She's On The Money - She Wanted Vanilla...

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Happy Friday! It's a Bec-less ep today but never fear, Victoria and Jess have PLENTY for you today. As ever we share your money wins, solve a Money Dilemma about salary packaging, AND a tricky DM was dealt to us this week. If your partner gets a financially rewarding, but remote work opportunity, should you pack up your thriving small business to follow them? Tune in to get the goss! Want to try Marley Spoon? Use the code: VICTORIA on sign up and you'll get up to $225 off your first 7 boxes including free shipping on your first box! Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast millennials who want financial freedom Today, my friends, is Friday, which means it is time to get our little team together. And by little, I mean it's just Jess and I today. Hi, Jessica. Miss you, Bec. We're going to be talking today about our incredible She's On The Money community. We're also going to be sharing our favorite money wins. We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about

explaining salary packaging. And we're going to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMs about. And this week, we're talking about taking a step back in your career to support your partner's goals. Miss Jessica Ricci, how has your week been? It's been good. I feel like I'm just kind of plodding along. Nothing's super exciting.

What did I do? I went to Pilates. Oh, big dog energy. Sickness queen. It must be nice. Apart from that, I don't think I did anything exciting at all, really. How about you? I went to Bali.

Yeah, I thought there was that. Yeah, I went to Bali and then I came back from Bali and now we're here. I didn't get Bali belly. That's a win for you. Honestly, surprising given my ability to eat anything that's put in front of me. Like, you know when they're like, oh, don't eat this and don't eat that if you're in Bali. I'm like, it looks good though. Probably going to give it a crack.

So we did that. That's actually really fun because it was for my best friend's wedding. She looks so beautiful. We had her wedding and also her hands party. I obviously haven't uploaded any wedding pictures yet because she hasn't uploaded any wedding pictures yet. Yeah. I feel like those are the rules. Like you're not allowed to post pictures of the bride and groom

until the bride and groom have posted pictures. I feel like it goes without saying. It's just obvious. I've seen pictures of her on the internet already. Am I allowed to be salty about that or nah? It's not my wedding, but like. I wouldn't do it, but that's just me. The judgment.

We all know how much I love to be posting on my Instagram. So if I'm saying no, I feel like it's a line in the sand. And the hen's was Barbie themed. It was. You know what, this week's Barbie week. It is Barbie week. We haven't even seen Barbie yet because we haven't had time. But we're going as a team very soon, and I'm very excited about that.

You love to say it's smashing all the records as well, like the highest grossing female directed movie. I feel like it's the highest grossing so far this year, wasn't it? Absolutely wild. But I think my favorite thing coming out of the Barbie movie, having not seen it yet, is it's being slammed by a lot of American journalists. And someone did a little montage of pictures of those American journalists, and all of them are beautiful blonde women.

And I'm like, the irony is not lost. Like, you're slamming Barbie, yet here you are. Yeah. I feel like the people who are slamming Barbie, from what I've seen, not having seen the film yet, it seems to be people who are taking it at surface level and not really looking into how it relates to the plight of women. And I've heard that it's very clever, the way that they put it together and the themes that they touch on and the way that they explore them. And so I think, or my opinion, again, having not seen it. Having not seen the movie.

here's our opinion on the movie. Wait until we see it. We're going to be so opinionated. We'll come back next week with a full review for you. But a lot of people that I've seen complaining are men or people who maybe don't have a significant amount of experience as a female in the world where it's all about patriarchy. So I'm very excited to see how they pull it apart while keeping it kid friendly as well. I sent you this meme. I don't know if it's a meme. It's just like a screenshot from Twitter, I believe. And it's from someone called technically Ron, and they said, I took one-star reviews from Barbie from Furious Men on Letterboxd, which I'm assuming is just like a social media platform in the US, and I put them on the Barbie

poster because it makes the film seem even cooler. Are you ready to hear some of their comments? An alienating, dangerous, and perversive film. That is a lot. I want to see it. It was signed off on by a children's toy company. How bad can it be? I don't know. This one says, The Feminist Agenda Will Kill Us All. Oh, my gosh. The next one, are you ready? Yeah. They Won't Be Happy Until We're All Gay.

People just... See, this is the thing that makes me really mad. And my favourite, are you ready? It's a pink acid trip that feels a lot like being slapped by lots of confusingly attractive people. I kind of love that. I just want to see the movie even more now, but that's apparently what some mediocre middle-aged white men

had to say about the Barbie film. And you know what? You're selling it to me, guys. You are absolutely selling it to me. They didn't need that $145 million marketing budget. They don't need it because you're doing it on the internet for free. Exactly. And I just love how people are just not having it.

Yeah. You know how sometimes people slam a movie and you're like, oh, I don't know if I'll see that now. Everyone's going on mass. Every negative review, I'm like, I need to see it more. Every positive review, I'm like, yes, queen, get it. There's no losing here. You can't tell me that I don't want to see this movie. You can't.

Stay tuned for She's on the Movie Review. We'll come back to you next week. Yeah, and we might have a real opinion about the Barbie movie. You might have noticed that we are lacking a Bec today. She has hurt her neck. Coincidentally, on her birthday. I don't know. We'll have to call her out next week.

Bad karma? Oh, I called him sick to work. Either way. I don't know. We miss you, Bec. Hope you feel better soon. Happy birthday. We brought you or Jess brought you in flowers.

We brought you in flowers. I mean, I probably paid for them, but you remember to pick them up, yeah? that's how this relationship works, let's be honest. I'm all over it. I really appreciate it. But Bec isn't here. And to be honest, Jess and I could not do her broke tips justice. So how about we dive straight into your community wins? What have you pulled out this week, my friend? My first money win this week comes from Louise, who said, I wanted a book, but Amazon was going to charge me a lot of money in postage. So I checked out the local secondhand bookstore and saved myself $10. I forgot that secondhand bookstores exist.

I did too. I mean, I wasn't sure if that was just me. Is it just like at the Salvos? No, like there are whole entire stores that are just dedicated secondhand bookstores. There's one quite close to our studio. Really? Yeah, and they literally, you can buy books. It's just full of She's on the Money books.

Do you remember the time someone sent us a picture of one of our She's on the Money tote bags? Those tote bags are so good too. They sent us a picture of a tote bag from She's on the Money in Salvos. And do you know what? I was like, that's what I paid for it. Yep. It was money win for someone out there. It's an excellent tote bag.

But, yeah, good reminder to anyone who wants to read a book, secondhand bookstores, so good. My next money win is from Amy who said, I finished the investing She's on the Money podcast episodes and have started investing. Yes, queen. I've committed $50 a week and other irregular payments. Oh, that's heaps.

As or when I can. Not much to start with, but as a now single mum of five who took a long time off work to look after my babies when I was partnered. I'm excited to start investing for my retirement. What? Single mum of five investing $50 a week? Huge.

I can't. Amy, you're totally wrong. That's a huge amount. I want to hear everybody else's excuses, Jessica. We're very proud of you. I love this. Next, I've got a money win from Melinda who said, I wanted to buy new inserts for my Uggs and a friend

had some sheepskin and cut them for me for free. And I included this. That's so niche. That is so niche. I didn't even know you could buy inserts for Uggs. I was just going to say, I picked that one because it has literally never occurred to me that you could replace the inside of Fluffy. Because, you know, Fluffy slippers, Uggs, they get a bit feral.

They get real nasty after a while and then you go, oh, well, am I going to throw them out because my feet stink? No, I'm going to continue to wear them for the next 10 years. Well, and you can't wash them. No. So Melinda's on the money. Melinda. Replace the lining.

Yes, but I have questions. My little ADHD brain's like, well, how did that come up in conversation with your friend? Were you like, oh, what are you doing after this coffee that we're having? Oh, I'm going shopping for UGG inserts. Oh, babe, don't worry. I happen to have a supply of sheepskin in my wardrobe. Like, where did that come from? I mean, if it works, it works, right?

You know what? No one's arguing. File that one away for later. What else have you got? Next, I have a money win from Kendall. Simple, but I kind of love it. Money win. My coals click and collect substituted 600 grams of chicken breasts, which is what I

ordered for 1.4 kilo of chicken instead. That's a lot of chicken. Do you tick substitute? You know how there's the button when you click it? Do you just, it's such a gamble because sometimes it's like this and you get pretty much what you wanted, but maybe a little better. And I remember once I ordered Pepsi Max because I'm a Pepsi Max girly. Do you know what they gave me? Sprite. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. We had that the other day actually. So one of my favorite ice creams is this like coconut based vanilla ice cream and there's not a lot of substitute but on my app it automatically ticks substitute and the plan was to have it with apple crumble because as you guys know apple crumble is the og dessert won't hear about it from anywhere else so want my vanilla

ice cream with apple crumble and they guess what they did they substituted it same brand technically still plant-based, but choc-mint ice cream is not good with apple crumble. So thanks for thinking of me and not giving me an ice cream I won't eat, but also I did have to take myself to the shops. It's so funny because sometimes they're bang on it and sometimes you're like- Where's your brain? Not even close. Where's your brain? She wanted vanilla and you gave her choc-mint. Bit of a fun gamble. Why not? My next money win comes from Christy who said,

I got my weekly Marley Spoon box and they had given me not one, but two freebies. Yes, they do that all the time. One ready-made sticky date pudding and one black rice ready mix. Who doesn't love a free dessert? The absolute best. I did not get massive complaint to Marley Spoon. I didn't get free sticky date pudding. Oh, well, you're not.

And I work for you. You're not the favourite. I see how it is. But we will pop Victoria's Code in the box if you do want to get yourself. Marley Spoon's literally the best thing in the entire world. And I am working with them at the moment as like a Marley ambassador, which is like my favorite job ever. But it's funny because people are like, oh, do you just eat their food because, you know,

they're working with you? I'm like, sis, I've been posting on Instagram about Marley Spoons since like 2015. I think they owe it to me now. At this point, like I've worked for this ambassadorship. They were like, just put the girl on the roster. She's getting really annoying. Like she thinks she works here. You know that person that's so obsessed with one brand?

they like only wear that brand that's me with food amazing marley we love it we love marley big fans here and then lastly i have a money man from julia who said although i needed the money from my freshly opened emergency fund for a small food shop and it's now back down to zero dollars it was such a relief to have that money i needed aside and i'm so proud that it was taken for an essential and not a want i love it i love it julia how good is that that's such a good habit such a good habit and it's just going to grow from here on in because in another couple of weeks you'll put that money back and then you won't need it in the same way that you needed it this time and it'll just build up i love it so much all right jess let's go to a really quick break

because on the flip side i think we're going to get into the juicy conversation of what salary packaging actually means and we're also going to be unpacking a question that you slid into our dms about and we're going to be talking about whether it's okay or not to take a step back in your career to support your partner's goals. So don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short

voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hey, she's on the money team. Over the last few years, I've been working in a role that was casual and now I've just been employed in a full-time role that pays an $85,000 salary plus super plus a work vehicle. I hear my co-workers talk a lot about salary packaging and I've got no idea what this means. Can you break it down and explain what it means and how it benefits employees love the show and thanks for answering hello my name is victoria divine and i'm gonna say go listen to the episode that we did on salary packaging i just want to i'm not obviously victoria divine in case you can tell it's jessia hello i would just like to plug our

archive because this podcast has been around for five years now she's been around a while she's been around the block once or twice remember when we thought we were all young i mean we're still fresh baby face. However, that's my Botox. We've covered many an episode on this podcast. And did you know, you can go on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you like to get your podcasts from. And if you go to the page of She's On The Money, you can actually search keywords. Yeah. Like you can type in salary packaging. And then what would happen, Jess? You would see an episode from the 7th of April, 2021. What's it called?

Nice, in brackets, salary package. Hey, I feel like you might've had something to do with that. Excellent name. But do you want to give us a little quick cheeky rundown just to make it easy for everyone listening? I do. And I think it's a really important thing to talk about, especially when you start to get to those higher salary bands where you're like, oh, like tax is starting to bite me in the bottom a little bit because tax is a lot. And salary packaging is essentially a way that you can sort of bring down your taxable income in a way. So salary packaging is when your employer packages your salary into income and benefits. And that's what salary packaging

is known as. And you can do heaps of different things here. So essentially, salary packaging is when you arrange to receive less income tax. So let's just use you as an example, Jess. I would pay you less, but you would get a benefit that is paid for by my company. So instead of the tax rate applying to you, which, you know, would probably be 32.5 cents in every single dollar, it actually gets packaged up and the benefit comes out of your pre-tax salary, which is kind of sexy because you're 32.5% better off in this particular circumstance. So you could package up things like a car or you could do your mobile phone or you could do, you know, a heap of different things that are related to your job or

are something that might benefit you. So I know that in a lot of circumstances, people want to salary package their rent, which is possible. That's kind of sexy. 32.5% better off. I'm going to try that. People might want to salary sacrifice childcare, or you might actually want to do this for superannuation. Obviously, the superannuation system is a little bit different, but it's still salary packaging. So the important thing is that most employers will offer salary sacrifice to super, but most will actually restrict the benefits of salary packaging in general because it is a lot of admin. Like it's quite hard to keep track of as a small business. So it's not in their best

interest to do that. So salary packaging can fall into three different categories. So we've got fringe benefits, we've got exempt benefits and superannuation. So we discussed superannuation already. That's where you sacrifice some of your pre-tax income to superannuation to put it away for your future retirement. There is a different tax system inside super, which is going to tax that contribution at 15 cents in the dollar. But when you are at a normal salary band, like 32.5 cents in every dollar, you're clearly more than 15% better off. So that's kind of sexy, right? Love it. The other one is fringe benefits. So fringe benefits can include things like salary sacrificing for a car. It could be health insurance. It could be loans, usually for a car,

school fees, childcare fees, or other personal expenses. And your employer is going to pay what's called FBT or fringe benefit tax on these benefits. That is a completely different set of benefits compared to the exempt benefits. So an exempt benefit to go through that really quickly is things like portable electronic devices like phones and laptops, computer software, protective clothing tools of the trade and your employer doesn't have to pay fringe benefit tax on that and that's because it's usually related to your employment and so there's lots of different ways of doing this and I mean I'm getting pretty into it go listen to the episode we cover all of it and as much as it was done a couple of years ago FBT and salary packaging hasn't changed significantly

I just think the most important thing to think about is it's not free money I know that it sounds really sexy. And if you're going to get a car, of course, if salary packaging is available, that's something you should consider. However, I do think a lot of people use their salary packaging kind of just as an excuse to overspend in areas that they wouldn't have if the money was in their bank account. So like if you're salary packaging food and entertainment, that food and entertainment allowance actually can't be spent on groceries. It actually has to be spent on dining out. And therefore you're maybe dining out a lot more than what you would have dined out had that money been in your account and been allocated to another goal or expense.

So I think it's just so important to think about, well, how is this going to serve me? Because I mean, if you are needing to buy a new family car, well then maybe that is a good idea to save some tax and, you know, put yourself in the best possible position. However, we've got to make sure that we're not then overspending on the car just because you go, oh, but it's much cheaper now yeah you feel like you've got all this extra money when it's it's still money that no we should be making the most of it and I think the other thing when it comes to salary packaging is how committed you are to your employer I know that sounds really negative but like Jess if you weren't planning on sticking around that's a really big I guess salary responsibility that you have with me

that you know a new employer might not immediately pick up on and needs to be taken into consideration so if you're doing something like a novated lease which again is different but often falls into the same conversation bucket yeah that might mean that you have to get rid of your car when you get a new job and if you're not planning on staying with that employee a long term or maybe let's rethink how that might work structurally so i think there's a lot to consider but essentially salary packaging is where you sacrifice part of your salary to reduce your tax yeah and that kind of sound sexy if used in the best possible way. But as I said, a lot of people use it in a way that kind of gives them permission to overspend in a way that they wouldn't have if I had put that

cash in front of you, Jess. We do not support that here. No, I think it's about making the most of it. Like if you've got access to salary packaging, my friend, get it clean. Exciting. Especially if that is in your budget. Like if you've gone and done your she's on the money budgeting cashflow plan and you know that each and every single month you spend X on dining out, well, why not put that budget straight into salary packaging so it can make sense. If you can do the same for rent, talk to your employer about it. These are things that could potentially put you in a better financial position. I just don't want to see the system not abused, but you know what I mean? I just don't want people taking it and going, oh, it's free money because it's tax-free. I feel

like the second you say tax-free or tax refund, people assume that they didn't work for that money and that's not the case. Oh, that's super interesting. And definitely go back and listen to that episode that you guys did a little while ago because I feel like it got into the nitty gritty of it because there is a lot to unpack there, but not to scooch it along. You are wanting to scooch it along because if anyone loves the drummer, it's Miss Jessica Ritchie. Absolutely. And I feel like this week's question is such a good one. All right. All right. So this week's community dilemma. Let's go. This week we got a message and it went like this. Hey girlies, bit of a sticky one. My partner has been offered a really

amazing opportunity to partly own a business interstate, which would really set us up financially, but it's in a remote town. I currently work as a makeup artist and I have a really good client base where I am. So I'm having a hard time taking steps back in my career for him, even though it would be a great financial opportunity. I'm just not sure how should I approach this. I feel like people are going to have very different opinions on this. And it's really hard because I think you look at it and you go okay when you're in a partnership with somebody you obviously hope for their success you want them to do well you want them to thrive you want to do whatever you can to support that but it's a big ask of anybody to pick up their life

and move and I would say the same if it was the other way around if she had the opportunity and she was asking a partner to move I think regardless it's a lot to leave behind firstly her career it sounds like, her existing client base, all of the work that she's done to maybe build up her personal brand in the area and the connections that she's got. If she's moving somewhere remote, I'm imagining perhaps there may not be as many opportunities to do that kind of work, depending on just how big or small the town is. And then you're also moving away from your support network, your friends, your family, your favorite local coffee shop. That's important. It's very important and I just feel like it's I can understand why she's a little bit unsure but

then I can also understand how that might make her feel guilty because she feels like oh well I'm not supporting them in the way that I should or in the way that I would want to be supported so it is it is really a sticky one isn't it I find it really hard because I think in theory you go oh my gosh let's support our partner and if Steve needed to do anything for his career, I would try my hardest to make sure that he was as well supported as possible. However, it's, well, what does day to day look like? You're moving to a remote location. What's the expectation of you? So are you just staying at home while he goes and makes heaps of money and that's really good, but you don't have a social life, you don't have a job.

That's probably going to lead to you feeling pretty flat. Are you expected to go and get a completely different career because unfortunately, you know, let's pretend you're moving to Karratha. Makeup artist is probably not needed up near the mines, right? It's not something that there is a lot of demand for and that's so fine. But would there be the expectation that you get a job, you know, at the local shops? If so, how is that going to nourish you? Are you going to feel empowered and engaged in the same way that you are feeling that way in your current job? And I think that there's just a lot to take into consideration and I think the tone of this message really beautiful like I love that you want to support your partner I really really do

but when we talk about you know there's this opportunity to partly own a business interstate stunning but it was the financial driver like is there the opportunity for him to maybe start a bit earlier on maybe not step into a pre-established business but if he's super passionate about that could he do that somewhere else? Because as much as this is a money podcast, money isn't absolutely everything. We need to find that balance of, well, what's going to work for us? Like if you took me out of the city, I wouldn't have a purpose. I'd be very upset. Not at my partner. I just wouldn't have a lot to do. So I feel like it's really important to think about, well, what does your current lifestyle look like? You're right, Jess. What if your lifestyle involves getting up every

single morning going for a coffee and you know maybe you and your partner have worked out that that's okay to have that level of compromise but what level of compromise are you willing to take on in order for them to you know thrive yeah and if that's the case do you both need to go yeah like I am a very big believer in you know just making things work and not everything is super easy always but maybe you kind of do a FIFO thing where you are a makeup artist and you only have set days that you might work and you go and do the remote stuff with your partner for a week on and off like I don't know how that could work yeah but there might be a way of still keeping a foot in the door and staying engaged in your current career while still supporting your partner

to maybe do this because who knows if it's going to work out what if he gets there and he's like this is the worst thing I've ever done yeah and it's kind of how do you feel about them like outside of his opportunity, would you be excited about the move? I feel like that's how I would look at it is if he wasn't going to get heaps of money from this new job in this new state and he said, hey, like, why don't we move to Karratha or wherever it is? Yeah. I just picked like somewhere that I knew was super remote. I literally never heard of it. So well done. You're welcome. It's in Perth.

Oh, there you go. Oh, it's not in Perth. It's in Western Australia. You know, would you be excited about the opportunity to move there? Would you feel like you have different options or plans or routes that you could take if you moved there. And if not, then as you said, like what compromises can you make around that? It's a real pickle because I think, you know, you want to do everything you can for the person that you love. And I totally understand and respect that. But on the flip side of that, I guess if he loves and respects you, he also maybe won't. He should take that into consideration too,

and weigh the pros and the cons up. Yeah. So it sounds like you have to have a big conversation. Obviously, we don't have a huge amount of information in this little note that we got telling us all of the context, but I kind of see both sides. I do too. I don't fully know where I sit. Have you ever had this hypothetical conversation with your partner? Like, what if you wanted to move to London? Or is that just me?

No, not really. Who just like makes up really random situations in my head. Am I the drama? Would you still love me if I'm an egg? Yeah. If I was a worm, would you treat me the same? Would you still think I'm pretty? That's me.

but have you not spoken to your partner about like moving overseas not really to be honest but for us it's not really something that's on either of our radars I think we're both really comfortable in our careers how they're progressing right now where we are yeah maybe that's on us maybe that's a conversation we should have had and we haven't ah so I have had that conversation and it was instigated by getting pets yeah so like I already had a cat and I am definitely a homebody like I have lived overseas for a short period of time but didn't love it because I'm such a homebody wanted to be in my own space and like I need to be close to my friends and my family like I just I'm a bit boring Jess so I remember when my partner and I were talking about getting another

cat I was like do you want to move to London he was like wait what I was like do you want to move to London like he was like no where did you pull London from I don't know I think everybody who moves overseas is going to live in London. You know what, now that you say that, a lot of people have. I feel like if you're going to go work overseas, like you're not going on a holiday. It's easy with the visa. Yeah, I feel like, anyway, that's me stereotyping. But I remember going, would you ever move to London? And he was like, no. And I was like, would you move to Singapore? No. Would you move to Sydney? And he's like, only if there was a really good career opportunity or you got a really good career opportunity. And I was like, nice. Good answer.

So I think it was a good conversation to have because, you know, obviously pets came into it and I can't, like I'm not the type of person that's like, oh, well, if the opportunity came up, I'd get rid of my pets. I was going to say, bring it back around. What was the pet thing? Is that, oh, if we move to London, what do we do with the animals? Yeah, because like I had Bailey, so I had my own cat,

and I am a lot in a relationship. But when we moved in together, I said, Bailey is my cat. I've had him for five years or whatever it is before we got together. if we break up for any reason that's my cat that's not your responsibility like 100% mine but when we got pets together we got Henry our other cat I was like hold up whose responsibility is this yeah like I'm I think just a financial ex-financial planner at heart so I was like well whose financial responsibility will this be yeah are you gonna take the cat am I gonna take the cat and like we both pet people so he was like well you don't get both of them yeah I was like

Yes, but are you going to separate them? Cruel. I know, right? Anyway, so we had all of this conversation and there was that discussion of would you move for an amazing opportunity? And we both kind of said, look, it would have to be a life-changing opportunity to even consider it because I feel like getting pets and talking about home ownership is really putting roots down in a way that we hadn't before.

But I think if we had been 22 and didn't have pets, maybe we would have jumped at it. So I think it's just such a sticky situation because it's going to be different for absolutely everybody. I completely agree. What did everybody else kind of think? Because we're both fence sitting right now, which is very unlike us. I feel like I want to know way more about your relationship. And I feel a little bit apprehensive because you've said remote location and you've said

you're a makeup artist, which I feel like is something that is in lower demand in remote locations. And I just go, every makeup artist I know, super passionate. So, like, can you imagine taking, like, our friend Hillary out of the makeup world? No. Right? Not at all. Like, she'd just be so flat.

Yeah. Like, that's her entire, so I just feel like you're so passionate about what you do that maybe you need the passion. Anyway, so someone said, my husband has just taken a step back to help my career soar. I would do the same thing for him. Someone said you really need to elaborate on the word partner, for example, boyfriend or husband. I don't think so.

I think that's a bit old school. I agree. what if they don't get married my sister-in-law and why do you have to get married together forever they have two kids they're not married they have no plans to be married yeah amen I don't think that it matters how you define it I think it matters whether you define your relationship as ongoing or not though yeah so like is this just like I think the question maybe is is this just like a boyfriend thing like someone you're just seeing versus like a potential yeah but I'm also cut and dry don't live with someone you don't plan on marrying or like not marrying

but don't plan on staying with. Yeah. Like otherwise you're wasting your time and you're wasting theirs by. Mm-hmm. Got A and H, D. Hot take. Black and white. Someone else said, what are your current goals and values?

Would this move support this? Great. Classic VD answer. Someone said, you need to talk to your partner about it. Thanks, Rastis. Someone else said, trial long distance for a little bit and see if he actually likes it. If he does, then revisit the conversation.

That's a good idea. I like that. Someone said, oh, man, this one needs a million percent more information. Agreed. Yeah. Someone else said, does he have to move to run the business? Can you live apart for one year to set yourselves up? Someone else said, Northern Territory resident here, you also need to think about all the hidden costs of living remote and not just getting financial benefit, which is true. Everything's more expensive living remotely. Yeah. So it might eat away at the potential

larger benefits. Yeah. Someone else is on the same page as me and they said, could she split her weeks between the different locations. That's a big thing for someone to take on as well, though. Yeah, like just even the mental load, but also financially, what, now you have two houses? Yeah, flats every couple of weeks or every month. Yeah. Someone said, can't you work out a way to do both? Could you maybe do a fly in, fly out type of thing? So I think everyone's trying to just make everything happen all at one time. Yeah. I get it. Someone said, consider your happiness and career in this decision. You worked really hard to build your current business. You don't necessarily need to put his first. And I think that's good. Someone else said, I'd go for it.

She could set up in the next big town over if there is one. And that's a good point. Like you don't have to work immediately close to home if there's, if maybe that is a good compromise. Maybe you're, oh, I'm happy to drive an hour or half an hour because that would be a commute for me normally. You can find somewhere close by. Yeah. Someone also said, I recently did it. The savings are actually epic. Remote people love welcoming new people with skills. That is like completely the opposite of what someone else said. I know.

I just, that's why this conversation is so hard, Jess, because it's like, I think. You need to know the where and the how. Yeah. And I think at the crux of this conversation, what I would love to think is, regardless of what our opinion is, my opinion now thinking about all of this, is I hope that you both have been able to sit down and look at the pros and cons for each person and have a very empathetic conversation where your partner can put themselves in your shoes and vice versa. Because I think that sometimes in these conversations, one party gets this epic opportunity and it's the best thing ever

and they look at their partner and go, but Jess, why aren't you letting me do this? Like this is going to change our lives without seeing that maybe there's compromise and every relationship has compromise in it. Like it's not 100% you and it's not 100% them. So you need to come to a resolution that works for both of you. But the best way to do that is to have a conversation that not necessarily looks at what their perfect outcome is, but well, what is the opportunity on the table? How do we look at this pragmatically and go, all right, well, what is the benefit of doing this? What is the benefit of staying here? What would our lives look like if we went down this pathway versus that pathway? And I think that you need to have that holistic conversation

and try and take your personal opinions out of it while you have that to then go, all right, well, now personal opinions, what do you want to do? What are you most drawn to? Because I would be most upset if I knew that they were just driving it because they really wanted to do it but hadn't really thought about your happiness. Yeah.

Approach it with empathy and kindness and a little bit of practicality. I agree. I agree. I think that's all we have time for today, Miss Jessica Ritchie. I think so too. We'll be back next week with Bec, but until then, have the best weekend and we'll see you on Monday for a money diary. Bye. The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your

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