She's On The Money - The Simple Way To Secure Your Perfect Home Loan

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Kick off your weekend the right way with our usual Friday Drinks fun! We’re celebrating your money wins, sharing some savvy broke tips, and diving into a juicy money dilemma about navigating wedding traditions that don’t feel like you. Plus, V spills the tea on the easiest way to find the best home loan that fits your life. Tune in for laughs, real talk, and the financial advice you need.  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, guess what? It is Friday, which means it is time to get our little family together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. This week, Miss Jessica Ricci is going to be sharing her favorite money wins from the community. Bex Syed, she's got a few broke tips that she definitely didn't steal from her girlfriend. We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about different options when it comes to taking out a home loan. And we're going to unpack something that you slid into our DMs about. This week, we're talking about how to navigate family traditions

that don't feel like you when you're planning your wedding. So to start off the week, I want to know, Mr. Scricci, you finished your first sewing project? I did. I'm so excited. I text a few people this morning. It was like, look at my bag. Cause I finished it at like 1230 last night. because you know when you get going and I was so close to the end and I just had to finish it. Anyway, so it's a little wonky. It's a little bit ugly, but I'm so proud of it. That's so cute.

I'm like a kid with a painting. I'm like, look what I did, Mum. No, it's beautiful. And do you know what? It doesn't look as how you're going as I thought it might. Thank you. You're welcome. That's a big compliment.

Like when you said it looks a bit, and I was like, oh, have you got a picture? And then you showed me. I was like, oh, no, that's not what I expected. That's much better. I wouldn't have thought someone handmade that. No, I thought you bought it. So I think that that is a 10 out of 10.

What's the next sewing project though? I really want to try making like a top. Well, because the whole reason I wanted to learn to sew was because I wanted to be able to sew my own clothes. Because clothes are so, like I went to Cotton On and a top was like $60. What is going on with that, by the way? Cotton On, you are meant to be accessible. So many of the shops that like I would go like previously and things would just be, Like to me a top, like a cheap top is like $40 max, maybe $35.

You can get them for $3 at Kmart, but sorry, continue what you're saying. No, totally, but it feels like everything is getting so expensive. I'm about to get very off topic, but did you see, speaking of things being really inflated, that Kohl's last financial year they've released their profits and it was $1.1 billion with a B. And then they had the audacity in their statement to say we've been working really hard to like help our consumers through this cost of living crisis what while making a one point like I just anyway it feels like everything's more expensive than it should

be so I want to so close shareholders win yeah should have been oh my god yeah so hopefully a top but I feel like you have less me so mad and they're like we're really cracking down on theft I know like are you why do you think people are stealing essential sir and also like low-key I'm not going to help you like I see that that might be your narrative but if I see someone stealing something at Coles I don't see someone stealing no way that's not I didn't see that no I should have had my glasses on so sorry Mr Coles man like not my circus not my monkeys yeah it just is wild so yeah maybe you'll see me in a top one day soon might be a little wonky we'll see I don't care it would be made with love yeah Beck have you been sewing your own clothes this week

No, but I have been doing a different type of sewing. Oh, what have you been doing? But in the skin. Oh, that's right. You've got your tax money back and you've spent it on tattoos. Is that what you mean? I've got like six tattoos. And I just want to say the place I got it from,

they're called Liquid Silver in Abbotsford. Oh, yeah, here we go. We're just going to do a little shout out. I like it. They're so cheap. Are they? How much do tattoos cost? As somebody who – what did you get?

I've got a bunch of everything. You don't usually are, but I know that this is beyond. Like they were so nice to me and I just want to say thank you so much. Oh, how cute. I was about to be like, how much does a tattoo cost? Because I actually don't. Do you know how much a tattoo costs, Jess? No.

Well, I just got like one random word that is four letters and it was very small and that was like $150 when I first got it, not from this place. Yeah, yeah. And so I was like, oh, my God, if I want to get six tattoos. That's a lot. It's going to be like $1,000. It wasn't.

Do you want to know? Am I allowed to say how much it was? Yeah, of course. I want to know. I want to know. I got five tattoos for like $400. That does seem very cheap. Yeah, they were so good.

With no context at all. And I guess because I designed them all, so maybe that made a difference. I have no idea. And to be honest, I thought it was going to be way more than that. I thought tattoos were like thousands. Yeah, same. Anyway, that's my plan is to cover my body. I would like a tattoo to her later.

Not for the show because this is an audio product. Of course. So like literally no point right now. But maybe later. Yes. Let's get into the show, though, because I want to know, Miss Desgrici, tell me what money wins or confessions have you seen coming out of the group this week?

All righty. My first one this week comes from Danielle who said it's a huge one for her and her partner. It's been over two years in the making and she's been counting down the days until she could share it with the group. They now have over six figures invested. She said she used to think that this would never be her and she knows that she's really privileged to be able

to prioritise this over the time period that they did. But she's really grateful that she's on the money for the advice because they wouldn't be able to be there otherwise, which I just thought was really nice. Isn't that wild? Yeah. Six figures invested. That's crazy.

That's so, so good. And I just want to say, and I've read ones before from people who've said, I've invested for the first time and I've put $5 in. If it's six figures or if it's $6, if you've started investing because of the show, like, that is just unreal to me. She's in our brains, Bec. We're so proud of you. She's in our brains.

What did we record just earlier, Bec? We did just do an episode on investments, actually. And Bec shared that not only, because remember how Bec downloaded the Sharesies app? Yes. That doesn't mean that you invested. Yes. But how much have you got invested, Bec? $9.

Well done. Thank you. Very exciting. So, yeah, congratulations, Danielle. That is just so, so, so cool. Next, I've got a money win from Amanda, who also is very proud of herself. Completely different story, though. She said this is very niche cultural content.

It's coming up to the Mid-Autumn Festival and boxes of mooncakes are now on sale. They're $50, $60, $70, even up to $150 for a really premium gift box of four mooncakes. They are so expensive. And if you didn't know, it's a tradition. You gift them to friends and family. They are so good. I've never had them before. Oh my gosh, maybe we should get them because they're on sale now.

So Amanda said that it's really expensive and the tradition is you gift them to lots of people during this period. She said it's really hard to justify that cost. So she spent four hours and $20 on some ingredients. She used a wooden mold that she'd been gifted and she made 24 mini mooncakes all by herself. That's really sweet. Homemade gift from the heart and she's got enough ingredients left over. She could make another 24.

What a money win. Oh, sick. And there is a lovely photo that Amanda put in and they look adorable. Oh, so cute. Oh, those are, they look like the ones that you get in the box. They look really professional. And I just thought that was very cool. Like, a cool way to go, hey, like, I still want to participate in the tradition, but, like, you know, buying $150 books, not for me.

No. It's so expensive. Mm-hmm. Well done, Amanda. Yeah, good for you, baby girl. Really cool. I love that. Next, I've got a money win from Elise, who said they were about to buy a new dryer because theirs was leaving marks all over their clothes.

Then her partner called LG, who I'm assuming the washer was from or the dryer, and they sent a technician out, fixed it the same day for free. What? For free? Doesn't hurt to ask. It certainly doesn't. That's so sick. So good. Next, I've got a message from V, who said she found an excellent condition cat tree

on the nature strip. She dragged it in two minutes before the big storm hit Melbourne. Oh, my gosh. That would have been absolutely ruined. Yeah. And it's one of those ones she's put in a photo, which I'll show you in a second. It's one of those ones covered in fur. She said her two ginger cats, Fred and George.

Adorable. Hi, babies. Absolutely love it. Thank you to the mystery neighbor. She reckons it would have been $100 originally. I'm sorry. The cat photos. Do you know what?

She knows the rules. She knows the rules. If you're going to talk about your pets, you have to pay the pet tax. V has paid her pet tax. There's lots of good photos on the thread this month, guys, so definitely go check it out. I am going to end on a money loss this week on the cat. And a good reminder, I think, she lost both her car keys

and it's going to cost her $1,200 to replace both of them. I'm sorry, $1,200? Give someone your spare car key. and you know what most even if you have a clicky like a lot of us have the you know yeah um the what the you know what i mean oh i knew i knew i knew the first time um there'll often be a manual key as well so just get a cut of your because to replace the electric i don't know what to call it the remote yes the remote embarrassing to replace the remote is often extreme i really liked that much better that

is much better actually objectively to replace the remote is often extremely expensive so if you have a car key that does have a manual just cut a copy of the manual give it to your parents or your best friends or your neighbors so that if you lose your remote you can at least still get into your car and you're not like oh my god i have to pay twelve hundred dollars or i can literally never drive again yeah that's also like another money win if you are buying a brand new car you know when you're like negotiating price negotiate to get an extra key oh that's so smart like if you're at a car dealership and asking you know can i get a better price lock them down on price and then say also can you please throw in an additional key that time is also the time i don't know i'm full

of car tips today to ask for like upgraded floor mats or like additional wipers that you can put in the glove box like Jess knows how to change car wipers so call her. Surprisingly easy. Yes exactly but that's the time that you want to ask for an additional key if one's not included or you want an extra because they're so expensive and you just know you just know that the dealership it doesn't cost them that much. No they probably have a machine out the back that they just I want to spare thank you. That's so smart well there you go very sorry for your money lost Kat but hopefully that can be a future money win for someone else. Yes all right that's a really good place to leave those.

Bec, you got some broke tips, my love. I sure do. I was going to say, once I ended up losing my keys, I was in St. Kilda or something, and I was quoted like $1,400, between $1,400 and $2,000. And you see my car. It's so old. I could break a window and replace the window. Yeah, exactly.

But it doesn't jiggle the handle for long enough. It's just going to come undone by itself. I could probably jimmy this with a screwdriver. Yeah. But anyway, that's $3. I Googled, Googled, Googled, even went on Reddit randomly. I went everywhere and I found someone who did it. It didn't look very safe.

It looked very dodgy. But he did it for $300. So just know that Google is your friend. That's a good reminder to shop around. There you go. Exactly. Okay, so I have two pro tips from the community and one from myself as per usual. Exciting.

What have you got? So one listener said, shop at NQR. I know we've gone and said we usually talk about like Cheaper By Miles and its equivalents. Yeah. But I don't think I've mentioned NQR before. I haven't been to an NQR in years and I feel like I'm missing out. It is so fun.

Like everything's basically a dollar. Everything's a dollar. Actually, I was watching, this is Cheaper By Miles, but it's very similar to NQR. Someone went and they said like, you know, they have like $10 and they made like a video of it and he went through and kind of just like picked items and he had like a whole basket full of stuff, and he only had $10 on him.

So you go to places like NQR, TV by Miles, and, of course, things are in there because they're not quite right. They're NQR. But that's fine. We don't care about that. We don't care about that. It's like a smashed box or a misprinted label. Absolutely.

Like, they're going to go off soon. Things that are completely fine to eat and tasty and also fun. It is so fun going in there because there's, like, little toys and things like that. It's exciting. It's an adventure. It's an adventure. I love it.

NQR, good one. especially right now, the one thing that I do remember them having a lot of is like school snacks, like snacks for kids for their lunchboxes. And, I mean, we've all been kids. We get a bit sick of our lunchbox snacks. What a good way to mix it up. Yeah. Yes.

For cheap. Yes. This next one comes from a friend of mine. Bec's like, I don't have kids, not a problem. Not a problem, not a problem. Easy, easy, easy. Okay, this next one comes from a friend, and I know you guys are not going to like this one,

but this is so up my alley. Okay, all right, all right, it's your show. Let's go. Okay, so if you're going to like those BYO restaurants. Yeah. This is definitely up our alley, by the way. So far, so good. Okay, cool.

So far, so good. So, you know, I feel like it's really socially unacceptable to take yourself a bottle of, what are they called? Like bladder of goon or a bottle of fat with lamb. I've never heard it phrased that way and that does make it less attractive, doesn't it, Jess? Totally. Yeah.

Carry on. What do you call that? Bag. Cask? Oh, of course. Is that right? Ladder of wine. I mean, technically, Jess, she's correct.

I was just going to say, I don't think you're wrong. I just think it's gross. Yeah, the image of that. Not for us. Ladder of beer. Carry on. So we're not taking that to BYO apparently. But if you have like, I don't know if everyone does this,

but I always keep my old wine bottles because it's really nice for like if you want to put like a little pot plant or a little flower or something like that yeah so you like keep all your old wine bottles i am keeping all my old wine bottles because my niece and my nephew are collecting them for the recycling the 10 cent thing so like i i get crucified if they come to my house and there's not a collection of recyclables for them because that's their pocket money you better start drinking babe i know i know not to well you would really find enjoyment in this because you can just chuck i know that you can put goon wine in the bottle in the bottle or your fat little lamb or whatever cheap equivalent of alcohol you have.

I used to do like a spirits mixed with, this is really gross, but it was spirits mixed with 75 cent soda water and a dash of cordial. Sorry, reframe. You made cocktails. I made cocktails. I made cocktails. And it was so cheap and it was like, God, like it's so easy to just go, you know, but you can't like walk around with like a plastic bottle of soda water that's kind of green.

I mean, you probably shouldn't walk around with a bottle of wine either. No, that's true. But yeah, you're taking it. Nobody's here to stop you. It's very discreet. It's very discreet. Just know that me and everyone else, no one's going to judge you for doing this. And I think it's a really good way to take some alcohol to a BYO restaurant for cheap.

And that's not even your broke tip. That was somebody else's. But I did say it was a friend. And, you know, I surround myself with people just like myself. As you should, Koi. As I should. This next one also comes from a friend, but I'm going to claim it. Okay.

All right. So it's yours. I'm claiming it. It's my own. So my friend said switch off your hot water when out for the day. Electric hot water systems in particular, not like with gas, you have like a, what's that called? That burning, what's it?

Pilot light. Pilot light. Don't switch that off because I feel like it takes a whole team of professionals coming in and switch that back on. If you have an electric hot water system, switch it off for the day as you go out. It'll save you money. I'm so confused.

Do you think that, sorry, I'm not confused. I just have questions because that's quite smart. So I like that. But does it then cost you more to reheat it? This is what a guy said to me about heating the house. Remember how I've been like two months in a row, $800 heating bill? What a $800 heating bill.

Two months in a row. I just paid them twice. We didn't pay the first one because I was just so in shock. So we had to pay $1,600 this month. No, you didn't for your heater. Yep. I don't want to talk about it. We do.

Do we want to talk about this? I mean, I do, but I can see your trauma. We can see your trauma. We were talking to someone and they said just instead of turning it off because I'm like, I don't understand. Like I'm turning it off during the day. Like we only turn it on for a little bit. I think this is where this question in my head is coming from,

from you saying like I turn it off, I don't get it. Like is it the reheat? Yeah, well, that's what this heating person said is it might be more affordable to just keep even overnight, keep it at like 17 degrees or something because our house has been dropping to like 12 on the really cold days. A whole other story about insulation. But anyway, he was like, just try, pay enough to keep it at, you know, 17 or so, and then

it'll be actually more affordable in the long run than trying to pump enough heat to bring it up from like 12, which I blew my mind. But also makes sense. Yeah. The science sciences, but the math in my head, not math. Yeah. It was all too far over for me, but I don't know if maybe you're right. I just have questions.

So I think that that might be really smart because the hot water system is definitely not the same as heating a whole house. like maybe you just put it through and it's one of those like instant hot water systems yeah true yeah well but actually i'm thinking because if you like turn your car on every time you stop turn it off and on that's using a little more petrol than if you're just like idling i assume is it the same i assume too why is it built into my car then yeah oh yeah sorry i forgot that i forgot about your oh no my car newer car my carrier does not do that I was going to say, when I see Victoria's car, fancy pants over here.

In that case, I take that back. No, no, no. That doesn't mean it's true. It's actually the most annoying thing in the entire world. That is the most or one of the most first world problems is I hate when my newer car stops at the traffic lights and then I want to go. But then I have that few second delay lag of like the car turning itself back on. and I can't I feel like the people behind me are grumpy at me that's quite high on my list of things that are embarrassing for no good reason yeah you know I mean like that if you don't take

off quick enough at the lights like it's fine it's not that deep but like or yeah the cut the sound of the car turning on like sometimes my radio won't work it like it just will not work so you have to turn the car off and on and so I won't notice until I've like driven to the first set of traffic lights and then I'll try to turn my car off and then on to get it going oh that's embarrassing yeah so embarrassing i'm like oh my god the person the car behind me can see me turn my car off i feel like there are so many things that are embarrassing that shouldn't be embarrassing like the other day i went on a walk because i wanted to like go a different way because usually i do like a loop around my area which i've talked about a million times but i like

at what point do you turn around and not look insane i know you guys like flip like what do you do do you just stop halfway up the path turn around and start walking you gotta pretend you're on the phone and I kind of like waddle back and forth a bit and then I like kind of like kick the stones on the ground and then I walk I slowly walk the other way I do that at the shops if I've gone the wrong direction I'm like too embarrassing to just simply turn around like god forbid I wanted to get something else from the fruit and vegetables section and I have to go back now that's in back we need to do a thread Jess in the Facebook group this week of just things that are so embarrassing for no good reason yeah yep yep do you know what else

I find really embarrassing that shouldn't be embarrassing money related though having to count out my money yeah like when I'm like who's doing that these days like when I've got like coins or something I just feel the amount of stress that I feel making the cashier wait for me to find the money it's almost like I forgot that I could even add money together I'm like how much more did you need? And they'll be like a dollar. And I'd be like, I don't know how to calculate a dollar. Like my brain just turns off. It's mortifying. Yeah. Funny. God, anxiety. You love to see it. Everybody listening to this who's like, I don't find anything. Must be nice. You don't have anxiety, do you? Oh man, what a world.

All right. Well, those were good broke tips. Those were epic community money wins. Let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, we're going to be talking about the different options when it comes to taking on a home loan and we're going to be talking about something a little bit spicier how do you navigate family traditions that don't feel very much like you when planning your wedding so don't go anywhere welcome back everyone let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma shall we hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the Money team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and

leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. I'm currently saving for my first home, aiming for around $700,000 and eager to start ASAP due to the rising market. I have $90,000 in stocks and $40,000 saved. My family can't be a guarantor or can't help with the deposit, so I'm considering two options at the moment. A company called Own Home. With my current 40% savings, I can enter the market now. My repayments would be about $4,800 per month at a 6.9% variable. If I wanted to save an extra $40,000 over the next six to eight months, I can go with a company called Timely Home. My repayments would be around about $3,700 per month at a 5.9% fixed

rate for two years. Alternatively, I can cash in all of my stocks for an almost 20% deposit and follow a normal bank route. However, it's just going to leave me with no safety net and I'm going to face capital gains at tax time. Any advice would be so appreciated, guys. I'm always just skeptical, if I'm honest, of anything that's not a bank, which I know it's really great that we have access to all of these different things and I don't know anything about either of those companies. But even rent to buy, I don't know, there's something about it that makes me a little bit iffy. Well, I did a little bit of research and they seem like two different things. So own home, when I have a look at it, it's like spend less to become a homeowner,

rah, rah. And it's definitely some type of low deposit home loan scheme where they are the lending facility. Whereas timely that she mentioned when I look them up, they're just mortgage brokers. So the one thing I would say is get really clear on who you're talking to. So it sounds like you've done a heap of research and it sounds like you're really well resourced, 40 grand in savings, that's a lot. $90,000 in shares, that's incredible. That doesn't mean you need to sell it down, but that is something that goes on your assets list when talking to a broker that gives you better lending. Go and talk to a good mortgage broker. I know a heap. I actually employ them at Zella Money, but what I would be doing is going and talking to a broker

who can go, all right, Beck, I'm going to spread all your options out. So right now we have $40,000 in savings. We've got your shares. We've got this, we've got that. Like any good mortgage broker is going to take you through all of your home deposit schemes, what you have access to, whether there are banks that would accept you to not pay any LMI if you were to go for a loan through them. Like a couple of weeks ago, we got a single mum, her first home with a 2% deposit. No guarantor, nothing. A 2% deposit. We see homeowners literally weekly at Zella Money getting their first home for a 10% deposit.

We had a couple of weeks ago, someone get it with a 5% deposit. These are people that don't have guarantors. So like obviously with a guarantor, that is really easy. But there are different credit unions. There are different lending facilities that good brokers have access to to help you in this situation. And they will put on paper, literally sit you down and go, all right, well, you could buy now. Here's the outcome of buying now. Or you could buy in six months when you've got, you know, a little bit more money. And this is what these outcomes would look like. a good mortgage broker isn't rushing you into buying ASAP. And I think when Jess, you said, I'm skeptical, it's because those outcomes or what we're talking about here, like own home, I'm super skeptical. I don't want anybody swooping in and taking advantage of the fact that you don't have the deposit that you think you should have. So they go, you know what? I can get her. I can

give her a loan. I can put her in quote the best possible position and she's going to be happy with that interest rate. When in reality, that's not best for long-term you. So I would be talking to a professional here. Spoiler, when you're talking about property with a mortgage broker, it's free. It's not like going and getting financial advice, which can be crippling. Let's be honest, financial advice is really expensive. But when you're talking to a mortgage broker, we get paid by the banks we aren't paid by our consumer which is for me the sexiest thing about it because I can give you epic advice and it doesn't cost you a thing it just puts you on a better journey in a better position because I got to be involved so like I guess that's my

just talk to somebody in the know and it sounds like maybe this is a stretch but from the way that you're articulating what's going on you explained both options as though it was one or the other when in reality it was one or a broker who hopefully had gave you access to 60 plus different options like we do that should have been more clear when you were articulating that to me and that to me tells me that whoever you've been talking to is maybe not helping you in the way that they should be helping you. So my advice would be go and find a broker who can assess this homeowner option for you. I have literally said, and my team have literally said to clients sometimes, I know that you're here to refinance. Great. Don't. Don't. I'd love to help you

refinance, but you're not going to be in a better position because what you've got right now, you secured during COVID and that is epic. Please don't refinance yet, but when your time comes up, we'll do it then. We've literally said to people, you're right. You can't get a better deal than the one that's currently on the table for you. Go with that. Yeah. Like I do not want to just get clients and rack them up just because I can. I want to put people in the best possible position. Find a broker that can do that for you. Yeah. Is my advice. Beautiful. I feel like that was like, sorry, me just being like, I hate it here. Can I fix this? So apologies. I usually give you guys a heap of time to like have your opinions but beck what would you do you're like i'm not the

best person because i'm i'm literally noticing things in myself like when i was telling you guys about how i'm trying to like look up rent to buy situations and i'm realizing like it's uh possible but god it would be so expensive to do that and it would be really expensive long term it's expensive long term and like well it depends like some people would be great some people wouldn't be great but I I just get so like oh my god here's my one and only chance and I feel so urgent right now I'll literally sign any paper work that anyone gives me ever and I'm just going to jump straight into it with that so I think that the urgency might be there I'm sure for anyone who's trying to buy the first I feel it I get it yeah and it's like oh like let's just chill out and it doesn't

matter if this happens in a year's time or next year or the year after whatever or if it doesn't happen at all i feel like that's really relevant though like so many people experience that beck like that sense of it and i feel like that's the two pieces of advice i'd have about money when it comes down to it so that first piece is anybody who gives you a sense of urgency around your money does not have your best interests at heart yeah that's true anybody who's asking you to make a split second decision to quickly wrap it up it's for them it's never for you so if you talk to a broker you talk to a financial advisor any good one will say you let me know when you're ready I'll leave it in your court you call me if you've got questions you ask me like they

might ask you follow-up questions and be like hey Jess how are you going on the house hunt but they aren't going hey like you really need to find a property this weekend like you needed to settle like to me that is a red flag that they do not have your best interests at heart the second piece of advice would be, Bec, there is always another opportunity. Always. You're not ever going to miss out because you didn't take a financial opportunity because there's going to be another one. It might not look the same, but it will present itself. And I think so often people get this sense of, I'm going to miss out if I don't take this up. Oh my gosh, it's an investment an opportunity of a lifetime I promise you it's not yeah like it doesn't mean that it's a bad

opportunity but if it's not the right time for you it's actually not the right investment so if you have a sense of urgency because you're like I just I really need to just get this done all my friends are doing it I'm feeling behind terrible idea yeah yeah until you feel really calm really at peace and really measured in the decisions that you're making that's a good financial decision great I feel like I get so frustrated because that sense of urgency is something that I often see in the industry yeah and I just know that it's not coming from people wanting to put you in the best possible position it's coming from people who either want to prey on your lack of literacy and the fact that Becky you owning a home would be so sick I know like

it'd be so amazing so someone who can sell you that dream right now yeah but Becky could get into it sooner you go oh yeah this guy's here to help me it's gonna work on me no sure these guys here to help line their back pocket and the best way to do that would be to have as little strings attached as possible right so maybe if it does take a bit more time it might not be as exciting an option right now but i promise it'll put future you in the best possible position thank you i mean i know this wasn't for me but thank you i've taken a lot from this i am glad please don't do it talk me off air. Yes, I will. Great. 10 out of 10. Let's get into our money dilemma. This week, we got a DM. Are you ready to hear it, my friends? Absolutely. All right. Advice, please. She's on

the money. My fiance and I are deep in wedding planning. And to be honest, it's stressful. He comes from a culture where it's traditional to invite hundreds of people, most of which I've never met. These guests give large sums of money as gifts, which is a really big deal in his family. He's excited about this tradition, but I'm feeling overwhelmed. I always imagined a small, intimate wedding with close friends and family. It feels odd to accept money from people I don't know, and it makes it feel so much more transactional than celebratory. There's also an unspoken expectation we'll then attend the weddings of all these people

and give them large cash gifts in return. I don't want to offend his family, but I also want our wedding to feel personal and not a big spectacle. How do I navigate this without causing a fight or coming off as disrespectful? This is really hard. I actually don't have anything yet. So maybe I'll... You're like, give me a minute to ponder. Miss Jessica Ricci. I think it's very tough because ultimately a wedding is the marrying of two people who have different backgrounds, perhaps different values, different ideals. I'm sorry, don't ask the Catholic church that. Like the ultimate outcome more often than not in weddings, I think is that

you have to reach a point of compromise, like big wedding, small wedding, expensive wedding, cheap wedding, you know, dresses or suits or whatever, like 10 bridesmaids, two bridesmaids, like it's all a give and take based on what's important to each of you. I think the element that is tricky is the fact that it's not just, oh, I have 10,000 people I want to invite. It's a cultural thing. And it's, I think, important to acknowledge that it's important to be respectful of those traditions that are a part of your culture, a part of your upbringing. And they, you know, it sounds like a really important to your partner. I completely understand where she's coming from. I think I personally would also not love the idea of committing to

paying hundreds of people heaps of money over time. I would not agree to that. Hundreds of people, heaps of money, one out of 10. You're giving me anxiety. Yeah. And it's really hard because I guess there are a number of cultures in which that is a big part of the tradition and it's hard to figure out where you draw the line between what is comfortable for our listener and what is important to their partner as a part of culture and tradition. I don't think that there is a right answer or an answer that we can give you I think it is you have to talk to them shocker you have to have a conversation with them and I think the argument that you've put forward to us is very valid and if you're marrying this person I would hope that they would hear out your concerns

and work with you to find a compromise but if I'm honest I don't necessarily know what that compromise could be I mean maybe it is pairing it back and so instead of 100 people it's 80 people or 50 people or finding a number in the middle. But I guess that doesn't really get you out of the committing, I guess, informally to then attending other weddings and paying the money, which is tricky. But I think like it's something that you guys probably really have to come to together in regards to what feels right for you. Oh my gosh. Are you saying that like every other episode, communication is key? Crazy. I know. Oh my God. I did not see this coming but I think yeah just keeping in mind that what you want is valid but what he wants is also

valid and someone's history and culture is very important and your partner has a right to want to participate in that too yeah absolutely I get that you're uncomfortable about it though and I feel like when you're uncomfortable about something it's either because it's absolutely the wrong thing to do or you just don't have enough education on that topic yet from my perspective, doing some research into your partner's cultural weddings. What does that usually look like? You know, what does it look like in his family? Have you spoken to him? How does he feel about it? Like, is it something that he feels as though is just being pushed on him as well or vice versa? Like, where is this all coming from so that you can come to a very educated

decision, not just a, I, and I don't know how comfortable you are. We are always given such small amounts of information, right? But I would be asking a million questions about what does that look like? How does that work? And I mean, yes, there might be an expectation that you give big cash gifts, but I'm also a very big believer that irrespective of culture, giving big cash gifts, if you're not in that position, shouldn't be something that you have to do. So if that's something that they want to do, is a gift not meant to be something that is given without expectation totally otherwise it is not a gift is it yeah it can be hard because i i have a few friends that have gotten married that within their culture it's almost like i don't want to say a

competition but like people it's absolutely a competition and people are keeping track you know maybe particularly i think the older gender more traditional generation i've got a girlfriend whose family like wrote an entire spreadsheet of what gifts were given what the price point was how many words were written in the card and like that was normal everyone in their family does that because they keep track of it because then when they go to a wedding they consult their spreadsheet to see what they will be giving at that and like to me when I heard that I was horrified I was like oh my god I would never but if that's what works for them in their culture like who am I to judge yeah and I think that's probably where the transactional feeling comes

wrong but you're totally right like it's a hard balance because you don't want to disrespect those traditions or that culture or you know like if you don't reciprocate that gift you don't want them to be like oh my gosh they hate us because like you know it's so hard to navigate and you know it's not my traditional my culture to participate in weddings that way so I it's hard for me to understand I guess or to speak on but I love that we get these questions so we can learn more about it and I just go oh my gosh people do it like this I just I went to a friend's wedding a couple of years ago and she was Chinese and just even the immersion of her culture oh my gosh it was amazing like just understanding how many different ceremonies we went to in the lead up

to her wedding how many different things on the day were done that were very different to my wedding like it was just so cool but I can see that that would have been really jarring as her partner who was my friend growing up that did not have that cultural background he was like what the heck is going on I don't understand this or that and like it could seem a bit you know overwhelming and not what they are used to yeah definitely I have a friend who I think from memory she they take cash actual physical cash and like stick it to the bride's oh yeah yeah I've seen that yeah which I think is really cool so I just think like all of these cash different wedding that was made for me yeah like I feel like all these different wedding celebrations and ceremonies and all these

like all these different like variations of the same thing and we all celebrate it in totally different ways and like some people don't celebrate it at all some people do believe in it some people don't believe in it some people it's just really beautiful to see how different cultures and different people celebrate the same thing in in their own way which I think is really cool but I can understand why, like, in a culture and a society where we literally, black and white, cash for something is transactional. But for some cultures, it's not at all the case. It's celebratory. It's celebratory.

I'm not Hindu, but my family are Muslim, one half of them. And so we don't actually celebrate Diwali. But my first girlfriend was Hindu. She celebrated Diwali. And they give – well, she did anyway. I don't want to speak for all because this is, like, in high school. but they gave cash gifts and for them cash gifts it's not like a transactional thing it's not the way like we open up our mum's birthday card and hope that there's 20 bucks in there so we can like

you know buy us or something it's not in that kind of way it's just it it holds so much more value to certain people that is so true you know I wouldn't like yeah like the Chinese tradition of giving red envelopes yeah yeah red pockets a few different cultures totally so I feel like it's not someone giving you cash or that this tradition that is making you feel a bit uncomfortable I'm assuming they're probably not viewing it in the same way that we might but I can see your uncomfort and like I acknowledge that it's there but how do we work through that because I feel like if you're marrying into this as well it's going to be a theme that keeps coming up totally but I do think like for starters if this is something on your partner's side that is a

tradition if you ever come across a situation where first of all people aren't getting married every year once a year every year it's once off hopefully maybe twice off maybe three times who knows but it doesn't happen as often as a birthday or a christmas at what stage do you stop bringing a wedding gift like if jess was on her fourth marriage i'm like far out jess fourth marriage i would probably i would keep going if you had a wedding every year i'd be like i'll get you Another wedding, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. I loved getting married, so, like, I would have another wedding.

Oh, absolutely. A thousand percent. We could do a wedding vow, wedding vow. Don't put it past me. Wedding renewal. Wedding renewal, vow renewal, whatever it's called. Don't put it past me. I would if I could, but my husband won't consent to that, so I won't.

Oh, that sucks. Do we have some people weighing in maybe who had different cultural perspectives? We asked a few questions first. So, first question we asked was, would you feel comfortable accepting a cash gift from hundreds of people you didn't know? 46% of you said yes especially if it's a tradition and 54% of you said no it feels uncomfortable I think that's actually just really reflective of the demographic in our community like our community we are in Australia and I feel like we are multicultural which I am so grateful for

but overwhelmingly lots of us are going to have Australian values because that's where our podcast lives. And that's so okay. But I think, yeah, that's maybe reflective of that. That doesn't necessarily mean that no, everybody worldwide feels uncomfortable. It's probably just very reflective of our community. And then we asked, would you compromise your wedding vision to honor family traditions? Such a spicy question. 36% of you said, yep, traditions are important. But 64% if you said, no, your wedding should reflect you. Oh, true. I agree your wedding should reflect you, but what about the person you're marrying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, like you should feel good and comfortable. You're marrying into a culture. Yeah, it's got to be a hybrid of everyone's hopes and dreams. Yeah, it's got to be a compromise. Like it's two separate individuals. Culture's beautiful. Like the idea that you get to marry into another culture

that has this rich history that you didn't have experience in, I just think it's so cool like the idea that you've got you know you were talking about your ex-girlfriend she gets another shout out but like the idea that you got to have such a close experience with her culture and how she celebrated like doing Diwali would have been something that you'd never I just think it's such a privilege to experience other people's culture and like a wedding in lots of cultures is just such an honor and such an event that it's not just about you yeah but yeah it should be about you because it's kind of reflective of your culture and your traditions and even if you want what you deem to be a super traditional plain wedding that doesn't

mean that that's your partner's super traditional plain wedding yeah right yes what else do people say so we did say all right give us your two cents one person said in our asian culture this is very common and hard to compromise on to be honest someone else said we ended up having two weddings one traditional and one western. I kind of like that. Yeah, I was going to suggest that before. You got to the weddings, getting married was my favourite and you got to do it twice. That's cool. It doesn't fix a lot of our listeners' problems, but it's like a fun, I mean, also probably very expensive. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh, yes, absolutely. Fun idea. Let's just put the financial cost of the wedding completely aside while having this chat. Someone else said, I'd save the money they

They gave me for their family gifts and then add a little bit of an interest. Actually, not a terrible idea. Put the money aside for when you go to weddings. Just give back what you, I mean, if, yeah, like if it is that nature, what we were talking about before, where it's like. You've now got the budget aside to attend their weddings. Wait, you guys. 100 times 100 is like $10,000, right?

So I'm saying if you were 100 guests, a guest gave you $100, that's like $10,000. right? Then yeah, you could do that. Yeah. It's probably a really good workaround for the fact that our listener doesn't necessarily want to accept the money or feel comfy with that. Like maybe you're just holding it in trust until you go to their wedding and then you're giving them money. Oh my God, maybe that's the solution. Maybe that's the solution. The answer isn't communication. It's hold the money on trust. Sit on it like a dragon on a pile of gold and then- Like a dragon on a pile of gold. This is really reflective of the content you're into recently

because i was like gonna say a golden goose all right so next person you can still mostly hang with your people important to you and do things that are important to you i think that that's mainly saying like they can still do that yeah and honor their tradition it doesn't mean that your family has to give heaps of money maybe just the people that celebrate that way do someone else said my friend is going through something really similar and they booked a venue that has a max cap sorry we physically can't fit anyone sorry that's clever i actually just booked a restaurant actually it's really niche there's only a table of 10 someone else said we just chose to elope wouldn't change a thing saved oodles of money and all of

the stress one other comment said had the same situation but we stuck to what we want the wedding outcome to be that's a good point why are you getting married oh well now we're opening opening a new kettle of fish why are you getting married like and if you're getting married into that culture why are you doing that if it makes you uncomfortable oh maybe that's a little bit too deep too far too quick but like also maybe let's get really comfortable with the culture someone else said and i thought this was really funny um i come from a really big greek family my dream wedding's gonna piss a lot of people off not the traditional my big fat greek wedding no apparently not then i've got two two-parter answers to finish this off someone said i come from such a culture

i think the traditions have to be taken into context because it's definitely not seen as transactional it's seen as a way of coming together to chip in which i think is really beautiful and then the second two-parter was we had a traditional ceremony where my family helped pay and kept gifts from their friends and then we had a reception on a separate night then in brackets i know that's not easy for some with only our close friends so we could have the best of both worlds very good idea i feel like there's lots of compromise to be made but guess what guys to make those compromises you need to chat with your partner and understand how important these things are and I get that it feels transactional but after this chat I feel like I want to do a

bit more learning about how those cultures really feel like it's chipping in like I have had yeah like yeah I want to know more about how that works because as somebody who has grown up in a very Australian family I do feel relatively uncomfortable handing over cash gifts because I've been taught that that's the lazy gift like that's just how i've grown up like oh yeah just get them a gift card like to me that's a flippant response whereas which is so not true no no no it's not jess loves a bloody gift card nothing in this world i like more than a mecca gift card which you know so well but get rid of the idea that it's a lazy gift i'm talking like stereotypes and just things that in my head are part of my money story that i in the back of my mind go

maybe that's true but it's not true and I feel like that opens a conversation up of me being like I want to learn so much more about all these other cultures weddings and how they view money and what that looks like so if you ever see a podcast pop up that's like cultural money discussions or something you know where this has come from yeah it's so interesting well guys unfortunately that's all we have time for today have a good weekend I'm gonna probably do another bonus episode tomorrow so i'll see you then but we'll also see everybody bright and early on monday morning from money diary bye bye the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your

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