She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Divorced With No Finance Skills

Episode Date: April 18, 2021

This weeks money diarist found herself in a situation so many women across the world do, filing for divorce without a clue on how to run any of her personal finances. Since then, she's changed her life and her approach to finances.On this Money Diaries episode is speaks with Victoria Devine and Ryan Jon.PLUS, because you’re a SOTM listener, use the code POD50 and you’ll score $50 off the course. Head to our website here: https://www.shesonthemoney.courses/masterclass to find out more today!Love the pod but looking for a more hands-on approach to your money? Look no further. Our budgeting & cash flow masterclass is the tool you need to help overhaul your finances for good. Join Victoria as she steps you through your budgeting and cash flow with all of the smarts and none of the intimidating jargon.Finally, if you're in a money mess and need help untangling the muddle - we've got you sorted - simply record your question and send it through to us at [e-mail] and you may just end up on the podcast!The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN 34 132 463 257 - AFSL 339151.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today is a money diary episode and I think this is quite an interesting one. V, do you want to read that email? I do. So this is from someone who's called themselves divorced with no financial skills.

And she says, I've just recently divorced after seven years of marriage and 14 years in the relationship. I'm a personal assistant in a law firm with no university qualifications. I had never managed finances on my own in my adult life. And the prospect of doing this alone was incredibly daunting. I had to move out of the property we shared and into a share house for a couple of months to get some money together. Then I moved into a rental property a couple of months after that.

I had to take on debt from our car loan and I also had to buy everything for my new apartment on my credit card. 18 months down the track, we sold a property that we owned and split it 50-50. It wasn't loads of money, but I did pay off my car loan, my credit card and I was able to start an emergency fund. I'm currently in the process of talking to a financial advisor about investing some of the remaining money because I don't want to buy a property at this point. it's been scary learning how to manage and budget on my own never did i think i'd be able to afford to rent a beautiful apartment completely on my own have some savings and be thinking about investing some money as i was under the impression that i was rubbish with money this whole time what do you think of that story v i think it's so common i genuinely think that there are going

to be people listening to this that are like ah change the years in the relationship and that is my story yeah unbelievable now uh hello money diarist thanks for joining us today no problem hello v is it fair to say that already we're like quite proud of someone who's just you know absolutely what a legend you've gone from not knowing at all to being in a situation where you're talking to a financial advisor about investing what i know i know who is she are you proud of this journey that you've been on yeah yeah immensely proud it's been um it's been scary like it's it's been scary and obviously it's been um like traumatic probably the the that's probably a good word yeah yeah probably actually is um especially like you know

no family over here and all the rest of it but it's um yeah i'm very very proud of where i am at the moment it's been a tough couple of years but I've done it oh my gosh I love that and I can't wait to have a chat with you but in very traditional she's on the money money diary sense let's jump straight into the questions and I'll save all my pervier questions for the end is that all right yeah no worries perfection so let's start off with what is your current attitude towards money and how has it changed I'm much more I'm much more careful with it a few years back back when you know still married I was very sort of I like I said in the email I was always under the impression that I wasn't very good with it and I don't think that was actually the case

I guess I just didn't have the opportunity to have some independence with it um I'm careful with it um but I'm also not scared of it anymore either I was I money was always a massive worry and I'm not so scared of it. I love that you said you're not scared of it anymore because that's so common regardless of whether you're in debt or not in debt or you know in a situation where you have a good income or not there are a lot of people who are genuinely worried about money. Yes yeah yeah definitely. It's not good and it's what we're working towards but I'm so glad that you are out of it. All right so what do you do for work and how much do you currently earn? okay so i'm a pa in a law firm and i'm currently on 75 exclusive a super hey that's pretty good

that's not bad hold on that's not bad for someone who said that you had no uni qualifications yeah killing yeah yeah no i'm pretty pleased with it you know it gets it definitely like it pays the bills is it too pervy to ask how old you are i'm 34 oh that's good yeah that is very good we have a money diarist in a few weeks who i think their name is going to be the only one in the boardroom without a university degree or who's finished high school oh my god that's amazing killing it absolutely killing it yes because i know as often sorry to sidetrack us there's often a lot of chat of oh i don't have a degree so it's going to limit my options but i mean not always not always it's about tenacity isn't it yeah yeah exactly exactly sometimes get

out there and get the experience back and you know that's always the better sometimes the better way definitely all right so how do you feel about investing and do you currently invest okay so I'm currently I've got the spaceship and the um raise apps and that's basically just through listening to you guys um so I was just sort of dabbling just to see how I felt um you know get essentially just get your confidence up with it see how it works I mean I still don't I don't massively, you know, I don't have a massive understanding of it, but I find it quite interesting watching it go up and down. And as I said in the email,

I'm currently talking to a financial advisor about investing the rest of the money. I feel pretty, like, it's a bit daunting. It's a bit scary to not be keeping it in savings, but also it's exciting. It's exciting to be thinking about doing something like that. so 100 i'm really excited for you yeah yeah no i'm like i said it's a bit it's a bit daunting i mean because you know i think most people you know you just don't ever think that you would have a i don't know a share portfolio it just sounds really odd to say that but it's it's awesome yeah it is awesome and there'll be more people because of the she's on the money podcast investing

and i'm genuinely so proud of that like it makes me so grateful that people like you should be Yeah, you should be because, honestly, if it wasn't for the podcast, there's no way I would have thought about investing. Oh, my gosh, yes. Yeah, I would have just kept it the same. Back to questions, back to questions. What debt do you currently have? Zero.

Zero debt. Well done. Completely debt free after all of that. Yes, yeah, yeah. I was in a fair bit of debt, so yeah. A queen. I love it. Just a quick one.

what was the moment like when you you said yeah you um you know you split the property proceeds 50 50 and that moment where you just went bang loan gone credit card gone how'd it feel relief complete relief like not that panic about living um because i mean and most people do and you know it's still a learning process but not living paycheck to paycheck desperately trying to scrabble together money to pay off you know a loan a credit card well two credit cards actually and then you know pay bills make sure you're also living so relief complete and utter relief so good did you celebrate in any way yes yeah yeah yeah went out for a meal with friends and my current partner so yeah i love that i love that everybody's celebrating with you too yeah

there should be more of that all right next question is what is your best money habit i guess my best money money habit would be budgeting i'm pretty good now i wasn't before but it's budgeting. I've got like a little spreadsheet that I have like a couple of months ahead. You know, I do a couple of months ahead. I have the bills that I'm expecting to come out and, you know, the usual expenses and just making sure that I try and follow that as best I can. Do you have the She's On The Money cash flow and budgeting masterclass?

No, I don't, and I should, shouldn't I? Well, Victoria and I will send you one for free, okay, after this. Oh, okay, cool. Thank you. You're welcome. It's really great. It'll set yourself up. And it sounds like the spreadsheets are doing a pretty good job,

but I think you'll be as nerdy as we are. You'll be thrilled to see how easy it is when it's all set up. Yeah, yeah. Every little help's awesome. Thank you so much. Wait till you see the spreadsheet I've created. I think you'll be very proud of me. Spreadsheet goals.

All right, moving on. In comparison to that, what is your worst money habit? Buying things that I don't need. I'm an impulse buyer. No. Gets the best of us. It gets the best of us. Yeah, you know, sort of like, oh, well, I'll treat myself.

I deserve it. You know, you've been really good this month or, oh, I don't know, you've had a bit of a crap day or something like that. So, yeah, that's my worst, definitely. That's fair enough. I think very relatable too. What kind of things? I know for me it's food.

Are you buying new cars or is it just like snacks and things? Oh, yeah. No, it would be usually I'm a fan of Kukai, so just sort of rolling past there and having a little look at the jewellery or anything in Kukai and I'm a nightmare for it so avoid

Alright, away from Kukai When you said Kukai what's the name of a stationery store? Kiki K When you said Kukai I imagined Kiki K and I was like okay, everyone's got their thing Okay, but I'm obsessed with Kiki K

I was saying to go back multiple times a week I just picked up a new notepad There is a Kiki K store in, is it Emporium here in Melbourne? Yes, yes, yes. And he's right beside the food court. And I always go back with like new stationery I don't need. It's so bad. It's their diaries.

Yes. I love a paper diary. Yes, and everything's so aesthetic. And you're like, I'm going to get my life together. And then you don't. You just don't. All right. Away from Cook Eye and Kiki K, what is your big money goal at the moment?

is to invest i definitely definitely want to invest and for in 15 so years just see where we're at with that i want to be i want um what's the word financially oh not i just i just want to be in the best place possible in 15 20 years financially so that i can i'm not i'm not continuously worrying about money i don't want to be in debt she wants to be financially free i was gonna say financial freedom she wants exactly that that's the word i was looking for yeah i want financial freedom that's what i want i love it i love it and i think a lot of people think that financial freedom is having you know heaps and heaps of money and you never have to work another day in your life and that is definitely one of the outcomes but also two in 15 20 years

just feel so financially secure that you know you know i'll just keep working but everything's going to be all right and if you know something hit the fan it'll be all right because i've got yeah it's exactly that just to be comfortable to know that if something went wrong i've got enough money to see me to see me buy um i you know i i'm under no illusions i know i'm not going to be able to stop working that's not um that's all right yeah but that's and that's fine that's absolutely fine but just financial freedom just to not have to worry yeah i like that well Well, for me, when I hear financial freedom, I think free of stress, free of worry, free of not being able to sleep.

Yeah, and that's kind of what it means to me as well. A lot of people think it's like that stage at retirement where you have 100% investment portfolio that provides you a full income. I get that, but I just want to be able to sleep well at night and know that if I woke up tomorrow and for some reason I had no income coming in, I'd be all right to find another job. Yeah, exactly. You wouldn't need to rely on your credit card to get you through.

absolutely all right to wrap the questions what grade would you give your money habits if i forced you to give yourself a grade i was thinking about this earlier i'd probably go i'd go b minus a b minus yeah it's a bit harsh yeah why a b minus it's a bit harsh on yourself given what you've gone through yeah i know i know but there's always room for improvement isn't it There is, but maybe like A-minus. Maybe a B then. I'll go a B+. There we go.

I'll go a B+. I'm glad we bullied her into that, right? Yeah, great. I'm glad we did that too. So knowing what you know now, how would you grade yourself three years ago financially? Oh, far. I thought you were going to swear there.

An E. An E. B or E, yeah. An E, check that out. if i was a parent and you brought home an e-report card and then like three years later you were a b plus i'd be pretty happy with it yep that is yeah yeah i'm yeah i'm pretty i'm pretty chuffed it's been a massive learning curve but it's been awesome i love that all right well i've got so many questions for you and we'll get right to them in a hot minute

all right we're talking to divorced with no finance skills although i feel like that's a that's a lie that is a blatant lie i feel like it should have said i was once married with no finance skills that's the update and now i'm divorced and killing it yeah exactly i love this i have a question right so everybody enters a marriage with the intention of forever right Like, did you ever financially structure yourself or think about it when going into your first marriage that maybe it wouldn't be a long-lasting relationship? Not at all. No, not at all. We were young when we got together.

You know, we did the usual. You save a little bit, you spend it. You save a little bit, spend it. But no, there was no way that we were thinking that far ahead at all. when did you realize that you had a big sort of shortcomings in what you'd been taught like was there one specific moment where you went oh my god i actually don't know the money stuff uh someone else did that was there a specific moment where that all kind of hit you and you realized it yeah when um right at the end when i was moving out um yeah that was the scariest part you're just

there in this space and you're just like i i only have myself now to pay for everything and i don't know if i can do this is the honest answer and is that that feels terrifying and really overwhelming yeah it was massively like it's the scariest scariest feeling and like i said like my family are obviously overseas so and i've got good friends obviously but um yeah that's that feeling where you just stood there and you're just like holy crap like this is this is me I'm on my own yeah and what did you do to start getting on the road to understanding finances a little bit better what was your first step I just started googling and just doing a bit of research and trying to just just putting money aside not lots I couldn't put lots away but just just trying to put some

money aside and then I just think honestly like then I came across your like this podcast and I just started listening to it in just thinking okay so because I think most people would be under the impression that you you save and you buy a house and I thought that was the only option and being single as well um that almost wasn't an option so I was just assuming that I would just have to save and put money into into a savings account and leave it there and you can afford to buy when you can afford to buy but I think yeah just just doing a little bit of research on the internet listening to your podcast honestly and I bought you know a couple of the usual books the box standard books um everyone buy investor yeah yeah that's that's the route that everybody

goes on yeah yeah and like it was interesting it's good you know I don't want to bag anything i'm not sure if i'm like oh you can say whatever you want we're free we're free for all here my book's out on the 16th of june if anybody now that you've you know you've done some research you've read books you listen to podcasts it kind of seemed like you decided that you weren't good with money and it's not that you weren't good with money it's just that no one had ever really taught you so now that you have sort of taught yourself is there such thing as i'm not that type of person that's good with money or is it more just i haven't learned it yet no i think it's it's learning i just have i i you know

it's it's one of those things you're not and obviously you're not taught it in school um your parents do the best that they can do but you know they're not really you know they tell you to save and that's that um but actually like budgeting um and all the rest of it like you yeah i think i think everyone can do it i really do it's just it takes time and it takes it takes effort right like you can't just do it in two minutes and you've got your budget for the rest of the month like you actually do have to and sometimes you have to be strict with yourself i mean this might be a really weird uh thing to add in but i've read lots of books on like creativity and stuff like that and i find it the same so many people go oh no no i'm not a creative type and i say well no

like it's it's like going to the gym you just start exercising you start practicing and you get stronger and better at it and i think finance skills are the same so when when i hear people go oh i'm just i'm not good with money well maybe yeah you're not now but that doesn't mean you have to be forever well yeah exactly you literally you know you can change that in an instant you you can't i mean the biggest thing that i did was sit down write what was coming in and what was going out and then i you know and that was a big eye-opener um you know you start realizing that you're probably spending and i was at a certain point i was spending more than i was actually bringing in which is why you know you you credit cards it's hard to get wealthy when that's the

situation v how many people you've got rich that you know who are spend more than they make absolutely none i'm sorry burst that bubble i think it's actually just talking about that for a second it's a bit about mindset as well because so many people will say stuff like oh I'm not good at instead of replacing that with well what am I missing here and just getting all the education that they need because we are smart people and I've said this to Ryan so many times we're smart people we just haven't been given those tools yet we have to search them out ourselves and when we have them I think it's interesting to know how easy it can be and how not overwhelming it is and is that something that you just wish you knew what you know today when you were in that moment

of moving out and you know going through that knowing hey even if someone had said hey it's actually not as hard as you think it's going to be without a shadow of doubt like I said I always thought I was rubbish with money I was kind of told that I was rubbish with money so you start believing that that's the case I almost wish that I could go you know the me now could go back to than me two years ago and just say do you know what honestly everything will be okay you you are completely capable you absolutely have got this please don't be scared there are a lot of people listening to this podcast that needed to hear exactly what you just said it's not as hard you've got your own back you'll be okay and I think yeah not enough times do you hear that when

you're in a really dark place or going through a situation that feels overwhelming you just think that everything is going to be as hard as that moment is in that time yeah yeah and it's absolutely and don't get me wrong it is hard it is but like if if you if i could say anything to anyone out there who's going through the same thing it it sounds like such a cliche but it does it does get better it will 100 you just just be proactive be patient be kind to yourself and you know don't don't berate yourself don't punish yourself you will get there i want you to follow me around yeah I was going to say, I have one final question, but it's more of a question for you, V.

Our money diarist said they've started with Rays and Spaceship. Yeah. Doesn't fully understand it, but is interested in seeing it go up and down. I would always say the best way to learn something is to put a couple of spare dollars in there and the best place to start is watching it going up and down and trying to get a vibe.

Do you have to wait to be an expert to invest? No. Or do you become an expert by doing the thing? You become an expert by doing the thing. And you know what? I was thinking about this the other day. Do you know how many people I talk to about their jobs every week? And they'll say, oh my gosh, I went to uni. I learned all of this stuff. But you know what? In the first year of me working my actual job, that's when I learned everything I needed. 100%. And so, so many people will go to university and they'll learn every single theory they need to know and I would akin that to investing. You can go learn absolutely everything when it comes to theory and what the market looks like and how shares and dividends are paid out and what all of that looks like and you still feel overwhelmed because you haven't done your grad job yet. I see Raise and Spaceship as kind of that grad job, getting in there, actually seeing what the job is like and seeing how it works and, you know, actually getting those hands-on skills to then graduate at some point to your big girl job.

And that might be your bigger investment portfolio, but I think they're such powerful tools and they are absolutely an investment in your financial literacy. Yeah. So, and I just think that the fact that you've said, I don't fully understand it, but this is where I'm going to start. Like, what a great place to start. Exactly. You and your grad job of investing. yeah just it's just yeah it's it's good it's interesting just it's way to build your confidence with it i think yeah absolutely i have loved this chat with you thank you so so much for joining us

we're so super proud of you like i know that's weird to say that to someone who's not met in person but we're sitting here like nodding our head going yeah she's got it we love her yeah we love you so much guys well go and enjoy your lunch with your friends and thank you for having a really nice chat with us this afternoon no problem no problem bye cheers and that is all we have time for today on money diaries but just before we head off we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to australia's aboriginal and torres strait islander peoples the traditional custodians of the lands the waterways and the skies all across australia we thank you for sharing and for caring on the land which we are able to learn we pay our respects to elders past and present and

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