She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Letting Go Of Your Ego

Episode Date: July 30, 2023

Having growing up in a money savvy household and having studied commerce, today's Money Diarist thought she had a good grip on her finances. But when she was left with nothing in her bank account after a bad relationship ended, she had some reckoning to do. Still struggling after a year of living alone, she decided to move back in with her parents. She wants to share her story of the strength that comes after letting go of the ego, and starting again. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money.

She's on the money. hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom welcome back to another one of our money diaries where i get the opportunity to talk to one of our incredible She's On The Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message and it went like this. Hi V, growing up in a barefoot investor household and studying commerce, I always thought I had a good grip on my finances. But after a bad and manipulative relationship, I was left with nothing in my bank account. After a year of living on my own, I was still

struggling. So I decided to move back in with my parents and I'm feeling so many emotions. I would love to share my experience of letting go of my ego and starting again. Money Diarist, I'm really excited for this one. I think this is going to be an epic Money Diary. I hope so. I'm excited to be here. Welcome to the show. Oh my gosh. I'm excited to have you. Thank you. All right, let's dive straight into it. The first question I always ask is, Money Diarist, if I forced you to give your money habits a grade from A through to F, what would you give your money habits? I'm going to say it's a solid B. A solid B. All right. Let's learn a little bit more about it with my favorite question of all

time. Money Diarist, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story? Sure. So it probably would be beneficial to start from the start. Studying. Yep. May as well. Growing up, I was always really independent. I always had a job and I always had money coming through my bank account. So I guess like my attitude towards money was really relaxed because I always knew my bills were going to get paid. I was going to have another paycheck come through in the next fortnight. I felt pretty secure and pretty laid back about everything and as well like yeah in the environment I grew up in I was super privileged

I had parents who were really into the barefoot investor that changed their life I have a dad for an accountant so like he is a spreadsheet king so is mine I feel like same literally same Yeah. And it's like every single holiday or every single expense is meticulously planned with a spreadsheet. So, yeah, no, I definitely had a wealth of resources around me and I even did a degree in commerce as well. Oh, that's sexy. Yeah. Yeah. Economics and finance is my thing. Who just dropped that? Oh, yeah. I also just did a degree in economics and finance.

No biggie. and I work in a bank so you're surrounded by money and then when you're bored you're like oh my gosh when I'm not surrounded by money I'm gonna listen to a money podcast right I'm so yeah yeah no so growing up and even now like I just have such a wealth of resources around me and I know I'm very privileged in that respect to have that but I always was so laid back with my finances and budgeting I didn't really do much if that makes sense it just worked is that because your parents were good at being barefoot investor followers or like how did that come to fruition was that something that they had done since you can remember or did they introduce that a little

bit later in life like what did that look like I mean I won't go too far into their money story but it really changed their world like from when I was younger I didn't really know too much about it, but I definitely saw that tool change their mindset growing up. So I saw this like development and change in them over the years. And yeah, I guess after seeing that, you know, I thought I was exactly the same and that I didn't really need to do any kind of budgeting or build up a spreadsheet or anything like that. I didn't think that that was necessary because I had all these resources and that kind of makes sense because once you have been taught like a structure and you have a solid framework and you kind of work towards that and that's just kind of your default

which it's not for many right if that's your default you're kind of like well why would I do a budget because I already have a really good handle of what's coming in and what's going out because that's just how I work like it's uncommon it's very sexy my friend but it's one of those things where you're like I don't know why I need a budget and then other people who might be mountains and mountains of debt go, what do you mean? You don't know if you need a budget or not. Of course you need a budget. But it's all these different experiences where, yeah, I find it really cool that you grew up with the barefoot method because it is such a tried and true method of just going, okay, well, this amount goes here and this amount goes there. And you don't have to

meticulously track it each and every single day or even each month, but it can just work. Is that still how you work when it comes to money? Definitely not. I'm definitely in a discovery phase, I'd say, of what works and what doesn't and actually being open to different resources to try figure out what am I like working towards and how can I get there with something that works for how I operate, I guess. Yeah. Now, this is a really pointed question because please don't get me wrong. I actually really like the barefoot method, but I find it was written for a demographic of people that are not you. Yeah. You look young and quite early in your journey. And I feel like the barefoot method was really written for people who potentially are already parents,

who have the goal of owning their own home and paying it off before retirement and retiring comfortably maybe with a pension because obviously that's part of the barefoot journey if you can get that then that is kind of helpful but I find from my experience within the she's on the money community those buckets and the percentages just don't work for our community in the same way that they might work for a different generation which doesn't mean they're wrong it just means we might want different things is that where you're finding I guess things starting to come to a grinding halt or like what's prompting you to want different resources? Yeah, I mean, I tried this method or my version of this method because I had a bit of an ego. So I kind of half did it

and it just wasn't working. I wasn't seeing results for me. And then I went through a pretty rough relationship where I just used all my buckets because I thought that, you know, if there's still money coming through the door I can just replenish the bucket if that makes sense like next fortnight I'll just you know cover what I took out of that bucket and it'll all be okay and how did that end up impacting your decision to move back in financially things weren't going well can you tell me a bit more about that and I guess how that plays into your money story yeah of course so when I left that relationship I moved into an apartment on my own and I thought okay great finally I'm not tied to that anymore I can save I can have full autonomy of my my money

and you know I lived there for a year and I just found out very quickly that I was spending a lot of money to kind of instantly satisfy myself and that instant gratification and that I actually wasn't saving very much at all in fact very little and I was looking at the rent prices and like I could afford $150 extra than what I was paying before but should I like that was the question and so yeah I had a chat with my parents and just decided that it'd be best if I you know move back home have have a bit of time to settle and really re-evaluate what I want to do what are my goals? Those big questions. I love that. Can you tell me a little bit more about what you do for work and how much money you earn? I know you dropped just before. I work in a bank, but

I'm going to need more than that, babe. Of course, of course. So I'm a credit risk analyst for a bank and I earn about $82,000 plus a bonus once a year. And that's depending on performance. oh how good's that what does a bonus often look like is that like a thousand dollars or is it you know more than that or is it like 50 bucks and a gift card and you know because they're different levels my friend fair fair i'd say it's between a thousand to ten thousand pre-tax before oh very nice just depending on performance of the company and your performance and stuff like that yeah Yeah, exactly right. How fun. All right. I want to know, obviously you've moved back in with your parents to like reestablish your goals and work out what you're actually going to do and what

is important to you, but do you have a big money goal? If so, what is it? What are we working towards? Yeah. So probably in the short term paying for dental work, that's expensive. So saving up for a lot of dental work that I've wanted to get done for ages and doing a bit of travel as well. But long-term, we're still in the discovery phase of what I want to achieve. So watch this space. I love that. Dental work is honestly so expensive. Like, I feel like people look at me and they go, Victoria, you wouldn't have needed significant dental work. But I did, and it cost literally tens of thousands of dollars. And I'm still looking in the mirror being like kind of same though like I don't know where we're going with this it's so expensive

is this something that's going to cost you two or ten or twenty grand what are we saving up for here I'm estimating around seven at the moment yeah it's so expensive and I don't know how much I'm going to get back on from like private health cover but yeah saving for that it all adds up all right I've got heaps of questions let's go to a really quick break and on the flip side I want to know about your investments. I want to know about debt. I want to know about best and worst money habits. Guys, don't go anywhere. All right, Money Diarist, we are back and I am really enjoying this. I feel like I can really connect with you because the second you said, I have an accountant as a dad and he's obsessed with spreadsheets. I was like, yeah, babe, same,

same. Like if anything happens in my life, my dad's like, oh yeah, we can make a spreadsheet for that. That's no worries. Like we can work it out. I talk about my house rentals. He's like, oh, can I see the spreadsheet for that? I talk about, you know, potentially having babies. He's like, are you tracking all of that? Yeah, of course I am. Don't worry, dad. Don't worry. I've got you. So I want to know about investments. If you grew up in a barefoot investor household, you would know that Scotty Pape loves a bit of an index fund. Are you investing? If so, what in? If not, what are your thoughts? I'm actually not currently investing at the moment, and it's probably for a reason that not many people would experience. With my job, we're actually considered

privileged in terms of information. So if anyone doesn't really know what that means, it means that the information that I get to hear is quite influential in terms of the stock market. so anything that I invest in if I invest in something a bit sus it could be considered inside trading which is very bad so the reason I haven't invested yet is because all of my investments would be tracked and I'd actually have to get approval from HR before I do anything so it's like another barrier for investing it's not because I don't want to it's just because I don't want to go through that process. That's absolutely fair. I have had a couple of friends in that situation and I found that their favorite way of, I won't say getting out of it, but just

circumventing how complex that can be is going with an ETF or a managed fund or something where it's kind of the decision making process is out of your hands. It's not you going and buying individual shares. But if you want to have a coffee and a chat later and you want to tell me all of the top secret information that you have I'm so down for that and I promise I'll cross my fingers and put them under the table now I won't do anything with the information it might be the last coffee I have Victoria I mean maybe worth it for me I kid I kid I want to know about debt now tell me are you in debt if so what for and if not have you been in debt before uh yeah I did have a car loan which I paid off about a year ago so that was seven grand I was really happy when I did that

such an accomplishment it feels good hey the second you get rid of it you're like yes and I can finally appreciate my car as well it doesn't feel like a debt when you get into it you're like not feeling as though oh this is lording over me yeah yeah um but other than that I just have my HECS debt remaining, which is $32,000. And is this because you grew up in a household where debt was not something that you took on or is this just, you know, it never came up? Or I want to know a bit more about, I guess, the decision-making process because as you said before, you were like, oh, I have, you were acknowledging I have so many resources and I'm really privileged and I feel like that's an epic position to be in. But I also have a sneaky feeling that means you

knew about debt before it could get you? Yeah, I mean, I feel okay about debt, but in the right way. I know that if I had a credit card, I would spend all that money. I just know that about myself now. And I've seen others in my circle of influence who've, you know, had access to debt and really it does not end well for them. So I'm a little bit apprehensive when it comes to loans now. I really consider every option before going down the debt route just because I've seen how bad it can get with some of my friends. Yeah, it's crazy. All right. I want to know because I feel like you've given some pretty good money habits thus far. What do you think your best money habit is? Oh, yeah. My best money habit is I don't do cash. You don't do cash? I don't do cash.

and what happens is if I'm say I shouted my mate a coffee and she hands me a five dollar note as you know payment I won't use that five dollar note I'll just put it in a little piggy bank that I have at home and I'll just cover the cost of that coffee and then what do you do with the money in a piggy bank though I need to know there's so many questions they're not answered it's just an emergency fund it's just I let it sit there if it gets to about five hundred dollars I'll put it in the bank. Oh, how good. Yeah. And how often does that happen? Like how often are you collecting cash that you refuse to spend? I'd say like probably once a month. I mean, it comes and goes like Christmas time when I have say cash from the grandparents. Yeah. That adds

up quickly. Yeah, exactly. Or if I'm selling something on marketplace, you'll get handed cash and yeah, I just, I don't use it and I'll cover the cost. I love that. I wish you could teach me that as a habit. I have this massive toxic trait where if someone hands me cash, I'm like, that's free money. That's free money. I don't have it. And if I spend it, my bank account does not go down. $20 on fishbowl. Yep. That's fine. It was free. That's absolutely fine. I'm shouting everybody coffees. Yeah. If I have cash, I will literally waste it. So if you give me cash, it's like the most toxic thing ever. I would never work well on those envelope systems that people have because I'd be like, well, now I've just got a heap of envelopes full of free money.

I'm just going to spend it. Useless. Absolutely useless. That's my toxic trait, but I need to know yours. What is your worst money habit, my friend? My toxic trait is definitely that instant gratification spending. I get so excited if I find one pair of pants, I have to buy three. If there's a 50% off sale, I have to spend $400 it's bad but I'm getting better and I at least can identify that it's bad spending and now I'm slowly trying to reduce that I feel like I can really relate to you if there is something that I love like you said before a pair of pants and they come in other colors I'll convince myself I need them even if I don't wear those colors oh yeah I'll be like these are the

best pants in the entire world you know what they'll be better in beige stunning oh my gosh I love that so much I feel like I have learned a heap about you and what you've gone through and I kind of love that you grew up as a barefoot investor kid but you're also like I still am not sure what is going on when it comes to money I want to know now at the start of this you told me that you were a bee you said I rate my money habits a bee but then I feel like you've just got this epic amount of self-reflection and you've been able to put you know you said you had an ego. I have not picked up on that at all. Maybe I think you're just deciding that you've got an ego because if anyone in this conversation has an ego, babe, it's me. Sorry. And there's not enough

room in this conversation for both of us to have one. But I feel like you've just gone through so many good money habits and talking about debt and having only had your car loan, but paying that off and this massive decision to move back in with your parents. Because even though that can be a massive struggle. It's obviously, you know, a step backwards to go two, three, five, 10 steps forwards in the future. And even though you're not super clear on what your big money goal is right now, I feel like whatever it is, is going to be so much more achievable now because of the past work that you've done. Do you think now having had this conversation that you're a B when it comes to money? I think maybe a B plus. I think you have inflated my ego, even if you're not

picking up on it thank you very much you're welcome you're welcome you're all day queen supporting queens thank you yeah I think maybe a b plus like I said I still I'm in a very discovery phase of what I'm trying to achieve and at least now that I have the breathing space to figure that out the grade will go up I definitely believe the grade will go up in the foreseeable future what steps do you think you would have to take to get to an a plus what would that actually look like is that more around goal setting or is that more around I guess actual financial change yeah I definitely want to unlearn my spending behaviors because right now it's still very much that instant gratification so I'm in the process of unlearning that and learning to not get that

excitement of purchasing things and getting really excited for two seconds so that definitely and also having a long term savings goal. I have some short term ones, but having like smart long term goals. Love. All right. Oh, my gosh. Unfortunately, that is all we have time for today. But Money Diarist, it has been an absolute pleasure getting to know you and learn a little bit more about your story. I feel like it might give some other people a lot of permission to maybe make similar decisions that put themselves in the best possible financial position, even if it means putting your ego aside for a moment. Yeah, definitely. Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks, Victoria. The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your

individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289. Thanks for watching!