She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Finally On the Right Meds & the Right Track

Episode Date: February 5, 2023

This week's Money Diarist has endured financial abuse, losing her partner to suicide, and years of trying to manage her bipolar disorder without the right treatment. But she finally found the right meds and it has literally turned her life around! She is now able to work and study, get her financial life on track all while raising her two girls! She is incredibly special and we can't wait for you to meet her. Themes of suicide and mental health struggles are discussed today. If these are difficult for you please tune into another episode. And if you or anyone you know are struggling, you can get support right now here... Lifeline online or phone 131114Beyond Blue Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kurni, Wolperi and Awadjuri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjuri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money.

She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries, where we get to talk to one of our incredible She's On The Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it. But before we do a little content warning, this episode is going to discuss suicide, abuse and mental health. The message that we got this week went a little bit like this. Hi, she's on the money. I'm 31 with two kids and I have just started my career while studying. I lost my partner in late 2021 to depression and almost lost my life too. My

relationship with money has been all over the place due to my bipolar, but I'm finally on the right medication and can now work and study. I have savings and a pre-approval to buy a house and I'd love to share my story with the community. Money Diarist, I would love for you to share the story with the community. Thank you. Yeah, that's okay. I don't know where to begin. No, you don't even have to know where to begin.

I'm just grateful that you're here. I have the questions. You just need to bring the answers. So let's start where I always start in 2023, and that's Money Diarist. from the get-go I want to know what grade would you give your money habits if I asked you to give yourself a grade from A through to F? Yeah at this point I would say a C just a flat C. A flat C all right all right we'll come back to that but before we come back to that I want to know a little bit about your money story are you happy to share? Yeah definitely well I mean growing up I

had a probably anxiety-driven relationship to money. My mum was ultra frugal and it was op shops and food banks when we needed it. And my dad was very frivolous. He would be in and out of work all the time. So we would sometimes be eating like kings and then other times we would be going to school with stale bread sandwiches. It was all over the place. And so when I got money, I just clung to it. And mum would say that she'd take us to the shops and she'd ask us if we wanted anything. And I'd say, no, I just want to hold on to my money. And then as I got older, I moved out of home at 16. And I was on medication at the time I'd been diagnosed with bipolar 15. So I was on medication and I was able to move interstate, work and study at the same time and just be

financially independent, which was really nice. I still kind of really held onto my money and I didn't really, I couldn't make savings because I wasn't earning much. Yeah, I just held onto it. and then I moved back to my hometown and met my partner who I would end up having two kids with. We hit it off straight away, but he had some problematic behaviours and part of it was telling me I didn't have bipolar. So I went off my medication and that's when everything went crazy. so we were together for nine years and through that nine years I was up and down all the time

I would save money hold on to a job and then I'd spend it all quit the job it was just a mess and we were breaking up and getting back together all the time because of like my money history I didn't like to take money from him I always wanted to be independent because the way he gave money, it was always with strings attached. And I couldn't handle that because it was pretty much the financial abuse. No, it was. It wasn't pretty much. It was, from my understanding of the way you just explained that. It's hard to hear sometimes, but straight down the line that when money is given with some kind of strings attached to it and you don't feel comfortable in that situation, regardless of

whether that's five dollars or five hundred dollars that is a level of financial abuse and it's it's heartbreaking because it's still that that's the person you loved right like there's two sides to that coin it's not oh they're the worst person ever it's oh I love that person but I'm going through this it can't be that bad right yeah exactly so I justified it all the time and as a result I stayed on Centrelink and didn't take a dime from him and so I couldn't get ahead I was on Centrelink and with bipolar you go up and down obviously and eventually he had depression as well which he didn't do anything about and after some situations we got into he ended up going to the mental ward for a bit and coming back out but he was earning really

good money. He was a rope access technician. So he was on high rise buildings and dealing like super high rise buildings all the time. Oh, I could never. That is literally the most scary job you could think of to think that you're doing that job and also have your brain about you. I couldn't do it. What do you mean? I have to do that and work at the same time. Wow. No wonder he was on good bank because he deserved it. Yeah, a hundred percent. So yeah, he was battling depression and even though he was earning good money, I don't know where it went. It never really came towards me and the kids. Toward the end, I did get him to start paying child support. Like we were together, but not together all the time.

It's a really complicated relationship. And I think that's what comes with an abusive relationship. it's not the fluid it's kind of like all over the place and so I ended up cracking in 2021 all the pressure got too much for me I had a really bad episode and I ended up in the mental ward in the public system. And I had no money. I had spent it all on God knows what. And I was at a really, really, really low point. And I was told if I don't go to the mental ward that they'll put me in. So I chose to go by myself. And I stayed there for a month. And I have two little girls they're seven and four they stayed with my mom so my mom was very supportive during that time and their dad looked after him as well quite intensely and that was probably the longest

he'd spent with them consistently in quite a while because we lived apart and then when I got out that's when we had an argument and he decided to take his life and that was really hard sorry you know that has nothing to do with you that's not your fault right you know that yeah definitely yeah definitely yeah that is not your decision yeah no it's been definitely a roller coaster and I think I ended up going back into the mental ward because that was quite horrific and I wasn't set up for success no so that was again really hard on both me and the girls and our relationship. And at this point, I think I couldn't go back to my rental

that I was renting out, that I was in a rental, and I couldn't go back. So my dad emptied out the rental and I moved back in with my parents. Yeah, I'm so glad to hear you had your parents during this process. Yeah, they've been amazing. Oh, what wholesome human beings. Yeah, no, definitely. I don't know what I'd do without them. They've been a huge cushion to my success in this past

year and a half. But after I got out, I moved back in with my parents. And in the mental ward, it was really good because I finally got on medication that was suitable. Yeah, good. And it was the first time I'd been stable in quite a while. And I didn't know what stability felt like. So two months on after everything had happened, I decided I wanted to get a job because my anxiety about money just skyrocketed, freaking out that the girls would have nothing in their future and it was all on me, you know, and that freaked me out massively. So I decided to go back to go to work full time. I hadn't worked. I think I had like $3,000 in my super at the time.

and i was like you know you gotta start somewhere i didn't have a degree i didn't have experience but i just picked up a i think it was a contract position uh paying like 45 or 50 000 a year and then worked in that for a while then got offered a permanent position and then moved from that position to another position and now I've just taken up a new job and it's paying much better and my soup is growing and everything's going well so that's kind of where I am today. I'm so proud of you to go through that situation and then you got back on the horse you got a job you have stood up in a way that your kids needed you to. I cannot begin to think about how proud your girls are going to be when they're at

an age that they can comprehend what you went through. Like, oh my gosh, they're going to be like, our mum is a bloody legend. I really hope so. Oh, no, no, no. They will. They absolutely will. So I want to know, so you said before you've got a better position. What does that mean? What do you do for work now? How much money are you earning? Yeah. So I work in HR and I am earning, well, I think my total remuneration is 98,000. Oh my gosh. And you went through this circumstance at the end of 2021, which from my very basic maths means it's been just over a year. Is that about right? And you've turned your life around completely. You're on the right medication. You look, from my perspective, like a glowy, happy human.

And I mean, there's probably a lot going on there, but you just look like that is not a circumstance that you had to experience. Yeah, I mean, it's not a circumstance I still kind of fathom that I experienced. No, of course not. You said in your letter into us that, you know, you're in this circumstance where you've got pre-approval to buy a house. Like what? You have savings.

I want to know, what are your big money goals? What are you working towards? Yeah, so I did get a pre-approval. I got it on the 2% home loan scheme for single parents. Yeah. And I kind of got it because I got kicked out of my rental and I was like, that's it. I've had enough of renting. So I decided I'd just throw my hat in and see what happens if I try to go for a pre-approval.

So I talked to a mortgage broker and I got approved and I was really shocked. And then I was like, wait, hold on. I don't think I can actually service a loan yet. But you'll get there. And I think that's so exciting. Yeah. I want to buy a house, but I want to be able to actually afford it in the long term. Even though I got my pre-approval, like I said, I want to be able to afford an actual

mortgage plus all the extras and crunching the numbers. I don't know if that's doable and still having a life outside of that. Yeah. And do you know what? That's one of the most intelligent things you can do in the home buying process because I think people get so caught up in saving their deposit or like really, you know, being frugal to the point of missing out on everything just to get to that point where they buy the home and they really don't conceptualize what life is going to look like when you have a mortgage. when it's your responsibility that the hot water system breaks you have to pay for it when it's your responsibility to pay all of the rates and all the bills and everything that comes with that and I just think that where you're coming from and that mindset of like oh I just want to you know I've got this pre-approval which a lot of people would just run straight into and be like all right well give me the loan give me the house like pre-approved 10 out of 10 tick let's go

I think that you've got this really great mindset of like oh actually can we get to a point of a little bit more financial stability, that is going to serve you so well long term. And it makes me so happy to hear that. Money Diarist, the next question I have for you, you mentioned before I only had $3,000 in super. That's still three grand in super and that is still better than nothing, my friend. But I want to know, do you have any investments? I've got $1,700 on Sharesies and my super's come up to $7,600. Oh, that's growing quickly. Yeah, it's getting there. That's really exciting. So tell me a little bit more about your investing journey. You said, I have $1,700 on Sharesies, which that's a big

deal. A lot of people don't even take that step. How did you take that step? Like, why are you investing? What are you investing for? I mean, I've been listening to She's on the money for quite a while and so when you guys were promoting Shazzy's I was like I'm gonna check that out and I looked at it it was really easy to understand so I kind of just took the leap and I was like I'll just chuck you know a little bit of money here and there and see it grow it's dropped down a bit but I plan on keeping it like long term I don't really check it much but I want to be like a really long-term investor. I'm not too worried about risk because I believe it always will end up going up eventually. Over the long term, I think is the best way

to be investing. To flip that, do you have any debts? Yes, I do. I have my HECS debt, which is sitting at $26,000 and that's because I'm currently studying and I've also did a beauty therapy diploma, which didn't work out well. That's okay. We live and we learn. We live and we learn. What are you currently studying? Like, what's the big career goal? Because from my perspective, you're on a pretty good innings right now. Yeah. So I'm adding to that. I'm studying HR, a degree in HR now. I want to improve in my career and I really want to grow. And it took me like 30 years to figure out I actually like HR. How good. No, I love that. I feel like HR is an underrated career. Honestly,

you get to work with people, you get to have an impact. Like it is something that I probably could see myself in a thousand percent. Yeah, no, it's awesome. Money Diarist, let's go to a really quick break. After the break though, I want to talk to you about your best and your worst money habits, but I also want to delve a little bit deeper into finding the right medication and how that works and the impact of that on your quality of life. So guys, don't go anywhere. money diarist I'm meant to go back to the questions but I don't want to go back to the questions just yet because I really want to talk about the right medication and I have spoken

before on this podcast about how I'm medicated for anxiety and depression and that it's something that I know I will always be medicated for it's not something where the second I know I'm better I'm going to go off it money diarist you've experienced I guess both sides of that coin you said you had been diagnosed with bipolar in your teenage years. You were medicated, maybe not the right medication. You then went off medication and now you're on the right one. Can you talk us through, I guess, that journey and how it impacts your quality of life? Because I feel like you're a different person if I had met you two years ago. Yeah, no, definitely. When I was young, they tried me on a medication that was an antidepressant

because they thought I just had depression. And that sent me into a manic episode, which is what it does if you have bipolar. And so they quickly took me off that and put me on a different medication. And that one made me feel numb, but it was better than feeling too much. So I don't think it was quite the right medication. It was lithium, which has a lot of side effects. and it's something I have to be on lifelong. I didn't really want to stay on it forever, but it was my best option at the time and I was quite young. So I stayed on that.

You have to get lots of tests when you have it as well, when you're on lithium. So it wasn't ideal, but I stayed on it for a couple of years. And then I came off it. That was obviously a disaster. I think I vaguely remember trying another medication. I'd been seeing psychologists and psychiatrists throughout the years. But part of bipolar is, you know, being inconsistent and erratic.

And so I never really stuck with a therapist long enough to make a difference. And then, yeah, finding the right medication was life changing. But it was trial and error. I went on the medication and I got a body rash like I got full head to toe rash and so they had to quickly take me off that but it was this medication I really wanted so we tried the non-generic brand of it and it turned out that was fine so even though I have to pay a bit extra it's worth it and then they added an anti-psychotic which is probably the most life-changing one because it just alongside a mood stabilizer it just took away all the anger and the edge

of like irritability and things that make parenting really difficult. I can imagine oh my gosh so talk to me about the financial impact of that because this sounds like an expensive process with lots of different therapists and different medication changes and now not being able to be on the generic brand what is this costing you thankfully it doesn't cost me too much i spend about 40 dollars on medication a month i think that's not too bad i haven't actually calculated it no it's not too bad and i have at this new job they pay for private health insurance oh my gosh money win yeah massive money win massive money win that is so good yeah so i can get that covered so i'm not really out of pocket for it anymore

but therapists are really expensive yes i always had a mental health care plan so that covers a big portion of the cost but you're always left with a gap fee depending on the therapist you see and then there's long wait times and when you're having an episode you already can't organize yourself to even like see a therapist let alone sit through the waiting time and think oh you know I actually need this so and then by the time it comes around you don't have the money so yeah I don't know I somehow scraped by and managed to afford therapists but with the mental health care plan I couldn't afford it after the plan run out which is yeah when you have an ongoing mental health issue it runs out and then you just are on your own again

if you can't afford it. Yeah. Wow. Oh my gosh. I feel like you're a really different person to the person you probably were two years ago. I want to know what does the future look like? You've gone through an insanely traumatic event and you have two kids. You've got a four and a seven year old. What does the future look like? Where are we going? How does that work? Yeah. I want to be able to keep affording my lifestyle. So I've got the girls in gymnastics and swimming and I don't want to give those things up because I want them to have everything they need and more so I've got to figure out how to balance you know long-term goals like buying a house with short-term goals like making you know the kids lifestyles as good as I can

so I'm hoping to keep increasing my income finishing my degree and just keep pushing. I love this. I love it so much. I want to know, what do you think is your best money habit? My best money habit, thanks to the beauty diploma, is doing all my own beauty stuff at home. So that saves me a lot. 10 out of 10. I mean, you can probably drop some tips for us in the She's On The Money Facebook group because I need to do more stuff at home, but we can talk about that later. What do you think is your biggest money win when it comes to doing stuff at home? Probably nails and lash lifts.

lash lifts at home. My sister's also a beauty therapist. So we kind of do treatments on each other. Oh, absolute money win. I'm actually quite envious. Let me know when that's happening. I will pop over. On the flip side of that, I want to know, what do you think is your worst money habit? It's grocery shopping without looking at the prices. Because as a kid, my mum used to look at every single price and have to calculate the total. And so now I'm pretty frivolous with my grocery shopping and spend way too much on groceries. I feel like that's a luxury you deserve to have though, my friend. Yeah, I hope so. That's not the worst money habit I've ever heard of. Most definitely. Like I feel like there are definitely worse and it sounds like you are

absolutely killing it. We don't have a lot of time left together, but at the start of this episode, I asked you to give yourself a money grade and you said, look, I think I'm a flat C. And then you've gone on to tell me, I'm earning a really good income. I've increased my income a whole heap of times since getting my job. I'm investing. I've got this big money goal of buying a house. And you know what? I actually am thinking about this. I want to make sure that I'm not just buying a house. I can actually service the loan and still have my lifestyle. You don't have any personal debt. You have really good money habits. Like, do you still think you're a C, my friend? I mean, I have really high expectations.

That's fair. Yeah. Comparison is also the devil. And I think without comparing myself objectively, I think I'm doing really well considering everything. I think I'd like to give myself a B plus if I was being less judgmental on myself. I think that's a good place to be. And I think it's a good thing to recognize as well, because I'm going to guarantee you, Manu Dyrus, there are a whole heap of people listening to this going, absolutely not. She's an A. She's killing it. She's a queen. But if you need to lift a little bit more of that judgment from yourself, I think that's a really good thing

to work on as well. But oh my gosh, what a story. I feel like you have been through the absolute wars and I'm just so proud of where you're at now. Like your girls are going to be so proud of you and everything that you've achieved. And I mean, they probably can't comprehend any of those things right now, but when they're older, I promise they are going to tell everybody about how great their mum is. I just know it. So thank you so, so much for joining us. It has been a pleasure hearing your money story. Thank you so much for having me. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and

should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorized representatives of MoneySherpa, PTY, LTD, ABN, 321-649-27708, AFSL 451-289. Thank you for watching!