She's On The Money - The Stingy Cringe

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Are you strutting towards the Christmas break or stumbling? If you're anything like us it's a mix of both! The full team are back on deck this week to deck the halls and celebrate your money wins, share some savvy broke tips, AND answer a Money Dilemma about how best to make your Superannuation work harder for you. Plus, things got hot this week as you slid into our D.Ms about that friend who earns a good income, but is tight with money. Are they stingy, or are you being a judgmental friend? The gals have thoughts and feelings so don't miss it! Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom today my friends it is friday which means it is time to get my little team back together to celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, Ms Jasagri, she's going to be sharing her favourite money wins from the group. Ms Beksayed, she's got some very good broke tips for you. We'll be helping as a team to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about how to make your super work harder for you. And we're going to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMs about. This week, we're talking, guys, about stingy friends. No one wants to be that person.

No, that's juicy. Lots of people are that person. So we're going to chat about it. Okay. So before we get there, I want to know, how have your weeks been? Miss Gritchy, been doing anything fun? Nothing crazy. We had a secondary flight in our house this week for anyone who's playing along at home.

May as well just kick you while you're down. This one was not my fault. This one was not my fault. We woke up at 5 o'clock in the morning to the roof and the window leaking, which is really exciting. I actually cannot believe your luck. I don't know what I've done. What have you done? Literally, I'm like, what did I do to deserve this bad luck?

Did you do something in a past life where you just like really, really, really were naughty and then now everyone's like let it rain on Jess's house? It was like manifesting in a funny way, like literally only floods. Not only. It's like the plagues. She's literally up to three floods in her house in the last two weeks. Oh, actually, but your car battery did die.

You broke an ale as well. Ripped a dress. Oh, and this weekend. What else did you do? This weekend I got all the way through a glass of Pepsi Max. You know what I found at the bottom? No, no, no. no no big fat fly oh no absolutely not absolutely not i'm having literally the worst week of my

life you can come live with me that's okay this is weird like we need to study this i'm not normally this unlucky no she never is just like is perfect normally so i don't know why she's being thrown under a bus but mentioning flies why are they everywhere at the moment i think it's the dance like because I don't know what it is I can't deal with it yeah I hate I swear like there are so many flies at the moment and I just very annoying yeah they're in my house like where did you come from like my husband opened the back doors and we basically had a fight because I was like you close those I do not want flies in my house one out of ten I know so annoying but no I do I need to figure out what's going on here maybe did you annoy someone anyway well someone

put a hex on me do a cleanse yeah we need to do a cleanse when we finish this we'll do a cleanse Okay, I can't wait. Tell me how was your week? My week has been really nice, really Christmassy. I'm trying to like squeeze all the Christmassy things in and, you know, just seeing friends and like I'm busy and very tired, but also really, really good. My money win is that I ended up not going to Meredith, which was very sad. Why didn't you go to Meredith?

Well, I just, I realized like I just couldn't afford it. Okay, that is a very good reason to say no to something. I'm proud of you. Thank you so much. Old you wouldn't have done that. Old me wouldn't have, and because I had been kind of talking it up for so long and like I was messaging everyone I know, even though I didn't have a ticker yet, I was like, I'm going to Meredith, I'm going to Meredith and put it in my calendar.

And old me definitely would have been like, I'm going to find a way. I'm going to be broke, but I'm going to find a way. But this time I was like, you know what? I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much. Oh, look at you. Thank you so much. It rained all weekend.

Yes. So I feel like that's actually also a life win for you. That's so true. I do hear it was very muddy. Yeah. Which is not great. So yeah, win, win. It was really, really good.

Love it. Did you do something? You just like hung out with friends on the weekend instead? I did. We had a Christmassy night and played Christmas games and watched Christmas movies. That is very, very cute. Very cute. And what about you, V? As you can probably hear in my voice, I am still not 100%, which is really frustrating because I feel really good. But I had, what was it, acute bronchitis last week, which is why you guys had to take the helm and take one for the team and do a whole episode without me, which is always honestly terrifying because I'm like,

what are they going to say? Get on the mic. Oh, that Victoria Divine woman. Seriously. There's also just like such quick turnaround with our podcast editing that it means that I can't vet it before it goes live and like change anything because like YOLO. So I haven't listened to it yet, but I will.

I'm just a little bit scared. Don't listen. Actually, we did drag your name through the mud. I think you absolutely should have. Just keep it real. And then earlier this week, Brooke, who is our video content creator, she came back from the US, which is really exciting because she's been there for like three months working, I guess, international.

We're an international team of girlies, guys. It's about as international as we get, let's be honest. But she came back and we recorded so many videos over the weekend. We did this whole new series that is called Is It Home Brand, basically. So like we got out all of these dupes. We went to the supermarket and, like, spent ages going through the aisles and being like, oh, they're Froot Loops, they're Dupe Loops, like, and picked them all up.

And then we did blind taste testings. And if you've already seen it, we've started posting the videos already. I got absolutely duped by the fake Coke. Really? I'm so embarrassed. You were so adamant that you would always be able to taste the difference. Yeah, like, I was so clear because I'm such a Coke zero girly. Like, I don't want Diet Coke.

I don't want full fat Coke. We only drink Coke Zero. Like I am a Coke Zero stan. Like ask Jess. One a day. Every day. She loves it. And then the Q-Cola from Coles got me.

Q-Cola? Yeah, it was like in a 1.2 litre bottle, $1.10, money win. That is really cool. It's a very good money win, but this girl, he couldn't tell you the difference to save her life. That's really cool though. I think that's such a great idea. It was fun.

So we've done like a heap of those videos and I just got really good snacks over the weekend, guys. I'm excited to see the series roll out to figure out what I can replace. Yes. I actually think it's so fun. So if you have a dupe like at the supermarket that you're like, the home brand one slays, we need to hear about it because we'll try it on the show. Yes.

Great idea. Anyway, let's get back to the community. Miss Jasgrichi, what money wins do you want to share this week? My first money win this week comes from Brenda who said, money win and loss. loss. I traded in my old iPhone 6, which I haven't used in years, and I got a $55 Apple gift card. Oh, that's good. My partner had broken my MacBook laptop charger the next day, so the money went towards that. Rude. I didn't even know you could trade back phones that were

that old. I think I have a few in a drawer that I've just, so now I'm like, I'm going to go through my drawer and trade them all back in. Yeah. I thought it was going to be only like the most recent iPhone or something. Yeah. So that's pretty good. 50 bucks is 50 bucks. Judging by your luck, they will be like we're not taking friends anymore we're not taking these and also we're charging you they're gonna charge her jessica's hexed guys oh my gosh next i've got a money win from lily who said money win i put 24 hours between my spending and when i checked back online the dinner set i wanted to buy it was half price down from 129 to 60 oh that's a money win when putting that 24 hours between you and your spending pays off in a big way i hope you also

got some cash back as well on a cash back app. Genius. Yes, ideally. Funny that you say that because my next money win comes from Tara and she said money win. I was at Chadston when I found a pair of pants that I loved. I looked up the brand and they were 10% cash back on shop back. Oh, money win. So I ordered them online instead of on site and they were also on special on the website. Oh, so good. That's such a money win. Double money win. I feel like that's something I do all the time in store it's low-key a little bit like mediocre middle-aged white man but like i will like google the product while i'm looking at it in the shop because i'm like i want the best deal on this if i've decided i want to buy that am i going to get cash back yeah it's so

easy to do and then also lots of places price match so it's worth a try absolutely i love that i'm gonna start doing that give it a crack why not next i've got one from victoria great name who's fantastic name. You must be a genius. Her win is pretty smart. She said, I went $30 over my Christmas gift budget. So I found a candle I already had to re-gift, which saved me from having to buy them a gift. And it put me back within my budget. Oh, I love that. That's actually so resourceful. Very on brand for a Victoria. That's definitely something I would do. So slay queen slay. Next, I've got a money win from Julie who said, not really a money win, but kind of in a roundabout way. I couldn't find a Christmas shirt that I loved. So I made one with

my own painting. It didn't cost too much more than those generic ones in the shops. And I know that it's a keeper and she's put a really cute picky. Oh, that is cute. You look so festive. I love this. It's very cute. And it's a good way to use like if you already have a shirt at home. Yeah. And you have one of those Christmas parties where you need something festive, do a little DIY job. Yeah, I love that. Really iconic. Next, I've got one from Grace who said, I've sold 15 things on Depop since signing up a few months ago. I've cleaned out my garage and sold a few things on Marketplace. I'm decluttering and I'm making money. Big win. Great. I love that. I love how proactive it is though, because how many of us say we're going to do that and then

don't do that? Yes. She's doing it. Get it, Grace. Well done, Grace. And lastly, I've got one from Elle who said, money and feel good win. My daughter's school makes Christmas hampers for the homeless and families in need. I had $110 in Woolworths rewards that I had forgotten about, so I used it to shop for the hamper donations. I also ended up gaining an extra $20 on rewards in that shop oh money win that is very cool so wholesome yeah awesome and another good one for i know a few weeks ago we spoke about people who wanted to do charitable things but maybe didn't have the budget if you have rewards points that's such a good way to use them is use those to purchase the things that you want to donate genius that's everything guys i liked those ones jess i

feel like they were a very wholesome wrap-up a little bit festive little bit budget little bit saving i love it anyway i can say very festive yeah and you're you're in a festive mood this week, Bec. Seriously. So right up your alley. But now I want to know, what broke tips have you got for us this week? Okay. So as per her, I do have two from the community and one of my own. Who would have seen that coming? I know, just to like mix it up a little bit. Mix it up a little bit. Be a little bit different. So the first one comes from Rhiannon and this one is a little bit festive. We love a festive money win. Yeah. I feel like this one we may have mentioned before. That's okay. But I thought it's a really good time to just kind of like emphasize how great

this is. So Rhiannon says that in Woolworths, they have these cute Christmas designs on their paper bags. You can cut the bottom of it and use it as wrapping paper. So if you shop at Woolworths a lot, maybe if you get your reusable bag and you have to buy the paper bags, that also doubles as wrapping paper, which I think is a really cool idea. I love it. I saw someone on Instagram use their paper bag. They flipped it so that the writing was on the inside and they used it to wrap like a hand-picked bouquet, which is another really good use for it as well. So like they picked, I think, the flowers from their garden or something and they wrapped it. It looks like a beautiful little boutique bouquet. Very cute. The humble paper bag can do a lot.

I've said this a few times on the podcast before, but I literally refuse to buy holiday wrapping paper. It is so expensive. So a couple of years ago, I went to Officeworks and I bought a really big roll of craft paper, you know, like the brown craft paper. And I think it was like 30 meters or something ridiculous and it was like $15. It's all I've been using for wrapping. So you will always get a present from me wrapped in brown paper. And then I zhuzh it up with like some fancy like string I get from the $2 shop or something. Then everything under the tree matches and people think that I'm being like, oh, look how aesthetic she is. No, I'm cheap. Like the answer is cheapness, not aesthetics. But you know what? I like that you think I think that

is going to work. I do love brown wrapping paper. It's like a little bit rustic, a little bit helpful. Also, you could zhuzh it up even more by like going to like Bunnings and getting some like hessian string and like tying hessian string and putting like a few gum leaves or something in it. So chic. So cute. So cheap. And you could draw little festive things. Okay, I'm not as creative as you are. People would be like, hey V, I'm just wondering, why did a toddler decorate your presents this year? And I'd be like, that was me. I tried. I tried. It's the thought that counts. You can't yet blame that on your baby. No, not yet. But I will be. What's your second broke tip from the community, Bec? So this next one comes from Michelle. This one, I really do

like it because I feel like this is the reality for a lot of people. So back in the day when her and her family couldn't afford heat packs, they would fill an empty 1.25 litre soft drink bottle with hot water. The lid would screw on tight so no leaks. And if you wrap it in a tea towel with rubber band you have a reusable heat pack so that is really really it's a really clever way to kind of like make it through the winter if you're like in a position where you literally can't afford a heat pack you literally can't afford heating it's snuggie you can cuddle it in bed now it's covered in a tea towel exactly obviously you know don't put boiling water because that will melt your bottle yes just a nice just the i think like when you just turn on the hot tap like it doesn't

actually get too hot these days anyway that should do and that will last you hopefully the night which I yeah I love this I actually really like this broke tip and my one this one is not so broke that you can't use uber this is like I can use uber but I'm also trying to save money so I've noticed that if I'm trying to order an uber I'll go into the uber app I'll put in my destination I'll leave the app three four maybe five times so you've got to start this early you can't be There's commitment. You've got to start this very early. Each time you leave the app, it gives you a little discount.

I don't know if this will happen all the time, but with me, it did. Does it actually? I was getting an Uber from my friend, and I was kind of just like waiting for her response. So this was just completely accidental that it happened upon this. It started at about $30, and then it went all the way down to, I literally think from memory, it was $13. What? It went from $30 to $13. Was it surge time?

No, it wasn't. it was just a regular time. It just kept like saying, hey, are you forgetting something? Or, you know, this is still, do you still need this ride? He's 20% off, blah, blah, blah. It went all the way down. I just couldn't believe it. And so while I was waiting for her response, I just kept like opening it and seeing what it's at, going out of it again and blah, blah, blah. So I just, it was completely accidental. And so now anytime I need an Uber, I do this. And it maybe takes about 10 minutes. That's so good though. But give it a try. I like that. I've been using DD recently. DD's good. Because I feel like when Uber's surging and I'm like, I am not paying

those surge prices. I go on DD and then I get a good ride, whatever. Half of the time they come, the car comes and it's got the Uber sticker on it because the drivers are using both apps, which get it queens. But my favorite thing about DD is if you don't use it for a while, they send you vouchers and they're like, oh, here's $10 off your next ride. And you're like, haha, I'll just stash that one away for future use. Games the system. I'm all about gaming their system. I love that, Bec. I feel like that was very wholesome, little bit festive, little bit smart also. Yeah. Good money wins. Absolutely. Thank you so much. I love this. Let's go to a really quick break. And on the flip side, we're going to be unpacking how to

make your super work harder for you, which is definitely something we all want. But then after that, we're getting to the spicy conversation of talking about your stingy friends. And I think all of us like a little bit of goss, so don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everyone. Let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi there. Have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma.

hi she's on the money team love the podcast and all that you do in the spirit of financial literacy and investing in my future i've spoken to a superannuation management firm they've estimated they could increase my super from roughly 700k to 1.2 million over a 30-year period through a super fund account manager obviously this is appealing but i don't want to go in blind. Their fee is $3,000 one-off and then 1.6% fee per annum of my super amount. In addition, I would have access to their team of financial advisors and mortgage broker for free. I want to engage these services and feel like this could be a great one-stop shop, but are these fees typical? I know nothing is guaranteed in terms of future super performance,

but want to optimize what I can as early as possible. I'm not going to comment yet because I want your comments, guys. How do you feel about that? Jess, I know you know a little bit about like financial advice fees. What are your thoughts and feelings? I just, my thoughts on financial advice in general, whether that's an advisor, whether that's mortgages, whether that's investments, is that if they're approaching you, I'm always sus. I'm so glad you said that because I let you go first because I'm like sitting here with

red flags everywhere all over this. Also, they're saying I will get you from $700,000 to, what was the one point? I don't know if maybe you've misunderstood. The wording here is just not making sense to me because if they're saying that they can take you from $700,000 to $1.2 million in 30 years using our favorite compound interest calculator, I can tell you that if you had $700,000 and you did quite frankly not a whole lot with it. Tell me the specs you put in, Jess. Put it in assuming no additional deposits. You just have that $700,000 that she's saying that is there over a 30-year period, assuming an average rate of return of 7.5%.

Which is what actually is on the money we always use. It is a little bit lower, a little bit more conservative than the average rate of return of the Australian share market. Good job. Look at her go. I'm out of a job, Bec. She's taught me well. We're estimating that you would have about $6,595,074. Yeah. So $1.2 million is severely underperforming. $6 million? Yeah. You're not even doing the bare minimum, sir. Even if we drop it down,

right? Because I think Jess is doing exactly what I was doing. Let's pretend it's an average rate of return of 5%. Because if you've got 700 grand, girl, you are doing well. Can we talk about how you got 700 grand in super? Because like, I need to know that story. But if you've got $700,000 in super, even if it's at a rate of return of 5% back over 30 years, that's $3.1 million. Wow. What do you need them for? And you're paying them three grand off the top as well. I am always so sceptical of these superannuation management firms because usually, and I'm probably going to make some people in the industry really angry and I kind of don't care, usually if you are a superannuation management company, you are a burn and churn

company. You usually buy lists of people's phone numbers and you call them and go, hey, Bec, we're a supermanagement firm, like we can help you. And you go, oh my gosh, so you're licensed? And they go, yeah, yeah, we just got given your number. thought you were a good person to call. This happens all the time. We see it in our community so often. To be honest, you would be better off not paying a financial advisor to give you superannuation only advice for $3,000 and staying with a default fund in a balanced portfolio.

Like you would be financially better off by going on the Money Smart website and having a look at the Your Super Comparison tool and picking that. I'm not saying that that's what you should do, because if you've got 700 grand in super, girl, you are doing incredibly and you definitely should see an advisor, but you should see a holistic wealth advisor, someone who's going to go, well, what goals are we trying to achieve? What does this actually look like? Why have you got 700 grand in super? I'm assuming if you have that much in super, you're probably doing well outside of it and need some budgeting cashflow help and some, you know, investing help because that shouldn't be your only wealth creation asset. But to me, it's a massive red flag if they're then

saying, but it's a really good deal, Jessica. You can get access to our financial advisors and mortgage brokers. I'm sorry, mortgage brokers are free to begin with. Like legally, mortgage brokers cannot charge you for their services. And as somebody who owns a mortgage broking firm called Zella Money, I don't like, and this is coming from someone who used to also own a financial advice firm, you cannot be brilliant at everything. I picked one way and said, all right, I'm going to have to step back because, you know, as the director of Zella Wealth and Zella Money, they're conflicting. They need so much of my time to be successful. Zella Wealth wasn't taking on new clients and they weren't taking on new clients because I would be like, look, I don't have the

capacity between she's on the money and growing this mortgage broking business to do the right thing by clients. So I'm not taking anyone new. But if you're doing mortgage broking and financial advice in this economic situation where there's so much compliance, I don't think you can be good at both. Like, and I don't mean to be rude because I do have friends who own mortgage broking and financial advice companies, but they're not usually volume based companies, right? They might be like, oh, Beck comes in and we help her along the way. And that can be really great. Like it can be a fantastic service. However, if I'm going to go get a mortgage, like we know Jess on her first homebuyer journey. Jess, I know benefits from working with someone who 40 hours

a week, day in, day out, talks about mortgages, talks to the banks, is completely across it. So that when Jess is like, oh, what's this mean? They're like, oh, I was talking to Westpac yesterday. That's what this means. Whereas often when you're a financial advisor and a mortgage broker, you don't do that much mortgage work because the financial advice work takes so long and you're not as in touch with what's currently going on. And with the interest rates going up and everything kind of in a shamble, you want someone who has their finger on the pulse, but like every second, not, you know, once or twice a week. So I'm quite, I don't know, assertive. That's why I like you having independent experts who are great in their field and you build a little team

that works for you, not necessarily going to a one-stop shop. Because don't get me wrong, sounds perfect in theory. It's not necessarily going to work out that way because they're often like, oh, it's just a hygiene factor. Oh, Jess is one of our financial advice clients. She needs a mortgage. Can you just get her one? Yeah, just honestly, whatever goes through easiest. It's not putting Jess in the best possible position. So to me, I'm going to get a lot of hate for that. I don't care because I'm not even an advisor anymore. But these super management companies or firms or whatever they're calling themselves, if they only do super and they're giving you access to their you know super advisors you don't really need that you're probably getting it free

already through your super fund and for three thousand dollars to do initial advice for only one stream that's a lot. What was your first thought because like we've spoken about this before but I feel like you're more similar to Alyssa in that have you been approached by someone like this before what would your instinct be if you were? Totally well like as you guys know I used to like kind of work in super but i didn't initially think about how that looked over 30 years like jess i think you were like on top of it and you were like this seems really low but i guess like my my first red flag may maybe my only because i'm not it was a it was a while ago you guys so my you know it's not fresh in the mind but my first and maybe only red flag was that

if someone's guaranteeing any kind of growth. Yes, that's a red flag in financial advice as well. No matter what it looks like, no matter like if it's pretty much guaranteed, like in this case, like $700,000, it's probably going to grow in 30 years. But even then, like guaranteeing growth in any situation, I'm kind of like, ah, I don't know. Red flag, that's not okay. Yeah, totally.

I like that. Also, Jess, that $700,000 to, quote, guarantee growth to $1.2 million, That's promising a 2% interest rate return over 30 years. Yeah. Are you happy with 2%, Jess? I'm getting more on my savings account right now. I'm getting like double that on my savings account. Exactly.

We don't settle here. No. Crazy. But I think we'll wrap it there because I obviously don't want to go too, too far into this. But Money Dilemma person, could you please DM me that company? Yeah. Because I love this.

Ask Jess. the amount of times people DM me the companies that have like approached them. And then Jess and I sit at my laptop and I'm like, look at their PDS, look at this, look at that. Let's have a read through their license. What the heck? How do they get away with this? Look at their fees. Because if they're managing your super right, and I don't mean to be rude again, there are lots of financial advisors who are very actively managing super in a very, very constructive way. And if you need a financial advisor and you're looking at this going V, where the heck do I go? You can actually just go to our website. And one of my team

members will match you with one of our pre-vetted financial advisors or mortgage brokers to make sure you're in the best possible position. It's kind of like, I'll match you with my squad to make sure you're not getting screwed over, which I think is smart. But why such a high ongoing fee to manage super, which is essentially set and forget in a way. That is a very good point. Why are we doing that? You guys are vigilantes and I love it. I'm not having it. I'm not having it, Bec. But I think we'll leave it there. So if anyone wants to slide into my DMs with their financial advice fake companies. Not fake, but red flag companies. Red flag.

Feel free because I love the goss. I love the drama. I'm here for it. But you know what else I love? More goss and more drama. More goss and more drama. Let's talk about the conundrum that you guys slid into our DMs about this week. Are you strapped in, locked and loaded and ready? I am so ready. You are ready? All right. So here's the DM. Hey, she's on the money team. I have a money dilemma for you. Yes. One of our friends is chronically stingy. She earns a very good wage. Her husband

also earns a good income. Combined income, I reckon would be more than $300,000. And she comes from a very wealthy family. She invited 20 friends over for a barbecue for her birthday and originally said that she's doing a barbecue, just BYO your own booths. On the day of the barbecue, she messages everyone again and tells everyone that they have bought 24 sausages for 20 people and have some nibbles. And if you want something else for the barbecue, then you need to bring whatever you would want for yourself. I get that we're in a cost of living crisis, but honestly, we are 33 and she could have easily spent $100 to cater enough food for everybody. We're not broke uni students anymore. What should we do? Do we call her out for being stingy?

Do we just accept it's her and move on? Help. Let's see. I have, my best friend is just like this literally her birthday two weeks ago everyone brought their own food for the barbecue she kind of like framed it as a barbecue and then everyone just knew to bring her in food because we love her and we accept her she makes a lot of money but is this your friend babe i just think it's okay i just think it's okay i guess maybe give people more notice if you're like hey i'm having a barbecue i don't want to buy food for everyone so i'll provide nibbles you just bring whatever meat you feel like eating on the day and we'll we'll have like a nice i've been to lots of barbecues like that we're gonna have a barbecue at my place i'm gonna do a few salads bring

whatever you want to chuck on the barbie totally like your drinks that's fine yeah yeah i think it's completely fine and like honestly 300 000 for two people in this economy i mean obviously i'm not making anywhere near even one of them but i just think due to the economy right now due to the cost of living due to what do you call it V when it when you lifestyle creep yes lifestyle creep and all these things I'm like you know it's probably not even that much at the end of the day you know what I mean like it's a lot for some people but for someone who's kind of lived this lifestyle for a long time it's probably not that much like I say let it be I think she's allowed I'm laughing because I feel like I know what Jess is gonna say because like she's got an Italian

background and like I had a like a little dinner the other night with a couple of girlfriends over and Jess was there and like I said no it's all catered like booze and food don't worry don't bring anything she still brought stuff obviously it's Jess so I'm just like what is your thoughts Jess I'm kind of in two minds because I do if I was to host personally I would take care of everything but I think it's a very dangerous game to start implying that just because someone earns more than you they should or should not be able to pay more for something and I guess the time frame thing is definitely I suppose the the here for me I think if you want people to bring their own stuff that's so fine set that expectation at the beginning invite them to the party yeah

because some people might be in a position where they can't afford to bring a plate or can't afford to bring something and so you know they're saying yes based on assuming that it's all catered but and they realize that they have to help Kate. So I think that that is the thing that I don't necessarily agree with, but I think that, yeah, you're right. Like if that's the way that you want to do it, maybe they just couldn't be bothered cooking everything, you know, or maybe there's another reason that isn't necessarily stinginess, but I don't think that setting that boundary is necessarily a bad thing. Yeah. It's different in different friend groups too. If everybody else, when they host, caters for everybody and they're the one friend that isn't

doing that, you know, and you want to have a conversation about that by all means, but I think be really gentle because you don't know what someone's finances look like either. You don't know if they're paying off huge amounts of debt, you know, maybe they've got this nice lifestyle, but they're living on credit cards or whatever. Like, I just think that the, I'm kind of taking it away from the original question, but I think the thing that I'm, that I don't love in this dilemma is that the idea that just because somebody earns more, that they should have a responsibility to be more financially responsible, which isn't completely what she is. Yeah, it's their budget, not your budget.

Yeah. And I know that that's not really what our dilemma person is saying either, but I'm just conscious of that school of thought I think can be a little bit dangerous or unfair, but it is difficult. Like if your friend is always doing this and everyone else is paying, then I can see where that would be irritating too. Yes. I think the question needs to be broken into two questions because I think that there's clearly some underlying stuff going on in addition to this right so the first question and the real question here is my friend organized a barbecue uh she's having 20 people over and she said she's

doing the barbecue jess you need to bring the booze all of that's fine last minute she tells you you need to organize some food for yourself to bring to this party not good enough i go oh that's just annoying because like i'm the type of person who'd want to prep something and chuck it in the fridge the night before or go to the supermarket or have a think about like, oh, I really want to get this thing from Audi. Like to me, going to somebody else's house and taking something requires a bit more planning than just popping past Coles on the way there. I totally could pop past Coles on the way there and pick up a container of snags and it should not be an issue because like I was probably going to make lunch at home anyway, right?

So that's the question during a cost of living crisis. Can you at the last minute bring another budget thing on somebody else and be like oh hey that barbecue I'm having today you actually have to go buy some more stuff for it not last minute not last minute not fair I think that to me is the question the underlying issue here to me is actually more about the person that's written in I want to know why you care so much about what your friend is earning and what they're doing with their money why are you guessing how much that combined household has in income we know in today's world, and I wrote an article in the Age and the Sydney Morning Herald a couple of weeks ago about this, that the average homeowner or the average couple purchasing a home now needs

$300,000 worth of income to be really comfortable. So we're not talking, and I'm not saying that that's normal by any stretch of the imagination, but here you are going, oh, well, her husband earns a good income and she earns good money and they should serve me. She comes from a wealthy family. What's that got to do with her catering your barbecue? She wanted to have a social gathering because at the end of the day, I was at my house one day and I was like, I'd love to have Beck over for dinner. That's the conversation, not what my history is, what my background is, what financial status I'm in. Because Beck, you could do the same. You could be like, I want V and Jess to come over for dinners. That'd be fun. Jess, I'll cook. V, like bring some booze. Don't

worry if you then sprung it on us oh by the way you're coming over for dinner could you bring the food as well I'd be like I was so excited for Bec's cooking like and everything to do with why you're you're thinking about that and I also look at it and go should you call anyone out for their stinginess no it's not your place we've talked about this on the podcast before you don't know what she's been through you're assuming she's coming from a very wealthy family what if there's a lot of financial abuse in that wealthy family where Jess, you know, mom and dad are super wealthy and they only give Jess money if Jess does a certain thing or studies something particular or, you know, is home by a certain time every night. And money's really triggering for her

because at the end of the day, it's a way that other people are controlling her. Yeah. What if money is really, really fickle and she's being stingy because she's trying to live within her means because she never wants to rely on her family? These are things that we're not thinking about when calling somebody else out for being stingy. And if you're calling someone out for being stingy and you don't know their whole money story, you cannot say that. There's got to be more to the story. I feel like you don't label someone stingy off of the back of one or two things. So I feel like we're missing a lot of context here that would maybe... I just hate calling people stingy. I just think it's so rude. Like imagine if we called Beck

stingy. Is she? No. You know what Beck is? She's super generous. She's good at blowing all her cash, let's be honest. So is she being stingy or did she just not have the cash for that thing right now? Yeah, totally. Are you stingy, Bec? No, I wouldn't say that at all. I got a fight with her before recording because she was like, oh, do you want me to get you a coffee? And I was like, I can get my own. She's like, why do you always do this? Do you know what I mean? It's not the stinginess that's a problem. It's your perception of it. And if you call somebody else stingy, you're judging the way that they are acting with money. You need to think more about yourself babe yeah because the situation with that first question that you asked you know

is it okay to change the thing last minute is an organizational thing yeah it's annoying it's not that they're stingy it's that they've told you something last minute yes which is a whole different thing yeah that is very true and the i get with 33 but she totally could have spent the 100 and catered it better 100 is a lot of money 100 is a lot of money also it's actually not that much food at the supermarket these days oh no i spent that on literally one bag of groceries He's nearly died. I'm so done. Yeah, seriously.

Like basic things. In my head, me popping to the supermarket is like a $30 trip, right? Totally. Like if you haven't gotten in my head, in my head. We're not saying that's reality. And the other day I was like looking at my receipt and I'd gotten like some stuff for dinner because somehow I'd eaten all my Marley spoons and actually had to go to the shops myself.

Rude. Rude. Obviously got some little treaty treats myself. Of course. Picked up some cat and dog stuff. All fine. What do you mean? It's 120 bucks.

No. There's only one bag of groceries here, sir. No. Like, is this faulty machine? It wasn't a faulty machine. Everything's just getting so expensive. So I don't know. I think this underlying idea that you're going, honestly, we're 33 and she could have easily spent $100 to cater. That's your entitlement showing. And I don't like it. Yeah. What did everybody else say though? Right. So they're probably going to be nicer than me. But we asked you a few questions. I'll get through those. Then I'll tell you what people said. First question we asked, we said, do you

think it's unreasonable for the birthday girl to tell her friends to bring food to her party. 67% said, yep, she should 100% supply more food. And 33% said, no, it's actually really normal for people to be asked to bring food, which I think is answering that initial question without the judgment. Question two, we said, if yes, and this was your friend, would you call them out on it? 34% said, yep, I would totally call them out for being stingy. Rude. 66% of you though, you're on our team. Nope, it's not my place to say anything. Question three, we said, do you think just because someone earns a good wage and is tight with their money, they should be labeled as stingy? 57% of you said, if they won't buy more than 24 sausages,

then yes. 43% of you said, no, they might be saving for something. Yeah. Yes. I think it's fair. And then we obviously said, guys, what's your two cents? So here's the first comment. The host should have asked everyone to bring a plate from the very start. Wouldn't have been an issue if that was the case. Yeah. Someone else said, you should have been really clear that it was BYO food from the outset. Someone said, in my friend circle, we would always bring a dish anyway. Some of us earn more money than others. Someone said, I hate the idea that because you earn good money, you should be paying for other people's things. I totally agree. It's totally okay to ask people to be bringing food, but kind of rude to be showing up empty handed anyway, TBH.

Jessica would never yeah I kind of agree with that yeah Jessica made the other day the best gingerbread man did you like them yeah it's like I liked the half of one I got because Jess left me with some of them obviously my husband got to the room before me and then I saw him walking down the hallway and I'm like what's that he was like it's a gingerbread and I was like that one was my one he was like but you didn't eat it yet like apparently if it's just left out it's fair game in this house. Everyone for themselves. It was a full fight. So Jesse got the top of a Christmas tree. Glad to enjoy that. I like full took it off him and I was like, this is not yours. I'll bring you some more. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Someone said, always play broke,

can't buy wine or share, but can seem to travel to Hawaii and Canada twice a year. I think that they're talking about one of their friends, which, hey, so you're saying that your friend values travel over buying wine and wants to split the cost of an Uber because you both incurred that cost. They're allowed. Yeah. Isn't that wild? Anyway, someone said, you guys could have gone somewhere

and not hosted 20 people. There were so many other options. It's true, you could have gone out. That's more expensive though. It sometimes ends up being more expensive. And I love a little at-home little shindig. A little relax. Someone said, if you can't afford it, don't suggest it in the first place.

I think it should just be the expectation that's set from the outset. Yeah, I think it's if you don't want to pay more than a certain amount, she just should have sent the message that she sent when she first organised it. Like, hey guys, I'm going to have this many sausages and some nibbles and stuff. If you want anything else, feel free to be a way. Someone said a good wage doesn't mean that they're not in debt. Debt is not visible. They could be paying for something large like medical bills

or some debt they got into when they were younger. Someone else said you don't actually know that you're making a grand assumption what if she had a pay cut or there are some personal circumstances you aren't privy to yeah i think she would work out well on the she's on the money team yeah i just want to quickly mention also i forgot about this but nibbles i literally spent 120 nibbles are so expensive yeah on a cheese platter so nibbles can be upward of a hundred dollars and making me feeling depending on like during like nibbles could be like little quiches or party pies or like something that if you have that alongside your larger meal like bulks it out yes totally i agree i've been trying

to do like cheaper things so the other night when the girls came over I didn't do a big cheese platter because they are so expensive to pull together but I did do like and I'm famous for this it's on Instagram if you want it but a baked brie because like it's quite hefty but like at the same time it's not just a brie and six million crackers around it and then having to like bulk it out I baked one brie with like a packet of phyllo pastry around it so it became like the centrepiece of what we were having. And then we had, you know, some fresh baguette and like some dip and some tomato stuff. And it was really nice still, but honestly, it was so much cheaper than going and like putting together a cheese platter. Because in my head, if I'm putting together a

cheese platter, well, I'm going to need a hard cheese, I'm going to need a soft cheese. You're going to need a prosciutto, maybe a grape. I mean, I know you don't need prosciutto. Yeah, but you know what I mean? It like adds up and all the like little things are expensive on that platter. Whereas like a beautiful little brie, and it doesn't even have to be expensive because you're going to bake it anyway. Oh, yeah. And then the phyllo, it worked out so well. It's got to be a Daffanois.

It was in our newsletter a couple of weeks ago. That's so difficult. We are not baking. I don't know what salary you've got to be able to bake your Daffanois, but, like, that's not where Jess and I live. We can't. All right, two more. One said, and I liked this one because it did make me laugh,

sounds like that person who wrote in to you guys is a Judgey McJudge Judge. I don't want a friend like that. And then they did, like, four red flag emojis. That's hilarious. And then someone else said, honestly, it's just the last-minute-ness of it all. It's so fine to ask if food can be provided. Planning needs to be requested ahead. And then they said last-minute is quite rude.

So I just agree with that. I just think give people time. Yeah, 100%. I want to make a baked brie and bring it. Joy, I can't do that in five minutes because I'm really, like, slow cook. Maybe have a fryer. I love my fryer. But no, that's so true.

I think we're all on the same page yes don't be judgy everyone has a different financial circumstance yes and if you think someone is stingy have you actually thought about what their money story could be to lead them to be like that with money also what do you I have this genuine belief sorry going back on a on a thing again you cannot tell someone something about themselves that they cannot change in 10 seconds so like I could be like oh there's something in your teeth or hey can i grab something out of your hair oh my gosh did you realize your jumpers on backwards like things that you can immediately change about yourself so you can go oh thanks v and obviously you're not going to say it in front of a group of people

you'd be like oh beck your jumpies on backwards and you go oh my god of course it is if you can't fix it in 10 seconds you should not be pointing that out to somebody else me going oh jess you're really stingy wait what that's so rude one out of ten one out of ten so let's leave it there for this week what do you reckon sing it sister have a good weekend my loves and we will see you bright and early for another money diary on monday bye guys bye the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy

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