She's On The Money - She Left Her Husband With $12K and Two Suitcases... Now She’s Worth Six Figures

Episode Date: October 26, 2025

They say you end up with someone like your dad... and for this week’s diarist, that was the problem. Her dad was reckless with money, and years later, she married someone just like him. While she worked and saved, he spent, quit jobs on a whim, and left her holding the financial bag. At 30, she’d had enough. She packed two suitcases, took her last $12K, and started again. . Now building wealth on her own terms (complete with a partner who actually gets it) and even using debt recycling to make her mortgage work harder. This ep is proof that starting again doesn't equal failure... it’s a power move.GET VICTORIA'S BUDGETING SYSTEM: Master your cashflow here.Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+. And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 4See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Ti, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan. Mumu bangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools

knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money circumstances for educational purposes of course welcome back to another one of our money diaries where i get the absolute pleasure to sit down and talk with one of our incredible She's On The Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, She's On The Money. I have a money story that shows that life really doesn't move in a straight line. My story is all about growing up in a household with a pretty toxic dad, but ending up repeating the exact

same cycle with my first, spoiler alert, husband. It's also about moving to the other side of the world on a total whim and starting again from scratch financially, not once, but twice at 25 and then again at 30 years old. All of that now to be in an amazing relationship with someone who is on exactly the same page as me, but also navigating what it's like to start big joint financial goals when you come with such big baggage of people taking advantage of you in the past. I am very excited for this money diary. Welcome to the show money diarist. Hi. I just feel like I've got so many questions like toxic dad. Okay. Toxic husband. Oh, juicy. Like then you've moved across the world. Not once, but twice. Like girl, that sounds expensive. I just

have lots of questions. Yeah. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and I'm glad that you're like, hey, girl, I'm so willing to share this with the community. Before we get there, though, if I asked you to rate your money habits on a scale from A through to F, what would you rate them? I think at this stage, I would probably give myself A minus. Okay. I love this. I love this. I have some questions about it doesn't seem like it would take much to get to an A plus. What would that look like? But let's leave that for the end of the show. My friend, let's dive further in. I want to know, tell me more about growing up in a household where you had a pretty toxic dad and let's go from there. Yes. So obviously it's something that maybe didn't impact me growing

up, but that I reflected upon afterwards, realizing the truth behind it, especially when it comes to money story. We didn't talk much about money growing up, which is not the healthiest in itself. It's also really common. Yes, very common. And I think, so I'm French and especially in France still now money is very taboo it's not something that people openly discuss so I knew that my mom was the breadwinner mom had quite a good job and was making a decent amount of money dad not so much he was a government employee but probably more on the lower side of the wages and what was happening is that my mom would try to save and save and save and then my dad would go and spend and spend and spend and she was working so hard yeah she was working so hard

like crazy hours and in hindsight it breaks my heart to realize what was happening and you know obviously as I said growing up I didn't really realize and then my dad was so very good at taking advantage of that he would do the same with his mom just show up at my grandma's board the credit card and just spend very good at spending other people's money in hindsight there's definitely some things going there there's definitely some undiagnosed adhd on my dad because i'm diagnosed myself yeah yeah the apple never falls that far from the tree they don't want to hear that though do they no absolutely not but there's definitely some impulse spending it would change cars every six months and buy a new car all the time and constantly spending on things so it's only

of talking to my mom later on that she told me that you know like even though she was on a good income our account would be in the red at the end of each month because like in France you can go under we don't have the same credit card system so you you have a debit card but you can spend more that's on your account like yeah and so yeah she told me that yeah she often spent time negotiating with the banks and all those kind of things even though the money was there my dad was just quicker at spending in that we weren't earning it no especially if she's working so hard and then trying to bring you guys up it would have been like having a third irresponsible child oh I think worse than that really it's uh yeah yeah so my parents separated when I was in my

early 20s which was hard but once again I think I wish it had happened earlier I think for for my mom's sake I wish she would have found that peace earlier but so they separated I was about I think 2022 and it was right at the time when I met the person who would become my husband well my first husband so that relationship was also not the healthiest and I ended up you know what they say with like sometimes they say you marry your dad that's roughly what happened it's great advice if you have a fantastic dad like great advice terrible advice if your dad was irresponsible but it's funny because it's very true and in like the world of psychology you can like look at a lot of people who talk about it and it's because you find that familiar and you go well oh that that

feels safe and that's very familiar and I'm comfortable with that like there's no real surprise it's not what you deserve it is not what you deserve but from a psychological perspective like that person would have immediately felt very familiar very comfortable like you could predict their behaviors right because you knew what that looked like and you know what that feels like that feels like love safe that was not good oh no not safe but like mentally you feel safe because you know what you can predict and humans inherently love being able to predict what's going to happen next that's interesting that yeah that explains a lot that makes a lot of sense to me it's not fun though like like you probably had to come to some very hard conclusions

that maybe that's not great. And it sounds like you have. Yes. It was also very, very good at spending. So I was not making a great amount of money. I was in my first job. So I was making like not much more above minimum wage, but still trying to save. I've always been a very, very good saver. Definitely getting that from my mom, growing up and putting the pile of money and counting my money and a bit of that behavior, very much a scarcity mindset there. And so I would try to say, but once again, it would be very good at spending and very good at convincing me that we needed things that we didn't. Yeah. Yes. So that didn't help because I didn't want to part with my money, but also very, probably a bit naive and gullible there.

You were just doing what felt right at the time. Like I think sometimes we crucify ourselves and you go, oh, so naive. I was so silly. Like I shouldn't have done that. And of course, in hindsight because you're now more educated. But at the time, you're like, I really like this person and he probably cares about me in the same way that I do about him. And we hope that that's the case. It wasn't. But like, you just can't see through it. No. And getting the dopamine hit from the purchase, which once again, giving a dopamine hit to an ADHD person is not a good idea. Oh, it's good, isn't it? No, I get it. I really get it. So yeah, when we decided to get married, for example, we decided to create a joint account

to put the money for the wedding there to try and save. So until then we had everything separate. So the first time we created a joint account and the deal was every month, let's try and put a couple of hundred each onto that account and try and save. We had planned to get married about two years later. So we had plenty of time to see it coming. I was putting the money every month. I don't think he ever did. I don't think there's one month where he put the money in because he didn't have the money or he would quit his job on a whim. And so there would be no money and I would have to pay for it, like all of those things. So once again, I was bearing that burden. And then one day I was looking for a job and well, actually I was not even looking for a job. I was just

Googling some competitors to my current employer. And one of them ended up being in Australia. And I was like, Ooh, Australia sounds good. And Oh, they're looking for someone that does the same job that what i'm doing so let's just apply just see i had never thought about going to australia at that point it was just a complete whim and i applied and i got the job and a month later we decided to move to the other side of the world and my fiance at the time was unemployed so that was easy for him to follow me and that was about four months before our wedding in france so we're like that's fine we'll move to australia we'll move to australia we'll use that as a test period go back to France for the wedding. And if we didn't like the experience, we'll just stay in

France after that and just take the experience. So it sounds like you've got your head screwed on. You're a smart girl. I like it. It was a good test and a good way to deal with the stress of moving to the other side of the world in the space of a month. So we moved and, you know, with all of that comes paying for flights and paying for visa and paying for all of the things and obviously getting a new accommodation and rent, even though, you know, 11 years ago, rent wasn't as crazy as it is today it was still an expense but it was crazy because your income was probably less yeah and buying a car because we didn't have a car in France we lived in big city but obviously moving to Australia was a different story so we basically arrived in Australia and had

not a dollar left to our name after that we had like until my first income came through my first monthly pay we had pretty much nothing we were starting from zero and we had a wedding four months later so there was that too so that was uh you know that was a bit stressful but it's interesting coming to Australia from another country I felt like the richest person on earth and my income was probably it was the minimum for my visa so something like 55k a year at the time and I felt like the absolute richest person in the world it was amazing so obviously my husband also felt like the richest person in the world and we know what happens in that situation he would just once again spend and be very quick at getting rid of a job just because something was

bothering him and it's not really putting himself towards our big money goals so that's that was a lot and that pattern kept on going so we were married for about four years total and that just kept on going each time you would get a new job or I would get some sort of raise at my work it would be like oh that's amazing with that amount like we had the budget spreadsheet we had everything sorted and you would put it in and be like look with that amount we were going to be able to save this amount or save this amount and at first I was like excited as well but after a couple times I'd be like yeah great I know that's not going to happen because you say that but I know this is just going to get spent because that's what always always happens so that became quite stressful and

very frustrating as well to just not being able to reach any goals because all the money would just go into into things really I'm sorry that feels so stressful and I feel like coming to that conclusion is really hard as well because you go hold on hold on hold on like this isn't what you said it was gonna be it's not and that can be really upsetting yeah it was and I think that's when I reached 30 when I turned 30 I had that big like life crisis where I just realized I was like is this what I want my life to be? And, and the answer was, no, this is, this is just not what I want for myself. I can't keep going. I, I don't know. I had this realization that you only have one life and there's no do over.

There's no, you know, I can try something else at the end of the day. Once it's done, it's done. So I just make the big and really, really hard decision to leave that marriage, which at the time was, it was just so hard. I still can't understand how I did it, but it is to this day, the best decision I've made for myself. And like, there's going to be a lot of people listening to this who might be feeling similar, right? Like how you came to that conclusion, right? So you had probably had some

talks with yourself and some 3am thoughts and not been able to sleep and you're working out what you're going to do. So you've come to this conclusion that, right, I'm going to leave. but how did you start facilitating that? Did you start a conversation? Like, did you move out immediately? Like what did that actually look like? Because I think that that's the part that so many of us are so scared of. It is, it is incredibly hard, especially when we're with someone that is, that is manipulative. It is really, really hard. And I was at the point where I was having several panic attacks a day. And one of my friends who had been through a similar situation told me your body will tell you at some point will tell you to leave because you just

won't have a choice anymore and that's that's the point I reached it it was like my body telling me you have to do it now like it's we can't keep going so I just worked up at home once and I sat down and I remember started crying it's like what's happening and I just told him that it's it's done it's over and that's it and then there was a lot of emotional manipulation and threats and all that that came into it and I almost backed off a few times but each time I was like oh maybe maybe I can't leave my body would go into panic attack and telling me no no no no you've started this oh no no no you're leaving you're leaving by the way we're doing it girl that is that is happening oh and you were like but I just decided I didn't want to it's all too hard and your body's

like we didn't come this far to only come this far that is exactly it so I was extremely lucky first I had a colleague who had a spare room and she's like girl come and stay at mine for a week and just you know so that you can get that space so I moved out and moved in with her in her spare room for about a week and I was also in a job that was wonderful with managers that were wonderful and I went to talk to my boss and say hey this is what's happening I feel like I need the space can I go to France in my family for a couple of weeks and I'll work from there. And they're like, yeah, that's fine. Just take the time. And also we've got an office in London. So you know what, just take three weeks, spend one week in London as well in the office there. Two weeks is not

enough. You need three, just go. They were just wonderful. Oh, what icons. And so I did that. I went away for three weeks that allowed me to put the space that was very much needed. Cause if I had stayed in Australia and the same, you know, in the same city, in the same neighboring suburbs, that would probably have been much, much harder to put that distance between us. And when I was overseas, I also started looking for flats to move in for housemates and found someone. And I think I arrived back in Australia on the Saturday and on Sunday morning, I moved out and moved in with housemates. Oh my God. So it went quick. Yeah. Wow. Logistically, but that was very needed because I don't think I would have been able to just stay nearby.

The manipulation would have been just too intense and too hard. yeah but I'm really glad that you're able to identify that because so many people don't they go oh well you know maybe this is the next step right like maybe just a little bit of distance will do us good no no no run run for the hills that's it once you made the decision you just have to stick to it because it gets even harder and harder to just try again and you know so it it was good but then I was just I think I was in hindsight once again I was just very nice maybe too nice because like oh well I left so he stuck with paying the rent for the place it was my decision so I kept paying half the rent for about six months until I at least ran out so I was paying

for my share of my you know with my housemate I was paying for my room and I was giving him the money for about half of his rent he could have found housemates himself there was many multiple rooms in that house he had many options but I once again I think I was not fully out of his grasp there and I still was doing this and helping which yeah in hindsight I'm like why did I do that but what a nice person that says you are no because you were kind and you know what I would love to be accused of being kind consistently like you did it because you felt at the time that that was the best thing to do did he deserve it absolutely not but it's a reflection of your values not his no I think yeah it's true like at least I can look myself in the mirror and say I've

done the right thing not necessarily by myself but by him absolutely you have so you move out you're in Australia on your own what does life look like then well so financially that's the second home started from scratch because we separated we had some money aside but I took that because I had to buy a car for myself to you know just move around I just needed the car so basically the only share of the saving that we had went into that car it was something like I don't know twelve thousand dollars it was not a crazy crazy amount and then I left him with everything like all of our things everything that was material stayed with him so he kept all of that. And I had two, three suitcases and I bought my car and that was all I had, all I had to my

name at that point, which was a bit scary. But at the same time, that was very much the fresh start that I needed. I was for the first time with a job that I liked with an income that was quite good. If I remember, I was at the time on something like a, maybe like a 90k, something like that oh okay so you'd gone up from that 55k yes so I was earning a good amount of money and I had a reasonable amount of expense and for the first time in my life I didn't have anyone that would come and and touch that money it was mine and it was mine to take control of and that was just the best feeling so I started by reading the barefoot investor and you know this is a first step yep great start and looked at you know all those monies and put my budgets together and put

my different accounts and and all of that and it just felt so liberating to be in control and and to do all of that by myself oh I'm so glad it wasn't scary at all even though I had like very little to my name it it was the best feeling and I was like I can finally save and spend for what my values are well yeah because even if you had little it was all yours no one was going to spend it yes absolutely that was really really good and I was like okay so now you know I'm I said alone in Australia I had friends because I had been there for by then about yeah four and a half years so I knew people I had some friends I had my housemates and I'm still very good friends with now and it was like life was good and it's interesting people at work even told me like

you're standing straighter than you used to it's you're like a different person it's just that whole weight that had been lifted from my shoulder on on all fronts that was the best feeling I adore that I'm so happy that you got to experience that but isn't it crazy that not only mental change but the physical change people experience when they just aren't weighed down by the wrong people like it's crazy I don't think you realize when you're in the thick of it it's only when you come out on the other side and you look back and you're like oh my god oh my god what was I doing but like good on you I love this so I know that you're now married again what happened after that like you would got back into dating and then so only two months after my separation I met that guy on

an app and it was also fresh out of a marriage so what that meant is we were both quite keen on not going too serious too early on and just taking our time. A few months later, when we decided to get serious, we were very clear on our expectations. Communication was big and we were very clear on, okay, if we're going to do this and we're going to do it for real, this is what I'm expecting from a relationship. Family is a big value. We want to be on the same page financially. We want to be on the same page on all aspects. We were very clear on what we were ready or not ready to tolerate I think that was the greatest thing like it's it helped us so much not repeating other mistakes I'm obsessed you deserve all of that how soon after you got out

of that relationship did you get really serious with this new guy about six months so it did go much quicker than I expected it to be and it's also about the time that he decided to move interstate so like okay great now that we're attached and you're moving interstate what's that gonna look like for us luckily my job at the time had an office in that other state so I ended up commuting quite a bit doing two weeks in one office one week in another office and just flying quite a lot for about six months while we were testing out the relationship and then I moved in with him six months after that so I had been out of my previous marriage for about a year when we moved in together when you know you know I just I love love absolutely but we were still

very careful with everything finances dividing everything and both keeping I'd say our money quite close to our chests both being a bit you know scarred with our previous experiences oh absolutely and I think that you do have to protect yourself yeah it took us quite a while to just get to that stage of trust and still to this day we're now you know we're married we've got two kids we've got a house and we still don't share finances fully it's crazy but it's just how it is I kind of love that though like I'm you're just protecting yourselves yes always and we had like lots of discussions though and we moved together in June 2019 so about you know six months before COVID hit which was also a big test on the relationship when you've been living together

for six months and then you end up stuck in an apartment just the two of you for for a few months at a time i get that's a lot and uh that's also when we decided that we would move back to brisbane where we're from and at some point and we would want to buy a house so we decided to buy interstate in covid so obviously we could not fly to brisbane because the borders were constantly closed so interesting fact we actually bought our house after only seeing it on facetime stop it we couldn't fly so we just sent his family we sent his moms and his sisters to inspection with us and they would FaceTime for us and tell us what they thought and that is how we chose our house and that's how we bought it so when we bought the place we had never seen it

just yeah FaceTime and having to trust family members to make the right choice for us and what happened when you turned up at the house were you like oh my god this is not what I expected it was good so we rented it for six months before we were able to move back and the goal was always to either do a renovation or a knockdown rebuild so we're like worst case scenario if it's really bad we'll just start the reno process earlier rather than later but something that's interesting as well so when we we bought the house we did put the same amount each in the deposit so i had been out of my rage for two years i had started from scratch two years before and by that point i had saved over fifty thousand dollars by myself stop it by yourself

by myself I'm so proud of you all my money yeah yeah get it queen I love this that was a big achievement yeah reflecting on that and that really taught me as well what I can achieve when you know I don't have someone leeching on me basically when I have that control and when I can do what I want to yeah it was crazy and I also had started investing at starting ETF so originally I was investing on raise I think I started pretty much the moment I left my marriage because we were doing that with my ex-husband. We were on a raise when it was still called Acorn back in the very early days.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on there then too. Yes. And then 2019 is also when I started listening to She's On Money. I actually went to an event in like October 2019. So very, very early days. Stop it. Oh, please don't talk about it.

That would have been so embarrassing. I would have been such a baby. It was great. It was great. It was a free event in Sydney. and yeah i loved it oh yeah and i did those cute goodie bags and the notebooks yes and so yeah it it really helped me i think put that structure as well around my budget and that's when i got into etfs and all those kind of things so not only did i save that money i had started investing as

well back on the side so i was really proud of of that achievement and yeah we moved into our house and then decided to do a knockdown rebuild and also an interesting fact there we did not actually knocked down the house. We had a better plan financially, which was sell the house, not the land, just the house. So we use one of those relocations company that come and, you know, put your house on the truck and takes your house away. So instead of paying for demolition, you're actually getting paid for the house. So they bought your house literally, but you just kept the land. You were like, you can have the house, but you can't keep it here. Exactly. They just moved our house into another location. Some people bought it and yeah.

Wow. That is very cool. So that was also a big, big saving. Something I definitely recommend to people doing lockdown rebuild, have a talk to these companies because we probably would have paid something like $30,000 for the demolition, removing the asbestos and all that. And we ended up getting paid instead. So that's quite a good deal. I love this. I love this so much. Very, very savvy. I think that's where I was being with my husband was also very financially focused as being a big difference because we're on exactly the same page we talk very openly about money and i want my kids to grow up having those conversations around the house as well hearing us talk about money and all those kind of things to not repeat what i've been through where money was

very much taboo in the house so we have those big goals and now you know we've got the two kids going on to mat leave was very very hard for me because i only had the center link amount of money not company paid leave and having to rely on someone not being in control and not having my own income not being able to contribute to the household that I usually do having to let go that was incredibly hard on me even though my husband is amazing and absolutely was compensating my income with his income and paying for that and it was never even a question for him it's still very very hard to let go I still have that mentality when I'm scared of not having enough money to contribute and I don't want to be dependent on someone like that's something that I

I'm really struggling with so yeah we've got but we do have the two kids now and we are paying our mortgage and we are actually debt recycling for the mortgage so we're investing through through the debt recycling. So yeah, we were previously, we each have our own investing accounts. So we were putting all that money separately, but now we've decided to join that together and put the money into the debt recycling instead. So the way it works is that we paid some money into our mortgage and then we basically split the mortgage into the normal mortgage and an investment loan. And that investment loan is then what is used to invest into the share market. So it's something that we consider for a while before actually pulling the trigger. And it's not something

that we did by ourself. We had a chat with our financial advisor. We had a chat with our mortgage broker. We had a chat with our accountants. We had the whole team just to make sure it's done right because it does come with some risk, especially if you don't do it properly. So I'd say it's a great thing for people who have a mortgage but still want to invest and want to do it, but you need to do it right and make sure you talk to the right people to do it. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that that's something that we get a lot of questions in our community. People ask, should I do it? Like, is it going to work for me? And it's one of those things where it's like debt recycling can be a fantastic strategy if you've got the right team

around you and you've got the right advice. But if you didn't, it can actually be a really terrible thing for you because it obviously involves a significant amount of money and like going back and forth. It sounds like you've nailed it. And I think that maybe at some point soon I should do an episode on debt recycling because of the amount of questions we get because like it can be scary too like if the market goes down and then you get a margin call like oh my goodness like that can be so stressful it basically relies on the market growing more than when your interest is so if you've got a six percent interest rate you need the market to go up by more than six percent every year if it doesn't you're losing money and and that can be quite damaging so you need to be okay

with that as well exactly and I'll talk about that in a hot second I just have so many questions and I just I love that you've got two kids and you found your dream life and your partner and I know you said that you were still struggling with like you know letting go a little bit but that feels fair and reasonable tell me what do you and your partner do now like how much money are you earning so we're on we're on solid amount of money so I earn 140,000 a year that's through my full-time job but I also freelance on the side same with that amount of money I don't need the freelance but that's another thing that I struggle to let go of like there's this money there and I cannot say no if people ask me to do some work so that brings in probably another 20 to 30k a year just

with a freelance oh okay and so what type of freelancing are you doing marketing consulting yeah very cool very cool so I'm I work in marketing in my full-time role and then I also do that. So I've been doing that since COVID pretty much. And I have some clients that have been with me since those days. I did do it full time for a while, but then I just missed the human connection. I just miss working with people. So now I've decided to just keep it on the side and keep the freelance. I still have some projects here and there. And I think it also allows my brain to keep ticking and just thinks of new ideas. So I do enjoy that, but it's yeah. I think I would struggle just saying no to that money. That's 20, 30,000 years can make a big difference

on the mortgage. So it's hard to just say no to that. Exactly. And also earlier, you mentioned that you have ADHD, like we just don't stop. We've just got stuff to do. We're busy, busy people. And if you have free time, you're always like concocting another plan. So I think this is very good for you. Absolutely. And what does your partner do? He works in HR. Very cool. And what type of income does he have? Roughly just on his paid income is about 200. Yeah. Very cool. So you've got a really nice income, which makes sense. And I wanted to know both of your incomes because you mentioned that you were debt recycling and like, there is no way when I was a financial advisor that I would let a couple even think about debt recycling if they didn't have a dual income

of more than $200,000 together. Like it just, it wouldn't become an option because it's just, there's too much risk involved. And that's why I was like, oh, I want to know. Like, I've just got so many questions. Tell me, you've got the family, you've got some big financial goals. What are they? What are we currently working towards? At the moment, it's about paying down that mortgage. It will become much easier once our oldest son starts school in about a year time because they care, cost, they adjust. I think that's one of the things that people don't talk to as much. They're like, sure, we're on a very solid amount of money. Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy with that. But I mean, daycare cost

us about 800 bucks a week. It is rude at this point. It is just rude. Yeah. And like, I don't want people to think I'm complaining. It is a privilege to be able to pay for it. It is a privilege to go back to work, all of that stuff. Great. Fantastic. But when you start sending your kid to daycare, irrespective of what you get back, you have to have that amount of money in your account to go out of your account to then have a refund happen. And that's just a lot of money going back and forth. It is expensive. Like, I don't know what you're paying per day, but we at the moment are paying like 200-ish dollars a day for daycare and Harvey's in daycare two days a week, which is $400 a week. And yes, it is in our budget, but that's a significant amount of money

that I look at and go, oh my God, I could be investing that for his future. Like what is going on here. And you'd be double. Yeah, we pay about, it's about $800 a week after the rebate. Yeah, but your kids would be in daycare full-time too. So that would be so expensive. Yes, they're in full-time. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it's a lot of money coming out. So I think one of the big financial goals is just wait for the kids to be in school. That's definitely going to help, but it's all about paying down the mortgage for us. That's our priority. We would love to be able to retire early. Maybe, you know, at around 50 would be ideal so that we're still young and still can enjoy time with the kids and all of that. So yeah, I think all of our focus at the

moment is on paying down the mortgage, really. I love this. It feels like you're super clear on what you're going to achieve. Have you always been this clear on your money goals? Or do you think that having engaged a financial advisor and spoken to mortgage brokers and doing debt recycling like do you think that that has made you clearer like how do we get this clarity that you've got i've always been a saver definitely still have that scarcity mindset and i think that's yeah it's probably one thing i need to to work on so i've always been a very good saver i wasn't always saving for something sometime it was just about having that money on the side just in case something happens and i still have a bit of that like i've had quite a few health issues

recently and i am so grateful that i had that money aside and i could afford to pay for that and i could afford to pay for the psychiatrist for an adhd diagnosis that's going to help me all of those kind of things so i'm glad i have that but in terms of the money goals yeah no i don't think i was clear i think it's also very much about being with my husband and you know i think he he probably grew up in a very different type of household where where money was a bit more talked about. And he was much clearer on his goals and he's been able to bring me onto that journey with him. Yeah. And that's really beautiful as well as being like, oh my God, yes, you deserve all of this and more. It's definitely been the best. I think

there's been discussions about choosing your partner is the biggest financial decision that you make. But if I look at my past and where I'm now, for me, it's definitely been the one that's had the biggest impact, both in negative and in positive in my life in terms of my financial path. I love it. Let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side, I want to talk more about your investing. I need to know how you're debt recycling, not just that you're doing it. I want the nitty gritty. I also want to know about your debts and I want to know your best and worst money habits. So guys, don't go anywhere. Money Dice, we are back and can we just dive straight back into this debt recycling conversation? Talk to me about your portfolio

structure? Because we know you're investing, we know you're using debt recycling to invest, but what does that mean? How big is your portfolio? Are you investing on a monthly basis? Talk to me about all of the things you can. Okay. So debt recycling, it's something that we've looked at for several years before actually pulling the trigger because it looks so complicated and it took us so long to even get our head around the concept of that splitting and all of those kind of things so one of the the thing that was the trigger for us is also with having you know the two kids in the family we decided to see a financial advisor because we also wanted our insurances sorted and i know you're very big on insurances so we've got all of that they we wanted

the the income and the death and the disability all of that is now sorted and that was a big thing and we we used that time to also talk about that desk recycling yeah so he put a few options towards us. One was more a borrowing to invest. So just pull out a different loan. So you don't have to inject any of your own cash. You keep your current cash flow. You keep your current cash reserve. You're just doing another loan and use that to invest. But that's not what we wanted. What we wanted was reduce our mortgage and use that as an investment. So what that means is you need to have a solid amount of money, like a bit of a deposit that you can use to kickstart the process. So I think we pulled $90,000. So that means we had to have that $90,000 in cash.

Yeah. So we had to have that in cash. We put that against the mortgage to split it. And so that meant we reduced our mortgage by $90,000. And then we had another loan on the side that was a $90,000 investment loan that was fully offset by that cash we had pulled and put in. So that was that was the structure. Now that $90,000 investment loan, we needed to first do a first big investment once again to start it. So I think we put something like 30K straight in, straight into the market. So our portfolio is ETF based. So we're just investing in ETFs there. And then now from then on, we put two and a half thousand dollars a month into that.

So just dollar cost averaging on a monthly basis. So I think that's going to give us two years. I think it is 48 or two and a half. Yeah, that's two years worth of investing without having to think about it. And so we're using those two years to rebuild our savings so that in two years time, we can do that again, put some more money towards mortgage, take it out of the mortgage, put into the investment loan and keep going basically until the mortgage is down to zero and all the money is in the investment loan. Yes, I love it because there's a clear strategy.

Yes, but it took me a while to understand it because I was like, wait a minute, we're not really paying down the mortgage because we're just having another loan into it. So at the end of the day, we still have the loan, we still owe the money. But the way it works is I have a $90,000 loan, but once that money is fully into the stock market, hopefully it's worth more than $90,000 because the stock market is going up. So we would be, if we wanted to, we would be in a position at the end to fully repay that money and still have some leftover. Then how we do it, that's a conversation for later on, depending on what the market is like at the time. Do we want to repay a big chunk at once? Do we want to just repay it slowly? We'll figure that out, I think,

when we get to it in a few years. Yeah. And that can happen over time. Exactly. And you guys are still young enough to make the most of that as well. Debt recycling, I would say if you're very, very close to retirement is not a good idea because the risk is just too high and you don't have enough time on your side, but you guys have so much time on your side to get through that. And I think that it lowers the risk that you've started with the cash you paid it off your mortgage and then leveraged your mortgage into the market. That makes me as an ex-financial advisor feel much better about it because some people just go in and leverage their equity. So don't get me wrong, it's not a bad strategy still, but they might find

some equity in their mortgage, release that, and then use that to invest. But you then have no cash that you've coughed up. So there's no fallback. So I feel like yours is, yes, debt recycling is risky, but I feel like you're doing it in a smarter way where you probably have a little bit more stability. Yeah, well, that's why we went to a financial advisor to advise us really on what would be the best strategy for us and our conditions. Yeah, give us the good strategy and we will run with it and we'll do it. But sometimes I just want to be told, I get it, I get it. Talk to me about debt then.

You mentioned you have your mortgage and then you have your investment loans. How much debt are you in? What does that look like? So our mortgage at this stage is at still $860,000. so yeah what that looks like it's you know it's still solid repayments there so we're hoping we're gonna go and see a few more interest rates uh decrease over the next few months that would be lovely and then we've got the investment loan on the side so that's uh that was a 90 000 investment loan but uh quite a bit of that still half of that i think is offset uh still at this

stage by that money that we we pulled out and that's it in terms of debt i do have a credit credit card, but I paid fully every month. So I don't really consider that as a debt. No, that makes sense. And why do you have a credit card? Is it so that you can collect points or just manage cash flow better? Like what's the plan around the credit card? The main point is points. Yeah, points, queen. I love this. And what are you doing with your points? At the moment, not much. Last time when I had my credit card and I had to close it, I just used it to get a bunch of gift cards and I paid my groceries for a few weeks with that. So

that was free groceries. So that was lovely. I only had that credit card for about a year. so it wasn't too much but my thinking is if I have to spend the money because I don't increase my spending because I have a credit card it's just it's I use it the exact same way I would use a debit card so if it's money that I have to spend might as well get something back for it look I'm on your team but also we need to be so careful because if we're not good at money management like you clearly are we end up in a pickle because we end up spending more than we earn so I feel like yes it can be a fantastic tool and I've only just started to really utilize it now I feel a bit more mature, baby me, she would have gone ham. And you know what? She did go ham.

But today's me, I'm like, oh, this is a very good strategy. I need to be responsible with this. But I really like it. I want to go back to the house conversation for a hot second. You've got $860,000 mortgage. What is that property worth? And when did you first purchase? Okay. So we first purchased in 2020 for 500 and something. So that was the little cottage that were there on the land. So that's the cottage that we sold and we kept the land. And then we did a build. I think the build was worth about 600, something like that. So let's say the investment into all of it was about 1 to 1.1, something like that. And that property now is worth probably around 1.5, 1.6. Oh, how good. And is that the house that you live in?

yes yes and that's very much our forever house yeah so it's like your family home and is that the plan to kind of stay in that family home for a long period of time or are there plans to upgrade or change or move no 100 staying there so i think it's pretty much two years to the day that we've been in in this house and that is the longest i've spent in one place since i've been 18 since i moved out of house i've moved out 17 times in 17 years wow i am done i am done with moving this is my house now. You're like, I'm not leaving. Sorry about that. That's not an option. Exactly. I love this. All right. So tell me, I feel like you've got some pretty good money habits. I mean, you came in and you said, I'm an A minus. So what do you think is your best

money habit? I have a sneaky suspicion. It might be like your ability to save. I think it's my tracking. I am obsessive with my tracking spending. So I used to track every month. I would just get my expenses every month and sort of categorize them. I've just realized that one month is just too long because I would be very good at sticking at a goal for two weeks. And then my brand would just go, two weeks is enough, let's go do something else. So now I track daily.

So every morning I open my computer and I open my bank app and I put my expenses in. So I know exactly how I'm tracking at any point of the month. And then it updates everything and I do my net worth monthly and I've got the charts and the colors and I love it. I am absolutely obsessed with my spreadsheet so that's definitely I'd say my best money I've been there I love that on the flip side what's your worst money habit do you even have one it is so there's I think there's two things one thing is my kids they're they're my worst money habits just

in themselves because I just can't resist like a little treat for them or I can say no to treat for myself easy like I can rein that in but when it comes to my kid my kids like both of them getting like you know a book or a puzzle or a little treat so just going to the cafe with them and seeing their little face I yeah I am much much harder to to stop there and the other one is definitely that I struggle to spend I still have the scarcity mindset I'm still scared of spending I still think about the what if I would love to be able to to sort of give up some of the freelance to have more times in the evenings and be you know less tired and less stressed but I just can't help it. It's always like, but what if something happens? What if I lose my job?

I got made redundant from a job about 18 months ago. I was seven weeks pregnant with my second kid at the time. Oh my God. Yeah. That would have been so stressful. So trying to find another job in that situation was really, really hard. And I was so glad I had my freelance to fall back on and be able to dial it up real quick to get some money in that now I still can't help myself and I was like but if I stop it and then something happens and I don't have anything to fall back on what what's going to happen so I still struggle with that we're also planning a big holiday next year and same like spending for that when I see those numbers they scare me and you know we have the money and my husband really really rightly told me it's like yes but what's the point of

savings so that we're able to do it in 10 years when the kids are older when we actually can do it now we do have the savings we're not you know we're not overspending for this we're we're still doing it the right way but you know why would you wait and maybe do it in 10 years when you know we can do it now yeah it sounds like maybe there's a little bit of work to do yes definitely and you know we're we're both getting better with my husband as I say trusting each other with money we still have a we do have a joint account for all you know everything that's mortgage and kids and all those sort of things. But we're also now more open with our own money

where, you know, we've been together seven years. So it's probably good that there is some progress. Oh, 100%. And I think you're absolutely on the right track as well. And given, you know, you were so open with us about your history and where you've come from and what you're going through, I get it. And you know what?

It's not very helpful to then also be made redundant that proves that you needed your second job. Like, I think I'd be in your shoes and going, I don't really want to get rid of this now, especially while you're carrying debt and I'm not saying that you shouldn't but I think that I would fully understand that situation and that mindset but it does take as you already know significant work to get out of that mindset and go no no no that's not the reality this isn't who I want to be or what I want to do and is that the only thing that you reckon you have to work on to maybe get

to an A plus or what else would have to change for you to get there? No I think that's it I think if I was a bit more reasonable sometime with the kids spending. And if I was a bit more relaxed around my own money, yeah, I think I'd be pretty good there. I'm the same as you. I feel like before I was a mom, I was like, oh no, I won't get carried away with books and puzzles and little things that he wants. And now he's only what, like 20 months old or something. And I'm literally like, oh my goodness. Like if he wants something, I'm like, yeah, baby, let's go get it. You want to go get baby chinos like I just love spending the time with him and like watching his little face light up when he has a new book like ah it's so bad it's dangerous isn't it and it's the little

things because it's not you know I always say like I don't want to spoil my kid I don't want to you know constantly buy him new toys and new things but the little things the books and the time together and oh you want to have a little ride on that little merry-go-round the shopping center yes sure it's only three bucks and just it adds up no it does add up it does add up and I have become that mom. And like, I don't know, I don't think you can spoil your kids with books. Like, I just have this belief and I will forever like believe that if my kid asks me for a book, he can have it. Like if he asked for other stuff, I'll be like, nah, but if you want a book, like I will absolutely always buy you books. I hope that that is something that, you know,

hopefully sparks a lot of love for reading and whatnot. And I know that's good for them. So I'm kind of like, do you want to go to Dimmicks? And like the Dimmicks at my house or like close to my house is across from Coles so that's not helpful for me my mom was a literature teacher so I grew up surrounded with books and that's definitely something that probably something I should spend a bit less as well I do have the library subscription and all that but yeah for my kids I want their walls covered with books I'd be happy with that I love it I love it well Marnie Dyrus unfortunately we've run out of time I wish we had so much more time to chat but this has been such a beautiful story of you really starting from scratch not once but twice and then

I know still having a little bit of baggage when it comes to the emotional side but like it sounds like you're killing it and the plan is to retire by 50 so I just think this is cool like you've done an epic job and I'm just so excited about where you're at now so thank you so much for sharing your journey with me I know that my community are going to love it just as much as I have well thank you very much for having me the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a

financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.