She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Starting All Over Again...& Again!

Episode Date: July 9, 2023

Having travelled a lot in her 20s, this Money Diarist moved overseas and into a bad relationship right before covid hit! She lost her job and took out her super to get out of the situation, and had to start again, and then again! She made her way back home, and into a new career (and love). One year later, and she's just settled on her new home with her partner and wants to share her stop and start story with the community.  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to my favorite episode of the week, Money Diaries, where I get the chance to talk to one of our amazing She's on the Money community members all about their story and about their money journey. And it is my favorite part of every week, I kid you not. Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message and it sounded a lot like this because I'm going to read it to you. Hi V, I travelled a lot in my 20s and moved overseas in 2019, sadly, to an emotionally abusive relationship right before COVID hit. Then I lost my job, I took my super out to get out of that situation and had to start again multiple times while overseas. I moved back to Australia

in April 2022 and one year later, my partner and I have just bought a house. Money Diarist, I'm so excited to have you here. Are you ready to do a money diary? Definitely, yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, let's jump straight into it. As always, I want to know up front, what would you rate your money habits if I asked you to rate your habits on a scale of A through to F?

Probably a B, I think. A B. I like that. Let's learn a little bit more. My favorite, favorite question. Money Diaries, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story? Yeah. So growing up, we didn't really talk too much about money. When I got a job when I was 15, my mum made sure that we knew, you know, to save, but it wasn't like we didn't have like budgets or anything like that. It was just, you have to save, you have to save, you have to save. And me being

a teenager, I kind of ignored that and I spent most of my money. Like any good teenager does. Exactly. Parents don't know anything when you're a teenager. I know. Shocking. Yeah. And I mean, skip forward 15 years and she's gone guarantor for us, which is amazing. Oh, so she trusts you now. Yeah. Yeah. She trusts me now. See mum, what you worry about, honestly. I know. So tell me a little bit more about growing up. What was money like? Obviously you didn't listen, but what did that end up looking like? Yeah. So, I mean, as far as sort of I was aware, we never really struggled. Like I knew that when

we sold our family home, like when mum sold it after my parents got divorced, it was probably a good seven, eight years after that. She sold the house because if she were to keep paying that mortgage, she wouldn't have a life. So she made the decision to sell the bigger house and build a new house not too far away. I like that. I feel like that's the type of compromise that sometimes a lot of people don't want to make because that would have been a hard decision, right? Definitely. Like that's something that a lot of pride would have ridden on that decision,

but she's obviously made the right one for her. What does life look like now? Is she happier and healthier and thriving? Oh, definitely. Yeah. She is thriving and all my friends think she's the coolest. Oh, we love that. Now that I'm 27, I think she's the coolest too, so. It just takes a little bit of convincing, right? Exactly. Yeah. Asked me 10 years ago and that's not the case. No, absolutely not. Mums can't be cool when you're a 17-year-old. Absolutely not.

Yeah. And now she's doing quite well and she's got not much mortgage left, obviously in the position to go guarantor for myself and my partner. Yeah. So yeah, she's doing well and she's thriving and yeah, she lives on her own and she always says, I'll never live with anyone else. I love that. I feel like that's a vibe. Get it, mum. Yep. Exactly. All right. I need to know, what do you do for work and how much money do you earn? I am a sales support assistant for a custom clothing company and I make 63k a year plus super and plus 5k commission a year. What does that mean? What's a sales support

assistant? Can you tell me a little bit more about your day to day? I'm super interested. It's a lot of customer service. So we have our sales team who will get the sale and then set up an order and we do a lot of like custom clothes for year 12s and like groups like that. So it's like a bulk like a bigger order someone's not just buying one thing they're buying multiple. Yeah yes. Okay that makes more sense I was like what does a support officer do in this like in this world? Once the sales locked in and the order is open then we provide that support to the customer so then the sales team can continue getting more sales. Yeah cool do you enjoy it? How did you get into this line of work? Yeah, so I really enjoy it. I was just looking

on SEEK one day and I applied for some jobs. I was about to go back to the UK for a month and while I was sitting in the airport on my way there, I got a phone call from the recruitment person. Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm sitting in the airport at the moment, but I'm happy to do virtual interviews. And she was like, yes, that's not a problem. We can do virtual interviews because so many of us are based from home. So, the time that I was in the UK for a month, I was interviewing for this position. Oh, how good. Yeah. And then by the time I got back, I had a job lined up for when I got back, which was great. Money win. I love that. Yeah, absolutely.

So, I want to know next, what's your big money goal? What are we currently working towards? Currently, we're working towards trying to take mum off our mortgage as guarantor up until sort of March, April, we were aiming to buy a house and then we achieved that, which is great. And yeah, our next big goal is to increase that equity in our house to then be able to get mum off the loan. I'm so pervy. I'm going to ask about all of your house questions right after this. Let's go to a really quick break. Don't go anywhere. All right, guys, we are back and let's dive right back in. You have just purchased your first home with your partner and I am so pervy. I want to know how you've done that. I feel like I know because you mentioned that one of your big money

goals was to get your mum off as a guarantor. But can you talk me through a little bit more of that process and what that looks like and how it works? Because I'm just so interested to know how somebody in your salary bracket who has just returned from overseas has managed to either save a deposit or like swindle their way into a property. I feel like this is going to be a very exciting story to learn from. Yeah. So pretty much from when my partner and I met, both of our goals was once I settled back down into Australia was to buy a house. So it just made sense to start saving for that straight away. I gave Kate a call from Zella. Great decision. Honestly, one of your best. Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Yeah. So I gave Kate a call and she was telling me about how we

only need a 5% deposit. And then she was sort of helping us work out roughly what we can borrow and what sort of deposit plus purchasing costs we would need for that. So we started saving like crazy. And we were living with his mum at the time. So paying rent, saving, we didn't have a lot left over, but we still lived pretty comfortably for ourselves. We got to do the things that we wanted to do. We've been to a lot of events in the last year as well, like concerts and like a festival and stuff like that, which has been really nice. We've still sort of allowed ourselves to live a bit while being a little bit restrictive just to try and save as much as we could. And then it turned out that mum was in a position to go guarantor for us. I had that

discussion with her back in March. Money win. Yeah, absolutely. Because then we were able to borrow 100% of our purchase price, which meant all of our savings was able to go to furnishing the house, to renovating the house because we bought a 30-year-old house. So we painted, we've got the floors replaced. We still want to get the kitchen and bathroom done, but it's a whole new house. Everyone who sees it now, they're just like, wow, this is a new house. Oh, I love that so much. And I feel like obviously we have to acknowledge that borrowing 100% of the purchase price can be a little bit risky and Kate would have taken you through that, but it can also be relatively liberating. If you're like, no, I know I'm

going to be here for the long term and this is going to work really well for me, it actually can free you up a fair bit financially. Did you, when you, I guess, started the conversation with Kate, know where that was going? Or did you think that that was a big possibility for you in the near future? Or did you think it was going to take way longer? Or what did that look like? I thought it was probably going to take a bit longer, obviously, because we planned on saving for a 5% deposit. When it turned out that we didn't need to necessarily, it took about probably a year or two less than what I thought it would but yeah so talking through it with Kate I just sort of had an idea of what number we had to sort of get up to and yeah we had a plan to get up to

that number while also living our lives so it was you know rough idea of like a year or two but the end goal was obviously to get into a house as soon as possible and one that also met our needs so because we were living with my partner's mum we were quite comfortable so we were happy to to wait for something that met our needs, but we actually got very lucky. And it was the second house that we viewed, but the first house that we viewed together. So the first house, I just went by myself because my partner works at a place that's not home. I work at home. So I have a lot more flexibility. So yeah, but it was the first place that we saw together. Oh my gosh. I love that. That's such a good journey and such a good story.

I'm going to ask about it in a hot second. I want to know now, do you have any investments? If so, what are they? If not, do you want to invest? I have a Sharesies account and I have a Raise account as well. I haven't really looked too far into them. It's been a very busy few months. Understandably so. Yeah. I do plan to sort of get more into those and sort of start with the micro-investing roundups with Raise and then maybe get sort of more in-depth with Sharesies in the near future as well. How fun. All right. We're back on the house content because I just can't leave it alone. I want to know about your debts. So do you have any debts? If so, what are they? So the only debt we have is the mortgage. And what is that sitting at? That's currently

sitting at $570,000, which was the purchase price we settled about three weeks ago. Oh my gosh, that's so soon. How good. Have you moved in? You've moved in and you're like living in there and renovating it. What has been your favorite part? Probably walking in after it was painted and the floors were done. That was great. Crisp, right? Crisp and fresh and feels like yours finally. Absolutely. But we currently don't have doors. Oh, you don't need doors. Yeah, exactly. We don't need doors. At the moment, I don't even have running water in my house that I'm meant to be living in. So like we don't even need that. And I'm still planning on moving in very soon. So it's fine. It's fine. You can just be in love with a house. It's absolutely okay. Exactly.

Have you had your first mortgage payment? Not yet. That comes out at the start of next month. Oh, scary. What is that going to set you back, do you think, each and every single month? So at the moment, it's sitting at $3,250 a month. But I believe after the increase this month, that's going to go up again. Yes, probably.

And how do you feel about that? How does that slot into your budget? It slots in okay. we did allow, when we were talking to Kate, we allowed, you know, for an extra couple of increases. We were talking to Kate and we ended up going to sort of the max of our budget because of the increasing house prices again. So they started to sort of drop and then they started to go up again. So we're still able to stick within our budget and not have to postpone purchasing because we did have to go to that maximum amount. But yeah, we also did budget

it for that. And obviously the house comes first for us. You know, if things do get a little bit too much, then we will need to compromise in other spaces. But yeah. I like that you've already thought about that. I feel like it's not that common to go through that home buying process and hear people say, oh, well, actually we're factored in for the next few rate rises and we should be okay. And these are our priorities and this is what it's going to look like. Does that make you feel a little bit more calm? Like I feel like you're a relatively calm home Mona, given a lot of people at the moment are completely freaking out about the interest rate rises? Yeah, I mean, it does make me feel a bit more calm just because we've planned for

these things. And my partner and I are on the same page as well. So, you know, if things go up too much, then it's like, okay, we're going to have to, like he might have to sell one of his three cars or... Three cars? All right. Well, you've opened that can of worms. What does he do for himself he's a mechanic oh okay this this story checks out very seriously yep so yeah we do have plans in place for if you know if it becomes too much or and you know obviously the very last case is to sell the house if it was to come to that but that's worst case scenario like that would be the very last thing that we would ever want to do yeah of course well it's nice to know that you've gone in I guess with your eyes open and you understand the process

because I think sometimes a mortgage can be all consuming and people often don't think about what life looks like after you've got that mortgage. You just go, oh my gosh, like this is the most exciting thing ever. And then you realize that maybe you did bite off more than you can chew and that you're not in the best possible position, but it sounds like you guys have it covered. And that makes me so excited. I'm assuming you're pretty good at money. Like you at the end of the day have just bought a house. Like I feel like your money story leans towards you making some savvy decisions. Tell me a little bit more about what you think your best money habit is. My best money habit is probably using the She's on the Money budget template

because it just helps me see exactly where my money is. And I know exactly where my money is all the time. And I have automated all my payments. I don't even have to every week transfer money. It just automatically comes out, which is great. Every payday, it's gone and then hey I have this much left over which is awesome. Oh my gosh I want to just roll all the way back to the letter that you wrote me which was very very nice but in it you mentioned that you moved overseas sadly to an emotionally abusive relationship right before COVID hit so I feel like this is a glow up like this is from one thing to another what was your experience going through that? Is this a reality that you saw happening for you? Is this something where

you were like, oh my gosh, no, of course, Victoria, I was always super positive through this because if it was an emotionally abusive relationship, I'm assuming it kind of got you down a fair bit. So how, my friend, did you get through this? Because your story is relatively inspirational and I look at it and go, oh my gosh, how did she do this? And then come out the end looking super shiny, super amazing and like absolutely living her best life. Yeah. So I always sort of wanted to move to the UK to experience living overseas and I'm a dual citizen. So it was nice and easy for me to do, which was nice. But when I went to visit my friend who lives in the UK, I met her brother and then that's when we sort of started talking,

got into a relationship and I ended up moving over there to their hometown. So I had no family and friends around me in person except for his two sisters and pretty quickly it was obviously it was very stressful moving over there with no support around me in person but I had a lot of support around me you know over the phone and stuff like that yeah of course yeah so it very quickly he started picking fights with me it seemed that you know he wasn't very empathetic to my stress and it was very easy to upset me and trigger me into like fights and that sort of thing so he would start arguments and then he would go and complain to his family about how awful I was and saying that I'm just picking fights and being angry at him for no reason

and one time it was very lucky for me that he actually did it right in front of his older sister and then I ended up leaving this is at her house so I ended up leaving her house I was like I'm not doing this right now not here not right now I'm leaving see you when you get home sort of thing yeah and then I messaged her later on I'm like I'm so sorry like obviously I didn't want to up and leave like that spending time with you was obviously our priority for that time and like that happened and she's like no I can actually see what's going on now and oh it's awful that you have to do that but like it's kind of good that they got to see it from your perspective exactly I thought you were going to tell me that his whole family were going to be

against you because you know anyone messes with my sister oh you've got another thing coming I'm the only one that's allowed to mess with her exactly so I genuinely assumed that you were going to tell me oh no they didn't see it and I was all alone so what happened next yeah so next COVID hit so I had got a job in the February and I was I started that job in March at the very start of March that was the day that Italy went into lockdown yeah a week later we lost our jobs so it was in the travel industry oh my gosh oh my gosh like the first to go yes kick you while you're down oh yeah 100% yeah so I worked for Flight Centre for four years before I moved to the UK. So going back into the travel industry was suitable and easy. Yeah. So, and then obviously

COVID happened and we went into lockdown after I lost my job and he was very unsympathetic about me losing my job as well. So two days after it, I was still quite upset and his words were, I thought you'd be over it by now. I lost my job and you're a piece of trash. So why would I be over this. Exactly. Yeah. And getting that job, it was like, okay, great. Now I can make a plan to leave. Now I can look at my own place. Oh, now you're not tired because you don't feel bad quitting a job that you'd started so soon. Yeah. So I was able to, I was, I was thinking I was going to be able to move out into my own flat, leave him and, and all that. And then when I lost that job, it was like, oh, I'm stuck again. That was your freedom. Yeah. It was my freedom. And

then I was stuck in the flat with him for all of the first lockdown luckily he worked in like a freight distribution warehouse so he didn't lose work at all which was great because it meant I got some time without him in lockdown yeah and he wasn't home 24 7 exactly yeah so that was definitely a bit of a relief but yeah and then during lockdown he would do like little things that would just built up. Like for example, in the kitchen, we had one of those bins that you like press down and it clicks in. Oh yeah. Yeah. So he would never close that bin and it stunk out the whole one bedroom apartment because it's such a small apartment and it's a kitchen bin, they smell. And then when I said something, he would just try and convince me that the bin was broken,

which obviously it wasn't because I was having no problems closing it. Sir, you are trying to gaslight me and you're not even doing a good job. Exactly. Yeah. So he, that was just one of the examples of him gaslighting me. And then one time I saw him not close the bin, like he opened it, put something in it and then walked away. And I was like, ah. And it's always the small things that break the camel's back, right? Exactly. Like there's obviously way bigger issues in your relationship than the bin. because I promise you if it was just the bin then we've got a big problem but you just know it's not the bin like this is manifesting and coming out in the frustration and like it's all small things

that they know they could fix or that anybody could fix but they're just choosing not to exactly you're watching he 100% knew exactly and yeah he swore black and blue like he could have sworn on someone's life that he closed that bin and I saw it with my own eyes that he did not so sir sit down yeah the gaslighting was just next level he needs some training in gaslighting like do it properly if you're gonna do it at all sir i know exactly oh my gosh i'm so sorry you went through that because it would have been emotionally and mentally draining it would have just beat you while you were down like you'd already felt a bit trashy because you'd lost your job and covid and you're away from your family and friends and like it's just not it's

kind of like a storm right in a teacup where it's just like my entire world doesn't make sense exactly yeah so I was stuck in that cycle until about June July when we were allowed out and luckily my dad lives in the UK as well so oh my gosh how good yeah yeah so he lived a couple of hours away from where I lived but once the first lockdown ended we were able to rent cars again and vans so I got him to rent a van to come pick me up and then I that was the second time in six months that I started all over again and I went and lived in London. Oh my gosh so what happened when you moved in with your dad was it all up from there? Pretty much yeah so I mean there was definitely rocky when I was in London but it was it was two years of living in a different country

I lived with my dad for six weeks and then I moved into the city by myself and I moved I think three or four times within a year or two. London life. Yep, exactly. So that was a bit painful, but you know, it was good. I had some steady work. I was working in schools as a teaching assistant and a mentor. So that was really nice. I really liked that. And yeah, and then I ended up moving home. Oh, how good. And can I be real sneaky and cheeky? I want to know, how'd you meet your current partner? Like when does he come into the mix? Yeah. So he comes into the mix in February of 2022. So while I was in the UK, unfortunately I lost my cousin to suicide. I'm so sorry you went through that. Thank you. I decided to fly home for her funeral and to be with my family,

obviously because I needed that support. I didn't want to sort of be by myself. I obviously had friends and family over there, but it wasn't the right side of the family. And it was, you know, being there and being able to lean on all my family and have them lean on me and everything was good. And then while I was in Australia on that trip, I went to visit one of my auntie and uncles and he used to be their neighbor. So they were friends and he was there for my auntie's birthday. And then my mom and my auntie were plotting how to set us up. Oh my gosh, they knew. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. But I thought I'd just beat them to it. So I added him on socials and then we started talking a few days later. I'll do this myself, mum. I don't need you.

Exactly. Because I know how embarrassing these two are just by themselves, let alone together. Oh, he knows. He lived next door, babe. He already knew. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, you know what? I'm not letting this happen. I'll do it myself. I love that so much. That's a really wholesome story. And now you've bought a house together and you're renovating it, that makes me so happy to know that you're in such a better place. Yeah, absolutely. I ended up extending my trip for an extra week than I planned. So we spent sort of the next two, three weeks together before I went back to the UK. And straight away, it was, I was supposed to be in the UK for another six months, but straight away he was like,

yeah, it's fine. We'll do long distance. I'll be waiting here for you when you get back. Oh my gosh, what a honey. Yeah. So, and I lasted one week until I booked a flight for a month later. I love that so much. You're like, I am a strong, independent woman, unless I'm in love. Exactly. In which case, don't listen to me. I love that so much. It makes my heart so happy hearing people's love stories. So I was like, tell me about that part because I feel like that part will be really cute. Oh my gosh. And now

you're building a little life together. What's next? What's next is continuing the renovations. Yeah. And sort of getting the property up to what we need it to be. He wants to put a big shed on the property. So it's got a decent backyard and front yard. How good. Oh my gosh. I love that so much. That was essentially your answer to what is your best money habit. So I guess I now should ask you what's your worst money habit. And I promise everybody it's not going to be as long winded. So what do you reckon your worst money habit is? My worst money habit is probably, I can be quite impulsive. So if I want something, I'll generally hyper fixate on it and I won't like weigh up the pros and cons necessarily.

I will just hyper fixate on it until I press add to cart and checkout. That's actually quite funny. Are you putting 24 hours between you and your spending? It might be an hour. It might be a week. Oh, but it's still hyper fixated and we're still going to do this regardless. Exactly. yeah I just I figure out ways to justify it regardless of how long it takes you'll just spend a week justifying it and do it anyway exactly oh my gosh I'm gonna say I love that but I don't because it's obviously not great but at the same time I love that you're self-aware about that and it clearly makes you happy exactly exactly all right well unfortunately that is all we have time for today it has been beautiful money diarist learning about your story and

sharing some really important tips and tricks. And I think that apart from the fact that it's so cool to know that you got into your first home using Zella money, obviously I'm very biased. I also think it's just such a nice story to share because there are going to be people listening to this that are in not so great relationships or situations that they want to get out of. And knowing that not only have you gotten out of it, you have had an absolute glow up and you are living your best life. It makes me so happy knowing that you have a job that you love and you've moved into your house and you're renovating it and you have this partner that you're in love with. And it's just, it's such a nice story to share because I think that being able to see that

puts a light at the end of the tunnel for a lot of people. So I really appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. I'm really glad that I could share my story and hopefully inspire someone to leave that situation if they're in it. There's a lot of support, especially around on social media. so many of these groups that I'm in as well they really helped sort of put things into perspective so yeah really nice just communities around in girls groups and they've been really really helpful as well. Oh my gosh I love that so much thank you so much for sharing so much time with me I really appreciate it. Of course thank you so much for having me. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your

individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.