She's On The Money - The “Hey Girl” Message That Saved Her From the Wrong Marriage

Episode Date: June 21, 2026

Growing up this week's money diarist remembers boiling water on the stove for baths because the gas had been disconnected, landlords turning up at the front door looking for unpaid rent, and feeling like she never quite fit in because everyone else seemed to have things her family couldn't afford. Determined to create a different life for herself, she worked hard, saved aggressively, finished university and built what she thought was her dream future with her long-term partner. Then, two months before their wedding, she received a message request from his ex-girlfriend. The kind that starts with: "I know you're about to get married, but..." What happened next changed the entire course of her life. We talk about calling off a wedding, navigating a breakup during COVID, buying a home on her own at 28, becoming a mum sooner than expected, and the money lessons that finally clicked after discovering the She's on the Money community. This conversation is about resilience, second chances, and learning that sometimes the life falling apart is actually making room for something much better. By the end of this episode, you'll be very glad she never made it down that aisle. New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.  Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements (nartarshabamblett.com.au) The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 4451289See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblett, I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. Ti, gilinyan ganya, nianakaka yao yinbina waka, nianakai nianbina yakarumja, duminyagumiga dumiga ithawaka nirawamundamun imelan, mumubangada boma ininyalan waka, gaononyakarumja, wutunarana. Hello beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,

bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. She's on the money. She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money. the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries brought to you by our friends at Sky Wealth where I get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of our incredible She's on the Money community members and talking to them all about their journey. Let's jump straight

into it because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi She's on the Money, I grew up seeing money at both extremes. My parents were young and very wealthy. Then, almost overnight, it was all gone. For a long time after, I lived paycheck to paycheck and in a constant state of stress. About four years ago, things started to change. I fell pregnant unexpectedly and had to pull my head out of the sand. Now, with two kids, I'm focused on building something steady and real. I'm not chasing huge wealth. I just want security, options and a sense of control. For the first time, I feel like I'm actually getting there and creating a different kind of future. Money Diarist. This is going to be juicy and good and exciting and also I think

really wholesome. How are you? Welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm well, thank you. Oh, how good. All right. Before I get into the juicy stuff, because that's all I want to get from this. I'm like, whoa, what do you mean you're wealthy and then you weren't? Tell me, if I asked you to give yourself a money grade from A through to F, what would it be? I'm going to give myself a C plus. Like I've got some really good money habits now, but I've still got some really bad money habits. I still feel like me and my partner are in the learning and growing phase. But yeah, we're in a much better position today than what we were four years ago. So I'm very grateful for that. Oh my goodness. All right. I need to know. You need to tell me a little bit more about your

money story and the things that have impacted it yeah so my mom had children quite young well both my parents did she fell pregnant when she was around 17 and still at high school oh wow yeah the stress the stress but credit to her she finished her schooling and she got into university of course she did what can't women do she met my dad shortly after that and by the age of 23 there was four of us what crazy yeah queen queen calm down I know so I'm pretty sure that life at that time was pretty stressful for them but you think four kids yeah basically under five what I know it was feral it was feral I kind of am a little bit envious but also don't come near me with that energy I'm scared yeah yeah and they they talk about it now like it was all cloth nappies back

then. And yeah, I just couldn't even imagine. It would have been so much harder, but also how wholesome. So tell me, I need to know more. We had four kids because they didn't know how making kids worked or they had four kids because they were like, let's just keep going. We're already in the trenches of nappies. We may as well keep going. Like, was this intentional, not intentional? Like, I've just got questions. Knowing my parents, they're not planners. I don't think any of this was planned I think it all was just one big party and that's how it ended so good on them I love it so grateful that you know I've got three really great siblings so yeah grateful but yeah so mum finished university and pretty much straight away she got a really

well-paying job in the corporate world and I feel sad saying this I don't exactly know what that role was but I do know that it just came with all the bells and whistles so she had a company car she had a fuel card she got to go on lots of international trips she got bonuses and she had commissions and things like that so wow we were living and she had four kids I know I know a 90s icon I know we never just know the suits were hot you just know I know I'm just sad we never got to go on any of our international trips with her but we did get some pretty cool souvenirs so happy for that I mean as a kid that's a very good deal on the flip side I remember my dad went to a conference in America when I would have been three and he went to Disneyland and he

brought back an Eeyore toy that I still have today and I'm still obsessed with and it's just like the coolest thing ever and I used to tell everybody that dad got it for me overseas yeah like what a flex I don't think kids care anymore about that but like back then that was a big deal oh yeah I love that I love that and look dad was working pretty hard as well I don't want to give mom all the credit I do he was working who runs the world girls yeah I know right so life was pretty sweet I mean that looked like for us you know we had Foxtel we got takeaway every Tuesday night we got lots and lots of birthday gifts and Christmas gifts and yeah life just felt really really special at that period of time that's really cool

but also isn't it how do I say this isn't it funny that to me those were definitely markers of wealth as well so like the kids that have foxtail we didn't have foxtail like whoa rich yeah what do you mean you get takeaway every week that's crazy like for us that wasn't a thing and if we got takeaway it was like a bit planned like and there was a fair bit of lead up to it like it wasn't a weekly thing it wasn't even a monthly thing like yeah I just look at that and go yeah you must have been real rich did you have a double door fridge by chance I don't think we did but yeah all right well maybe not that right I just remember as a kid feeling like we've made it like you have yeah this is great this is how life's supposed to be 100% what happened next they

separated. So just before I went into high school, they separated and my mom left her corporate role. She just wasn't coping very well with the travel and things like that. And my dad had entered his own business with a family member and that was just a flop. So no, like a switch, we just went from being really, really wealthy to being really, really poor. And also I think it's important to know that during that time where we did have an abundance of cash my parents did not do anything with that money to set us up for the future so they didn't invest it in property they didn't invest it into the share market and they I don't even think they put any into a savings account we just okay you just don't know what you don't know at that time though and I mean yeah to give

them a little bit of credit for kids is really hard and for kids is really expensive so they are probably like you know what let's live love laugh like let's get takeaway let's enjoy the moment because we don't actually have that much time with our kids so when we do we may as well make the most of it and that can make cash disappear so quickly yeah and look that I really do think they just wanted us to be happy and just did whatever they could to make us happy I mean I just heard the story of you were definitely very happy yes so tell me what's it like having your parents separate right before high school I feel like that would have been you know obviously the best thing for them but it doesn't often feel that way for the kids does it no no it was really

stressful for us and you know we really felt the tension we really felt the shift in the financial situation and you know there were times where we were boiling water on the stove to heat up at the bathwater because the gas bill hadn't been paid to heat up the bathwater. The landlord was coming to the house trying to find out where their rent money was. Oh my God. And as kids, you're just like, I don't know, that would have been such a weight on your shoulders because you would have felt like, I don't know if the word is secondhand embarrassment, but you were like, they're coming after me. But like, obviously they weren't, but that's how you would have felt. Yeah. Yeah. And I think as a child, you do feel responsible, even though it's not your fault. You sort of take that

on and feel like that you played a role in that so yeah that was really stressful and talk to me why that was the case because obviously overnight you know your mum didn't take the separation well and resigned from her job but was that you know because they weren't supporting each other through that period of time and we don't need to get into the nitty-gritty of their relationship but you know sometimes this happens because well now there's two households to pay for or it happens because there seems to be some kind of disconnect between the fact that, you know, the mum ends up with all the kids and all of their expenses and the dad rides off into the sunset. Like there are different situations, right? What did it look like for you? Look, it was toxic and yeah,

we weren't spared any details. Oh, cool. Thanks, guys. That's not gonna mean that I have to pay for therapy later in life. I know. They definitely used us as sounding boards and I just, you know, I don't hold that against them I think they were in their early 20s and I think back to when I was in my early 20s and I probably would have done the same thing yeah but you also you don't know what you don't know and I'm sure they were trying their best and you know if we'd asked your mum back then you know why are you telling money diarist about this she would have been like oh she's the only one that also knows everybody yeah like I get it queen that's also trauma let's not do that in the future and I just remember being at school and I was the only kid that in my class

that didn't have a surf branded pencil case and I didn't have the embroidered polo t-shirt so just feeling like I didn't fit in oh that breaks my heart because it's not the case but that's exactly how kids measure value yes like oh my Roxy pencil case that I begged my mum for was like my pride and joy yeah yeah I'm so jealous of all the girls that had those but anyway now I know that those little things are just so not important they really aren't and they are not markers of wealth but when you're little like it's funny the things that you cling on to because you go well that means they're doing well yeah yeah and it's a pencil case yeah literally anyway so tell me what did that look like once kind of the dust had settled a bit or did it take a few years for the

dust to settle it took a few years for the dust to settle like I finished school and that was a struggle like yeah my parents were living paycheck to paycheck and fighting and but yeah got through school and then I moved out of home and I think this would be relatable to some people because I didn't like the stepmom I was like get me out of here oh okay yeah oh this is getting stereotypical I love it okay yeah she was crazy and I was out like she didn't like me is she still around she's not thankfully oh thank god so dad came to his senses as well yeah yeah I mean there's been a few crazies since then but so he knows how to pick him I like it get it when we say we don't like the stepmom I know that's really stereotypical but when you were moving out and maybe this is

more a therapist conversation than it is a money conversation but did you feel like great I have to move out that's my dad and this new woman that he's picking over me in a way because like I've got a few girlfriends who went through the same circumstances and they were like I have to leave she's here and now she's kind of on my turf what did that look like in reality did that kind of create a divide between you and your dad it did but he had been single for 10 years so we had had the luxury of just having him all to ourselves and I was the only girl so right yeah so when another woman came along it was tricky yeah understandably yeah I don't think it mattered who it was going to be it was always going to be hard given that he had been single for so long

yeah but also then she was toxic so that really didn't help it yeah yes and that relationship was toxic yeah okay so then what happened you moved out of home you started renting for the first time was that easy was it hard was it confronting that was tricky I guess one thing that I did take away from my childhood was that I always ensured that my rent was paid on time because I didn't want any landlord knocking on my door so I did that I made sure I did that every week but then the rest of the money it was just yolo it got spent on I don't even know what and I was living week to week and studying at the same time. That's hard. Yeah. Trying to do placement and keep up with life. But during that period of time, I met my now ex-partner and I got introduced

to his family. And that was the first time that I'd really seen how the other side lived. Like his family had the white picket fence they had the well-trained dog him and his brother went to private school they had a golden retriever it was a border collie so yeah same same yeah same same they had pretty throw rugs and ornaments everywhere and I was just like wow whoa what is this yes yes like I was like I want this like this is how I want to live my life this is great and they like his parents were very open and talking about the fact that they were going to retire early the family all went on an annual trip together like yeah they just to me they were living the high life yeah wow so once I finished university and got an adult job I started saving pretty

aggressively for a deposit for a house oh good job because it would have been so easy with a partner like that to be like right well I'm fine I'm just gonna match and keep up with the Joneses and start spending money on stuff no no I wanted to contribute to the deposit so I started saving pretty aggressively and then you know we got engaged we went to Europe and then we moved into our dream home that we built together and I just thought I've made it like this you have your own white picket fence yes yes yep yep I thought you know this is it this is my life and this is great but we know that when it's you know too good to be true it probably is sometimes it is oh no why was it too good to be true do I want to know is this gonna make me mad look I know this is a

finance podcast but I know you do like juicy details so oh yeah sorry like we're just girls yeah two months before the wedding I got a message request you got the hey girl message no no it was his ex-girlfriend and she sort of started the conversation with I know you're about to get married so I just want to clear my conscience this is what's been going on your entire relationship and she sent the receipts and the receipts were graphic no no no no that's not a girl's girl I mean do you know what maybe it is a girl's girl because I don't know how you reacted but I'm not gonna immediately like trust the ex-girlfriend like I think I would have needed the receipts to believe that yeah like I think I would have tried really hard to tell myself a

narrative of like she's just trying to ruin my happiness or like something I don't know and like that's probably really toxic to admit to but at the same time like maybe you needed the receipts well you know what I think my friends were a lot more mad at her than what I was because I was like you know what she just she didn't owe me anything at the end of the day she didn't know me I don't agree with her behavior and I'm so glad that yeah I wouldn't do something like that but I was more mad at him and given that I did have the receipts there was no denying it yeah and I feel like that's justified directed anger I feel like I'm always confused when people are mad at the other woman like yeah you're right she's not a good human like and I don't care what people say

this podcast only gets listened to by millions but I don't care what people say if you actively go into that kind of relationship knowing that they've got a partner that's also on you like that's a choice that you're making you're not probably the type of person I want to keep the company of but again you're right that person doesn't owe me anything but my partner he owes me loyalty like he does so I know where my anger is going and I feel like it would be where you placed it two months before the wedding two months before the wedding no rude rude what did you do well obviously I had to cancel the wedding that was the first thing some girls wouldn't queen that's very big like some girls would have been like no like he'll change maybe he'll be different

when we're married yeah no I'm very glad that I did cancel that wedding and look I think the saddest part about that I was thinking about this today was my dad actually got a personal loan out to pay for that wedding and I didn't know that like I just thought he had that spare cash laying around dad yeah okay but like thanks dad you are a king yes I don't like your choice in girlfriends but thank you for loving me still yes yes and I know he just would have wanted to do that like he was you know wanted to do the traditional thing and I'm so glad that he got all of his money back Oh, he did? He did.

He did. So thankful for that. And I hope he paid it off and just closed that. But I know he probably did. Did you do anything petty? Did you, like, tell his family? Because, like, I would have just taken those receipts straight to his mum. I'm so sorry.

I'm just that person. Well, look, it gets even juicier. It does? It does. Because his dad actually had an affair with her mum. So, you know, keep it in the family. Keep it in the family. Stop it.

So it was basically incestuous. I love this for them. yeah I'm just so glad I'm just out of it like they honestly they they do me I'm glad you are too you deserve so much more actually made me realize that you know I was so embarrassed of my life because of what I saw that they had it made me put things into perspective and realize that I shouldn't feel that way about my parents because they're better people than that exactly and I'm really sorry like just because it was toxic with your situation like that doesn't mean we have to accept it anywhere else like oh yeah what the hell one out of ten rating for him

also glad you kicked him to the curb two months before the wedding how did he respond was he like no I'm not initially he did the whole I'm gonna commit suicide thing yeah do you know what if anyone ever does that call the cops yeah that's a threat how did you deal with that I don't know I really can't remember I feel like he blocked it was so traumatic that I've just blocked it And I do have to admit, I did stay in that relationship for another 12 months because I was just like... But you cancelled the wedding. I feel like we all deal with things in different ways.

Absolutely no judgment. But for anyone listening, if a partner or someone related to you ever threatens that, you call the police immediately and you take them nothing but seriously. Like you need to call an ambulance. I'm really sorry. If someone is threatening their life, you call an ambulance. Like people should not be threatening that. and if they they're mentally unwell whether they are threatening that for real or they're just

trying to be manipulative call them yeah hands down I'll take you seriously yeah I've heard you say that on this podcast before and I yeah I think that's such great advice I don't know I just feel like sometimes it gets thrown around too flippantly I'm really sorry but if you're going to threaten that as a way of manipulating me absolutely no you are not yeah yeah oh my goodness so another 12 months in this relationship was it an enjoyable 12 months or a struggling 12 months of trying to make it work when it was never going to work it was a struggle and honestly my best advice that if anyone's ever with someone that cheats and think they can make it work most of the time you just can't and you it changes you as a person and you become resentful and spiteful and I just became

a really bad version of myself and I'm not proud of the person that I was during that 12 months well I am she was coming to the conclusion that that wasn't the right fit for her and sometimes you need to learn a few hard lessons yeah yeah but then COVID hit and I think three weeks in lockdown together and it was that was done oh we were done yeah when you get forced to actually spend time together and we realized pretty quickly that this was not going to work no but also good and so you break up it's COVID one out of ten timing what happens next well he was pretty determined to keep the house and he had a real emotional attachment to that house and honestly I was like whatever like I me yeah I don't want to be here it just holds so many bad memories for

me and my best friend at the time was just on the phone to me and she was like just get here right now I've got a spare room I've set up a tv in there for you like just pack your bags let's go stop it she's like I've been playing house come yes yes yes so I moved out and I will give this guy credit where credit's due the financial side of things was settled very amicably and there was oh good there's no lawyers involved it was very calm and we're both very happy with the outcome so it ended on a positive note that's all I can ask for he owed that to you I'm telling you right now after putting you through that amount of stress and making you cancel a wedding two months before it happened yeah no no he owed that to you I'm so glad you got it yeah so we separated in the

April the settlement all went through in the July and by October I purchased my home that we're living in now and I love it stop it I love that all by yourself all by myself I had some really good friends helped me during that time because I didn't have any family around me and they would come to house inspections for me and ask all the questions and they were helping me put together furniture and I'm just so lucky to have the friend trips that I do have because I think if I didn't have them I wouldn't be in this position today oh my god what icons again you deserve those friends good things happen to good people I think they were just waiting they were just waiting for me to leave and then they're like great like let's make sure she's in a position where she's not

going to go back I'm not going to lie that's with me with a couple of friends and I just go I'll just wait here that's fine you come to that conclusion I will be right here like my husband and this is a complete side note I hope people aren't like Victoria you're not talking about money my husband says that I like to quote collect strays and they're not necessarily strays but I will come home from work one day and be like by the way xyz is moving in with us for a few weeks and he'll be like great perfect just because I'm just like no it's gonna happen and I feel so lucky to have the space for you come it's fine like I just don't want you to be by yourself and most importantly I don't want you to go back to them yes and it it gives you an excuse to just drink

wine and gossip and talk shit about the guy and yeah exactly and that's cathartic exactly so how old are you when you bought this house so that was 2020 which was six years ago so I was 28 okay so you bought the house that you currently live in but like fast forward you said you have two babies so fill in the blanks what has happened in the last six years I followed suit with my parents no sorry 12 months later I met my partner who I'm with today gorgeous yes and I think because it was COVID it was locked down things got serious very very quickly oh it's a pressure cooker like it was definitely like because you couldn't go out for dinner and spread things out and there was no socializing with friends in between you were just like zero or a hundred mate like you're

know you're out yeah literally and within 12 months of becoming official we celebrated our 12 months together and the very next day I gave birth to our eldest child stop it that's iconic I know I know and it sounds so crazy but honestly I have no regrets like no I love it happy it happened that way just to like quickly ask what people might be thinking that was not planned right like you didn't get with somebody and then two three months in you were like let's have a baby together that's not what happened right no definitely not I was just at work one day actually and one of my friends was like oh I'm pregnant and I was thinking I'm like I'm late for my period and this has never happened before you were like that feels relatable yeah so I phoned one of my

friends and I was like oh my god I am late and she was like okay well get a pregnancy test get a bottle of wine let's meet at your house true pregnancy tested in a bottle of wine I love it yes I know I know and I did the test and I thought it was negative so I drank the bottle of wine glass yeah yeah iconic and then it developed and you looked at it later on the bench yeah yeah that's exactly what happened no no but we've all been there like don't get me wrong I was trying to get pregnant but I thought I wasn't pregnant when I was with Cammie and like I went and got a laser facial you're not allowed those while pregnant I had like four margaritas in one night and then the week later I was like I swear like I'm not feeling good like I swear I am

pregnant yeah I was I should have double tested or something who knows anyway oh anyway they're here they're healthy like just forget about it and I think it's probably important to note that during that 12 months so when I moved out and got my own house I went back to my old habits of just ensuring I had enough to pay the mortgage and then the rest was just spent on country road jumpers and ideas quilts and just meaningless stuff like I I wasn't saving during that time and I definitely wasn't making extra payments when the interest rates were 2.1% so mad regrets about that yeah but also isn't it funny when you say that it's so relatable I think when we talk about overspending we often think oh it's really big items but it really is a dares and country

road isn't it yeah like that stuff adds up and why is a jumper more than 80 now what the hell I know I know and I don't think I even waited for the spend and save it was just like I just want it right now Thursday night yeah yeah it's late night shopping yes but anyway it's part of my story and I'm doing things differently now so that's amazing love and so we have a baby the day after our 12 month anniversary yes you got to celebrate your anniversary I love that yes and then now you've got two of them yeah so now I've got two of them so when I gave birth to my eldest child we obviously hadn't planned for it so we didn't plan for the maternity leave and I had to go into Centrelink pay and grateful that we have that

opportunity but things were really really tight and we were really really stressed and then I was catching up for lunch with a friend I think my son was 18 months at this stage and she actually told me about your podcast oh hello welcome this is where I get to enter the chat yeah this is where you enter the chat and my partner had been saying things to me like we need to get serious and you need to rein in your spending and we need to think about our future but it wasn't until yeah like I was introduced to your podcast and I don't know things were explained to me in a fun an exciting and a relatable way that it started to stick and I started to put into place some things to ensure that we had financial security for our future. I adore that but also isn't it

so strange how much pressure it feels or like how much pressure gets put on you by yourself when people are saying things like oh money diarist you need to get it together or we really need to talk about you know being better with money but not knowing where to channel that energy and also not feeling like you've got any of the tools or resources like just going oh my god every time he mentioned it you probably were like yep yep cool no worries I will I will and then you just don't know where to channel that energy and then all of a sudden there seems to be a piece of content that is for you and directed at you and you're like wait this doesn't need to be as hard or as overwhelming what the hell like I didn't expect it to be as consumable as it was

feeling before yeah and I think also like it's really easy to just be like well we don't own millions so we don't have the ability to do those things and set ourselves up for the future yeah crazy so fast forward you've entered the she's on the money chat yeah new personality has entered the villa and then what happens you start to get your money story together I start to get my money story together I purchased your money masterclass thank you I purchased it on my credit card so you know you gotta you gotta do what you gotta do I didn't even offer afterpay for a reason on that I was like nah like I'm so sorry if you have to buy this on afterpay I'm not letting people buy I'm not accepting afterpay forgetting that people would just put it on their credit

cards yeah that was me and I also did the thing that you say not to do at the start of the masterclass which is don't go straight to the spreadsheet and I was like I have to go straight to the spreadsheet I try I try to tell you I tried I tried but you are just me you are me that's exactly what I would do and you know I had to tell you because I knew you would do it because I would do it yeah so that is our bible now that is what we live off that spreadsheet it is so pretty and yeah like I'm constantly reviewing our insurances every year now I'm obsessed with you love this comparing utilities we have an emergency savings account yes you do love we've started dabbling in investing and paying extra off the mortgage which is something that's

really important for me. Stop it. Yeah, love. Okay. And then when does baby number two come along? She came along nine months ago now. She was planned, but yes, she's our last baby and very, very thankful for it. That's so exciting. And now what's the plan moving from here? If you've decided, okay, that's our last baby, two kids, we are done. What does the future look like? well we have our short-term goals and at the moment we're just fixing up our house that we're living in and giving it some personality and some love and making it a space that we feel really proud of medium term we are engaged we got engaged last year yeah oh I love love so that's really really exciting and we don't want a big wedding you know I nearly went ahead with a big

wedding and I'm not doing that again so it'll just be something really that's fair yeah something really small and intimate and like my vision is that we will just book a house the weekend after we actually have the official ceremony and then invite all of our friends and families and supply pizza bya alcohol I don't want any gifts bring your kids yeah just super chill bring your kids is iconic yeah I know lots of people have weddings and say no kids the kids at my wedding made it but it was just I know that I have kids now so it probably means more but I didn't have kids then and I was obsessed like just little humans they're magic I don't know what's in them sometimes they're crazy sometimes they ruin things but mostly magic I think yeah and I think it's

important to note too that my partner is actually not from Australia. So we will be going overseas hopefully at the end of next year and celebrating with them too over there. So that's really important for us. That's so exciting. But what type of financial planning do you have to do for that moving forward then? Is that something where you'll consistently go overseas with you and the kids to go visit family? Definitely. I love traveling anyway and I'm so grateful that I've been able to give my kids those experiences. My first child's been on two international trips now and my daughter's about to go on her first one for her birthday. And so yeah, travel is definitely in our future. And I think it's really important for my partner to be able to go and

visit his family often and for our kids to have a relationship with his family. Like that's really, really important to both of us. Adore. All right. Tell me how much money do you earn? what do you actually do for work so I'm a nurse and I work part-time seven shifts a fortnight and I earn roughly between ninety and a hundred thousand dollars a year before tax plus superannuation oh okay yeah that's nice and that's your part-time income what type of nursing are we doing I'm an associate nursing manager so she's big dog she's a big dog she's a fancy girl I would not say that you and I both know that's impressive so you just sit down all right that is very impressive talk to me about your big money goals like you mentioned that you're getting married but

you're also trying to make the house somewhere that you're really proud of but you also have overseas travel what are your big money goals what are you currently working towards look I think we would love to have a house on the beach one day but given my childhood and where I've come from and the rollercoaster of a life that I've lived. Honestly, success to me just looks like being able to pay for my groceries every week, cover my bills, give my children some really nice experiences and just not having to stress.

Like that is just the ultimate goal. Like I don't need fancy things. I don't want designer bags or 20 houses or anything like that. I just want to be comfortable and I just don't want to have money being a huge stress in my life yeah I think that's what everyone's goal well you say that but I think that that's a really wholesome goal and unfortunately it's come from negative experiences of being like well there have been times where we haven't been able to do that or there are gas got cut off or you know so many other things and unfortunately it has come from trauma but I think

that just to be able to take things like that not for granted is actually a really big goal of a lot of people because they just go oh well I'm not enough I'm not this I'm not that but like just being grateful for the small things means that the big things mean so much more like you will just find so much joy in everyday life if you can appreciate what you already have at home and that is just so nice yeah and look I had a moment last week where like I took my son to the dentist for first time and he's gonna need work done and I was just like yep fine let's book it in and then I had a memory of when I went to the dentist for the first time and I was a teenager because honestly we could barely afford a toothbrush at that stage and I had to get like three or four

fillings done and I remember my parents having to be like we can only get one done today like we're not going to be able to get them all done today so just to be able to you know take my son to the dentist and get the work done that he needs just feels like yeah it just feels like success to me and I'm super that is success that is so successful I'm obsessed like what a money glow up like what a money story glow up let's go to a really quick break because on the flip side I want to talk about investing I want to talk about debt I want to talk about the personal insurances you touched on and then I'm pretty sure over this period of time you've got some pretty good money habits that you could share with us. So guys, don't go anywhere.

Our 1000th episode is coming up soon. And to celebrate, we're giving one clever listener a chance to win. She's stashed the cash. Today's mystery word is thousand. Tune into episodes of She's on the Money between the 17th of June and the 3rd of July and listen out for the hidden code words. There are five in total. The first person to arrange the code words in the correct order will win $1,000. Entries open on Friday the 3rd of July with details shared live on the pod. Good luck and happy hunting. All right, Money Diarist, we are back and you were introduced to the She's On The Money community by obviously the best friend you've ever had. Like what an icon. I love her. But are you currently investing? If so, what does that look like?

Yes. So I'll pull up my roots for this one. I don't have a huge extensive investing portfolio, but I have $170,000 in my superannuation account. Sorry, what? Could you just say that again? $170,000? Yes. Okay, queen. I haven't made any extra contributions to that. So that's just in the default account. You seem, so for those of you playing along at home, this interview is only audio, but I can see our money, Doris. She's looking at me like, maybe that's not enough. Queen,

how did you get $170,000 with no additional contributions at 34 years of age? I have no idea. I'm just with a D-box. That's so good. Have you been working since you were two years old or something? No, I haven't, but it's in the balanced growth portfolio and I know there's a high growth option and I know that I'm probably, we should be switching. That's okay, but we pick what we're comfortable with. but I haven't done anything with it so yeah that's that just to put that in context for a woman aged 30 to 34 and you're 34 the average super balance sits between 44,000 and 58,000 dollars

okay well that's nice so you're running rings around yourself which I am so proud of you for but the fact that you then said it's not even in high growth I was like queen what i love that for you but that just means you've got an epic work ethic clearly you've done a lot of hours to recruit that are you working in an area where you get extra support or is this just literally banking up slowly and consistently before kids i was a bit of a workaholic so i was the one that was always putting myself up to do the double shifts and overtime and things like that but yeah queen it's paid off like you could just literally have that compound and you will retire comfortably. That is very exciting. I'm not telling you to change your

risk profile at all. But what I heard before was that you just haven't reviewed it. Not that you've reviewed it and you were like, no, I really like that risk profile. You said, I haven't looked at it. So what I want you to do is make the most of that because, and I'm not being dramatic here, it's going to sound really dramatic, but not caring and not actually taking that action is going to cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars when you retire. Like the difference between a 1% return now, if you're in a different bracket, like if you did your risk profile and came out as a growth investor or a high growth investor, the difference might be up to 3%. But the difference of that over the next 30 years literally is hundreds of thousands of dollars that

you're stopping yourself from gaining. And I promise you'll wish in hindsight that you'd done something about it if things are getting a little bit tricky so it's free just have a look at it I'm not saying change your profile if you're not comfortable with it don't do it but please just look at it like I just please thank you no I will I will just look at it just just go and look at it and if it's scary you can run away but at least you looked and then go and look another time when it's less overwhelming but like this is stuff that we have to take seriously and that's free like that is free and in this economy i'm sorry it is so hard to put money in the right places and feel like we're consistently contributing but my queen you could literally be hundreds of

thousands of dollars better off just by doing a little bit of arvo admin well maybe hopefully the kids are still nothing yeah yeah no you're right you're right i definitely will i definitely will i promise i'm gonna follow you up i'm so sorry i'm gonna be like did you go look at your thing yeah it's so sorry but also not sorry at all that's that and then I purchased our home like I said in 2020 and that cost me about $535,000 I was about to ask I was about to say what debt are you in my friend it's good debt but what does it look like we currently are about $321,000 on that mortgage very cool and then a house sold two doors down from us which is similar to this one that sold for about $700,000 so that's really good to see oh very nice I have

to be really pervy in the best of ways but also maybe like is this bad maybe a protective way like I love your partner because you love your partner but you told me before I bought the house like you know I broke up with this toxic boyfriend and then I was able to buy a house and I did it all by myself and now the narrative or the thing that I'm picking up is that you're using this house as like a we tell me about that like is this now your house combined like is he paying for the mortgage and if something happened like what's the plan there yes sorry if that's an overwhelming question that's not an overwhelming question yes this is now our house this is a house that we pay for together we have another investment property that he owns yeah okay so he's brought

something to the relationship and hasn't just like kind of taken over paying for some of your mortgage and then if something happened he'd walk away with half your house yeah no like there's another asset floating in the abyss. Yes, there is. And then I have about $3,600 in a raise account. Okay. That is epic. The only reason I picked that is because when I first started this whole thing, that just felt like the easiest option. Totally. And it's micro investing. So it doesn't feel like you're biting off more than you can chew, right? Like it just feels like, okay, that's a cool gateway drug. Yes. It's like a set and baguette thing. And I know the fees are quite high and all the rest of it but I wouldn't care like to me that's an investment into your financial

literacy my queen is investing yeah that's what we want to see and I just started off with $25 a week and I justified that because like I was like I'd be willing to drop $25 on a margarita each week so oh same instead of buying a margarita I'll put it into the raise account so that's that I like that we've got margarita money and now it's thousands of dollars yeah and I do have a shares his account and that's got about $2,800 invested, all invested in VDHG and. Okay. Iconic. Again, I was just like, I need to pick something easy. I love this. I think that that is a really clean, nice way to start your investing journey. And like with your super, you've proven that from little things, big things grow. So like, look at you go. I'm so excited. Now tell me, we've already

you heard about your debt for your property and what that looks like do you have any other debt sitting around I don't have any consumer debt I do have a rewards credit card with a six thousand dollar limit on that but that is paid for every month and awesome yeah purely for points hacking and that's paying for us to go overseas for my daughter's first birthday so I'm super thankful for that love but that's not really a debt that's a strategy for cash flow and maximizing it if you can look after it. Yeah, I did. I was looking at what I could have got with my points

and it was like the four of us could go to Bali and back or I could have gone first class to Europe. But, you know, the sacrifices you have to make as a mum. It's rude, isn't it? I know. It's rude. I'll put my hands up and I'll do it. I'll do it.

I'll take one for the team. But, you know, kids unfortunately don't stay kids forever. One day they're going to be adults and you and your partner are going to be able to like clock all the points and do all of the overseas trips and you'll be able to tell your kids oh we just flew first class to Europe again it's going to be iconic yeah I love that all right tell me about personal insurance because you did say that you review your insurance annually how you set up to protect yourself if something were to happen when I'm in insurances I did not mean this type of insurance and this is why I gave my score

of a C plus. That's okay. Coming at you. Because I haven't set those up yet. Okay. And I did look at my superannuation and what I would be entitled to if something went wrong. And it is very, very minimal. It's not nearly enough to cover. No, no, not even a little bit. And I remember listening to a money diary recently where they had ghosted Sky Wealth and that was me. Like I was that girl. Oh, you've also ghosted Sky Wealth. Well, lucky this is anonymous. I won't tell if you don't sorry I will I will when I go back to work I will go back to that conversation and call them back I'm sure they'll be happy to hear from me again if you would like to feel a little bit better about this and this is maybe me admitting something that I shouldn't but also

sorry relatable Phil is currently chasing me to do my insurances and it has gotten to the point where Phil is messaging my husband and he says literally word for word he's like hey Steve I know Victoria's the problem here can we please lock in a time to update insurances because I obviously have all my insurances but since giving birth to Cammie I haven't updated them again and I really need to but it keeps being dropped back down to the bottom of the list because life right yeah so even I am currently ghosting Skyworld yeah so you know what the one thing that I like about them is no judgment. I come back and they say, oh, hey, nice to hear from you. Not where have you been? Yeah. Yeah. So shout out to them. But also I maybe am a C

as well at the moment for exactly the same reasons, my queen. Well, glad we can relate on that. Tell me, let's move on from that because I think we both have work to do there. Tell me, what do you think your best money habit is? I think my best money habit is now getting caught up in all the pressure around buying the expensive baby things and making those you know crazy parenting purchases with my first child like I definitely bought all the expensive clothes and I put him in swimming lessons at four months of age thinking that it was going to be in four by one or something I think he was in thought by one wasn't he I'm just like I don't know why I thought that he needed to start swimming at four months but anyway because Australian culture actually

pressures you into starting your child at four months that's why my friend it has nothing to do with you trying to dictate that narrative but rather swimming in Australia it's like a cult don't get me wrong I think it's really important for them to understand how to swim but we didn't put Harvey into swimming until like what he would have been nearly two and the judgment we got for calling up and being like hey he's two we would like to start swimming lessons because it was the only time that we had so like I got pregnant with Cammie and my husband said when you go on maternity leave with Cammie he'll be off too so that's when we can start swimming lessons and like our life just wasn't built to find that time during the week and as you would know kids swimming

lessons are during work hours they're not like practical times for me anyway that's fine the judgment we got they were like so what what swim class is he transferring from and I was like oh no, we've never done it. And they're like, never done it. And I was like, whoa, okay. I didn't expect this. Swimming in Australia is a cult. Yes, it's important that they learn this skill, but I promise you they don't need it at four months. They do not need it at four months. And I feel so silly saying that my son was doing so many lessons at four months. But second time round, I've learned my lessons. Facebook Marketplace has become my best friend. Oh, how good is it? I just bought a new cot on there and it was like less than a quarter of the

price of what it was brand new. Yes. My daughter doesn't wear any country road or sea jumpers. I've been able to borrow all the big ticket items from friends. So thank you, rich friends. Like I got the cot, the pram, the bath mat, all from friends. Iconic. Adore. Yes. And I think I spent like $300 on my son's first birthday cake. $300. That is a lot on a first birthday cake. But again, no judgment, probably elite. Look, it tasted really good and it looked really good. But this time around, I've been looking at TikTok videos and the Woolworths mud caker. Yeah, iconic. That's actually genius. That'll be this year. I have actually, this is, I think, a money win for our household. I told my husband, you are always going to be in charge of

our children's cakes because two things are going to happen there. One, we're not going to buy cakes, so money win. But two, if they look terrible, I can be like, oh, isn't it so wholesome? My husband does it whereas if it was me that was making it and it didn't look good I'd you know kind of probably run to the shops and get a replacement so I think this is genius honestly it's a convenience tax it is oh my goodness all right on the flip side what's your worst money habit this is going to sound really niche but I just love buying a 600 mil code zero from petrol station even though is $5.80 and I know that if I just wait 15 minutes I could get a 94 cent can at home but no it's not the same it's not the same I'm a diet coke girly and like in my head there's a hierarchy of coke

right so like I think you're crazy because I hate coke zero I can tell the difference like diet coke is to me the elite diet coke in two liter bottles to me that's like drinking like I akin it to milk that's UHT milk like that's maybe powdered milk coke in a can that's like pretty fresh but coke in these little skinny cans the tiny little skinny cans that's fresh that's straight from the cow like that is elite level crispy well I think you're actually the normal one because I recently learned that diet coke was created for women and coke zero was like more for the men what yeah so I didn't know this was a thing. Apparently it's a thing.

I think it's just the preservative or like the fake sugar in it. Like I feel like to me and everybody at work thinks I'm insane. They're not wrong, but it's not about the Coke. I think Coke Zero has a terrible aftertaste that I can taste for ages and Diet Coke does not. So the drinking experience for me, exactly the same. But the aftertaste, I can't deal with Coke Zero aftertaste. What is that?

Why would you want that? Well, don't come at me. But apparently the term diet makes it more appealing for women and the flavour of Coke Zero is more appealing for men. Okay. So I'm still inherently toxic when I'm trying not to be. I love it. I love that for me.

Let's leave that there. Money Diarist, at the start of the show you said, I reckon I'm a C-. You've been through so much. You have been through the absolute ringer and we've had a really long chat and I'm so grateful for it. But like you've seen money at both extremes, very wealthy and then not even scraping by having the gas cut off and being loaded up with that as a child, which feels even heavier.

But then cancelling a wedding and then meeting the love of your life and having two babies like my queen, you have a mortgage, you have a house, you seem to be the type of person that is grateful for what you already have at home. And that is really hard to achieve. do you really think that the person i've just done a whole nearly hours long money diary with is a c-minus like is that really what that person is i know she hasn't got her personal insurances sorted but like that's not like that many grades yeah look we're gonna stick with that i'm still in my learning and growing phase and i love it you can keep it i'll come back to you

when it's an a i might not agree with you but that is okay i just think you're doing so well and i'm so proud of you and i'm really grateful to your friend who introduced you to the she's on the money community because now I feel like I have another friend so thank you thank you no thank you so much and thank you for this community because yeah I'd be in a much worse off position if I hadn't discovered this podcast I'm obsessed thank you for sharing your story it was genuinely such a privilege thank you the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's on the Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.