She's On The Money - We Escaped With a Backpack. Now I’m Building a Home for My Kids.

Episode Date: September 13, 2026

Growing up, this week’s Money Diarist knew there was no money. She’s a First Nations woman who grew up surrounded by domestic violence, gambling, alcoholism and financial hardship. At nine, she escaped with her mum and brother, quite literally leaving with a backpack and hiding until it was safe to come home. She watched her mum rebuild from absolutely nothing. But while that showed her incredible resilience, it didn’t magically teach her how to manage money. She started working at 14 and spent every dollar she earned. At 19 she became pregnant, at 20 she became a mum, and by 22 she was raising her son alone and studying nursing, determined that life could look different. It wasn’t an overnight transformation. There were years of living paycheck to paycheck, impulsive spending and high-interest loans. Even when she and her now-husband both started earning more, they realised something pretty confronting: more money hadn’t actually changed their financial position. So they changed their habits instead. Now she earns just under $150,000 in nursing leadership, has completed her master’s, has gone from five debts to two in the space of a year, is preparing to build her family’s first home and has started investing for all three of her children. Because they’re small. But her children are growing up talking about investing, saving, bills and what things actually cost. Things she was never taught herself.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Natasha Bamblit. I'm a proud First Nations woman, and I'm here to acknowledge country. T. Glyniananya. Nianakakakya. Nianakai, you've been aakuramja, Duma, Duma'uika, Duma'a, Ithawakken, Nitaamun, Amalan. Mewaangada, bama in a yankaramaka, Y'am Jha, Wutanana.

Hello, beautiful friends. We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge, and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. take pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see. She's On the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive. Oh, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories

for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one of our money diaries brought to you by our friends at SkyWealth, where I get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of the first. our incredible She's on the Money community members and talking to them all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because this week I got a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, She's on the Money. I'm a First Nations woman who grew up with domestic violence, financial hardship and a very clear understanding that we were poor. That followed me into adulthood. I made some difficult money choices, financially supported the wrong person, became a mum at 20 and

later found myself raising my child alone. There were times I was living so close to payday that I'd sneak a nappy home from work because I couldn't afford another packet. I'm now married with three children, have completed a degree and returned for my master's, worked my way into leadership and now earn a strong six-figure income. After finding she's on the money, I'm clearing my debt, changing my habits and beginning the journey towards buying our first home. Money diarist, Are you kidding? No. Are you for real?

That's so exciting. It sounds really good when you say it altogether like that. Yeah. Do you know why? Because it is really good. Thank you. Like, what do you mean? And like so many of our First Nations friends in our community really struggle with

changing that generational like poverty. Like going through having domestic violence in the family, having financial hardship. It is so easy to just replicate. again and again, it becomes generational. You've broken it. You've changed it. Thank you. That is so cool. All right, let's learn a little bit more about you. Before I dive into my favorite question, I need to ask, Money, Dyerast, what grade would you give your money habits from A through to F if I asked you to give them a grade? I'd say around a C minus still. All right, all right. Let's learn more

about it. Let's dive in. Money, Darris, can you tell me a little bit more about your money story? Yeah, well, growing up, it was my mum, my dad, my brother and I, and we were surrounded by a lot of domestic violence, financial hardship, and we knew that we had no money. It wasn't a secret. And we knew that times were tough. And when we did get something that was of value, it wasn't really in a traditional way either. We did escape that situation. My mum, my brother and I, when I was around nine, and so I had to watch. my mum rebuild from nothing. And I watched her go back to uni as an adult and become a nurse and meet my stepfather who has supported us from around age 12 onwards. Stop it. Mom sounds like a powerhouse. Absolutely. She's definitely the strongest woman I know. Oh. And like to leave with like kids, that's crazy. Like I'm not saying it's crazy to do. Like it's just so hard to do and knowing that you're not going to land on your feet and you're going to have to go back to school. She did it anyway. I hope that we can get her money diary one day. Yeah, I should tell her. Oh, you hook us up

because I just think that would be so special. Like, what an icon that's already been through it. Tell me a bit more. So you got a stepdad who started supporting the family from about age 12. Yeah. So he also was not wealthy or anything, but he helped mum. He actually had a financial background in his work role. So he was able to help mum kind of make better habits as well that set us up for the future as a family. We still didn't make a lot of money as a family or live wealthy. We knew that everything was tight and what we did have was a real blessing, but we weren't sort of living paycheck to paycheck or going without anymore. Yeah, that's so nice to hear that it pivoted while you were still kind of a child. What did that look like? So in terms of you going, Victoria, we knew we didn't

have money. Was that because that was the conversation? Was that because you were like, look, it was obvious? Like, what did that actually look like to you as a child? I think being in a home that's surrounded with DV, there was a lot of alcoholism and gambling addiction. It wasn't hidden behind a closed door. The DV, like we experienced it and witnessed it. So you knew when there were arguments about money or, and we knew that my mum would have to hide money in order to buy food for us and stuff. Like it wasn't a safe environment. And when we, when we did escape, we didn't like have a normal traditional mum and dad are separating kind of situation. Unfortunately, my dad actually went to jail for an extended time period. So that gave my mum an opportunity to escape safely.

There was still the whole, you know, TV, Hollywood version where we literally left with a backpack in the middle of the night and hid for a little while until his sentencing date. But once that date occurred, we were able to come back. But coming back, my mom had no job. She had no money. And so we ended up moving into my aunt's house where she kind of supported us or helped us with housing while my mom got her like rebuilt some nothing again. And eventually we got our own rental. And that's when we then met my stepdad and everything. So it got better as we got older. But yeah, we were a part of that. It wasn't something that was hidden away from us. There was no kind of, there was no real realistic way that you could not observe that. Yeah. Yeah. And I ask and I'm really grateful that you're

being so open with the conversation because I think that it's something that unfortunately a lot of people can resonate with, but you're being very generous with sharing so much. So I'm grateful for that. But when that happened, where was your mind at as a child? Were you kind of like, yes, I know we me to get out of this circumstance or were you like, oh no, I don't know what's going to go on. Like our life is in turmoil because like, he just doesn't get it in the same way that an adult does. Like you try and you can see what's going on, but that doesn't mean you comprehend it. Yeah, it's, it's, I mean, it's not funny, but it's, you know, you, what's the, you rhetorically say, oh, well, it's funny stories. But I actually remember and I talk to my mom about this a lot as

an adult that I came to her and I was like, why can't we just go? And mum said, that's what gave her the strength to be like, yeah, okay, let's do it. Oh, my heart. You were like, um, this just doesn't make sense, mum. You don't seem to be having a very good time. Yeah. And yeah, and that's what I mean by like, we were observing it. It wasn't like, oh, mom and dad are in the room arguing like the whole house felt it and walked on eggshells and yeah. Yeah, wow. And has that really shaped how you've looked for relationships and brought up your children? I think so. I mean, of course I am a lot more observant of people's characters than I think other women would be, or women and men, I guess, because I've seen red flags, but there's so many different variations of a red flag in a person

that it doesn't have to be physical abuse or control and coercion to be not a safe space. Yeah, absolutely. You are not wrong there. So tell me about you've got to, out, right? And I feel like, I want to say lucky because none of this is lucky, but like, in my head, I'm like, how good is it that your dad ended up incarcerated and probably gave your mom the permission to be a bit more free in the decisions she was making? Because if you're saying, Victoria, we left and hid for a while, and that's telling me you are not safe at all, but then knowing that that person that was the unsafe person was not able to access you, probably gave her the freedom to make decisions that she otherwise couldn't have. Absolutely. We talk about

it a lot. My mum and I are very close. She's my best friend and we actually sort of say the what if all the time. Like, oh, what would our lives be like if that never happened? Because she genuinely doesn't know how we would have eventually got out. So it really was like a blessing in disguise. Yeah, the ducks really were in a row for you guys, which is like, again, not luck. Like you make those things happen. But I'm just, I'm so grateful for it. So tell me a little bit more about becoming an adult. So we mentioned your new stepdad at 12. What were your teenage years like? Did you get a first job? Did you start earning money? Yeah. So I started working from like 14 and I've never not had a job. But even though I was in an environment where I could witness how that financial abuse and hardship impacted someone, I went on the other

side of that, which I guess feeds into that cycle. As soon as I got money, I was kind of like, about money, I'm going to spend it. And so I never implemented any good habits from the get-go. And I was a lot of trying to keep up with my friends. Like if we were all going out on a weekend and going shopping or to the movies, the money that I earned was how I could tag along. Like my parents weren't able to give me a pocket money allowance to go and join them. So as soon as I got my little 14 year old job, that money was spent like that same week. So it started very young of going paycheck to paycheck. And then as I increased my expenses, it continued to do that. So I got my first full-time job and I wasn't like, now I can save. I was like, now I can move out. I can afford a rental.

Yeah. And it's not lifestyle creep at that point, I don't think. Because in my head, lifestyle creep is going from, you know, buying a cheap mascara to the more expensive one and you kind of slip into more expensive habits. But I think it's just the viewpoint of what finance actually look like because you wouldn't have ever been taught, hey, money, Darius, this is sating, this is investing, like, you know, these are your buckets, this is how money works. You would just like, great, more money means more things I can pick, right? Yes. And my understanding of money growing up was like money is for the bills. So I was like, well, I can afford this phone and this car loan and whatever else bill because I have money now. But there was no like, but how do you protect that money?

How do you put away for the future and the bad rainy days? It was just like, no, I can extend my paycheck to paycheck allowance now. So I could afford more. Yeah, 100%. It was like, especially if you don't grow up with a level of financial literacy. Yes, absolutely. Especially in a second like the one that your mum went through. Like, you saw that when money came in, she made a plan for it. She made a plan for it to go out. And I think it's interesting because so many people go, well, why didn't they just start saving?

Can I guess that you didn't know that you were even meant to? Absolutely. There was also nothing left over to save. Like, we grew up on laybys. So whenever we did get something that was of a high value, it was because mom paid it off for weeks and weeks and she knew the shoppers because she'd be there every fortnight on payday making her minimum repayment kind of thing. And so there was no, yeah, you put money away. It was always let's make ends meet and then whatever's left would get us what we need for the

future. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that if we look at it through that lens as well, your mom was probably really good with money. Because like you're saying, look, if we made a decision to get a lay by, she was there every payday making that happen. Like she had her bills. She knew what was coming up. Like she didn't have her head in the sand. She just didn't have enough and didn't have the level of financial literacy she deserved to go, well, actually, this is what a really good clan looks like.

This is what we should be working towards. Yes. Yeah. And it wasn't until we met my stepdad. He just happened to own his own home. And he had a mortgage, obviously. So when we moved in with him, that was mum's first experience. a mortgage. So I still didn't see what it was like for somebody to have to go through a mortgage

process. We just moved into one. There was no like conversations about, oh, we're saving for a house deposit and for me to be like, what's that? It was just, you live in this house now. Okay. And he owns it. And you go, okay, that's different because last time I lived in a house, somebody else owned it. So this makes sense. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that's, it's not a bad thing, but so many times this is why people in your circumstances will carry the story of I'm just bad with money or, you know, everyone in my family is bad with money or, you know, that's just not what happens because that's your genuine lived experience. Because if it's not been role model to you, why on earth would you be able to do it? Yes, absolutely. A lot of

what I've learned about money has been in the last couple of years, not even years, more like 12 months. Well, I love that. So tell me a bit more about becoming an adult. So we'll be really, we with your stepdad, he owned the house, like you didn't really get an experience of, you know, stating for your first home and that role-modeled. Did you move out at 18? Pretty much. So I was always a worker. I'd always had a job. But like I said, I immediately would be like, how do I extend my expenses to fulfill this entire check? So as soon as I was able to get a full-time wage, I moved out. And I had a boyfriend at the time who I obviously wanted to live with me.

And I was really naive and I was like, oh, we're going to get married. And if we ever want to own a house like my parents do now, we need good debt, not bad debt. So I supported him. And I would be like, oh, your car payment that you can't afford, I'll pay it. Yeah, because in your head, repayments mean good credit history and good credit history means you'll be given more credit. Yes, yeah. I definitely, I mean, it's hindsight or.

whatever. It's in the past I've moved on, but he definitely took advantage of that. There was a lot of situation where I, yeah, I look back and I think, why did I pay for him to live or live with me? And I paid his bills and I had this full-time wage and I had nothing to show for it. Yeah, because he saw that you would do that and maybe didn't mention that you should be putting yourself first. Yeah, no, definitely not. No, no. He was like, great. So you've got another hundred dollars, I guess you could give that to me. That is exactly how it happened. Yeah. Yeah. And you would go, oh, yeah, you're right. And I think it's just stupid. You know what? It's not stupid though. And that's so important to point out so many of us look back

in our money story and you go, I was so dumb. But how were you meant to know things that you had been taught? Like, I'm pretty sure if I sat you down on that day that that happened. And I said, babe, what's your times tables? You probably could have told me because, you had been taught those at school. If I'd split you down and said, hey, what's the power of compound interest? You'd be like, what? And that's fine because you had never been taught, but we can't look back on money decisions that we made that had no education in making and go, well, that's because I was stupid. Well, no, you're a smart thing. You just didn't have the tools and resources available to you. And I think so many of us are so hard on ourselves.

when if your friend was in that situation, what would you tell them? You wouldn't go, yeah, you're a bit dumb. That's not how we talk to our friends, is that? I know, we're so much harsher on ourselves. And it makes for such a worst journey. Like, you just probably hang it on yourself and go, oh, I'm an idiot. Like, I can't do this and I can't do that. That doesn't help anything.

But also, that narrative is not true. Anyway, I just, I get quite passionate about that. So tell me you got out of that relationship? Yeah, so he's actually the father of my eldest boy. So we got pregnant at 19 and 20. And by the age of 22, I kind of came to my senses and was like, I want more than this. I actually remember sitting in the car and thinking to myself, is this as good as it going to get?

Because I knew that we were living paycheck to paycheck and we had a child. and I had, you know, nothing to show for it. And it was when I found out I was pregnant that I was like, I'm going to go to uni and study and try and have like a bit of a more successful career for my kid. And that's kind of what snowballed into like where I am today. Still plagued with lots of bad financial choices, but that was a moment where I was like, yeah, I can do better than this.

Yeah, I love that. And so you left and what happened? I went to uni. It was, I do nursing, so there was a lot of placements and I was really fortunate to be supported through my mum to help with babysitting so I could do that. Yeah, because mum's an icon. We already established this. Yeah, I followed in her footsteps because she's also a nurse. So the shift work helped accommodate me doing shift work where we could tag team with my youngest. That's so sweet. Yeah, so I had to go a little bit slower. I couldn't. do it at the full time four courses a semester like other people, but I would use the third trimester to try and catch up and not have it extending too long. And throughout my degree is when I met my now husband. And although we are in a better position now, I still had all of those bad habits

of being like paycheck to paycheck and that eventually escalated because to study I had to give up my job. Not immediately, but by the time I was ready to graduate, we were making like $700 a fortnight out of the two of us and had, we'd had another child together. So now we had two kids and we had to move back in with my parents to make ends meet. But as soon as I graduated, like, I thought that would be, oh, it's okay now. Like, we're going to be fine now. But I still had all those terrible habits that I couldn't let go off. Yeah, and it makes sense because you were comfortable with them. Like, you knew them, like you knew how you spent, like change sucks.

But at what point did you go, something has to give? Like something has to change. This isn't working. That was probably about two years ago now, which is when I first started to pay attention to money, although we'd always been paycheck to paycheck and having children, And I just, I don't know whether I was delusional and thinking, well, you can't have everything. I think, I think it's your podcast that says you can have everything just not at once. I do say that.

Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that's definitely us because we've got these children. So now we have to pay these exorbitant daycare fees, but it's not forever. So I kind of justified never having money, which not in a negative way because it did make sense. Like it was the reality. but I was always like, it'll get better soon. But it had to take a bit of learning and habits to really turn that around because I was your typical millennial that's consumed by all of the stupid kitchen gadgets

and needing like everything that Kmart has and all the online shopping. Like I definitely fell into that trap, very impulsive at purchases. So it really took a minute to kind of calm down and go like, let's kind of reevaluate where we are. and that teed up really well with when I found she's on the money to continue doing that. I'm so glad you found us, but also, low-key, Kmart and kitchen gadgets, they're really fun. So, like, I know. Like, I'm not here saying, that's not cool.

Don't do that. Like, I get it. It's really cool. I love a kitchen gadget. But also, we have to make decisions that help future us, and we need to find the balance. And that's why I say, look, Queens, you can have everything. We just can't have it all at once. Like we go through different chapters and we go through different seasons of life.

And like at the moment, the daycare season, I get it. I really do. Oh my goodness. Why is it so expensive but just also consistently chaos? I was saying to my husband, okay, it's expensive. But do you know what the cherry on the top of that is? Is the fact that every time I pick my kid up from daycare, he's like the most feral version of himself. so it's costing more for a worse outcome.

Like, obviously, I adore daycare. Don't get me wrong. Like, I don't want people thinking I don't like it. I really like it. My son adores it. But if you haven't had a toddler that you've picked up from daycare and then brought home and they're a screaming mess, I don't know what you're doing. Like, send me your tips.

Very true. So tell me, now what do you do for work and how much money do you earn? So I'm a nurse. I've stepped into a leadership management. role. And with my master's, I went back to uni and did my master's. I get like a qualification additional wage. So I make just under 150,000 a year now. What? That's crazy cool. Yeah. That was another reason why I was kind of like, we really need to evaluate what we're doing because I've never earned this much money in my life. But I've also never had good money habits and I don't want to

ruin that. Yeah, and it really does slip through your fingers. I think that a lot of the time people give themselves the same narrative that you've just explained where it's like, oh, when I earn more, or, you know, when I'm not paying daycare fees or when I'm not X, Y, Z, like, then I'll be good at money. But that actually never comes. And it's the lamest quote in the entire world, I promise. But everyone's seen it online. I've said it a million times. If you can't manage $10, there's absolutely no way you could manage $10,000. And I think a lot of the time people go, yeah, whatever. Like, I'm not going to make a plan for $10. And I go, yeah, I get it. It sounds a bit lame. But if you don't do that, you're actually putting yourself in a bad position because what happens when you get $10,000? Like, if you can't make a plan for

$10 and then I give you 10 grand, I promise you're going to do what old me used to do. And that's gone. Like, I've already made a plan for it. And it's not a productive one. It's probably a bit of a holiday, maybe some shoes. Like, nothing good, I promise you. Yeah, that's actually exactly what happened to us. So it was two years ago we moved because I got this new job that was going to give us a really nice pay rise. Coincidentally, the job my husband moved into also gave him a pay rise, but we still didn't do anything positive for that first 12 months. And then after that 12 months, so we'd been in these new roles for a year, we kind of were like, we need to sort something out. So that's what we've been doing for the last 12 months.

And I think that that can be a bit confronting as well. Like I'm assuming you got 12 months in and you and your husband were like, hey, so we're in exactly the same position. We weren't more, but we have the same amount that we always had. Like, is that what happened? Absolutely. Yep. And it's rude, isn't it? I don't like that at all. I know. And it makes me feel guilty because then I reflect on, I continued all these bad habits. Oh, I understand that narrative, but I would argue with you that there's no point feeling bad about it because you don't know what you don't know. Yes, yeah. If you knew better and you weren't doing better at that point, I'd be like, okay, yeah, you're right.

That probably wasn't ideal and that was a quote, bad habit. But like, can it be a bad habit if you didn't know that it was even bad? Yeah, yeah, true. Like, it can't be. Anyway, tell me, what are your big money goals? What are you currently working towards? So we're hoping to build. We've signed all our contracts. Oh my God, really already? Yes, yes. But I'm nervous because I don't really understand it. But like the money people say it's normal because our land is not ready to build on until next year. But we've got to sign all the contracts now. And they said, but your pre-approval will lapse. You'll have to redo it. And I was like, okay, I'm happy to do that. We've obviously been pre-approved in order to sign the contracts.

but now we've technically signed all these contracts, but we don't have any money to pay it because the bank's got to go through that whole process again. And they're like, no, that's normal. And I'm like, that's really scary. Yeah, it can be normal. But I think that I would be asking my broker a few more questions about like, well, why is that normal? Why does the bank do that so that you fully feel educated in that space? Because at 3am, when you're thinking, I've just made the biggest financial decision of my life

and I'm not entirely sure why people are making decisions like this, that can be a bit negative. So like make sure you go back to your broker with really clear specific questions and go, hey, what does this mean? And you know, tell me why my pre-approval won't last. I'm pretty sure they're going to tell you your pre-approval won't last because you only get pre-approved for about three months or 90 days at a time. And if the loan doesn't settle, you have to redo it.

But I want that to come from, I guess, your horse's mouth so that you go, okay, I'm comfortable with that and I know what that means. Yes, yeah. I think I only get nervous, though, because having, you know, 20 years of adulthood of never having money, I'm always thinking like, oh, well, anything could happen and we could be back in that position. Well, totally. And that's why it's so important to look at your money goals, look at what you're trying to achieve and actually create a plan to make sure that's sustainable. So is that something you've been looking at? Have you been doing like a budget and a cash flow? Yes. It's funnily enough, even though I've always been either paycheck to paycheck or not earning enough, I love an Excel budget sheet and I love doing the

numbers. I've always struggled to follow through because of my impulsiveness and bad habits though. Yeah, I totally get it and I am such a spreadsheet, girlie. Have you done my money master class by chance? I haven't, no, I did look at the template and I kind of blended the template that I already use with yours because I was like, oh, I've already put all this effort into creating this template. So I was like, I don't want to start from scratch. Well, I'm going to send you my Money Masterclass so that you can kind of start from scratch because it sounds like you've been using the free budget on our website, which is amazing. But the Money Masterclass has a budget and a cash flow spreadsheet.

So basically, I know that you don't want to start again, but in my spreadsheet, if you put in all of the money that you earn and what you're spending money on, it will literally spit out, okay, this is how much goes into your emergency fund. This is how much goes into your fund to make sure that your Red Joe is covered. This is how much you spend on food, fuel and fun. And this goes here to make a money system that is actually going to mean that you will not go backwards. Yeah, that sounds like what I think then. Yeah, I feel like sometimes, Budgeting is all well and good, but if it just entered into a spreadsheet and then saved on your desktop and it's not actually being implemented through your automations or your actual bank accounts,

it's not going to have the power that it needs to have. And that can be really confronting because I'm sure your spreadsheet is gorgeous, but it doesn't matter what it looks like. It needs to be followed through in your everyday life. And that to me has always been the hard part, which is why I made an automated system. Like, because I was like, if this isn't automated, like, I'm not going to lie, I won't do it. Yeah. Yeah. All right, money, Darius, let's go to a really quick break, because on the flip side, I want to get your thoughts on investing. I want to talk about how much this land has cost you. We're going to talk about personal insurances and your best and worst money habits. So don't go anywhere. All right, money Darius, we are back. Tell me about

your superannuation. You're a nurse. Is that tracking well? I hope so. I've looked on chat GPT after listening to other money diarist where they talk about what's an appropriate amount for their age. Mine's sitting at 59,700. Oh, that's good, Queen. I think it's because my job automatically adds money, which I didn't realize. Nice. So ChatGPT said that's okay for my age, so I was like, I won't add anything to it additionally other than what works already doing. Yes, yes, fair. And then investing outside of superannuation is that's something. something you've thought about or have you just been channeling literally every dollar into this land purchase? A little bit of both. So I obviously through listening to the podcast, I was like,

what's investing? How do I get on top of that? And I'll be honest, I haven't actually put in enough research to understand it. I have started a sharesies, but I still really don't know what I'm doing. I'm just like, yeah, here we go, throw the money in there. I've only been doing it since the start of April maybe and there's about $200. I just do $40 a fortnight. Yeah, so it's just slowly building up. Yes. And one thing I am proud of is after listening to the podcast, I've started that shares his kids accounts for my kids. So I've got three kids and obviously the youngest gets less than the oldest because I feel bad about the fact that they're not going to be equal. That's okay. But sorry, did you just tell me that as somebody who grew up in a domestic violence

situation. Your mom escaped that. You're now investing for your children's future. Yeah. It's funny. My stepdad said the same thing when I told him. He was a bit like, oh, oh my God, are you really? I was like, yeah, so I need like $10, but. Sorry, it's not just $10. It is not. It's the habit. It's starting to contribute to their future in a way that they are going to be able to talk to you about. Like, you didn't grow up with people surrounding you going, hey, here's a budget. Hey, here's money that's been invested for you for your future. This is why we invest. Investing is important because of A, B and C. Like, sorry, you're telling me that's how your kids are going to roll up. It's not actually about the dollars in the account, my queen. Like, they are going to become adults and they are

going to be able to contribute to that themselves, but they're going to know to do that from the get-go. Imagine if you were 18 and someone had set you up with this and you were like, nope, that's just how money works. Yeah, we're very, that's one thing I think growing up, struggling. with money, I guess. We're very transparent in our household of like, it's sometimes, actually sometimes it's not a good thing because every payday my kids will be like, hey, it's your payday this week. Where's the dollars? They're thinking, is it our payday? I'm like, no, no, that's my payday. But they're on top of it. They'll be like, do we get any pocket money? Like, can I do any chores? And I'm always like transparent in like, if you want to talk money, then let's talk. This is how much our

current rent is. This is how much this phone costs. Like, to, let them at least understand that just because we get paid doesn't mean suddenly we're rich for the week. But that's so powerful. And I think so many times, especially as women, we look at it and we go, I'm investing for my kids, but it's not much. And it's honestly not about the amount that you're investing. In fact, there have been times where I've done financial advice in the past and told people, hey, you actually need to stop contributing as much as you're contributing to your kids, because as much as we love them and we want them to thrive, you cannot pour from an empty cup. And it's actually going to be more financially beneficial for you to financially look after

yourself and create your own really big emergency fund and create your own investment portfolio and just teach them the habits and the consistency so that they can be successful individually. And I think that we just go, oh, because there's not thousands in there. It's kind of not worth it. But that's not the case at all. Like, that's not why you listen to the She's on the Money podcast. You don't listen to the She's on the Money podcast because you immediately have thousands, do you?

It's about setting up the habits and creating the life that you deserve from scratch. Yeah, definitely. And we now, obviously, only within the last few months, we'll talk to them if they get birthday money and stuff. We'll automatically say, well, how much is going in your investment? And they'll obviously be like, oh, do I have to? Like, I really wanted to buy X, Y, and Z. And I'll be like, you need to do 20%.

Like, let's talk about it. Yeah, that's so cool. I am obsessed. They're going to be like, and you know what? Like, even if like 16 year old you was sat down and told about compounding interest, I think you would have been like, no, that's not for me. Because like, also I can go to the movies. Because that would have been me.

Tell me about debt. You have just talked about purchasing. some land and it's not going to title till next year. But how much have you purchased it for? What does that look like? Yeah. So we've definitely missed the boat on like nice house and land opportunities. And we've made peace with that because I really felt like we were being ripped off of an opportunity. My pretty much everybody I know bought around like 2018, 2019, 2020 or we're building, sorry. And they all did it for about five. 500k or less for the land in our build, we're looking at 870 and we're getting like basically

the same thing that everybody did six years ago. So I get a little bit annoyed, but I'm like, that's not anybody else's fault. Like, it's just the way it is. And it's also not their journey. So like, yes, you can see what they have purchased their home for, but you're the one that is putting investments in your kids' names. You're the one that has. has an idea of what your superannuation looks like. You've even been chat GPTing it and looking at what that means for your future. Just because they got a cheaper house than you doesn't mean that they are more financially secure than you will become retirement. I think that there's a misconception that everybody who bought way back in 2018, 2019 is going to be so much more financially secure.

I mean, they could be if they were investing, if they were looking at their superannuation, if they had a good budget and cash flow system, I'm sure they could be. But that's unfortunately not the reality of it. A lot of people in that position go, yeah, we got our house a bit cheaper. So we spend all the rest of the money that other people have to spend on holidays and stuff. Yes, absolutely. And it's always the like shock reaction from other people who are like, oh, you're paying that much. And I'm like, that is like we are actually trying to not spend that much.

That's just the reality of what it cost. but it's their shock reaction that bothers me. Oh, totally. But that is just their experience being compared to your experience and in a completely different economy. Like, pre-COVID, sorry, if I could go back in time and purchase pre-COVID, my queen, I would. I didn't have that opportunity available to me.

We ended up purchasing during COVID, which, you know, financially was a good decision for us. but there are so many things that if I could go back in time, you know what I'd buy? So much cryptocurrency. Like can you imagine if I just put $100 into cryptocurrency back in 2015? I'd be like rich, rich. Yeah, so true. But we've all got regrets. I think it's just so important to always take other people's comments with a grain of salt. Yes. Because you could be like, oh, my favorite color is blue and they go, ew, I like green. Like, so what's that got to do? do with the price of fish because like unfortunately their incomes won't be paying your mortgage.

So if that's the case, they don't get to actually have an opinion. Yeah, very true. So in the bin with them. So tell me, are there any other costs that aren't included in that figure? That should be inclusive of everything that I can account for. Very cool. Do you have any other debts? Yeah. So we have from, well, if I go back 12 months ago, we actually had five loans and we, almost down to two. Stop it. Yeah, so that was part of the whole, like, reflection of we're doing terrible. We need to fix this.

Sorry, in 12 months, you've gone from five loans to two, and you've still been able to purchase a block of land, get the pre-approval for that, for, like, within the, like, high six-figure range. What? And you're thinking, oh, we're still doing so badly. Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah. I'm always my worst critic. Oh, I can be my worst critic too, so line up.

Now, tell me what are the two debts that remain and what do they look like? So we've got one debt is the car loan. It's got about 12K on it and it finishes in, I think about 14 months. And the other one is about 12K again or maybe 13 and it finishes in 24 months. it's a high interest, like one of those loans you apply online, you never meet anyone, and they just go, sounds good, the money will be in your account in a few days, and I did it to get plastic surgery. So that leads into my like impulsiveness as well.

Yeah. Okay. And when did you get that debt? 2023. Okay. And is that something that you've spoken to your mortgage broker about maybe rolling into like a different personal loan? because if it's like an online high interest personal loan and you've been approved for a mortgage,

I'm going to take a stam in the dark and assume that a bank would probably approve you for about $12,000 in a personal loan that maybe would incur less interest. I actually have never even considered it. I think because I've historically been so impulsive and like, oh, there's $300 in my bank account, each pay left over. That means I can get a new car that I'm just trying to. get rid of everything rather than like actually take the time to be smart and go, let's reconsolidate it or anything. I'm just kind of like, don't touch it because I've already

ruined so much. Let's just. No. No, that's where I would get a little bit of a, well, obviously I would never give you financial advice, but I feel like that's something you should highlight to them and say, hey, could you please look into options to refinance this to a lower interest rate? and then you pay off the same amount, which means you're not in a different situation. It saves some interest and then also probably pay it off sooner while not having someone take advantage because I feel like a lot of the time, those high interest loans, they are taking advantage of you. It was so easy to get because they were like, this is going to be money in the bank for us.

Absolutely. Yep. And it just annoys me so much because like, I don't care why you got the debt, but I care how you pay off the debt and what that looks like. because you deserve better. Yeah. My fear of touching it definitely comes from the fact that it's not like the first time I've had a high interest crappy loan.

It's like the eighth or something. Like I've so often been like, oh, I need money. Don't worry. I'll get money by the end of the night. And then I would get the money. I'm very good at paying it back. So I've never been to the point where I have to owe them. I've always paid on time.

But I would always be like, if they'll give me the money, I'll take it. Yeah, and that mentality makes so much sense, but I also now know enough about you that, girlfriend, did you think about going, and I'm not trying to shame you, I promise, but did you think about going to just one of the big four banks and getting a personal loan instead? Or were you like, nah, it's too much paperwork? Honestly, it was more of, I don't want to be told no and not knowing better to have a proper smart conversation. It was just like, who online, and they're not dodgy, but the business process is in that they're like, you got money, here you go. So it was definitely like a, honestly, it come from like a place of shame as well.

Like it's like something going through the process, I felt shame doing because I knew it was so dumb, but I was like, this is how we make ends meet and this is how I'll impulsively get X, Y and Z. Totally. And I get the shame thing because like I remember that was the situation I was in. You've probably heard my story. I got myself into more than $40,000 worth of personal debt. And I'm not saying that that was okay because it wasn't.

But like when I was paying that off, I remember Googling like interest free loans and, you know, like loan consolidations and stuff like that. And then not wanting to reach out because I didn't want the person to be like, oh my God, that's such a dumb loan. How did you do that? And then me having to tell them, oh, it wasn't even on anything good.

Like my situation wasn't such that I was trying to put food on the table. Like mine was absolutely discretionary spending and that made me feel really guilty. But I didn't want to sit down with someone and have them go, oh, why'd you get this loan? Like, I promise any good broker would never ask. Like, and I want to know because I'm pervy. Like, not because I'm judging you. Like you said plastic surgery and I was immediately like, what'd you get done was a good.

Like that's where my brain went as opposed to, oh, I can't believe you'd do that. So get someone who's on your team because it is costing you so much more money to have that loan as opposed to one that would might be a little bit of an uncomfortable conversation at the start, but I promise like it wouldn't be. Like it's our job. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm definitely going to do that.

So tell me a little bit more about personal insurances. Is that something that you've ever looked into and set up? I started the process again because of what I've learned through the podcast. and I booked a call, but I didn't get the opportunity to answer it, and I just went, oh, I'll have to call them back, and I haven't done it yet. But I've only got my super insurance. And have you had a look at that? What does that look like?

I have looked at it. I think it's like $370,000 for the total permanent disability or death, but you have to wait the three months for your income insurance, like all of them, I guess. Yeah, that's pretty standard. I would take a stab in the dark and again, not advice, but given you've told me you have three children, I don't think 300-ish grand is going to be enough if something was to happen to you. But that's why you have to pick up the phone. And that's okay. But like you already said, I need to get that in order and I'm working on it. But to me, I'm always like, please make sure

that's okay because that's the thing that's going to make sure that your kids get the life they deserve. Yes. Yeah. It's definitely in the to do basket. I just haven't got back around to it. Totally. All right. Now tell me, what do you think your best money habit is? I think it's taken time, but I've never followed a financial trend. Like when everybody was getting $80 water bottles or $150 work bags and everything like that, it was never something that I cared for. I love a dupe. And I am definitely someone, they'll be like, oh, that's really nice. Where did you get it from? And I'm like, oh my God, Amazon or Timo. Like, I immediately will be be like, yeah, it's on Sheehan, like, and show people immediately how to use it to also find the same

bargain. Oh, I love that. I mean, I don't love Timu and Sheen, so I'll just pretend I haven't heard that, but I do love an Amazon moment. And I feel like I'm a resourceful queen with, like, Ali Express. Like, if something is for sale, like, I found a baby monitor the other day, and I was like, I swear, this looks like an Ali Express thing. And I googled it and found the link and purchased it and it is identical to the like real version cost me like $100 and you're a mum so you'll get this but I got two cameras and one like monitor of what other people are paying like close to $500 for and when I started looking further into it turns out the quote legit company here in Australia is just drop shipping the Ali Express one with their label on it. Yes that it's actually

something I love to do as soon as I see something I want. I'll screenshot it in Google, image, reverse, search, whatever it's called to find it on the cheat website first. Yeah, and it annoys me so much because I'm like, hold on. So many people are being taking advantage of here because that's not what happens. Like, don't get me wrong, happy to pay for quality. If I look something up and I'm like, oh, that's legit. Like, you're not going to get a Dyson hair dryer on Ali Express, you know? No, yeah. But when I look at some, something and I go, hold on, you aren't being fully transparent here. You have found something on Ali Express and now you're wholesaling it and selling it as your own. To me, that doesn't feel right.

Yeah. My current, obviously with building a house, even though it's not going to be ready for like over 12 months, I'm looking at furniture. And so I'm doing a lot of screenshoting of the furniture and finding the exact same item. It's the exact same image that they use as well and seeing the mark up. Isn't it crazy? One of my friends actually purchased a whole heap of furniture on AliExpress through a wholesaler and it came a couple of months ago. It is phenomenal. I mean, you obviously have to approach all of those things with caution because like obviously some things are definitely not what they seem. But she did all her research. She had all of these reviews. She'd been talking to this person for ages, then did a bulk order. And I think it cost her like $5,000, which is a lot of

money, but she got like $30,000 worth of furniture. Yes. Yeah, love that. Crazy. Let's flip the narrative, though. What's your worst money habit? I think my worst money habit would be that I'm still very impulsive. So although there's, you know, I can easily bypass whatever's trending, if there's something else that I've determined, I need that, I can't actually not think about it. So for example, with moving and building, even though it is a fair while away, I can't. can't stop thinking about it. And I'll go and like lay by towels for the new house. That doesn't even exist yet. It's still a patch of dirt. But that's exciting. And I mean, if you make a big spreadsheet of everything that you're purchasing and need to purchase, like we might be getting a really good

deal, but the impulsive side of it probably not ideal. Yes. It's the impulsiveness and the need to do it straight away. Yeah. Is there something that you've been trying to implement to combat that? Like, have you been like, look, I've been really trying? Or are you like, no, just still buy the towels? A bit of both. I have actually, funny, I did make a spreadsheet of everything that I've looked at and would like. And I've kind of gone, what am I looking at that I can't stop thinking about? And I've kind of highlighted those to be like, okay, well, let's just get those by the end of the year.

And the other part, I won't even look at it. Yeah, so fair, so fair. Try and take it off my mind. Yeah, no, I get that. All right. I want to reflect on everything you've just. told me. Like, we started your money story and it started with, I'm a First Nations woman who grew up in a family violence situation, your mom, your brother and you got out of that situation started

from scratch. You're now earning 150 grand plus. Like, you've got these epic money goals. You've just like purchased a block of land. You're investing for your kids. You're smashing down your debt. Like, you've already made the call to get personal interiors yet. You sound a little bit like and that we sometimes need to pick up our phone when it calls, but like that's not the worst thing ever. But you gave this person that we just had a really beautiful conversation about a C-minus. Do you feel like that's reflective?

Maybe a B-minus. I am a really harsh person. I think as well I'm very all-or-nothing. And because I'm still so early in flipping around these habits, I feel like I'm in the midst of it. I'm right in the guts of it all. I'm not on the other end yet to sit back and reflect and be like, super proud, but I also have to realize it's a never-ending journey. Yeah, I was about to say, well,

when's that? Like, when do we actually sit down? Like, do we sit down? Is it when you're in your house and I come over for a cup of tea and you say, Victoria, I've made it? Because I can almost guarantee you go, yep, now we are trying to make sure that we cash flow these mortgage repayments for the next 30 years. And then I go, okay, cool, do I come back in 30 years? And you go, yeah, but then also we need to talk about our super. Like, I think we need to learn to enjoy the journey, because my queen, your journey has been nothing short of epic. Like, are you kidding? Now you're like investing for your kids and you've bought your dream property

and I know analysis, paralysis and comparison culture is killing you at the moment. But like, run your own race. You're doing really well. Yeah, I think I definitely need to slow down and appreciate black boy I've come from. 100%. Like, if I had started in the same position as you and had achieved exactly what you had achieved, I would be insanely proud of myself. But it sounds like, especially like just reflecting on the conversation we've just had where you said, oh yeah, heap of our friends purchased in 2018,

2019. I reckon if I lined up those friends, they have a number of privileges you didn't have. Yeah, definitely. Yet you've still achieved exactly what they achieved. Like, that is out of this world cool. Like, I just, I'm so excited because I know what that means, but I don't think you see how cool you are yet. Thanks. And that's okay. That's my job. I'm going to keep working on that money, Darris. I wish we had more time to hang out today. It has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for sharing your journey and having a really open and candid conversation with us. I just, I hope we get to keep in touch and I hope that we get to cross paths in person at some point. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

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