She's On The Money - Money Diaries Update: What Really Happens in a Divorce Settlement (And Where She Ended Up)

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

This is the update you’ve all been waiting for… and a year later, she’s back to tell us what really went down. Last time we spoke, the separation was still fresh. Now the divorce is almost final, and everything that happened in between is the stuff every woman should know long before she ever needs to. We’re talking expectations versus reality, the loopholes no one warns you about, and the parts of the process that only make sense once you’re living them. She also shares the lessons she wishes she’d known sooner, how she’s navigating the big conversations with her kids, and the mindset shift that changed everything.LISTEN: To her first ep with us here. SEE OUR BUNDLE SALE FOR UP TO 30%: Where you can get Victoria's budgeting system & learn to invest.Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+. And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories for educational purposes of course today's episode is something a little

bit different and i am so flipping excited about it because one of our most popular money diaries of all time. The one that had all of us yelling, yes, queen in the back. Yeah, she's back. So you might remember a year ago, we read a letter and I'm going to read it out again. It sounded exactly like this. Hello, she's on the money queens. I'm a 35 year old mom of two with a story that serves as a cautionary tale for all women. Three months into relocating to a new state with my husband, he blindsided me with the news that he was leaving. I had absolutely no idea this was coming. And here's the tough part. We had joint money. He earns three times what I do. And I have spent the last nine years out of full-time work, raising our children. Now I have to pick myself back up

and reassess everything to start fresh and give my kids the life they deserve. Now, obviously I'll link this episode in the show notes so that you can go back. And do you know what? You should go back. Don't get further into this and spoil the excitement of seeing where somebody is without having listened to the first episode. But to give you a really quick recap, last time, Money Diarist, you were on the show, you'd just been blindsided by your husband, literally a few months after moving interstate and right after a meeting about buying a property together. You told me that you didn't have any money in your own name at that point, which was really stressful. And it made obviously everything feel even harder when he decided to

leave. Now, I remember you saying that mediation was one of the best decisions that you ever made and you went in prepared and then you actually walked out with 60% of his superannuation and no debts left on the table, which was an absolute slay. You also negotiated around, I think it was four grand a month in child support, which put you in a way better position to borrow again and then start planning for the future and look after your children and get back on track. And you'd just gone back to work as a communications manager on $103,000 a year paycheck, which was honestly incredible because obviously hearing your story, you were like, I'm so stressed. I've been out of work. Like, am I going to be able to get an income? And you were really focused on

rebuilding your confidence in your career, which obviously every single person in the She's On The Money community was absolutely behind you. In that episode, you gave yourself a D minus for your money habits back then. You said, oh, I'm a D minus. But by the end of the chat, you'd actually said, you know what? You know what, V? I reckon I'm a V plus. And honestly, it felt like the perfect symbol of just how far you'd come and what you'd achieved but now you're back so welcome to the show my friend and thanks for reaching out and saying hey guys I've got a little juicy update yes I mean it's so interesting listening to all that and remembering I guess where I was like this time a year ago yeah I was feeling I mean there's

a few things that have all happened some good some not so good to like catch everyone up on there's still some uh definitely some cautionary tale elements to my story but the biggest most exciting thing is that I I remember when I was speaking to you and my two biggest goals were to take my kids on holiday and to buy a house and I I mean I literally have goosebumps when I say this but I have achieved both of those things get in the bin are you both I did both so stop it we had an amazing family holiday. I mean, I'm literally sitting in my daughter's room right now. It's the best for acoustics, you know. I have goosebumps. I don't know if you can see though. I'm so excited for you. And we had just the best holiday ever of my whole life and the kids loved it. And then,

yeah, a little while after that. So like I said, I think in the last one, my parents have been amazing and they, you know, all through their own very, very clever approach to money over the years like you know they keep saying oh we're just in a fortunate position where we can help you on my there's nothing fortunate about it you guys made really really smart financial decisions and I just could not be more grateful so they contributed like my deposit and then some which meant that I was able to buy a house and we've been here now since I think we moved in May and we just love it like it's just we're so happy here the stability that we've got I mean I'm literally looking out into my backyard right now and I can see the kids trampoline and the

basketball hoop and you know and and it's like you know their primary school is a block and a half away so most days we take the dog and we walk to school and then their high school is a couple of blocks from here too and they've got all these friends in the neighborhood and so it's just all the things it's all the things you know it's little and it's not perfect but it's ours and we just we love it so that has been fantastic oh I'm so so excited for you if we go back to the day that we were recording. I feel like you were so switched on. I was like, if this had happened to me or, you know, sadly, I've seen lots of women in our community go through this. You just had an air of positivity about you that I was like, I don't know if I

could muster that. Like, I just don't know if I would be as optimistic about the future. I'm not saying that you should be down about this, but it's very easy to wallow in your own circumstances and be like, oh, woe is me. And you were not like that at all. how are you feeling now obviously like you've achieved these big money goals that you'd set and said you wanted to achieve and I don't think you thought they were going to happen within the first 12 months you were like you know but they're things I'm going to do for my kids did you listen to the episode like was that I did woman familiar to you how do you feel about it now I mean I have lots of feelings about it to be honest I think you would be able to show up in

that way because I think as mothers we really don't realize how strong we are until we have to be for our kids and I think as I you know it's like people say like oh my god I could never have twins well like of course you could like of course you could because you'd have to figure out a way like and you're a mum and so you do and that was very much my approach is like I have to show up for my kids and I have to there's actually no choice here it wasn't like oh would you like to do this and you're like oh no thank you no thank you I choose misery I just didn't have that and I mean, you know, I've gotten very like woo-woo over the last year and a bit. I do my gratitude, like meditating and manifesting every day. I really believe in it. I just really believe

a positive mindset is such an important thing to have. I actually listened to, you had an episode with Georgia from... Oh, Georgie Stevenson from Rise and Conquer. Yes. I listened to that and that, you know, I was already doing a lot of it already then, but then I've also then since gotten into all of her stuff as well, which is great. So on the one hand, yeah, I look at it and I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm proud that I was able to do that. And for the most part, I am still the same, but also it's been a really, really tough year since then. Things have gotten very ugly with my ex-husband. Again, this is where I guess the cautionary tale part of it comes in, in that I had definitely counted my chickens before they'd

hatched and things got very ugly and you know did all the things did the hiding of the assets did the squirreling away money did the I can't afford to pay you this not you somebody else did yes yes and did the backing out on a whole bunch of promises he's also I don't want to go into too much detail but you know put the kids into some not so safe situations which I'm really not very happy about excuse me like squirrel the money away from me fine do not come near my children yeah and the thing is it's not about squirreling the money from me it's about your children like I still do have like majority custody and this is the thing that people often say he's like how can he do that doesn't he understand it's hurting the kids and this is the thing that people don't

understand about when you're when you're dealing with a true narcissist that they don't care like they do not have capacity to care about other people. And so he can't see that. He still genuinely believes he's the victim in this situation. So, yeah, so I think that's kind of where the cautionary tale bit of it comes in. You know, I, long story short, he's ended up basically paying the minimum government child support amount. He hid assets so that any amount of settlement I was entitled to I couldn't get and this is where our legal system is just and even my lawyer conceded that she's like yeah it sucks because it's like we could go after him we could do like forensic accounting and all that kind of stuff but it's more time and it's more

money and ultimately if the money's spent the money's spent so that's where I just think again I just I can't stress enough how much you just need to have your own money and your own independence because you just don't know who you married. You just don't know. You don't. And it's actually really scary. And that's been a really hard part of this is unraveling how much of it was me being willfully ignorant, how much of it was me just not knowing how, you know, and I'll never have the full answers to all of that, but that's, you know, we've just, as women, we have to protect ourselves because if it wasn't for my family behind me, I would be an entirely different statistic. And so that's incredibly scary. You know, like I will never let my daughter have all

joint money with a partner or my son for that matter. Yeah. And I just say, yeah. So the honest answer to that is at this point, I feel truly exhausted. I think probably last time I spoke to you, I was still like really running on adrenaline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could tell, you know, like in a good, but also like self-preservation way, you were like, I'm just going to get shit done. I'm going through this and I'm growing through this and I'm going to get it done and like how many women have I heard the same story from there are agreements and then they're squirreling money away and there's hiding assets and transferring it into other names and we're not talking and I know that your situation there was like more than enough finances to

support both of you but I'm even seeing it in like lower income families like the emergency fund is being transferred to a mate and saying oh sorry I spent it on a pool table that never eventuated like it just all of this stuff drives me up the absolute wall because you're right our legal system can't do anything about it and at the end of the day even if he owed you that amount and then he went and spent it and I say ingest on a pool table because that's what I was last talking about with a client or an ex-client he said oh yeah I spent six grand on a pool table no you didn't oh I bought it off a mate so I don't have a receipt of course you don't it's very convenient isn't it but the legal system doesn't support anything like that yeah and I've had the same

experience in that like the number of people who once they find out you know my situation or what I'm going through the number of people who are like ah yeah I had one of those ah yeah my ex did the same thing or my friends you know and it's just it's a really really shitty club to be a part of yeah it is but at the same time you know it does offer you support and it offers me especially um some hope that you know obviously things do get better we did you know it took we had to go back to mediation again this time with lawyers present so you know the amount of money that this has cost is just like ridiculous but we finally got things signed and I'll be divorced by Christmas oh Merry Christmas baby Merry Christmas I was hoping it would be by my birthday but that's

like this weekend so it's not going to be quite then but um no but that's okay that's all right like we're happy to wait as long as it's by Christmas and like it will be the merriest of Christmases. It will, it will. Yeah. And we're hoping to have Christmas like with the family here at our new house this year. And I just, yeah. All right. Let's go to a really quick break. So guys don't go anywhere. All right, Money Dress, we are back. So tell me a bit more about these money goals. You set goal to buy a house, goal to go on a holiday. How have your money goals now, 12 months down the track changed? What are they? Well, given the significant change to what I've got coming in from child support, it's made a big difference. And that's, again, that's where I'm

kind of trying to see the positive in these situations that I wouldn't have been able to get the mortgage for this house had it been like what the current situation is with like my income and then child support. But I did manage to get this house and like, it means that, yep, things are a lot tighter, but we've got the house and it's great. And, you know, I'm very hopeful that for me, my career will continue to grow. So for me at the moment, and I do qualify for some other government assistance, which is good. It's not huge, but that's beneficial. So at the moment, it's really just about keeping the lights on. I'm, you know, managing to get little bits of money into my emergency fund each month, but a lot of things are cropping up like, oh, your health

insurance. So your life insurance is due or your car service is $900 or whatever, but I've got that there, which is good. That's iconic. Honestly, the fact that you're still managing money when I see lots of people and we all deal with things in our own ways, but they go, you know, until this tumultuousness goes away, I'm just burying my head in the sand and I'll deal with it later. Like that's icon behavior. I've done a bit of that to be completely transparent. I've done a bit of that because you know I'm also a neuro spicy type we're just girls you know we're just like we can't be everything we are everything all at once that's the whole point that's the ADHD the balance all the things all at once all the tabs open yeah so my money goals for now are I'm currently trying

to save because I would like to take the kids on another holiday at some point probably in the next couple of years. And I think my main goal at the moment is to just keep plugging away at work and hopefully, you know, get a promotion and a bit more money. And then I can start to kind of right the ship in terms of putting more into my like investing and stuff like that. I've got about three and a half grand now in my shares. Like I'm not contributing to that super often or super large amounts but that's okay we'll get back no no I feel like we're on the right track so we're saving for another holiday I want to be really pervy because your kids are old enough I think to understand kind of what's happening maybe not on a super pragmatic level where you know they're

late teens and can really understand but I want to ask because I think so many women are worried about this how your relationship with your children has changed over the last 12 months and you were really worried, like, how are my kids going to deal with this? Yeah. Look, to be honest, you know, with the kids, it's up and down. I think it's a form of grief and grief isn't linear. And, you know, it's always changing as well for them, you know, like their dad recently moved house as well. And so that's another thing that they have to get used to. So my relationship with them, to be honest, I think has probably never been better. I think, you know we're so afraid and I remember you know I was just so afraid that their lives were going

to be ruined and everything was going to be broken and it was one of my best friends who was amazing and like I spoke to her like every day in the midst of it all being happening whatever and she said to me after about two months she's like you know what I haven't heard you say is that you're heartbroken for you or that this was the love of your life like all you've said is but my family and the kids and this isn't what it was supposed to be and that was a real eye opener for me and I think that was accurate but I think it has proven to me that you know the bond that you have with your kids it doesn't depend on whether you're in a nuclear family or not in fact I think our bond is stronger than ever you know they are with me most of the time and sometimes

I say like oh god I feel like I'm just always being like cranky mom and not fun mom because you know I'm having to make the rules and do all that kind of stuff but at the same time you know we have like handball tournaments in our living room after dinner and we have like you know dance offs and we wrestle before bed each night because that's just what my son needs to do to get his energy out and so I think and it's actually been really nice I can make my own rules like I make them dinner but then I just make myself the most girl dinner of all time and you know if I forget to do the walking for a week. Well, I'm the only one who has to deal with that. And I actually think it's brought us closer together. I think one of the achievements I would say is like a

non-financial or a non-quantifiable achievement, but I really struggled in the beginning about the guilt that I had because they go to their dads every second weekend. I would have guilt about feeling a bit of relief to have some time to decompress. Oh, don't feel guilty about that no that's your down time I know but it was hard because I was like I should want them all the time I shouldn't be feeling this I shouldn't be feeling that and I've really worked through that and now I actually have given myself permission to enjoy my time that I do have when I'm not with them because then I do come back a better mum for them and I can show up in a much better happier way and you know it's like okay well let's make hay while the sun shines let's

find the silver lining in the cloud like you know I've started going to like festivals and like boat parties and stuff again I'm like oh life is fun who are you yeah life can be good I know like I hadn't done that kind of stuff for like 10 years and so then to have the opportunity to do that kind of stuff again it's like oh this is super fun so so yeah I think the kids are up and down my son he's younger he's always been much more emotional my daughter kind of masks a lot of her emotions but yeah it's up and down and I often like when they come back from their dad's place you know because it's the whole thing about the mum being the emotional safe place when they come back there's always some kind of emotional release and the difficulty with that is it looks different

every time sometimes they just need heaps of cuddles sometimes they're really angry sometimes they're really emotional sometimes you know and so it's about being able to read them when they get back and make sure that I've got everything I need done around the house and whatever so that I can just be fully present with them and meet those needs because yeah if it presented the same way every time you could prepare for it but it doesn't it's always slightly different I'm really glad you have that level of understanding because I think a lot of women don't have that understanding just of how kids brains are wired and I think that that is a really good thing I understand that when my kids come home from their dads there is going to be some type of who knows

what emotional release, but you can get yourself at peace before that, that comes, because if you don't see the way of coming, then you're also overstimulated. And if you're telling me you have ADHD, just like me, that can tip you over the edge and ruin an entire week. It just seems like you have so much insight. Yeah. And not taking it personally as well. You know, like when they do, like sometimes they lash out because again, like they're kids and sometimes the way that they lash out can be hurtful if you don't have that kind of mentality of I guess understanding it and I think you know I think it's really hard for them because you know their dad and I I mean we certainly don't hang out we make an effort to always be like you know polite in front of the

kids and I will never I think I said this last time but I will never speak badly about him in front of my kids because like it or not they're half me and half him so any criticism of him they are going to take on as criticism of themselves and it just doesn't benefit anyone but sometimes it's hard oh mate it would be so hard because you're like in the background you're thinking your dad is being a complete twit but I cannot vent and I think that that is honestly so strong of you but also for the best because as they grow and as they develop kids are smart they're going to be able to read between the lines they're going to be able to see those things and you want to be that mum where in retrospect kids look back and go far out my mum was so good my mum was so

supportive she never spoke ill of dad and we can almost guarantee because we do know that you were married to a narcissist that that story on the flip side is not going to be the same are you finding that to be a really challenging part of going through this to be completely honest no and I think part of that is just because I have just so completely taken on the belief that all I can control is myself. All I can control is myself and the way that I show up for my kids and the way that I, yeah, the way, the way that I speak about them or myself or their dad or anything like that. It's like the let them theory, right? If he wants to say bad things about me, let, let him, let him, you know, like I can't control that. And also in the same way that like, you

know, the drunk guy stumbling out of the bar, if he says something mean to me, well, I don't respect his opinion. I don't respect my ex's opinion. So if he's got something to say to me, cool, whatever. That's very nice. Thank you, sir, for that opinion. I'm going to put literally nowhere. So talk to me about, I remember you were completely blindsided, right? And I don't think that you ever would have been the catalyst of change here, even if you didn't feel entirely happy just from re-listening to the episode and like understanding your story enough. was this for the best oh my god because like there are women in these situations who like you know maybe the husband hasn't pulled the trigger but like they go no this is as good as

it gets there I just I don't even have words to explain how much it was for the best like even like my family and my friends have been like we didn't realize how much you would become a shell of yourself because it happens slowly right it's the same as being with a narcissist it's death by a thousand cups it's not one insult it's not one moment it's a slowly chipping away at you and your self-esteem and your self-worth and I had become and it was only after it ended that people were like oh my god she's back and I was like oh my god I'm back I didn't know I was gone but hi hey I'm like a like fully formed person with opinions and jokes so and now I mean like I said I'm all very woo-woo when I do my like gratitude like meditation and stuff like that and I mean

it's just so wild to think about like a year and a half ago how desperately I wanted it all to go back together now I'm like I literally give gratitude to the universe for removing me from that situation that I never would have been brave enough to leave myself because I wouldn't you know I think looking back, I probably knew deep down the relationship itself wasn't great and wasn't what I needed or what I wanted, but I was willing to stay in that forever for the sake of my kids and the sake of my family. I would never have walked away. So in a weird way, I'm grateful that he did it. I think the way he did it was pretty brutal. Um, but you know, it is what it is. And I just, as much as this has been so, so, so hard and I'm still just coming out of the thick

of it I think like once I've finally got those consent orders finalized and the divorce finalized and we can start to move on I feel like there'll be such a weight off my shoulders and and already like life is it's just better your tone of voice has changed like your tone of voice the way obviously everyone can't see you but the way you're presenting like you are smiling the whole way through this like there is a grin on your face when you talk about your woo-woo stuff you're like I'm a bit woo woo. And I'm like, it's not woo woo. I've been doing a lot of research recently into gratitude, right? And it is one of the only emotions that is a learned emotion. It is not an emotion that we are born with. We are not born grateful. We are not born

with the ability to be grateful. We have to learn that. And I think that once you start learning that and really deeply understand that you're teaching yourself an emotion and you start reflecting on it like you just become so happy about the little things like you know that we look at people and go oh my god like how is she having such a good day and then you ask them and they go babe it's because the sun's out like what a good day and you just go how do I be more like you the answer is gratitude it is you know doing all of the woo-woo stuff it is journaling it is writing things down and going wow I'm teaching myself a whole ass new emotion and coming to that conclusion and realizing, wow, nobody is born with this because people are born needing,

people are born needing to be looked after and wanting to be looked after. And it's not until you actually start to be grateful. And that is a, it's an exclusively human emotion, right? Like animals aren't grateful. Like they don't care. Like your dog might look grateful, but I promise you they're there for the treat. But being able to teach yourself that over the last 12 months would have been life changing, but like your entire mindset has shifted and I can just see it on your face. I can see the glow and I'm just so excited for you. It's the choosing, right? You've got to, like you said, it is the only emotion that you have to learn, but you have to choose to learn it. And definitely in the beginning, you have to make that active choice

every day. And it's one of those things that gets easier, but yeah, it's like, it's like a muscle. you have to keep doing it. And that, you know, there've been periods where I have gotten lazy with it or whatever. And I just noticed such a difference. And like, it's just such a, it's such an interesting concept. And I'm just, I'm so fascinated by like the neuroplasticity of the brain and the ability that we have to change things. Our brains are not made of concrete. They're so malleable and we can just make these choices every day as to how we see things and what we're grateful for. It's, you know, the same thing I tell my kids, like whether you think you can or you can't, you're probably right. So let's just

tell ourselves that we can. My mom used to tell me that I should listen more often. Tell me a bit more about your money habits and how they might've changed in the last 12 months. Like with all of this, like, I guess, reintroduction of gratitude and trying to really work on yourself and your mindset and going through everything that you're going through has the way you have been spending and allocating money changed yeah definitely and partly out of the gratitude and partly just out of necessity I'm much more mindful now than you know because there's no one else's income coming in that's gonna like create a buffer or whatever so yeah I'm much more mindful and I I mean I did have a bit of a period where things were all just so up in the air that I did get kind of lazy in

terms of my money behaviors and things like that and it was funny like I found myself starting to repeat some some old patterns of like oh okay so I'll go and do some online shopping like buying this new dress or buying this new shirt will fix this and like you know newsflash it doesn't that's never the thing in fact that makes you feel worse so yeah and I think for me it's about recognizing those patterns of behavior and being like no you don't that's not going to fix it you know like you say like you should put like 24 hours between a purchase so it's about doing that but then it's also about yeah like recognizing those patterns of behaviors and finding other things to insert there instead so you know instead of doing that I'm gonna like

paint my nails a different color maybe that'll give me the the boost that I feel like I need you know like and obviously you know I do my nails at home because who the hell can afford to go out and pay for that these days I was talking to the girl that did a blood test for me about that today she's like your nails look lovely where do you go and I was like girlfriend I am not going anywhere I'm not like please don't get me wrong if you're a nail tech you are worth the money but I cannot justify spending it on my fingers right now yeah that's me and so I think one of the things that's been more difficult with the money habits is trying to not like not actively and not in a way that's going to upset them but educating the kids a bit more about money because

because when it was two of us and my husband earned a lot of money and I was earning as well we didn't really have any like real barriers we and so if we said no to the kids it was because we made a choice to say no it wasn't that we couldn't afford it whereas now there are times where it's like no I can't afford that but I try to be really mindful in how I communicate that with the kids of like oh we haven't put money aside in the budget for this week or this month for that so we're going to have to think about how we do that and where we might get that money from and I think that's for me is more of it is like because I was married so young and in that relationship there wasn't that like oh my god we literally can't afford things very often which I

know is like crazy privilege 100% acknowledge that but now it's like oh no like we have to be really mindful about where our money's going and and things like that and trying to educate the kids about that like no you can't just have like that thing that you want that's going to be a birthday thing or a Christmas thing that's not just we just get that because we get that and I hope you know that will make them grateful like even this morning they um they have like a fundraiser on at school they needed a two dollar coin no one has coins I know I know exactly so I was like we'll have to go past the servo because I'll have to get some change from a note that I had and then they were like oh well we can just use our own no they whispered to each other

what's going on we're just going to use our own money and I was like no guys that's fine it's fine okay and so it's like I hope I'm not creating this fear for them around money of like you know mum can't afford things and so therefore we've got to pay for that but yeah I don't know the right way to do it I'm trying just not to make it stressful but trying to make them understand that like money is not infinite and we have to plan and budget you know yeah and I think that you're approaching it in exactly the right way like whenever I've had these conversations with other women going through these circumstances, I do say, try as much as you can to avoid language like we can't afford it. Not because that's a bad thing, because in certain circumstances,

we can't afford things. But more often than not, when you're communicating with children, we're not talking about not being able to afford the gas or electricity this month. We're talking about wants versus needs. And usually it's a want. And at that point, we can go back to, oh, honey, we don't have that in the budget, or that's actually not on the grocery list this week. Like let's try and add it next week or let's talk about where we can pull that cash from because they're crafting their own little money stories as time goes on and learning that, oh my God, like, you know, it could be a really good thing for them to be able to contribute to the fundraiser themselves and be like, wow, that actually really helps mum out,

not because of the finance, but because it's a whole other task to go to the servo. And if you've got two dollars there that's great we can do that and that's you know really really generous of you you're a very generous person and I think that it's those stories that you share and the narrative around that because a lot of the time now reflecting on the career that I've had and the beautiful people that I've got to experience throughout that career it's not how much money they had it never was it was how they were approaching that amount of money and some of the most financially literate people I know grew up next to poverty. Because I overlaid over all of that. When you're a mom, you just want your kids to have everything too. How does that play

into it for you? Because like, I want to give you all this stuff. And I think money for this generation is such an obscure concept. Like they don't see much money, so they don't really understand the value of things. And I think that's a really difficult one as well. Like sometimes, you know like if I'll say like something oh you know it's not in the budget this month you know I have to figure and sometimes you know my kids are like mom how much money do you have and I'm like that's a tricky question like you know how do you answer that to a six-year-old and a nine-year-old because yeah if you told them how much money I have that might sound like I have a lot to them because they're little kids but then if you also told them how much debt I'm in with

the mortgage that might be terrible like so you just I just don't want to make them afraid that like I don't have enough, but then you also don't like, cause you know, then kids go to school and people come home and go, my friend's dad's house costs $2 million. And you're like, okay. Oh my God. Yeah. And you're like, well, your friend's dad's in $6 million worth of debt and is kind of a drop kick. So yeah, kids don't get it. And I think that that's where, you know, obviously not trying to give advice, but just like clarifying questions are really helpful in those circumstances because like often kids come with questions and we as adults put this overlay of what we think they mean onto that how much money do you have mum and you might go oh my

god what an overwhelming question I now have to divulge my hundred plus thousand dollar a year salary if you just said for what they go for food like and you go oh you want to just talk about the grocery budget like do you know what I mean like it's so true it's like my daughter the other day because they're doing some stuff at school I think didn't they still watch like behind the news at school. Oh, triggered. And so my daughter has been asking me about Trump and like whether Trump is going to impact Australia. And I was like, well, anyway, and then I went into like a whole big, like 10 minute TED talk about how Trump may or may not impact Australian economy. And we're okay. Cause we've got other trade partners and we have free trade agreements now. She was

just like, mom, I don't understand what you're talking about. I was like, yep. Yeah. And if you'd been like, what do you mean? Like, what do you think Trump, you know, is going to impact? and she might go, food? Like it could be so basic. Children and my Labrador, the same, food, food, food. Yeah, 100%. So tell me what's next? Like I know I'm running out of time with you very quickly. What's next for you? I know you mentioned obviously another holiday, you would love to get a promotion and move up career wise, but are there any other goals that you're currently working towards? No, right now I'm just wanting to sit in my gratitude for what I have achieved. I'm actually really, really looking forward to a day that I hope is in the near future

where someone says to me, what's new, babe? And I go, nothing. Everything's just ticking along. Everything's just happy. And I'm just living life and just happy. So to be honest, like besides trying to save and take the kids on some holidays, like I just really feel like I've achieved so much of what I wanted to achieve with getting this like home for them. Yeah. To be honest, I mean I want to you know get back into like investing a bit more and stuff like that I think you know knowing that obviously I've got the super split that I will be getting is great like and that's a really good peace of mind thing for me but obviously that doesn't help things day to day like now that that's great for future me to know about but yeah to be honest for right now I would

just like a period of no big huge life changes or life goals you know what I think that's perfect sometimes we just want monotony. Like I just want tomorrow to be really predictable. And I think that's a really great place. Oh, Money Dice, it has been a pleasure catching up with you. And I just, we still haven't gotten to cross paths in person, but I just know that we're going to get along so well when we do, but it's been a pleasure. We need some spicy margs, I think. Oh, we need so many spicy margs. And like, then we can talk about all the juicy stuff that we might not want to put on a podcast, but Money Dressed, it's been an absolute pleasure. And I'm sure hopefully we can check in in another 12 months and be like, how's this going? What's

the update? You're officially divorced. Like let's have a party because content like this, while juicy, so spicy, right? Like so fun sometimes to be a listener. It is a beautiful story of coming through things that we didn't think we could ever anticipate. It is a story of, you know rebuilding after literally being smacked completely down and blindsided and I just I hope that through this content that we put out and these conversations that we have in jest about kids wanting food you realize that you too could do that if you're put in that situation and you too can rebuild your life and it be even better and you're thanking the universe 12 months ago for going through what arguably was something you did not ever ever ever want to happen

so I just thank you for sharing your journey with the community because I just know that there are going to be some of our community members listening to this being like I needed that so much more than I thought I did yes well yeah it definitely you can do it all you're stronger than you ever ever ever know but also have your own damn money great place to leave it the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.