She's On The Money - Should You Invest While You're Still In Debt? And an Early Inheritance Dilemma

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

You’re smashing your financial goals, debt’s going down, confidence’s going up, and then that little voice pipes up: “Should I be investing too?” This week, we’re unpacking the guilt trip of the financially responsible. Can you actually build wealth while you still owe money? Victoria’s breaking down the maths and the mindset, and proving that sometimes the hottest ROI is just being a little bit boring. Then, an early-inheritance nightmare that’s giving full moral hangover. Her parents gifted her $50K for a house deposit… until they hit money trouble and might need it back. Do you hand it over out of love, or keep it and become the villain in your own family group chat? It’s financial guilt, family politics, and the ultimate test of boundaries. Plus, a brand-new segment where you get to ask the team anything (yes, really), a few chaotic money wins, and broke tips so unhinged they might actually work. Need the team’s take on your money dilemma? Send us a voicemail here.Or if it's more of a spicy money drama and you want the communities verdict? Slide into our DMs here. Victoria's Marley Spoon Code: Use VICTORIASAVES to get up to $230 off your first 5 boxes, including free shipping on your first one. Ready for more laughs, lessons, and unhinged money chats? Check out our oh-so-bingeable Friday Drinks playlist. Listen here. Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Tii, gulinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yambina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imalan, mumubangada boma ininyalan waka, gaunan yakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools

knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast that makes personal finance less scary this Halloween. It's also Friday, our favorite day of the week because we get the team together and we get to celebrate you, the incredible She's On The Money community who are arguably a lot less spooky than Halloween. Miss Jessica Ricci, she's going to be sharing our favorite money wins. Bec is back and she'll be sharing her broke tips and we'll be helping to answer our money dilemma, which is all about whether you should prioritize investing when you have debt. And something that you slid into our DMs about this week, whether you should give back

and early inheritance when your parents are now struggling, which I think is going to be rough. So you guys know that Friday drinks episodes, I would say they're a little bit chaotic sometimes and I always ask my team, how was your week? But I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I don't care about your week.

Oh. No, no, I do. I do. I already asked you though, so I already know. But I really want to add something different and take that time and then use it more effectively, right? So we're going to give you the chance to ask the team one thing you want to know. Money, life advice, hot takes, literally anything. And then we're going to answer it on the show. And because it is Halloween and it is so spooky, I thought I'd

kick it off with a spooky question from me, because then I'm hoping that our community DM us questions that they want to know the answers to from Beck and Jess I want to know what is your scariest social money nightmare oh um do you have one ready to go that you would like to yes I feel like for me it's all about I know we've shown others on the show before but it's the having to follow people up for money oh yuck um totally happy to do it once because I think we all forget right like I have absolutely got to transfer people money when I vote them for like dinner or something like that but it's but you're like wholesome so if I was to ever follow you up I think you'd be like oh my god sorry here it is immediately like it's not evasive totally I think

my worst nightmare is being on the end where like somebody owes me a lot of money that I then need to chase because I think I feel you know you feel guilty about it and but then you need the money or you want the money I feel like the stress of just like having to follow someone up a lot is very uncomfortable to me. And again, like thankfully not a position I've ever really had to be in, but there's just my worst nightmare. My worst nightmare. Your worst social nightmare. Yeah, absolutely. What is your scariest social money nightmare?

Well, I'm very blessed with the best. I have, I feel very safe being a broke girl in my friendship circles. I need to make you less safe. Yeah, that's a really good idea. Like, I just want to make you real rich. She's got an axe coming out of her head. I'll threaten you into a better money position. Oh, you put this here?

But I think like the scariest thing for me is when it's secondhand, let's say like, you know, you're going to visit your partner's family at Christmas or a friend's family or like something that is beyond your close circle, whether it's like immediate family or close friends or whatever. That's when I get really anxious because it's like, you know, for example, I've got to visit my partner's mom on the Gold Coast and I'm going to have to bring something. And that is making me so stressed because you can't. And I think there's something about that

secondhand or like when someone doesn't know you as well as your close people and you are expected to like just buy like a nice, thoughtful thing that isn't super personalized because you don't know them as well either. So it has to kind of come from a little bit of money. It has to be a good bottle of wine or a good something. We can brainstorm this together. I think that stresses me out. We'll work on it. We'll work on it. And you? Oh my God. I, thankfully I got to go last, but while I was listening to yours, I was just thinking of all these other things that I could add. So first is when someone says, let's just split the bill equally. Oh yes. But I just had an entree. The next is a group presence. So when you've been like, oh, I'm going to Jess's birthday

and like you've already planned your stuff and then someone goes oh my god well it's actually her 30th birthday so we should all go in and get her a present and then they dictate the budget yeah nightmare and then my last one I can't remember so you just don't getting it we're getting two yeah you're just getting two I was like what is this like what's my last one and it's literally just left my brain yours were really good though and I really really liked them because it's like getting a little bit more insight into the two of your brains which I really really like. So moving forward, if you guys have a question that you are dying for us to respond to, it doesn't even have to be money. It could be like something totally unhinged because like

Friday drinks is just a bit chaotic. Totally. What's your favorite cereal? It's your nighttime routine. Yeah. Like what do you want to know? Pop it in a comment section on Spotify. And I'll also link the question call out in our thread that we're going to put on our Facebook group in the show notes so that you can go straight to that as well. So just like ask all your questions because I think it'd be really fun to ask Beck and Jess and maybe even me sometimes what our thoughts on things are because I can guarantee our brunches when we catch up, they're wild because we're all so different. Yeah, that's so true. Isn't that beautiful? Yes, but also so unhinged. Sometimes I'm like, what is going on inside her head? Anyway, let's move forward. So apart from being

unhinged, we also like to stroke our own egos and still talk about our community. Would you guys like to hear a five-star review. Yes, please. All right. So I picked this one because DeLulu has been the word of my week. So from DeLulu to money queen from Perth gal, by the way, while I'm wearing this, if you're not watching it on YouTube, I'm wearing a very large tiara. Oh, go look at the videos. Surely we'll put up a TikToker and Instagram or something. Dressed as a witch. Beck is, I don't know what Beck is. Beck has just gone through the costume box. She has an axe coming out of her head. She has a princess tiara and a cape. Exactly. She's ready. And obviously that means I am something. Something good. Good. Very Halloween-esque.

Anyway, this one is from Perthgal23 and she says, I am so happy I found this. My money story was all about spending it before someone else spent it for me. I have learned to trust more of myself and that saving for a rainy day is actually so much less stressful. I listen to this religiously now and I'm always waiting for the next episode. Love the honesty, the tough love and the beautiful friendships

that shine through all of your episodes. That's so nice. That's so sweet. I love that. Me, what is going on inside her head? Them, beautiful relationships. Me, yeah, I'm so nice to my friends. I'm glad it comes through that way.

I'm sorry, but I love a five-star review and I love hearing how you guys are getting on, know how long you've been with the community. You know, earlier this year, we launched our rebrand and I had so many people messaging us being like, oh my God, V, like when I saw all those videos of your rebrand, like I couldn't believe how long I've been here for. Like I saw them and I was like, oh, I remember that. And sometimes I'm like, I wish you didn't. Oh, that's really cute. It was really, really cute. Anyway, more about our community, Miss Jessica Ritchie, community money wins. What are you bringing to the table?

All righty. First of this week, I have one from Elisa who said money win. I did my groceries through the ShopBack app this morning and got $25 in cash back. Gorgeous. Not bad. I don't know how good. I've got a bit of a theme this week. Groceries, it seems. They are pretty spooky, cost of living. Absolutely. Next, I've got a money win from Alex who said she bought six chickens for $30 a chicken and she'll never have to pay for eggs again. But now you have to pay for grain and now you have pets. I would be such a chicken girl if I got them. I think sickest chicken sounds like the perfect amount of chickens to me too. Oh my God. I am also just so farm oriented at the moment. Like, as you guys know, we've been looking for a house,

trying to work out where we want to live. And like in that I have been using realestate.com.au basically as Instagram. Like I scroll through that stuff on the daily. Love, right? Yeah. Like what if Steve, we moved to a farm and got cows and chickens? And he's just like, absolutely not. Then you know what I do? I go into the office. Jess doesn't know this yet. You're not going to care that much Beck because you don't know her, but you know, Jacqueline, one of my mortgage brokers, she's getting two Highland cows. Oh my God. I love them. She's getting and their babies at the moment. When you're in the office next, ask her for the videos because I was screaming. she's currently trying to work out what like to name them and I reminded her of my friend Chloe

Jane she's on Instagram she's a really beautiful influencer from Adelaide but she actually has two Highland cows so if you're not following her you clearly need to but she has the Moose Brothers oh cute oh my goodness for today's episode the Booze Brothers I'm gonna ask her if she can put some pumpkins around her house for me. Make them spooky. Make them spooky. Anyway, sorry, that was really, I told you that these episodes are chaos.

I'm sorry. That's okay. Can you tell I didn't take my ADHD meds this morning? Oh yeah. But we know. We get down. All right. Next, I've got a money win from Alyssa,

spelled differently, who said money win Aldi opened in her town. I've seen a lot of people talking about how much they're saving with Aldi. So I feel like that's a really good one. Next, I've got a money win from Amy who said she saw a print that she loved at Adair's. She went in to get it and it was ticketed at $129.99

when it should have been $179.99. Oh. So she got herself a hot little deal. They had to honour the price. She put in a photo. It's farm friendly. It's a horse. Yeah.

Gorgeous. Farm episode. Oh, my God. Can we just start theming the episode? I'll decorate for all of them. Yeah, and we're going to pick terrible themes. Yeah, obscure themes. Like not Halloween.

Just like farm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or loose thread. Yep. And then lastly this week, I've got a money win from Hannah who said instead of paying $6 or more for a vegan ice cream

when she was out, she bought a pack of four vegan trumpet ice creams from Coles for $9.50. That's a good deal. I don't know what a trumpet ice cream is. I think it's a brand. Yeah, okay. I am all about the WeeSpa at the moment. Really?

This week I've eaten four. Just this week alone? Just this week alone. I can eat four in one day. Please don't ask if any of them were on the same day because maybe they were a way to keep the doctor away. And Bec, do you have any broke tips? I feel like broke tips could be a little bit spooky.

They could be, and I'm going to try and make these spooky. Say them in your spookiest, spooky voice. Okay. So this one's from Emma, who may or may not be a... That sounds a bit sultry, doesn't it? It sounds a bit sexy. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know if it's going to be spooky. May or may not be our producer.

Is that scary or is that hot? So Emma, who may or may not be our producer, said that she had a dress up on Facebook Marketplace since April and had one message about it. But on the weekend, she finally had someone who messaged and bought it straight away because she was getting ready for her Christmas parties, which leads us to say, this is a reminder to go through your wardrobe for unwanted Christmas party outfits and wedding outfits because it is wedding season and make some extra cash on Marketplace. We're heading into Christmas and wedding season and Halloween season. So anything, even if you have something you're like, this is

hideous someone somewhere will need it for Halloween or Christmas or some sort of party I'm wearing a tiara right now this was a necessary purchase exactly Victoria's wearing a tiara and if you have online around you haven't been able to sell a tiara all year now is probably the all-time time I've driven far and wide to find a fluffy Santa hat if you got a fluffy Santa hat out there someone's gonna buy it anyway I still remember that from last Christmas and I was like Are you joking? I have like six. Yeah.

Oh, well, I haven't seen no hide nor hair on these fluffy Christmas hats. But I would really like one if it's a cow bite off you. Yeah, okay. All right. Well, I can bring one in for you. I just need to get my Christmas storage box open and then it's all yours. But I feel like because it's Halloween, it should be illegal to open your Christmas storage boxes yet.

But do you know what? I reckon Jess is already planning the date. The day after Halloween. Christmas tree up. Yes, yes, yes. Why am I not surprised? No, I'm so with you. Okay.

So this one comes from Ali. Ali has slid into my DMs to let me know that Farmer's Pick now has meat. You know those veggie boxes? Yeah. And so if anyone doesn't know Farmer's Pick, it's like it's similar to Fugly where it's just like all the kind of like ugly vegetables, the ugly fruits, they kind of go into a box and they get set and they're really, really good. They're great for you.

There's nothing wrong with them. They're just a little bit ugly. And so now they have meat, which might make you think like, oh, I don't know if I want to get meat from, but it's so fine. It is very good for you. I don't know where they're sourcing this meat. Maybe it's just from like cheaper butchers or something like that, but you can now get meat on there. And I feel like meat is very expensive. So it's a really good tip. Yeah. And it's probably not NQR meat, honestly. If I ran a veggie box

series and I was like selling NQR carrots, right. First things first, my chopping skills lack a lot of nuance. So by the time all the veggies are chopped, you're not going to be able to tell you'd be like that's fine totally but if I ran a veggie box company adding meat when you're already doing the order just makes sense they're probably just ordering it in bulk dinner in a box basically genius oh my god I actually might jump on this after we finish recording I feel like marley spoon is like dinner in a box though that's like even more planned like that would be my broke tip is just like use my marley spoon code and just get some free meals coming up to christmas so that you can save a little bit more yeah that's so true it's actually

crazy so i think that's fantastic do your whole christmas dinner on marley spoon i'm sorry just to jump in there you think that's funny they do that's crazy they do so i did this at easter time yeah they have their and this is not an ad this is not sponsored this is just i have been indoctrinated into the cult of marley spoon so therefore whenever we talk about food i just want to tell you about my positive experiences. So they have their like, you know, meal kits and then they have their marketplace and inside their marketplace, they do like a roast pork for six people, a broccolini side for six people, and you can mix and match your own thing. So you don't like roast pork, no worries. They've got a whole roast chicken thing that you can pick. So like I

mixed and matched and had the most seamless Easter dinner with my family over. So we had like a really beautiful pork belly. There was like these candied sweet potatoes. We had the broccolini. We had like these like roasted carrots. Everything was gorgeous. And there was a dessert. So you just add them all to basket. And I remember thinking, oh, maybe this is the lazy option, which that's why I did it. But it ended up being really economical because I was like, hold on, hold on. I looked at the pork belly and it was basically the same price for the pork belly to be sent to me as the pork belly at the supermarket at the time. But they sent the herbs, the spices, the garnish, like all of that. And it was bloody organic. I was like, this is good. I'm living.

I'm basically a genius. That's so good. I haven't seen it yet because it's obviously not Christmas time yet, but I reckon they'll do a Christmas series for us. Marley Spoon, if you're not going to and putting the pressure on here, because I would like to see that. Thank you. So stress less about the Christmas lunch and dinner because Marley Spoon maybe will have you covered. I'm going to call Marley Spoon and be like, did you know Beck wants some sponsorship money? Yeah, true. It's sounding like I'm sponsored by them. I wouldn't hate it. I wouldn't hate a little bit of money. No. So my tip this week is make your own dishwashing tablets. I saw this thing on TikTok and I'll, I can like send the link. I can put it in the show notes if you guys want,

but it's like you get an ice tray, ice cube tray. And you, I believe it is like maybe one part dishwashing liquid some toothpaste just a little dollop baking soda a little bit more dishwashing liquid a different color just to make it look a little bit more like a finished tablet but you don't have to do that you can use whatever color and you chuck it in the freezer and then you just pop it in it literally looks like I think like the toothpaste you just put a dollop and it looks like the little red circle and in a dishwashing tablet I have heard of people using toothpaste like polished things. So I would kind of believe it. Yes. I polished a lot of my silverware with toothpaste. So I think that it's doable. And so you pop that in the freezer and then you pull

them out. And like from memory, I don't have a dishwasher anymore, but it was like $70 for like a 30 pack or something. It's still expensive. So I'm like dishwashing liquid and toothpaste and baking soda. I'm like, that's so much cheaper. I don't know if it would like be really sudsy. I don't understand how that all works. I don't know how it works. It sounds like a lot of effort but can I add to that broke tip please so like dishwashing tablets astronomically expensive yes like bane of my existence why did I think I had to buy them though oh you don't actually have to buy dishwashing tablets like and you know what great broke tip if you really want your dishwashing tablets but Bec I've just stopped buying dishwashing tablets and for $3.90 at Kohl's

I buy a kilo of dishwashing powder oh and like I just pour that into the little canister and she does a good job i think it's like lemon fresh or something gorgeous perfect sorry it does the job and it's three dollars ninety for a whole damn kilo really yes it's just like powder and like it comes in like you know like the old school laundry like containers with like you screw off the top and you like pour it in i just like i don't measure it maybe i should be measuring it i just measure with my heart and i just fill up the little plastic container and chuck the lid closed. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. I still haven't run out. $3.90. That's so good. Also, don't quote me on that because it might not be $3.90, but I'm sure it is. I'm absolutely certain

it's under $4. That's so cool. Under $4. Like, why do we need dishwashing tablets? I know a great money tip, like, or broke tip if you're like, I really like having, you know, stock and just chucking them in. Money win. But like, sorry, I'm even lazier than that. And I also just, do you need a dishwashing tablet? Apparently, I don't know. That's it. Well, that's me for this week. All right. Well, let's head off on a really quick, maybe not so scary break because after the break, we're going to be having a chat about your money dilemma, which is all about whether you should be prioritizing investing when you actually have debt and something that you slid into our DMs about whether you should give back an early inheritance when your parents are now struggling.

So don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Sorry, guys. I hope that everyone listening is just leaning in because I'm having lots of fun. Yeah, lean in and don't get too scared. I'm only wearing a tiara because Jess leans in. Let's listen to this week's spooky money dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's On The Money team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hey, guys. My question today is, well, really just wanting your opinion on

whether you think you should be prioritizing paying off debt over having investments and savings. So, a bit of my backstory is that I have a considerable amount of debt a few years ago after coming out of a relationship, unfortunately. And so I've worked hard over the last few years to get that down from about $50,000 to about $15,000. And I also have a couple of credit cards. So while I'm doing well to actually get those under control now, I have actually also started looking at, and I've opened up a Sharesies account, thanks SOTM, and a Raise account. But however, there's always that nagging feeling in the back of my head that I shouldn't be putting money in these platforms, that it should all be going towards my paying off

my debt. But I feel like that's not practical for people. You know, I'm in my mid 40s now and I want to make sure that I'm giving myself the best possibility, you know, when retirement comes along. So I'd really love your opinion on this little conundrum. Thanks, guys. Love your work. That's spooky.

Oh, my God. It's incredible that she was able to get that down from $50,000 to $15,000. That's amazing. That's really, really cool. I mean, I don't know. I'm not on my meds. I'm trying real hard to bite my tongue and let you guys talk first. I think that Victoria might say to –

Wait, actually, actually. What would I say? Well, I don't know, but I'm thinking surely you could do like half-half. As long as your debt isn't climbing with interest and you're still chipping into it and you're not, yeah, I think if your debt is slowly going down and it's not gaining interest and like doubling, tripling in price over time, then both are a priority I would say.

But I don't know because I'm not a finance expert. All I want to say is congratulations because it can be very, very stressful and to overcome that and not be like it's really cool. I totally agree. That's really exciting. You've made so much progress. Well done. Yeah.

I would say run the numbers on the opportunity costs. We don't know what your interest rate is on your credit cards and they can be, I mean, they really vary. VD's probably got a better gauge on what they are than I do. But I would say run the numbers on what your credit card interest repayment looks like and how long it's going to take you to pay off. Because I think if you said, oh, I could buckle down, pay that last $15,000 off over, let's say 12, 18, 24 months versus how much you would make if you were contributing to the share market over that time using an average rate of return, say 7%, 8% roughly conservatively. I personally would probably prioritize paying down the debt. That's just my choice. I think a good happy medium is

you can turn your roundups on on your shares use. So you still have a little bit of money trickling in. You can still feel like you're contributing. You're making a bit of progress. You don't really see it going, but you're not, you know, putting bulk lump sums in rather you're putting those to your debt repayment. And then once that's done, you know, that whenever you were contributing to your debt repayment, you can then start investing. But as I said, I feel like Miss Queen over here has probably got a better idea. Is it my turn? Is it my turn? Yeah. So paying off your high interest debt is an investment in itself. Like you told me that you have debt from a relationship. No, you didn't tell me the interest rate. Jess, you are right. You should be looking at the

interest rates. Both of you said that. But if you're telling me that that is personal debt, I can't give you personal advice. But paying off your high interest debts first is going to be an investment in itself because the sooner you pay that off, the less interest you're paying. And that is such a better return than anything you can get in the share market. Because right now, over the last 30 years, the average rate of return of the Australian share market is sitting at about 9.8%. And then if you like zoom out international markets, it's about 11%, right? Sexy. But I can almost guarantee if you're telling me it's credit card or personal debt, credit card and personal debt anywhere in Australia sits between 15 and 25%. Sometimes can be astronomically more.

You're telling me that if I direct my money to my high interest debt, I'm going to get basically a 15 to 25% return by paying that off sooner. You're not getting the return in your bank account so it doesn't feel as good, but you're saving the money. You're getting out of debt sooner, which means the second you've stopped being aggressive about paying that debt off, you know where that money can go? Straight into an investment. So for me, it's about that high interest debt and making it a priority to smash it out. Would I still save during that time is a different question. I would personally make sure that I had an emergency fund because if you get up the creek without a paddle, you can rely on your emergency fund instead of going further into

debt. Yes, true. But investing right now, that investment is potentially paying off your debt as aggressively as possible. But on the flip side, you might be thinking if you're a listener, but hey, what about my mortgage? Babe, that's different again because most mortgages at the moment are sitting ideally at around or under 5%. So if we look at a 5% return versus that 9.8% or even 11%, you can see that that's like a maybe lower priority because it's a lower interest rate. So you might get better return on your money by doing a better interest rate. So the important information here is really the semantics of your debt. If you go, well, actually, V, I've got this really slay personal debt. And like, there's all these additional

nuances that I'm not sure of. And you go, well, actually my personal debt's sitting at 5%. Well, actually that might change the game again because your return on your money and the money that's coming into your bank account today could literally be working harder in the share market. But what I can guarantee to be true is if you had an 18% credit card that you are paying down and you also had a shares account that's returning you 9% per annum, your money is going to go further paying off that debt. That is just the maths of it. It's not about, oh, it would be nice. And I know you said, look, I'm in my forties and I feel like, you know, retirement's getting away from me. The best thing you can possibly do is do the numbers and go, okay, it's not really about

how I'm feeling right now. It's about the maths. What maths, maths harder so that at the end, when I'm in retirement, I actually have more money. And more often than not, you're going to find yourself having more money because you literally paid off your debt quicker and then could invest more instead of stretching that debt over a long period of time and getting screwed with the interest rate. There's something to be said for the emotional toll too, that having that debt hanging over your head can hold, especially if it's from, as you said, a previous relationship. You just want to get rid of it. I totally get it. Yeah. So sorry, that's me being aggressive. Steve, is that spooky when I get scary?

Yeah. It's getting scary. Pay off your debt. Just do it. It's like a sleep paralysis demon. You just wake up and Victoria's standing over the bed like, pay off your debt. Has me again.

I didn't mean to scare you, but that interest rate is really scary. I wish you were my sleep paralysis demon. Oh, that's so nice of you guys to think of me so kindly. Do you want to talk gossip though? Yes, please. We have a juicy DM that we got this week. are you ready for this? Absolutely. All right. Hi, team. I've got a dilemma. That's as much about family as it is about money. My parents gave my partner and I $50,000 for our first home

deposit. But I later found out that my partner already had $100,000 from an inheritance. We bought the place and that $50,000 I got is now sitting as our emergency fund. Thing is, my mum is now really unwell. My parents are retired and they're running low on cash. At the same time, they're choosing to spend more money on a holiday they're calling their last one so do I give back the fifty thousand dollars to help with bills or keep it in case something goes wrong with the house our neighbors are super dodgy and like the police are around monthly I feel torn between protecting our future and also letting them live their life what would you guys do whoa give the money back sorry I don't know that's okay that's exactly how I felt immediately okay that's what

But then I was also like, oh, okay. Like on paper, like we're removing emotions. We're removing everything except for written word on paper. And so I, in that situation, if I'm taking all emotion, everything out of it, I'm thinking like, huh, it would be a nice thing to do to give the money back, but it's not essential. You don't need to do that. And it's almost like, but I just think like as soon as they said, my mom is sick. I'm like, what? I'm throwing that money back. If I couldn't afford it, like, cause there, I feel like if someone gave me that money and I, it would be gone by now for sure. Like if I actually couldn't afford to give it back, but if it, if I still had it and other money and I wasn't like really struggling, if I was really struggling and I

still had it, I would give at least majority of it back. I'd be like, okay, I'll keep like 10K for myself because I'm also struggling over here. If everyone was like, okay with that, you know, all that stuff, I may make sure it's okay, but I would not think twice. I'm giving that money back. Yeah. I totally agree. I think that, yes, I understand that maybe the holiday thing is potentially throwing our listener. And I would say like my best sense on that is probably if you're saying your mom is really ill, it might be like an end of life. That sounds really morbid, but it might be, you know, this is my last opportunity to go away with my husband, to do the things that we always said we were going to do because now she's confronted with

her mortality. You know, it truly might be, they're saying their last holiday, their last hurrah, which is a really sad concept, but I can understand how you might look at it and go, oh, well, they're spending money on a holiday. So they can't be that down bad. But I think like, if you look at it from that perspective, you know, I really can understand it. I think, you know wanting one last great memory before whatever illness it is that she's struggling with potentially becomes a lot more difficult to manage I agree I think to me there's no question if someone I loved needed help and it was within my means to give it to them why would I not you know I understand wanting to protect yourselves and look after yourselves and as you said if you had

spent the money I think it would be a different story but knowing that it's just sitting in a bank account yes obviously it's working hard for you it's your emergency fund which we do say is very, very important. But for me, it really comes down to just such a simple thing of if I can help somebody that I love, why would I not? You know, and I think, as you said, great idea, perhaps keep a little bit of it so you don't have no emergency fund. But yeah, to me, it's quite black and white and I'm trying to look at the nuance and I'm trying to devil's advocate it. And, you know, I totally understand that you also have yourselves and your own family to think about, but they gave you that gift out of love, which they didn't have to do. And I would like to think

that love would mean that you would want to do whatever you could as well. Yeah. And I feel like there's two sides to this coin, right? Like keeping the money honors the intention that your parents gave it to you with, which is setting you up and making sure that you're financially secure. And your parents probably feel really good about that decision because they're like, Oh my God, look what we did. Like, you know, they don't know, or I don't know if I know, but like the semantics around your partner having an inheritance and the $50,000, like they really think that they helped you get into your first home. And that's really, really beautiful. On the flip side, if my parents were struggling, I would backflip.

You can have all my money. Yes. What do you need? Like, that's just who I am as a person. And that's not me going, Oh, I'm so good. It's just, I see money as something that comes and goes. And yes, I would love to still have an emergency fund, but like, to me, that's an emergency. Is it not? Like my mom's sick. Um, so like, to me, that's what an emergency fund is for on the flip side. I would love for this listener to have a think about like, well, what does an emergency fund actually look like? Cause like, holy guacamole, you are so young and 50 grand in an emergency fund. Like that's a lot. Like most people do not have access to that. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we need to go back to exactly averages because we know that the average Australian

due to Westpac data cannot access $500 in an emergency. So it's like two thirds of Australians can't access $500 in an emergency. It doesn't mean that you need to go back to that, but like $20,000 might take the pressure off, but also, sorry, zoom out. Have you spoken to your parents? Are they just stress heads? Like, and this is just me extrapolating this out. Are they stress heads around money and just like, oh my God, everything's so expensive. Like the hospital bills, the this, the that, but they actually have a nice retirement fund, but they're just a bit frugal about money. And this narrative is coming out. Have you spoken to them and you're like, oh my God, Hey, I don't know if you know this, but that money that you gave us, like,

I know that you said it was an early inheritance, but it's just sitting in that account. We really don't need, do you need it back? Like have a conversation with your parents. I can always guaranteed they'll say no but like maybe they'll be like oh actually could we borrow x amount of it like we will return it or whatever like I don't know what that narrative looks like but for me in my situation if my parents needed my last dollar well it's this like yeah and I'm not saying that that's right for everybody else because like I have friends who have terrible relationships with their parents and if their parents were like hey have you got 10 bucks they'd be like, get in the bin. Yeah. And that's totally okay too. Like that is so fine. I'm not

saying that this is a right or a wrong situation. I think it's like your family nuance. Like you've got to read into that. I can't tell you what's right. Like at the start of her dilemma, she's like, this is a family thing as much as it's a money thing. And like my family structure is different from yours, Beck. It's different from yours, Jess. Like it doesn't really matter. It's not about being a kind and generous person. It's just like, that's how my family dynamic works. yeah and so I think that's worth pointing out as well because I'm not saying you're not being generous I'm not saying you're not being kind if you kept it do you know what I mean totally yeah I don't know but we also asked the community and this is one of those ones where I'm like I'm glad

we asked the community because I need help answering this because again you said it best Jess and like I was chomping at the bit to butt in but I'm such a black and white person and it is to my own detriment like I am like right and wrong and then Beck I would say you're the best at this you're like able to live in that gray area like you're like oh well in some cases and I'm just like oh no like I just that's wrong can't do it like I'm just so down the line and that has been for a lot of my life to my own detriment because I just can't see sometimes like the nuance of a situation or accept it. And so I'm glad that we got the community's opinion because I was like, thank you for being my gray space. So we first asked, have you ever received money

like this from a parent? And I don't think anyone is going to be surprised, but 70% of you said, no, absolutely not. 28% of you said yes. And they were okay. And then 3% of you said yes. And then they struggled after. It's not just our list. No, no, no, no. And then I asked, well, what would you do in this situation? And 59% of you said, look, I'd be trying to find a middle ground. 35% said I'd be giving the 50K back. They need it. And then 6% said I'd keep it. It was a gift. Yeah. Now we then obviously went in and I said, well, give me your two cents. First person, talk to them. As Jess would say, the key is communication. Is anybody surprised? Next person said, does it have to be all or nothing? Surely you could negotiate a part.

Next person said, pay a reoccurring bill for them. Take some pressure off by paying their rental rates or body corporate for them to help out so that it could ease the pressure. It's a great middle ground. Yeah. Another person said, I think the guilt would eat you up. They probably wouldn't accept the whole amount back anyway. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Another person said, I'd offer to contribute to the holiday in a really significant way. That's a good one. Like, hey, yeah, actually, can we like make this really special for you and pay for your flights and accommodation or something?

Someone else said this, and I think this was really smart. Why is your 50K in the emergency fund, not his? Because he contributed $100,000 and then you contributed $50,000, but your $50,000 was the emergency fund instead of doing $50,000 each and then his $50,000 in the emergency fund. I'm assuming they just fully share finances. So it's like their money. Yeah. I agree. Like, like if my husband and I were gifted money from my parents, it came into our account. It would be our funds. Yeah. I see. Does that make sense? Yeah. So like,

that's the, just the assumption that I would make. Sure. Yeah. And like, even when, and I'm not saying this is just like nuance because you guys are pervy and so am I, but even when my husband and I were saving for our first home, we both were on very different incomes and salaries. By the way, it was me who was the really low income earner at that point in our life. And Steve had a significantly bigger house deposit than me. The answer was actually like, well, actually it's our money. That's fine. Like I know I've contributed more and now like the narrative has obviously shifted and I'm that breadwinner in that relationship. But like, we never really saw it as like Steve contributing, you know, for example, a hundred thousand dollars and me

contributing 50. So like maybe, yes, maybe it's really split finances. Again, money has so much nuance. The next person said, you've hopefully had a few years benefiting from that $50,000 being in an offset account, saved interest. You could give it back happily. Another person said, book a family trip together with the money and spend time with your sick mom before you're not able to anymore. Oh, I really like that idea. Yeah. Yeah. Gatecrash their holiday. Well, if they, if that's something that they would want. I think if I was like talking to my parents and they're like, you know, obviously the nuance of this conversation is different, but if my parents like, yeah, we're going to go on this big, beautiful holiday. And I'll be like, oh, we're

coming. They'd be like, no kids, no kids. Like, isn't it all inclusive if you take your dad on a holiday? Anyway, that is the commentary from the community. And I feel like that's a really good place to leave it. Unfortunately, communication is key, Jessica. That's it. And it goes back to talking to your parents about this, I think, and then even talking to your partner. Have you had those conversations about how they feel and what that looks like? Because you're right, you didn't come this far, buy a house to then go back to having absolutely no money. But what could it look like? Totally. Anyway, have a very spooky season. I'm hoping that money isn't as scary for a lot of you by this point in the year. If it is, we're still here. We're still vibing and we've got

a lot of content coming out over the next few months. Still getting there. We'll see you next week guys bye guys bye the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.