She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Late Blooming Law Student

Episode Date: October 24, 2021

Happy Monday Friends! Our Money Diarist this week has shared her story of growing up privileged but not without mental health and family struggles. And just a tiny content note we do mention Eating Disorders very briefly in this episode.The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN 34 132 463 257 - AFSL 339151.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. my name is tony lodge and joining me for another shot back money diary is victoria divine hello hello tony lodge um i've got a great money diary for you again this week which i say every single week and it sounds like a lot of our intros but they're all really good look i tend to agree but at the same time maybe we could think of something more creative to say or maybe we could just get

into the money diary how about that okay i'll say something better next week all right no problems All right, Tony, can you read out this week's Money Diaries email for me? All right, here we go. Hi, she's on the money team. I'm a 25-year-old full-time uni student, full-time legal assistant, who has only in the last 12 months got my act together with my finances and planned my goals, financial and otherwise, for the next few years. I've always been a bit of a late bloomer,

and while many of my friends had successful high school careers, I did not really start to come into my own until the last two years. many of my friends have recently kicked massive life goals such as buying a house having a baby and getting married while i'm still at uni after five years even though i fully intend and want to achieve those things as well it can be hard to fight the false feeling of remaining stagnant i was so thrilled to discover your podcast as it really gave me the kick up the bum i needed to take actionable steps to organize my finances i still have a long way to go but can finally say I'm proud of where I'm at in life and of what I've achieved I'm with Jess on this one I believe

in the power of manifestation and I'm so excited to see what goals I smash in the future now that I have some conviction behind me regards late blooming law student oh I love this I can't wait and Tony now I know exactly why you were having a joke about me not doing anything too naughty or saying anything too rude because she's a legal assistant uh-huh she knows her stuff all right Well, as always, we have our money diarist on the line so we can ask them lots of questions about their personal financial situation and how they do what they do. Welcome to the show, money diarist. Hello.

I'm really happy to be here. We are really happy that you're here. Honestly, this will be fun. And I think it's one of those things that if you're at uni and you've been at uni for an extended period of time, you just automatically feel behind. and i can really resonate with that as someone who's done seven years of university i just remember seeing all my friends who potentially started working after school and didn't go through that uni journey you kind of go oh okay well you know i'm in my i would say mid-20s now

and they're buying houses and doing things that i'm not am i behind no you're not just summary of this i know you're not so let's get into the questions as always the first question is what is your attitude towards money so my attitude towards money has really changed in the last two years it sounds like it oh my gosh yeah it really has because my parents have always taught me that money is something that should stay within the family and we don't talk about it with anyone else and my dad is very high earning he's one of the top professionals in his industry so I've always been really lucky to have everything that I've always wanted and needing growing up my brother and I have always been provided for and my first time overseas was

when I was only six months old because both of my parents I know it's amazing because both my parents were born overseas so we were just really lucky to be able to travel and see our family overseas so I've had a very privileged upbringing so I've always had that you say that I love that you say that you're like I went overseas six months old but I'm quite clearly aware the fact that that's not that normal like I think I went overseas and this is again privileged for the first time when I was like 14 and it was the only overseas trip I ever went on with my family before you know ending actually ever um and it was to Fiji and I remember going to Fiji for a week and that was so wild like it was like one of those all expenses paid like trips yeah yeah yeah where

like the ice cream was like never ending and kids club was like free it was so fun but yeah I remember growing up at school looking at all the kids that went overseas during like school holidays and stuff and be like oh do they know how lucky they've got it I'm glad money diarist that you know well honestly I didn't until I started dating my current partner because he comes from a very different background from me because he's the first in his family to go to university and I come from a family of lawyers so it was always expected that I would go to university and for his family they've never been very high earning and he really taught me how lucky I am and helped me shine a light on my privilege and before that I took a lot of stuff for granted and I just didn't

really realize how lucky I am to always have my parents to rely on financially whereas he's always had to support himself wow how did that revelation feel like at what point in your relationship did you realize that was that in the initial dating phases or a little bit later like how does that come about or that topic come about in a relationship it's an ongoing process honestly like even now he'll sometimes still call me out for my privilege because sometimes I'll still like accidentally slip into bad habits and let my parents pay for something for me or I'll let them support me with my groceries or something like that and my partner will say actually you know I'm not sure if you should be doing that or you know he'll remind me that I am working full

time and I should be able to support myself financially so it's an ongoing process but I think you need to be open to being able to acknowledge your own biases and being able to say oh actually I need to call myself out as well oh I really like that you seem like you're really switched on and I guess kind of humble about that situation as well you're like oh yeah actually like I really like that all right next question what do you currently do for work and how much money do you earn so as Tony said I am a full-time legal assistant which I have been doing for three years now and I earn $55,000 a year hey that's pretty good for a uni student are you studying full-time and working full-time uh this semester I am studying full-time as well as working full-time

but normally I've been doing it it's a lot honestly yeah it would be a lot and not just time-wise but like the mental capacity for working a full-time job and being across that and also trying to learn and like fill your brain with new information absolutely I find I'm so tired at the end of the day because I just am thinking all day at work and then I have to go and do some more thinking for my university studies like the last thing I want to do more thinking like oh my gosh I totally get that and I don't know if you slip into that mindset of like you might be at uni doing something and you just can't wait to get home and it's like you have blinkers on and you completely forget you've got all these other

commitment you get home you feel relaxed and then you're like this overwhelming sense of dread you're like oh I've got an assignment or oh I've got to get this work thing done you're like oh no is this ever gonna end yeah definitely and I think that's like the whole point of my money story really is that the mental load of studying and working is so heavy and it can be really hard not to compare yourself to other people especially when they've had different journeys from me yeah of course of course. So can you tell me a little bit about your living situation? Are you living out of home? Are you living at home? Do you live with a partner? What does that look like for you? So at the moment, I'm living by myself in Melbourne and I'm renting and my partner is living in Queensland because

he's finishing up his Masters of Teaching. So we're doing the long distance thing at the moment. Yeah. How does that go? It's been really hard, honestly, because I moved, I used to live in Melbourne and I always knew that I wanted to move back so I moved from Brisbane to Melbourne last year and I was really happy that I made that decision but it meant I was living alone for all the lockdowns and that was really really hard because I didn't have my family I didn't have my partner and I have friends in Melbourne but obviously I couldn't see them because of the lockdowns. Wow how did that play on you mentally living alone? Yeah honestly it took a really big toll on my mental health and last year um I had a lot of support with my university studies from

my parents and from my partner just because at the end of last year I think we were all just feeling really depleted emotionally and mentally and even though I still had friends coming over to the house like I had a bubble buddy which was really good but they always go away after that visit and then you're alone again which is really hard yeah it doesn't feel the same as being able to snuggle up on the couch with your partner and fall asleep like that's when a friend's over you it's a bit like you're on all the time as well you don't get that down time with a partner which I think is what I would miss the most definitely and I think I thought 2021 would be better but it's actually been so much harder because oh my gosh I was meant to go to a friend's wedding

earlier this year in Queensland and I couldn't go and all my friends were there and my partner was there and that was so hard like that was just one of the most challenging things yeah but hopefully we are at the end of this and we've found a way forward to manage COVID into our everyday lives so hopefully this is one of the last lockdowns we'll ever see yeah fingers crossed um and that's why I decided to come back to Queensland for a while because I was like I'm just gonna go seeing my partner so I'm actually in hotel quarantine at the moment but I'll get out on Friday oh my gosh how's hotel quarantine going I mean I feel like I've handled it really well because I have a positive attitude but it's definitely been really tough and the second

half is definitely harder I think because yeah it just feels like a really long two weeks yeah I can imagine all right next question back on track is money diarist what is your big money goal at the moment so at the moment my big money goal is to save for my emergency fund I have about seven thousand dollars in that at the moment but this year oh my god she's already got an emergency fund I do I do but I'm that kind of person who can't live with like twenty dollars in my bank account like I just cannot do that I need to have that mental security to know that I have that money there and I would have had a lot more in my account but this year I actually spent a lot of money on me like I did a group therapy program just to work on some issues that I've

been struggling with and I'm training for a half marathon in December at the moment so I've spent a lot of money this year on me and I definitely do feel a bit guilty about that no let's reframe that you didn't spend a lot of money on you this year you invested a lot of money on you this year and going through so much isolation I feel like that was money well spent you didn't say hey I went and bought a whole heap of shoes and clothes and all the stuff that Victoria's been buying online. I did group therapy and I'm working on my physical health. Let's just sweep that bit under a rug. But I think it's really important to not feel guilty about that spending because what you just told me was you still have a pretty safe emergency fund if anything went wrong. And

it's not like you've gone into debt for these things. So I don't think we need to carry guilt for decisions like that. Absolutely. I think from what I can tell in the She's On The Money community there are a lot of other people who feel the same way about spending money and I think it's just about changing your mindset and changing that conversation that you have with yourself which can be really hard sometimes but it's a daily practice I find absolutely agree all right next question is do you currently have any investments I do so I signed up to spaceship and raise after listening to the podcast and I'm doing thank you I'm doing the ryan john five dollars a day coffee thing genius genius i already have over a thousand dollars in

my raise account so i'm oh my gosh what i know it just adds up this coffee thing like i am not an advocate of just getting rid of daily coffees i think i've said on the podcast before it's a no from me but being able to invest five dollars a day she really adds up but i also have six thousand in Sixth Park um and I also have yeah and they also have some shares that I bought myself on the stock market from Nab Trade oh my gosh she's a hustler all right next question is do you currently have any debts Tony I think we know the answer to this one but we've still got to ask its process I actually don't have any debts at the moment um I will have to pay for my hotel quarantine which will be very expensive but for me it's definitely worth it um I'm also really

lucky and I know this is a really privileged position to be in but my parents have actually been paying for my university fees and I've been paying them back yeah because they want to teach me about having a loan and paying it back and I understand that most people aren't in a position where they're able to do that but I'm really grateful to my parents that they are financially able to support me in that way and they've also told me about budgeting and saving because every year I have to pay them for my university fees and then at the end when I graduate I won't have a hex debt which is really great yeah which I think is really cool again really grateful that you're calling out your own privilege there but at the same time like it's cool for us to learn

that that's how you're learning how to budget and save and invest and you know I've got a hex debt and I'm kind of treating it in the same way that you're potentially treating your parents so I think we can all learn from going to university having those fees at the end of the day thankfully our help system means that we're not incurring significant interest on it but to be in the position where you're not going to have your help debt taken out of your future income like oh I would have liked to be in that position that sounds like a nice position to be in yeah definitely and a law degree is so expensive as well and I'm doing a double degree so I'm doing a law degree and then also a degree in fine arts with honours so at the end I'm gonna have a smart tiny girl

I'm super creative as well so I really wanted to do a double degree so I have that creative output as well because law can be really dry sometimes so it's good to have something fun to do yeah I love that that you're getting to pursue something that you love as well as something that you know is going to be your future career next question and I have a sneaky you suspicion, I might know the answer to this because you dropped a hint before that you're also good at spending money on clothes and shoes. Do you use Shopback? I do. I've been using Shopback. I know. I actually love buying shoes and clothes. A bit of a bad habit of mine, but oh well, it's fine. We all have our vices. Of course, we all have that and we've got to normalize it. Like

shoes to me bring a lot of happiness. It's like, I know that it's just a small serotonin birth, but I still love buying clothes online. As long as it's in your budget and it's in line with your values. I am not here to argue with you, my friend. We'll allow it. Yeah. We'll, we'll accept that answer. All right. Next question is money. Darius, what is your best money habit? I think my best money habit I think I have two actually so firstly I'm super stingy which can also be a negative habit sometimes because I'm really stingy even when I go overseas on holidays and things like that but it can be good because I'm really thrifty so if there is a bargain I will hunt it out I'm like a bloodhound for a bargain I love going off shopping and buying secondhand because

I'm really passionate about living sustainably as well. And another money habit that I have that is really positive is I have three different bank accounts and I literally use one as a holding bay and then I just transfer it to my other bank accounts or to my investments or wherever I need that money to go. Smart. I love that. In comparison though, we do have to ask you the next question what is your worst money habit so I think sometimes I can get really hung up on not spending money and then I'll spend a lot of money in one go like I'll spend like three hundred dollars or something like that and then I'll be really good with not spending money day to day and then I'll have a really big blowout which is not the best and usually that's on like

clothes or a discretionary purchase I don't really need. All right next question next and final question before we head to a break is what grade would you give your money habits if we forced you to give yourself a grade? I'd probably give myself a B just because I want to work on some more balance with my money habits like not having those big blowouts sometimes and being able to treat myself but being a bit more discretionary about it but also I think I need to be a bit kinder to myself just in general and with my money mindset and just change my ideas about spending and money and I'm very much a person that believes that you can always grow and improve like I'm very much into self-help books and manifesting and things like that so I

never believe that you're at a point where you can't grow more or learn more but I think I'm happy with where I am in terms of my money story, but I would also like to save lots more money next year and see improvements in different areas. All right, Money Diarist, I have a few questions for you, but I'm going to wait until after this short break. So, Money Diarist, you mentioned in the beginning that you have grown up with a great relationship with your family um obviously that's had a really big impact on your financial insight and how you feel about money and stuff like that like what's your relationship with your family like now are you still really close yes we are and I think the reason we're so close is because all our family

are overseas so it's always been the four of us now the five of us growing up yeah because when I was in high school my cousin actually came and lived with us because her parents weren't able to care from for her so she's lived with us she came and lived with us when she was 10 months old and now she you know 10 years later so she's still living with us 10 months old so she was like super baby still yeah she was just a little baby when she came and lived with us and she was born overseas yeah um but she because of some family problems my cousin does have severe or she is on the autism spectrum and she has very high functioning autism and she also has adhd so she attends a special school and uh we're not really sure what's going to happen to her because

she's still in nappies and she's not able to care for herself so that's something that we've had to consider like are we going to set up a trust for her or how are we going to make sure that she's cared for but also that how can we protect her money from other relatives or people who might try to access assets and take advantage of her so that's something that we've considered which is is tricky and um my family have also had some experience with mental illness that have brought us closer as well because my um younger brother he struggled with uh anorexia which is a type of eating disorder and he's recovered from that now luckily but it's still ongoing and we're not really sure he he had dropped out of high school because of bullying and we're not really sure if he's

going to be able to look after himself and it seems like he might have to live with me one day So that's kind of, it can be a heavy burden to carry sometimes, like knowing that I'm the only one in my family who might be able to attend university or might be able to work. But also the mental load of caring for someone. And I know you use the word burden and it's kind of like you're not allowed to say that, but caring for family is really, really intense. I've been through it and it's something that no amount of money in the world can actually make that easier because it's just the the mental commitment to caring for somebody else um and I

guess like as you acknowledge you know you grew up quite privileged but do you feel like that was quite confronting then to kind of deal with like oh wow like it's not not everything's easy like and I'm not trying to call you out at all it's more just like that would have just been so crazy to kind of think about and comprehend at such a young age as well yeah definitely and I think it really shaped my young adult life and helped who I've grown into because I realized that unless you have known disability personally you don't really understand what it's like and yeah don't you yeah and I had no idea what it meant to be on the autism spectrum or to have a family member with a disability before all of the experiences that my family went through and now that I do it's

really opened my eyes and you know there are supports out there like on the NDIS and things like that but a lot of people slip through the cracks because they don't have that support network or they don't have the financial ability to support themselves or they are taken advantage of by family members. Wow that is so true and I don't mean to like I guess stereotype but as somebody who as you said before really privileged upbringing like quite a high income family I think from the outside looking in you'll be like oh they're so lucky they've got you know everything that they could need and it's like well every family has issues every family's got something going on like it's not always as shiny as what the outside makes it seem is that something that

you've found a lot of people just assume all right well you know money diarist has got it easy yeah definitely and I find sometimes even some friends make assumptions about my family because they know that we're wealthy or that we're well off and it can be quite embarrassing sometimes to tell people or I felt quite ashamed of the fact that we have a lot of money because people do make assumptions even though I know that my parents have worked really hard to get where they are and they came from a place where they didn't have much money but it can this there is still a lot of stigma around people who do have a lot of money or high income earners that sucks and I'm so sorry that you've been through that experience because it's also one of those factors that's

actually completely beyond your control like at the end of the day if I could pick whether I came from a wealthy family or not I'd prefer to have a more wealthy family than not but it's not a decision that you made it's the situation that was just dealt to you and you've dealt with and you know again as you said before it's privileged but it's not one of those things that was a choice it was because your parents worked so hard and did those things. And it kind of upsets me to think that in, you know, in 2021, and I'm sure this has happened way before then too, people are still judging you based on the situation that was beyond your control. Like regardless of whether that is wealth or on the opposite side of the scale poverty, like how often do we stereotype and

categorize people who come from families who don't have money as maybe not being as worthy or not being as anything as anybody else. And it's not true. Like we are all our own people and we all go through different things and we all have to work hard. Like our money, Darius, it's not easy to go to uni. You still have to do the same work that everybody else does. And you're working full time at the same time as well. You know, like you're working a little bum off. Exactly. So it's not something that our money, Darius, is like, do you know what? I'm from a really wealthy family. I'm going to go to uni. I'm not going to work. I'm just going to, you know, just do things that I love, which would be really warranted if that's what you wanted to do, but you're really working

hard. And I think that's something that, you know, obviously grand assumption here, your parents have taught you a lot about work ethic as well, which I really, really love. Yeah, absolutely. And I think there's a really important piece to be said here about the fact that if you want to be a high income earner, yes, there is systemic blockages in the way to prevent some people from ever getting there but if you do want to get there you have to be prepared to work hard and to make sacrifices and in my family I've seen like you know my my parents work incredibly hard and sometimes my dad will be at work all weekend and he sacrifices family time so that he can do his job really well and that's a choice that he makes because his career is something that he

always really wanted to prioritize and even within my family like we move to a new city every six or seven years because that's where the work was because the higher up you get the more competitive it is and the less opportunities there are so I'm not saying that it's easy for everyone to become a high income earner but it's not easy to be on the top either and there is a lot of hard work that you have to put in to get there yeah of course I have one last question um what are you most excited about because it sounds like you've got lots of things on the go like you're at uni you're working really hard you've obviously got like your own family commitments and things like that but what are you most excited about in your life that's to come for me I'm really excited to

finally graduate uni and settle into a new stage of my life because I've been at uni for five years now and I'm really grateful for that opportunity I've changed so much in that time I've learned so much about myself but I'm really ready to graduate now like I'm ready to settle into my career and live with my partner again and start saving for a house. Like I'm ready to just put university behind me. How exciting. Well, I feel like that's a really good place to leave it, but we really appreciate you sharing your story with us. And it was such a pleasure to chat to you today. Thank you so much for having me on the show. It was great to talk to you. Thank you so much again for sharing your money diary with us. Honestly, I feel like every single time,

Tony, we do a money diary. I learn so much, but as always, just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing and for caring for the land on which we are able to learn. We pay our respects to elders past and present and we share our friendship and our kindness. The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or any financial decision and we promise as always that

victoria divine is an authorized representative of australia pacific funds management proprietary limited abm 34132463257afsl339151 see you next week guys bye you