She's On The Money - She Feared Spending, Avoided Investing & Saved Obsessively—Until Everything Changed

Episode Date: February 23, 2025

What happens when a hardcore saver marries a carefree spender? Five years ago, this Money Diarist and her husband were buying their first home, navigating the financial uncertainty of the pandemic, and dreaming about starting a family. Now? They have two kids, a mortgage, and a whole new outlook on money. At first, she thought her savings obsession was keeping them safe. But then came a mortgage, two kids, the high cost of IVF, and a $150K business opportunity—forcing her to rethink everything she thought she knew about money. Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+. And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast lets you be pervy about other people's money habits for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries where I get the absolute pleasure of sitting down with one of our incredible She's on the Money community members and chatting to them all about their money story. So let's jump straight into it because this week I got an email and it sounded exactly like this. Dear She's on the Money, five years ago, my husband and I and our three fur babies were searching for our first home amidst the global pandemic and uncertainty of the COVID pandemic. Fast forward to now and And we are coming up on our five-year house-aversary, but the house is much busier and messier because

our two beautiful daughters have joined us. It's been an interesting time navigating our respective careers, IVF, becoming parents and having very different financial upbringings, but She's on the Money has helped us to find the right balance between my scarcity mindset and my husband's laissez-faire approach to money. Money Doris, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh, I'm really excited about this. I can't wait to talk about your babies,

all like five of them, because there's five now. So before we get there, I want to ask, what grade would you give your money habits if I asked you to give them a grade from A through to F? I'd say at the moment, maybe a B minus. Ooh, a B minus. Let me write that down so I've got some notes for later. Money, Darius, now my favorite question of all time. Can you tell me a little bit more about your money story. Yeah, of course. So I guess my attitude towards money is that, you know, I love money. Who doesn't love it? Same queen, same. Let's just be honest here. Yeah. It provides, you know, security for me and my family and allows me to give them a really happy and comfortable

life. But at the same time, I was very much raised that money is something that has to be earned. You have to work hard for it. It doesn't grow on trees, that kind of mind frame for my parents. and I think because of that I have developed a bit of a scarcity mindset that sort of joined me in my adulthood. And do you think that that is something that's like negative because sometimes scarcity mindsets are positive because you're able to save more and be productive or is your scarcity mindset more something that you're like this is actually limiting us and it's not helpful? I think a bit of both. I think I've always had a bit of a fear of getting into debt So anything like the idea of a mortgage or anything like that was very scary for me.

But at the same time, like you said, it has also meant that I'm a good saver and when I have financial goals, I'm able to work towards them. Yeah. So a bit of both. I love that you know that, like, cause it's nice to have that understanding of like who you are and what that means. So I want to know more, cause obviously grew up with a scarcity mindset. tell me more about your money story what does life look like for you so now I guess we have a house

and I have my beautiful family so I'm a wonderful wonderful husband but he doesn't have the same scarcity mindset as me he has very much an abundance mindset and I think that's probably because he had a little bit of like the opposites always attract right yeah yeah we balance each other out I think and I have adopted some of his habits there was once upon a time where I would never pay for convenience but my husband's always like if we have the money to afford something so that we don't have to do something that we don't want to do why not whereas previously I would be like oh no I can just do it myself and save myself the money yeah but he's very much like if you don't feel like cooking we can buy dinner like that is okay and you're like that is a very foreign

concept to me but also I will welcome that. Yeah growing up like I cannot remember a time where during the week for example my parents would have ever bought takeaway for dinner. Oh no neither like that didn't like takeaway was like I don't know like not even once a month. Yeah it was a real treat. Yeah like and I remember I don't know side note I remember kids being like oh it's Friday and I'd be like cool and they'd be like we're having takeaway it's takeaway night and I'd be like oh we don't have a takeaway night like that's not a thing like we might have mum's bolognese or something like but not not takeaway that's wild yeah I remember like on the last day of school term we would get like takeaway for dinner and that was like a big thing yeah because you're

celebrating yeah it was always reserved for a special occasion but now you know having two little kids and sometimes you get home from work and you just feel flat out and you don't want to have to cook before going through the whole dinner bedtime routine we just you know we'll grab something on the way home and for me it took a long time to adjust to that because like oh that's so expensive but sometimes that's like what life's little luxuries are about and like the luxury of having a calm evening now that I am a parent I get it yeah and you can just you get home and you can actually sit down with them and have that little moment of, you know, connection with your kids before actually having to get into that routine rather than, you know, getting home immediately,

popping them in front of the TV or something so that you can quickly whip up something for dinner. Totally. So I want to know a bit more about you and your husband and what's going on. But to do that, I want to know, like, how much do you earn? What do you do for work? Yeah. So I work at a university as a professional staff member. So my salary is $109,000 a year plus 17% super. Oh, that's so sexy. Yeah, it's good. But at the moment, I only work four days a week. So pro rata. And what does your husband do? He's a civil design engineer. Oh, very fancy. Yeah. And he earns $166,000 a year.

$166,000 and then super on top of that? Yeah. Plus the 11.5%. Oh, very nice. So you have a nice household income. We do. We do. It's, I guess, a lot more money than I ever expected to earn coming from a regional town. And knowing my parents' salaries when I was growing up, it seems like an exorbitant amount of money. But now that we earn quite decent salaries, I don't know how we could not, if that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny how your entire lifestyle adjusts completely like and it's not just the little luxuries right it's just life is expensive like in general like I feel like a hundred thousand dollars I remember back when I

got my first job and a hundred thousand dollars was like my goal one day I wanted to earn a hundred grand because like six figures my goodness like that was like my goal and I thought that that would mean that I would be rich. And, you know, at the time, if back then, I think it was like 2010, 2011, if I was earning a hundred, that was good, good, good money. Yeah. You probably would be rich. Yeah. Yeah. And nowadays I feel like a hundred thousand dollars just does not stretch as far. And like very aware that that's an entitled thing to say. And lots of people listening to Money Diaries are going to earn more or less and like, that's okay. But it's just money doesn't stretch in the same way that it used to. And I feel like had you said in like, let's even say

like 2010, that was your household income. Whoa. But nowadays I'm not saying it's not impressive. It's very impressive. It's just not stretching the way it used to. Yeah, I agree. So talk to me more. I want to know, obviously good income, two young kids. I'm assuming that financially having kids, cause you did mention you went through IVF was a bit of a burden. I want to know, what are your current big money goals? What are you currently working towards? So I guess leaning back into that scarcity mindset, a lot of me just wants to pay down our mortgage. That's a big money goal for me. Originally, I want to pay off my mortgage by the time I turn 40, which is only five years away now. And I just don't think that's realistic,

but I'm stretching that out to 45 if I can pay off the mortgage. Have you spoken to like a mortgage broker about a strategy to do that? I haven't recently, no, but it is on the goal card for this year is to reach out and look at refinancing. Not even just refinancing, just like even a strategy session with a mortgage broker to be like, hey, like we actually want to pay this off in this period of time. Because usually when we sit down with a client and go, oh, well, what's the plan? We're not talking about paying it off early. We're like, okay, here are like manageable repayments. This is what this means. Like there are lots of ways you can turbocharge like paying off your mortgage, even things like making sure

that you're making weekly payments to your mortgage instead of monthly payments, because interest accrues daily, like that can have an impact. And, you know, if you're being really aggressive about it, like we can plan. Yeah, I actually, we do have it set up so that we pay weekly. I did change that a couple of years ago. So you're super savvy already. You don't even need us. I do, because I think for a long time, there were things that I was just like, no, that's not for me like for example investing I just I wasn't literate when it came to investing and I think the she's on the money podcast and your first book really helped me recognize that scarcity mindset and start taking steps to rethink some of those mindsets that I had around you know oh no investing

is just not something that I will ever do because it's too risky it's too scary like yeah and I feel like that scarcity mindset honestly can be really helpful like it can be really but can be detrimental as well. Like I think sometimes you don't realize that by having a scarcity mindset, you're actually putting yourself behind financially because you're not able to step forward. Like, yes, you're really good at saving, but if you don't invest, like you're not actually putting future you in the best possible position. And I just love that you're like, no, I really need to push through that. But like, I understand why, because try explaining to someone who doesn't have a lot of financial literacy, why savings isn't a great option. Like you're going to go,

no, I feel super secure. What are you talking about? You've got rocks in your head. I'm not going to risk it. It's like gambling. And you're like, oh, actually it's not, but I can see where you're coming from or why that might be the case. It's exactly what I used to think. I used to compare investing to gambling. Which is so fair. Like if you don't know, you don't know, but now you know more. You're like, oh, now I'm interested. This is so annoying. It's going to take up some of my time, but hopefully you'll retire really rich. So you're welcome. Fingers crossed and thank you. So tell me, have you got any other big money goals? Like we want to pay down the mortgage ideally by 45, which is very sexy, but tell me a bit more about what that looks like.

Well, my husband and I, we have joint finances, so we kind of share our money goals. And I think this year he may have the opportunity to buy into his company. So it's a private company that he works for and he looks like he'll get a promotion and as part of that he might get an opportunity to buy in which scares me a little bit because I don't necessarily know all the financial side of things as to you know what those numbers are going to look like but at the moment we're kind of keeping a bit of our savings aside for that but that may involve I'm not sure a business loan or something like that or setting up a trust. I was about to say how do you like plan on funding that? Do you think the buying in will be sufficient with your savings or do you think you'll need to

reach out and talk to a broker about securing a business loan? I think we will need a loan for the price tag that we might be looking at. I think it's possibly up to $150,000 the buy in and that's not something that we can afford with our current savings. And also we want to sort of protect our lifestyle. I was about to say, like, even if you had the savings, we, so I talk to people literally every week-ish, not every day, but every week about like business loans and stuff like that. Like sometimes you just don't want to put your personal savings on the line. You're like, okay, cool. I'm happy to get a business loan and work out what that means. And yeah, I'll pay interest on it. But at the end of the day, like I still have my savings if things are

going south or, you know, what if the business isn't doing as well and I need to tip some more savings into you know my personal life like I love that flexibility that debt can help you with and I mean it is a big mindset shift going from like oh I've got scarcity mindset and I'm not even sure about a mortgage to like let's get a loan and buy into a business like there's a bit to work through there yeah I haven't quite got there but my husband is really keen because you know he's really confident in the company that he works for but obviously we need to seek out some financial advice. Oh, 100% financial advice. And then when you're buying into a business, they will be or should be completely transparent about their financials and having

an accountant look at it and just telling you, oh, this is good or not good, or here are some red flags. Like there are lots of combos to have. And I think right now it's really scary. But when you get to the end of those conversations, if everything is, you know, pointing in the right direction that apprehension might actually turn to excitement you're like oh my gosh like it is a cool opportunity like it is an investment it is something that we're willing to do and like I wouldn't want you to do it if you were feeling the way that you're feeling now like we need education and we need to understand the numbers so I feel like the situation you're in right now being a little bit suspicious is probably the best thing for you and your family like keeping it on

track. Yeah, I think it's, we're not writing off the table just yet, but I have my reservations at the moment and it's something that I'd like to seek out further advice and feel a bit more comfortable before I sort of say, yeah, let's do it. A hundred percent. All right, Money Dice, let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, I want to talk a little bit about investments, debt, best and worst money habits, but I also want to chat a little bit more about IVF if you'll let me. So guys don't go anywhere. Money Darius, we are back. You're coming up to your five-year house-aversary. Can you tell me a bit more about your home purchasing journey? Like how much did you save? Like, was this a big conversation? I'm asking mainly because you said I was really

apprehensive about a mortgage, but now you have one. So like what got you across the line? So I guess I always saw myself as a homeowner one day. I think it was just taking that step and putting ourselves into that much debt like was very frightening. So we had, I think we had about, we had over 10% of our purchase price in savings. We ended up buying our house for $706,000 and we bought in March 2020. So it was a really good time to buy because within sort of, I don't know, a year, house prices in our area actually increased by almost 20%.

Oh my goodness. I know. So we got a bit of equity in our home very, very quickly, which was really positive. Yeah, that's wild, but also so cool. Yeah, yeah. So we definitely felt good in our decision, you know, after we'd purchased it. Oh, it's very validating when something like that happens. you're like oh like you don't expect it to happen that quickly but very nice it makes me feel more

secure especially if you're apprehensive about the mortgage to begin with so tell me now what's your house worth today probably close to a million dollars oh very nice just under probably so we have you know increased equity which is wonderful but I think that's probably across the board a lot of houses have increased in value in Brisbane and we currently owe $419,000. Hey you guys are being very aggressive aren't you? Yeah particularly in like the first two years because we were sort of in COVID lockdown and weren't able to leave or travel or anything like that. You could actually just like focus. Yeah and that was pre-kids as well so a lot of our money was just going straight to knocking down that mortgage which felt really good and then interest rates went up and that

started to slow significantly. But that's okay because like that actually enables you a lot of opportunity and it probably makes you feel very secure going actually like I know a mortgage can be really overwhelming and I feel like it's most overwhelming at the start because it carries the most risk at the very start right like what happens if housing prices drop like and my house is worth less than what my mortgage is like that's stressful but once you're a fair few years in and equity ebbs and flows, knowing that you own an asset right now and yeah, you're paying a mortgage off, but if the proverbial hit the fan, you could sell it and there's a significant amount of money there. You kind of go, I feel secure. I feel safe in this decision, which is so nice. But I want to

ask a little bit more, be a bit pervy about your IVF journey. I don't think we talk enough about not just the journey, which is overwhelming, but about the costs. So you saved 10% for a deposit on your home, secure with that. And then you were like, we'd like kids and IVF was the route you went down. That's not a cheap route. So talk to me about the decision-making process around that. Well, I guess we got into our house and then straight away we're like, okay, the next step, because we always saw ourselves as parents ever since we met, like we met when we were like 21. And yeah, and my husband always said he wanted to be a dad and I knew that I always wanted to be a mom and we just both were on the same page that we had to we wanted to get married and have

our own home so we had that financial security before we brought any kids into the world and so we started trying in 2020 after we moved into our home and it was taking a while and then the following year we decided to see specialists and we were very lucky in that we got in very quickly to see a specialist and she said okay it's possible you can have children let's just give it a crack but we'll go straight to IVF we won't muck around trying IUI and any other of the sort of lower cost options because we needed the ICSI. What's that sorry? It's basically where they insert the sperm directly into the egg like they physically do it rather than putting them in the petri dish and letting it happen naturally. Oh right okay I didn't even know that was a thing.

yeah it's basically for like sperm that can't swim strong enough or something yeah yeah yeah yeah so they might be good quality sperm otherwise but they're just a bit lazy yeah they just need a bit of a kick up the butt she always said you know they're good looking sperm they're just a bit lazy and I said oh that just suits my husband perfectly yeah it made sense to us at the time I like that it was like in a conversation that you're like that makes sense to me. That just feels like it's less confrontational or scary or technical as it could be. Yeah. And my husband and I are very open about it because it was upsetting at the time to know that it wasn't going to be easy to get there. But we were very lucky because

I also had low egg count. So initially I was very worried that it was going to take a while and be quite expensive. We didn't have private health, so we were paying out of pocket. Oh, completely out of pocket. Yeah, completely out of pocket at the time. So I think it was about $20,000 per cycle. Wow. Yeah. And then we got some rebates through Medicare. So I think it ended up being just over 10 grand after Medicare rebates per cycle. Yeah. But you had to like come up with the $20,000 to begin with to then be able to rebate it, which is a financial strain that I think a lot of people are like, oh, but you can claim it back on Medicare. And it's like, yeah, great, but I actually have to have the $20,000 in cash to be able to afford it to begin with

to then get the cash back. Yeah. Cause you have to pay for the cycle on day one. You sort of have to pay for it upfront and then you get the money back, you know, at the end of the cycle, if that makes sense. So yeah, for that month, you're out of pocket, that additional amount. And then we only had to do two cycles. Each cycle, we got one embryo, which is really low and both of those embryos are now a beautiful baby girl I was about to say but all you need is one embryo right like you don't need lots and I know that lots of people go through this and that would have been was that really disheartening like when you were told we only got one yeah because we she was like oh because of your age like we want to maybe bank a couple of embryos

before we you know insert one because of the low egg count that I had yeah and you're like that makes sense and like you're on board for that plan yeah and some people you know they get lots of eggs and I got I think on my first cycle four eggs and then only one of them turned into an embryo and I just thought oh this is gonna take forever and I just I want my baby now and yeah by the second one we got three eggs and a second embryo and we thought well we'll just pop one in see what happens and yeah you got a baby yeah my beautiful baby girl my miracle babies the two of them. And I kind of love that they were like, you know, they were embryos at the same time. That's kind of so special. I know that they're different ages and whatnot, but like, I just,

I love the idea that they got to be little embryos together. Yeah. We always say that technically like our oldest is like our youngest embryo. Oh, is it? That's so funny. Because she came from the second cycle. So, you know, our youngest was just, yeah, waiting in the freezer. Yeah, how good. I love that. So it was $20,000 per cycle to get two embryos. Does that include transfer when you decide, okay, so we've paid out, we're now $10,000 out of pocket. We know we've got two embryos. We're going to be pregnant now. What's that process like? That included the first transfer. So that's, yeah, to get the two embryos and the first transfer. And then the second transfer, so two years later when we decided to try again,

And I can't even remember the cost of that. I think it was about $1,500. Yeah. Okay. So not too bad. Yeah. Because I needed some medication to stimulate life. Yeah.

I find it so interesting. And then you would have had to pay storage fees. Yes. So what did that cost? It's about $600 a year from memory. Right. And then you just know that your other baby was just hanging out in a freezer somewhere waiting to come and be picked up.

I was so anxious. I was like, what if they lose it? Because there's only one. it's all a load it was but now it's not like now she's with you guys and now you have two kids that is honestly it's so special learning about people's like fertility journeys like I always feel so pervy but like having been on my own like journey to having Harvey and then you know at some point in the future I want more babies I just I'm so always interested in like well how did you become a mum because I didn't realize it was as complicated as it is and we just feel so lucky

we're just so appreciative because we know it doesn't work for everyone so we're just so grateful for them every day. I love that so we spoke about you know obviously IVF we've had a chat about property you've done well in that space talk to me about investing you said like oh I like I'm a little bit scared about it read your books and stuff but like where are you at on your investing journey? So we do invest so obviously we've got our super so my husband's is sitting at around $130,000. Very nice. And then mine is sitting at around $121,000 in my main super account. But I also did a year in the military after I left school. Oh, did not see that coming. Yeah. Not a lot of people do when they see me. They're like, what? But I think I have about $16,500

in there because it can't be rolled over into another super account. So it's just been ticking away you know my whole adult life just sitting there slowly growing. Just compounding doing its thing I love that and then when it comes to like plans for investing in the future have you guys spoken about it is that something that you're like yep like we just don't want to do it right now I know you said before like you want to aggressively pay off your mortgage like talk to me about what those like the combination looks like. So I have a small investment portfolio so I started off with Ray's just doing roundups, I think in 2021, after I read your book and I thought I need to start somewhere. And that felt quite easy to me and then not too intimidating. And then

now in that same account, we have a weekly amount of $250. Oh my gosh. So you are good investors. Yes, maybe. Yeah. So I'm happy with how it's growing. And over time, I've become more accustomed to you know not feel as frightened of losing the money so it's now sitting around $25,000. How good and I guess just going to compound over time and as like you know kids are expensive as I don't have to convince you of that paying off your mortgage early is going to cost lots of money like as money becomes a little bit freer like you can contribute more and it doesn't feel as painful as it probably would where you're like, okay, so I'm working,

my husband's working. I'm assuming there's daycare fees and stuff like that in the mix and just life's expensive. Yeah, it is. But it's nice to know that there's something ticking along there. And I also contribute an extra 3% of my wage to super. On top of the 17? Yeah, because I thought 20 was a nice round number. I love that. And I love a round number. Like I just, I like the idea of that. Have you done projections on where that will put you in the future? Yeah, I did some projections with my husband and my super as to where we'd sit by the time if we want to retire at 65. And I think it said like our fortnightly income would be around $5,400, I think, which I think is quite comfortable yep yep no I love it yeah especially if we're planning on having our

mortgage paid off oh I think that you'll be just fine in that situation so we talked about debt before I'm assuming you're not in any other debt I have a hex debt so I studied psychological science and then I like yourself studied organizational psychology oh the good types of people. Yeah. So I've still got a bit of debt, about 35K. Ah, very cool. Tell me a bit more. I want to know, I feel like you've probably, being a frugal girly, you've probably got some good money habits. What do you reckon is your best money habit? I don't know if I've got good habits, but I'm quite disciplined. So in terms of like our cash flows, it's all assigned any bills or expenses that we have you know they're basically the money goes out to them straight away so

we're never worrying about how we're going to pay for bills and I'm quite low maintenance in myself like I'm not particularly spendy when it comes to trendy clothes or anything like that I try to pick good quality clothes that will last because I'd rather have nice things in my wardrobe that are not necessarily going to go out of fashion, but suit me and my style and that I can basically wear to death. And then we know that it's getting good cost per wear. I love that. I feel like the older I get, the more I realize that when I buy something, whether that's a fast fashion piece or an investment piece, I go, hold on. I think about it in the here and now, but then I realize that there are some pieces in my wardrobe that I've had there for 10 or 15 years that I'm still

wearing and I think that that's a really interesting mindset to realize oh like if I bought this green top that I'm wearing today I could actually still be wearing that in 15 years and that's wild to me and it's just really pushed me further into being more intentional with my purchases because I'm like oh my god like I do remember it's so lame but there's this like white top that I bought in uni that is really non-eventful that you probably would be like it looks like every other white top, but I remember stretching myself in uni to purchase it. Like I remember feeling a little bit guilty because I was like, oh, like I really want it, but it's a bit more spino and I'm still wearing it today. And I'm like, I'm really glad I did that because it's still one of my favorite

pieces. And I just go, I want to be more like that more consistently. So that's a good thing if that's one of your better money habits. Yeah. I try and be really mindful of what I'm purchasing and so sometimes you know they're not cheap like particularly I buy a lot of nice dresses for work and things like that but I know that I'll get years and years of wear out of them the only issue is you know after having two babies like I do have a few pieces in my closet that I just can't let go of but don't necessarily fit me the same way that they used to which is really sad because you know when I bought them you know I loved these pieces and now I put them on and they're just not quite as comfortable or don't make me feel quite so great when I wear them.

Yeah. And it's interesting, like having had a baby nearly a year ago for me, like just the way your body changes and like, it's not like I'm very lucky that I'm back to where I was before, but everything's different. Like things sit differently and like my weight distribution is sitting differently on my body and I just didn't predict that like yeah my rib cage is wider yeah my rib cage is like my bone structure is different and the rib cage thing I googled that I was like is my rib cage bigger apparently that's a thing because like your whole body needs to move to accommodate a baby and it never went back yeah so things that you know used to be quite comfortable around you know your ribs and your waist are now like oh that's a bit tight

Yeah. And it's got nothing to do with weight. It's got everything to do with your body. Like composition is just different now. Oh, it's actually so interesting. Yeah. It's amazing what the female body can do. Look, I'm very proud of it, but tell me, what do you think your worst money habit is? I've got two things that I wrote down. So I guess the takeout meals I mentioned before, you know, my husband always justifies it. You know, we get more time with the kids and less time cooking and that but I feel like we've gone too far and we need to draw it back in again because like oh I don't feel like cooking let's just buy something I still have that little bit

of guilt around oh yeah maybe this week we've spent a bit too much on on takeout or even going to cafes we love to take the girls for um baby chinos and things and like I think you know one a week is you know it's getting up there yeah and they do add up like what do you mean a baby Chino's $4. Like I was looking at the, Harvey's not at baby Chino age yet, but I was looking at the menu the other day and I was like, $4? Like, and we all know he doesn't even, like when it happens, he's probably not that interested in drinking the milk and consuming the nutrients. He probably just wants the little marshmallow. Yeah. Yeah. For a bit of like this much froth milk. Yeah. Extortion, honestly. But I mean, I don't know. I feel like I've realized I'm a very

sentimental mum like I keep just being like oh my god you're growing please stop but also don't stop like I just I feel like it's getting away from me at the same time as trying to appreciate it I'm like you're not going to be in baby Chino phase forever so like I want to take you out for as many as possible so I don't know how I'm going to balance that for myself yeah and I think as well like as a working mum you get sometimes the mum guilt and so you know you do splurge a little bit more like my eldest daughter she loves books and almost we went through a period last year where every time I take her out we'd be like oh let's just go to came up to the book section and see if there's any nice books because we that's part of our I guess bedtime ritual is reading the

books together and it's just so lovely to spend that time with her okay maybe we should be going to the library instead of buying all these books I mean those aren't the worst money habits I've ever seen I kind of like them they're really wholesome yeah but yeah I think for me it's just to do with spending around the girls like I just I find it really hard to say no to them because they're just my little babies and I just want to give them the whole world so it does change the like I don't know you know how when you're growing up people will be like oh yeah I'm going to give my kids absolutely everything and you'll be like okay cool like don't no second thought about that statement and now I'm like oh I get it like I want him to have like everything at the same time

as bringing him up to not be entitled like and you're trying to like find the balance and you're just like you're only one but like I can just see me going yeah you can have it it's fine I just I really want you to have a good day yeah oh it's so cute and now once they can talk and they start like saying things that are adorable like my daughter says mommy I've been really good today and she's trying to get something out of me I'm like oh she's a genius it's gonna work sometimes it's just like can I have a piece of fruit and it's like oh yeah that's fine but sometimes it's like can I watch tv and oh okay slippery slippery slope I love it oh my gosh I have loved having a chat with you today and learning about you know literally everything like you know purchasing

your first home and chatting about IVF and then talking about our money habits and being frugal versus having a partner who's less frugal. Like, I feel like this has been a fun money diary and I've really enjoyed getting to know you. So thank you. And I just, I know our community is going to love listening to this diary as much as I've loved recording it. So thank you.

You're welcome. And thank you so much for everything you do for the community and particularly for women because it's, it certainly helped me. And I know in many ways you're helping so many people. I hope, I try. It's like my favorite thing ever. No, thank you for that.

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