She's On The Money - MONEY DIARIES: There's Life After Shopping Addiction

Episode Date: June 30, 2024

Today's diarist grew up exposed to alcohol and gambling, and subsequently went without. She developed a shopping addiction and hit rock bottom last year after she spent all her money on clothes and relocating interstate. But this lead to her finally beginning to turn her life around with the support of her partner, and now she's on the road to home ownership! Friends! If you loved this episode, then we know you are going to love Victoria's new book! This book has been written so you can feel empowered and see that YOU have the power to rewrite your own money story! Get your copy now, click here!  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money.

She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries episodes where I get the absolute privilege of talking to one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their money story. So let's jump straight into it because this week we got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, She's on the Money. I grew up exposed to alcohol and gambling and was always going without. I developed a shopping addiction and hit rock bottom last year after I spent all my money on clothes and moving interstate. But last year I began to turn

my life around and now I'm ready to buy my first home with my partner. Money Diarist, I feel like that story is giving me a bit of wit plash. Are you ready to have a chat with the community about it? Yes, let's go for it. I'm really excited. The question I always ask up front is, Money Diarist, if I asked you to give yourself a grade from A through to F, what would that grade be? I feel like at this point in my life, I've done a lot of work, but I've still got a lot of work to do. So at this point in time, I'd give myself a C. A C. All right. Well, let's learn more about that. My favorite question of all time. Money Diarist, can you dive a little bit deeper into your money story? Yes. So my money story started early in childhood. So I grew up exposed to a lot

of gambling and alcohol addiction. So a lot of my parents' paycheck went to that every week. And I grew up having to go without a lot of the things that I wanted and needed as a child. Seeing my parents live paycheck to paycheck was the norm for me. So when I got my first job at 14 years old, I chose to spend that on clothes and shoes and whatever I needed or wanted at the time. And I never really knew the concept of saving or the importance of it. I actually remember one of my first jobs when I was 16 years old working as a hairdresser and I'd get my full time paycheck of $350 a week. And I would go out and spend it that day on my lunch break on whatever I wanted that day. And I would have to go home and ask my mom for petrol money to

be able to get to work the next week. Yeah, that was kind of my story up until I turned around 23, where I really realized spending my money in this way was a problem and that I needed to really change my money spending ways. Yeah, that's so fair. I feel like it's really relatable when you're young to just go, I've got my paycheck, let's spend it. And you didn't waste any time getting it at lunchtime and then going, oh, well, I haven't really thought this through. I probably need to chat to mum about petrol money. I feel like it's such a common thing, but we don't talk about it because how many times does mum and dad just go, all right, no worries. Like, let's get this together for you, money diarist, because it's kind of accepted

that young people will be a little bit frivolous with money. They're not so good at it. But instead of sitting you down and going, all right, money diarist, this is what we need to change. This is how we're going to create wealth. This is, you know, actually really bad behavior from you. It was just, I guess, perpetuated and not purposefully. It's just a lack of financial education from everybody's perspective. And I'm just really glad that you're stepping out of that because it's changing the narrative moving forward. Marnie Durrist, I know you mentioned it just before that one of your first jobs was working as a hairdresser, but I want to know what you're doing now and how much money you are earning. I'm currently working in administration

and I'm earning $70,000 before tax per year. Oh, very nice. Is that including or excluding super? Excluding super. Oh, very, very nice. All right, Marnie Dyrus, next question I've got for you. I want to know, what is your big money goal? What are you currently working towards? So mine and my partner's big money goal is to be financially free, of course. But right now we are working towards a five-year plan, which is that when we start having kids, I will be the stay-at-home parent. We are working towards, I guess, replacing some of my income so that when I'm home with the kids, we don't have to go without. So right now, my partner has just been approved for a home loan and we're currently looking for our first house. And in December, I will be ready to purchase my

first house under my name. Oh, exciting. We're like doubling down. We're not just doing it under one name. We're doing it under both. I love this. I want to be like super pervy though, because I feel like at the moment, especially in the middle of a cost of living crisis, the idea of being a stay at home parent is getting further and further away from something that is really achievable. What does your partner earn? What does he do? And how are you going to make this work at some point? Or like, what are you working towards or thinking at this point in time? He's an engineer. He earns $125,000 per year, including super. So what we're planning to do within the next five years is pay off one of the mortgages.

In five years? Yeah, we're going to do it. She's aggressive. I love this. Yeah. So we're going to pay off one of the mortgages and have the full benefit of that rental income. I love this so much, but I want to know a little bit more. I'm so pervy. I'm so sorry, but I know that everybody else listening is as well. So like, I've just got to step up and ask the hard hitting questions. How much are you looking at taking when it comes to a mortgage? Like, what does that look like? And how are we paying off a mortgage in, I don't know,

five years? Because like, I know it's going to take me the full 30. So my partner has a $35,000 deposit to buy his first home. And ideally we're looking at going the cheaper, the better. What we really need is just something to live in for the meantime and something that can be rented out to other people as an investment. So ideally looking for like a one bedroom or a two bedroom, yeah, as cheap as possible. So ideally we'd like to spend around $325,000. And we have been finding things in our price range, but I guess it all comes down to what you're expecting that place to be. For us, it's not our forever home. We've lived in rentals that have been much worse than the ones we're looking at. And yeah, we're really happy to

sacrifice a few of the luxury home things that we would love for that greater goal of being a stay-at-home parent. I love it. I want to know, are you planning on moving into that property so that you can get all of the benefits of like first home buyers and stuff like that? Yes. So we're planning to move into the property. We are doing the 15% government grant for the first property. So we only need a 5% deposit, but basically we're just going to put everything that we can towards that and make a lot of sacrifices throughout the next five years for that to be a possibility for us. Yeah. I love that so much. I'm seeing so many young people like yourself going, all right, well, the property dream is definitely a dream of ours, but it doesn't look

the same way it used to for our parents or our parents' parents. Now we need to buy stepping stone properties. And instead of just going straight into the family home and having a kid and not working anymore, it's kind of, we buy these smaller properties, we pay them off or pay a significant amount of them off, use the equity in that property to get into our next property and kind of start growing our portfolio that way and it makes so much sense and I just feel like sometimes we have to start small and grow because that's what creates ultimate wealth whereas a lot of us and I mean I was the same purchasing my first home I was like oh I don't know if I want to compromise like I don't know if I want to you know go small and you know do all of the things

that I need to do I just really wanted my dream home up front I feel like it's now starting to payoff. Like my partner and I bought our home nearly four years ago or just over four years actually ago. And now I'm looking at it going, I'm really glad that we bought a home that was smaller than what we technically could have purchased. And we adore it still, but I think it's put us in a really secure position, especially when we know that interest rates are terrifying at the moment as well. Is that something you guys have discussed and gone, all right, well, what happens if there's another interest rate hike? Yeah. So we have discussed that and that's why our plan is ideally the cheaper, the better. We know that there's always something that may

happen. So we don't really think for us that it's a smart idea to max out our loan capacity on one property because we have to consider the fact that in five years, we're only going to be on one income. So I think for us, we just want to make sure that we're living within our means and not maxing out our loan capacity. I love this. I feel like you guys have thought about it so much and I already know I want to have a little bit of a disagreement with you about that C you gave yourself at the start. But even though I have heaps of questions, we need to go to a really quick break. And then on the flip side, we're going to be talking about investments. We're going to be talking about debt. And I want to know your best and your worst money habits,

because I have a sneaky suspicion you've built a couple of really good ones we're all going to want to steal. So guys, don't go anywhere. All right, Money Diarist, we are back and I want to know, do you invest? If so, what in? If not, do you have a plan? Yes. So I do have investments, but I'm not currently investing as those savings are going towards my first property. Back in 2020, I bought shares in Vanguard and in BHP for $2,800 which at that point was the most money I had ever saved in my life and now those shares are at $3,500. Oh I love this so I'm assuming when you say Vanguard you purchased a Vanguard ETF is that correct? Yes. So how did you pick that ETF and why did you pick BHP as a direct share? So I'd seen my partner invest and he's got quite a large

portfolio. And I was there looking at all of the behind the scenes of what he was doing and how he was investing his money. And we were learning a lot of this stuff together just off basic YouTube videos. We're definitely not the best investors, but we made a decision just to see how it went. and that's what we decided to put our money in. I love it because I feel like Vanguard and BHP, they're both blue chip, really solid stocks that have existed for a really long time. The Vanguard is going to have given you some really good instant diversification, which I'm sure you already know because we love an exchange traded fund for that purpose. What made you go with Vanguard though? There's lots of ETFs on the market. Was it

tried and true or was it something that your partner had suggested or were you just like, look, this just feels like a good option. How did you come to the decision of Vanguard with the ETF providers for me? Yes. So Vanguard was what my partner invested in. And the reason I chose to go with it was because there's a lot of information on the internet about Vanguard. And for me, I wanted to invest into something that I thought was safe. So with there being that information that felt like the safest option to me just to see how it went, because at that point in time, $2,800 was a lot of money to me. It's still a lot of money. Like $2,800 is life-changing and the fact that you were able to invest it, like it makes me so happy because you told us at the

start that, you know, you grew up and you were exposed to alcohol and gambling and now you're an investor. Like that's literally the opposite of gambling. Like you are creating wealth instead of like hoping that one day you'll have a big win. Like I adore the fact that this is kind of like flipping the narrative. Complete side note, is this something that has been hard to work through or is it something that you've been like, no, V, like once I realized that this was an option, it was really easy or what has that pathway looked like for you? It has been really hard. I would say it's a lot easier now than it used to be. I first started self-development when I was around 20 or 21 and realized that a lot of the things that were happening in my life that I didn't like

were due to what I was exposed to as a child. So yeah, it was really hard to work through in the beginning, especially my money story. I think that's one of the hardest things I've had to work through to really take something that was so, so negative and turn it into something that is more than just the average or more than just the normal. I'm not trying to be normal. I'm trying to be better than that. And yeah, to take something that was so bad and turn it into something so good has been hard, but I would rather the harder option than the easier option of just staying normal. I love it so much. Are you really proud of what you've done? Because like no one else has done that for you. You've done that. Is that something that you're proud

of? And do you ever reflect on that? Yeah, I'm very proud of it. Like growing up in a household where I didn't have any financial education to have found all of these tools and resources on my own and done that work on my own. Yeah, it's one of the things that I'm most proud of in my life. I love it so much. I know I've said that so many times, but like I just do. I want to know now, do you have any debt? If so, what is it? Yes. So I was studying a few years ago and then decided to change my career. So I have a HECS debt of $17,000. That's okay. And what study was that and how did it pivot and change I know you said before that you work in admin at the moment what were you studying to be or become or what were the thought patterns there so I was studying

to be a primary school teacher oh cool and I started studying late when I was 21 I never really knew what career I wanted to be in I just knew that I wanted to do something that was caring and nurturing and I thought that was the right role for me but after completing a couple of placements, I realized how much work it would be. And I just decided that that was not the best career path for me to really exercise the skills that I wanted to exercise. I love that. I feel like so many of us start studying and even though you probably look back on this and go, oh my gosh, that's 17 grand. That's such a waste of money. I am absolutely certain that you have so much more clarity now in what you want your life to look like. And you

probably got a heap of skills that maybe you're not even recognizing from that study that really help you right now. When you become a stay at home mom, I know that that was the plan. Is that something that you're like, yep, that's like everything I've ever wanted to achieve? Or is that a look that makes the most sense for us? And I will do that until the kids go to school and then, you know, get back into a career. So what does that look like for you? Yes. For me, from a very young age, I've always known that I've wanted to be a mom. I became an auntie at 14 years old and that just absolutely solidified it to me. You're like, I'm sold. I'm done. Yeah. That is my absolute favorite role ever. And I've always been really good with children. I've

always loved children. It just comes really natural to me. So it is my end goal to be a stay at home mom. However, I do have other passions and I would love when my children are old enough when they're in primary school to have my own business and yeah, do something that I'm really passionate about after I've dedicated that time to having children. I love it. As a new mom, I can absolutely agree that it is really hard to leave them. Like I didn't think it would be as hard as it was because I obviously adore everything that I do and I find my job to be an absolute privilege but even then I'm like oh money diaries I love it but like Harvey's at home like it's the hardest thing in the entire world so I absolutely get it historically I've got lots of

friends who have been like not being a mum like that's my career goal that's everything I ever want to achieve and I'm like great fantastic I get it even more now as someone who's been really career focused and now has a baby I'm like oh I can see why you don't want to return to work I get it especially if it wasn't something that I was super passionate about I don't know where I'd find the motivation to return. Obviously, financially, it would be an absolute stretch, but I just look at it and I go, I totally get this. Money Diarist, I want to know a bit more about your best and worst money habits. We'll start with best money habits. What is your best money habit and can you share it with me?

Yes. So I tried to think about this really long and hard, but I don't think I can narrow it just down to one because of how much progress I've made. I feel like there are three really big things that contribute to that. Number one being budgeting and knowing what bills I have, when they're going to come out, how much they are. I really keep track of those things very well. And I know what's coming in and going out of my account on a daily basis. And I plan for that in my budget. Oh, I love this. Before I get into your second good money habit, can you tell me a bit more about how you budget? Like, is that something that, you know, it's in your head or is it on the back of an envelope or do you have a really, really comprehensive spreadsheet? Like what works

for you? Yeah. So it's a bit of both. I do have a note in my phone that says my income and all of my outgoings. So I get paid fortnightly $2,100 and I have $750 of set bills per fortnight. Whenever I have internet or a phone bill come out, I will just take that out of the pay for that cycle and then I will usually save the rest. So on average, it works out that I save $1,000 a fortnight. Oh my gosh, that's epic. Is that hard or is that easy? Like I feel like a thousand dollars a fortnight, that's truckloads of money to me, especially on your salary. Like that is really cool. It's hard and easy at the same time. I feel like there are a lot of things that I have to sacrifice and choose to go without. But for our budget, my partner pays our rent and I pay

all our other expenses. So it works out to be around 50-50. It's hard because I have to sacrifice a lot of things, but also at the same time, it's easy because every time I get paid, I see that number in the thousands go up every time. And it just gives me so much motivation to want to sacrifice even more that fortnight to be able to make it larger. Yeah. I feel like it's a snowball effect. Like when you have no savings, you're like, what is the point? Like, why should I bother? like there's no reason why I should you know put this extra thousand dollars into my account it'll be gone in a couple of weeks and then it like starts to compound and then you start to feel like fiercely protective over it you know it gets to like five thousand dollars and you're like holy

heck that's the most amount of money I've ever seen in my life and then it gets to ten thousand you're like holy moly that is a five figure amount like I don't know what I'm gonna do here and I find that that's one really motivating but then it makes the process of purchasing property like one exciting, but two really overwhelming because you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, my savings are going to go. And I've worked so hard for these. And even though, you know, that was actually the goal, like separating from them can feel, I don't know, emotionally distressing. And I feel like I as well have my savings in a locked bank account. So if I want to access any of those funds, I have to do it with 32 days notice to be able to access them.

So I feel like that really keeps me accountable, especially with having that background of shopping addiction. I can't just unlock my savings and spend it straight away. I have to really think about something. So I've had them locked now for six months and I have not touched them at all. Oh my gosh, I need to know because everyone else is going to ask. 32 days to be able to access your savings, especially for someone, you know, who's a little bit spend happy.

What bank are you with? How are you doing that? Yes. So I am with Virgin Money. I think it's their basic saver. So it just has an automatic lock feature and it does let you know that you have to request to unlock your bank account 32 days before you need those funds. And they give three or 4% interest for locking those savings in there. So you get a bonus interest. Yeah, cool. I love not only that you are making money on your money because that is very sexy, but I love that they give you the option of locking it away or not like I love that flexibility but I also love the idea that you

have complete transparency you know where it is you can absolutely see it you just can't touch it I feel like that's really powerful obviously for you but also for lots of other people so thank you for sharing that I want to flip the narrative though I need to know what are your worst money habits I think my worst money habits are buying things that I don't need just because I can and just viewing the money in my personal account or my bills account that I do have access to as spending money instead of for its intended purpose. I think that is definitely my worst habit. Yeah. I feel like that's really relatable though. Like so many of us just see money in our bank account and you're like, well, it's there. And like, I can't think of anything right this

second that I need to spend it on. And then like your rego or your insurance creeps up and you're like, oh my gosh, where did that money go? And you're like, I'm holding it in my hand in this new top that I just purchased. How annoying. I feel like you have a really interesting money story. Having grown up exposed to alcohol and gambling and going without, it makes a lot of sense that that kind of manifested into having a shopping addiction. I find it very common when you go without, it's kind of like whiplash. You go, all right, I've gone without for so long. I'm going to look after myself. I'm going to get myself everything that I deserve. And it totally makes sense. But then recovering from that is really, really challenging. And it sounds like

you're killing it. Like you have a plan to not only purchase two houses in the next few years, but also like you're forward planning so well that you're like, nope, we're going to go on to one income. We're going to pay off one of our mortgages in five years. Like this is the plan. not only is it the plan, it's really well thought out. Like I'm saving a thousand dollars per fortnight. Like girl, you're saving two grand a month. That's $26,000 a year. Be for real. Like that is so much money. And I am genuinely shocked that you've like literally turned your story around so well. But I need to know, how does this and the fact that you're on top of budgeting and you clearly know so much about how to purchase property, why are you a C? Tell me more about

this grade and why you gave it to yourself. And do you actually think after talking whether that's maybe the right grade for you? I think maybe I could review my grade. Yeah, I feel that I'm a little bit harsh on myself in this area, especially with the past of shopping addiction. I feel a little bit negative whenever I buy things now or spend my money in the way that I know is not best for me and my future. So I feel like that's where the C comes from. But yeah, now listing all of that progress I've made and where I was versus where I am, I think I could definitely review that. I think it definitely needs a little review. Like I was just so impressed even when you said, look, I know that I have $750 worth of

set bills each and every single fortnight. Like that is something that not many people can say. And I know to you at this stage in your journey, you're probably thinking like, oh V, that's actually not that big. I just know what's going out of my bank account. Like that's where power starts to come into play. Like you have complete power over your money. And historically, when you had a shopping addiction, that wasn't the case. Like I just see so much progress here that I'm just like, oh my gosh, like she's actually going to do what she says she's going to do because she's doing it right now. So not only should you be super proud, but I think maybe a little bit of thought around that C and giving yourself a little bit more credit for the progress that you've

created solely on your own, like you're killing it. And I'm so proud of you. I am going to gift you our Budget and Cashflow Masterclass because you said that you were good at budgeting, but I think we can take it to the next level. So I will sort that out with you after, because I think that that is going to change the fact that you keep dipping into those, not savings, but into your spending account. It'll give you even more control. And we love that. But Money Diarist, I'm really sorry to say that's all we have time for today because I have a million other questions. But thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being so open and letting me be pervy on your partner and be pervy on to basically every single detail of your life, including your plan to have

kids. That was really kind of you, but it's been really inspiring hearing your story. And I just know that our community is going to adore it as much as I did. Thanks so much for having me. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.