She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Is It a Choice Between Religion & Your Financial Future?

Episode Date: February 11, 2024

Today's Money Diarist says that her difficult relationship with money is rooted in her strict religious upbringing and beliefs. Growing up in the Philippines her family didn’t discuss money, but since moving to Australia 4 years ago she's struggling to adapt to the culture and attitudes around money here. She earns a livable wage and is trying to adjust, but just can’t seem make the mental switch. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money.

She's on the money. hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries, where I get the absolute privilege of talking to one of our incredible She's On The Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week I got a message and it sounded like this. Hi V, I have a weird relationship and concept of money that is rooted in my religious upbringing and beliefs. Growing up in the Philippines, we didn't have to worry about money, and since moving here four years ago, I'm struggling to adapt to the culture and attitude around money in

Australia. Even though I earn a living wage and I'm trying to adjust, I can't make the mental switch. Money Diarist, welcome to the show. I feel like this will be a really interesting diary to share. Oh, I hope so. I know it will be. Let's start where I always do. What grade would you give your money habits if I asked you to give them a grade? I feel like I stand somewhere in C-. Oh, C-. Let's learn more about that. My favorite question is,

Money Diaries, let's jump straight in. Tell me a bit more about your money story. My attitude towards money is very peculiar in a sense that it stems from religious beliefs, but at the same time, I'm trying to adapt in the current society where it's at the peak of it's consumerism and capitalism so like growing up my parents never discussed money so they've basically taken on the full responsibility of meeting the needs for the family however in the same vein because they never discussed money with us we also never saw them struggle for money yeah okay so we always go back to our religious beliefs basically so everything will be provided for we don't have to worry anything because that's already been answered for like

it's already there but we just don't see it we just have to wait for it so right it's a peculiar situation for someone like me as a millennial where everyone sort of knows where they stand with money like it's either they struggle because of their current financial situation but in my case I'm not really struggling like I have a good wage like I have a good income and I know what my income is able to purchase but also it's like I don't want to be obsessed with money as well but I know that I have to look after for my future rather than just work work and not really putting that money into work itself yeah I would love to know more about this religious side of things but I've met a lot of people when I was working as a financial advisor

who were tackling, I guess, wealth creation for the first time because historically, like, their parents didn't really talk about that or do any of that kind of, like, they weren't investing because if they were, you know, had a roof over their head and food on the table and were grateful for what they had, like, that was exactly what you lived life for, right? So tell me more about this, I guess, religious side of things. One, because I'm pervy, but I think that a lot of people

will resonate with this, let's be honest. but like what type of religion was this was this something that you still adhere to or is this like your parents and you have differing values like i'd love to know as much as you're comfortable sharing my family was or actually still is christian so they're more of like baptist in a sense like southern american type of baptist we're very traditional in our way of beliefs so I grew up I went to primary school and we can't wear nail polishes because apparently that makes you like a prostitute or something oh very dramatic but yes I get it yes so and then we were taught like we can't go to the cinemas because bad people go to the cinemas or things like that

like there's a bit of a confusion or like radicalism in some of the teachings but eventually we were able to sort of reconcile and decide for ourselves what we think is acceptable in terms of our religion and basically just sort of separated from that type of thinking in terms of the financial side the religious aspect of it is that first of all we believe that god provides for everything right so even before you ask for it it's already there so it's already answered for and second of all getting obsessed with money is evil so if you are so hung up with money like you're so money hungry that it becomes now sort of a worship to money itself which is yeah very frowned upon which is very toxic in that culture right yeah it's not seen as being

a good thing it's seen as being very negative yeah so that is why I never saw my parents struggle they're always like we can do that we'll just have to wait look my parents were not like just waiting for dole outs or something my parents had good jobs yeah it's just the thought pattern behind it and then we also had to I don't know if you've heard of this but some of us give 10% of our gross yeah the tithe yeah the tithe so I practiced that even when I was just receiving school allowance wow which didn't really amount to anything but but it was the practice yeah I wasn't pressured into it but you feel that certain guilt well actually you would say that it's pressure but because you have that guilt to comply but you sort of have this thinking that oh I want

to give because God loveth a cheerful giver. Something like that. Yeah. Is this something that now you're obviously an adult, you live in Australia. Do you still see it that way? Like, are you still paying a tithe? Are you like looking at your parents going, wow, it looks like we didn't have to worry about money growing up. But now in hindsight, maybe we did. Like, I guess, have you had your blinkers taken off now that you're an adult? I would say so. It's just that my parents were really really good at hiding it yeah i remember there was a time that i had to pay for something at school and my dad basically had to he is a lawyer so what he did was he actually had to produce a physical output so he can bill a client and that earning is allocated

for that school need or school activity so now that I'm basically an adult I think I hope you are now I sort of know in a different sense like pay the mortgage pay electricity pay water and back then I was just like oh let's have the air conditioner on for a whole day and nobody cares you didn't understand that that meant money right yeah we had to pay electricity but I didn't know the implications of turning on the air conditioner for like six hours straight yeah yeah which now as an adult I'm always like is the air con on it's fine in here let's turn it off now it's just like okay maybe I can turn it on for like 30 minutes just to get rid of the heat inside this apartment and that's it and now as an adult I still do tithes but that tithe goes into a savings

account it's for you and it earns so I don't know how to feel about that like do I also like when the time comes that I actually need to give the money to the church do I also include the interest accrued on that saving no I feel like that's your money working for you so now I'm like there's nothing in the bible talking about interest you know like do I also have to pay interest it's an interesting concept because I think that up until you know not now but up until more recently i.e. the last couple of hundred of years we're now talking about investing and putting ourselves forward and a lot of those things they really conflict with the teachings that are in the Bible and are, you know, what hold down a lot of religious beliefs, right?

Like it's always about giving back and it's always about community. And I know lots of churches, they tithe. I'm not the biggest fan of tithing purely because I know how much money the churches have and they don't need it. In this economy, I would prefer the members of a church to have access to more income to you know put themselves in the better position because in my mind a rising tide lifts all ships and like if you're doing well you're going to be way happier in that church and this isn't like me saying anything about my religious beliefs or what you should and shouldn't believe it's not

the case at all it's more I just think that's such a historical practice that now you go life's tough things are expensive like the idea that you would give 10% of your income where you're a female, you're probably already being underpaid. Most people are. Do you know what I mean? Like you just look at it and go, is that the best use of funds? Is that the best use of a resource for this community? And if not, then what does it look like fairly? Because I'm pretty sure like regardless of what you believe in, people should be in a position where they aren't financially compromised. So I just go, what does that look like? And it would be very, very hard to navigate. I want to know though, now we're talking about money,

how much do you earn and what do you do for work? So I'm a case manager for a non-for-profit organization and I earn around $86,000 before deductions. Is that before or after super? before super very nice tell me more about I guess your big money goals and also how do you feel about big money goals I think big money goals are good because it's sort of like puts you into perspective like what do you want to see in terms of financial standing or in terms of financial freedom so i think one of my big money goals for this year is to do the 10 000 savings money hack oh yeah you can download those free on our website that's one and then the second one is paying off my car also this year so i have a little under ten thousand dollars left on that so that's sort

of like now twenty thousand in terms of big money goals but for the long term my big money goal is help out my husband to pay off the mortgage and you know see if we can sell it in the future and buy a house so that's something that I wanted to do but we have to discuss the nitty-gritty details before we get started on that I suppose I love that did you move over from the Philippines with your husband four years ago or did you meet him here tell me about that we love a little love story so no i didn't meet him back home i met him here in sydney and we met online oh cute we didn't have a meet cute but we did have like a nice start to our conversation and relationship i suppose i moved in like with him two years ago yeah and then we got married last year congrats

how exciting thank you yeah it is but there's not really much difference to than when we were just dating because I was still living with him already oh that's a little bit spicy actually if your family are super religious how did they feel about you moving in with your partner before you were married they didn't know I knew that was coming I was like did you tell them you didn't did do but I feel like my parents had an idea we don't have to tell them your housemates like there's two bedrooms we actually concocted a story like I am his renter and he's just like a random landlord oh nice yeah if ever my parents did ask where are you living now and I'm like oh here in this little suburb oh so where did you rent I'm just like oh I rented from this

gay men oh you told them he was gay we were planning to give a similar story like that just so that I'll have an excuse why I'm no longer living with my sister because I used to live with my sister did your sister know no she didn't oh you're so cheeky how did that work because I used to live like as a live-in nanny so I sort of like extended that period that I was living with the family but at that time I was already living with him I love this so they're just like thinking how's the kid that you're looking after I'm like yeah she's fine he's a lot older than you think he is so yeah they didn't have an idea but I think they have a bit of a hint we don't need to talk about it with them though they'll never know I like it let's leave it that way and then you guys

decided to get married. That's very exciting. Yeah. Was that something that you guys had to save up for for ages or you did something small or what did that look like? We didn't spend a lot of money on the wedding because I just couldn't bear the idea of spending like tens of thousands of dollars on a single day. That's so fair. Luckily, my parents paid for my wedding dress and the only item I had to fork out on was my shoes yeah and for him his suit and his shoes and the dinner after and we got married at the civil registry like oh cute I love that that was very easy to accomplish yeah I love that so much all right let's go to a really quick break because I have a lot of questions I want to know about investments and debts and your best and

worst money habits. So don't go anywhere. All right, Money Diarist, we are back and I am loving this chat. I feel like it's really pervy. Also, you are a lot cheekier than I thought you might be going into this because I was like, oh yeah, she grew up in a religious family. And then you're like, I didn't tell them I moved in with my partner. When it comes to religion, I know you said before, you're still allocating money to a savings account for a tithe and a tithe for people who are like, what are you guys talking about? It's basically a commitment that you have with the church to pay 10% of your income to them. And it's about community and it's about, you know, giving back to the church and it's usually closely tied to being morally

good in a way, right? So you're currently putting your tithe in a savings account because I feel like you're questioning whether this is a good idea or not. How does your partner feel about this and I guess the religious side of things is he on the same page as you are you completely different like what does that look like we're definitely different in terms of religion he's now sort of like backing away from the whole religion thing because he used to be part of a cult a cult this is not what I expected bombshell after bombshell with you so it's not really a cult where you know they burn people alive or whatever but it's just very dodgy where you can't join unless you are personally invited and vetted by someone who's already a member oh my gosh a proper

cult in australia yes sad to say it's in melbourne so no yeah he used to be living in melbourne yeah And that's where it started. I'm going to ask you what it is offline so I can do some research, but we don't need to put that on the podcast. We don't need a cult coming for us. How interesting. And so he's completely backing away from that. And obviously you've grown up with really religious family members

and I'm assuming that because you lived with your sister and like you were being a bit cheeky with your parents, you were probably still close with them, right? So like how's this working out for you? so nowadays my parents are just very blasé now in terms of religion really yeah so back then i couldn't get out of going into church every sunday yeah it's like they don't care if you're tired or if you want to go hang out with your friends you're coming to church with us and you can see your friends after yeah but nowadays they're just like oh okay they don't mind so

much they're not as strict anymore they don't mind so much anymore because it's probably sunk into them that we're all adults now and we have our own choices to make yeah of course but back then I never missed the church unless I was really sick yeah wow and that was until I was maybe 20 years old. Oh my gosh. And then what made you go, all right, I want to move to Australia? Because that's a big change. And I mean, you've mentioned before that like the thing you're struggling with is capitalism and consumerism. Like what made you want to move to Australia? So I lived in a very small town back home and I felt like the life there is just so slow that i feel like i'm rotting away and i thought i might as well go to australia and you know live

with my sister because she's already here yeah i never really internalized yeah that the lifestyle and how people here sort of tackle money is very different than how it is back home i love that So now, I guess when you mentioned, you know, it's much harder because it's obviously a more capitalist and consumerist society, right? Like it's everywhere. It's social media. It's the billboards that you see on the train on the way to work. It's in your face here. And it's obviously very different in the Philippines. Is that something that, you know, you're finding you're spending a lot more or being, you know, sucked into consumerism or like, what does that actually mean for you I try so hard not to get hung up on the things that are

being presented in front of me especially like I'm a big sucker for like facials and you know things to make me feel better like massage and many petties but I yeah really really try so hard to say nope you don't need to spend 250 on a facial it's a lot of money hey it is and that really shocked me to my core like my whole being could not comprehend how something that i used to take for granted that i used to be able to get back home for like maybe so-and-so amount of dollars equivalent in Australia costs this much in reality here in this society in this type of economy so that was very hard for me to not comprehend but sort of wrap my head around yeah and now I've gone on for maybe like four years without a proper facial from

an aesthetician because I just do it myself. Yeah fair it's a lot of money I can't comprehend it don't worry I totally get it. A facial is an investment so tell me a bit more do you have any investments if so what are they? So I did go on to Chersey's last December. Oh check you out what a good choice. Yeah so I did only make a small investment because I'm still trying to us out what I would like to invest on. I have my super. So I also changed my super into a high growth option. I think I listened to one of the podcasts and I was like, hang on, I didn't know about that. You hadn't checked it. Yeah. Fair enough. I could change it. And then I think it's looking better, especially the last month that I've changed it since then. Very good. And in

addition to investments do you have any debts if so what are they I still have nine thousand seven hundred dollars owing on my car because I had to purchase a car last year for work and I'm solely paying that off so I'm on track to pay that off by end of this year very good which is a year earlier than the loan term that's very good yeah I think so too any other debts When you get out of debt, the second you paid off, it is the most exciting thing ever to just feel that weight off your shoulders and know you don't owe anybody anything. I feel like I'd be really, really happy once I see that money go down to zero. You'll have to message me when it happens because I'll celebrate too.

I feel like you've learned a lot. Like you've had, obviously, a very different upbringing to what a lot of our listeners are going to have had. But I do think it's relatively relatable having, you know religious parents that have their beliefs that overshadow money and then you know make it quite complex for you to learn about money because it's like not just the concept of money but this idea of greed and guilt I think plays into a lot of you know what you do and the decisions that you make and feeling like oh am I making the right decision is this greedy of me because you don't want to feel that way but also I think it's important to put you first what do you think now is your best money habit i think my best money habit because of the whole tithing thing i am able

to like segregate my money into small baskets okay so i'm gonna pay a tithe first and then i'll separate the money for my car repayment and then some money into a savings account for a holiday next year things like that and then the rest is my disposable income sometimes it doesn't even get disposed yeah good so sometimes I add more to my savings and pay more into my car repayment but I have one money habit that I feel like is also my worst money habit what is it so I can pretty much convince myself that I don't have money for things. Like I can go on to the Iconic and put things in the cart and then just say, nope, you don't have money for that. And then just remove everything from the cart and close the app and forget about it. That's a good money

habit, not a bad money habit. I wish that every time I logged into the Iconic, I could fill up my cart and then get rid of it instead of pressing checkout because all I do is press checkout. yeah but that money habit i think puts me in a cycle of deprivation and binging yeah that's fair for years i was broke in australia and i'm always like no you don't have money to buy clothes but also at the same time i think it allows me to live within my means like way better than i would expect so it really allows me to put things into perspective and really figure out which things are the ones that i really need and the ones that will give me more value for money yeah that's fair so sometimes i don't really purchase things like just because they're cheap

or oh i like it and it's only like 50 bucks but then how long is that gonna last you you know it could be a pair of shoes and then it'll get broken by the time i wear it the fifth time yeah so it's all about like thinking about where you're at now not what you were like do you think with your tie thing obviously i know you're still putting that aside but do you think that you will continue to tithe or do you think that the times are changing and you're like actually this could be a little bit more powerful over here like i said before i put it in a savings account but i don't give it to the sydney church i don't plan on giving it to an australian church because i feel right they have enough yes so i feel like i would be better off if i send it back home and

it would really really help the communities back home where they can spend the money into possibly building a church and you know helping the people in need rather than here where it's people who earn hundreds of thousands of dollars in a year and it just doesn't make sense does it? Yeah, it doesn't. That's why the tithes are sitting in a savings account. But I agree with that fully. And I feel like in economies like the Philippines, when it comes to tithing and giving to a church, it does get used more often on the local community, whereas I don't see the same thing happening in Australia. And I mean, a lot of people probably argue with me. I'm honestly not interested in the conversation. We're being brutal.

But like they'll say, no, no, no, it goes back into the community. And I'll be like, yes, but not in the same way. Like people in the Philippines genuinely are struggling a lot more than they are in Australia when it comes to basic needs. And I know that a lot of the churches over there, they're building shelters, they're building churches, they're building, you know, access to clean water, they're building sewage systems. And I just think that that makes to me a lot more sense than tithing to, you know, a big

church in Sydney who will, you know, give back to the community, but they've got a barbecue on a Sunday after church. And I just go, that's probably not, you know, where I would want my money working hard, right? Like if I'm still going to do this. Yeah. So we've spoken a fair bit. This has been very eye-opening. I have loved our conversation, but at the start of the conversation, you said, I think I'm a C minus with money, but it turns out you're actually pretty good at money. Like you're, you know good at making sure that you have your little baskets of money and where things go and what they look like I think you're very aware of your spending and you earn really good money but what would it take to get you from a c- to an a what changes would you need to be making

I feel like I really need to up my investment game like really teach myself how to be patient in terms of seeing that growth make sure that i don't touch that money for the years to come and really make smart decisions on what types of investments the ones that will give me so to speak more bang for my buck yeah so i think that's what would really get me to a because i feel like And that's the only thing missing in this whole puzzle piece. Yeah. I feel like that's a pretty achievable thing to do, though. Yeah. It's not like, oh, I'm a C- and I'm going to have to look at my budget and cash flow. I need to earn more. I need to get out heaps of consumer debt. Like, that's a very easy change with education. So that makes me really excited that you're able to achieve that pretty quickly, I think.

Like, yeah, I hope so too because, you know, it's good to have the things that you want to achieve. I agree so much. I wish we had more time to talk and more time to go through this. I have many a question about cults and religious upbringings. I feel like that topic is always really spicy. But Mani Dharasti, it has been a pleasure getting to know you. Thank you for being so open and honest.

I feel like lots of people are going to listen to this and be like, wow, that's so interesting. that's so different to the way that I've grown up. And I think my favorite thing about Money Diaries is that you get to learn through other people's experiences. And for me, that's the best way to learn. I don't want to just sit down and read books about finance. I want to know how a Money Diarist from Sydney who moved from the Philippines manages money and changes her life. And I think that is just so cool that we get to share those stories every day. So Money Diarist, I'm really grateful. Thank you for joining me. Thank you.

the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.