She's On The Money - 'No Wedding Gifts Expected’... Then Why Do I Feel Guilty?

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

Finding it hard to keep your cool when share prices are plummeting? Tap ‘play’ for instant relief from hasty portfolio decisions. In this week’s Friday Drinks, we’re reminding one wary investor of how it pays to stay level-headed when the sharemarket has you feeling off-kilter. If you too are wondering if you should sell your shares during an economic downturn, this episode may have you reconsidering things.  The DM gods have delivered! This week we discuss a destination wedding-themed dilemma that questions how much you should gift a family member, if you’re already attending their very expensive overseas wedding. And, yes, we cover whether they’ve specified, ‘no gifts expected’. And whether they mean it. Plus, Jess will be sharing Money Wins from within the community and Bec’s got Broke Tips to help push your dollar further.  This week’s Question of the Week? Guess you (and your pet) will have to tune in to find out…  📚 LIBRARY BOOK GIVEAWAY: We're sending free She’s on the Money books to public school libraries across Australia, because financial literacy should be accessible to everyone, from a young age. School librarians, please complete the form at https://sotm.typeform.com/to/i8IfaA3n to apply.  This giveaway is limited, so get clicking. 💬 Wanna be on the pod? Send us your Money Dilemma via voice note on our website.📩 Got a question you’re dying to ask? Slide into our DMs.⭐️ And, if you loved this episode, you know what to do Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group (🔍 ShesontheMoneyAUS) and follow us on Instagram @shesonthemoneyau for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you. Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements (queenacknowledgements.com) The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gulinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan, mumubangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools

knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. And every single Friday, we get the team together to celebrate you, our incredible She's on the Money community. Of course, we have Miss Jessica Ricci here. She's going to be sharing all of your money wins while Bex Syed, she's here. She's bringing you all of her best broke tips. We're also going to be answering a question about whether you should be selling your shares in a downturn. And I'm hoping you guys have been listening long enough to predict exactly what I'm going to say. And my friends, remember that you too can have your

money dilemma answered and explored on the podcast by leaving us a little voice note on our website or sending us a direct message on Instagram. Simply tell us what's going on and you might just hear yourself on Friday drinks but more on that later because massive drum roll bet you didn't see this coming five-star review and I feel like there is something really really really special about I don't know hearing from you our community when you slide into our DMs not only to stroke our egos which we obviously really enjoy but like sorry I love hearing about your financial goals I love hearing about what you're achieving. I love hearing about the journey, not just about like, oh, V, I bought my first home. Fantastic. Please tell me. But also like you got out of debt or you

finally started looking at your debt. Like it is such a big achievement to even, I don't know, log into the account and finally uncover what the damage actually is because so many of us have our heads in the sand. Like I get it. It doesn't just mean that you're, I don't know, building heaps of wealth, but it means that the work that we do is actually having an impact. And that's actually what drives us, surprisingly. So, if the podcast has been helping you get closer to your money goals, we want to hear it. Pretty please, tell us. You can even tell us in private and say, Victoria, don't tell anybody my name, but this is what I did. And I'll be like, Queen, pop off. So, please, please, please share your reviews of She's On The Money, ideally on Apple Podcasts,

but we accept them literally anywhere. So this week's one comes from Charvel, I believe is how you say her name. And she says, I started listening to She's On The Money when I was trying to get my life together financially, and I'm still very much a work in progress. But I want you to know that I finally set a budget. I'm more aware of where my money is going, but I'm still in debt and I'm just figuring it out. And honestly, this podcast makes me feel like that is more than okay the community is what keeps me coming back I'm in the Facebook group it is really honest it's non-judgmental and it makes me feel like you're not the only one trying to just be better with money it's not about being perfect but it is about making progress and that's

a lesson that it took me too long to learn oh that's lovely that's amazing you're doing great yeah progress is such a positive wonderful thing yes seriously because like I don't know sometimes you hear a review and it's like oh all these people are buying their houses or setting up investment portfolios or like finally being in the best possible position but like changing your mindset is the hardest part and we don't give that enough credit for sure so that's why I peaked that one this week amazing thank you so much I love it all right moving on from five star reviews it is that time of the week the moment on Friday drinks where you finally get to ask the question that you've been dying to know of us money work insurance pets it can be literally about anything

and this week's question came to us via dm and mia would really like to know if your pets could talk what kind of person would they say you are i think my cats would say i'm needy because any like first thing i do when i come in i'm like where are my cats where are my babies and then And, like, any time I sit anywhere or lie anywhere, I'm like, come here, come sit with me. And they're like, we just want to chill. They're like, give me some space, girl, please. Do you know what?

That's what my pets would say about Jess too. She comes into my house and she's like, Bailey, Henry, give me some love. Oh, my God, so cute. So I think that's what they would say. And I would like to think they would say that I'm loving because I do. I love them so much. My heart would explode. Oh, that is so cute, Jess.

Oh, my God. Becky, you don't have a pet. I don't have a pet. Your best friend? Yes, my best friend's dog. I love her more than I've ever loved a dog ever. I'm not really like, it's not like I dislike dogs. Everyone thinks I hate dogs.

But I just don't like, I have a funny like germ thing with like all, I can't touch curtains. I can't touch dogs. I can't. So it's not like I don't like dogs. I just have a funny, irrational phobia of random things. And so dogs happen to be one of them. I can't touch them. But Podge.

I did not know that about you. I know. Buttons, plastic buttons, I can't touch them. podge is my best friend's dog she makes me do the lift what does podge have to say i think podge would be confused she's we just love each other so much but she i think she'd be confused because i'm constantly talking when like no one's around there's something about having an animal in the house that you feel like you can talk out loud and so she would just be so i think she'd be so confused by everything about me because i'm

I'm switching from like really irritated by something, you know, when like your like shirt gets wrapped around the washing machine middle pole. Like I'm so angry and then I'm like so excited. And then so she would just be like, whoa, bro, what is going on here? But she would also, I think she would say that she loves me and I love her. And that's all. Cute. What's Lucy got to say?

My pets, I have three. I have two cats and a dog and I've got two Tonkinese cats. and those are inherently needy cats but because they've got a little bit of Siamese in them they're incredibly independent but like you can't predict when so most of the time they've got their Burmese on and they're like oh pat me tell me I'm pretty I want to lay on your face and then sometimes they'll look at you like you're the scum of the earth yeah and they'll look at you like why did you even choose to exist today and why are my biscuits to the left like the judgment coming off their faces so I think that they would think I was insufficient they'd be like this woman

provides everything a roof over our heads comfortable beds food premium food heated floor in our bathroom we have a heated floor wow and the good life they are living I would say the good life but they look at me like this woman does nothing for us what does she do this poverty that we live in this poverty and like i will come home and because they are such needy cats they both run at the door and it's like my favorite thing jess you would have experienced it when you come over to my house all pets at the door and now we have kids it's all pets and kids like cute stories yeah it's like the welcoming party and that's literally what we call it because lucy will grab a toy and be like oh god there's someone here i need to bring them a gift and then my toddler

will be like whoa jess and then my cats will be like oh i guess we've got to see what the cat's dragged in like everyone comes to the door yeah they'd just be like our leader incompetent oh my god so it's like lifestyle creep but like for the cats yeah i've actually experienced significant lifestyle creep because of my pets i bought my cat on gumtree for 250 dollars i adopted him because someone was putting him up for adoption and it yeah it just went from there then i bought another cat and then i bought a dog and then i've upgraded their food and now i upgrade their beds And then they, I bought a cat tree on the internet. Like, what?

And now they're like, okay, this is, sorry, just not enough for us. No, they're like, you think you can impress us with that? Like, I'm trying. I really am trying. And I feel like I'm consistently trying to make them happy. You're doing great. That's the cats. The dog, though, she'd be like, I love her.

Best friend. Best friend ever. Sweet girl. Yeah. Like if I tripped over her and hurt her, she'd be like, don't worry. I love you. So cute. Anyway, that's what my pet would think of me.

The questions that you guys send are very unhinged, but we like them. Keep them coming. If you have a question that you need answered on our podcast, send them through. We love them. We love reading them. We love recording them. And we love talking about which one we're going to pick this week because there are a lot. And sometimes I'm like, what the hell is wrong with you guys?

And then I'm like, the same thing that's wrong with us. now miss jessica richie tell me what are this week's money wins i'm brand one to start off with i'm the pets trained from tay who said derrick is a money loss but the best new addition to our little family we of course have a beautiful pet tax photo derrick is a little fluffy black and white puppy so cutie derrick looks like a sheep a doodle derrick does look kind of like a sheep a doodle there's definitely a bit of derrick looks like derrick's gonna be big yeah that's no i'm curious. Next, I've got one from Gemma who said, I found $10 on the ground hopping off the train on Saturday night. I looked around to see if anybody looked concerned and held it just in

case someone came up to me, but nobody claimed it. And I think that's rightfully yours now, Gemma. That's a genuine clean money win. Next, I've got one from Anita who said, not really a money win. However, I was teaching at a very low socioeconomic school today and I noticed that they had She's on the Money's book in their library of resources. So excited to know that these primary kids are being taught sound money practices that can literally change their lives. Cool. How sweet is that?

I don't know if I'm opening myself up to a bombardment of having to send books out, but if you're a library teacher and you don't have our book in your library and you would like it and you are a public school, send me a DM. Maybe like the first, let's put a number on it. Jess is like, you're going to play with me. Like the first, what, like 50? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the first 50 can have one.

Perfect. Great. Because that's going to become my problem. Jess is like, that's my problem and Victoria is going to make me send out hundreds of packages. Yeah, like we'll send out 50 books. Yeah. That's easy. We love you guys.

God, librarians, my favorite people. Oh my gosh, we could sign it for the schools. That would be really cute. Yeah, cute. I love that. I love it. I just, I think it's important, obviously. I wrote the books because I believe in financial literacy, not just because I want my book

in your library, but also that's cool. Yeah, that's cool. Genuinely. All right. Next, I've got a money win from Claire who said, money win. I found out that some car insurance companies will reduce your premium if you drive less than 15,000 kilometers per year. I really only use my car to drive my parents, take mom grocery shopping. So now I'm paying a half of what I was before. In fact, it's cheaper than dropping to

third party would have been. So if you're someone who doesn't get out and about too much, if you're in a walkable area or a bit of a homebody, look into that. I think that's great advice. Can I add something to that? Please. So I recently moved house and I didn't previously have a garage. And so instead of just updating my address with my insurer, I called them and was like, hey, like I've moved. And like, I didn't know that I needed to do this, but they asked and they were like, oh, has anything about your house changed? And I was like, yeah, it's a different house. What do you want to know? But because I have a lockable garage now, my premiums dropped. Yeah, because it's not street parked. Yeah. But if you've moved house and like maybe

now you're parking in your own yard not on the street or you're in a garage like that could drop your premium so it's not just about oh i have to update my address so that the you know insurance premiums come to the right house yeah let them know the semantics and it could benefit you that's great so handy and then last week another one that's very on theme for this episode is from rachel just say last week last one sorry everybody it's friday rachel said she's holding steady with ETFs, despite it also being her house deposit. Oh, Queen, you're giving me anxiety making your house deposit ETFs, but you do you. We'll come back to the holding part.

Well done. Yes, that's a good, on the holding part. Yes, exactly. All right. I love that. And I love how, I guess, everyone, not just like our team, rallies around a good money win. I was like in the thread the other day and I'm like, you guys give out likes like they

are candy. Like you just like everyone's stuff. I love it. Keep that up. Keep that up. Also, like, love heart here. I like doing the, like, friendship one. Is it like the care one with the love heart hands?

Yeah. Very cute. Please, more of that more often in our Facebook group. Very sweet. Miss Bec Syed, break tips time. Yes. What have you got for us? All right.

So this first one comes from, I also have a Gemma, and it's confirmed you're about to get three hours of free electricity every single day. So basically, this is only for Victoria. Sorry, I should say Victoria. The state's new midday power saver scheme will require energy retailers to offer a discounted tariff during the middle of the day when Victoria's solar output is pumping out more energy than the grid actually needs.

So that means that if you have to wash your clothes, if you have to, I don't know what else you do, turn the lights on. Run the dryer, run the vacuum, like all those sorts of things. Do all those things in the middle of the day. Charge all your devices. Charge your devices, exactly. Yeah, do all that in the middle of the day. So households could save up to $300 a year, which I know is like, that's a good money win.

Isn't that good? That's a really good one. When did you say they're rolling that out? This will be from October. Yeah. October. So we've got some time to plan. I know a lot of people are like, well, I'm not home during the day.

That's okay. Because do you know what your washing machine probably has that you didn't know? A delayed time function. Yes. So my washing machine and my dryer have that. And I don't have like fancy top of the range washing machine or dryer. We just have the washing machine and dryer that my husband and I bought when we moved out and that's fine, but you could delay it.

So if before work you chuck your washing on and then set it for like three or four hours in the future, it'll wash while you're at work. It'll be free. And then when you get home, you've just got some washing to hang out and you can feel extra productive. Or even like soak time. You could do what, put on a soak thing, which I think we can do for a few hours. It's 2026.

You can probably work around a lot of this. probably an app for that. Smart plugs, yeah. Smart plugs, you're only doing something. Yeah, good. Hell yeah. Okay, this next one comes from Siobhan, who sent me this reel. I'm so into my reels these days. So a Japan 2026 pro tip. There is a website that it is in Japanese. It's 000area-weekly.com. And by the looks of it, you can, depending on your browser and what device you're using, you can like make it translate if you can't understand Japanese then you can see what it's saying but it's basically where you go to find really cheap accommodation so I think it's like we did an episode about travel tips not long ago where it's like if you buy things from that

country's website in that country's language or whatever then it tends to be cheaper so it's basically that same exact thing but just for specifically Japan and specifically accommodation And Japan's an amazing country to visit. Oh, my God. It's incredible. It's incredible. It's the best. And then my one, I saw it's like a hack for getting oil stains out.

Where the hell are these oil stains coming from? Why don't you just call me? Oh. I'm the cleaning queen. Yeah, true. What's your hack? I might have another one. This one is you pop your shirt or whatever it is onto a counter.

You pour some baking soda. Ah, yes. Put baking paper over the top. and iron and then you put the iron on top of the baking paper. Is this making sense, everyone? Yes. And then you just iron the oil stain out. And it will lift and you don't even have to wash it again.

Yeah, it's insane. I use it on all of Harvey's daycare jumpers because you know how like sometimes jumpers get like the oil stain and no matter how many times you put it through the washing machine, it's like maybe a navy jumper and then it has like a darker spot on it. Yes. Yeah, bicarb soda on top, baking paper, and then you just hold the iron, burn the crap out of it.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Wipe it off, brush it off, shake it out. And then you're done. You're done. Another broke tip would be if anyone knows where the hell oil stains come from because I'm never cooking. Food, babe. I'm never cooking.

I don't cook. Yeah, but like you eat. Oh, true. Crazy. I do cook. Sorry, everyone. Anyway, that's me. I love that.

All right, let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, we're going to be asking whether you should sell all your shares when the market takes a turn. And we have a juicy DM about what are we paying for wedding gifts if we're already paying for flats and accommodation to get overseas in the first place. So guys, don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short

voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hi, she's on the money. Just an investing question. I've had a few people close to me tell me that with the war overseas, the economy and the markets sort of crashing in areas that I should be pulling out all of my investing money and just banking that or keeping it in my pocket. I wasn't originally going to do this because I know that time in the market is really important and I was hoping that in five to 10 years time, this would just balance out and sort of be behind us. Just a bit of a background, I have $24,000 in CFS with Colonial First States. It is balanced at 50-50 in all shares and index balance.

That currently has a $273 return. I'm no longer putting money into that. I'm just letting it grow. I'm now putting $50 a fortnight into my Sharesies account, which is currently at $227. It's at a loss of $17. Now, my breakdown of the $50 per fortnight into ETFs is 25% into Asia, 20% into IXJ, 40% into IVV and 15% into REITs. Thanks. Bec, what are you doing? So, if you've got your investment portfolio and then everyone around you giving opinions.

No, no, no. Don't touch it. Don't touch it. It's also like we do have a lot of episodes on investing and shares and things like that. And obviously, I cannot give advice. But personally, I'm thinking that the thing that I bought is the house. I'm calling a share a house or an ETF a house. The house is worth way less now because the market's not doing very well. I'm not like quickly selling it. Quickly sell it. It's worth way less. I'm staying and I'm keeping it. And not only that, but I'm buying up other houses now because they're so cheap. I'm buying up houses. And so by the time it levels back out, it recovers and then it moves beyond recovery, goes into a surplus. I hate to say that. Then I've just got so much money and who's to say

that's going to happen but i just would not be don't rush don't panic i just like sit on it sit on it and buy why wouldn't you because it is this why i say like the asset that i bought is from you guys the asset that i bought is now worth way less but i know historically by judging by what what has happened in the past it's going to recover it's going to come back to the same amount of value. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much. Or even be better.

And I'm like, why am I selling it now when it's worth way less? No, it's going to come back. I'm just going to wait. Thank you. I'm not needed here. You can just go home. No, actually, could you get us a couple of teas and coffees? Yeah, what would you like?

What's your order? Actually, just give me a soy cap. Yeah, it's a week's soy cap. On it. Hot choccy. Hot choccy. I'll be back. Thank you so much.

It's the GFC of it all. You know, everyone panicked, pulled their money out, Whereas the data now shows, depending on what you're invested in, but based on averages, et cetera, if you would continue to invest throughout the GFC, you would have been in a very tidy surplus as opposed to the people who pulled their money out and sold at a significant loss. I'm not sure if it's out yet. If it is out, we'll link it in the show notes.

We have a full episode coming because we know a lot of people are thinking about this on what should you be doing? Should you be panic selling? All those sorts of things. I know that it's very overwhelming with everything that's going on in the world right now. We hear you. So give that episode a listen. We'll link it down below.

if it is out. If not, it will be coming very, very shortly. The one thing I did want to flag is you said that your plan was to hold on to the shares that you have because you know that they will be worth a lot after the market recovers. And I just want to gently correct or reframe a little bit. When we talk about those sorts of things, it's like buy low, sell high. So if you've got shares that you bought prior to the dip, they will recover and hopefully continue to trend up. But just the way that you phrased it, I was like, I just wanted to kind of flag that. Do you know what I mean? Like when we talk about the example you were giving, buying up all the houses while they're cheap is more so applicable now that everything is worth a lot

less if you were to purchase things. As the market starts to recover, the value of them also increases where if you have assets that you purchased prior to the dip, like for me, a lot of my portfolio it was purchased prior to the dip, it's now worth a lot less. And if I held on to it as the market recovered, I would kind of get back to ground zero eventually, if that makes sense. And then hopefully it would continue to climb after that. But I've kind of got to get back to where I was, as opposed to if you're buying while it's on sale and then it increases in value, you're making money on it, so to speak. Yes. I hope that makes sense. Good point.

yep ditto what what you guys said um but i also like stepping back turns out the advice side i'm not doing this time i'm actually just gonna talk about your friend circle i'm not saying they're bad i'm not saying they're good i'm just saying are they financial advisors like where are you getting your information from like who are you chatting to if someone's like oh you should sell it who were they to have that opinion i'm not saying don't have these conversations because they're really fun. But I am saying like, in my favorite book, The Richest Man in Babylon, which is the most dry book you will ever read. And I don't think I could pay Jessica to read it. It talks about investing principles from, you know, when investing started. And there's a

piece of advice in there that says you wouldn't take advice on buying diamonds from a bricklayer. And I think that that's a really important piece of advice here. Like if you were going to go buy a diamond you're not going to go into a shop and be like love to speak to a bricklayer what is your advice on buying a diamond you work with bricks they're hard diamonds are hard I guess you'd know you're probably going to go to a gem specialist so I would be implementing that here too if you're getting all this conflicting advice and it's making you feel overwhelmed step back and go where am I getting this advice that would probably be where I start yeah sound advice thank you for someone who is does know about finances well i didn't have any financial

opinions this time because apparently i've taught my friends too well you're just such a good teacher oh thanks i'm gonna exit the show soon it's gonna be fantastic all right i have a dm and this one i feel like is really good i can't i feel like i've said this a number of times about other ones but like i don't know i just feel like there's lots of opinions so let's jump into it This week's DM. I was hoping to get some advice from you guys. I'm heading to a family member's wedding in Europe this year, and I'm a bit unsure about what's appropriate in terms of a cash gift. Between flights and accommodation, my partner and I are already spending around $2,000 on airfares and around $800 on accommodation for just two nights. The couple have said no gifts are expected,

but I really can't help but feeling like we should still be giving something. what would you do in this situation no gifts no gifts i think it's like you're spending so much money to be there and i think even like not a destination wedding like a wedding right in your own backyard i'm like i don't think that gifts are essential it really like it really does stress people out i feel like if you're like someone who's living paycheck to paycheck and you get a wedding invite you are i don't know about everyone but i am anxious i'm like well i gotta to buy clothes. I got to like at least be presentable. I've got to buy a gift. It's like scrap it all. I know that doesn't like just take away the whole societal pressure and you might

rock up without a gift and feel really crap all day. I know it doesn't take that away. Just being like, oh, no, you shouldn't. You don't have to. But I think you could make something if you really want to take something and it will just make you feel more comfortable. Then I think make something And it could be like a Canva like voucher that you've made in Canva or you've made in Word, Microsoft Word or whatever, that just says here is one quality time voucher and it doesn't have to cost you anything or much. Yeah, I think make something sentimental for this kind of thing. If you feel like you must do something, do not spend any money. I completely agree. I mean, I've said before, I'm not a big fan of a cash gift as a general rule.

I don't like it. I think it creates this sense of pressure and inequity between people and just like, I don't believe that that's what a gift is. I think it's lovely that the people whose wedding it is have said, we don't expect gifts. They've obviously recognized all of the effort and the money that their guests are spending. And I think it's awesome that they've said, nothing is necessary. Please don't feel like you have to bring something. I agree. I am the kind of person, truthfully, that would feel like our listener. I'd be like, I do feel like I still need to give you something. And I love the idea of a handmade gift. I think a photo album or something

sentimental, if you're creative or artsy, can you make something like that? Is there something in their lives you know that they're doing or they're working on that you can help them with? Do they have small business plans? You can help them build a website or can you help them with social media or can you, you know, what skills have you got that you can give to them that they would otherwise have to pay for. I think that is so valuable and thoughtful. Otherwise, I think like, yeah, sentimentality is such a big thing. Could you, you know, have an art piece done, you know, to commemorate the wedding or, you know, there's so many good ideas out there. But I think something small that doesn't have to cost you a lot of money that you can give with love because that's what a

gift is. Like, I don't think you need to go, oh, I feel like I need to give them money to pay for to do something. They've said you don't need to. We all agree you don't need to. We've discussed this point many times. If you still want to give a token of love, make it with love, you know, and there's lots of great ways that you can do that. And I do like the give out idea. If they're moving house, I'll help you move on the day or you know what I mean? There's so many things, make it personal to them, which makes it hard for us to make a suggestion on what that might be. Totally. I agree. I will come for this from a personal perspective. So I'm not stressed about money at this point in my life and I have been to overseas weddings in the last two or three

years where I have still given a gift and for me it's like two situations right so like if you said to me Victoria do you like the idea of overseas weddings I will inherently just say absolutely not like I hate the idea that your wedding would become a financial burden for other people like I don't like that is an overseas wedding sick yeah like how cool like I've been to weddings in Thailand. I've been to weddings in Bali and they are so beautiful and I have the best experiences and ultimately you're usually going to a wedding of someone you know well. So all your other friends and family are there and we have the best times. But from a finance girly perspective, I'm like, oh, I couldn't personally do that because I know that I'd be putting a financial pressure on people

and I don't know their situations and I just feel like that's not their burden to carry. So it's not a choice I would make. In saying that, I love a wedding. I love gift giving. I still wanted to gift them something. And what we have done for the wedding that we went to last time was we actually got together with everybody that we were traveling with and said, hey, we still kind of want to get them a nice gift. And we all put in a smaller amount of money to buy a really nice restaurant voucher for their first wedding anniversary. So like we all didn't put in heaps, but like they got to go to a bougie restaurant we still got to write them a really nice card it was something that they could experience and as you guys know I love an experience present over like a physical

present and then the one before that I organized some stuff for the wedding once we were over there and I was like oh we'll pay for that in lieu of you know a gift but I still wrote a really nice card so one of my love languages is writing cards and like you know giving them something because like I don't know when was the last time you got a card that actually had more than to Victoria from Victoria in it, you know, like it just is so nice when someone has sat down and been like, hey, here's an opportunity for me to tell you how much you mean to me and the contributions you've made to my life or even just like, oh, you make me feel like a good person when you're around.

But that I think is really undervalued. Yeah, 100%. So there are lots of ways, but like my suggestion is maybe you could like crowdsource a gift and you all contribute like 20 or 30 bucks and then you buy a really nice restaurant voucher and it covers their whole meal. Yeah. And they get to go on a date because of you. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who's had a wedding straight after the wedding, you're not prioritizing going out for dinner because that's expensive and you've just spent all your money on a wedding. Yeah. Yeah. What did everybody else say? So first we asked them some questions and

we said, is covering your travel considered enough in this situation? 83% of you said yes. 17% said no. Yep. Next question we asked was, do expectations change when it's a close family member. Literally bang down the middle, fitty fitty. Next question we asked was, would you feel guilty not giving anything? 59% of you said yes and 41% said no. And then obviously we were like, question time, what is your two cents? Someone gave me a three-parter. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to read out the whole thing. So this person said, I'm having a wedding in Spain and I'm from Melbourne. We are absolutely not expecting gifts from anyone. In today's economy, it's ridiculous to expect both. We chose the wedding locations, not the guests. I don't think

it is fair to expect them to pay for travel and a gift. I see that as being very greedy. I agree. I love that that's coming from a bride as well because it's kind of giving you validation like, babe, for real, when we're picking an overseas wedding destination, we do not expect anything from you. Totally. Next person said, buy something small, like maybe a house gift or just give them like $100 in cash. Another person said, I'd give them something sentimental, like a nice photo or a custom item. Another person said, why not purchase something while you're over there so they can remember the trip? That's sweet. That's gorgeous. I thought that was really cute. This other person, I love this, write them a kind and meaningful letter. Gifts don't have to be monetary.

It's so true. I love a letter. I do. It's hard. And if you're not good with words, it takes a while. But then if I know you're not good with words and I got a letter from you, I'd love it even more for sure next person said i was the bride in this scenario please do not buy us gifts we are very serious yeah there you go that's lovely yes good yep another person said i got married overseas and we would expect nothing from guests but they did give us gifts so i feel like we're all the same yeah we've never had an original experience and then i've got another two-parter i think the bride and groom should specify rather than no gifts necessary say due to your travel commitments and how much you're investing in this please consider this your wedding gift

because like that's hard to fit on an invitation to be fair um we did something similar for our wedding i don't know if you remember and you went around for it beck but we said your presence is our present gorgeous and that was really cute because we were like please don't yeah and then like and it wasn't because we were like please don't buy gifts like we were at a stage in life when we are in a stage in life, we already had a house. We already had furnished the house. We actually didn't need gifts. Like, please just come.

And so, like, we were quite, I don't know, specific about being like, no, we consider you taking the time, our gift. And I don't know, I think that that feels like instead of just sweeping it under the rug of, like, no gifts, like, oh, no, we consider that a present. Yeah. It's just a nice way of saying it. Yeah, a nice way to look at it too. Nice way.

Anyway, that's also a nice way to wrap the episode. Thanks for hanging out with us on another Friday. We're going to see you bright and early on Monday morning for a Money Diary, and I cannot wait. Bye, guys. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

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