She's On The Money - Superyachts, Sports Cars, and a Secret She Couldn’t Tell Anyone

Episode Date: April 6, 2025

This week, Victoria sits down with a diarist whose story starts like a dream: swept off her feet, love-bombed, and suddenly living a life of superyachts, luxury cars, and first-class everything. But beneath the shine was something far more complex... and much harder to escape. In this deeply moving episode, she shares her experience with financial abuse, coercive control, and the moment she realised she had to leave, baby in arms, without a cent to her name. Her bravery, honesty, and financial comeback are nothing short of extraordinary, and this conversation is one every woman should hear. CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussions of domestic and financial abuse. If that’s triggering topic or not right for you, we encourage you to skip this one and take care of yourself. If you or someone you know needs support, please call 1800RESPECT/1800 737 732.FREEBIE: Make Mother’s Day extra meaningful in just a few minutes. Head to moonpig.com.au and use MUMSOTM at checkout for a free card. Because every mum deserves a Moonpig card. T&Cs apply.Ready to binge more relatable, inspiring, and downright juicy money stories? Check out our ultimate Money Diaries playlist. Listen now Join our Facebook Group AKA the ultimate support network for money advice and inspiration. Ask questions, share tips, and celebrate your wins with a like-minded crew of 300,000+. And follow us on Instagram for Q&As, bite-sized tips, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money habits educational purposes of course welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries, where I get the absolute privilege of talking to one of our incredible She's on the Money community members all about their journey. Before I read out today's email, I actually just want to jump in here and give a content warning. So today we are going to be discussing domestic violence. We are going to be talking about financial abuse. And if that's not for you, and you aren't in the mood for hearing that, or it is a story that is one that you just don't really want to hear right now, jump off. We have more than 700 other episodes you can listen to.

But if you're still sticking around, let's get into it. This week, I got a very powerful message and it sounded like this. Dear She's On The Money, I grew up in a working class family. Mum raised two kids on her own and my dad didn't pay child support, so she busted her balls working three jobs. I've seen her lose money due to relationship breakdowns. One boyfriend burnt our house down when I was in grade four, which left us with nothing. I've always been sensible with money, but normal. Then I married into a very wealthy family, super yachts rich. My husband didn't want me to work and I followed him and his career and I got sucked in by all the shiny things. After I sold my only asset, my home, I discovered over time he was conning people for

money. We lived a very lavish life, but other people were paying for it. I had no control, understanding or access to money during our marriage. I had to ask for money for petrol. We didn't even have a joint account. One day when he was away for work, I left my Porsche keys on the coffee table and fled interstate with our six-month-old baby with no access to money. My story has been a wild ride and I am now obsessed with getting back in front financially. I would love to be brave and share the story. Money Diarist, what a privilege that you want to share it with me. Thank you so much. That sounds so strange to hear that being read back to me. It's weird when it's vocalized, isn't it? Everyone says that. They're always like,

oh my God, like I'm pretty cool, aren't I? It's true though. I am so excited to ask so many pervy questions about this. But before we get there, Money Diarist, what grade would you give your money habits from A through to F? I'm going to say a C. A C. All right. Well, now we get to learn more about that. Money Diarist, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story? I can. So, I grew up in a very normal working class situation. I was definitely fed the message to put your head down, bum up, work, buy a house as the first thing that you do and then live your life and that was your main asset. It was very, I guess, very standard, nothing too

adventurous, but safe. That's the message that I got and I saw my mum do. And yeah, I think I was on track for that. And I fell into a situation where I got dazzled by someone who I thought was smarter than me with money someone who I thought was way in front of me with money and I got really impressed by that of course like I would be too even if like I'm friends with someone who's doing well like it's not just about them having lots of money usually if you have lots of money you probably have a business or you're like really tenacious or like really confident like it's not it's not just like oh they have money how attractive it's like all of the other stuff that comes along with it that's not just the stuff it's like the personality traits right

oh that is exactly right I got impressed with the confidence the vision all of that we all want that though like you will impress me if you've got vision you've got confidence I'm like I'm on this journey with you baby like we aren't even getting married I just want to be a friend like yeah that's right and I'd seen my mum struggle like really struggle I mean I remember coming home from school every night on my own you know having to do like prep dinner we didn't do lavish holidays you know my mum just made ends meet basically and like I said in my intro I saw my mum lose a lot of money and everything when our house burnt down and having to start from scratch I'm talking wearing hand-me-down clothes to school and everything. That is a piece of the puzzle that

I think we have glossed over here. Your house got burnt down by your mum's, at the time, boyfriend? Yes. So she'd ended the relationship and here he was very jealous and controlling and we went away for a weekend and we weren't gone 24 hours and our house was burnt to the ground. Deliberately Yeah. So I think, yes, the history there of like the financial ups and downs is really strong for me. And also that kind of power and control dynamic going on. Yeah. So that's something that I've had to really face and kind of live with and kind of hopefully overcome. Yeah. But that was rough. Because that's trauma. Like that's not just rough. That's serious trauma. Is your mom okay now?

My mom is. Yeah. With that background, I said it was very sensible. You know, we didn't live outside our means or buy something if we couldn't afford it. That was always the message that I got. So mom didn't go out and buy a brand new couch when our house got rebuilt. She waited. So we didn't have a couch for a year. You know what I mean? So we had hand-me-downs. And so when we got that couch after a year it was like the best thing ever so I've taken those things into my life where we don't you know I don't live outside my means and you know I say for things or I say no if I can't if it's not going to work for me financially to go away that weekend or yeah totally so you've grown up like most of us and then how old were you you met what you thought

was the man of your dreams but how did that eventuate honestly like I know this didn't work out for you, but how do we meet someone who's super yacht rich? How do we do that? Because like you're asking for a friend. Yeah, that's a point of contentious issue with myself and my best friend because she introduced us. Oh, the audacity. She didn't know. Honestly, if I had a super yacht rich friend and then my friend was single, I'd be like, guys, I have a match for you. Yeah. Yeah. She thought she was doing a great thing. And honestly, I just went head over heels. I was swept off my feet. That was the full fairy tale scenario. So I had just recently come out of a relationship of six or

seven years and I was grieving that and it wasn't a bad breakup or anything. We just had to come to the end of our time. And I was in my mid thirties and I just knew it wasn't the guy that I was going to get married to and have children with. So we ended it. And then it wasn't only six months later that this other person came into my life. And, you know, I was still grieving and feeling that loneliness that you feel post-breakup and questioning your life and what's going to happen and I'm not going to have children and all this. I'm going to be single forever. Yeah. I literally thought I'm going to be single forever. And then I met this guy and it was like lavishness from the start, you know, dinners, flying here, flying there.

So you got completely love bombed. Oh, yeah. Who doesn't like having huge bouquets of flowers, you know, turning up at their office? I'm not going to lie. Like, I get that. Like, I'm just a girl at the end of the day. Like, that sounds fun. Like, I wish I'd been more adventurous in my dating years, you know? And I think I saw my mom go through such a struggle and I became, you know, so hyper independent. You know, I just built my own house. Like, I was so independent that I think for there was the time I went oh my god I don't have to be here's someone saying you don't have to work you don't have to do this you can have whatever and I went oh my god what that was almost like a relief

I went wow you know maybe this is so nice yeah yeah yeah so but what I didn't do was really evaluate the situation and kind of see those red you had your rose tinted glasses on and when you see red flags through rose tinted glasses, they look pink. Oh yeah. So the red flags are, you know, and I will say this to anyone that's listening, the red flags are there from the start. Yeah, but we don't want to look at them and like, oh, like red flags are so easy to look past when you get a really big bunch of flowers. You're like, oh, clearly he didn't mean that. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm not endorsing that because we don't want that to happen, right? Like you're sharing your story, obviously for a number of reasons, but one of them would be because you don't want

this to happen to somebody else. But I also don't want people to feel shamed that they went through it. Like, and I'm sure that you went through that period of time and you'd be like, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Like these red flags were here the whole time. No, like we're innately emotional human beings. We can, we can maybe look past a red flag if it feels good. Absolutely. Oh, I still feel like, how, how, how did I not, you know, act on that? Or how did I, how did I let that go? I mean, I would never again, but yes.

I mean, I'd also come out of a relationship with a really nice person. So you just don't expect it. Yeah, I didn't expect it. But it's amazing how quickly I lost my footing. You know, within six months, I wasn't working. Like I'm the person that's always had two jobs and all the things. But next minute, I was overseas following his business ventures and I wasn't working. And it is insane how if you don't have money coming in of your own, how quickly that starts

to destabilize you and make you feel wobbly. And the power dynamic shifts almost instantly. And even though I was reassured by him that this was going to be like an easy thing and he's going to look after me and I didn't have anything to worry about, et cetera, et cetera, that I was instantly changed. Yeah, wow. Yeah, I'd flown across the world and had committed to going overseas for this year period, which ended up being two years and I didn't work. And so I found myself feeling very much the power dynamic, me being at the bottom and him being at the top. And it wasn't a good situation because I didn't get an idea of money with us. I didn't know where

money was coming in from, I didn't have any clue as to the financial situation. I was given a little bit of money every day and I'd go out and buy the groceries and, you know, do my thing. And I just, yeah, that was the beginning of being incredibly disempowered around money and falling into a situation where my self-esteem got really affected by it and it just continued then. Yeah. Wow. So you met this guy, he swept you off your feet, literally and figuratively. You're not working six months in. Like, honestly, this could have worked out so well if he wasn't who he was and he wasn't, like, it could have been a dream life. Like, and that's exactly what you were anticipating. Someone once said to me that the reason you didn't see the red flags was because

you would never operate in the same way. So you didn't know what you were looking for. You just saw it. And if you had bought a really big bouquet of flowers for somebody, it would have been from a place of love. And you would have assumed that that's what everybody does, right? Like if you want to buy me flowers, it would be coming from a great place because if it was reciprocal, that's how I would have meant it. So you're not thinking about honestly the strategy and the thought process and what love bombing is because you're just like, oh that's so nice like I wish I'd thought of that like and I think that that's something you need to remember because so many people in situations like this they blame themselves and it's like

don't blame yourself in fact reward yourself because you're such a good person that that wouldn't have even been a part of your thought process to do something like that and that's why it swept you off your feet like that's why it was so easy for them to do to you I know talk about sitting dark. I mean, if I owed someone $50 and forgot to pay, I'd feel really bad about that, you know? And I, like I said, I'd always lived in my means. So, I didn't know, didn't have experience with people living outside of their means to such an extent either. So, or, you know, being murky around money because my family was very just straightforward. Yeah. So, then when we came back. So, you've been away for two years, you came back and then did you get

married? Yes. Great. Got married, had the $200,000 wedding. Jeez Louise. What's a $200,000 wedding buy you? Lots of stuff? No, but this is how extreme it was. So my wedding dress, you would think for a $200,000 wedding would be what? Like a lot. I think it was $250. Excuse me? I didn't have money to buy a wedding dress. I didn't. Wait, what? That wasn't part of, how do you have a $200,000 wedding and then the bride doesn't have access to cash? I know. I know. I can't, like, I'm saying it now and I go, how? I didn't have an FPOS card that had money on it. I didn't. And like, that makes sense. But like, how was this guy that you married paying for stuff? And did you ever say, oh, can I have money for a wedding dress? Or is that in budget? Like, how do these

conversations eventually. I'm just being pervy. I wouldn't be allowed to ask this if it was just two friends at brunch, but like we're on a money podcast, I'm meant to ask this. I want to share this because I think money plays such a big part in women's health and sense of safety and sense of everything, security options. And I think by the time I got back from overseas I was so wobbly and I didn't have that income for the last two years and yeah so I felt like I couldn't ask him anything about money because I would be dismissed or made to feel that I wouldn't get it you know or like I think I was called simple-minded a few times just like constantly put down so that I you know as if I wouldn't get the big vision or I wouldn't get

the picture because that's not my background and so I think my self-esteem was so low that I felt like I couldn't ask for those things so I didn't I just kind of plotted along on my own doing my own thing and as a result this gigantic lavish wedding like I went and bought a $250 dress which looked pretty cool actually but you're like I still have style come on but I remember borrowing like I remember my brother paying for like a flower for my hair and yeah it was really really confronting but everyone at that wedding thought that I had the most amazing life and that this was all like you know no one knew I didn't tell anyone this stuff I was so ashamed yeah and like that makes sense so you've married this guy will we on a honeymoon like what did we do what do you do

after a $200,000 wedding? We didn't do a honeymoon at that point. I think we had just built a house in a very, I guess you would say blue chip area. And then, so we moved into that and we hadn't even been in that for a few weeks when said person came home and said, I've sold the house and all the furniture in it.

So you need to move out. So like this house that was physically built was then sold. Like I didn't have any decision. I was not involved in one decision to do with money in our relationship. never once. Was there any conversation about why he'd sold the house and all your furniture? No, no. So there's just so much murkiness. So then next minute we moved out of that.

That would have actually spiraled me because like I would have felt so insecure and so untrusted. And so like, you know, my feelings aren't being considered, but I'm assuming after having that for a few years, you don't even feel like you can vocalize that. And you probably haven't even thought, oh, I'm being disrespected here. You're just like, oh my God, I'm so dumb. Why don't I understand this? So what did you do? Where did you move? I was crippled with shame over it and I've faked it to everybody. You were like, yeah, we're moving. Yay. Yeah. I was driving this luxury car. But the ironic thing was he would work away a lot. So when he worked away, I'd be scrambling trying to live off $40 a day. And then when he'd come home, we'd be at the best restaurants.

and buying the most expensive wine like that I had like two lives the idea that this man didn't even just give you a credit card like what I had no credit card no no I had a card that had his name on it that I would have to ask on a daily basis to top up and I'd be like get a hundred dollars or fifty dollars or whatever so yeah I'd be at the petrol station not knowing whether I could put money in my car because it would bounce and I'd have to call and say can you put money on the car like it was horrible it's financial control like that is domestic yeah violence like at the end of the day, that is abuse. Was that his intention? Like, obviously, like, you know, I'm not trying to see the good in this because like you and I both know exactly what

this is. This is domestic violence. But do you think at the time he thought, right, we're like on a strict budget, this is what we're doing? Or was it coercive control? It was coercive control because I was never allowed to bring it up or have a conversation about it. So I think if there was a conversation where he went, you know what, we're actually, you know, we're in the shit here. I've overcommitted with this job and this and rah, rah. And can we try and live off? Oh yeah. Like we're a couple. We're in this together. Yeah. Can we do X, Y, Z this next couple of months and blah, blah, blah. But it was so, like his lifestyle versus my lifestyle were wildly different. You know, sometimes I think,

why didn't I just go and get a job? But there were times when I had a job opportunity and, you know, but he didn't want me to work because- But then you get your power back and we don't want that. If I wasn't working then, I was flexible to fit in with his kind of chaotic lifestyle. As soon as I was grounded in a place of work, then it was never going to suit that situation. Wow. Yeah. So, but the wheels were falling off for me mentally and my friends and family were picking

up on it a little bit or quite a lot. Yeah. So, there was some icing on the cake. We had a tradie vandalize our house because he didn't get paid. I had people ringing me for the money that was owed. when we were like having a luxury holiday, you know, I had people pull me up on the street saying that, you know, all these business things that were supposedly happening weren't actually real and they were asking me about it. And I was going, oh my God, this is, that's not even true.

So I knew that. And like, you're here going, I probably should be backing my husband, but what the heck is going on? Like, and you're probably starting to question him, but then not feeling like you can question him. Like that would have been an awful position to be and I'm so sorry yeah it was pretty bad and then yeah so I decided after I saw a bunch of emails that on a you know a job he was doing that he was you know blatantly lying I thought I have to go if this person won't have a conversation with me and won't is actually actively deceiving people then it's giving Hamish McLaren like that guy who was a scammer who pretended to be really rich and was like borrowing from Paul to give to Bob like yeah that's it moving money yeah moving

money around spending some of it along the way hoping people don't follow up like it just it's a whole thing and I can be really you know if someone says oh don't forget you owe me $50 you go oh yeah oh I'll just transfer it right now but he could sustain those phone calls and messages and emails for god know until the person just can't be bothered anymore that's what I saw happening as well so yeah so I thought I have to go we had another property and it was just I had no control over any of it so in the end I was like I can't believe what I've done here in getting into this situation so I left and my friends paid for my flight and my transport for a few goods down to another state so I came back to my mum's place like winding back a hot second like you had

a baby during this. You had a six-month-old and I'm assuming, like for me, I'm a mum, I'm a new mum, like I have a one-year-old now. I feel like you just start taking life a lot more seriously because you're like, they're reliant on me. And I'm assuming that was the push come to shove. Am I correct? That's exactly it. I had a little girl. I remember holding her and thinking, oh my God, I cannot let her have this as her front row seats to a relationship. no yeah and then someone said to me now is your time because you have just given birth you've had a really great birth and you are in your power woman yeah I love that you got that yeah so now is your time and I was like you are so right let's go I remember my maternal health nurse even told

me to and at that point you're like oh this is pretty serious your maternal health nurse is telling you to leave. She actually said, I'm not allowed to say this. This is against my like job description. But she said, but you need to leave. Yeah. What an angel though, because she wasn't meant to say that, but she knew what was in your best interests. Yeah. Yeah. She said, nothing's going to change. You need to leave. So I got up and I left and yeah, and I went to my mom's and it was pretty awful. I'm not going to lie. So you had to make a plan because you said one day he was away for work and so did you like plan in the back of your mind or with your friends go all right well he's going away for work on this date and on that date I'm going to xyz he always went

away for work so I knew yeah so it's really horrible it's actually a really horrible story so I started packing like a box at a time and just putting it in a cupboard and yeah started like going through my stuff and thinking about what I needed and my friend paid for my flight that's right she booked it and then yeah I had another friend who lived close by who came and got me on the day and I couldn't even have a normal conversation with him so yeah so I left and I went to my mom's and that's when I said I'm not coming back he was really really angry and I didn't realize it at the time because I didn't really think far ahead enough other than I don't have any money I have nowhere to go I have to go to my mom's place like what else do you do I've

got a baby and I remember like I think now that was the best decision I ever made even though I didn't know I didn't foresee it as being the best decision if that makes sense like putting that distance there yeah a hundred percent and like I absolutely think you did the right thing but that is such a hard decision to make to back up your life and just leave like don't get me wrong you're right you couldn't have spoken to him but like you took the power away from a narcissist and when you do that, you don't know how they're going to react. And yes, he would have been very angry, but who knows what he would have been like in person. The behavior afterwards was much worse, I'm going to say, for years. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So I stayed with my mom and had this baby. She was

really good. I didn't have to work for a little bit. And after six months or so, I started doing some part-time work with a friend who just started this business. And she said, come on. She took me under her wing and that was really. It sounds like you're surrounded by so many beautiful people and in these situations like the person who you're in a relationship often creates space between you and the people that you love so that you don't have anybody to reach out to so that you do feel ashamed and you don't want to share your journey and I'm just so grateful that you still had those people around like the fact that you had friends that were like no money Darius we're going to pay your flights. We're going to get you back to your mom's. Like some people in these situations,

just they don't have anybody who's able to back them anymore because they've burnt those bridges because the person they were with purposefully did that to them. Like insane. Well, yeah. So I was interstate from all my people. So it's only because I remained in contact with them, but I will say that that's, I did have family members and relationships that got burnt because of that exact thing. So yeah, that was really awful. I've over the years had to go back to those family members and rebuild those relationships. And so that was pretty awful. But yeah, so after about a year, so I still had no access to money, right? Because there was no like, I didn't have a marital account or anything. No, absolutely. And you didn't keep the car.

You just put your Porsche keys on the coffee table and walked out. Like, was that because the car was in his name? Yeah, everything. I didn't know. I wouldn't have even known how that was paid for. So I wasn't going to take that down. That was just ridiculous driving a $100,000 car without any money in my bank account. That was humiliating. So my best friend's husband, shout out, gave me $10,000 to buy a car. I just love how much support you're surrounded by. Yeah, yeah. and he's like sorry my wife set you up with that guy sorry about it yeah so then I yeah filed for court because after I was picking myself up and I you know got the strength to go all right I actually need to go to court I need to get some kind of financial settlement here otherwise I'm

going to leave at my mom's until I'm 100 so I filed for court and also he had promised me that we didn't need to go to court, that he was going to give me X amount when he sold our development thing. And of course that day it came and went and he didn't give me the money. And so that's when I filed for court and I went to court and it was awful. And I didn't get $1 and I got a $40,000 legal bill just to like put the icing on the cake. Excuse me. Okay. Sorry. I have to be pervy. How do you go through all of that and not get a dollar? What did this man say or do to get out of all of this? So in the court process, you do parenting stuff as one thing, completely isolated, and then you do your financials in one thing. And remember, you got to pay to have a

lawyer, right? And I didn't have the money to pay for a lawyer. So I did find a lawyer who was happy to do some kind of pro bono stuff. And then she had so much trouble getting him to... Oh, you wouldn't have been able to get financials out of him? Absolutely not. No, he wouldn't provide any financials. So she ended up advising me to just put whatever resources I had into getting the parenting arrangement that I wanted because there was no, she said he'd probably rather chop off his penis than give you any money and he will. So she said, you know, let's just go for the parenting stuff and then if we get some financials, let's try. So anyway, so I remember like one day when we're doing the financials, we had to go to court. You have to have a barrister. It was $5,000 a day

for a barrister. And I got there and we were in there for 30 seconds and he didn't bring any of the documents that he was meant to bring on the court that day as far as financials. So it got sent out of court for the day and it got a further date down the track. And I had to pay $5,000 that day. How the hell is that not a fee that he then has to pay for wasting everybody's time? This is insane to me. Like I understand the process. I really do. But like, you're going to waste their time you have to pay. Like, surely that's a thing. Yeah. So, then at the end, we're in this like big room with the court person and myself and him and both our barristers. And you know what? I never got addressed on that day to do with financials. No one ever asked me a question or no one asked

me what I want. And at the end of it, the court register who was supposed to be like facilitating this whole financial thing, she just said, do you know what? None of this makes any sense. We've been here all day and I still don't understand your financial position. Why don't you just make your wife an offer and then we can all just move on and get out of the day and so they went off in their room and they came back and they said the offer's zero and my barrister who was so annoying on the day he just was so weak I didn't know him he was the not the person that I had the first time when I wanted the person that I had the first time because she was a ball breaker anyway so that's why I signed off on it when he left the court register said she goes darling

don't worry you'll build yourself back up and you've won you've you've got your kid you got out of there. Okay icon but like you deserved so much more than that and like you know what that man probably didn't even have any money because the money that he's like shuffling through is other people's but like the fact that that money would have gone to raising your daughter as well be so for real like I get so frustrated about these situations because you've been taken advantage of and even once you leave you're still being taken advantage of. I know and that time like where you're committed to helping them and their business ventures you're not earning super you know your career's not going anywhere they're building so even if he didn't have like massive

cash flow at that time he still had businesses on the go he still had you know all the things happening in place and he was able to sell the property before court and do whatever he wanted with the money I didn't get that privilege of going oh cool I'll get half that so I can put And he shouldn't have even been doing that. Like, oh my goodness. I am so sorry. So talk to me about today. Let's fast forward. You have a beautiful daughter. You are on track to getting financially in front and like you're here to tell the story, which is honestly so good. What does life look like today? So the good news is I managed to buy myself another place. You managed to buy yourself a house after all of that? An icon. Yeah. So, thanks to the government,

they brought out this single parent scheme for women or men wanting to get back into the housing market. And so, through that scheme, I fit the criteria perfectly. And I have a friend who was a mortgage broker and he's like, you've got to get this. You have to go for this. You're perfect for this scheme. And so, I did and I got a place. So, that was good because I honestly thought I'm never going to be a homeowner again, ever. So that's still a scheme that's available. It is. We get people into that often. Like it is actually so cool. It's yeah, I'm probably going to do a whole episode on that at some point. But like this idea that you can get in for a 2% deposit, no LMI, like it's actually so sexy. It's so helpful. So that's good. And I've,

yeah I've just become quite obsessed with money stuff now and my like looking into the family history of my money journey and what I need to like you know improve and face and all that kind of stuff so I've started investing as well I think in the last couple of years so I've got money that goes into ETFs or EFTs I always get that around the wrong way yeah yeah ETFs and then in the raise I've got raise and then I've also got I heard another lady who talks about money use this term, maybe it was you, I'm not sure, but she calls it spicy investments. Oh, I like that. Yeah. A couple of spices that are just companies that I share the value with and they were,

you know, doing crowdfunding for equity and stuff like that. So I went in with a couple of those, which was exciting. No, I love that. So let's jump forward. Obviously, I usually ask a million structured questions. So now we're going to like backtrack and I'm going to answer those because we got a beautiful segment of your story, but I wonder what are you doing today? What do you do for work? How much money do you earn now? Okay. So I'm in the health industry or health space and I'm on around a hundred. Oh my goodness. I love this. I was going to say, but that also includes some single parenting, family tax stuff from the government and you know, that kind of thing. So good. Yeah.

So that's worked out quite well. So you've bought a house, which is so iconic after going through this. You have a daughter. Talk to me, what are your big money goals now? You said that you are getting back in front financially, what are we working towards? So I want to get my second property this year. And just being a single parent, it is obviously hard to get the loan over the line with the banks and stuff like that. And I really felt the pinch of that the last couple of years being on your own and not having that dual income to kind of go off and do projects and stuff. So I've got a really good friend who is in a similar situation and we've decided to do something together. And so I'm looking forward to that. And I feel like

I'd love, you know, if more single mums got together and did stuff together, it would definitely help their financial security then. That's so cool. I love that. I haven't heard of that. I've heard of friends just doing it together. I've heard of, you know, siblings buying together, but like going, no, we're single mums. We're going to do this together. Adore. I'm obsessed with you. How good. it. Yeah. So we're on the fair start of the conversation and we've got a bit of an arrangement in place. We just are now getting, I guess, those pieces of the puzzle together so we can actually go into the bank and go, okay, this is what we're doing. Yeah. How good. I love this. All right.

Let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side, I have a few more questions for you. All right, Money Diarist, we are back. You mentioned before, I'm investing. I've got some ETFs. I've got some raise. How did you start that journey? Was that part of your financial literacy journey? Was that something where you're like, I just need to be growing wealth? How did you get into it? Yeah, I guess from, I think, first comes the fear of going, oh my God, what am I going to do? How am I going to get myself out of this? How do I recuperate what I've lost in all the things? And how am I going to have financial security in the future? So I knew I wasn't investing. I didn't know how. I didn't know what you did with. It was just so overwhelming

for me. So I just started learning about it and yeah, following podcasts like yours and Instagram pages like yours and a few others that were kind of giving tips and that built my confidence to, I did a couple of free webinars on investing and that exposed me to those things like Raise and Sharesies, I think it is. Yeah. So that was how I built my confidence up to start doing that. And yes, so kind of just learning, just learning. And I think the other thing that I've done is my bad money habit, which I don't know if you were going to ask me about that, but... I will after, but you can spoil it now. So my bad money habit, which I wanted to get over was that I can be avoidant about it. So

if I'm feeling overwhelmed, then I just go into complete avoidance. So I won't look at superannuation details or I won't look at if it's performing or I won't check my bank account that week because I'm worried I've spent too much money on the weekend. So that's my bad money habit. But on the flip side of that, I've kind of created my own little workbook that I do to overcome that. And that was all about financial literacy and daily habits so that I can come out of that avoidance. I'm forcing myself to check things every day and forcing myself to learn one thing new every day about money that I didn't know yesterday, that kind of thing. Yeah, no, I adore that. So talk to me about debt. You've obviously got a little bit of it,

but it's good debt because you have a mortgage and you're actually planning on going into more. How much debt are you in? What does that look like? And how does that make you feel? I think the debt for the mortgage has got a bigger purpose. So I'm not, that doesn't concern me at all. I don't really have any other debt, which is good other than my HECS, which is one of those, you know. Ones that just linger. So that's around $35,000 and I've got about $2,000 in credit card, but I don't have any other debt and that's a good thing. Yeah, no, I love that for you. So back to best and worst money habits. You've obviously gone literally through it all. We've gone from literally having your house burned down when you were in grade four to super yacht

family rich back to being a single mum and having to borrow money from people and get people to buy your flight? Like you've been through the ringer. Do you have any good money habits that you've established along the way? Like I feel like you would have to. You mentioned a couple of things before, but I want to know what else have we got? I think, do you know what? I've thought about this question and I think the main one, because it filters to everything, is that now I'm talking about money a lot. And I've got my key friends that I talk to about money a lot. And it's not in a comparison way or a Snoopy way or anything like that. It's more, I want to know what other people are doing, what salary they're on. I want to know what the benchmarks are here. I want to

know what everyone else is doing. Yeah, what are you doing? How are you doing it? Like, can I grow from this? So having the conversations and with my friends and family now, which I never, if you know what if I had have had those back all those years ago you know I might not have got into that situation because I would have been able to speak about it you know but when you grow up being told you know don't bring up money that's very rude don't ask people what they earn that's very rude and you know obviously you pick you don't just ask any random person what they earn. I do I actually do yeah I've done it for years now no one's corrected me like no one's actually stopped me so far so good. I found out that a colleague was on almost triple the amount. Excuse me?

Yeah. And it was only because in her induction, they actually made an error. And so, but then they had to like, you know, live by it and pay her that. But that was so integral to understanding what was an option. Yeah. What was out there. And so I think, you know, we always think we can't talk about it, but how, how are we going to learn from each other? How do we lift each other up if we can't talk about where we're beginning from like it makes no sense to me like my success doesn't dim your ability to be successful like my success actually helps you and gives you a pathway to what you could do like I want you to have that I want you to have every ounce of that because if you aren't going to back yourself who is like you need to have every tool

to put yourself in the best possible position and I'm going to give you the tools like I've been in oodles of debt. I also now I'm in a way better financial position. But both of those things people can learn from. Why wouldn't I share that? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And, you know, where there's secrets, so to speak, that's where there's that can be predators or where there can be, you know, things that aren't quite right, whereas you should put the light on things. And yeah, it's more expensive, I guess. My goodness. So talk to me now. Worst money habit. Is it just burying your head in the sand? Like you were saying before, you just hide from things that aren't maybe lighting you up or making you feel a little bit overwhelmed?

Yes. I guess the avoidance stuff. So if I went away for the weekend and maybe I think I spent too much money, then I won't check my bank account for that week or just- I get it though. Stupid stuff like that. I'm very aware of it. So I've tried to face that through doing daily practice of checking accounts and checking superannuation, where's that sitting? Where's my ray of sitting, all that. But the other bad habit I think is probably, I guess with everything that's happened is to blame myself or feel bad about it or, you know, to continue like punish myself over it when actually that's not helping me. I have to, you know, keep looking forward. So

yeah, any negative self-talk is probably a bad habit and something that I'm continuously having to shake. Yeah. And I'm glad that you're aware of it because if you're aware of it, you can work on it. That's a good position to be in. At the start of this episode, you said, I'm a C and you've gone on to tell me one of the most powerful money stories, a story not about just growth, but you've been through it. You've come up, you've come down, you've come back, you've taken your power back, you've bought a house, you're looking at a second house. You don't have your head in the sand. This has not destroyed you. In fact, it's probably made you stronger. You are so intelligent, so articulate. Like I am at this point being like, I hope our paths cross in person because I want to

meet you. But I just, I can't see your money story being graded as a C. Like, I just can't see it. Like, and I'm not going to argue with you after everything that you've been through, but after hearing all of this, after talking to me about this journey you've been on and what you've done and what you've fought for because not everyone is in a position where they can do that but you have and you've stepped up even though it would have been really freaking hard. Do you really think that that's the money story of a C person or like what would it take for you to go you know when can we sit down and say I'm an A? What would that take? It's true. I think I've still got some confidence to work on. And I think if I, yeah, have a few more wins in the next 12 months around

confidence and money and stuff like that, I think that will take me up a notch or two. I love that. I'm not going to agree to your say, but I will let you have the growth. Money, Darius, this has been an absolute privilege learning about your money story, like so pervy, but also so constructive. Like just the idea that this could literally happen to anybody and like you do get swept off your feet and like we all love love I love love like I just you know I would have been that friend at the side being like oh my god I'm so glad you found your literal prince charming like I'm just so sorry that you went through it but I'm just so grateful that you and I get to share this story with our community so that hopefully people can

learn from it and grow from it and that it doesn't happen again to other people so thank you for that I just know the community is going to have loved listening to you as much as I've loved interviewing you. Thank you so much, Victoria. Of course. The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of MoneySherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.