She's On The Money - My Husband Left Me 6 Months After Having Twins.... And We Had A $50k Debt

Episode Date: July 13, 2025

Ever felt like your whole life got flipped without warning? Like one minute you're managing work, babies, bills... and the next, everything's on fire? This week's Money Diary is for anyone who's had to start over when they really, really didn’t plan to. The same week our diarist returned to work after maternity leave, her husband left (over text!!!) for another woman, leaving her with six-month-old twins and half of their $50K in debt. But after all that heartbreak, what follows is the kind of ending that makes you think: "That breakup? Honestly, best thing that ever happened to you." We're talking career glow-ups, investing wins, serious boundary-setting, and a new partner who proves the good ones do exist. This one’s for anyone who needs a little reminder that your worst moment might just be your turning point. Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+. And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan, mumubangaraboma ininyalan waka, gaunonyakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people, we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools

knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits for educational purposes of course welcome back to another one of our money days where i get the absolute pleasure of sitting down to talk with one of our beautiful community members all about their journey let's jump straight into it because i got an email this week and it sounded exactly like this. Dear She's On The Money, the same week I returned to work after maternity leave, my husband walked out on me and my six-month-old twins for another woman and we were in $50,000 worth of personal debt at the time. Now, three years later, I'm investing,

I'm saving and I'm earning more than $100,000 a year all with a fabulous new man and with many thanks to She's On The Money. We are now planning another baby and we are loving life. I want to share my story and show other women that you too can turn your life around when somebody else throws it into turmoil. Money Dice, welcome to the show. Thank you. What a wild ride. That is chaos. Yes, it was a time of my life that I really didn't see coming and now I'm in a much better position in I think every aspect so it was really a blessing in disguise um I don't know if I'd call it a blessing in disguise like when I was six months postpartum I was still chaos like my hormones still hadn't balanced like I was not feeling my best self I don't know what your

postpartum journey was like but like I was struggling with breastfeeding I was anxious I was all of these things as a first-time mom and girl you had two babies you had two I only had one and I was finding that challenging. And then your husband was like, by the way, I've been cheating on you. What the hell? Like, girl, what the hell? I'm so sorry. Yeah. Well, I didn't actually realize he was cheating. And that was, I think the crazy thing. I just got a text message saying, I don't love you anymore. And don't be home for the next few hours because I'm moving my stuff out. Excuse me, what? Yeah. So my mom was actually the one that said, I think there's another woman. And I was like, don't be ridiculous. Stop, stop, stop. All right. All right. I have to

ask you before we get into it because I need all this juice. Money Darius, what grade would you give your money habits from A3 to F? A C. All right. I feel like a C, very warranted, but can we please get back into the gossip side of this? Oh, so your mum goes, girl, I think that there's another woman and you were like, that's crazy. Absolutely not. I was just thinking, why would he have the time for that? I've got twins with him. Isn't life chaos? But maybe the extra overtime shifts that I wasn't looking at the perceived money coming into the account weren't actually being worked. Stop it. Stop it. What an actual piece of shit. Yeah, it was a really strange time. I'm not going to lie. I'm so glad he exited your life, like even though that would have felt

terrible. So what happened? So he, this guy didn't even have the balls to sit you down and be like, hey, money diarist, this is what's going on. He texts you. Yeah. He said he was staying at a friend's house and he forgot that his iPhone location wasn't turned off. So then in the end, we worked out that that was the case and that he was actually at a woman's house that he was working with. No, stop it. Stop it. What did you do? I just basically said, don't bother coming back ever again. Like that's it. You're done. Girl, you seem so much nicer than me. Like I'm just telling you right now, I think I would end up in jail. I just don't think I had the mental alone that was really a saving grace in that situation and you're probably looking back and

being like why wasn't I crazier like I know but I mean realistically who's laughing now rewind I want to know so you fell pregnant with twins what was that like because like as someone who has been pregnant oh my goodness when they said it's a single baby I was like oh like twins would have been magic, but like, thank God. Yeah. So I was off work for about 10 weeks prior and it was during COVID times as well. So I was being extra cautious. So I spent 10 weeks sitting at home before I had my babies waiting for that to happen. And then they came right at 37 weeks. So I was really lucky. Hey, that's very good for twins. Really good. Yeah. We had a very crazy birth story. I ended up on life support in

intensive care. It was really not what I expected at all. Are you okay now? Yeah, absolutely fine now. Totally fine now, thank goodness. But just really not what I'd planned. You know, really wanted a natural birth. That didn't happen. I ended up having a cesarean, which is okay. But yeah, just like a whole lot. I had the same thing. I mean, I definitely didn't end up in life support, but it's interesting how much pressure we as women put on ourselves. Because had you had a conversation about birth with me before I was pregnant I was like oh it doesn't matter like I was a cesarean baby no one knows the difference like I was a cesarean formula baby like like that's fine like you say all the right things right you go fed is best happy mom safe mom safe

delivery safe baby all of that stuff and then all of a sudden you get pregnant and you just have this craving for a natural birth and you're like I just want to be able to give my babies the best start to the life what's that even mean exactly that's right and I think there's so much pressure put on that. And in a lot of ways, I felt lucky because I didn't feel that pressure as much being twins. I felt like I had a lot more of a choice in that space, but I can't imagine people that have one baby that they really don't feel like they can advocate for themselves in that space. No. And like, I look back on it and, you know, when I had my baby, I was very lucky. I got invited on Australian birth stories and I never went because I just wasn't ready to talk about

my birth story. I didn't want to share it. It's not because I was embarrassed of it. It's honestly because it upset me so much. And it was because I didn't get what I wanted. And the more that I reflected on it and, you know, spoke to people and, you know, I had the privilege of being surrounded by a lot of people with a lot of knowledge, it gets more and more upsetting. And I'm sure you had a similar story where people go, what happened next? And you go, oh, this. And they go, oh, they shouldn't have done that. And you go, what do you mean? What do you mean? Like, you mean I should have said no there or I should have suggested something else or I should have asked for more. Anyway, it became quite a reflective period of

time for me where I was like, you mean I could have probably prevented this? And your situation very different, but like you end up heartbroken. And I don't know about you. I'm delusional enough to think that next time I have a baby, I'm going to get a VBAC. I've somehow, why? No reason. I'm just full of delusion. So tell me about this. You're on life support. How does that happen? so we ended up having an emergency cesarean like a very very quick one it was like a full-blown emergency they had to get the second twin out really really quickly because the cord had come out so straight up to a cesarean which was okay and I'm kind of in this field anyway so I had a little bit of understanding about it wait sorry did you have a vaginal birth and a cesarean no

thank goodness I was about to be like did you have a cesarean for the second one because that is That was the possibility. But no, so I guess in a way, thank goodness, it was the top twin that the cord had come out first. So both were just delivered by a Caesar. And then, yeah, during that Caesar, they cut through the artery and didn't know it at the time. And then I went back recovering. That literally should have killed you. Yeah, that's right. So yeah, over the next few hours, I started becoming, I had, you know, lots of pain and they kept saying, you know, but oh, it's only because you've had a seizure. The epidural is wearing off. And I'm like, no, this is really different. And then they just said, basically, in the end, because I had so much extra

fluid, it was kind of compressing the artery. And that's why it wasn't just gushing out. So yeah, in the end, I went back up for a second surgery where they went back in, closed up the artery, and then woke up the next morning on life support in intensive care, just as they were taking the you about to wake me up. Are you okay? Fine now. Absolutely fine now. Mentally fine. Cause I feel like you would carry a lot of trauma from that as well. Like that is not what you went in for. No, I think because I'm a nurse as well, I look at it very pragmatically and I think in lots of ways it helped my nursing. So I think I deal with it that way, but it's only now that my partner and I are starting to think about having another child potentially that it is like, Oh, okay. I

might actually have to deal with this a little bit. Yeah. Maybe I do need a little bit of therapy and I can't just keep saying I was fine. Exactly. That's right. That's right. Oh my goodness. All right. So talk to me a little bit more about your money story. So we know that your husband walked out on you and your six month old twins for another woman, but like you were in $50,000 worth of debt. So can we go back to that time? And you talk me through like, you know, you fell pregnant did you mean to fall pregnant why were you in debt what did that look like talk me through that sitch yeah so I was really young when I got married and I think I was just a little bit like rose-colored glasses and maybe a little bit naive so at the time I thought yep this is what I want

and I think I definitely did but you know the twins were what the baby was planned to end up being twins but you know for kind of the years leading up to that it was always like this idea of money being like the next shiny object and you know as soon as like it was a new car and then it was constantly just like new new new and then yeah I don't want to say like manipulated because I think that's too strong of a word but maybe not having like the money understanding really played a factor into like my really early money decisions yeah and that's okay that's good reflection as well yeah so I think definitely as I've gotten older it's been a much more of an understanding of where my values are and I think my new partner is very much in line with what my values are now

so that makes money conversations just so much easier I adore that I feel like this is really a story and we haven't even gotten even halfway through it like is a story of like life happens for you even though that that was like a really terrible thing to go through like you're clearly happy I can see when you said my new partner like you have that smile where I'm like oh my god they're so in love I love this so the crazy thing is when I met my partner we both were from like a major city and then we moved to a regional town so I moved up you know many many years ago and he moved up a little bit more recently so we met up here online and you know just were kind of getting to know each other and on about the third or fourth date we worked out that our mums worked

together no stop and we're best friends for like 20 years oh my goodness that's so big like six degrees of separation but I was like wow not even six just one yeah that's exactly right it was just wild so yeah it was really meant to be I think so obviously all of that happens talk to me about what happens to your finances when your husband walks out on you because I just feel like I can't imagine a situation like that because you went back at work were you I had just gone back for literally that week when it all happened. Yep. I went on to a night shift. Oh, so we timed it perfectly. Thanks, sir. Right. Exactly. And I think maybe looking back now, it was that, you know, he was going to have

to be there when I was at work. And then how was that going to work? Because he couldn't just say he was at work is my hypothesis. And that's why it probably came out when it did. Yeah. Wow. And like, did you find out anything more about this? Because I'm always so pervy, I'm sorry and I know everybody else listening is going to be like girl was he doing this the whole time you were pregnant was it like a new romance like did you ever find out any information no and I guess I don't really want to know they're still together so they are it's like yeah let that go and just you know move on do you know what they deserve each other that's fine that's fine because you and I both know babe she knew about you and she knew that you had twins and that says

so much more about her than it ever could about you he can keep her that's fine exactly so I was like sure and now I look back and I'm like wow I dodged a bullet may they have the days they deserve yes exactly so tell me a bit more I want to know what do you do for work how much money do you earn so I work in health care and pre-tax I'm on about 110,000 oh very nice yeah so I made the decision to go back full-time for mostly financial reasons but also for my career that if I wanted to kind of progress with my career it really looked like being full-time in that space that it was just kind of too difficult otherwise so now I've got an amazing job and I just love it. I adore that talk to me so you went back when your twins were six months old was that part-time or was that

full-time like how were you managing that because like a lot of people will say that's oh that's so soon to go back to work but like low-key for me personally I was back at work quite early because I just adore what I do and I couldn't wait yeah um it wasn't like a decision I guess that I could make it was because I had to take so much time off prenatally yeah okay that really cut into like my maternity leave there so I went back like earlier than I guess I would have wanted to and obviously working for government I was already really lucky that I had you know extra maternity leave on top of what other people get already and I went back five days a fortnight into shift work so that was really difficult and then kind of went into this role that I'm in now and then

progressed up in the last like 18 months two years to full-time. Oh iconic and so tell me how old are your twins now? They are nearly four. Stop it, stop it and it goes so quickly. It really does they've just come into a lovely new stage and they're really different little people and it's just amazing to watch their growth. I adore that so much. So talk to me a bit about your big money goals. Like you've got a great salary as what we'll call right now a single mom. Like, cause like you're technically a single mom. You'd still be, I'm assuming somewhat co-parenting and doing all of that schmuzzle and you do have a new partner and we'll get to talking about him in a hot second. But like what big money goals have you got at the moment? I actually think

I'm a little bit lost there. I don't really have huge money goals and I think that's why I'm struggling to save. So, you know, I'm sure we'll get into it later. I think I'm really good at dividing up the money and putting it where it needs to go. But in terms of actually like what is my goal? Well, you know, like I want to go on some holidays and that kind of thing, but I don't really want to buy a house. I'm in a house that I'm renting like privately off my parents, which I'm really privileged to be able to do that. That's a different situation again. Yeah. Yeah. And I just don't really want to buy any kind of investment property. I'm not handy in any way. So if something goes wrong, I just kind of see it as a money pit. So yeah, I would say

holidays, but again, I don't really have something solid and I think that's the issue. Yeah, no, that's fair. And I feel like when you don't feel like you have a sense of direction, there's a very big, like why bother kind of mindset. Like why would I bother continuing to save? Because often saving feels a little bit restrictive when I could just live my life and not put that pressure on myself because I don't have anything big that I'm currently working towards. Yeah, absolutely. So tell me a little bit more. You mentioned before, like, you know, I don't have a house. I'm renting off my parents. I'm so pervy. I'm so sorry. I just got to know when your husband was like, don't come home for the next few hours because I'm moving out.

Was that in the same house that your parents owned? So he definitely had to leave and it wasn't just like he could leave you high and dry. What happened then? Yeah, so that was in the same house. So that was really lucky in that respect, because, you know, I guess I was still stable. The twins never had to leave a house they were familiar with either. So that was really, really lucky. Yeah, you would have felt a little bit more grounded during that period of time. And then financially, what did you do? Did you have to take on the full amount of rent and all the bills?

And like, or did you have like some, I don't know, it sounds like your parents are relatively well off. Like, how did that work? I'm just being so pervy because I cannot imagine the financial burden that you would have felt you were under at that point in time. Yeah, it really was maybe less than a year later because I met my new partner a lot quicker than I actually anticipated I'd meet anybody. And then when we realized the connection that we did actually kind of, the families knew each other, I think it moved a bit quicker then because it was like, oh, I can trust you. His rent was up in like

pretty much a year after we met anyway so he moved in but for that year we had to you know like my now husband and I moved in within 12 months of meeting like and a lot of people think that that's insane and we didn't have kids or anything involved but like I remember and this is so creepy money diarist I feel like I've said it on the show before we literally talked on our first date about our wedding dance song because we were kind of like and that's the weirdest biggest red flag in the entire world right anybody from the outside looking and would have been like these guys crazy. Sorry, it was our first dance. That was just what happened. Exactly. So I feel like when you know, you know, like I genuinely don't think that time is an indicator of how much

you love someone. No, I think it was really like an aha moment that I was like, oh, this is what it's meant to feel like. Oh, I genuinely, it makes me so happy. And I know that a lot of people in your life were probably a little bit negative and probably like, oh, she's moving on so quickly. shut up judgey Karen like I'm just so excited that you didn't have to revel in that feeling for too long and you met someone who like kind of picked up your spirits and made you happy and like that's exactly what you deserve right absolutely yeah and he really just yeah it was amazing in that way oh I love that and I mean sorry give me a better man like I don't even know this guy he's meeting you met online you've got twins and he's like yeah throw it at me yeah well first date

I just laid it out on the table and I was like, look, I've got baby twins and I just need you to know that because that's okay if you don't want to go there. And he's like, oh, that's not really an issue. What a legend. You just know he's a good guy. So talk to me about this baby goal, because clearly you and Mr. You, you like each other enough to move in together and you like each other enough to be talking about having another baby that makes three babies for you would you say that's a big money goal that you two are working together on yeah absolutely I guess yeah when you put it like that there is things to work on but I'm very like black and white I guess in the way that I'm like well then what does that cost so what am I actually saving and how much a

week do I have to put away towards that and I think that's why it doesn't just click in my mind Yeah. And it's really hard or I found it when I was budgeting for a baby. It's just really hard to work out, well, what do I want? And a lot of the baby stuff is want, not a need. And then are we going private? Are we going public? And I'm assuming given your history, you would probably be categorized as a high risk pregnancy the second time around, especially because you had twins. And then you probably, I'm just extrapolating this out. You probably have to be careful when you do get pregnant because there's a higher probability you're going to have twins again. there's just a lot to take into consideration. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's why.

Sorry to scare you. By the way, have you thought of this? Surprise. I think it's definitely all things that are coming to the forefront of our minds now because it's kind of thinking, oh my goodness, this could happen really soon. Oh, so when you say really soon, is this a goal where you're like, oh, we're going to try in a year? Or is this a goal where you're like, you know what, if I'm pregnant right now, that would be ideal correct yeah I mean whatever happens happens we'll just see how we go yeah okay I love that I'm so excited and I'm like sending so much baby dust your way let's go to a really quick break because girl I have so many questions and we'll get to them in a hot minute

all right money diarist we are back and this has been a roller coaster of a story like the idea that your husband walked out on you with six month old twins I told you that I would probably end up in jail I would love to smack him in the face sorry oh I think get in the line there's been quite a few people that have said that to me I think you and your mum like no me and your mum we're gonna line up together like we've just got this I just it ignites something in me because you were already so vulnerable during that period of time and I just that to me oh it makes me so mad but I want to go back before I ask you about investment like he said hey girl I'm out and he also didn't have the balls to tell you that he texts you

don't come home because I'm moving out but you had $50,000 worth of debt at the time what was that for how did you guys get into that debt and then how did you get out of it? So it was primarily like new cars so you know we'd buy a car and then within like a year it was like oh no I don't like this car anymore we need to upgrade and then there was some consolidated debt but it was all in the one car loan in the end like as a personal loan I believe and then we kind of had this rolling debt that just kept getting bigger and we weren't actually getting on top of it so that was with one car and then we had an old car that was costing nothing that we owned outright like a 2002 kind of car that's still newer than my car was and I had to upgrade mine when I had a baby but like

mine was from 1997 sleigh there you go and when you get one of those golden nuggets like sorry you hold on to them you do not let them go no that's right and it was so nice to have one that didn't cost any money so we had those two cars and then basically when as soon as he left one of the things my parents said to me first was make sure you don't take on the fancy car like you you one you can't afford it and two you don't need it and I was like absolutely I don't want that. I actually feel more comfortable driving the old car anyway. So that was a decision that we made and I got a lawyer involved really quickly and that was able to be drawn out really easily to say, you have this car, you have this car and that's it.

Yeah. And was he agreeable during this period of time? Because like he said, hey, I'm going, but there's obviously like debt and cars and assets to work out. Like how did you work that out and have amicable conversations with someone that you didn't even see a divorce coming from? To be honest, we didn't really have amicable conversations about it. In the end, I ended up just saying everything through my lawyer because then I knew that I was back and I could take any emotion out of it and that it was just being dealt with. She knew my interests. She was amazing. It was just done that way. Yeah. Iconic. I just, I can't believe you had to go through that. I'm so sorry. Talk to me about investment though. What are your thoughts on investments? Do you invest?

what's the plan for the future so thanks to you guys I'm using raise which stop I never ever thought was even a thing like I'm a bit like look at me who's this girl investing so I'm a bit like crazy I think with it because I've got my roundups and then I put a hundred dollars a week into that on top of the roundups and I just watch it grow and every day I check to be like oh it went off a it it's kind of yeah a bit addictive like yeah it's like I've tried to explain it and I feel like this is a very poor explanation but I feel like people get it it's like the same feeling that people get when they gamble I get when I invest I'm like oh I've got to check my app I've got to check my app yeah you feel like it's a little bit it's not as risky though it's like

good for your future but at the same time I'm like this is a game this is really fun yeah like every day almost I look at the projections for like the next 20 years and they don't change that much, but I'm still like, oh, I can't wait. Exactly. I love that view. So you've started Raise. What's your super looking like? So I've got almost 70,000 in super. And then obviously being a government worker really helps. And you're only 28 as well, aren't you? Yes. That is so good. Yeah. So we talked really briefly to a financial advisor. It was just on the background of like some family. So not a formal kind of sit down. And he suggested as soon as my HECS is paid off, which will hopefully be after this financial year at the moment,

we will be able to increase our superannuation into that and our contributions. But he just suggested waiting until the HECS is paid off just so it doesn't alter anything at the moment. Yeah. And girl, you're so young still. You've got heaps of time to sort that out. That is so fine. Yeah. So that's been really exciting. And I just need to consolidate two accounts because when I actually looked at this to see what my super was at. I realized. I feel like that's really intelligent to kind of wait and just do one thing after another, especially because like, girl, I'm sorry, you are still so young. Like you've just got so much time ahead of you to do this. And it just makes me so excited. And like, what a better time for your husband to leave.

Like, if you're going to do it, do it now, sir. Like just get it done, rip the bandaid off. I'm going to find a new, better partner and I'm going to go ahead and make another baby. Slay. Yeah, we actually spoke to the lawyer about, you know, getting a portion of his super because obviously I'd just been on maternity leave and everything. But to be honest, in the end, it was all just kind of too hard. And I was like, I don't even want to be tied in that way. Just let it be. Yeah. I don't even want your stuff. Just, do you know what? See yourself out, mate. Oh, ew. But you know what Beck said about, you know, once it's in like an investment account, it's like not your savings, but you can't touch it. Yeah. That's a hundred percent. So I feel like

I'm kind of using that as a savings account not that I really want to but no but like it does feel like it's like that additional degree of separation that I feel like you need like you know when people like oh I always dip into my bank account like I find that those people do really well with investment accounts because like once it's quote gone into that account they're like oh it's too much admin to get it back out and it's not really mine anymore and it's kind of performing and I wouldn't want it to stop performing yeah and I hate seeing the little dipped out on the graph. Yeah, it'll ruin your graph. That's right. So simple things like that, I'm like, I can't touch it. So I had Raise and I still have Raise because I just do like little

roundups here and there. And as you guys know, I don't know if you know this, but I'm obsessed with finance. So I have Raise, I have Spaceship, I have Sharesies. And I once sold down my Raise portfolio because it got quite high, but it's not my main investment account. And I'm like, okay, it's like kind of high. I'm going to like sell this down and put it into my Sharesies account. I sold it down and I still look at the graph and I like see the really big dip of when I sold down. And now it's messed with my performance because it says, you know, you've cashed out here. And I'm like, no, stop judging me. I reinvested it. I promise. Like I wish there was like a bigger app that like showed me my overarching. They could look at everything.

Yeah. I'm like, no, I promise. I promise my returns are better than that. I actually put into something else. Anyway, talk to me about debt. So you got out of this debt by essentially leaving it with your husband. He got the car, he organized all of that. Do you have any other debts? Yes. So we do have a credit card that we're paying off, but I've transferred it last year to an interest-free period one. So we're paying more off that than we need to, and we'll pay that off by the end of next year. So that has $14,000 purely from one, making some not great financial decisions, thinking like in my mind, I'm still on a full-time wage, but I wasn't. But also thinking like using it for points, but then like stupidly not factoring in like the interest and

things. So that credit card's gone and we are using just the other one to pay it off and we don't even have a card for that, which has been really helpful. You've got to be so careful when you like sign up for things for points. It can be really great, but we really need to make sure that every single month you go in and you pay off that balance in full because it can add up really quickly. And I can almost guarantee when you got that credit card, you didn't want to get in $14,000 worth of debt, did you? No, not at all. Like it was always just like, oh, this will be a helpful tool. And then all of a sudden you haven't used it correctly. And you're like, oh, this is going to take us a year and a half

to get out of. Yeah. And I had the direct debit set up, thought, you know, it's paying it off. But then I guess, yeah, looking back now, I don't know why I wasn't looking at the time, but you know, in my mind it was being paid off. And then when I opened the app one day, I was like, oh my goodness, like literally none of it was paid off. It was all in interest. Yeah, it happens honestly to the best of us, but that's why we have to always talk about this stuff and always like be on top of it because I'm glad it didn't spiral even more out of control for you. Now, I've picked up on some language that I want to dive into. You said we, you said us. Are you sharing finances with your new partner? Yes, we are now. Talk to me. How did

that happen? What did that look like? So, it happened a little while after moving in because it ended up just becoming, you know, like, oh, do you want me to pay for groceries or should I pay for the electricity bill? Like, and then in the end, it was actually his suggestion that it was like well you know why don't I just contribute to this but you know obviously I had twins that I had to support as well and he was like but I'm living here and if I didn't want to take them on then I wouldn't have moved in oh my god I love him for you yeah so we ended up joining our finances which just made it so much easier because now I could take full control of it he can see everything and access everything but he doesn't want to know he doesn't really care it's just you deal with it

because you're organized stop it this man I am just so happy for you girl like you deserve all of this and more so on average what is your new partner earning pretty much exactly the same yeah okay so it's like 50 50 and then I was about to say how are you splitting costs for your kids like what does that look like or is he literally like no sorry like you guys are a package deal like how is he dealing with this? Yeah, exactly. Yep. So we just have everything. Yeah. 50, 50. And it seems to be working out. I think, you know, I, I kind of say to him maybe every few months, you know, are you sure you want to keep doing this? Like you're paying for, you know, childcare fees and everything. And he's like, yeah, of course I do. Why wouldn't I?

Oh my God, this man, you know what? Every single mom deserves one of these guys to go rock on into their lives so does your ex-husband in any way support your children like financially like what does that custody split look like so he has them two nights a fortnight he pays like the government child support recently that dropped to zero a month because he said that he'd lost his job yeah sure he did which I don't think so but anyway and then now he pays me 120 a month that's his child support and that is it so he's paying $60 per child a month a month and he probably thinks that's so much money to give you yeah so I've said a few times you know can you contribute to daycare costs can you contribute to swimming lessons anything you know that it's not

deemed you know shelter and food and water basically and it's just that you know this is why I pay child support wow that's nice for him and he just has them like one weekend a fortnight Yeah, that's right. And that's it. And are they usually just like consecutive days? So it's like two days and then they're back with you? Yeah, that's right. And he probably always wants it on the weekend though, because that's the most convenient for him as well, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, he actually asked, can he have them through the week? Because then, you know, he's child support. He wanted them pretty much every daycare day. And I said, oh, okay, you could, but does that mean you'll be paying daycare fees? And he said, no, I can't afford that. Sorry. So I would pay for the care on the day that you're meant to be caring for them? I don't think so. Yeah. And then your care percentage will go up that much that I'd actually be paying you as well. So it's just very sneaky. I don't think so. Do you know what, girl? It sounds like you

have dropped some serious dead weight. And like, you might not have seen it at the time, but I don't know who in the universe was looking out for you. They were like, girl, we need to dodge a bullet. This is going to be really painful. It's going to be the worst period of your entire life. But I promise everything gets better from here. Yeah. And because it got better so quickly after as well. I think like my, like I saw the sudden, it was just crazy, this feeling that I was like, oh yes, somebody was watching out for me. Absolutely. Oh my goodness. I'm so glad, but also like no one deserves to go through that. So I'm like upset you had to go through it. But at the same time, I'm like, this guy needs to get in the bin. Talk to me though. What do you think

your best money habit is? Cause earlier in the episode, you said I'm really good at like segmenting things and putting them in the right accounts. Is that your best money habit? it? I would say so. So I've got UpBank and I've got like eight buckets in my UpBank. Okay, Jessica Ricci. I love it. I hear Jess talk and I'm like, oh yeah, that's me. She's got like 18 at the moment. It's actually insane. So I have like an emergency fund that I just put, you know, direct debit into each week. And then I've calculated like the yearly car expenses. So all of that money goes in and we never have to dip in. But I only actually started that after she's on the money, because I was just like, I'm never getting back into credit card debt. And

this is how it's going to be. So sometimes my partner will be like, why do we have so much money leaving the account on our payday? Like, can't you just stop that direct debit? I'm like, no, no, it's not like we don't lose the money. It's actually organized and planned. And the reason it leaves that account is so that it doesn't leave the rest of our accounts. Yeah. And you know, like I pay extra on the electricity bill each week as a direct debit. so then it's like a little bit of a surprise if we're going away then I've got credit of like $500 and I just pull that and it's like oh that's a nice little treat yeah that's so smart and I feel like you know if you're putting extra especially into your electricity bill when

you can afford it then winter comes and that like electricity bill that has escalated because you left the heater on a few times longer than you should have doesn't sting nearly as much like no exactly yeah it just feels nice to have it there it's like smart planning I think I've said this on the podcast before, but probably years ago, my mom always used to tell me like when I was going on a holiday, she could be like, go and buy yourself a gift card and like make it like $100 that you can spend at like 7-Eleven when you get home on fuel so that you don't come home and have no money and can't afford fuel for your car. And I'm genius. Like it just feels like a little treat when you get home. You're like, oh, I planned for this. I love that. That's amazing.

Yeah. Cause like you don't want to come home and then you're like, oh my God, I have to put like a hundred dollars worth of fuel into my car. This is crazy. I can't avoid it. Straight back into life. Yeah. Yeah. But it just feels like a little treat. And because you spent it, and this is delusion again at its peak, because you spent it before you left on holiday, it feels like it was free money. Absolutely. Right. It wasn't really mine anyway. Yeah. It's like when I pack away my winter coats, if I have like a spare $10, I always like stuff it in one of the pockets because I know like future me will love that.

Yeah, absolutely. So dumb. And do you know what? Every single time I forget I've done it. Like I'm the queen of deluding myself. You do it every year, but it's still amazing. Yeah, I literally do. I pulled out a coat the other day and I was like 10 bucks. And my husband was like, you did that to yourself. And I was like, let me have this. I think like another good money habit that I have is like, I love a haggle. So I love to get the best price. Like if I could haggle with coals, I absolutely would. So a few weeks ago, I had a broke tip that was on the podcast from haggling. Oh, did you? Yeah, it must have been really good.

Yeah. So I was like, oh, it just felt like such a win. And I would just never try and pay full price, especially big ticket items, if I can help it. Why not? Everything's negotiable. If you don't try and negotiate it, it's not negotiable, is it? That's exactly right. They can only say no. And then what? You say, thanks so much for considering it. No worries. Yeah. And I'll just pay anyway because I have to buy this. I need the item. Yeah. It was worth a crack. So tell me, what do you think your worst money habit is? So I think the incidental spending, I know that I need to print out my bank statement and

highlight it. And I've read the book and I've listened to the podcast and every time I'm like, yeah, I need to do that. But that's really, I think where the money's going. So I'll try and be organized and, you know, do a meal plan for the whole week and then buy one set of groceries. but then, you know, the milk's run out midweek. So then I go and it's like, oh, maybe we should get some garlic bread with dinner. And then before you know it, it's $50. How does that happen though? Like genuinely, I popped past the supermarket last night and this is like, this is niche mum content. I picked my son up from daycare. It was like right on six o'clock, which is like witching hour for us. Like if I don't feed my son,

once we get back from daycare, all hell is going to break loose. Right. But I knew I had to go to the supermarket. So I like get him. Annoyingly, he'd fallen asleep in his bloody car seat. So I'm like, oh, I'll get the carrier out because he's going to be a pain. So I get the carrier out. So I'm carrying this baby around. I'm thinking in my head, this is good because I have to go straight in, get what I need and leave. Still somehow $50. What? How does that happen? How does that happen? Like I only got like a few basics and things that I needed literally not even for me like I needed soap I needed new bread baby yogurts because we were out of those and by the time I'd done baby yogurts and also formula because my son still has like a couple of bottles

a day bam it's just so much and you try and stock up on the formula when it's on sale and things but you just still seem to run out yeah it goes so quickly you mentioned before like your incidental spending and how you haven't like printed out your bank statements yet but what do you think your number one incidental spend is? Is it like just the supermarket top ups or is it like something else? I think the supermarket is definitely the big one, but probably Kmart as well. What are we buying at Kmart? Cause like I'm really good at Kmart. Do you know what? And that's so funny because I can't even tell you like a hundred percent on what it is, but you know, I love, you know, just getting a little treat and then I might see a really cute outfit for the

twins. So then I'm like, oh, I should probably get that too. But then you've got two, so double that. Ah, yeah, no, that would add up so quickly. I feel like you're relatively savvy when it comes to money, though. I know you said, look, I've got credit card debt and we're working that out, YOLO. But it sounds like you've got your up bank, you've got all your savers, you've got an emergency fund, you're investing, you're on raise, you've got 70 grand in super. Like, girl, sorry, I don't know how to remind you of this, but you're raising literal twins. You're doing so well. Like we spoke about everything that you've been through but then also like you earn 110 grand plus super and you're back at full-time work you've got these four-year-old beautiful twins and somehow you're

like making all of this work but you think you're a c like i know that the supermarket can get away from some of us but like someone who has an emergency fund and all of their upsavers and looks at their bank account on payday is not a c girlfriend i think i just look at the wage that we're on. And it's like, we should just be doing so much better than this. But we're in the middle of a cost of living crisis as well. I want to shake everybody because I think that people will be like, oh yeah, we're on such a good income. And please do not take this the wrong way. If you're listening to this, not even money, Darius, but like $110,000 for some people, if you earn $50,000, you go, oh my God, the financial freedom that that would afford. But after tax, after you've

paid your super, after you've paid back your hex, that amount of money so easily dissipates, especially when you have kids, especially when you are trying to just like live your life and you're not meal planning to a T. I promise for a lot of people in that position, money just disappears. And it's not because you're irresponsible. It's just because things are a lot tighter than they used to be. And that $100 grocery shop now costs you $250. And those are the things that we don't give ourselves enough grace for those are the things that we don't go oh that makes sense as to why I can't save what I want to do like that makes sense as to why I can't pay this credit card off any faster like but you're still putting the hard yards on yourself

you're like oh yeah I'm still C stop it well maybe we'll go with C plus but I think until I paid the credit card off then I definitely can't get to a B all right all right I'll allow it I'll allow it. Call me when you get the credit card paid off and we'll bump you up to a B plus and maybe an A. Money Dosed, it has been a pleasure. Thank you so much for sharing your story and being so bright and bubbly about all of it. Like this could have been like a, yeah, this ruined my life story. But you're like, so this happened, but like my life is a million times better. Like, oh, I just, I can't wait for this episode to come out because I have two girlfriends who are currently going through a divorce that I cannot wait to send this episode to to be like see it

can be better we've gotten rid of the dead weight oh my goodness absolutely and that's exactly why I wanted to do this because I've never talked about my money really but I was like if this will show somebody to just do it I promise it will I hope it does oh my god I know it will thank you so much it has been such a pleasure getting to know you and I just know that the community is going to love hearing from you as much as I have thank you so much the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a

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