our credit history actually looks like because you didn't even know that they were there until you were forced to check because some other negative things happened so I think that this is a really good reminder to just do a credit check and make sure that you know what's on your credit history and I guess that opens a wider conversation about how do we get people to take responsibility for things like that and track it down and you

know I'm sure you've been through this and thought about the pros and cons and more often than not because the documentation would have quote had your signature on it it's just too hard to fight and you often just go you know what I'm just going to move on I'm going to pay the debt and it breaks my heart because that's put you back financially but in your personal situation I'm just so glad to hear you have a good income and you've got the ability to save and now you're out of that debt because it's just so unfair that those things happen and you know there are a lot of places that can help and I guess this is a good place to plug our friends at the National debt helpline and we'll put them in the show notes just because they are angels and they help you

through so much stuff they absolutely know where to go when things like this are happening because you feel lost and overwhelmed and like nobody understands so for me if you're in that situation hit those guys up and if you don't feel comfortable to do that please slide into my dms and i will help you find the right way let's ask the next question because we have absolutely sidelined this again which is my favorite thing to do um what is your best money habit my best money habit um i am religious that when my paycheck comes in each fortnight that i pay my bills straight up and i put um say 50 or so into straight to the power bill even though i don't have it i always pay my bills and my rent straight up and then allocate money to groceries or to pet bills or whatever

it might be and stick to that. Great habit. Such a good habit. Bad habit. I love that habit. I love it. It makes life easier. It definitely does. 100% in contrast, what is your worst money habit so I was thinking about this and I'm just going to preface it that it's not the same but it's going to sound the same as some of the other money diarists is food however when I say that I am a stickler for if I purchase something I think can I get one or two meals out of that is that the best cost but it is bad in the sense that only just the other day I went for breakfast with my partner at a lovely cafe and I couldn't finish the meal and I wanted to take it home for a second serve.

And the lady said, no, we can't take it home because it's got eggs in it and we're not allowed to for hygiene. And I was like, okay. And then when we left, I burst into tears because I was like, oh, my gosh, I've just wasted another serving. And my partner had to reassure me that I don't need to be in that mindset anymore, that I can afford another meal. um but that's still something like a bad habit i have that i'm like okay how much is this going

to cost can i is that enough food to feed me um and yeah it's something i'm trying to change oh my gosh that is not a worst habit at all no i think it's that's not bad from what you've been through in your life that's that's just trauma that's just from you living literally meal to you can't be hard on yourself for that that's just you went through something that like I mean unfortunately lots of people go through but that most people wouldn't understand especially now that you're in a different part of your life where you know you've got a great job and a secure job and I could bet that not a lot of people that you're working with now have ever been through that or had to think in that way so I just don't want you to be so hard on yourself because oh my

gosh, that is not a worst money habit. As much as it's probably come from a traumatic past, we could definitely all learn a little bit from that. I always over-order at cafes and that is, you know, me showing my privilege, but it just isn't necessary. Like we definitely could all take a leaf out of your book and only order what we need and have a really good think about the things that we are purchasing because that could lead to really good money habits for all of us. all right next and last question before we get to have a really deep conversation what grade would you give yourself if i forced you to give yourself a money grade a couple of weeks ago i think i would say a b plus right now i couldn't give myself a grade

because like i said i'm starting a new chapter so i'm not sure what my money habits are going to be from here on out oh my gosh I that is so that annoys me because you and my eyes you're a straight a I mean you're not investing yet properly you're doing super so maybe not a plus but like you've gotten out of debt you've gone through so much and you're still in this position where you have this epic income that you have worked your butt off to deserve oh nah you're in a like what mean you don't get one oh who is she I just figured for you know my new chapter of of my money life I guess I just don't know what it will be so yeah but you're starting with an amazing clean slate yes exactly how exciting getting out of debt and then getting a brand new job

all in the one period of time I'm so excited and I'm gonna ask you so many questions about it right after this quick break. I have so many questions for you. I feel like your story is so impressive and before this recording, Tony was like, oh my gosh, Victoria, you're going to love hearing this one. There is so much to it. How did this eventuate? You got kicked out at 14. You are facing some serious adversity when it comes to, you mentioned before you have a number of syndromes and I think you said Erlen's, is that the one where you have light sensitivity? So it's a visual processing disorder. So basically my eyes don't speak to my brain at the right speed. So for me personally, I have light sensitivity, I'm dyslexic, I have depth perception issues, it causes migraines,

um very painful eyes um I don't pick up things quick so for example you might read a book and smash it out in a day it takes me two weeks to read it because I've got to read the line over and over and over again um every person's different uh you most likely see people that have blue lenses or pink lenses like um Elton John um but for me mine are really dark because my light sensitivity is quite intense. But yeah, it caused learning difficulties because for me, the pages were blank. There was no writing on them. There was no lines on them. I couldn't see it. And unfortunately, I didn't get my diagnosis until I was an adult. So I was going to ask how old were you when you found out you had this because that would be seriously debilitating

growing up right so i was grade 10 when they thought i was dyslexic um and got a little bit of assistance then but it wasn't until i was actually 22 um and got my formal diagnosis and got my first set of erlin's lenses and oh my gosh i remember saying to the lady oh that's what the looks like okay yeah and yeah it changed my life so special yeah it I can't even explain the feeling to be able to see things at a certain depth or a certain color or read a page and not get a headache or sit down and read a book and actually enjoy it um yeah it literally changed my life that is so cool and so upsetting that you didn't get that diagnosis earlier how did you come about finding that like if people are listening to this and you know they've been really struggling

was there a certain test or was there something that you know triggered it or was it just you going there has to be something else going on here um kind of just saying there has to be something else and I did have um dyslexia glasses so they had a light color tint and I went back to the optometrist and they said no no no we don't do that testing anymore um have you considered going to an Erland specialist and I was like what on earth is that and he told me and he showed me some examples of videos of where writing spins on the page or it fuzzes or it disappears off the page and he sent me through to this Erland specialist who then did testing and you have to do like a reading test and a writing test and it can also be auditory so all those sorts of

things and then she started putting uh colored overlays on the page and layering things up and yeah found out that way it took about i think the session was about four hours um in total wow yeah and they um provide you with like water and breaks and all sorts of bits and pieces because they know it can fatigue you quite horrendously um and then you've got to send the glasses away to get made and that kind of thing. So there are Erland specialists around, but it is normally diagnosed when you're a child and through school, that kind of thing. But when I was growing up, it basically didn't exist. So there was no way to test for it because yeah, it just didn't exist. Oh my gosh. Well, I'm glad that you've been diagnosed now.

And at that point when you were diagnosed, were you at uni at this point? yep so i was part way through um and almost into my second degree by that point that must have totally changed your experience after having gone through all that time while you're at uni and you were physically unable to really do what other people could do and at the same speeds and stuff i mean high school and school is one thing but uni is so intense um that's crazy did you feel a total difference between the way that you learn and the way that you felt about being at uni from the first half of your studies to after being diagnosed yeah so I um I was studying full-time I was working full-time and I was running an organization that looked after the student

welfare which had full-time hours but volunteer based um and I ran on very little sleep and just coffee all the time and afterwards I actually cut down my coffee intake and I was able to sleep more and um you know I knew that I could say be cheeky and write an essay the night before instead of thinking I've got to start the day it's issued um and take the full six seven eight nine weeks to do it um it meant that I was able to do my trimesters and get my degree done a little bit quicker than I wanted to um and then I actually went on and did a second degree and I've gone on to do further studies since then which I never thought I'd do because it at the time would physically hurt and be too tiring for me so it really changed everything I could do I'm beyond in war like

you are so smart like to have gone through all of that and still be able to do it like people struggle with uni and they don't have any learning difficulties or learning disabilities and something that I'm really grateful for because I did study psychology is the knowledge that a learning difficulty or a disability doesn't actually mean a lack of intelligence and so often people immediately think ah learning difficulty they must just not be as smart and that is not the case and you are absolutely proving that having gone through such adversity it must have been so challenging especially to the level that you experience it to still have degrees to still have gone and done further education and let's just point out that you

earn $88,000 a year like that is impressive like seriously impressive that's a lot of money it's a lot oh my gosh even you're saying it's a lot you're like it's too much take it away I remember you deserve every single cent of that was like yeah I remember thinking $55,000 was a lot and I would I was happy to have that and then when I landed this job and they told me the wage and that it goes up every X amount of years. I was like, excuse me, you want to pay me what? And it's permanent full-time. I sign on the dotted line.

Yes, thank you. I'm so proud of it. I love that for you and you absolutely deserve it. Can you tell us a little bit more about your finance history? Like we've obviously had a really good chat about disability, but let's have a chat about, you know, going through financial abuse and what that felt like and coming out the other side, like you you come across as a really happy really fun person that I want to be friends with but I'm

sure that's not how you've always felt so can you explain I guess finding out about that what you did about that and how that really impacted you um it sucks I can't put it any other way it sucked I had gone through some hell throughout my life previously and I was like oh you know got over that and I can deal with that and then this was kind of the final blow when I thought I was starting to get my life together with my career and my uni and finding out who I was as a person after some injuries and whatnot and it was the final blow I did get into a very very dark place mentally I'm not going to lie about that I'm very open about that and I sought out some psychology interventions and I put it I put all the

finance in the back burner. I called all the companies. I was like, I need you to, um, suspend payments and look, I'll pay it. Like you said earlier, sometimes it was easier to just to cop it on the chin and, you know, technically my name was on it. So technically it was mine, but after a little while I did reach out to the, um, the debt hotline and had a really long chat with them and a few phone calls with them. Yeah, they were fantastic. They gave me so much guidance and how I could consolidate it and certain ones that I could stop and certain ones like if I wanted to go to court over it or you know what the ramifications would be and I just had to really sit down and think and be like okay the plan is to pay x amount every fortnight and that

will leave me with this much for groceries and bills all right we can do this but yeah for a while there it was I just accepted that I would forever be in debt that was going to just be a bill for me and that was you know as common as paying rent but yeah it knocked me it really did knock me um and as I started to chip it down and see the end every time I get a little bit closer to payment something unexpected would come up like my dog landed in major surgery so I got set back again and it got a bit frustrating and I remember thinking I was so angry at this person for doing this to me um but in a way I was actually kind of grateful um it made me to be quite tenacious um and quite money set that I needed to actually focus on money it wasn't just

coming and going I had to put my head down and work out a budget that worked for me um so I could run him over don't get me wrong but I'm kind of grateful for the skills I could too my friend I You could too. I'll be in the passenger seat. Don't you worry. Toot toot. Yeah, no, I totally get that. And I think that that's something that a lot of people say, well, why didn't you take him to court? Why didn't you follow it up? And I think that so many people who have actually been through this, they've got enough emotional stress hanging over them. They are going through so much trauma at that point in time that

they just go, you know what? I can't put myself through that. So you absolutely can't judge where somebody is at or the decisions they make until you've experienced something similar and I think that that's a really important lesson and a really important story to come out of this that one there is support like our friends at the National Debt Hotline which I love them and I think it's so funny because you know you go to their website and their website's not that attractive if we're honest like it looks a bit dry and you're like oh I just want someone who's empathetic and kind but they are like they are the kindest people and you get connected with a free financial counselor who will explain to you all your options and really hold your hand through

that process i promise you it's not nearly as dry as their website looks because they are genuinely so caring and so helpful so i'm glad that you had them as a resource and free of judgment as well free of charge like their services are free as well like you don't have to pay them which is so cool and so kind and yeah I adore them I'm obsessed with them they were fantastic yeah I send a lot of people that reach out to me who are in a bit of a pickle to them I'm like look these guys I know it's a hotline and it doesn't sound as good but you'll be connected with a free financial counselor usually in your area and it's just genuinely so special so having gone through what you've gone through now you're in a much better position you've got a partner now are you

living with your partner what's the situation there no sir um I it's coming up one year with him which is exciting um we have been doing technically a long distance relationship um and I'm actually about to move in the coming days to be about 10 minutes around the corner from him um oh that's where you're moving kind of yeah so we had the chat that um should we move in together and you know financially it'd be great and um we sat down very early on in our relationship actually and and discussed finances and I was very open about it because I'd recently listened to your episode about STDs I was like hey this is my situation um but I said I'd like to kind of just be in the area and find my feet first and then maybe in six twelve months we can

for moving in together but I'm so proud of you for having that honest chat because it is so easy to get caught up in the excitement of moving in with a new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever and being like you know what it doesn't matter we'll just move in together it'll be great we can wake up every morning and have a coffee together when it's actually so much harder to go hang on let's be smart about this let's protect ourselves have the conversation so especially I guess after what you'd been through you're like I'm not going to put myself in a vulnerable position again and we could talk to you for hours and hours but um I guess I just want to know is there anything else that you'd like to share for anybody that's listening that might find themselves in a

situation that's similar to what you've been through um I think just be confident in yourself um and give yourself time if i've said to people in the past like it was hell um and i laugh it off now and everyone goes oh you should be proud of yourself and it's hard um be ready for a hard road but be assuring yourself that you can get through it there are people out there there is the services out there um just give yourself time be gentle with yourself um and you know if it takes you one year five years 20 years you will get through that it just yeah be kind to yourself i love that that is such a perfect place to leave this thank you so much for joining us no thank you it's been amazing to chat that's an epic journey and we are so proud of you but

unfortunately that is all we have time for today so just before we head off we'd like to acknowledge and pay respects to australia's aboriginal and torres strait islander peoples they're the traditional custodians of the lands the waterways and the skies all across australia we thank you for sharing and for caring for the land on which we are able to learn we pay our respects to elders past and present and we share our friendship and our kindness the advice shared on she's on the money is generally nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision we promise victoria divine is an authorized representative of australia pacific

funds management proprietary limited abn 34132463257 afsl 339151 and if anything in today's episode brought anything up and you need to talk to someone, you can always contact our friends at 1-800-RESPECT and I'll pop their website in the show notes below. And if you want to speak to a financial counsellor, you can contact our friends at the National Debt Helpline on 1-800-007-007. Don't forget that is literally a free hotline that is open Monday to Friday. So if you need them, please reach out because they are some of the most genuinely kind people I have ever come across. and with that we will see you next week guys for another money diary with alfred and tony lodge bye