She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: From IVF Debt to Getting Ahead!

Episode Date: November 13, 2022

This week's Money Diarist and her husband spent 100K on IVF, and despite that managed to purchase a house and trim down their debt. Now they have 3 beautiful kids AND an emergency fund. We can't wait for you to meet this gorgeous member of our community!This year our Money Diaries are being brought to you by the legends at Shopback! Check them out at https://app.shopback.com/aus/partner/SOTM and you'll get a cashback bonus when you sign up!Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another Shop Back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat to a community member to learn all about them and their finances and all of the fun bits and pieces in between. Victoria, I have a story today that I think is going to tug on the heartstrings a little bit. Do you want to hear it? Of course I do. Let's go. Our diarist says, my husband and I spent $100,000 on IVF and despite that have managed to purchase a house and trim down our debt and we now have three beautiful kids and an emergency fund. Growing up, my parents never spoke about money so I thought everyone struggled. My husband's

money story is very different. We have monthly meetings where we talk about the nitty-gritty of our finances. It is not a date night but an actual meeting and this communication is super important. Oh my gosh, yes. I am somewhat new to the podcast, finding it when I was looking to get ahead of my debt due to IVF and have spent three months binging the show. It shook me how inspiring the pod is and it has changed my life. Oh my gosh, what a queen. How lovely. I'm not gonna lie, money diarist, I did enjoy that. It is not a date night, subtle dig. Like, okay, I see you. It is 100% not a date night. We have date nights, but there's no spreadsheets on date nights. No, I get that. Oh my gosh, I cannot wait to hear more about your money diary. Are you ready to

just kick it off? Sure am. All right, let's go. First question, as always, I want to know more about your money story. Please elaborate. So when we were growing up, it was never spoken about. It was never argued about. It just, it never came up. And it was the oddest thing when I met my husband then who, or even other people in that, you know, mid twenties sort of realm when people sort of started being quite open about money. I was like, oh, is this, is this something we're allowed to talk about not because it wasn't hidden or anything like that it was just sort of not spoken and I remember just a couple of years ago I was talking to my mom and she said oh you know your sister she's just like your dad was with money I was like what was that that means nothing that is

not a good reference point and so I suppose maybe we were shielded a little bit from it but as we got older we were sort of told oh you know mom looked after the money because you know dad wasn't bad with money. He just had no concept of like budgeting or tracking money. So I didn't know that until I was in my thirties. My husband, however, is very different money story. They're very open with money. They talk about it all the time. They talk about budget and finance as though you'd talk about probably anything else. So when I met him and we started talking about it openly I did to be fair I did sort of lean in initially there was a lot of oh well we don't really talk about that but I remember this this one pivotal moment we wanted to go on a date

we'd just started dating maybe six months prior and I was like oh I don't really have that in my budget and he's like oh well that's okay we can do something at home and for me that was like this pivotal moment of, oh yeah, we can talk very openly about this and resolve issues. We don't need to go into debt trying to achieve something we might not have like allocated for, if that makes sense. Yeah. Interesting. I feel like it's so pervy when we get to ask, like, tell us about your money story. And it just like dives into, well, my sister and then my mom and then this, and my dad wasn't good at money. And you're just like, all of this stuff is so juicy, but it's interesting because you said, I didn't learn about it until I was in my 30s.

Why is that? You just didn't ask money questions at the dinner table or like, how does this happen? No. So I have no idea. When you look back, it seems so dumb, like something definitely should have picked up on, but hindsight's 20-20. But it's very much so, I mean, I didn't even have, okay, don't judge. I mean, you probably won't. I didn't have a credit card until I met my husband and we joined a bank together like it was never spoken about but we weren't taught anything like bad we just saved spent budget that sort of ongoing system we just never openly discussed investments or you know there was always talk about like savings you know oh you should save you know 10 or half of your paycheck you know when you work at kmart when you're 14 yeah of course

but other than that it just didn't come up and I mean in all honesty not that I'm trying to like suck up or anything but when I heard your podcast I started listening my little sister is significantly younger than me I sent it to her and I bought her the book and I was like you have to pay attention to everything here because you've got about 10 years head start to the rest of us Oh, my gosh. That's so special, though. Yeah. So for me, I would tell everybody, oh, you've got to listen to this.

You've got to read this. You've got to understand it. You know, not everybody would agree with everything. Of course, it's life. Lower your expectations. But it's really important to sort of have access to the information, I suppose. And it never would have occurred to me to source this out. I literally, honestly, I found you guys on a recommended article on BuzzFeed.

Oh, that's sick. We've made it to BuzzFeed. I want a quiz. Which She's on the Money host are you? Oh, my gosh, yes. Do we get our own BuzzFeed quiz now? That would be great. Who are you?

Which She's on the Money host are you? I think I'm a hybrid. Oh, all right. I like that. I like that. Because I like to be organized, but I also manifest everything in my life. Huge. So what do you mean you like to be organized?

You low-key don't know anything about me. I am the most disorganized human in the entire world. Clearly, you are 100% a Jessica Ricci. here is a gold medal I love it though because talking about this stuff you're right you just don't know what you don't know and it's not through you know lack of your parents trying they quite clearly tried to teach you to save and budget and all of that's really important but they just didn't have that financial literacy and I guess that's why I'm so insanely passionate about sharing it because I'm like you don't know because no one taught you we didn't learn this at school

you learned algebra and trigonometry and talked about geography but we never talked about what it means to invest in an ETF. And arguably, I could have changed your life with that. But, you know, as much as it's important to know where China is on a map, that's not actually going to have a positive impact on your life in this immediate future. Like there's nothing better than financial literacy for setting people up for a successful future. And it just, it makes me so mad that it's not included. And your story is an absolute testament to your parents doing the best that they possibly could at the same time as just not knowing what they don't know?

Like, how would you know? And why would you ask? Like, if you don't know, it would be like, you know, trying to remember somebody you had never met. If you don't know, why on earth would you ask? Which is why I'm that weird sister now harping on about, hey, guys, this is really important. Like, I really think you should get on it.

And every time I speak to people at work, they're like, oh, because I interact with a lot of different shifts, especially when I work nights. And I was like, hey, man, are you contributing more to super? Because now's your peak time to do so. love that. Here's the sheet that HR give you on how to do it. So I could be that weird friend. No, no, no, it's not weird. It's empowering and it's inspiring. And I adore it. That fun friend.

No, honestly, you are the fun friend. Like I would 10 out of 10 have you at my party. And like, that's the power of the community, right? It's not just about, you know, us having a podcast. It's now you filtering that down to other people to have an impact that's far greater than just the pod. And it makes me so happy, but we're going so far off track. So let's get back on track with questions. Marnie, Dyrist, I want to know, what do you do for work? How much money do you earn? So I work for a not-for-profit in the capital city that basically looks after the families of sick kids. So I really only deal with families in their worst or most difficult moments. I earn so it fluctuates a little bit because I do do a little bit of shift work and I work nights

but for that I think it averages out so about 52 plus super per year that I make and yeah so I work part-time to be fair so I make 52 at part-time I work three or four nights per week. Wow I feel like I want to say that's such a special job but I mean it in a that is such an impactful job to have exposure to people in arguably their most vulnerable states and be, I guess, allowed to support them through that. But it also is so special that you're willing to put yourself in a position where your emotions and your mental health would arguably be challenged on a daily basis. Like that can't be easy. It's not like going to work, sitting down at your desk, five o'clock, let's go home. It's like you would carry a lot of weight with that role.

And that's what I mean by special. I mean, you are special, not the job is. I mean, they're both special because, I mean, being able to assist people and not have them go through it by themselves, that in itself is a lot. And there's a lot of my job that's mostly sort of the man behind the curtain. Yeah. So there's a fair bit of, okay, people have arrived from, you know, a really, really rural place with nothing, you know, toothbrushes, nappies.

What do they need? food, not like stuff they can actually eat, not food to make food, actual food. So everything, you know, when you get somewhere and it's like getting to a hotel in a city you don't know with nothing else, like nothing. And if I can help in a, like I said, that man behind the curtain sort of way, I can get you this, I can get you this, I can get you this. What do you need? nobody stays with us for fun they're there because they have to be so what can we do to relieve a little bit of that pressure so they can focus on what they need to yeah and you know that's a really i think important sort of element but by contrast i see you know a little bit of

tragedy every so often we see a lot of sad things we see some dv we have a great interaction with our police and fire and ambulance officers for a variety of reasons you know staff members hurt themselves and all the time and like break a foot and so you have to call an ambulance and it's just a relief that it's not for a guest so there's this huge spectrum of what we see but i i am pretty open and honest about the importance of mental health i have a psychologist i do the leg work we try to avoid compassion fatigue which is a really big concern but you know we do a lot of the work to do so we've got a great program at work as well I don't use them I have a psychologist I like I've been seeing her since IVF so I'm quite attached understandably so yeah and not

interested in explaining the whole thing again to a new person so when you take on roles of that nature and what you see, you have to either be a little bit detached or be able to separate everything. Yeah, that sounds really tough. I want to ask you more about that after the break. I'm going to continue on so that we don't get too far off track. But I want to know, what is your big money goal currently? What are you currently working towards? It sounds like you've achieved a lot thus far honestly I feel like we have and when we sort of you know got invited to do a money diary I was extremely excited we had just had one of our meetings not dates and you know so over the next 10 years we would like to work as a family towards sort of

a green home I suppose not like a completely solar powered grow your own vegetable sort of home but We have solar. We'd like to do more in the electric vehicle space. And those are expensive at the moment. So over time, over the next 10 years, that's what we would like to be able to achieve. We do have a house. We may or may not look at moving in some stage in the next 20 years, but our children are small. So we're settled for the moment on that. So we've done the big things that we wanted to do. Good, good. Love to hear it though, because I like that you're like, actually, we have achieved a lot. Because sometimes you talk to people who just don't see their achievements as achievements or enough. They just go, oh my

God, yeah, like I'm really working towards this and don't reflect on, I guess, how far they've come. Next question, I want to know, do you currently have any investments? If so, what are day? So we have little investment. So we use Sharesies and I did use Raise, but the fees I think were just becoming less and less appealing. So we use Sharesies and we use Spaceship for micro-investing. We're twins. See, we told you, you are Jessica Rickey through and through. And at the moment we're saving to, so our plan at the moment, because we've only sort of turned this ship around in the last six to 12 months is to do some proper investing once we hit a two grand mark. We'd like to investigate a little bit further, but for the moment,

we're happy with the micro investing until we save some more. Yeah. Love. How good is that? All right. I want to know next, do you currently have any debts? If so, what are they? Yes. So I have a HECS debt along with most of the population. We do have a bill credit card that we use. So our bills every month are a little over five grand and our credit card is a little over five grand. That's the balance. Matchy matchy. The actual physical card gets brought out twice a month, once on payday to fill up the cards and then two weeks later to fill up the cards. and that's it it's not used for shopping or spending or groceries or anything like that

it's specific to the bills that we have it gets paid off in full every month and that's sort of the only reason that we have it I think initially when we got the card it was simply because a couple of the insurances that I have that aren't through super have to go on a credit card really Yeah, so that was 10 years ago. Okay, I was like, since when? I know, I know. So initially we had that set up so that we could use it in that way. So we're looking at transitioning probably over the next five years

to not using that. But at the moment we shop with Woolworths. We do the bank for Christmas. We use the credit card. It's paid off in full every month. It's never gone over. It literally doesn't have the allowance for it because it's on a budget like everything else. And at the end of the year, we convert those into grocery vouchers and we

don't pay for groceries in the month of December. See, that's a really smart way of using a credit card. If you have proven, obviously you have, to be really responsible with it and you're reaping the benefits, why would you try and get rid of it? Like, why would you try and rework that wheel? I get lots of people in shoes on the money are like, credit cards are the devil's plastic. I get it. because also I feel that way mainly because of how detrimental it can be for our community to use them. But girlfriend, if you're using them efficiently and you're in a better financial position because of it, why are we stopping? Well, we whittled that down. So when we first got together, like I said, I didn't have a credit card and my husband's had like

15 grand was the limit. And over time we've whittled that down to the point where in the last, after we had our last baby I was like these are our bills every month we can have a $200 on top of that for incidentals or a doctor's appointment or anything like that that's it that's what the limit on it is it's what our bills are so we can't go over it even if we wanted to it's not like it's $10,000 and we're spending five grand over our budget every month it's not an option yeah we can't get it if we don't pay some of it off that's how all of credit works it's interesting to learn more about how other people use debt to their advantage though because as I've said before Jess we recently recorded an episode on credit cards and how they aren't

necessarily the worst thing in the world but we actually need to make sure that we're using them efficiently I don't advocate anyone who doesn't have one to get one if they just want to try it out but like if you're already using it I just don't see why we would rework the wheel if that wheels working for you. I mean, no grocery fees all of December. Are you kidding? All of December, unless we host Christmas. Oh, yeah. In which case that is epic. Like that's crazy. That's its own problem. But yeah, so between the credit card points, we usually end up with, you know, about $600 because we have a lot of bills. We usually end up with about $600. Our

bank for Christmas is usually two or three. That's so good. I'm so impressed. And they're good groceries too. So sometimes we get the fancy ice cream. Oh, girlfriend, I'm asking you more about that after the break. So let's come back to that. I want to know next, you clearly are a good shopper when it comes to getting a bargain. Do you use ShopBack? Oh, I have it, but I do use it on occasion. I just don't do enough online shopping. That's not a thing. I still use it at every chance. What do you mean? I don't do enough online shopping. Did you just say in a very weird roundabout way, Victoria, I'm better at controlling my online shopping than you are?

because that's what it felt like. Well, I have an addictive personality. I know full well I could not control my online shopping, which is why we have the limit on the credit card. Yeah, fair. Know your limits. Yes, exactly. I'm, you know, 33. I'm hyper aware of what my limits are. I don't pay attention to them all the time, but I do know what they are. Love. Love. All right. Next question, my love. What is your best money habit? So I actually, I sat down and I asked my husband about this because I said, what do you think our best money habit is as a collective? Because we do work very much so as a team. And he said that he thinks we've got two, which I agree with. To be fair, I think one's better than the other. We communicate extremely honestly about money

and finance. So communication is our top priority across the board as far as money habits go. so he's definitely come home before and said oh I've got a UFC definitely going to that it's going to cost this I've come home and been like maybe I spent an extra $15 on a scar at chemist warehouse it happens but nothing's hidden there's no secrets that's something we're extremely open about but I believe that our best more my best money habit is I don't pay full price for anything we love to hear it how how we thrift everything so if we can't buy it or fix it or make it, then we find it. So we work very hard. So last year we did nothing new until 2022. So except for underwear and shoes, we did nothing new. So

even the things for the children, I mean, again, underwear, shoes, very different, you know, shoes mold to the feet of the wearer so please don't buy vintage shoes it's gross then it worked so well we continued that on this year so we don't buy new anything we try to find it we try to manifest it on facebook marketplace love yay you know we just did a um agenda reveal for a friend that's pregnant and everything we did a you open the wardrobe and then it's full of i've seen this It's on TikTok. Yeah, so we did one of those. Everything was thrifted.

Oh, my gosh. It was all usable. So good. Environmentally friendly. I mean, we still use disposable nappies. We're not savages. We're not savages. Let's be realistic about the time effort that we'd put into that

that gets taken from something else. Different horses for different courses. It's what's working for you. And I think that it's cool that you have clarity on what you do and don't want. Yes. So I think that level of trying to find stuff is probably our best money habit. And I do, on my birthday, you do not want to be a person around me on my

birthday, free boost, free coffee club, free everything. I go, I hit every mark. I love that. I feel like that's genius. She's a money-saving queen, Jessica. Let's learn where she's maybe not a money-saving queen though. Money Diarist, what is your worst money habit? it? If we are lazy or tired, that's it. So I don't have really the option of finding something Uber Eats wise at work at three in the morning if we don't like something. But if I get home on a day that I'm not working and I was like, oh, I've put this on the menu plan. So this is what we're having for dinner. And if the rest of the family's like, yeah, we're so excited. I'm

like, oh, forget it. GYG, takeaway, whatever. So if we're lazy or tired, then we just get a little bit complacent. I feel like that's relatable though. I sometimes go home and I'm like, oh, I know I've planned this meal, but I really, I just want to sit on the couch and be a zombie and have a man bring a pizza box to my front door. I totally get it. Because healthy me did the menu plan, but tired me is in the situation now. Oh, I'm so inspired when I sit down on a Sunday and be like, all right, Stephen, what are we cooking this week? We're really healthy. Past me, very healthy. Current me, not always making the best decisions. So I totally get it. All right. Last question before we go to

a quick break. I want to know what grade would you give your money habits if we asked you to give yourself a grade? I've been thinking about this one a lot. So I think overall, I would say a C because I think there's always, you know, there's a lot we want to do and always room for improvement. But if you look at us at the beginning of the year and us now, 10 months later, I would say a B plus. So in the short term little pocket, I would say we've come a long way, but overall, I think C, even C plus, why not? Treat yourself. Treat yourself. But also I feel like you've come a long way and you're on the trajectory to being an A relatively quickly given the habits you've established I just think it's amazing to watch it and I cannot wait for a check-in. That's you guys

just for the record. No stop. I mean oh no no I know that we did the work but the information has come from somewhere. Yeah I appreciate that. On that let's go to a quick break because I want to know more about where you got your information straight after this break. All right. Welcome back, everybody. Money Diarist, I want to talk to you a little bit more about your IVF journey, because I think that that's something that is a little bit shrouded in secrecy. It's something that often can come with difficult feelings or difficult memories for people, so it can be harder to talk about. But it's obviously something that worked really well for you guys. You have three beautiful kids now, which is very exciting. $100,000 is an incomprehensible amount of money. That's insane. That's a lot of money. And I know that a lot of people who do go through the process, something that I hear time and again is that it is really costly in addition to the emotional drains and all

of those other impacts that it can have on your life. Can you talk me through a little bit around how long you did it for and, you know, where that $100,000 kind of went? Sure. So in fairness, we knew straight off the bat we would need IVF. my husband had leukemia when he was 21. He's fine now. But obviously before they started treatment, my mother-in-law is a nurse. Thank God for mother-in-laws. They're the best. We get it.

Not everyone's a win. I've got a good one. I do too. Don't worry. I feel like I've hit the jackpot. Oh, same. It's amazing. Everyone needs one. And so basically he froze some sperm before he started treatment. That's so good. No, but the foresight to have that at 21 is definitely not what a 21-year-old man is thinking about. I mean, I've never been one. I've never been a 21-year-old male, but having known a few in my lifetime, that's not what they're thinking about. 100%. So we knew straight off that we would need IVF. So shortly after we got married, when we were ready to look into that, we went straight

into it and this was probably I'd say about a year before a lot of bulk billing IVF places came up. How annoying. I know but we did you know we had our initial and all these doctor's appointments they cost money like bank so you know we had our initial consult with an IVF fertility specialist which cost you know nearly $700. Wow. And it exploded from there so every time we did a cycle, it cost approximately $20,000. $20,000 a cycle. That's like double what most people are telling us. I mean, you obviously did it before the bulk billing came in. It's just so much money to comprehend. It's a huge volume of money. So don't get me wrong. We have great private health insurance. We were better off going through Medicare. Yeah. And to

be fair you reach your threshold faster so once you hit it you do get more back so do it at the beginning of the year if you're going to do it just as a friendly heads up and we did the first one to be fair i had a bit of a rough time with all the drugs so the initial drugs that you get you have to get them from a specific pharmacy where we were not our pharmacy where we've you know been going for the last 10 years so far out went to this pharmacy where it was you know i think We spent about $1,000 on our first lot of injections and medications and I did that for two weeks and then we did the egg retrieval and the hospital ran late and then there was no eggs to retrieve.

There were only two left. I had 20 follicles but they ran late and they told me afterwards and I was honestly, hormones or not. That's not your fault. That's insane. That's awful. That's right. There was no compensation or anything there at all?

I made them pay for the second one. Yeah, good. I had a meeting with the hospital administrator. I said, I can't spend $20,000 because you can't tell time. That's actually not my fault. No. This one's on you. Absolutely not.

That's a costly mistake for somebody to make. It is. And to be fair, so after my second egg collection where we got 20 follicles. Yeah, okay. Which was great. Thank you for running on time. Because everyone ran on time. The head of the hospital was outside the recovery room waiting to check in with me.

Oh, good. Oh, good. afterwards, which to be fair, she should have been. Yeah. Because that was, that is a costly mistake. So we didn't pay for the second one, but we did end up doing two additional ones. So having said that we got our 20 embryos and then, and it's a numbers game. So, you know, 12 of those matured and then four of those got all the way through the process. And then my husband and I both carriers for cystic fibrosis. Wow. So we did genetic testing on our embryos in addition to the PDG testing. Wow. But what a position for us to be in, in this day and age to go,

all right, we're carriers, let's test this. Like that is very cool. Yeah. So initially we tested all 12 before we knew that only four got through, but it costs two grand for each embryo to do the test. Oh my Lord. And that's only, you know, say I was 26 when we harvested our eggs and got our embryos. So even other than the fact that my husband likes to tell people I got knocked up by a 21 year old, cause that's how old he was. It's like, you have to stop saying that people know how old we are. Why? Why? I like it. And so even then we knew that as we moved through the process it would come forward in leaps and bounds so you know we spent all this money we did all these tests putting our embryo back in so we initially we didn't do a medicated cycle we

tracked my cycle and that one resulted in a miscarriage but from that we learned that I had a short like luteal phase so my fertility window was like three days not five but we wouldn't have known that otherwise so then we started to do medicated cycles which were a little bit more expensive because you have to, you know, take a lot of drugs and a lot of hormones and a lot of progesterone. So, and that all obviously costs a lot of money. You do a lot of doctor's appointments to follow up and check how everything's progressing. And then putting the embryo back in is $5,200. Oh, good Lord. Wow. You're like, this came out of my body. You're just giving me back what's mine why is it this belongs to me anyway is it really necessary so that was always very

difficult after the first one happened and it worked and I did fertility acupuncture as well that was my own accord that was you know every week in the 12 weeks lead up was 130 odd dollars day before day of day after there's 350 dollars right there it adds up and it adds up fast wow And after the first one worked and we were like, cool, all of a sudden, you know, bulk billing IVF came out, I'm very superstitious. I was like, oh, I'm not wasting an embryo based on maybe I will go back to the same doctor. I would do the same thing, to be honest, yeah. For the same cost and spend the same money all over again.

And I mean superstitious in a weird way. Our embryo transfers happen on a Friday. we see a violent movie afterwards because that's what happened to me on after the first one you're like this worked last time i think it was jurassic park and i get a cold diet coke in a quiet room there's no one talking to me touching me or asking me for anything i'm that level of superstitious it worked the first time i'm repeating it again within my scope what i can control i feel like that's important though because that's you feeling comfortable with that process and like i mean that's going to mean different things to different

people but I kind of love that you know you well enough you're like this is what we're doing this is the only control I had over it this is what we're doing yeah wow and I do have a supportive partner he was like yep yep I'll be there you tell I'm on it so what a legend he is amazing or he understands when I say I know it's stupid but it's important to me because his response that is if it's stupid but it works it's not stupid yeah exactly he's very wise it's very hard to argue with wise people. I want to know how all of this impacted your work, right? So you spoke about the cost, but I think the cost when it comes to being in our childbearing years that we don't talk about enough is the time off work. And we know that taking time off work

to raise kids is one thing, but then taking time off work to even try for kids is another. Like, how did that impact your, I guess, work-life balance and your income and how all of that works because I feel like with IVF, that's a lot of downtime and you didn't just do it once. You did it multiple times for multiple rounds. Yes. So I went to part-time when we started IVF. It was an available option to me. I was very lucky to work at the time I worked somewhere else and I was very lucky to work somewhere where they are very family-based and they don't just say we're family-based. They show that they're family-based. They let me work from home when I could. They're very understanding. They gave me time for the appointments. They let me swap my

days over for embryo transfers so that I could have the weekend to relax. That was just dumb luck being able to coordinate that with my work at the time. And you do. So we took a hit for me to work part-time. I'm very lucky my husband works in the IT industry. So we have that sort of buffer But as we need, to be fair, we do spend a fair bit on medical things at the pharmacy, you know, his sort of treatments that will be ongoing until further notice sort of thing. So we spend a lot of money at our pharmacy. I think $500 or $600 a month at our pharmacy.

We've got a – is it a tab? An account? An ongoing account. It's like going to the bar. Yeah, so that works out really well. Yeah, I was going to say tab I think is a bar. Same to same to him. I think you started tab at the bar, yeah.

Well, we have done that too. Yeah, look, maybe that's just what came to you because it's familiar. I get it, I get it. We're still fun. Yeah, I told you I'd have you at my party. It is absolutely fine. I think it makes sense. So I worked part-time while we did all that and that was enough to take the pressure off

for what we were doing. So I didn't need additional time off to do the processes. I worked somewhere where we were able to slot it in within those working three days. yeah that's epic and and that was very beneficial for us when our children were born the place I work does not offer maternity leave yeah wow so I went back to work at four months with the first two children yeah and I was in a different job when I had my third baby and they offered maternity leave so I took the I think it was like seven weeks at half pay so an additional 14 weeks just to take the edge off.

So that was very beneficial for us. To be fair, my first born was born 12 hours after I finished work on the Friday. Oh, my gosh. Well, at least you're getting it done. I respect that. Oh, I was supposed to be at my baby shower. So we haven't let that one go, apparently, according to my family. Families are the best for stuff like that, aren't they?

They are. His birthday is baby shower day because I was too busy birthing him to attend my baby shower. Yeah, well, good. I mean, at least you got a healthy, happy baby. I have one more question before we wrap because I feel like I have been talking to you for ages and I could continue to do so. But I want to know, obviously, you're now part time with your work and you've got a beautiful, supportive husband. I want to know how you're prioritizing your future financial security, though during a period of time where you're not earning as much as you probably could be because you're part-time and looking after kids and doing all of that like how are we still making that a

priority so there are a couple of ways that we do this and we do work very much so as a team we can only take on one big project at a time as a family so we understand that so I work part-time but the reason I work nights is so that I can work that extra fourth day. Yeah. If I work, I have to put the kids into daycare that day. Yeah. It's $150 per child per day. That's so much money. It's so much money. It costs money. We chose a job where I could work nights and get that extra day because it leads on from or into a weekend where he's at home with the kids. So that's something we do. That's really smart planning for me guys. Yeah. You're a genius. Yeah. So I work Sunday night to Wednesday nights. He has the kids all day Sunday so that I can sleep, so that I can work

that night. Yeah. Wow. And then that would not have been an option on the other, you know, I wouldn't be able to work four days and pay for four days of daycare. That would basically make my salary redundant. Yeah, of course it would. We salary sacrifice from my job to the mortgage. We salary sacrifice to my super. So does he. to my super not his own so that we are all working hard to make sure no one is left out of pocket I suppose for doing what we're trying to do we have touched on a number of times I'm working towards my MBA I am so part-time work part-time study to try and sort of better myself and three kids under five. Are you kidding me, money diarist? No, we don't do things by halves. Oh, I'm noticing.

So I'm doing that now because I can only work part-time with the kids and because I work nights, it gives me the opportunity to be able to sort of focus on that as an option. So that's why we do that. We've touched on me working full-time. We've run the numbers. We've done the math. It's not worth it. It's really not. But for the same reason, it's also not worth me doing school hours five days a week. So I might work five hours in that day. I've got to pay for 12 hours of daycare. Yeah. Daycare can be absolutely crippling. And I feel like you guys have really thought about it. And I like asking that question because I think that it is such an important question to ask in a relationship when going through this period of time, it sounds like you're an absolute hustler.

And I don't expect anybody else in our community to bite off nearly as much as you can chew, but that is okay we can learn from your story so with that money diarist I super appreciate the time you've taken today to share that with us thank you for coming and thank you for sharing oh my goodness thank you I've listened to so many money diaries I was like I can relate to that I understand that oh I don't know that oh how good there'll be a lot of people listening to this feeling the exact same way exactly I mean I don't know how many other people are going to be like, oh yeah, I work part-time, I do my MBA. I also have three kids and I'm a hustler. Like, great, great. Thank you for making unrelatable content. I didn't realize how common IVF was

until we were in it. Yeah, for sure. True. I mean, I've had people from work who are doing IVF reach out to me and go, I didn't know you did IVF. What do you know about this? And I was like, well, get ready. I know everything. Sit down, my friends. I feel like it is so common, but for a very long time, it was kind of seen as something that shouldn't really be talked about because it's like you know if it's not working naturally like oh don't tell everybody about your bodily processes like and that's not the case at all I feel like you guys need as much if not more support like it's just so important anyway with that money diarist thank you for joining us and we will see you on another episode of money diaries next week see you then guys

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