She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: Takin' Care of Business

Episode Date: May 30, 2021

Happy Monday cupcakes! We want to start your week off RIGHT with an incredible story of tenacity and true grit. We love Money Diaries every Monday, and this one is absolutely no exception. Thankyou for sharing your story with our community xOur very own money wizard and fearless leader Victoria Devine has written a book! Click here to order!Love the pod but looking for a more hands-on approach to your money? Look no further. Our budgeting & cash flow masterclass is the tool you need to help overhaul your finances for good. Join Victoria as she steps you through your budgeting and cash flow with all of the smarts and none of the intimidating jargon. Finally, if you're in a money mess and need help untangling the muddle - we've got you sorted - simply record your question and send it through to us at [e-mail] and you may just end up on the podcast! The advice shared on She’s on The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She’s on The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. Victoria Devine is an Authorised Representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN 34 132 463 257 - AFSL 339151.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Toni Lodge and joining me as always is Miss Victoria Devine. Hello. Welcome. um so today's money diary obviously as always you haven't read the email you don't know anything

about them it's so frustrating i know but and i think that people think it's a lie but genuinely you've got no idea what's coming but i really like this one i think you're gonna like it all right can you please read me the email so i can get across it before we give her a buzz okay hi there hope you're doing well how polite isn't that nice i'm a 26 year old girl and i've had a bit of an unconventional upbringing. I'd be happy to share my money story as I'm honestly obsessed with your podcast, which we love. We're obsessed with it too. Low key, got tickets on ourselves. I moved out of home when I was 17 years old. I had no savings and was planning to study in Sydney. I'm from five hours outside of Sydney. I didn't have a great home life, so I wanted to

get as far away as possible. I'd been working since 14 and nine months to the day, but had really poor savings habits as I was taught to live outside my means and put things on credit. I got myself into significant personal debt, $24,000. It took me a couple of years to pay it back and now I have approximately $32,000 in my bank account. I didn't even end up using the degree I went to Sydney to study. I'm an open book and happy to share anything. I had some really dark times growing up feeling very alone and unsure how i could make ends meet so if this may help or inspire someone then it would mean a lot to me oh oh my gosh that's so sweet our community is so sweet let's get her on the phone tony so we've got our money diarist on the line

right now hello money diarist hi thank you so much for choosing my money diary oh my gosh sharing your story with us we are so excited about this money diaries are literally one of my favorite things and the fact that our community and you are so willing to share stories to help our community grow and learn is it's just so special. So how about we jump straight into our standard questions because I want to learn so much about you and I want to get straight into it. Is that okay? That sounds great. All right. As always, the first question is what is your attitude towards money? So growing up I would probably describe myself as having a bit of a flippant attitude towards money. My mum always taught me that like money is just money it can be replaced but there

might be an expiry date on a sale or an experience that is irreplaceable. So I think that really encouraged me to kind of live outside of my means. I got my first job at 14 in nine months and I started working a second job as well when I was 15 so I kind of always had enough money like I could buy what I wanted when I wanted to so I think that also maybe encouraged me a little bit never to plan for the future. My mum also didn't really see a problem with loans so she would encourage me to take loans off of her and then she would just put it on the credit card and I was always aware that you had to pay credit card loans back like my mum would go a little bit crazy when we were overdue and I'd know I just need to pick up a few extra shifts to pay back my portion.

But I was never too concerned because I don't think I really ever had a proper understanding of the repercussions of bad debt. So I wouldn't say I didn't understand the value of money because I always like worked for everything, but I guess I was just a bit naive about money and especially like repercussions of debt. Now, I would say I have quite an anxious attitude towards money. I constantly feel like it might just dry up at any time and that I'll be left with nothing. So, I would say I'm still on the way to having a really positive relationship with money. I still get quite nervous and anxious when I think about it too much. Ah, that's so common. I feel like sometimes if you've been in this mindset of not understanding

like money to the depth that you would want to and then you start to it does give you mad anxiety and we don't want that we're going to work through that. So next question is what do you do for work and how much do you earn money diarist? Yeah so at the moment I'm on a very variable income I work as a waitress slash bartender and I do private parties and functions so bookings can be requested clothed which is 60 an hour in laundry or swimwear which is 80 an hour um topless which is 100 an hour or nude which is 200 an hour um that is not the type of waitressing i thought you were going to be i'm so excited that's amazing i love that and for those of you playing along at home our money diarist is actually on video with us today i can see why they would want

that I can see why you'd make good money with that you're way too cut you're way too generous today it is not I'm not wrong um so yeah like depending how many bookings I get depends on my income for the week um but since at the moment I'm only working Fridays and Saturdays because I'm actually back studying part-time at the moment um I usually try to aim to make around 1500 a week before tax and super but obviously due to the nature of my work sometimes my income can be a little or even like radically more or less than the $1,500 a week mark especially because it's seasonal work but I guess that's just like what I aim for each week. Absolutely and how did COVID impact your ability to earn an income in this space? Oh my gosh COVID was literally a nightmare. I was really

fortunate that I had kind of sought um finance not financial advice but I had it I was always taxing my money before all of this happened so I had a history of it which yeah which meant that because I was self-employed I could actually get on JobKeeper so I was on JobKeeper the whole time yeah so I was super lucky but like the majority of my friends were just not in that position and it was a really stressful time but also for me at the time like I was kind of I'd got onto this bigger income but I was just a victim of lifestyle creeps so I was paying like $450 a week on rent and like JobKeeper covered the essentials and then everything else like I was just using savings for which was like not an ideal situation I've definitely learned from a worldwide pandemic

absolutely I actually have a few friends who do the same job as you and some of them do it on the side of another job and they definitely aren't low-key they aren't paying tax on it so I'm really grateful that you were in a position where you were I guess smart enough to make sure that you were taxing it and putting it into super and looking after yourself because that obviously meant that during COVID you had an income which is literally priceless yeah absolutely I think it's definitely like outweighed any amount I would have paid on tax the amount that I got back so yeah this is definitely worth it that's a money win if ever I heard one all right what what is your big money goal that you're currently working towards at the moment um I think like every money

diarist my big money goal is to buy a house um it was actually yeah it was actually to buy an apartment for so long like I don't know why I just see myself in an apartment but I have listened to all of your podcasts and I know that that would be a very questionable investment so yeah I think just a small house not necessarily you'll have to listen to the property playbook so we can guide you through that journey as well yes please I'm up to date at the moment but I'm waiting for the episodes to come out oh my god we've met our biggest fan oh my gosh you are so kind I'm so all right all right next question do you currently invest um no I don't have any investments and I don't currently invest I am super keen to though um and it was in my financial plan like a plan

I've made for myself um to seek proper financial advice this year by like around the 15th of July I would have like had the money for it um approximately approximately the 15th of July yeah I'm very specific I like but um yeah obviously like you just announced your platform and now I'm kind of thinking maybe that would be a better option because I listened to like the podcast about it that said until you hit like 200,000 and I definitely don't have that much so I think maybe I might like be starting there instead of like seeking proper financial advice. Yeah, absolutely. It's definitely only investment advice, but I think it's a really big hurdle to expect people to come up with like $3,000 to $6,000 or $3,000 to $7,000, sorry,

to get investment advice. And, you know, when you're young, that seven grand is so much money that could be invested. And it was just, you know, it's not micro investing, it's the next step. And I think that it's a really good option for people who are in a position where they want to invest, but they're not willing to, you know, put three grand up because often that's what we're, you know, starting with. Yeah, I think like finding the right financial advisor can be so hard as well. Like a couple of years ago, I actually tried to find one and I thought I'd found a really good one.

And I went in and I felt like as soon as I started talking to him and he was asking me about my income and I was explaining like, you know, I work at the time I was working in a strip club and um like I was explaining to him my earning capacity I guess you could say um because I was doing it full-time and he was like well how much do you earn and I was like well I guess however much I want to earn as hard as I work basically and he was just like okay then well like you know I I can give you a document it's going to cost you over 10 grand and he said it will be around 11 000 and I just felt like he was taking me for a ride and I ended up kind of saying no and then he was like oh I think I could do one for two thousand dollars for you and I was like

that's such a significant price I'm like yeah I just felt like he was like taking advantage of me and I like never never sought financial advice again after that and then yeah and then I like found this podcast and that's when I started like reconsidering it again but like before that I kind of felt like I was like oh I'll never go I'll never seek financial advice like you know they live up to their reputation is like how I felt in that moment that breaks my heart because our industry does have some bad eggs who are not doing the right thing. And it really upsets me because there are so many good advisors out there that just want to put you in a better, better financial position. And the position you're in where you actually have essentially unlimited earning

capacity is really special, especially at a young age. And I actually have a number of clients who work in strip clubs and work in roles like yours. And it's really important to get advice when you're young and doing these roles because unfortunately these roles aren't going to last you till you're 65 there's always that limitation on a career like this where you have to make hay while the sun's shining and invest well and talk to someone who can set you up financially for the long term because often we get blinkers on when we're in roles like this we get blinkers on and we go great the money's so good like I'm fine I can spend when in reality you might want to exit at that industry for whatever reason when you're like 35 and go, well, I want kids now. I want a

different lifestyle. Or you might say, oh, it's just not for me anymore. What am I going to do next? And you really need, like you genuinely need to be having these financial conversations with someone who can say, hey, this is what it looks like. Here's some forward planning. What are we going to do together? So, it breaks my heart that you didn't get that offering because honestly, some of my favorite clients are my strip club clients because they're just fun people to be around like they're missing out they are missing out you didn't my friend it's also another really good example of what we say in the podcast a lot like if you actually connect with someone that you're not comfortable with try and find someone else and try and seek someone else out or chat to

your friends or whatever because it's actually just not worth putting yourself in a position where you're talking about finance which for most people is quite a vulnerable thing to be discussing with basically a complete stranger and if you don't feel that connection it's just not worth putting well putting yourself in that position but paying money to chat with someone about your money that you just don't really connect with yeah I think I like just felt so because like ironically if it were a doctor for example and I didn't like them straight up I would just leave and book an appointment at the next the next doctor like try to go somewhere else and I would feel comfortable to do that but I think I just felt so out of my comfort zone even entering

that space that when I thought it didn't work I was like oh my god it's me like it's not him it's just I'm not right for this like I should I think I just like had never even tried you know asking someone I had no one to ask and then I just felt like I was like oh no it must not be for me like I'm just not right like the right fit to get no that's not the case at all no no no I think that that is absolutely not the case. And it, yeah, as I said before, it really breaks my heart that people are not getting the advice that they deserve and they clearly want because they have one negative experience because you then assume, you know what, I'd heard so much about this industry. I'd heard it was bad and you know what, then my experience was bad. So I'm just going to

work it out myself. And that's not what it should be. Let's go into the next question. And that is, do you currently have any debts? Yes, I do. So I have almost $50,000 in HECS and student startup loans. I'm obviously not on Centrelink anymore, but I was during my last degree and I'm also not finished studying. So that figure is highly consenting. The last two financial years, I actually haven't been paying my super either. So since like 2018, 2019, that financial year, sorry, I've been a sole trader working in strip clubs or privately. And whilst I do bank and pay tax on all of my money, when I was talking to my tax agent, he kind of explained super to me in a way that kind of made it seem optional and unnecessary because it's considered a voluntary

contribution for me as a sole trader. And he kind of explained like maybe my money would be better spent on a house deposit or something so I owe my super about $12,000 for the last two years um currently I've paid back $3,000 and I have a separate like up saver called super with another $7,000 in it um but I still have another $2,000 to save and I should have that saved by the 15th of June um but I like I heard you say on the mini investing series you are so specific I cannot wait to jump into more questions yeah I remember you like saying that if a client came to you with twenty thousand dollars and asked you to invest it then you would like drip feed it into the market slowly so that's what I'm like doing with my super even though I have no idea if that's even

remotely applicable to my situation but that's why I have it like separately saved if that makes sense you are coming for my job I don't know like you know so much more about money than me I don't know if it actually has anything to do with super but I just I don't know I was just trying oh I love that I love that all right what is your best money habit um I think my best money habit is being really motivated and understanding and sticking to my goals um I think that like anyone can do the math to work out how much to save in a certain time frame but I think that having and keeping motivation is what distinguishes someone to actually be able to put that money and keep it away. Because I think when you know your purpose, it's just a lot easier

to sacrifice for the bigger, more longer term goals. So yeah, I think maybe my attitude in that regard. That is so good. And it's something that is really relevant as well, because we can all set goals, but sticking to them is actually the hard part. Yeah, definitely. On the flip side of that what is your worst money habit um my worst money habit is that when I get really bad anxiety I impulse buy um and I always buy things that are like completely unnecessary they're just to make myself feel better like clothing or makeup or skincare they're like my three weaknesses but I'm usually really good like I have a splurge account set aside and I'll only actually buy something I want when I have the money for it but when I get bad anxiety like I like I'll just have

a thousand dollars sitting in a shopping cart and I'm just like trying to convince myself not to buy it well next time that happens you call me and I'll tell you not to buy it oh my god you can just slide into my dms and I'll have a chat with you I'm doing it again sending you screenshots everything I'm trying to buy. All right and if I asked you to give yourself a grade what would you grade your money habits? I think I would give myself a C plus. Oh my god no it needs to be higher than that. I would have been like a triple F minus if you asked me a few years ago um but I feel like I feel like I'm on the road at the moment like I feel like I'm midway like I'm passing now, I know where I want to be. Um, but I still have like, you know, my super debt to pay

off. And I think once that's paid and maybe once I've like started investing and maybe sought some financial advice and I feel like actually know where I'm going. Um, and then I'm still hopefully in credit, like, like in the positive balance. Um, I think that's when I will feel like I'm approaching B to A. I love that. And I really want to ask you some more questions about that, but we're going to do that straight after this quick break. All right, we are back. And I just want to straight off the bat ask you, how did you start working in strip clubs? Where did that come from? How did you make the transition? And I guess, what was your motivation and support in that space?

Yeah. For me, I guess it was like a series of a whole lot of unfortunate events all occurring at the exact same time. So I'll try to start from the start. I'd just finished the first year of my second degree, which is actually the one I'm currently studying now. And it was the summer holidays which like here in Australia we have a four-month break and I moved up from New South Wales up to the Gold Coast to work as a waitress in a strip club so not actually dancing um a friend of mine was actually dancing up there and she told me that I could make a lot in tips if I started waitressing and at the time I'd like spent the last two years working four jobs um so I was working like around the clock seven days a week like 16 to 20 hour days seven days a week so I

was like terrified because I'd never even been in a strip club but it seemed like a more sustainable option than what I was like currently doing um so anyhow I was waitressing five nights a week sometimes six or seven if I got called in and I was paying off so this is also when I was in like that $24,000 worth of debt yeah um I was paying off my debt really quickly because I was on a normal wage from the waitressing so like $700 a week there but then I was making about a thousand a week on top of that in tips wow that's so much money it's pretty crazy like I had no idea that you could make that much um and I managed to almost like completely pay off that $24,000 I think I had like maybe $5,000 left to pay um and that would have equated to about four to five

weeks worth of work because I was banking all of my tip money um and paying off like my debt really quickly but uni was about yeah uni was about to restart in New South Wales and I knew that it would probably take me like one to two years to pay off that money if I had to quit my job and go back to just a normal casual job and so I decided to defer uni but when I did that I decided to finance a brand new car so I got myself into another $17,000 worth of debt in a high interest flown. You were like, I'm making all this money, so it's fine. I know, I know. And I'm so mortified like retelling this story. Don't be mortified. It's part of your journey. It's okay. I feel like so many people are so hard on themselves about decisions that past you made and it doesn't serve

you. It doesn't help you to be nervous or upset about a decision that you made historically because you've already done telling me now exactly you've already done it but by feeling bad about it what you're telling me is you've learned and you've grown and you actually know better now so it's not a bad thing at all that taught you a lot yeah that's so true that is true um yeah I think getting a brand new car especially putting it on finance like I know now that's a really bad idea but I'd had a really terrible experience with the last car that I'd bought which was like a secondhand car I'd just been totally stitched up like everything needed replacing on this car so I yeah I thought that buying a new car would end up being more economical um and I like really

desperately needed a car it didn't have to be new but I needed a car because for the last couple of months over the summer um I'd been getting public transport to and from work which for me it was like a 25 minute walk to the bus stop and then a 40 minute bus ride to the tram station and then like a 15 minute tram ride and then a walk yeah it just wasn't um no well it was on the way back um like on the way to work that's fine it's just public transport but on the way back I would like finish work around 3 a.m sometimes 4 if it was like a Friday or Saturday and the trams don't start running so the trams don't start till like 6 15 and the buses don't my bus didn't come till 7 30 in the morning so I'd like finish work and then walk down to the beach and just like

sleep on the sand for like a few hours because it was like more comfortable than a park bench and then I'd like walk back to the tram station I'd like set an alarm for like 6 30 on my phone and then like walk back and then get the bus home. That is so dangerous. It was yeah it was it was so exhausting like I cannot explain how tired I was all the time because I was doing this literally every night and like there's brown snakes on the beach as well and like you just to be careful like there's a lot of bad stories so like I yeah it was like a priority to get some mode of transport I would have paid for the car for you if I knew that that's what you were doing oh my god like that is that is crazy and to be honest as much as I'm I'm super grateful that

you're not doing that now it's so dangerous to do that but I can see why one buying a car was a decision you made but two at the time you probably felt like you didn't really have any other option you felt like that was necessary in your situation right like nobody does these things because they're like, oh, it doesn't matter. Like, I don't mind. I'm so wealthy. I can afford to get an Uber. I'm just not going to like, you just felt like that was the only option you had. Yeah, I definitely did. I just, I didn't really feel like I had, I just, I didn't know anyone there. Like I didn't have any help sort of thing. And, um, I, I thought I could pay it back really quickly. So I didn't think that it would be that bad, but, um, it was literally 10 days after I

bought the car I actually got fired from my job um yeah and that just totally broke me like it was so ridiculous as well it was it was literally just I was about a decade younger than the majority of girls at this particular club that I was working at where I was waitressing and um for anyone that doesn't know the dancers actually aren't on a wage they pay to be there and then the the waitresses are obviously on a wage but they don't they don't they aren't able to earn anywhere near as much as dancers so I think they were getting a bit upset that I was maybe getting a bit more attention a bit more tips than them so they just asked for me to be removed and yeah the specific girl that did was actually having an affair with the owner so literally she

was asked the next day I got fired yeah there is so much tea in this podcast this week this is literally a Netflix show oh my god it was crazy like I literally just rocked up to work and I got fired the next day. Um, and then, yeah, I literally, it just broke me. Like I just deferred uni. Um, I just taken out this huge loan and I still had a couple of grand to pay off my last loan. And like, I just lost the best source of income I'd basically ever had. And I was so devastated. And like in the past, I, I'd been working for jobs and I was actually making like 16 to $1,700 a week. Um, and all of my employers knew that I had four jobs, but I thought that because of that I was being taxed properly but I actually wasn't so I had a few thousand dollars

owing to the ATO and so I felt like if I got multiple jobs again I would just end up in more debt again and so that just didn't feel like an option to get multiple jobs and because I deferred uni I was like oh my god like I have to make this worth something like this can't like I just felt like I was constantly redefining rock bottom I was like there has to be something come from this so I just like I was sitting in my car like crying because I'd just been fired and I was like I've got to start dancing like I just have to it just is what it is I have to start dancing so I was like living on the Gold Coast and I applied for a job um up in Brisbane literally to like my trial was like two nights later and um yeah that's basically how it started um and you wouldn't

actually believe it the first day so like I went to my job they do like a trial job interview thing and I drove up to Brisbane I actually left like two and a half hours it only takes like an hour and a half to get to Brisbane max um that's anxiety for you yeah I'm like sitting in my car just like you know touching up my makeup like thinking about what I'll say before I go in oh it's such a nice car why wouldn't you I'm like sitting down and out of nowhere this car t-bones my car and I'm like parked yeah it was my brand new car I'm parked and I was like about to go in for my interview a car t-bones me and um then he gets out and starts abusing me because like I was parallel parked in front of a big

white van so he didn't see my car and he thought it was a car spot so he's like racing like down the main road oh my god I know like thankfully I didn't actually have to end up paying anything but it was like an insurance nightmare because he didn't have insurance and yeah it was just one thing only for another I end up getting the job though so thank god for that and then um yeah when I was dancing I was working five nights a week I reckon I was probably making around two and a half grand up in Brisbane a week and I was just funneling all of my money into that debt like I was you would never have known I was making that kind of money like I was living in a house with six people and like two dogs and I had a mattress that I'd like gotten off the side of

the road but um all of my money I was just putting it all to pay off that debt and then um I just told myself when I paid it back I was like I will never get into debt again and I've never gotten a credit card since and I like I'm trying to like rehabilitate my learning um but yeah there's definitely like a lot of just like crazy stories where I've made some you know stupid mistakes out of pure stupidity that's not stupid and bad luck I feel like this is a story that you know I'm listening along be like and what next yeah me too the underlying I guess theme of this is so many people would have given up so many people would bury their head in the sand and not do anything about their financial situation and I see it all the time people then spiral into more debt or you

know go back to a you know a different job that pays not as much and you know this isn't an option for everybody and it's not a choice that everybody would make and that's okay but what I'm seeing is you're just so tenacious you're like no I'm gonna get it done and this is how I'm gonna do it because and I'm not taking no for an answer yeah I'm not I'm not having it and I just love that like you just come across as this person that I want to know like I just want to know you and your story and you're just so cool please I literally want to buy you a coffee this is the coolest story I think like I think I used to be kind of a bit like I am now but I definitely went through a phase I think especially when I started dancing where I was really disconnected and like really

dissociating I think like I was definitely pushing myself into a place that I probably wasn't comfortable and now I'm super comfortable like I'm in this industry voluntarily and I love it and I have awesome friends from it and stuff um and it's absolutely undoubtedly changed my life But I think at the time I, to get by, I was doing anything to get by. So like, I really started to lose myself because like I would go to work and I would see other girls making money and I wouldn't be making money, which I think a lot of girls go through that way, you know, that you could have a night where you don't make something. And then the next night you pull three grand, like, you just don't know what's going to

happen. Um, and like, I, I would start lying to get the customers. Like I would do anything, whatever I need. I got good at it. but you start to like lose yourself as a person, especially when you're doing it so many nights a week. So I think it's taken like a few years to like rebalance myself so that I'm a bit more of like a, I don't know, I guess just like a balanced person in general, instead of like either having to live at one end of the extreme of the spectrum, like from a personality point of

view. Yeah. Wow. So how did you start finding yourself again? Because regardless of the situation I think that a lot of people when it comes to finances do find themselves feeling a little bit lost and doing the things that they feel like they have to do to get by what were the steps that you were taking to I guess refine yourself and you know gain that confidence back yeah I guess it's a really good question I think some of it comes from privilege of getting to a point where I actually wasn't in desperate need of the money if that makes sense so I'd gone from years of being in like significant amounts of debt and I was so desperate for money that I would do anything for that money but then I got to a point where I actually could say no and I think

in that industry it's about learning your boundaries and that can take a really long time because I think women in general I mean all people in our society but specifically women like we're socialized to be polite and not to be outspoken and not to be not to be an inconvenience and if there's any uncomfortability in a situation we're taught that we need to harbor that uncomfortability and make everyone around us feel comfortable and feel good um and specifically men like I feel like our position in society sometimes is just to enable men and when you're socialized like that and then you go into an environment that can be extremely exploitative of women and you're in an environment where it is a boys will be boys atmosphere and then they

like the way I would describe it is if someone can take something from you they will so you know they'll cut your grass if you're getting a customer but men like if you're not constantly asserting yourself you will be taken advantage of at every opportunity because if you don't say no they will assume it's a yes so I think slowly learning what my boundaries are um and not just that like I think I always knew my boundaries but learning how to assert them was really it was challenging it probably genuinely took me about a year and a half like of and like like you will get sexually assaulted if you don't tell someone no because they will just keep assuming it's yes and even if you are telling them no they'll keep going until you and you'll just sit

there and cop it and I think it's so easy for people to say like oh well why didn't you just tell them no like why didn't you just walk away it's just not that easy especially when like the last no if you're in that situation you never act how you think you'll act and um I think especially because I've just been fired from my last job so unjustly I was so scared to tread on anyone's toes as well um so I guess like learning your boundaries and like I remember one of my first shifts um it was actually when I was waitressing it was one of my first shifts waitressing and I was walking through the club and waitresses are completely clothed they don't take their clothes off they they don't they they literally just get drinks for customers like they

don't really interact with customers in the same way that an actual dancer would um and I had um a guy I was just walking through like with a tray of drinks and a guy slapped me on the bum and I kind of just like turned around and was like a bit shocked and then I just like kept kept walking and the head waitress saw it and she grabbed me and and she turns back at that guy and she was just like what the hell did you just do except she was like using a few more profanities she was like did you just slap like my waitress on the bum and he was just like oh oh oh no no and she's like actually I think that you did like I think you just did and he was just like oh and she's like are you going to give her some money for that and he was just like oh oh and he like

he was so speechless and she's just like you better take $50 and put it in her tip jar right now and he was just like oh and she's like if you're going to touch a dancer you pay if you want to touch my waitress you better be willing to pay and like she was getting so mad at him and um that was like made me realize like oh you can say no like you actually have power in that situation and then yeah it took like a year and a half to like rehabilitate my mindset to get to a point where I'm like yeah I have power in this situation I am in control of it and I think when you learn you go girl oh my god it's so motivating yeah I think like learning to boundaries is when like things started to change for me. I really love the confidence that you have

now and I think it's really important regardless of what industry or aspect you're in like asserting your boundaries is so important for your mental health your physical health and your ability to generate an income and sometimes we just let people get away with things because we feel like oh like I don't want to tread on someone's toes because I need the money or I really need this job. And to be honest, like you are so, you are worth so much more than that. And it, you know, it breaks my heart that, you know, I'm so grateful that you're out of this situation, but what I know for sure is there's other girls in exactly the situation you were in going through exactly the same things at this point. And I guess it's, I guess it's probably a good last question for you

is, you know, if you could talk to past you, what would you tell her? And what would you tell people that are going through that situation at the moment how can they see the I guess light at the end of the tunnel because you don't necessarily know at that stage what you're even looking for right yeah definitely um I would say that like it does get better and you can do it and like anything is possible if you have enough nerve like you just need to keep fighting because like it always does get better and like focus on your goals and let anything else that comes in and out of your life until you reach your goal just let it be water under the bridge and just know that like you did what you needed to do to get where you wanted to be and like that's okay and

like you always said on the podcast like comparison is the thief of joy and it totally is like I think it's so easy especially as a youngster and especially like in the era of social media to just constantly compare yourself and just be like why like why can't I have that life like why wasn't that mine like why couldn't that have happened for me and like it's so easy to focus on what you don't have but like um like I think that like you can do it and like whatever you're going through like it it just does get better oh my gosh that that is so inspired and it oh honestly this has been such a great money diary and i love your story i love you i love everything you stand for and it's just we need these stories we need to understand other people's uh experiences and what

they go through to understand that our journeys aren't linear and they're never going to be the same and we can learn something from everybody's journey and it's just you know it makes me feel so grateful that we've got the she's on the money community because we get to do that through this and you guys are so generous with your stories and it just it makes my heart so full oh you're so welcome thank you so much for like giving me space to like talk to people like that that's really special um I just also feel really grateful to hear um your story from a narrative that isn't spoken about very often and it's a a job that people are probably scared to like it's like you can't ask that and people you know are afraid of of different things to to what they know and I

think it's really uh an important story to share that people are going to hear that and realize the hustle and like the the personal strength and power that it takes to be any type of person let alone like an industry that you don't hear much about so I just truly from the bottom of my heart like thank you so much for reaching out because i think it's a really important story for people to hear from from this perspective so i agree and it's funny because that industry is always really looked down upon and throughout my journey as a financial advisor and growing she's on the money some of the best women i've ever met have been in that industry like they are the most open women they are so accepting of everybody's journeys and stories they are going to have

your back in every single situation and I think that that comes from them having experienced other people not having it for them and you know I think it's so unfair that this industry has such a negative connotation because the women in it are often so beautiful yeah it makes me so sad like I think Hollywood has definitely like thrown us under the bus there we're always portrayed as like crazy drug addicts that just like you know would swap that you know for um work which like it's just so untrue especially in Australia like I think a lot of us just like haven't had you know supportive families or haven't grown up with families and stuff and so we all have a new found appreciation for like um women and like the friendships with women and I think like when

people say things like um you know you're better than this industry and stuff I'm like well that's because you don't know this industry like you've you've never taken the time to learn like yeah that's so it's so sucky because it's exactly like financial advice right like you've had an experience with an advisor so therefore you're like everybody's bad when in reality it's the minority of women in that industry that are making a bad name but they're the ones that get the press right yeah exactly that's it that's it oh my gosh well thank you so much for joining us. I'm genuinely so grateful for your story. And I know we're going to be friends for a long time now. Oh, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. We really, really appreciate it. We really do. It's been such an eye-opening conversation and I feel like you took us really left field, but I'm so grateful for that. But that is obviously all we have time for today. So before we go, we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing and for caring for the land which we are able to learn. We pay all respects to elders past and present and we share our friendship and our kindness. The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally nature and does not consider

your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision and we promise victoria divine is an authorized representative of australia pacific funds management proprietary limited abn 34132463257 afsl 339151 and if you have a money diary yourself that you would like to share with us we would love it if you got in contact at hello at she's on the money.com.au absolutely we will see you next week for a money diary guys Thank you for watching.