She's On The Money - Should You Change Careers? And a Wedding Budget Blowout Drama

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Ever felt like your job’s covering the bills but slowly crushing your soul, and caught yourself wondering, surely there’s more to life than this? This week, we dive headfirst into the career pivot spiral: is chasing a dream job worth the financial hit, or should you suck it up and stay for the salary? We unpack the real costs (money, mindset, and missed brunches) and how to test-drive a new path without blowing up your budget. Then we dial up the drama with a DM from our community: her sibling’s throwing a fairytale wedding… funded by delusional levels of debt. Do you step in, say nothing, or just top up your champagne and smile through the financial meltdown? And as always, we’ve packed in your money wins (from free burgers to $30 fashion hauls), unhinged broke tips, and a healthy amount of feel-good chaos to carry you into the weekend. Ready for more laughs, lessons, and unhinged money chats? Check out our oh-so-bingeable Friday Drinks playlist. Listen here. Join our 300K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan, mumibangada bomi ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools

knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite day of the week because we get the team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's on the Money community. Ms. Jessica Ricci, she's here sharing our favorite money wins. Ms. Bex Syed is sharing her broke tips, and we're going to be helping to answer a money dilemma, which this week is all about what to do when your current role isn't your dream gig and something that you slid into our DMs

about this week, whether you should speak up about the debt a sibling is going into for their wedding. A little bit juicy, guys, a little bit juicy. How were your weeks before we get there? Mine's been good. Nothing exciting. Can't believe it's nearly August. I want to talk about it.

Yeah. I did this last week and I said I didn't want to talk about it last week. either so at least i'm consistent consistency is key absolutely how about you back anything fun to report it's my birthday in five days five whole days yeah because i'm june 30 and you're july 30 i'm july 30 you're july 7 9 9 close i love the confidence i always remember jess's birthday because 99 from brooklyn 99 99 it's not like a funny thing oh sorry Oh, an inside joke. If you get it, you get it.

If you don't, you don't. Usually don't just think. You'd really like it. Oh, you would do that. I don't. I tried it. I didn't. You didn't?

I didn't. What? I'm shocked. Are you sure you were watching the same Brooklyn Nine-Nine? Because I just feel like you would be into Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I'm very disappointed in this news. Is it Terry Crews? Terry Crews.

Yeah, I love Terry Crews. Yeah, I do like Terry Crews. I just love all of them. But I couldn't, I couldn't. Oh, there you go. Bad feels. Sometimes I just get bad feels from shows. mash bad feels malcolm in the middle bad feels oh i don't like malcolm in the middle i loved malcolm

i don't remember the what's his name frankie munitz on i'm a celebrity he was brilliant oh was he on there he was on australian i'm a celebrity it was so good australian i'm a celebrity you aren't even australian get out i know i don't know why but he was i he was really anyway oh my god i'm getting very off track sorry all right so book one nine nine good apparently malcolm in the middle bad um would you guys like a five-star review yes please i'm glad you asked because I was going to give it to you anyway, honestly. So this, last week, it was from a girl called Jess. This week, it is also from a girl called Jess.

Different Jess. I did check their username. You wouldn't put it past you. So five star, love you, She's On The Money girlies. I love She's On The Money. The podcast has changed my life for the better. When I started listening at the very beginning of the show, I was in 20K of personal debt in my early 20s.

I got out of debt, got my finances and insurances sorted, which is lucky because I got sick and needed my income protection insurance. Now I'm well again. I'm back at work. I have been investing for five years and I just moved into my first home. I bought all on my own. I would not be here without everything I've learned from VD. And I love what Jess and Beck bring to the show and the vibes all around.

Keep doing your amazing work. Are you joking? You're in debt. And then you got personal insurance all sorted, no doubt through Phil Thompson. And then you got to claim on it. I mean, that's not good, but I'm glad you're well again. and i'm glad you were supported through that process and well done and thank you so much that is such a kind review i mean you guys are the best part of the show like i'm oh bd

guys i'm not the personality hire hey that's not true i was a finance hire ah that makes sense and you can't fire me because i started it you know you know i love it but one of my other favorite things about this show is our community and jess every single week you look at our money wins and confessions and then bring the top I think five or six to the show what have you got all righty firstly this week from Kate she said she had to call a plumber for blocked drains that feels so adult ew yeah nobody likes to spend money on that stuff but the plumber asked her to show the magnet that she saw his company number on I'm assuming maybe it was a letterbox drop and he gave her a $79 discount that apparently was available on that

keep the magnets I always throw those out me too apparently it could work in your favor and then he said if she gave him a five-star review she'd get 20 bucks cash back which i think is iconic from the plumber that's so funny very clever i don't give cash back for my reviews no it poor business feels wrong it feels like buying them but also i respect the hustle next i got a money win from claudia who said as an experiment her and her husband have been saving any cash that they get from unexpected avenues since the start of the year turns out they've made 400 just from selling items on marketplace trading in their bottles for loose change in just six months she said normally that cash would just disappear and end up being split

between us but instead we've decided to spend it on something fun while they're on holiday gorgeous the little bits add up next i've got one from giselle who said she went into city chic to buy some bathers and some shorts turns out the entire store every single item was 30 each what doesn't matter how much it was marked at everything was 30 shutting down i don't know maybe is that how you pronounce it yeah steady chic you thought it was chic i'm pretty sure it's chic i think it's chic that's how i would say it open to interpretation i feel like chic has a k on the end yeah yes i do feel that chic is maybe like the vibe they're going for yeah anyway giselle said she got a few additional items for less than what she would have spent on just her bathers and

shorts oh i hope you enjoy your holiday because i'm assuming if you're buying bathers in july I go, you're going somewhere better than where we are right now. It must be very nice for some. Next, I've got one from Michaela who said she finally deleted Afterpay after it had a desk grip on her and she also has purchased a new car which has halved her gas budget. Well done, Michaela. Good for you.

Enjoy your freedom, queen. So hard. Yeah. Well done. And then lastly, I've got one from Kate who said thanks to the pod, she joined the grilled, is it Mad Monday? Whatever we've mentioned it before. Yeah, Beck's all about it.

She said she signed up. She won this week and she got herself a free burger. She split the cost of the burger and got some onion rings too, so we both enjoyed a much cheaper treat. The onion rings from Grilled are – They're so good. Have you ever had them? Never.

Oh, girl, we need to go. They live rent-free in my brain. They live – honestly, they're almost up there with the cross-section Caesar wrap. They're so good. Oh, my God. Good to know. And then I know I said that was the last one, but I did also just want to shout out –

I've got more. I've got more. We got a lot of good pet tax photos this week, So I just wanted to say a shout out to Ebony, Jackie, Carla, and Charlene. Everyone should go look at the thread because may I just share with you a selection. Oh, tiny baby. I'm so ready. Adorable.

Look at all these screenshots. Jess has just screenshots of your pets on her phone. I literally just have photos of people's dogs right now on my phone. Look at this little cutie. Oh, I don't even know what that is. It's like a corgi cross staffy. Sweet little cutie. Hi, baby.

Anyway, baby. Oh, tuxedo cat. Very fancy. We're loving the pet tags. Thank you, Queens. Okay, that's the best part of our community, actually. I take back everything I've ever said about money wins and confessions. No, we just like your pictures of your pets.

Thank you. Bec, what have you got when it comes to broke tips? Okay, so I do have my broke tips. I just really quickly want to add a money win. I was working at my friend's op shop, Still Good Recycled in Brunswick, and so not so subtle. What's it called? It can literally be the most shameless plug ever.

Thank you so much. It's our show. We do what we want. I did it really quickly in case anyone wanted to fire me beforehand. But I was working there and then my car, I was on Sydney Road and my car got towed. But I went outside and I was like, oh, it's a real shame. And then I saw it up the road and I was like, the shop's still open.

And I'm like, well, I'm going to sprint. I'm going to sprint. And then I sprinted to the guy and he was like, oh, you work at Stilgood. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, okay, you can have it back. But I did have to pay $360. But it was cheaper than the impound one. Yeah, it is.

It was like $480 or something. And then the Uber would have cost me like $20. books. When I was pregnant with Harvey, I did that and got my car impounded. One out of 10, do not park in a no standing zone. And I also feel like I should have got some type of pregnancy tax on that because I had baby brain. Exactly. I'm so sorry. But like, I remember walking out and being like, Victoria, I was at the hairdressers. I think you guys heard about this at the time. I was at the hairdressers and I fully knew I'd been going to Boda for years. Yeah. I knew that it was a no standing zone outside that still did it. Didn't matter. You know what? Maybe I deserved

it in hindsight you didn't deserve it though oh thank you but turns out if you tell people you work at an op shop they'll give you a car back yes yes he was so sweet and the guy told me he definitely can't take it off the truck it's illegal apparently no okay it's not because me and this other couple got our cars off and we had just had to pay him on the spot and easy done so do you reckon he took the money himself do you reckon he's got a sneaky little pay terminal i don't even care it's like i'm not asking questions i'm neither do i but i need to know his hustle i need to know his hustle because like i just am pervy when it comes to cash i hope he kept the money he was so sweet he gave him my car back that's so sweet anyway okay okay he also took

your car let's not forget yeah it really feels like one of those like he was so nice that feels like a trauma bond we definitely trauma bonded okay so this first one comes from reese who sent me a screenshot of an uber eats $10 ding dong deal i didn't know this was a thing but i think it's like maybe it's like an early in the evening thing that i have never ever seen before neither have i and i feel like a ding dong deal has been made up but that's okay carry on maybe they did um you know what's sticking photoshop this you all aren't gonna forget that today but you know you can get like you know a four-piece nigiri nine dollars which is you know kind of you know normal but then there are things like burgers huge normal sized burgers for ten dollars like

and cheaper as well so normal size just jump on to have an end date on it i think it's like i mean my guess i don't have much information but my guess is it's it's between the five and six o'clock hour where it's like maybe a little bit too early for dinner but like close enough to dinner that you're probably going to be on the app and then you can get yourself a deal and there's so many so many different restaurants on there so yeah snag yourself something that's great and then the next one comes from jade who says that coming into winter don't turn up the heating and throw away that thin blanket please go grab yourself a sleeping bag preferably the ones that say minus three degrees or something and use that as your couch blankie so clever genius because you

those things are really made for the most dire like out in the snow situation i think a lot of people are buying the kmart heaters like the mini ones and you guys have only just started realizing how much they cost to run yeah so like we're just gonna have to turn to blankets and wheat packs i think and get a sleeping bag yeah that's actually a great idea catch me looking like a worm on my I'm like, oh, yeah. Catch me looking like a worm. They used to have those. I don't know if they still have them.

Also, the blanket won't sleep off your feet because you're in a little package. Yeah, exactly. I'm a burrito. That's so cute. But those ones that have the, like, they're like a bodysuit, you know, those sleeping bags. A doona suit. No. Oh, that's a business.

This used to be a thing. I don't know if it still is, but it's like you zip it up and you're in like a big onesie. Like it has legs and arms. It has legs, it has arms, it's a sleeping bag. That sounds like my dream. I was putting my kid into his pyjamas the other day and he wears zip-up onesies with the little footsie things on it. I'm thinking, this guy knows what's up.

Do we all recall, this was such a fever dream, when I was in high school, I reckon I would have been year 12, when animal onesies, there was just this craze. Oh, yeah, I had a stitch onesie. Yeah, everyone had one of those and it was like a blanket material. I think mine was a unicorn. Yeah. Do you remember this?

I was trying to forget it, yeah. It was like a... And everyone wore them everywhere. Everyone. Yeah, you'd wear them to the shops. to the movies. Sorry, yes, I do. It was great.

Like, what a time. I didn't wear them to the shops. I just owned it. I don't think I did either. I wore them to sleepovers at friends' houses. Yes. I wore them to muck up day, I'm pretty sure. Oh, I dressed up as Superwoman to muck up day.

Oh, I went as Honey Boo Boo. Oh, cute. I never want photos of either of those events to surface. Anyway, I'm going to do the sleeping bag. That's a great one. Thanks, Bec. I love that. What else have you got, Bec?

Okay, so my one for this week, my best friend, Liv. She is opening a queer bar in Fitzroy North, which is very exciting. And it's going to be named after her mum. It is Bernice. So cute. Oh, that is a good name. I mean, she's both cute.

There's lots of weekends at Bernice. Guys, you're not going to believe this, actually. Tomorrow on the 26th of July, I'm going to gay line dancing. I'm not gay, but like, I just feel like that's going to be good. And my best friend is, so she's my ticket in. Yeah. Gay line dancing. Tell me, tell me that that doesn't sound like the best time ever.

Yeah, it does. Is it in Fitzroy? Is it run by two women, like a couple? It is. So they ran one at Moondog. Yes. And I went to the tail. They did a tail flip on these.

It is them. They are such queens. Harry is literally flying over from Tassie. I'm picking her up after this episode. And we are going to the gay line dancing tomorrow. That's so fun. And we tried to convince Steve that he didn't need to come. We're like, no, you don't need to come.

It's fine. You have to stay home and look after the baby. Obviously, it's just us. Well, the line dancing, it's a great time. It was so fun. I just think it'll be really, I still haven't worked out what I'm going to wear, but I'll call you after. But this feels like, I mean, that feels like that Kath and Kim episode

where Kath thinks that Kim's Gertrude. What's her? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Throwing her hand back in the river. For anyone without context, just watch Kath and Kim once in a while. Also, go gay line dancing. And go gay line dancing. I'll report back next week.

I'll let you know how this goes. And then, what did I say? Oh, yeah, my best friend is opening a queer bar in Fitzroy North. I'm not going to go to her bar right now. No pre's at Liv's. No, for three minutes. It's not even open yet, but that's okay. Boycotting for three minutes.

but no please do go and support because I will definitely be there but yes the process has been very exciting and she got a bunch of these sample tiles as you would if you're you know doing a splashback anyway I'm a big supporter of the square tile I just I don't like the brick one I think it looks good in some context anyway that's really irrelevant she got a bunch of square tiles because I literally insisted and so when she was finished with them she's like oh yeah I like this color, whatever. Here's all these sample tiles that I'm not going to use anymore. Free, all very cheap.

And I thought, these are stunning coasters. And I just think that is if you're pretending that you're renovating. I know it's probably illegal, isn't it? If you go and you pretend you're renovating, you get all these different sampled coasters. There's some stunning ones like olive green. You've got your matte like burnt orange. Oh, my God, it's just a beautiful coaster.

So I think if you – and those things would be quite expensive in your, where do they sell them, a door? The tile place. Abode? Yeah, the tile place. Adair's, sorry. Oh, Adair, yes. I don't know if they sell them there.

You can probably find lots of people on Facebook Marketplace that have gotten samples that they're just giving away. Totally. Oh, we don't need these anymore. So sample tiles make great coasters is my broke tip. Cutie. That's quite smart. Thank you.

Quite smart. All right, let's go to a really quick break. I'm going to ask Jess what I should wear to the gay line dancing. and then after the break we're going to be talking about what do you do when your current role isn't your dream gig and then something that you slid into our dms about this week we're asking whether you should speak up about the debt a sibling is going to go into for their wedding or not anyway see you after the break welcome back everybody let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the money

team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hey, Suze on the money. My money slash career dilemma is whether I should go back to uni or suck it up in a high paying okay job. I'm currently 27, three years into working in corporate construction, which honestly for a better way of putting it, I don't really care about. I've thought about a career change to corporate marketing, et cetera. I love fashion and the beauty field, but with a hex debt already of 50,000 K and the thought of adding more to

that, let alone putting all other dreams of owning a home, getting married, all those things on hold is really scary. I'm not sure if I should stay in this career with good pay, good growth and a challenge or risk it all for a career that might not work out or give me all the things that I want in life. So please help. I saw a quote the other day that said, if you don't make a career change at 30 that you really want to be, you're giving up the opportunity to be a 60 year old with 30 years of experience. And I think that that is really relevant because like, girl, you're never too old. Like even if you're 40 or 50 or even 60 and you want to try something new, like what's the worst that could happen? Totally. Exactly. I don't know. What are your thoughts, Jess? I think that

I totally get the Hextet thing. Like that's something that would put me off as well. I wonder if there's a way for you to either find an opportunity to kind of, I'm a big side door person. Like you don't have to go in the front door, find a side door. Can you like maybe move into a different department within the company you're currently with? Can you express some, hey, like this is something I'd really like to do. Is there a marketing team that I could get some experience with in a junior role? There are sometimes ways that you can learn on the job without getting the degree, especially marketing. I know it's, I don't want to contradict myself because I know a lot of marketing jobs do require a degree, but also experience speaks volumes. So

if there's a way for you to kind of sidestep into a junior role, get some experience, see if you like it as well. Cause you're saying you can always revert back to that career with that type paying. Exactly. Especially if you're able to do it at the same company or at a similar company, that kind of feels like a nice middle ground to me. The other thing I would say is there are lots of short courses you could do. You could do TAFE, like you don't have to necessarily do or jump straight into, you know, a four year full blown university degree. Like if you're just wanting to test the field, see if you like it, see if it is something that you would want to do long-term, maybe look at doing something like that instead so you're still educating you're upskilling

the other thing I would say is potentially if your company is happy for you to move into that spot they might even be open to subsidizing it for you as a part of your like PD or they might be even interested in hiring you just because you're enrolled in the course correct so I feel like there's a lot of things that you can do to maybe dip a toe in not have to take on the full weight of full-time study and obviously the costs that come with that but in terms of like should you make a career change I think your happiness is very important like another 30 years is a long time to spend in a job that you hate you know see I'm a bit of a sacrifice girly like and like don't do as I say like as in don't do what I do because like that could be seen as being a little bit

delusional but I did both like I was working in psychology and wanted to go into finance and I obviously needed a degree to do that. So I did a full-time master's degree at the same time as working full-time. And I'm not saying that everybody has the privilege to do that. And it is so exhausting, but like what a privilege to be exhausted

by something that I chose to be challenged by. Like it's not as though I didn't choose that challenge and I'm like, oh my God, life sucks. I'm so tired all the time. Yeah, I was tired, but I was getting what I wanted and I got a very good outcome out of that. And I'm not saying that my trajectory or my career trajectory is the same as everybody else's, but like sometimes you go, all right, well, if I zoom out, maybe I could do uni part-time after

work. And like what I did was quote part-time university during the general terms. And then over the Christmas, New Year's holiday, they had like intensive units and I could do two at a time through that period and basically turbocharged my degree. So I was doing it like part-time, full-time, like part-time workload is two units per semester and full-time is four. And I was doing, I think three and then an additional one over the Christmas, New Year's holiday to like make it up. Anyway, it doesn't matter how I did it, but I just think that sometimes work-life balance, like you're going to have work, you're going to have life and you're going to have family. And sometimes things have to pull back a little bit. I didn't have a social life. Am I saying

that that was the best thing ever? Am I saying that's for you? No, but sometimes life has to be about compromise to get where you want to go. Like, I don't know. I feel like with things like this, you can't have your cake and eat it too and go, okay, cool. I'll go into perfectly full-time study and go back on, you know, Aus study or Centrelink and, you know, glide through that way and then work my way back up. Like maybe you could do a part-time course, or maybe you could go back to uni and do it part-time. Yes, it might take eight years instead of four, or yes, it might take six years instead of three, but like that's six years of you working towards a goal and you'll work out pretty quickly if you like the content or not. Yeah, definitely. Um, anyway, I'm just

very much a, if you really want something, just do it and work it all out later. Yeah. That's big, big, big energy. But also, um, I kept my full-time job and needed my income. Um, and beck's just like yolo yeah that's true that's true um i just think keeps like income nice concept i forgot about that i don't know because i'm sure you get to a point in life you don't have to get into a point to a point in life but some people do get to a point in their life where they can't not be making a certain amount of money lest they 100 and like what i'm talking about guys i was single i didn't have any dependents i didn't have a mortgage i got into some debt during that time I'm not going to say that I like, I could not make that decision right now with my family.

Sorry. That's not an option. Totally. So I think that if you don't have those like monetary responsibilities or commitments, keep starting over because like, and I've said this before, but like everything's kind of like made up. So like, if you don't have a passion or if you don't know what, like we just have to, and also we spend so much time at work. It sucks. Like we just like see, we probably, we probably see our colleagues more than we see our friends and family. And so like most of our life unfortunately is at work which is a crazy crazy thought but just keep starting over until you're finally like somewhat happy because otherwise majority of your life genuinely majority of your life is miserable let's just not regret it like try not to even

though you have to work like i'm quite scurvy literally eat yeah but like you don't regret the decisions you made you regret the things you didn't do so true you can always go back like if you start into marketing, you decide you don't love it, the job's still going to be there, the industry's still going to be there. You clearly already have the experience, so I agree. All right. Are you guys ready for a DM? Yes, please.

Yeah. All right, this week's DM. Hey, she's on the money. My brother is getting married and honestly, my whole family has lost the plot and it's like the value of money doesn't even exist anymore. They don't earn a lot of money, but my sister-in-law is acting like there's a never-ending pot of money.

They can't afford all the things she wants and so they're just racking up all this debt to quote make her stress go away. She keeps saying I'll just sell it after the wedding but it's stuff no one is going to want second hand and definitely not for the prices she thinks she's going to get. It's delusional. I brought it up gently of course and now our whole family thinks I'm the bad guy. Now I am expected to just go along with everything and celebrate and say how wonderful everything is and it makes me feel sick at the debt that they're going into how do we feel about this weddings i don't understand but i get i get like you know some people want big weddings are sick i loved my wedding like if you

said i could have my wedding again i would it makes me depressed sometimes thinking that i'm never gonna have another wedding in my entire life i do a vow renewal yeah do a vow renewal it's fine it's a big party lame yeah but like it will never be as big of a party as the party that i got to have for my wedding saying that i went into no debt for that and that's privilege but like also this sounds very stressful is it because the amount of people or is it because of the like decor like what was it about that is i think that they're like at the end of the day the average wedding here in australia costs more than fifty thousand dollars and that is a massive financial burden on anybody totally and i'm just saying like and easily like i'm not gonna lie easily

you can spend more than a hundred thousand dollars on a wedding right and i don't mean that you know Like, oh, my God, it was so easy because, like, I'm an expensive girly. No, no, no. Like, once you get your venue, once you get your dress, once you get flowers, like, it all honestly adds up. Like, these days, videographer, easy, $10,000. Photographer, easy, $6,000 to $10,000. Crazy.

And those are reasonable prices. Those are not things that you're like, oh, that's an expensive. No, that's normal. Yeah. Oh, my God. Like, these things add up. You want your husband in a suit? You want matching suits for the groomsmen?

Bam. You want nice shoes? Bam. like all those things just they add up i get it i really do it's all arbitrary i don't know like it's kind of it's kind of annoying i don't know why but i i can really appreciate a really beautiful wedding like aesthetically you know what and especially if you want the photos the party last forever and everything looks beautiful so i totally do get that but i guess the only thing i would suggest and some people aren't like you know open to this conversation especially if

it's like before the wedding and they're really excited for it and this this kind of conversation can be really like a wet blanket but kind of like asking the why and then also kind of getting into like what life looks like afterward and what marriage looks like afterwards and all this kind of stuff and just kind of being like this is because there is life after I don't I get that because when I'm having a birthday party I'm having a house party in a few days and you guys are obviously invited. Clearly not. But I.

Awkward Jess, do you want to do something when Beck's having a house party that we weren't invited to? I'll just sit out the front window and watch. No worries, Beck. Nope, nope, nope. No, I did invite you on Facebook, but I don't know if anyone checks it anymore. On Facebook? I don't check Facebook.

That's so fair. But thank you for the invite. Of course. But when I'm having a birthday party, I can't even see life after it because I'm like so excited to it. I don't even know what life looks like when my birthday is over, you know, so I can totally understand being like in that headspace and be like, this day is everything to me and I'm going to make sure it looks so beautiful and so big and so grand. But then if someone said to me, hey,

do you know that life will still go on afterward? Hopefully. Then I would probably stop to think like, oh yeah, I probably don't need to buy 20,000 fairy lights, you know, things like that. So just like just gently nudging them to ask why they're doing what they're doing. I feel like clearly they have been nudging them because the bride said well with those 20,000 fairy lights I'm going to sell them on Facebook marketplace obviously make my money back like she's clearly thought about this and I mean I don't know it's a tricky person who wrote in said they're delusional what do you reckon Jess I will say I do have a feeling that every DIY bride ever has said I'll buy it and then sell it on Facebook marketplace just purely from my own Facebook marketplace stalking it seems

like there is so much wedding stuff out there so firstly look she should be seeing if she can buy secondhand or Facebook marketplace. But I also think that you're probably not going to make a huge amount of money just based on, again, kind of what I've seen out there in the world, depending on what it is, obviously. I would honestly kind of say, I think you've done your job. Like, I think you've kind of tried to be the voice of reason. You've said, hey, have we thought about this? You know, you can make suggestions, maybe buy secondhand, maybe rent, maybe whatever. At the end of the day, it's not your money. And it's, I think honestly not your place like I understand and I agree that you know is it a choice that is

the most fiscally responsible perhaps not is it a choice that I personally would make perhaps not but it's not my money or your money or your life and therefore really not they're an adult they're making a decision correct not your choice not your problem I think your circus not your monkeys absolutely I think like any good friend good family member will kind of flag issues I think that is a hard part of being a good friend is sometimes you do have to say, hey, I get that you're excited. I'm going to be the bad guy for a second. And you spoke about it because you care, not because you were trying to criticize. Yeah, exactly right. And there's a way to do that. And it sounds like our listener has really tried. Once you've done that, I think your job is done

truthfully. And I think it's kind of like, okay, well let them make their choices. They're adults and they can do what they want. I agree. And I guess from my perspective, like I resonate with that I resonate with our listener question so much because I also get like relatively frustrated when I see people making really irresponsible decisions because I'm like you know I'm a finance girly and like at the end of the day my entire career is crafted around the fact that I help people make good money decisions and I just don't want you to make bad ones but when emotions come into it especially when it's stuff like weddings like when emotions and money are involved sometimes even your gentle honesty can come across as criticism and it can be taken the wrong way.

And I think that Jess is absolutely correct. You've done your job. I don't think you're the bad guy here. You're the one wanting them to think beyond their perfect day. And clearly they're not going to. And maybe right now it's actually about you protecting your own boundaries and going, do you know what? I flagged it. It wasn't taken well. Maybe you need to step back from the celebrations so that you're not swept up in the quote delusion of it all maybe we need to just step back and be supportive be supportive be the person who's like yep anything you need you let me know I'm going to be there with bells on and I'm going to be the best sister-in-law ever you let me know what you need but sometimes the best thing that we can do is actually quietly

step back and let people learn on their own yeah definitely sometimes it's actually not your job like you flagged it they've clearly taken a discriticism they clearly think that you're not doing the right thing and sometimes letting people learn as they grow is really important even though that is so hard to watch sometimes like it's not life or death yes there's debt involved sometimes they're gonna have to learn the hard way and you know what they might come out the other side and be like oh my god we're in so much debt it's so worth it well that's it we don't know bend in line with your values maybe that's a choice that they made that they said yeah we know we're gonna take on the debt and we're really happy with that yeah I find it so hard

to watch those. So I so resonate. I really do get it. We asked our community though, guys, what do you think? We said, would you speak up if you thought a sibling was making bad financial choices for their wedding? 45% of you said 100% they need to hear it. 39% of you said only if they asked for my opinion. 14% said, no, it's not my place. And 2% said I have, and it didn't go well. The next question we asked is, is it enabling if no one questions bad wedding spending? 51% said definitely, yes. 41% said no, it's no one else's business. And 8% said being supportive is the most important.

I think I can be supportive. I totally can be supportive. I'm always going to question you. Like, Bec, you quit your job recently and you've told us that and I've been like, look, totally supportive, love what you're doing. Have you thought about A, B, C and D? And you've said yes and I've said great, no worries, your decision. But, like, I'm always going to be that friend that questions you a little bit

because I'm like, oh, is this like the right decision? Because like what if you got further down the line and then you go, guys, no one said X, Y, Z or no one questioned me or no one said it was a bad idea. They're all just, you know, blindly support me. And that's not what I, I don't know. I just question it.

But like, hopefully when I question you, you know, it's coming from a place of love and the fact that I care about you, not because I'm like, you're an idiot back. Because that's not it at all. I'm literally like, okay, queen, love this for you. But have we thought through the process? My type A personality is coming out.

We also asked the community, guys, what's your two cents? And did you have a two cents? First person said, whoa, you guys are really spending big. You must have saved for ages. We know debt's involved, though. We don't need to be, I don't know. Petty. We don't need to be petty.

Next person said, the irony of spending more to keep her stress away. Girl. Next person said, right now watching my sister refinance her mortgage for a $50,000 wedding is stressing me. I'm actually very worried for her. Next person said, it's not just the sibling money mindset. It's the bride to be as well. You're actually already outnumbered. It's true. Right. Next person said, you said your piece. Now you have to accept their choice and move on. Fair. Another person said, if you're not paying, you don't have an opinion. I kind of agree with that on some level. Yeah, I agree. That's like guest lists for weddings as

well. Oh, hard agree on that. Got a lot of wedding conversation to have, but if someone wants to invite people pay to play baby next person to pada said if you feel you must say something choose your words and timing very carefully because unsolicited advice feels awful to receive someone else has clearly been listening to my podcast and this is the last one um she said not my circus not my monkeys amen i feel like i say that all the time it's such a nice like it's like oh i can let go of this yeah yeah not my circus not my monkeys i also like to say pay Peanuts Get Monkeys. I've never heard that one. I wrote it in my first book, actually, and I mildly regret it. Well, you're going to see you lean in now. I think I was talking about

superannuation, but that's okay. Yeah. Anyway, that's it from us, guys. We hope you have a beautiful weekend and we'll see you bright and early on Monday for a very good money diary. Bye, guys. Bye. the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money

Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.