She's On The Money - Should You Push Through Burnout for Your Financial Goals? And How To Quit Without Burning Bridges

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

You’re trying to save, plan, be responsible, do the grown-up things, but underneath it you’re tired in a way that a weekend off doesn’t quite fix. If that’s you, this week we’re talking about the moments where your financial goals start clashing with your wellbeing, and how to tell when you’re pushing yourself for a dream versus pushing yourself past your limits. Plus, what does progress look like when you’re burnt out, and how do you protect the version of you you’re building all this for? Then we're diving into leaving a job without burnining bridges... and still getting a good reference. Whether things are a bit tense or fully toxic, navigating an exit in a small industry is tricky at best. So we explore the smarter ways to manage references, timing, expectations, and how to leave a workplace with your dignity and your options intact.Need the team’s take on your money dilemma? Send us a voicemail here.Or if it's more of a spicy money drama and you want the communities verdict? Slide into our DMs here.  Ready for more laughs, lessons, and unhinged money chats? Check out our oh-so-bingeable Friday Drinks playlist. Listen here. Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. we thank acknowledge and respect the aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see she's on the money podcast acknowledges culture country community and connections bringing you the tools knowledge and resources for you to thrive she's on the money she's on the money hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that makes personal finance fun especially on a friday it is our favorite day of the week because we get our incredible team

together to celebrate our incredible community and this week miss jessica richie is going to be sharing our favorite money wins miss beck syed she's going to be sharing her broke tips we're going to be helping to answer a money dilemma but you didn't expect that this week it's all about how to handle being burnt out at work and needing a break when you've got some financial goals and big responsibilities and something that you slid into my dms about how do you tell your job that you're quitting but still get a good reference out of it Ooh, tea. I don't know.

I don't know. I think you just should. But anyway. We'll touch that later. Before we get there, though, I want to share a five-star review to just set the tone. Sounds lovely. Are you ready?

This one's from Jen. Jen says, I always thought I was great with money. Until I listened to this podcast, I'm so free. It turns out I was really good at not spending money, leaving my savings to wither away in a low-interest savings account being outpaced by inflation. Since listening and learning, I now have $12,000 in shares and over $50,000 in a high-interest savings account

for my next house deposit. Did you hear that right? Next house deposit with a property portfolio worth almost a million dollars. Oh, my God. VD and the team make money so approachable. I love their inspiring attitudes and the way they make money talk accessible for women without any of the misogynistic BS. yes i've been listening since the beginning and i'm part of the fam for life guys thank you so

much for all the work you do to change the lives of so many oh that's so lovely thank you so much which is like yep i've got 12 grand in shares i'm like a slay queen sorry a property portfolio worth almost a million dollars i know that's so cool oh my god big flex queen and that's what i mean? Five-star reviews set the tone. We're now so much more excited. I'm like, yes, sorry. Look at what we've done. We're amped. We're ready. So with that, let's roll straight into the question of the week, which is our favorite part of Friday drinks, where you guys get to ask us one question you are dying to know. It can be literally about anything. And from the last few weeks, you guys are really taking that liberally. It's fun. It's fun. It's different. And I've

picked this one because i think it's perfect uh for the first week of summer which is right now and it's from our friend jamie who wants to know guys what's your favorite way to spend an hour oh beautiful that's hard that is a hard one i think it's gonna be reading for me like reading you are so cute isn't she really cute she's the most wholesome person i know i love nothing more i'm such a homebody like i love being curled up in bed with my kindle doing reading whatever the romantic flavor for the week is otherwise i think like i love exploring like when you're traveling like walking around just looking at something but i don't really know how to verbalize that i know what you mean you when you're just wandering and you're singing and you're learning

and all that sort of stuff yeah i think reading is my simple answer how about you well i think like it really depends on the weather and also am i doing am i like spending an hour by myself i'm gonna say it's by myself just to be that was my assumption too yes oh it has to be by yourself by yourself oh well that kicks out mine I'm gonna have to think of a new one yeah unfortunately spending time with my husband and maybe shut up kissing I like doing kissing yeah I like to do kisses uh honestly like and something I love to do something I do all the time is just like on a really sunny day I'm gonna assume it's a sunny day oh yeah we like we're finding the perfect hour absolutely I'm putting a giant fluffy blanket out on the floor I'm laying on top of it

I'm putting a podcast on outside or inside outside outside I'm meditating I'm tanning I'm listening to a podcast. We're not tanning. No, we're not tanning. We're not tanning is really bad for you. Yeah, true. That's true. Okay.

So what I'm doing is I'm not tanning, but I am laying in the sun. So if I'm tanning, that's okay. Okay, you're laying in the sun, but you're wearing 50 SPF. I'm wearing 50 SPF only, nothing else. And listening to a podcast, meditating. And also like I am also doing the same thing where I'm kind of like exploring in the grass. I like to eat grass. I know it's really weird, but I really like the texture of grass.

So I'm looking through the mud. I'm looking through the grass. i'm just like picking it i'm just like being one with the world one with the earth you know for a for an hour i didn't realize we could add so many things on sorry because i feel like my answer is so simple now what are you doing while you're reading i'm at the beach but like enjoying the warmth listening to the water there's no one else there me gorgeous no one else there no one else have you got a snack or a drink absolutely i've got a big water and a slurpee and like a punnet of strawberries is my grocery

I didn't know we could have drinks and food, actually. Hold on, hold on, hold on. All right, so what are you snacking on? I've got a bag of Maltesers. Yep, perfect. And a soda water. Okay, all right. Yeah, ice cold.

Now, would you guys like to add any additional layers to these hours that you're having? I'm sure something will come to you once you start talking. Yeah, you go, you go, you go. Okay, okay. You guys are actually, like, you put a lot of layers. Yeah, a lot of layers. But you're very budget friendly.

Sorry, you said dream hour. i am marching my way down to aurora spa in sorrento and i am having like i've only got an hour but i'm using that whole hour for one of their full body massages oh someone's massaging me on the beach oh yeah okay yeah actually i didn't really have masseuse i have a masseuse as well oh okay yeah yeah yeah good layers good layers but you're doing like a multi-treatment are they doing like your whole body i've only got an hour and like i'm the type of person that like in my head the massage always goes too quick so like in a perfect world stretching this out I get the 90 minute so I've got 90 minutes if you've given me an afternoon perhaps I'm also then going

into their bathhouse after I don't want to do the bathhouse first I want to do the massage first then the bathhouse because the massage gets me like all relaxed and zen and then I can sit in the bath and sit in all of the like spas and just be like that was the best massage I feel so lovely I'm having a little herbal tea after I come out. Oh, my God. You guys didn't say that there was a budget. That's true. You didn't say how are you spending an hour if you have no money to spend.

I'm assuming someone else is spending. And are we in Australia? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on a beach in the south of France. Oh, yeah, south of France. With all of the aforementioned things. I feel like that's a fun question. That was a great question.

Yeah, that's fun a lot. You guys really took that and ran with that. Did you notice none of us were investing? Oh, my God. Because that's my everyday reality. No, I'm on the grind. Exactly. We want to have a break from investing.

Miss Jessica Rucci, money wins and confessions from the community. I think we should segue over there. Absolutely. Otherwise, we are going to start building entire realities in this hour that we didn't even actually get. We really will. Well, this week I've got a money win firstly from Katie who said she had a really fun outing to her local crop swap group gathering.

Katie said she picked up a whole bunch of free plants and kit for the balcony vegetable garden that she's working on. How cute. It's a fantastic community. She's learning a lot and getting a lot of really great tangible resources. And then somebody else, Simone, replied and said, love this, we have a monthly food swap in our neighbourhood too.

Folk bring garden produce or baked treats and everyone shares and chats. Cool, that's really cute. Literally, I want to sign up for one of these. That sounds delightful. You can start one. We should. We should set another one.

Can't have a village if you're not willing to be a villager. That's true. Oh, my God. We'll workshop this. And next, I've got a money win from Marnie who said she made banana bread with bananas that would have been chucked out delightful perfect good way to make sure reduce reuse recycle absolutely next i've got a another food one with money loss from madison who spent who said she spent 15 on making a soup and then bought more stuff to try

and fix it when it wasn't good it was absolutely terrible so she said she made 15 soup for the chickens to eat and all i could think in my mind is the chickens being like we're eating good tonight. Yeah. Oh, that's so cute. And then lastly this week, I've got a money win from Rihanna who said money win. I got a promotion at my work and a $20,000 pay increase. I've applied for this role twice previously and was unsuccessful, but finally I've made it. Sick. Perseverance. Paid off. Exactly. Congratulations. That's so exciting. Your first no is your first no, not the ultimate outcome. Exactly right. Exactly. Your first no is your next yes. Unless it comes to consent, in which case no is no. Exactly. Well, that's exactly right. But if it's your boss saying no

to a pay rise, that means not right now. Not right now. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. So do you guys want to hear some Brooke tips? No, not really. Absolutely. No, I am very ready. Did you, did you liberate them from Jess this week? I may have like liberated a few that I turned into my own ideas. Okay. All right. I'm ready to hear them. So this first one comes from Devesh who says, it's a perfect reminder that basically we're entering summer festival season. And if you want to go to your Meredith's, your Golden Plains, your strawberries of the world. This is very you coded. Absolutely. Devesh, you know me so well. What you can do, and I think that we've mentioned something similar before, but I just wanted to like bring it up. Cause I just got an email about it. You can

register to be a volunteer. I don't know if you'll get approved or not, but not just volunteering. There are food trucks that go, there are other little bits and pieces. You can, I got a job literally just for the weekend in a burger truck. So I could get to, I can't remember what festival it was a few years ago, but then you, then you're just in there for free. Exactly. And you probably do got to bring some stuff, maybe see if some friends are going, you can like camp with them. but otherwise you get a free ticket and that ticket is not cheap so register to volunteer or and if you can't if you don't get accepted see who's actually going to be there like burger trucks and things like that and and try and like apply for like a casual that's really small job

and then you also make some money we love that we love making money and so that is from Devesh thank you so much Devesh and the next one comes from Robin who has a genius tip to curb spending She says that when she feels like spending, she heads to the secondhand shop, looks around and says, this all used to be money. Oh, I saw someone say this on TikTok and it really sent me for six. I've been doing that with my wardrobe recently. I didn't fully get it. So you just look at everything in your wardrobe and go, this at one point was cash in my bank and I've chosen this instead. The girl on TikTok, I think did a beauty cabinet or something, or maybe it was clothes. And she just had a pile of stuff that presumably she'd cleared out because she wasn't using it or

whatever it's just like this was money and it's like you just look at your head oh my god you know yeah true it's crazy that's such a good way to do that like we don't need 10 different moisturizers or five different yeah white t-shirts or whatever it is yeah that's so true gorgeous robin thank you and my one is it's not really a broke tip it's more of just like a tip in general i would say because right now like i know i've mentioned this already but jess's birthday she really likes expensive things. And in particular, who I've mentioned already, Carla Laidlaw, the fashion designer, what I've done is just like Google image searched every single piece that I can find and try and find those pieces on like Depop or Facebook marketplace, or even just like

things that look similar. And I'm not trying to like do like a dupe kind of situation, but honestly, if you can find a similar item of clothing and it's kind of cool, like just do that. So my tip for you is no matter what you're buying, always Google image search it because you might find a cheaper alternative. You might find it on Depop. You might find it on Facebook marketplace because all those things do show up in the Google image search as well. Jess, you sent me a dupe website yesterday. Oh yes. We were talking about it in the group chat. We put it for furniture specifically because I'm looking at furniture. I was like, this feels familiar. And then I was like, have you borrowed this from Jess? And then you hadn't. No, she actually did it. Yesterday we were talking

about couches hysterically and how expensive couches can be. And Jess was like, the couch I picked out is astronomically expensive, but I want this vibe still. And so we're having this group chat. This is what happens. We have on Slack, which is our internal work messenger. We have a group chat where everybody in the team is in it. And it's just called the water cooler. Cause we started blowing up all of like our other areas and other group chats that were meant for important things with our drivel um so that's where our drivel goes anyway i learned so much from that thread i love that thread so cool brookshed it's dupe.com great for finding furniture very similar concept to um you might have mentioned it before i'm not sure yes because what you can do also is you don't

even have to go to the website you can put dupe.com i think at the start of the url yes on a site that you're looking at like say it's ikea or something like that you put at the start and it will find a dupe for you genius yeah because i'm looking at furniture right now and the furniture budget is not budgeting. No, it's so expensive. We will be duping. Gorgeous. But also why not? Absolutely. Yeah. That's me for this week. I love that. All right. Well, what we're going to do is go to a really quick break because on the flip side, we're going to be talking about what do you do and how do you handle being burnt out at work and needing a break when you've got a whole heap of financial goals and responsibilities. And then you slid into my DMs this week. How do you tell your job

that you're quitting but then also come out the other side with a good reference so guys don't go anywhere welcome back everybody let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the money team is here to help every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hi, she's on the money. I have a money dilemma. So my partner and I are looking to buy our first house. He's just finished his qualifications and we've been

waiting until he finishes uni to be able to be in a position to finish saving and go buy a house we both live with our parents at the moment and we're so excited to get into a new house but I've gotten to the point where I'm feeling so burned out at work I really don't know if this the field that I want to be anymore and I'm thinking about retraining into a different career but then I'm also thinking should I just stick with it so that we can progress and get our house and move forward which is what I've been so excited to do and been waiting for him to do and it just feels like such bad timing and I don't know what to do. Thanks. That is rough because I feel like your like personal values and your mental health is currently being

overshadowed by your financial goals. And I just, I don't want anyone to be in that position. I just want you to have your cake and eat it too. Do we all? Or do you do Jess? I think it depends on how much of a pay cut you're going to take to move into this new industry. Because as I say, it's never too late. You can always make a change. And if you're not enjoying where you are, I think that's absolutely a great choice. Something you have to consider though, like even if you were to stick it out, like let's say you spent another year in the same

role because that pays you really well and that will allow you to buy your first house. And then once that's done, the plan is to retrain or reskill for a new field. The assumption, the sense that I'm getting from what you said is that the new field, at least for your entry level, probably will be a lower pay rate. You're still going to have to pay the same mortgage that you secured when you were on your higher pay rate. So it may not be worth sticking it out because you're going to have to learn to live on that amount of money anyway. Like, yes, your serviceability is higher because you're earning more money. Yeah. And you can get in bigger debt, but when you're in bigger debt, you've got bigger responsibilities. Correct. So I don't know, run the numbers as I always say

to see what makes sense for you. You never say run the numbers. I've never heard that in my life. Pull out your little pen and pad because I think that you might be surprised. And if that's the case, I would say, well, then it's probably not worth putting your mental health further at risk to put yourself in a position where you then may not even be able to contribute or service the loan that you were able to secure because you put yourself through the real hard slog to get there. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That is so true. I would say the same thing. I don't think I'll ever,

unless there are like maybe children involved or like the risks are really, really high, not to say that the risks aren't high here, but I'm saying like, it's a goal that you want to achieve. It's not something that you would lose. Like you're not going to like completely lose the opportunity to reach that goal. It's optional. Like you don't have to do it. You don't have to do it. And so it's like, you could do it later or you could do it. It could take a little bit longer than you expected. But what I'm saying is mental health first, always and forever, no matter what that looks like. So I would just say, do what you got to do and do what makes you happy. And if, and honestly, I tell people this too, and I know it's

not very responsible, but if right now you went into work, you put in your resignation and then you started looking for jobs, whether they were like cafe jobs or whatever, whatever job you can get just to tie you over, would that make you feel immediately happier? If so, do it. I don't care. Do it. And so put your mental health first. I like the idea of putting your mental health first. I also feel like you feel like there's a lot of responsibility. If I like reverse this role, if my husband came to me and said, I'm so burnt out, I wouldn't want to be still pushing him to achieve our financial goals ASAP. I'd be like, well, can we change the timeline on this? You're clearly not happy in your career. You want to change this and that. Let's do it when we have

a bit more financial freedom and like the budget that will allow that. Because it's a different story once life happens. Once you have a mortgage, once you have kids, once you've got more responsibilities, you don't have the freedom and the flexibility that you might be afforded right now. And I'm telling you right now, your money goals mean literally nothing if by the time you achieve them, you can't enjoy them. Absolutely. Like is getting the house then going to be even more of a stress because then you're like, I'm really never going to become a nurse. Like, and maybe that's the thing you really wanted to do because I can't take a pay cut and I can't do this and I can't do that. And now I feel really restricted. And maybe you'll become resentful of

the goals that you've achieved together. That's not the life I want you to live. That's not who I want you to become. So I think sitting down and talking with your partner about how burnt out you are is probably the first step because they might be really logical about it. And they go, oh my god Jess what are we doing trying to buy a house by the end of the year then that's so silly of us but also I don't know how much you earn so are there different roles you could do that are kind of in the middle that would allow you to study and still earn a similar income like have you done your budget such that you know what your contributions to the mortgage would be and how you could still provide during that time because maybe the reason that you are saying I really want

to stick this job out because it's high paying is you want to get the deposit, but then you're like, oh, but we've already done all the maths and the repayments, my partner could afford on his salary. Then that's a different story again than, you know, putting your head down for the next three months and going, yeah, your mental health is really important, but like, let's get this goal ticked off and then you can literally quit. I don't know what that looks like. So I think you need to look into it a little bit more, but I feel like that's a really important one because we should be taking our mental health seriously. But you're not going to be surprised, Jess,

for you to come back down to communication. Well, exactly. Crazy, crazy. But that's literally it. Like talk with your partner because as much as asking us is very, hopefully helpful, I need you to work out what that actually logically means and pragmatically means.

It means for your budget. Yeah. And I hope you feel better soon. I'm sorry that you're feeling burnt out. That's a really hard place to find yourself. Yeah. So we're sending lots of love and maybe check your annual leave

and see if you could take a mini break instead of just like quitting your job and changing. Yeah, or sick leave as mental health leave. A thousand percent. Still valid. Still valid. Go to the doctor. Say, I need mental health leave.

Can you give me a sick certificate? They will. Yeah. Promise. Make it for many days as well. Exactly. All right. Do you want to slide into my DMs

and see what people have been messaging me this week? Oh, I'd love to. All right. So I got this one and I've picked it out to go on the show because I'm like, oh, spicy. Hi, I have a little bit of a life dilemma. My workplace is toxic and I plan on leaving next year after our busy period to move in with my long-distance boyfriend.

Isn't that cute? Should I tell my toxic boss now or do I only give the required one-month notice? I'm worried if I start applying for jobs, they'll find out because it's a pretty small industry. But I'm also worried that they will take my extended notice pretty badly. As this is my full-time job in my career post-uni, I would love to use them as a reference, but obviously can't until I tell them.

Honestly, if I could leave tomorrow, I would, but I don't want to let my team down as we are entering the busiest time of the year. I'm talking heaps of unpaid overtime at the moment. I'd love to know what you guys think. What do you do, Bec? I think, I guess, yeah, the tricky thing is because it's quite like a small industry and like they might find out that is a bit shit. I remember one time I applied for a job and I hadn't even got the interview. They haven't even called me yet, but they had called my boss at the time for a reference and they asked me if I was applying for jobs. That should be illegal. i know i and i'm sure that is so disrespectful it was so like i didn't even know who called her

i was just i was and i was so scared of her too she was a very scary boss but i just remember being like so inappropriate it was crazy so it's like i can totally understand the anxiety about like not wanting to like apply yet as an employer i would never i know oh my god that's made me so angry on your behalf oh my god thank you literally like thank you okay i've had people apply for jobs that she's on the money that I know through either other money podcasts or our community or other financial advice businesses and like I know and then I feel slightly awkward because I know their boss but I'd never tell their boss unless I was planning on offering them a role at which point I'd be like Jess I'm thinking of offering your role can I call up my mate

xyz and have a chat about you I would get your consent totally and you might go oh they probably not yet because I'd love to tell him that I'm planning on leaving first or whatever like that's not my place yeah oh my god that's so true okay so I can understand the anxiety around that I think that I would because maybe they ask your your references later or maybe it's on your resume or something but I would not be using the most toxic people in the workplace and I know that like people like to call the boss they like to call people that are managing you but I would try and like I sometimes use personal references um even if they're colleagues that I work alongside side because personally I would I would take the advice from someone who is working with you every

single day where they're not necessarily managing you but they know you better than your boss does who sees you probably once a month for a whip you know in a meeting and doesn't know your personality doesn't know anything about you doesn't know what you do day to day I would much more likely take the advice of someone who works with you so and not that that's the case for everyone but I would be trying to like find people in the office find people you work with that you trust, that maybe one is a personal reference, someone you work with, and maybe someone's a little bit higher up. They might not even necessarily need to be directly above you or directly managing you, but just some people that you have as allies, as people who will

advocate for you. And then I would probably, I would tell your workplace when it's time to start looking, when you're starting to get stressed about needing to find a job, that's the point where I would tell them. But I would find some allies first ahead of the curb and not put your boss your toxic boss down as a reference if that's allowed what are you doing yeah I agree I think that reminding your reference doesn't have to be your your direct manager it could be someone higher than them it could be someone that you've worked with on a project it could be you know you can you get to pick and choose your references it can be whoever you want them to be also you don't have to list your references on your cv so my cv it says reference available upon request

and that is that's a thousand percent what I would recommend to everybody it means that you avoid that situation of someone being called without your knowledge. Yes. Also, sorry, I would absolutely be a reference if you turned around and said, I would like to move on from She's on the Money. Fantastic. But would it be okay if you don't put my name and my personal number and all my information on your resume that you may be going to spam across the internet? Would that be okay? I'm happy to be your reference if they ask you for a reference, but like, I don't particularly want my mobile number being just sent to random hiring managers. That's weird. Yeah. I think how soon you tell them comes down to where the person you have to tell your manager or HR, whoever it

is, where they sit in the scheme of the toxicity. Because in your message, you've told us that you're doing a lot of overtime and those sorts of things, which may mean that maybe you have a good relationship with your manager. Yep. In which case I'm of the opinion, I think you're doing a great thing by working through the busy period. That's very considerate. Where you can give advance notice. I think it is really helpful because obviously it allows your team, your managers who are to prepare. At the same time, I know that we've said before, you don't owe anybody anything. You only are required to give your minimum notice period as outlined in, you know, whatever your contract is or your EDA or whatever that looks like for you. If you have a good

relationship and you want to look after them, which I kind of get the sense that you do because you're working through the busy period, I'd say it's probably better to say sooner than later if you don't think that that's going to bite you in the ass. Like if you're going to give them advance notice and you go, oh, the people in my team are going to make my life hell because they are like well you're leaving and we don't like you then keep it to your chest until you have to tell them it's really hard to say without knowing exactly what your relationships are like within that environment and ultimately I just want you to feel protected and safe and looked after and the last thing I would say is that leaving a workplace doesn't have to be a

negative thing like exactly what you were saying I would hope that you can hand in your resignation and say I want to move on to something different I want to try something new whatever it is that you want to say and the people around you will go oh my goodness thank you for everything that you've done for us like I'm so excited for your next step yeah like I know that that's not always the case that's very much a dream world not everyone's that lucky but hopefully that can be the outcome for you yeah and I've got my fingers crossed that that could be it but we know that's not the reality I mean in our business I hope that's the experience everyone who has quit has had because I'm just grateful like I'm just grateful that you've been here and that you

invested into my business and your time and your energy. And on the flip side, I'm also acutely aware I'm maybe in a different position, but I'm a small business. I know that caps exist inside my business in terms of professional development, in terms of being able to carve out your dream roles. Like don't get me wrong. I try so hard to push as much as possible, but there's going to be a cap. Like I'm not a 50 person organization where I can be like, oh yeah, Jess, one day you'll be a massive manager and have 10 people under you if she turned around and said that was one of her goals I'd be like I love that you want to do that I don't even have 10 employees and she's on the money you know where are the people yeah like where are the people um I don't know

who you're managing but like I would love to have everybody be able to have those open conversations with their team but I also have seen too many toxic things happen and so my advice would be holding your cards close to your chest I know you're moving in and you'd love to move in with your long distance boyfriend, let's pretend it's six months from now. I can't tell you what's going to happen in six months. I don't think that your boss needs six months of heads up for that. You're probably, you know, looking for jobs and whatnot. And that's fantastic. But I would think if you were able to give them a little bit more notice than the month, fantastic. Maybe you could give them six weeks and be like, Hey, I'm going to give you six weeks notice. If they're not very

kind people, they might be really rude and walk you on the day that you resign. They still have to pay you though if they do that. They do have to pay you, but they might not want you there and might go, oh, thanks for the six weeks notice, Jess. Actually, we're just going to fall back on that four and only pay you for four in lieu of notice. And then you're worse off again. So I think it's also in delivery. So it's not about the fact that you're quitting. I think it's about what you do in those four weeks after you have quit. Are you supporting the team still, or are you completely mentally checked out? Are you sitting down and going, all right, well, Jess, I'm leaving how can I best support you here's my handover list here's all of the contacts I am

setting you up for the greatest amount of success so that my absence isn't detrimental to the business you're asking your boss what you can do how you can support you during that period I think is the most constructive thing that you can do and that's what's going to lead to a good reference but as someone who also hires people I have never asked for nor would I ever expect a reference from your current organization. Big one. Yeah. Never. Like I would, I'd love the pervy deeds, but like, sorry, I'm assuming your boss doesn't know that you're leaving. Yeah. And there's probably a good reason as to why you're leaving. And in your interview, I'm going to be asking, I'm going to be like, Hey, so what's making you want to move on from this business?

And I can get a gauge. And like, that's another, like, maybe we need to do more career podcasts or something on how to interview what that looks like. We've done some before, but I just, I think that there's so many questions around this at the moment that I just go for me it's not that you're quitting it's how you handle yourself after you quit and quitting in a really respectful way not going hey don't get me wrong they're toxic but not going hey I'm so glad I get to hand you this letter you're toxic af yeah yeah but just going hey like another opportunity has come up you also have to think about and this is awful but you have to think about whether you want to share with them why you're quitting like are you just going hey I feel like I've served my

time here and I've gotten so much out of it. Thank you so much. And I've been presented with another opportunity. Or are you sharing with them, hey, I want to move in with my long distance boyfriend. And then they're talking smack behind closed doors about, oh my God, can you believe that Jess is quitting this job, which we think is incredible for a boy. Like I don't know them. I'm just always a bit more conservative, but it's always about approaching literally everything you do with the utmost respect and leaving it better than it was when you entered. And if you do that, I can't see why you wouldn't get a good reference. Absolutely. So what did everyone else say? Oh my God, they had so much tea. So first things first, I asked them some questions. First question,

what will you do if you were our community member? 42% said, just give the required notice. 35% said, I'd lock in a new job and then I would quit. 14% said, do not wait until the busy season is over to leave. And 8% said, I'd give more than a month's notice. Then I asked, how would you balance leaving a job and getting a reference. 61% said, find a trusted reference alternative. 16% said, be honest with your plans early. 14% said, give one month and just hope for the best. And 8% said, leave them off your reference list. Yeah. Which I think is fair. All right. So then I said, what's your two cents? First person said, don't shoot yourself in the foot by being a nice person for a toxic workplace. I mean, that is also so true. Absolutely. Another person said,

new employers always understand that you can't use a current employer as a reference. Yes. Next person said, I tried to give one month's notice and I had two weeks required and they just let me go after three days. I hope they paid you out your notice period. They absolutely should have paid you out your notice period. They legally required to, so if they didn't hit them up. A hundred percent, but it's also in some instances. So I used to work in consulting and on the day that I resigned from that job, they told me not to come back. And it wasn't because I had a bad experience or everything was negative. I really liked that team. And I was aware that was probably what's going to happen because that had happened to everybody else in

the business. But it was because I was going to have direct communication with clients and still be working on highly confidential stuff and like perpetuating projects that essentially would need me if I kept working on them. And they were just like, that's great V, like we're obviously going to pay you out your notice, but like you're basically on gardening leave, like go home at the end of today. And that's it. Like, you know, we'll call or text you over the next two weeks. Cause as much as like you're on leave and you're being quite let go today, like if we've got any questions over the next two weeks, we're well within our rights to call you. Cause you're technically still being paid and we'll ask any of those questions, but you are going to leave your

laptop, your keys, your like swipe pass everything at the end of today. And that's just how we roll. And it wasn't me being walked because I was in trouble, but that was definitely the culture. And I knew to anticipate that, but that's something you've got to expect. Like sometimes also not in that circumstance, but ego comes into it. People don't like being quote rejected. And just because they're a manager doesn't make them mature. So they might go, oh, Jess, get her out, get her out. Just tell her to leave now. I don't even want to see her face in the office. People are like that. They are horrific. That is crazy. Next person said, you sound like a team player. Surely there's someone, even if it's not your boss, who will be a reference just

like Dexit. So true. I'll just do one last one because I think it hits the nail on the head. Someone said, as someone that works in HR right now, get the job and then resign only once you have and have signed the new contract. Oh, I completely agree with that. Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. So we'll leave it there. But, my friends, I feel like that was a fun conversation. Yeah. I'm getting really heated in the last few weeks about, like, my responses.

I'll try to calm it down. But, like, your girl's got an opinion. But I'll see you bright and early on Monday morning for a Money Diary. But until then, have the best weekend. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature

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