She's On The Money - Money Talk Makes Me Nervous. Why Am I Ashamed?

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

POV: You outearn your partner. Should you be contributing more to things like shared costs, savings and goals because your income is higher? Or is there a more equitable way to split things? This week on Friday Drinks, Victoria, Bec and Jess discuss the ins and outs of relationship finances, especially when you have different attitudes towards money. From honest communication to the heavy money stories we carry, the gang explores how to build healthier financial behaviours while upholding the values of your partnership.  Oh and we finally learn which of the Powerpuff Girls V, Jess and Bec would be if they could choose. This episode is for you if you ever felt heavy or ashamed for having debt, and want a way to overcome this feeling. Update: This episode was recorded before the Fuel Excise extension was announced. While the initial discount was higher (E.g. Rather than being taxed 52.6 cents/L we were paying 26.3 c/L in tax), we will now be seeing a 16 cent discount and paying 36.6 c/L in tax; saving around $11 per 65-litre tank.  TRUSTED HOUSESITTERS: This platform was mentioned during Bec’s Broke Tips, check it out if you plan on making some extra coin while you travel – or finding a reputable sitter! A PLAYLIST FOR PAYING DEBT DOWN: Destroy that debt, baby. Here’s a playlist to help you learn how. HAVING DEBT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FAILURE: And we’ve got a blog to prove it. New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.    Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett (nartarshabamblett.com.au)   The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 4451289See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan. Mumu bangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's On The Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,

bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast that makes personal finances fun, especially on Fridays. Thank you for joining us for another episode of Friday Drinks, which is the time of the week where we get together to rejoice in our fabulous community,

from their money dilemmas right through to their money wins. I'm Victoria Devine, and with me today is the brilliant Bex Syed and the joyful Jessica Ricci. Okay. We are doing alliterative introductions today. I'm a big fan. Okay, you're welcome. And as per usual, we are bringing you the best broke tips

of the week, plus money wins worth celebrating. And let's just say that there are definitely a few things to celebrate, like a money dilemma where one listener is maximising their money goals and out-earning their partner. Sorry, what's the dilemma? We'll also be discussing a DM about the money shame that's often passed on through our families. I would say it's a tough one and we are definitely here to help you through it, my friend. If you'd like your money dilemma answered on the pod, what you're going to do is leave us a message by visiting the podcast page on she's on the money.com there's a little tab where you can leave us a voicemail and we love listening back to them all even the ones where you're just leaving us a voicemail and there are

no questions like i listen to all of them it is very very cute but speaking of listening back would you guys like to listen to a five-star review yes please we have recently run through all of our podcast reporting and while it's really nice to see the charts and the numbers and the graphs of all of it, not one thing beats hearing from you guys in person and reading your reviews. This one comes from our friend Teresa. Hi guys, love the show. I'm a teacher and was given a set of boring generic slides to teach students about money, credit and banking. I scrapped the slides and I used all of my shoes on the money knowledge to teach my students about how to open a bank account, how interest works and the importance of budgeting. My students said it was extremely

useful and they didn't even move when the bell went for the next class they oh i know right like do you remember packing up i was like five minutes ago i was airborne before the bell right but she said these are such useful life skills so thank you for all the knowledge that helps me to make a difference to the next generation oh theresa good job my queen you're the one making the difference to the next generation at least someone had done that for me when i was in school exactly No, that's really cool. And how often have we actually thought, why weren't we taught this at school? Well, you're out here doing it and supercharging the syllabus with practical examples.

Hell yeah. I'm obsessed to hear it. If you found our podcast helpful, insightful or educational even, my friends, we implore you, could you pretty please, with a dollar on top, leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. You can even email them to me. That's happened before. I'll take them however you are willing to give them.

Absolutely. Anyway, we've done it, guys. We've hit the classroom. You can tell my economics teacher now. She's made it big. That's huge. And she was a nasty pasty. So, my friends, are you ready for a question of the week?

This is a little bit of a change of pace because the question of the week is exciting. And can I just tell you that the team and I have been sitting on this one for the two of you, saving it for when we were able to answer it. and here is why. Okay. Jessica asks. Great name. If Vic, Jess and Bec were an iconic group of three,

aside from the finance angels that they are, would you be the Charmed Sisters? Oh, I love Charmed. Would you be Mean Girls? Would you be Charlie's Angels, the Powderpuff Girls or something completely different? Powerpuff Girls did jump into my mind when you said iconic trio. Shotgun Bubbles, obviously.

yeah like all yours babe yeah would you be what's the green one blossom no buttercup buttercup green and blossom by the red one oh okay i reckon that would be the red one i feel like i would be too yeah you've got a red earring always yeah i feel like that feels right i'm thinking powerpuff girls as well but who else would we be i did also love charmed charmed iconic show i had the dvd box set of charmed someone in our dms the other day said that our deep dives feel like Pinky and the Brain with like Beck and I and I was like that is awesome because like Pinky is so much fun and the Brain is a loser that's not true yeah but also like that dynamic is fun I can't think of any trios I can only think of duos I think that with trios

there's always one that everyone forgets like Destiny's Child is always like the other one do you know what I mean so I'm like we would be a trio yeah no one cares about Buttercup in the Bow to Buff Girls. Unfortunately, it's like Blossom Bubbles and the other one. Everyone knows Bubbles and the red one. But I think with our trio, we would all be known. Yeah, exactly. Guess what?

What? She's on the money. Yes, that's true. I'm going to go Charmed or Powerpuff Girls or she's on the money. I don't want to be Mean Girls. No. We could do it, though. No, no.

I just. Who would you be? Regina George. wait which one's Damien the guy who gives the pic I want my picture back I gotta tell you I have not seen a lot of movies I'm Glenn Coco you go Glenn Coco I would be the obviously the lesbian one at the very end Janice Janice yeah you're Janice I'm Janice um no one's allowed to be Regina George she's nasty she's too mean yeah yeah she's too mean yeah we can't endorse that Can I be Regina George's mum, though?

Oh, hell yeah. Oh, my God. Iconic woman. I'm not a regular mum. I'm a cool mum. I'm a cool mum. You guys need anything? All right, so what are we settling on?

I'm going team Powerpuff Girls. As long as I can be Bubbles. All right. Iconic behaviour, really. We love your questions, my friends. So please, please, please keep them coming. Send them on to us via our socials. Slip into our DMs.

Just honestly, make it interesting, just like Jennifer did. That's a great question. Thank you, Jennifer. All right, moving on from that. We need a moment for our money wins. Miss Jessica Ricci every single week gathers the best moments worth sharing on our main. Jess, where's our community winning at this week? All righty.

Firstly, Monique said her daughter's laptop died right before study period. She obviously needs it for uni. $1,800 to replace it, like for like. But she's decided she likes the MacBook Neo because it's lighter to carry. They offer a student discount, so it was only $749. What? And then she also got 2% cash back as well. That's pretty good for a laptop.

I know. And that's the one that comes in the really cute pink color. I've seen it online. So double money win. Very on brand. She's going to ask for a new work laptop. Give it a hot second. It's going to need to be pink.

Next, I've got a money win from Jade who said, I've managed to revamp my living room and dining room with floor-to-ceiling shears from Kmart, and it cost me less than $500. Excuse me? Kmart are doing shears? I know. And they look really good. Like, Jade's popped a photo in.

They look great. Oh, chic. Oh, my goodness. God, what can I do? I knew that Freedom was doing them. I didn't know that, you know, the bigger dogs were playing this game as well. And under $500 seems like, compared to the quotes I've heard, quite good. Next, I've got a money win from Natasha who said,

I was looking at the Q sale page and I was about to drop $150 on new pants for work, but I jumped on eBay and I got myself a brand new pair that still had the tags attached for $45, including shipping. Great. Money win. God, we love a secondhand bargain. Especially if you're looking for something specific and then you find it on eBay. There is truly no better feeling than when you find exactly what you want in exactly your size.

Yep. And the colour you want. I just bought a pair of Lululemon tights, brand new, with the tags, a colour that they don't have in stock anymore from like two seasons ago because I wanted this specific pink. If you know, you know eBay. Great. Money win.

Samara said, glue store is closing down. So she got $300 worth of nude Lucy jeans for $80. Money win. And then Hayley said money loss. We've just relocated from one rental to another because they were selling within a month and now this one we're in is selling as well. Oh, no. Which is just the worst luck in the world.

But she did have a money win. She said, I did our grocery shop for a family of five for under $100 this week. We shopped our cupboard, our fridge, and our freezer and got creative with the help of AI and freed up approximately $250 to go into our savings this week. Wow. Stop it. That's great.

That's phenomenal. Really well done. And last one for this week is from Jamie, who said, Money Win, over the weekend, my recently started cleaning business side hustle has now just broken even and I am officially in the green. Nothing like a bit of elbow grease paying off. I love that. Well done.

That's very exciting. Money Wins, I'm always in that thread. I'm always looking. I love reading them. I'm always snooping. And do you know what? The worst thing about Money Wins thread is sometimes it makes me a little bit impulsive because people are like, oh, this is on sale or I just got this cheat.

And I'm like, I want that too. Yeah. So like read with caution, my friends. As you guys also know, our community is exceptional at sharing their broke tips. Bec, you've got a pick of the litter this week. What tips do you have for us that you are willing to share and pass on? Okay. So this week I've got one from Georgia who says that she had her car serviced at Kmart, my car, and earned flybys points as well. So I don't know if you guys know this, but she says, after the service, I received an email with details of a promotion between Kmart My Car and Shell Ready Express Servos, where I can get 17

cents off per litre once a week for eight weeks. It gets better. The promotion can also be stacked with fuel discounts I earned through doing my groceries at Coles. So I saved 21 cents per litre and was still able to earn Flybuys points. Excuse me? Isn't that great? She's like a point stacking hacking queen. Hell yeah. Isn't that amazing? 21 cents off a litre. That's astronomical. Totally. And when, I mean, the petrol's okay now, which means it's even cheaper, but when it was like hectic, it's like you, it barely would have like touched her, you know? And I'm a little bit scared because I think that it's going to get worse real soon. Nah, sorry. I see. I see. Our fuel excise is lifting. Okay. Which means that we're not going to get that

discount passed on to us. And so it's going to get a little bit spicy. I see. Sounds modified. Yeah. So maybe you can take that tip, stash it in your back pocket, and start using it now. Great idea. Good idea. Okay, this next one comes from Danny who says, Joining Queensland Country Bank Smart Budget was the best decision I've ever made. We're able to transfer a set amount every week slash fortnight

to cover literally every single bill throughout the year with 100% full confidence all our bills are covered. They also put a 10% contingency on top of every bill, which then goes into your rainy day account. It's called Queensland Country Bank Smart Budget. So that's the full name of it. It's quite a mouthful. So if you're in Queensland, I'm assuming, just like check it out.

It sounds like, I don't know what the hell they're doing, but to be able to cover every single bill with 100% full confidence, I'm like, I've never ever in my life had that kind of confidence. That is what good budgeting is going to do for you. It is, but it's also this 10% contingency on top of every bill, which I have no idea what that means. That just means that they're adding 10% to every bill. They are?

Or the bank is? No, no, no. Oh, I'm sorry. They're budgeting and they're being told put an extra 10% aside because if something goes wrong, you'll have a contingency plan and you'll be okay. And that is what good budgeting is going to do for you, my friend. God, yeah, I love it.

And then my one for this week, my friends went to, I think, Argentina or something like that. Okay, nice. Actually, they did a big Europe trip, I should say. That does not sound like a money win. It doesn't, it doesn't. But they said that they barely paid for accommodation because they just like looked up.

there's a few of them but trusted house sitters is the one that they used and they just like genius went went around the world and in the house sat maybe they had to like feed a dog here or there but for the most part they were just like living in people's houses sorry that's my dream I know so cool so when I travel and I think you're the same Jess we just miss our pets like you go away and you're like I cannot wait for a two-week holiday and then I'm on the holiday and I'm like I wonder what Lucy's doing yeah I wonder if she's having a good time and I know she's fine but imagine getting a pet while you're overseas i know i would hug someone else's pet call me up if you live in london and you've got a bougie apartment i'ma come live with you and pat your dog and

sometimes you don't need to even take care of a pet because people just want someone in their house like make sure everything's okay in the while 100 so you might not even have any responsibility except for like i don't know not breaking their stuff i think it's a great idea i love that all right well we're about to take a really quick break but when we get back we'll be discussing a pretty pleasant money dilemma about earning well and wanting to know just how much to commit to as a money goal without overstretching. So guys, stay tuned. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here

to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Happy Friday to the girls at She's On The Money. I've tried to do this recording a few times. It's actually quite hard. Just looking for some advice. My partner and I have purchased a property together using his equity and my cash I do have a bit more spendable income than he does so I'm struggling a little bit trying to find balance between wanting to knock down these goals as quick as possible but also not trying to overextend myself

where I feel like I'm contributing significantly more than he is we both do have our own offset accounts but just looking for any other advice on how to balance this while still tackling these goals thank you I love this question this queen has more money than her partner big money win but also I just feel like it's it's a flex to be the female in the relationship earning more like don't get me wrong I want a relationship built on equity and like what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine, like in my household, right? Yeah. But low key in the background, just knowing that like the women are now becoming the breadwinners, like pop off queen. I love this. What do you reckon Jess, when it comes to maybe overextending yourself and not wanting to spend more on goals

than your partner is? I think for most people, there's going to be a situation where one partner is out earning the other. Like I think it's, it's just like the way of the world, who that is either way. But I think it's going to be very rare that you're both in a position where contributing the same exact amount makes the most sense financially. I would maybe look at doing it as a percentage of income. So, you know, you each contribute 20% of your income towards the goals or whatever. I think it is going to depend on how you approach finances. Like you've said, VD, that for you and your partner, everything is, it's our money, right? It doesn't matter who earns it or how much it is. It belongs to both of you. I understand that when you are, you know,

not everybody chooses to manage their money that way. That's not how my partner and I do it. It's not always the smartest decision. Yeah. And there's all these different factors that can come into it. So I think percentage base makes it feel a bit more fair because you do have to acknowledge that the person who earns more money is in a more comfortable position. It's just the nature of the beast. And so finding a way that you can contribute equal feeling amounts, I think is important. So nobody feels uncomfortable, but also, you know, if you are working towards shared goals, I'm of the mindset of well if you can get there faster like why not and you can put protections

in place I think it's important to think about worst case scenario we all know me I'm a catastrophizer so really if we're saving for a house deposit and you know you're putting in double what your partner's putting in can we put something in place to say that god forbid everything you know went fair-shaped that you're getting back what you put in so making sure you have those conversations you can formalize things in writing or speak to your legal counsel and stuff like that But I think ultimately percentages to me feels like a much more fair way to approach it. But again, it's totally up to you guys and the way that you handle money. There's really no right or wrong.

Yeah. I think like if it's renting or if it's any other like, you know, groceries and stuff like that, I feel like equity is so fun. Like maybe you can like pay most of the utility bills, spend most on the groceries, whatever. Whatever equity looks like in your relationship. But when it comes to this house, I would do the same. I would be like, oh, maybe I'll put like $2,000 and you put $1,000 per month. But I think just keeping track of that and, like, yeah, having something in writing so that if you do separate in the future and you need to, like, sell the house, then it's just, like, even if they turn to a really mean person and they, you know, fighting for, you know, more of it, it's, like, you have it in writing.

No matter what happens, you will get at least, you know, what you've put in, I think. So I think that just that part of it, just that portion of it, have it in writing the rest of your life. Equity, whatever, whatever, you know. Do it feels good. Do it feels good. What do you think? I think what you think like I and that's really hard and I know that this is you know a money dilemma because you're like how do I balance my money goals without overextending well I think

you need to step back and have some conversations without your partner just with yourself like what are your money goals what are you trying to commit to what do you mean by overextending like what does that actually look like are you saying that you're worried you'll commit too much to these goals and you've got other goals, well, then those other goals are important as well. So like, what do you mean by overextending? Does that make sense? Like, let's have a chat with ourselves and then take that knowledge into the conversations that we're having with our partner. Because if I'm just having conversations with my partner, right, he wants to go on golf trips. He wants to do things that I'm not that interested in, in that aspect. I mean, he'll probably say, oh, I want to

go on a family holiday. Great. I'm interested in that. Yeah. But if I'm not coming to that conversation with other things that I want to achieve well then we're just looking at the budget and divvying it up amongst the goals and then you know a year from now I'll be like oh but we haven't done anything for me well whose fault is that like and we're not playing a blame game but like come to the conversation being like oh I would really like to achieve a b or c or like your goals might look completely different you might say well actually I really want to save up and I want to buy a bike I want to get into cycling and you know this is what I'm budgeting like it doesn't matter what it is but come to the conversation with an understanding

of what overextending might look like because more often than not from my experience when people say they don't want to overextend themselves they might not actually have a specific goal in mind either they might just be like i just don't want to feel like i can't seize an opportunity victoria which is also fair we just need some wiggle room in our budget that means that we'll you know top up a savings fund for something in the future we don't know what that means we don't know what that's for but it just means that instead of budgeting you know you said before you do a thousand dollars a month well great maybe we do nine hundred dollars a month and I'm putting some aside for you know me to be spontaneous yeah so for me when people have always historically said

oh I don't want to overextend it's usually I don't want to commit to something because I don't know what else I might want to do. And that's okay. That's all right. Let's just make sure we've got some wiggle room in our budget so that, you know, the entire budget isn't your mortgage repayment and you can't do anything. Yeah. Does that make sense? Very good advice. Thanks. I made it up myself. Look, we stan a voicemail. I love hearing your voices in my ear holes, but we also accept your dilemmas in dm form and this one comes from one of our followers who writes hi guys my money dilemma is how do i become more comfortable with talking about my finances with my partner we've been together for 18 months and we are planning to get married next year my partner is very open

about his finances and wants to have a relationship discussion about our finances for the future i have twelve thousand dollars in savings but i have ten thousand dollars in credit card debt from a European holiday and I know I can hear Victoria's voice saying, well, actually you don't have savings if you have debt, which I totally get. That's so funny because that's what I was thinking. But I've read your book and have been making double the minimum payments each month and I make extra when I can. It was originally a $15,000 debt and I feel a lot of shame around telling my partner about this. As I'm embarrassed, I even got a credit card because my mum had multiple growing up and I actually had to declare bankruptcy when I was 16. Money talk makes me so

uncomfortable due to the upbringing that I've had. I still can't speak about money out loud and I feel so much shame. What do I do? Do you know what? I want to hug you. I know. I want to hug you. Do you know what? Relatable. I really feel like I relate to this person because I really crashed out the other day at my friends because I was trying to say that I'm in this position financially not purely because of the upbringing but that's certainly some of it the same way you like have your mannerisms or the way you view the world or every single thing I mean some things are what is it nature but a lot of things are nurture and so I feel like when you're talking to someone who can't or won't or you're worried that they won't fully understand where you've come from

and your journey and your relationship with money and you feel like they'll be dismissive or just not take everything into consideration or just not even be able to understand where you're coming from then it is really scary but I think that having an honest open conversation about like your relationship with money before I suppose even talking about money might help for me it's like the anxiety of knowing that the person won't really get it the feeling of feeling like sickness or something like or yeah just knowing that you might be misunderstood it's really not the money even it's just like hoping that they see all of you and your full story while talking about money you know and so I get that yeah yeah and it's like hopefully like if you're planning to get

married this person I'm sure they're quite understanding and empathetic and hopefully have the emotional intelligence enough to yeah kind of see you and see all of you and see your whole money story but I think talking about that first and and then talking about money because that will really help I think along the way I feel like when I was in this situation and maybe you'll resonate with this Bec and maybe even you Jess because you've been in debt before as well I don't want to be judged but I also don't want to be dismissed so like I want to be able to have a conversation and be like oh this is really hard for me but I don't want someone to say oh Jess it's not that deep don't worry about it because to me it is that deep like to me my debt carried

so much shame and so much like weight like I was up and I always say flippantly oh yeah it'll keep you up at 3am. Like, yeah, most nights, crying, upset, stressed, feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach, like not being able to function in some conversations because I felt so sick about money and was so distracted by those like thoughts that when I finally talk about it, how do I tell someone that? How do I go, oh, this doesn't distress me out. It's like all consuming and overwhelming. And then I'm worried, or I remember being worried, not only that somebody would judge me and be like oh I can't believe you do that but on the flip side someone will be like it's not that deep just get out of debt and you go oh it's not that there's so much more to it than that like

it's not that I'm there it's also that I still have these mindsets and I don't think I can pull myself out of this like it's the lack of self-belief and so you kind of like are hoping and this was me maybe that that conversation wasn't just met with like no judgment but it was met with like a help and a step up for like my own self-confidence. Like I wanted to walk away feeling empowered from those conversations. But you can't just say, hey, I want to talk to you about my debt and this is how I want to feel walking away from this conversation. Like it's hard to open up about those things.

And I think it is really common for people who grow up around financial stress to then avoid it because usually financial stress created conflict and we don't want conflict, right? Yeah. So Jess, what are your thoughts? I think like to flip the narrative around a little bit, your partner is doing exactly what we would recommend anybody do when planning to join your finances. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding, by the way.

Green flag. Very exciting. Huge green flag. Where's the green flag man running around with the giant flag? Like this is great. Like this is such a positive thing. I think the fact that he wants to have this conversation is like something that you should feel really good about.

Like it means he wants to be on the same page. He wants to open the door. he might have noticed maybe that there's a lack of comfort with having those conversations. Sometimes, you know, I think the three of us, because of what we do, like we're those people who are always very comfortable having these conversations. Sometimes you can tell when you try and have a conversation or money comes up colloquially with somebody, you can sense a little bit of discomfort. So maybe this is even like he's sensed a little bit of your discomfort and he's trying to open the door. And like, this is the step for that, which I think is awesome.

and that's really great. I think exactly as you guys were saying, like your feelings are valid and totally understandable, but at the same time, if this is the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, like they're going to see you in some compromising positions, you know, across the course of your relationship. They are really going to see it all. I wish someone had said that to me when I was trying to disclose to Steve

that I had debt and I just like ruminated on it. Yeah. That man's going to see me give birth. Literally, they're going to see you give birth. They're probably going to see you go to the bathroom. Like, oh, my boyfriend's seen how my hair, well, I vomited. Like, they see it all, right? Like, they're going to see you in much worse situations than baring your soul, I think.

And so if we can temper your emotions with the feelings of love that you feel for your partner and the sense of safety and security that I hope that they give you, I hope that that will just help you feel a bit more confident going in because you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You're also doing amazing. Like, you're paying down your debt. You have a plan. You have savings.

like you're in a really good position, honestly. And having this conversation will allow you to look at that. And maybe you might want to consider whether you use a portion of your savings to pay off a chunk of debt, or you might want to have a plan because you guys might have shared goals for the wedding or the honeymoon or whatever comes next for you guys. I think only positive things can come from having this conversation and you're getting married. You found your person. And I just hope that they give you that sense of support and love that you need to be able to lift this weight a little bit. Exactly.

Exactly. What did everyone else say? So I asked the community, is it common for people who grew up around financial stress to avoid talking about money out loud? 89% of you said yes. I'm surprised. Then we asked, would you feel hurt if your partner hid debt from you? 94% of you said yes.

Then we asked, have you ever hidden debt from a partner because you felt ashamed? This was not what I expected. So 26% of you said yes, 74% of you said no. I thought that that would be a little bit higher, not from a place of judgment but more from a place of like, I did it, doesn't everybody do this? Maybe I was just looking for some self-validation there and I didn't find it.

But then we went to the community and we said, all right, guys, what is your two cents? First person said, explain it to your partner like you just did here. Yeah, genuinely. They will get it. They will understand. Another person said talking about it makes you take accountability and that's the first step towards getting out of this situation. Another person said good debt and bad debt are very

different. Debt of a car is okay. Debt due to gambling, no, I think it would depend on the situation, which is so true. Like you're not going into this conversation being like, hey, I've fritted away all of this. And I mean, you could frame it however you want, but like, it sounds like you really wanted to experience a life event that you couldn't afford at the time. and you took all the tools and resources that you had and decided I'm going to go into debt for that and I'm really happy to pay that off later and that's all good for me yeah like you don't have to go into this and be like oh my god I have credit card debt no because like entering the conversation that way is going to purposefully position it to your partner that this is shameful

yeah let's position it as I had a holiday I'm still paying off and I've got this amount in the bank what should we do how are we going to fund life yeah like approach it how you want him to maybe approach it. The next is definitely talk to Victoria about just paying off your credit card debt from your savings. I didn't even mention it. You know what I think. But I also know that money is not inherently black and white. You might need an emergency fund. Yeah, you might need lots of things. And yes, on paper, the idea is to pay off that debt. You said you've got $12,000 worth of savings and $10,000 worth of debt. To me, you have $2,000 worth of savings. Pay off your debt. We're a clean slate. We're good to go. That's exactly what I would recommend. But your emotions are

layered over that. And that's okay. And maybe you're not ready for that decision to be made. And maybe that's not something you want to do. I get it. Like, I am not going to pretend that real life doesn't get overlaid over textbook perfection. But textbook perfection would say that you just wipe out that debt and start from a clean slate. And I would question why you're not doing that. So maybe have a chat to yourself about, why aren't you doing that? What's going on here? Why are you holding back? The next person said, I have two thoughts. I don't think it's shameful if you're prioritizing payments and addressing it. You're tackling this right now and traveling while you're young was worth the debt for me. I wish I had done more of it.

There you go. Another person said, if they are a loving and supporting partner, they would want to work towards a shared solution and then someone else and this will be my last one said telling my partner in the end was actually the best thing he helped me make a debt-free plan and now we are thriving gorgeous the future is bright the future is very bright and it's exactly what you want to make of it and my friend we hear you we see you and you know what sucks debt shame sucks even more so my friends unfortunately that is all we have time for today if you enjoyed this episode please send it around because the more friends we have the better when it comes to she's on the money also have a little think about sending us a money dilemma or a question of the

week or even a little cheeky review my friends take care of yourselves and of each other we'll see you on monday with a fresh money diary bye guys bye the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.