She's On The Money - What is Bargain Regret?

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Have you ever gotten carried away in a sale and bought way more than you budgeted for? Bargain regret is a very real and common experience! On today's show we take a look at the psychology of selling, and the things that push you to overlook your budget and buying intentions in the name of a bargain, and what you can do about it! Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kurni, Wolperi and Awadjuri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjuri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money.

She's on the money. Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, a podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Bec Syed and Victoria Devine is with us as ever. With us as ever. Like, do you mean always or is with us as ever? I mean, literally forever. We cannot get rid of her. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I mean, I'm here to stay. I'm here to stay. Sorry. No, that's actually great for me. Yeah. Well, Bec, today's deep dive is one that we have all experienced, and I can honestly say

that sadly, but we're talking about buyer's remorse. It is an oh-so-common problem that we actually hear about all the time in the community. Maybe you got carried away in the sales over Christmas. Maybe you splurged a little bit on a big item that you weren't planning on buying, but we all know that super icky feeling of regret or anxiety of buyer's remorse. Have you experience this, Bec? Yes. Oh my goodness. That is all too relatable. I think I get buyer's remorse all the time, even if I just buy one too many groceries or something. So I can definitely relate to this. It's going to be a very exciting episode. I had buyer's remorse on the weekend. What did you buy? I went to buy, this is so niche, but not niche. We have moved recently and I needed

to buy a new couch. So that was a planned purchase. Like we had budgeted for it. It all made sense. Like we went down to the shop that, you know, we planned to get the couch from, got the couch, but on the couch in the display were two white pillows and a sage green pillow that looked elite. That's how they get you. Yeah. And like, they were like those big puffy linen ones. And I was like, oh, that looks so chic.

And then, yeah. Gotta get it. Yeah. But they were like a hundred dollars each. Oh my God. So like the cushions were so expensive. But then in my head at the time, I was like, well, the couch is already really expensive. That looks really good.

like it's another $300 like sure no worries and I said oh can we have the pillows too and he was like oh yeah they've just come in they're so nice and I was like yeah yeah that's so nice like 10 out of 10 and you know then he gave us free delivery and stuff and it was really nice like a bit of a money win there but then then I was like did I need the pillows did I need the pillows and then I stayed awake at night being like this this is not who you are Victoria you don't just impulse buy cushions what have you become I kind of support that I thought it would be worse to be honest. But like $100 for a cushion? Is that where we're at in life? Personally, I've never paid $100 for anything. I'm not even sure what they're stuffed with at

this point. I just saw them and was like, 10 out of 10, I'm going to purchase that. It could have been an Ikea cushion. Facading is something more expensive and I didn't even try to understand the product before purchasing. I hope they're extremely, extremely comfortable. I'll show you later. I'll show you later. Very aesthetic. I'll let you know. I can't wait. I can't wait. That sounds like a classic case of buyer's remorse. I reckon. And remember last year, we did an episode on spending guilt and spending addiction. We did. I feel like those were super juicy,

really relatable episodes that people loved listening to. Maybe this is a natural extension of that. Maybe. On today's show, we are going to take a look at buyer's remorse and share your stories around those times that you have regretted a purchase. And hopefully, VD, you can shed some light, give us some advice. I feel like I've got a heap of advice, But in this circumstance, given I so recently experienced buyer's remorse, is this a situation where like, you know, you're getting unsolicited advice from somebody who doesn't actually know what they're talking about? Is that what actually is happening here?

Is that like when you, you know, are down the street and you see someone with a baby and then you see some other person who clearly has never had kids giving advice and people are like, what the heck? Like, why are we in this situation? Is that what people are thinking now? They're like, Victoria, you literally had buyer's remorse on the weekend and now you're trying to tell us to not get it? No, I think if anything, hypocrisy is rough.

I don't think so because I need to hear advice from someone who's experienced buyer's remorse. Yeah, and doesn't want to do it again. Doesn't want to do it again. Maybe hasn't done it again. Not yet. Not yet. Haven't had time. No.

Well, exactly right. Haven't had time since the weekend. It's not impossible. Haven't been shopping. It's not impossible for you to experience it again. No, unfortunately. I feel like you're in a good spot to give advice. I am.

Let's do it. Can you start by defining what buyer's remorse is? So buyer's remorse, from my perspective, is that icky feeling of regret or panic or anxiety that happens after you make a purchase. It could be over an expensive unplanned purchase, but it can also be over small stuff like buying your lunch when maybe you had something packed or getting a coffee when you made a news resolution to not have coffee that year. It literally could be anything. It's when you spend money and then you feel guilty and wish you hadn't spent that money. And I think that that's a really important thing to talk about because it could be on

big things or it could be on small things. I mean, mine feels like it was on really big things like cushions. Is that big? I don't know. They're big cushions. But I feel like... I think that's big. Yeah.

And I feel like sometimes buyer's remorse can be actually quite helpful because you might go, oh my gosh, I impulse purchased this big thing. I'm going to take it back. I don't actually need it. But it can also be a massive hindrance because if you're trying to budget and cash flow and treat yourself and, you know, have a very healthy budget. We don't want to be having buyer's remorse when you are actually treating yourself, even if it is in budget. Depends on the purpose.

Exactly. We need to talk about healthy boundaries of buyer's remorse today as well. Gosh, that makes so much sense, V. I guess my next question is, is there a difference between how we feel, for example, if we have been impulsive or not done our research versus if the product or service itself is not what we wanted or thought it was? Yes, absolutely, Bec. And they call that process regret or outcome regret. And those two things are actually quite different. So outcome regret is where you regret the experience from your purchase outcome. And it's usually triggered when you get that feeling that the product wasn't actually what you wanted. And it can happen when you choose one alternative over another,

like you might be in the shops and it might be a peeler and you're picking between, you know, the blue one and the gray one, and they both have different features. And then you pick the gray one it and then you regret it because you really wish you got the blue one because you just should have gone with what you knew not this fandangled new one that doesn't do what you thought it was going to do and you thought you were investing but it doesn't make sense and you genuinely feel like you've picked the wrong option even though in the moment you were like oh but I you know I did a little pros and cons list but it's just not what you thought it was gonna be and the actual utility of that item is less than what the perceived utility was and I feel like the peel is a good

example because that's one that's happened to me where I should have just bought the tiny 90 cent plastic peeler at Coles but I bought this fancy boy one and now it's like the worst thing in the entire world but it was like 15 bucks for a peeler and I'm committed to it so too relatable it just didn't meet my expectations you know on the flip side to that is what's called process regret and that's where you blame yourself for having a faulty purchase process so for example when you wish you'd put in more effort to making a purchase decision, like actually maybe going online and buying a green cushion if that's what you wanted, Victoria, or when you wish that you had made less effort to obtain the desired results. Like it just took too much time and energy and effort and it

just wasn't what you expected. So I feel like these are two different scenarios that are important for us to understand because they actually, like I mean the outcome, the feeling is similar, but they actually come from different places. Right. Okay, that makes so much sense and is all too relatable and embarrassingly so. What, you bought a peeler and a set of cushions so you didn't need two? No, I bought a peeler. You bought a peeler?

That was $3. What? $30 peeler? No, it was $3 versus $1 and I regretted it all day. Did you actually? I feel like the peeler's a thing. Like all these new fandangled peelers, like it looks bougie but then I'm just like give me the one that my mum had.

I know. I need mums. Do you do the top peel or the side peel? Which one do you go for? I don't know. What are you peeling is the question. Are you peeling an apple? Not a lot.

Are you peeling a potato? No, I hardly ever peel potatoes anymore. No. Why bother? It's 2023. I heard that the nutrients were in there and I believe we call them smashed potatoes now instead of mashed potatoes. Exactly right.

Anyway, moving on. We need to talk about regret. Okay. So what I want to know is how about when we fall out of step with our values? I talk about values all the time. So this is a really good, I guess, addition, Bec. And 100%, that is a big thing at play. And psychologically, it's actually called cognitive dissonance. So it is a feeling of psychological distress that happens when you're

at odds with your own thoughts or your own values. And often these things can happen from peer pressure. So you might, you know, I'm going to use this example and I'm sorry, Frank Green, but we're here now. Frank Green water bottles, I feel like, are a cult. They are a cult. I am in the cult. I'm not saying I'm not in the cult. Are you allowed to say that? I don't know, but I have one and it is now cult and I love it. I actually have a couple of them and I really like it. But did I need a $60 drink bottle?

Probably not because my Systema one that I got 50% off at Coles did the job. It's a vessel. Exactly. But I got influenced by TikTok and every man and his dog talking about the cup holders of the Frank Green drink bottle, which by the way, ultimate flex, my Frank Green fits in my cup holder in my car. Ooh, that is very impressive. Girl, that's the fanciest thing I can talk about today. But I got influenced. I bought a Frank Green drink bottle and then I was like, what am I doing? This is a $60 drink bottle that I absolutely didn't need. It isn't in line with

my values because I do feel like it's a waste of money. Do I like it now? Yeah, but that's not the point but that's cognitive dissonance at play where if you'd asked me personally you know not taking into consideration the peer pressure aspect or the influence aspect that happened there VD would you have spent 60 bucks on a drink bottle no I'll drink out of my free promotional one that I got five years ago a banking and finance event thanks scoop your hands up have a little sip yeah do I drink out of the tap? Absolutely. So like, was this something I needed? Probably not. Is it in line with what I believe my values are? Absolutely not. But you know what I was? Influenced. So I think that's what created that dissonance for me where I was like, oh,

we're here. And I mean, now I have two. So maybe it is now in line with my values, but my values have changed and yours can change too, Bec. You just need to be fluid about it. But I think it's important to talk about the fact that sometimes you'll make a purchase and then you'll go, that isn't me, that isn't who I am. But I actually do think it's important to break that down at the time instead of be like, oh, that's not who I am, full stop. Like, well, what led you to that purchase? What made you think that that was a good idea?

Because often if you can identify that, it stops it happening in the future or enables you to understand that maybe your values are changing or maybe something is different about the way that your past values are interacting with your current values. And I think that's important as well. So we won't go on and on about that. But I do think it's important to understand where these things come from, not just wipe them to the side and say, oh, whatever, I just won't do it again. Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense. First of all, we need to get you off TikTok, baby girl. Oh, I love TikTok. And I... She addicted. She's addicted. So after the break, we will hear community stories of buyers regret. But first, what are some triggers, V?

expensive purchases the ones that are like really spino so expensive purchases often result in both outcome regret and process regret because they involve all three cognitive dissonance elements and these three cognitive dissonance elements which was an absolute mouthful i'm glad i wrote that down are effort responsibility and commitment because beck the more expensive something is the more unlikely it is that you buy it without any thought or effort, usually. And expensive things do make you compare like alternatives and do your pros and cons lists. And that usually results in a bit of a process regret if you make the wrong decision. I mean, the peeler example makes sense here, but I mean, it wasn't a super expensive example, but let's pretend it was the couch I

purchased on the weekend. Imagine if I'd done all of my research and I had picked the couch I want, which I did and it's stunning and I really like it. And I had found it cheaper online, but by buying it online, it meant that I didn't get to sit in at first, which to me was actually really important. I didn't want to buy a couch online because if it's uncomfortable, like what are we going to do? So I saw it in person. I know it's comfortable money win, but what if I'd found it online much cheaper and then I'd purchased it and then I got it and it wasn't comfortable. That would have taken me down the process of process regret because I went, Oh my God, I did all my research and I found it the cheapest and then I hated it.

Does that make sense? And then I was really annoyed because I'd done all this research and it does look stunning, but I guess the ultimate outcome for me, and I don't know about everybody else, but it's not actually aesthetics with a couch. It's whether I can snuggle up on it and watch season two of White Lotus, you know? Oh, absolutely. Do you feel like you had both though? Aesthetics and comfort?

Por que no los dos? I mean, it hasn't been delivered yet. Studying. Free delivery means it's not going to come the next day. No. But that is okay. Beggars shan't be choosers. No, no, no, no.

you get what you get and you don't get upset. But I feel like they might also give you outcome regret as well, because you might have raised your expectations depending on the money that you paid for it or even saved for it. So, you know, another example of this is, and I'm going to use the couch as a good example here. Imagine if I was buying a $10,000 couch. Well, I did not do that, but I then found it online for $4,000. Like money win. That's a big discount. I'm so excited because this is a really good quality couch. So my expectations are up here because it's a $10,000 couch, Bec. It comes, the quality is absolutely not what I expected. But if the full value price of that couch had been four grand, maybe I would have been okay with it. But I think

it's important to understand that sometimes there's actually a disconnect, even when it might be what you paid, but also it can be the discount of it. Like you find a cute outfit online, you're like oh my gosh it's designer and it's like 70% off then it comes and you're a bit disappointed you created this unrealistic expectation in your head that it was going to be better because it was technically meant to be worth more yeah does that make sense where it might be like a white t-shirt and you're like oh my god but it's like Alexander Wang this is so fancy like I'm gonna buy this when it comes it just doesn't fit the same way a good old trusty Kmart one does you know just doesn't hit doesn't hit a right so I think it's important to talk about these things

as well because it goes both ways. Like you could spend heaps of money on it, but also there's this disconnect between people assuming that if they're getting a massive discount on something, the quality must be lit. Yes. So I think it's, yeah. And then you might feel a little bit more guilty because you're like, I got it on sale and I shopped around and like, I should love this more because it's worth heaps. And I just think that that is ridiculous as well. Now, what about impulse purchases. Yes, I do love a good impulse purchase as a diagnosed ADHD individual or what we call in our community, a neuro spicy person. Neuro spicy, I love that. I'm so good at impulse purchases. So good. This is your area of specialty. It's my area of expertise. If you want an impulse

purchase, let me know. I can make one for you. But from my experience, a few of the biggest triggers for me are social media and fear of missing out. It doesn't mean that I am actually going to miss out. I just have decided in my head that I'm probably going to miss out if I don't get this thing and other factors that hijack our usual buying process. So when I talk about that, I'm not just talking about, oh, this only impacts people with ADHD. This impacts absolutely everybody. But when you are somebody who is a bit neurodiverse, these things are usually on steroids. They're usually just jacked up a lot more. So if you're an impulse purchaser and you don't have any type of neurodivergence, think about that, but being 10 times worse if you are

on some kind of neurodivergent spectrum. So it can get completely out of control. And I think it's really important to acknowledge because neuro-spliciness comes in lots of different levels. And sometimes you got the like mango lime one. Sometimes you got the habanero chili, you know, in the bottle that has the skull on it. Completely different. Ironically, those would be big impulse buys for me. Yeah, maybe we're both neuro-spicy. Bec, are you a bit of an impulse purchaser? Is that something that you lean towards or are you a little bit more stoic in your purchase power?

I wish I was. I feel like I'm strictly impulse buy because I know... Strictly impulse buying. I like that there's some kind of rule for this, like strictly, I'm just the impulse purchaser. I don't think too much. Time, energy, research, nah, we don't do that. My theory is I like to say analysis is paralysis. Yes, but sometimes it helps you. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it would help.

But just the other day, for instance, I do want you to know I need to preface this by saying I am perpetually broke. I just got paid, bought myself a brand new Fitbit because I couldn't. You did not need a new Fitbit. I didn't need a Fitbit because I just couldn't be bothered looking for my old one is all it was. It's not that I needed one. We're going to talk about me helping you with your budget and you disrespecting that entire

process. Yeah, we do need to talk about that. We'll have a meeting a little bit later. Yeah, okay. Please don't fire me. No, you won't ever get fired. You won't ever get fired. Oh, amazing.

Not for that. Not for that. That's fine. But yes, so I guess to answer your question, unfortunately, I am only an impulse buyer because if I think too much about something, then the normal logical side will kick in and be like, hey, that's, you actually just can't afford that. Do you put any time between you and your purchases, like a couple of hours or a day? or are you just like, no, let's go?

Well, the only time that goes between me and my purchase is that brief few minutes of waiting in the self-checkout line. Oh, okay. That sounds really. It's your only time. Yeah. Look, I'm going to go with not asking you for advice on impulse spending at this point.

My advice is do it, baby girl. My advice is don't do it, baby girl. Put 24 hours between you and your purchase. I'm going to let you still have the Fitbit, but I'm going to make you leave JB Hi-Fi and come back tomorrow and get it if you're still thinking about it. And I think that a lot of the time when it comes to impulse purchasing, you actually might, I don't know if this will work for you because different things work for different people. But often if I say, no, you can't have it, Bec, let's go home and think about it. You'll be like, but I know I want it. Please let me have

it. Like I'm going to take it home today. But if I said, hey, Bec, actually, let's just put 24 hours between it. One day. One day, that's it. You can have it tomorrow. No questions asked. You're more likely to go, yeah, all right, that sounds like a good deal as opposed to, oh, Bec, you probably don't need it. I'm going to try and talk you out. I'm not going to try and talk you out of any purchase because that is not my place. It is not my place to tell you how to spend your money. My place is educating you on how to make the best decision for you. And sometimes you need a little bit of time. So let's step back to when you purchased your Fitbit. If I said to you, hey, Bec, and we were there shopping together, which we were not, I love it. I think that Fitbit's so

sick. How about we just pick it up tomorrow? Like, let's come back tomorrow. Let's just make sure that you're getting the best deal on this. Like maybe we can look it up online or maybe we can, you know, have a think about it. We might pop past Target or something, see if they've got it because you know it might be cheaper like let's have a look you're less likely to say no I still want it if the idea of still obtaining that item is on the table yeah does that make sense like if I say no I think you can have it but tomorrow how would you respond to that I feel like that would kind of help the urge to just immediately buy it right this second and I feel like I would firstly, maybe look for my old one that is almost the exact same model that works perfectly.

But also I would think I can't be bothered going back to the shops and wouldn't even end up buying it. Yeah. And I think it's important because, you know, I am an impulse purchaser. I think that is very widely known. It's why I have the banking structure that I have to, you know, disable that in a way. But then also I think this concept of, no, you can have it, but you can just get it tomorrow makes me feel like I don't have FOMO. And I think the second I say that you can't have it, you go, well, I've got FOMO now. I really want it. I want it more now. You've said I can't have it. So I think this idea of putting 24 hours between you and your spending is really, really helpful because it goes from 24 hours and then you're like, oh, I'm busy this afternoon.

Maybe I'll just pick it up on the weekend. And it just gets pushed out and pushed out. And then that sense of urgency is often lost along that journey. And then you go, oh, you know, I don't even need that, whatever. I've moved on to this next new thing that I'm thinking about. And that, that's good. Like that's a great outcome. But then if you're still obsessed with the Fitbit in 24 hours or, you know, the next weekend, get it then. It's in line with your values. Obviously you want it. As I said, it's not my position to tell you not to spend on things. I think it's just being a little bit more mindful about it. And as somebody with ADHD, being mindful is actually very hard. Being mindful is actually something that you have to consistently work on. And if

you say, oh, be more mindful with your purchases, I'll be like, oh, so should I look at the pink and the blue one? Is that what you mean? Should I consider more? Yeah. Should I consider more? What do you mean? I should just get crayons and texters, not just crayons? Okay. I think it's important that you understand what triggers you, but then also what kind of strategies work for you best. It's kind of like working with toddlers. It's kind of like that distract technique. It's like, you're not going to yell at them and be like, get off the table. You're not supposed to be on the table because they'll just be like, oh, okay, probably going to do it again. Be like, oh, should you be on the table? What are you trying to achieve here? Oh, I'm trying to pretend

I'm on a boat. Oh, well, how about we make this chair a boat? And like, it's kind of lame when you think about it, but how can you best distract yourself in a way that you don't feel like you're missing out. Because if I take that away from you immediately, we feel like we're missing out. And that's where money becomes something that you continue to stick your head in the sand about. Yeah, that is such solid advice. I will actually try that technique. I'm going to make you text me next time you want to do an impulse purchase. And I'll be like, let's get it tomorrow, Bec. And you'll be like, yeah, sick. I'll be like, I'll drive you. I'll literally drive you if you want it tomorrow. And you'll be like, yeah, sick. And then next day,

I'll be like, do you want to go get that Fitbit? And you'll be like, what? Let's hope so What Fitbit? Oh, I want to go to the pub and get a soda water because I'm back 100%, we'll do that instead Spend all our money at the pub So we've established that I have absolutely no impulse control Yeah, great

And it gets me thinking We've heard about Afterpay Have you? That's crazy I know, that's a new thing, right? No, it's not It's really taken the world by storm It gives us an instant dopamine hit We can't really afford something

It does But Afterpay comes in and saves the day 100% What are your thoughts on Afterpay? Oh, that is a bad question to ask, Bec. I have literally done entire podcasts on this. I think Afterpay, look, stepping back as business, what a genius business. That is so smart. But from the consumer perspective, as somebody who wants you to be financially empowered, I feel like it takes away a little bit of that empowerment because, as you said before, it enables us to have that

dopamine hit sooner. So you want a dress for this weekend or you want a new shirt or whatever it is, you're really excited about it. You go shopping, you're like, oh, that's lit. It's 200 bucks. But actually, if I put it on an afterpay, it's only 50 bucks right now. And I get to wear it this weekend. And we justify our purchases more readily because we don't have to part with all of that money up front. It puts a lot of time between that purchase that you make and having to repay that debt. And while that can actually be really good for some people, like I have had messages from people who are like, I can't believe that you talk about Afterpay or Buy Now Pay Later services like that. I use it for my budgeting, for my kids, for whatever else. And if that is the way

that you are using a Buy Now Pay Later service, all power to you, because that is honestly the responsible way of using it. From my perspective, that's quite intelligent of you if you are using it to budget and you're like, all right, well, you know, I've allocated myself 50 bucks a week and I really want this top. I'm actually going to be able to cash flow it. That's genius. That's not how I would use that service. That's not how most of my community use that service. That is not how most of the people I interact with use that service. They use it because it is an instant gratification tool. You can have that item or that thing right here and now, and we can worry about paying for it later. It is a reverse engineered lay-by. Lay-by historically, and I

feel like every man and his dog remembers the Target toy sale in the middle of the year. I don't know if you remember it, but like I remember. Heck yeah. Yeah. I think it was like July and you'd go down and pick out some stuff for Christmas and mum would put it on lay-by and over a period of time you'd pay it off and then you'd get to pick up your lay-by. I remember doing it for clothes as well. Like mum would be like, all right, we're going to go lay-by some clothes for next season or whatever it was. And it was a way of experiencing delayed gratification, which is actually really powerful when it comes to risk and reward. So if you have to delay gratification, you have more time, more patience, you're more likely to really value that item, you're more

likely to really want it. If you put it on lay-by, you're going, I really want this and I'm willing to wait. Bec, let's talk about your Fitbit again. If I said to you, okay, cool, we're going to go down to JB Hi-Fi or wherever you bought your Fitbit. We're going to lay by it though. So it's going to be lay by it for the next six weeks and you're going to pay a small portion off over the next six weeks every single week. Do you still want that item? Oh, I would not like that. Probably not after the six weeks. A new one would have come out. Well, yeah, but also it puts you in a situation where you actually have to consider like, is this an impulse purchase or something that I am saving up for? And it might be you genuinely going, I really need new TV. I'm so

excited about this particular model or whatever you're getting and you go down and you put it on labor and you pay it off over a period of time you're so excited to upgrade and that's that's perfect that's what that service is for but on a buy now pay later service you're more likely to go and just buy a Fitbit because that's what you wanted and then next weekend you're like oh well maybe I want an Apple Watch like my mate's got an Apple Watch and I was at the pub talking to them about that you know maybe I'll work towards that and I just think it actually instills this idea that stuff is worth less, like it's valued at less to us because it's more disposable now. And I think that that's actually not that positive. So if you are using it as a cash flow

tool, literally more power to you. I never could. I can't be trusted with it. But if you're not, I think it's important to have a look at how you might be using that service because often we will justify to ourselves that it is a smart service to use because, you know, budget and cash flow. But what are you purchasing on there? Right. What are you actually using that for? Because I'm pretty sure the statistics say that people will spend 40% more if they're putting it on buy now, pay later, as opposed to having to part with cash that's in their

bank account. I'm not super shocked by that, to be honest. No. I feel like lay-by is the way to go. Yeah, lay-by is the OG. We need to bring it back. So V, how about the entire field of study of human and behavioral psychology to manipulate us to buy stuff?

So you're manipulating yourself. Obviously, we've already covered that. That's fine. FOMO, all of those things that we use ourselves to convince ourselves that we need something. But you know who's also good at convincing us that we need stuff? Who? Marketing departments. They are so smart. It's literally why they are employed, to make people buy more stuff. Otherwise, why would we have people to market things? Like, I mean, the dude who sells Shamwows, really good at marketing. Really good.

really good at marketing. He will send you like a free set of steak knives to make the deal even sweeter. And I know that that seems a bit lame, but there's science behind it to say that that is actually going to get people across the line when it comes to purchasing. So marketers know more about your interests more often than you do, which is terrifying, especially in the digital age of 2023. My husband, saying husband's still so novel, works in this space and genuinely it terrifies me sometimes to know the patterns of behavior and how that works and what particular people are following and what you might need and being able to predict things. And sometimes it can be really helpful, you know, like for example, your targeted advertising that pops up online

when you've been looking at bikinis and, you know, another company comes up and you're like, I've never seen that, but that's actually exactly what I'm looking for. Other companies might use it. So for example, I know that banks do this. So if you have a search history of like cruise or holiday or flights, or you're looking at accommodation, they will send you targeted advertising for their traveler cards. Because obviously you fall into this niche group of people who are probably going to travel overseas and need some type of travel card. That makes sense. But they happen to know more about your future needs than you do. And I find that quite terrifying. And they use data to stimulate demand, essentially. So there are heaps of strategies,

and I studied it at uni as well, but strategies like marketing scarcity and discounts and targeted advertisements, like we've talked about it on the pod before, putting something in your cart and quote, forgetting about it. And then them sending you a discount code. It's not an accident. And while it's a money win for you, they're still getting the sale. And that's a strategy for them to get that sale. Remarketing is a really big one. You know, when you visit a certain website and then every single ad that you see for the next week is that website that you went to. That's actually a targeted strategy to send you back to that website to finish that purchase or buy more things. And they basically make you fulfill your desires by making a purchase,

which is terrifying, but really important for us to understand. And I think that it is so, so important that we know what that looks like and how it works so that when it comes up, we can be like, ah, sneaky, sneaky from them instead of, oh, you're right. I do need that thing. So I think it's just, again, about education. Right. I've always thought how very thoughtful that these ads are targeted directly to me. Thank you for just figuring out exactly what I mean. No, Bec, they want your money. I see. I see. So not thoughtful, very scary. Yeah. And bad. I don't think it's scary or bad. And I think that there's this cloud of, oh my gosh, my data's being compromised. They don't care about who Beck is. They actually

just care about the pattern and serve you things that might make sense to that business to get more money. I don't think it's as creepy as people seem to think it is, but also it's a little bit creepy, hey? Yeah, a little bit. So they're not like watching me on the toilet. No. But they just want my money. No. Great. No, that's niche, but no. So we are all social creatures. Let's talk a little bit about interpersonal influence. Interpersonal influence is a good one actually to talk about here. And interpersonal influence is basically the degree to which others influence your decisions. And I think it's very important here to point out that being independent in decision making is actually a skill that needs to sometimes be taught. Like you need to go,

oh, I need to stop asking other people for their opinions on this because I don't actually need someone else's opinion on a purchase I'm making. I just need to make sure it makes me feel like my best self, not what Beck thinks about my new top, if that makes sense. But the more susceptible you are to interpersonal influence, the more the chances are that you're actually going to suffer from post-purchase regret. So looping back, and it actually includes two different dimensions. So if we talk about informational influence, that's, for example, when you rely on your tech friend who says, oh, this laptop's pretty sick. You know, it's got this feature in this feature. And, you know, I personally have been influenced by this before where I'm like, I don't know the

first thing about laptops, but someone told me that the surfaces were good. And then I asked somebody else and they said, oh, we're good. So I made the purchase literally based on my tech friend's opinions of a certain product. But then normative influence on the flip side is how your purchase decisions are influenced just to maintain your image, which is kind of the keeping up with the Jones's side of things. And I think that that is really important because that doesn't serve you in any way, shape or form. And we've talked about it on the pod before, but I think this is a really fun stat to throw in here, Bec. And it's about the likelihood of people going broke. So there was research done a while ago in the US and they found, and we talked about it last week,

but the people most likely to go broke are the people who live next door to lotto winners. And we're not talking about like multi-million dollar lotto winners, because if that's the case, often the person who wins moves out of that suburb. We're talking not enough to move out of the suburb, but enough money to change your lifestyle, maybe put a boat in the driveway or some new cars or to always be seen in new fashion. And that is normative influence where the people around you might have elevated their expenses and therefore you try and keep up with it as well, even though that's maybe not aligned to your values or your goals or your income. Right. That is a very shocking fact, isn't it?

It's terrifying, isn't it? Like, and who would have thought, like, if I'd said to you, who's the most likely to go broke, you wouldn't have said, oh, yeah, the neighbour of someone who's just won a whole heap of money. Like, it's just not what comes into my mind. V, is that why my mouth is absolutely watering looking at your Frank Green water bottle? Yeah, of course it is, because that's normative influence. I mean, it's not the lotto winner thing. It's just a $60 drink bottle that I still can't comprehend why they're so expensive. but that's yeah normative influence because your decision making about wanting a new drink bottle

i.e my drink bottle has been based off the fact that you're seeing a really really attractive person with one how about we go to a break because after i have a whole heap more to talk about when it comes to buyer's remorse on the show and i really want to get to the community experiences what do you say yeah let's do it i need to go buy a frank green water bottle so we'll see you soon we are back and talking about buyer's remorse on the show today so v we asked the community about their experiences with buyer's remorse and what did they have to say they had a lot to say i have a select few things that i'm going to share with you because i had to whittle it down to like five or six because there were a lot a lot a lot of responses so let's start with rosie i really

like the name Rosie and she said, I rented a new apartment. I went to Kmart and went absolutely crazy on super unnecessary things. Relatable. Very relatable. Instead of moving in and seeing what I needed as time went by, I absolutely binged a bunch of stuff which I convinced myself I needed. I spent $175 on plants and I now regret that because fast forward 10 months and they are all dead because I'm not a very good plant mom. Oh no. I feel like that's super relatable. I did that oh absolutely i did that i bought a really nice monstera plant and now jess has my monstera plant at her house trying to rehabilitate it because i basically murdered it oh no yeah she said she'll give it back but i'm not sure if she will because i don't know if i can be trusted yeah

yeah but we'll get there uh georgia says buying a kindle i wanted to be a reader so bad but i'm not so i thought buying a kindle will make me read but it just sits there and it collects dust classic that's absolutely that's good i love the concept of a kindle but as somebody who only ever seldom reads like i just there's no point me having one like i get through maybe two or three books for pleasure each year and like just it's not worth the money no head on down to library i reckon yes or an audiobook might be nice kindle's good for someone who gets through heaps of books yes like that's genius really good product georgia should have maybe bought a book. Georgia maybe should have just come to the conclusion that Georgia

doesn't read and that's okay. That's okay. No judgment. All right. Katie says, I regret buying a $450 mattress rather than investing in a good one. It was the biggest waste of money. My bed sucks and now I can't justify the money because I already own a mattress. But that makes sense. Makes sense. I feel like that's an interesting concept because that's like being tight on something that you should have spent money on, but now you spent too much money on it to go and invest in something more because you've already spent $450. And like, that feels like putting it down the drain. Maybe you could buy like a nice mattress topper or something and see how you go. You can always save anything with a mattress topper.

Yeah. I reckon a good mattress topper. Really good mattress topper. 10 out of 10. See, there we go. We're saving people one DM at a time. Love that. Allie wrote in and said, definitely buying my newborn heaps of clothes as soon as they were born. They literally grow so quickly and it's like you blink and they don't fit in anything anymore. Honestly, just take all of the ugly hammy downs and call it a day. I feel like that's genius. That is very good advice. My best friend had a baby last year and I swear every time I

see him, he's like doubled in size. Like I'm convinced it's a different baby every single time. I'm obsessed with him, but I'm like, who are you this time? Because you are not the baby that I saw when you were born. Also fashion doesn't matter at that age. Fashion when you our newborn. Pop them in a potato sack. Yeah. 10 out of 10. I'm just going to wrap it in Chuck's cloths because I have a heap of those because I got a really good deal at Bunnings the other day. 10 out of 10 idea. All right. And last one I'm going to read out because I could go on about these forever is from Sam. And Sam said, letting my husband spend money on a home gym to save money on gym memberships. No explanation needed. We've only used it twice and we've owned it for four

years. Hey, but that's still okay because you're not consistently paying X amount of money every yeah but a home gym how much do you think that cost I got caught up during COVID thinking you know what I'll do I'll just like do a little home gym setup and Steve and I we ordered weights online because he wanted to work out and we were obviously in lockdown spent a very pretty penny on weights and now we have been using them in our house as door stops hey they still came in handy Yeah, the doors definitely stay open. So can recommend that purchase. Probably could have gone to Kmart and bought a proper doorstop or even just put my handbag in front of it. Like, honestly, did I need it? No. Did I convince myself I needed it? Absolutely, I did.

Stuff is expensive. Sophia, I'm going to go away from this episode with that advice and I'm going to put 24 hours between me and my purchase. But before we... I'm not going to lie, don't believe you. I don't believe me either. Well, I mean, it's optimistic. You can see it in my eyes. Yeah, I can. The way you said it, I was like, this woman is pulling my leg. I'm going to try. I really will try. All right. But before we wrap up,

do you have any more tips? I do. I feel like I've gone through them a lot. You're right. Putting 24 hours between you and your spending, I think is actually a really powerful one because it doesn't take that feeling of FOMO away from you. So I think a lot of the time, often if we say, well, just don't purchase it, you're like, well, I'm probably going to do it anyway because I want to have that dopamine hit. I think it pushes it off a little bit and allows you enough time to reflect on your values. The next is really, really boring. It's make a budget, check it, have a look at it, be really realistic with it. When I say make a budget, don't make an aspirational budget. If we're talking groceries here, don't go, oh my gosh, I'm a single gal like

you are. 75 bucks is, you know, good each week. I'm just going to spend that. If that's not what you're currently spending because your grocery bill's $150 a week, one, to cut it in half is insane immediately. But two, you're going to feel deprived, you're going to splurge on things at some point, and you're not going to have created a realistic budget that we can stick to. So if we are a bit more realistic with our budget, we can actually, you know, make some space to treat ourselves within reason. The next is actually breaking down the price. And this one hurts. I hate it. It's disgusting and it makes me sick. So how many hours work does it take you to earn that item? And we want to work out our post-tax hourly rate, not pre-tax because that's too kind.

We want to work out, okay, how much do I take home per hour? And you might work out, all right, well, you know, it's $19 an hour in my pocket after tax. Oh, how many hours is that on a Fitbit? would I work 12 hours genuinely for a Fitbit? Like if I held the Fitbit in front of you and said 12 hours work and you can have this, would you be like, heck yes. Or would you be like, oh, that gives me the ick. Not sure if I can part with it. Yeah. Don't think I would do it. That's a really good way to look at it. Yeah. It gives me the ick and therefore it's probably going to be really helpful. The next is obviously do some research before you buy. I mean, that is a given. Obviously don't get analysis paralysis, but doing a bit of research is really important.

the other thing I would say is a lot of places either price match or price beat so JB Hi-Fi aren't going to be sponsoring us anytime soon but the guys at JB on Bourke Street are legends first things first they are really great but they also know I'm going to ask for the best deal like I'll go in and be like oh hey you know I've got a team member starting and I need a new laptop or I need a new mouse or whatever I need I think that they have now come to the conclusion that I I'm going to stand in store. I'm going to Google that product and I'm going to see what it costs online. And then I'm going to ask them to sell it to me for that price. Like they just know it's coming. Yep. They do it every single time. And there's absolutely no judgment there. Cause I

think that they would do the same thing in my shoes. Like, why don't you just ask for the best deal? What's the worst that they can say? No. Did you, when you bought your Fitbit, did you Google how cheap it was online and see if you could get a price match? I knew it was cheaper online, But I couldn't bear to look at this young boy who was asking me how my day was and say, give me this for cheaper, please. No, they love it. It's like a game. Like, I feel like they would think that you're silly having paid full price when they know

that they're allowed to price match. Because all they do is go, oh, thanks so much, Beck. What website was that? And you go, oh, it was on, you know, XYZ website. And they go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just check it. Oh, yeah, you're right. It is, you know, 50 bucks cheaper.

Oh, I'll match it. and you go, thanks, money win. What a legend you are. Whoa. Okay. They'll actually think it's a flex. Like I low key believe that if you walk out of a store that does price matching and you didn't do it, they're going to be like, what an idiot. She didn't even ask for a discount. I would have given it to her literally for free, but they're not going to suggest you price match it because that's not their job. And most places it's Australia. And I mean this, we have international listeners, but here in Australia, we don't work in retail for commission. It's no skin off their back whether you got it for $50 cheaper or not. True. So ask next time. The worst thing they can

say is no. But also if you want to take a bit of that anxiety away, because like a guarantee that as much as I'm an advocate for this, I'm only going to be asking in places that I know have this policy. Like I'm not just going to walk into any business and be like, can you price match? And they go, no, we don't do that. I'd be like, oh, that's awkward. Yes, that's what I'm worried about. But like Google it. Does JB Hi-Fi price match or does Maya price match or does David or wherever you are. And then their policy will come up and you'll be like, oh gosh, like that's good. Some places beat it by 5%. Oh, that's even bigger money win. So I won't go on and on because I feel like everybody knows the tips and tricks to spend less, but also try using cash if you

possibly can. Because honestly, it hurts more having to hand over a crisp $50 note and getting broken change back as opposed to tapping your card. Obviously, if you're out shopping and you have a shopping list, try really hard to stick to that list. And then the last one I have is actually make sure you understand returns policies. And I say that because I have been stung with this a few times where I have bought from like a store and then realized that they'll only return for store credits. Have a look at where else you could get that particular item that does have a really good returns policy. So if you do have buyer's remorse and you go, all right, I really want to return it, you can get all your money back. And this works. And this is, you know, again, unsolicited advice

that means that David Jones is probably not going to sponsor us in the future, but that's okay. I'm here to help you guys. I know that sometimes their concession stores, you know how they have shops inside shops? Yes. You know, like the branded companies, like you might have like a Country Road and a Scanlon Theodore and whatever else. The overarching David Jones policy of returns applies to all those stores, whereas the standalone store might have a store credit only policy. Oh, that's some insider knowledge. Yes, so if you're like, oh, I really want this dress,

but it's a bit spino, oh, I don't know, maybe I'll go buy it. If you went and bought it from, you know, the store directly, you might go, oh, far out, store credit only or no returns. But if it's for sale in the David Jones or the Meijer, that return policy exists for that. That is a very, very hot tip. Very smart, but we should leave it there because we have definitely gone over and our producer is going to cut us off so let's leave before we get cut off let's go

let's go let's go but obviously before we go if you haven't already joined our facebook please do it's where our community shares money tips and tricks every single day free of judgment search she's on the money on facebook and join us and if facebook's not your thing we're on insta we're on tiktok just search she's on the money and we will pop right up and as always please don't forget to rate, review and subscribe because it actually really does help our little podcast and we really appreciate it. But have a good day and we'll see you guys on Friday. See you guys. The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and

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